#considering the fact that for nearly 80% of the people i interact with regularly I have no idea of their names!

[winterhawk-olympic-bang]

Let’s Get It On

How To Write Sex

Guest Poster: CB

Here is our second Writer Workshop post, written by CB. Have a read and then head over to the Discord Server where we have a channel for you to take part in a discussion based on the post, with chances to share your own ideas too. 

So Your Characters Want to Bang

Welcome to my Ted Talk on How To Successfully Write Pornography! We’re going to cover a few bases here (first, second, third, and home base, to keep up with the metaphor), but feel free to reach out if you have any questions either on the Discord server or here on the Tumblr. If you take a look at my body of work you can see that a significant portion of it is explicit fic, which I’m told is a struggle for some folks.  Apparently my CPU is 80% porn.exe, so I’ve got a bit of a niche. Additionally, I’ve got a medical professional background that includes a very specific nurse certification in sex-related shenanigans, so if you’ve got questions, I’ve got answers. 

When I decide to write porn (or when my characters decide it for me), I have a few basic things that I keep in mind in order to make sure the story stays on track, the character arcs fit with the scenarios, and that everything doesn’t start to feel too formulaic.  I’m going to share my methods and maybe you will find something that helps you out or inspires you to give writing explicit fic a try!

The Mechanics

Let’s start with the basics. Fictional pornography can start to feel, well, a little bit formulaic, especially if you read or write a lot of it.  There’s a standard formula of kissing, rubbing, fingers, dicks (or other bits), everybody comes, the end! There’s nothing wrong with sticking to the basic formula, especially your first time (ha!), but here are some thoughts on how you can make sure you’re getting the specifics done and done well, and how to avoid feeling like you’ve written the sexual equivalent of an English essay. 

Lubrication.  It… really doesn’t matter exactly what kind of sex your characters are having, you can’t go wrong with lube. Getting things wet and slippery is half the fun and also twice the enjoyment. Sometimes characters decide to get it on in unfortunately risque locations, and lube may not be readily available - here is a nice list of MacGyvered lube solutions you may find helpful in that circumstance. That being said - if you are writing anal sex of some sort, lubrication is an absolute must have. 

Preparation. Otherwise known as foreplay.  Prep is and can be sexy! Everyone involved wants to have a good time, some preparation is required! I don’t just mean fingers in the butt (although that can be important too, we’re gonna get to that), but just generally building up the level of arousal over time adds to the dynamic you’re trying to create between two characters. Even if it’s fuck-or-die, sex pollen shenanigans, just talking about how hot the character feels for it is still a form of preparation/foreplay.  Specifically speaking to buttsex - the amount of prep your character needs is heavily dependent on the circumstances.  For your consideration - is this a first time sex situation, or does your character regularly bottom? Are they pressed for time, or is this a long, drawn-out affair? There is not (despite what fanfic writers would have you believe) a certain number of fingers that you have to insert into anyone’s anus that makes them ‘ready’ for sex.  A person who regularly bottoms may not need any fingering at all, in fact, but they are still going to need lube. (See point 1.) If your character has never bottomed before, they’re going to need more time and patience than a character that does it a lot, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they need more and more and more fingers. It just means they need a partner with consideration for their comfort. And lube.

Coming. People (and thus, characters) don’t often come at exactly the same time.  Frequently someone comes first. The other person may not come at all! They don’t have to! If it’s important to you, that’s fine. But it can be fun to play with the dynamics of one character coming and the other character not, because they’re caring for the first character, or because they want to wait and enjoy the burn for later, or because of whatever other reason - which brings us back to character and story dynamic. Also, playing with this particular dynamic can make your pornography feel a lot less formulaic.  Character B didn’t come because they wanted to wait and savor the feeling, and maybe in a few hours or days, Character A gets to really have a good time paying them back with a truly spectacular orgasm.  Maybe they just really wanted to see their partner fucked out and happy, and coming really wasn’t that important to them. Maybe they’re sex-postive ace, or maybe they take medication that makes sex and orgasms hard to achieve, but they still enjoy the intimacy. It’s up to you (and your characters!), but it’s not necessary for both people to come for the scene to be satisfying.

Penetration. Penetration is not the end-all-be-all of sex. Penetration isn’t even required for something to be considered sex.  Some people never want penetration, and that’s okay.  This is a good time to consider your characters’ boundaries, a good way to involve consent, and a good way to consider what kind of bedroom dynamic your characters are going to share - even or especially if it’s completely different to the dynamic they share outside the bedroom.  Is penetration necessary or important to the characters, the story, or the development of the relationship? Even if you just want to write it, that’s fine, but considering your characters’ perspective and feeling will give the act more depth and nuance.

Expectations (and subverting them so that whatever you’re writing feels fresh and different). Like I said before, there’s a certain amount of ‘this is what’s going to happen’ expectation in fictional pornography. A series of steps that you can pretty much guarantee is going to get you from point A to point F in the sexual alphabet. One of the biggest ways that you can make your sex scenes feel more intimate, more character-driven, and more unique is by subverting those expectations and doing something different that fits your dynamic better or isn’t “the norm”. For example, in a recent fic I had a character fantasize about what it would be like to have the object of their affection on their hands and knees - but when it came time for the sex, said character flipped the script and climbed on top instead! Fictional pornography isn’t real, and people don’t necessarily want realism in their fiction, but adding some realistic elements (oh no, I’ve lost the lube!/it turns out I don’t like this one thing can we try another thing/a hilarious thing has just happened) can be fun and unexpected, and make the reader more invested in your story.

So You Want To Add An Explicit Scene

You’re writing a lovely enemies to friends back to enemies to lovers arc and the time has come to do the do.  I’m excited for you! I’m excited for your characters! But now you want to know how do I add this to my story organically? How do you make this feel like a natural progression of the story, how do you segue from fighting Doombots to sweating it up in the sheets? 

The trick, in my experience, is to build up to that moment way before you get there.  You have to lay the groundwork for attraction before anyone takes off any clothes.  Does Character A get distracted during the fight by staring at Character B’s biceps? Was that an absolutely beautiful sniper shot at an impossible angle and it was so good that Character A’s breath literally catches in his chest and he nearly gets hit in the face by a robot fist? Did someone else in the battle have to remind Character B to pay attention to the fight?  Is it movie night and Character A doesn’t even know the plot of the film because they’ve been too busy staring at Character B’s face in the light of the television screen? 

A little pining goes a long way, but you have to establish attraction before your characters can act on attraction. It feels jarring to your readers if the characters hated each other two paragraphs ago and now they’re fucking in a public space.  Even if it’s hate sex, you gotta have the POV character hate how attractive they find the other character.  Then you just need an inciting event - one character takes off their shirt because it’s ripped from the fight, or they bump into each other in the communal kitchen and that hot line of their bodies pressed together sparks a kiss - and then you’re off and running! 

The exception to this might be an established relationship Plot What Plot fic, but even then, you’ve probably got an idea that sparks the actual sex - include that in your fic!

Help, This Is Moving Way Too Fast!

Oh no, the pacing is off! It happens to the best of us, don’t worry. You get in a hurry (just come already, oh my god!), and you push through to the end and then on re-read or in beta, you find that the whole thing just feels flat and rushed.  It started off so well, and then you lost something somewhere in the middle. 

The way I combat this is by focusing on how the characters feel and/or how they react to what’s happening. 

Someone’s mouth is on someone else’s body - how does the POV character feel about this? If they’re the recipient, is this the hottest thing that’s ever happened to them? Are they afraid to let go and enjoy it? Are they 404 Error: Brain Not Found? Play around with it. Does the non-POV character say something unbelievably hot/romantic/sappy/hilarious? What kind of mood are you trying to set? This is a character interaction as much as dialogue is, so you’re still working with the back-and-forth of two people who are communicating, but with their bodies. (And words too, to be honest).  If the scene is too rushed, slow it down with some internal dialogue, external dialogue, or something emotional (like a realization or an acknowledgement - oh no I love them/oh no I don’t hate them/they always take good care of me). If the scene is too long (to be honest this rarely happens, but it can), consider whether you’ve added too much dialogue or other extraneous interactions that have slowed your scene and taken attention away from what’s happening.

Help, It Sounds Like A Medical Exam

This is nearly always a terminology problem. 

I’m not here to tell you what words you can and cannot use in your sex scenes.  Everyone feels differently about acceptable terminology (though we have all laughed at dick euphemisms).  And that’s not even getting into writing fics with trans characters or different gender identities. Personally, I tend to use cock/dick for penis, and I avoid specifically naming parts for vagina-havers because I’ve never found a good one that I liked that I felt flowed smoothly in my own writing.  So this one is more nebulous because it’s a personal choice you’re making about what words do it for you and what words don’t.  It’s also, again, about your character’s perspective.  If you have a character who prefers certain terminology, that’s the terminology you use. 

Here’s what I can suggest.  Don’t focus as much on the parts of the body you’re writing, and focus much, much more on the sensations you’re creating.  There is a mouth on your POV character’s penis - how does that feel to them? Is it: hot, tight, wet, is there something happening with the tongue, are they sucking really hard, are they going really deep?  Alternatively - is the non-POV character enthusiastic? Are they into it? Is how into it they are super hot to the receiving character? Are they sloppy but determined? Beyond the physical sensation, how about emotional reactions? Has your POV character never had this before, or has no one ever treated them with such tender care? Is it the best blowjob they’ve ever received? The worst? (This can still be hot - can the POV character give them careful, precise instructions on how to do it better? Does the non-POV character find THAT extremely hot?). 

Keep in mind that you’re not writing technical directions for the characters in your scene.  (Unless you are, because you’ve discovered Gentle!Dom!Bucky, who is telling Praise!Kink!Clint exactly what to do.) You’re writing a scene that conveys something emotional to the reader.  Is it a sexy emotion? Yes, yes it is. It might also be a sad emotion, or a happy one, or any of the range of human emotions, really, but the point is that readers probably know how the sex works mechanically, what you’re trying to do is give them feelings about it.

Speaking of Feelings

Let’s talk a little bit about motivation.  Yes, even sex scenes need motivation. Not to be the prima donna actor over here, but ask yourself: Why am I writing a sex scene? 

Generally speaking, well-written sex scenes are better received if they accomplish a goal.  Writing a sex scene well is easier if you have this goal in mind before you ever sit down in front of your computer.

Does this scene advance the story? By this I mean: is this an emotional resolution, does it convey something about the characters’ relationship that cannot be conveyed in another venue or does it better express that aspect of their relationship, does it have meaning beyond the immediate gratification of an orgasm or add to the fic in some way?

Does this scene advance the relationship? Is it a big step for one or both characters? Are you showing vulnerability/trust/compassion/concern/etc? Is it an emotional milestone? Is it an expression of love that one of the characters can’t make with words but can demonstrate physically?

I’m going to pull some very specific examples from my own work, helpfully crowdsourced and reviewed by a trusted friend so that I can talk more clearly about what I mean.

Russian Red: if you haven’t read this one, it’s a story about Bucky wearing lipstick and then giving Clint a blow job. That’s it, that’s the fic. When I put it like that, it doesn’t sound all that exciting, really, and maybe it doesn’t even sound like something you’d like. A man wearing lipstick may not be your thing!! That’s okay! (And as an aside, people enjoy reading/writing things that they have absolutely zero interest in in real life, and that’s okay! Fantasies are weird like that, and a normal part of human sexuality, and we aren’t judging anyone for their kinks here.) But this fic employs very specifically some of the points I’ve made so far, so I want to talk a little about it, especially foreplay and emotional investment. 

Bucky wearing lipstick in this fic is not about Bucky at all.  It is explicitly about fulfilling a fantasy for Clint.  In fact, later in the fic, Bucky has a moment of insecurity about it because he had what he thought was a great idea, and in the moment of truth it becomes a bit of screaming panic because what if the whole thing is stupid!!!! We’ve all had that moment.  So readers can relate. But also - throughout the course of the fic it becomes something that Bucky also enjoys and finds sexy.  So there are multiple motivators: emotional satisfaction for Bucky because he’s doing something for Clint, physical satisfaction for Clint because he is getting his fantasy fulfilled, and then the added bonus of Bucky finding the whole thing unexpectedly hot means that he is also satisfied by the encounter.  I have created an emotional need that is satisfied through porn.

Emotional investment (also known as the character is putting in work).  Bucky goes through a lot to make this fantasy happen.  He has to tell Natasha what he’s doing for one thing, which is uncomfortable. A little bit of character discomfort makes the payoff at the end better, because your reader is invested in your character having a good outcome! It also shows that Bucky cares about Clint more than he cares about the mild discomfort/vulnerability of asking Natasha about lipstick for a mildly kinky thing he’s doing.

Foreplay - the more invested Bucky gets in doing this thing for Clint, the more he starts to find it hot and exciting, the more like foreplay it becomes, which means the payoff in the end is that much better. (Revisit the point on preparation from earlier!).  There is a lot of build up from the moment Bucky puts the lipstick on (tactile sensations, memories tied to lipstick, etc.) to the moment he leaves the very first red imprint of his mouth on Clint’s skin and realizes oh shit, this is hot.

This fic is very, very close, tight third-person POV.  Keeping the POV so close and tight means that your reader is very much in your POV character’s head - the reader is getting their experiences (emotional, physical, tactile senses) but they’re only able to interpret the other characters’ motivations and reactions through the lens of your POV character.  It’s trickier writing, but it means the reader is more connected to the character and therefore the porn. Also, it means that the reader is much more in tune with the non-POV characters’ reactions, which means incoherent mess is just that much hotter.

Personal Security/Security Failure: So these fics are… their own claim to fame in fandom. Gentle!Dom!Bucky and Praise!Kink!Clint have sexy, sexy adventures.  The first fic is their first meeting, the second one is fondly known as Circus Spanking. If you haven’t read them, that’s the basic summary, but please mind the tags if you choose to explore this series. Here we’re going to hit on consent, which is important and sexy, and vulnerability/trust. 

Again it’s very close, 3rd person POV, which means you’re very much in Clint’s head when he’s a wrecked, incoherent mess.  In the previous fic Bucky was watching the incoherency happen, which is very hot. In this fic the reader is experiencing the incoherency.  There’s also a lot of buildup in the first fic of Clint experiencing this inexplicable attraction to Bucky, and the confusion he has that Bucky is equally attracted to him - so like foreplay, you’re building it up before they ever take their clothes off.

Consent.  If you are dabbling anywhere in the kink neighborhood I cannot express to you how important it is to include explicit consent.  Please get a kink sensitivity reader. Don’t surprise your audience with dubious consent - make it clear and explicit from the start, even if it’s consensual nonconsent (which is a tag, but can also be addressed early with a line like ‘this is something they’d talked about previously’). But also! Consent can be sexy! It can be fun! It doesn’t have to be a drawn out contract of hard limits and detailed diagrams (though I have seen that done and done well!). Consent can be as simple as checking in with a partner if they’ve gone quiet or seem so wrecked they can’t express themselves. Consent can be one character telling another exactly what they’re going to do to them (hot hot hot!!), asking if they’re okay with it, and then doing exactly what they said.

Vulnerability/trust. Just like with the previous fic, vulnerability adds a sense of emotional intimacy that can be super hot.  If you’re writing kinky fic, vulnerability and trust go hand in hand, and show how deeply invested characters can be in each other - and that they respect and care for one another as well.  One character making themselves vulnerable to another with the understanding that the other character isn’t going to take advantage of that trust can be supernova hot if you employ it correctly. The key here is making sure that the character in the position of power respects the vulnerable character’s boundaries.  Security Failure in specific sets up an emotional need (increased trust) that is fulfilled physically by the porn that follows.  Clint needs to trust Bucky more, and Bucky needs to know that Clint trusts him.  Clint making himself super vulnerable in this fic lets both of these needs be fulfilled.

 Interactions outside the bedroom compared to interactions inside the bedroom.  In this fic, I chose to have these mirror each other - Bucky is in control of himself and in command of the situation in all of their interactions, so before they ever get naked you know what to expect from the dynamic. What can also be fun, however, is subverting expectations, so that how characters interact outside the bedroom is very different from how they interact inside the bedroom - so this is another time when knowing what your characters want/prefer is important motivation for your writing!

Character moments in your porn - there’s a scene in the first fic where Clint (this is all Clint POV) thinks about how much he likes performing a certain act, because it makes him feel good and useful.  It’s a very short interaction but it tells you a lot about the character - it tells you he likes to be useful, that he likes to be considered good (hello praise kink!), and it tells you he has low self-esteem which makes you want to wrap him up and a blanket and tuck him in and tell him how good and useful he is, but you also want Bucky to wreck him.  Your characters still have characterization, even during porn. In the second fic, we see character growth that mirrors growth within the relationship, but there’s still room to grow because Clint is still uncertain and insecure, and the fic helps advance their relationship to a new level of trust.  Through porn.

Communication, communication, communication.  Especially in kink fic but honestly in most porn - your characters have to communicate with each other! It can be nonverbal, but you’ve gotta make it clear to the reader.

The Big Finish

Everyone came (or maybe they didn’t), now what CB?

Oof, good question. 

To be honest, endings are the hardest (ha!) part.  And luckily, we’re going to have a Workshop specifically about how best to accomplish them! But as far as sexy scenes and how to wrap them up and move on, I like to use resolution of whatever need I was trying to meet, and then open the next scene with something that demonstrates a new level of intimacy/relationship dynamic/etc. if it’s part of a larger storyline, or just fade to black if it’s a one-shot. 

I hate to keep beating a dead horse, but this also depends on your motivation for writing your sex scene.  If you were trying to accomplish something with the story, then you need to somehow demonstrate that goal has been met - are they more comfortable around each other now, are they happier to show off their relationship to their friends, are they finally admitting they’re in a relationship? If you were trying to accomplish something with the relationship itself (which, as you can see, may go hand in hand with the story), then how can you show that? Does the one who usually leaves finally fall asleep in the other person’s arms? Is there a big flowery declaration? Does someone crymax? Does one partner tenderly clean the other partner up with a warm cloth and snuggle them into submission? The world is your oyster! Do what feels right for your characters and the journey you’re taking them on! 

And don’t forget the lube. 

[wormfield1]

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Content

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[bullet-farmer]

Okay, I’m having a horrible mental-health day and feel overwhelmed by work, and talking about something that’s been bothering me really feels liberating. Because I feel like it’s one thing I can control right now.

Please don’t reblog this or tag it. I don’t want this to become Discourse, especially in an awesome fandom. But I needed to get this out in a space where people I trust can reply if they wish. I’m fine with disagreement and discussion, as long as people respect my feelings, or ask for clarification if they don’t understand what I’m talking about.

This got long. And it’s about pronouns. And fictional characters. And idk.

Another thing that kind of bothers me about assuming they/them or ze/zir for Beelzebub’s pronouns, and why I’m using both less and less*: I’m really uncomfortable with how few authors do the same for any other character (save, of course, for Pollution, whose pronouns are clearly mentioned as they/them and really should be used exclusively, because that’s just the decent thing to do).  Of course, some people use they/them across the board, or pronouns other than she/her and he/him in any combination. But in my experience, authors who do this are quite rare, at least on Ao3. In most cases, I find authors using “gendered” (for lack of a better word) pronouns for everyone else--namely, those that (presumably) match the gender of the actor who plays each role. For example: she/her for Michael and Dagon, and he/him for Hastur and Gabriel. 

I don’t want to make assumptions about why people do this. For one thing, making sweeping generalizations about people is always a bad idea. It’s even a worse idea when talking about why a group as diverse as fanfic authors. For another, I don’t know what is in people’s hearts or minds, and I’d rather not try to arbitrate any thoughts but my own. That said, in the West, we are swimming in a sea of gender essentialism and binarism. And I can’t help but feel that both are somehow in play in this phenomenon.

Angels and demons in Good Omens are nonbinary. But from a binarist point of view, you could say that nearly all of the angels and demons have at least a few stereotypical masculine or feminine qualities. For example: Michael wears makeup, and a very frilly blouse at one point; Michael’s suit and Uriel’s have what we would call a feminine cut. Dagon has long hair in a style we would call feminine, Sandalphon has male-pattern baldness, Hastur has a deep voice and wears “masculine” clothes, etc. 

But Beelzebub breaks this pattern. She’s what people in the West tend to think of when they hear the term “androgynous”: somewhat boyish and youthful in appearance, dressing in typically “masculine” clothes that don’t emphasize her shape, and behaving in a way that many would call more masculine than feminine. To put it another way, she is aggressive, she speaks forcefully, she shows no hallmarks of being a queen or princess, and she entirely lacks subtlety. Women, of course, are socialized to do the exact opposite. Save for her appearance at the airfield, she is also far more unkempt than any character in the series with the possible exception of Hastur.  I’m beginning to see several problems as I go deeper into this deep dive.  First problem: the assumption that “nonbinary” means androgynous or genderless. And, as a subset of that problem, the assumption that androgynous and agender/genderless are synonymous, and that they/them and ze/zir are “genderless” pronouns. For some people, they very much are. For others, they are not. (For example, a blogger I follow identifies as a cis woman and uses both she/her and they/them).  Second problem: The fact that a character played by an actress simply must be agender or “not female” because said character is androgynous and behaves in stereotypically “masculine” ways.  Third problem: ...Why are we only insisting on they/them or ze/zir for the dirtiest, least conventionally attractive character in the show? I mean, being dirty and unkempt isn’t a stereotypically nonbinary trait, but considering how society sees women who don’t obsess over their looks as “not real women,” this has some very unfortunate implications to me. Fourth problem: Y’all, Neil didn’t say that Beelzebub would probably use they/them as pronouns. He said “zir” (and to be honest, I think that was him being witty rather than making an official statement). I understand that some people can uses these interchangeably to describe themselves, but they really aren’t interchangeable. And acting like they are, strikes me as basically saying “well, these are all nongendered pronouns, so just pick whichever you like best when talking about someone.” Imagine calling someone whose pronouns are they/them, “ze/zir” and thinking that isn’t misgendering or upsetting. I also don’t see posts that insist we respect any other character as nonbinary--particularly characters like, say, Hastur, Ligur, or Gabriel. (Perhaps I’m mistaken, but I really feel like people are even more hesitant to call more “masculine” characters nonbinary than they are Dagon, Michael, etc. Which also strikes me as having really unfortunate implications. But that’s a whole other post.) Or regular use of “Nonbinary Character” and “Canon Nonbinary Character” tags on AO3 for any other demon or angel.  All of this is really starting to get to me as a nonbinary/genderfluid person who absolutely does not see myself as agender or androgynous, even if people regularly describe my looks as “masculine” for reasons I’ll get into in a second. I’m genderfluid and nonbinary because I do not fully or consistently identify with the gender I was assigned at birth--and because I never have. While some days I feel fine with having society see me as a cis woman, some days I am deeply not okay with it--and am actually dysphoric because my body doesn’t look more stereotypically androgynous. However, when I realized that stereotypical androgyny is a concept that cisheterocentric society forces on nonbinary people--and DFAB people in particular--my dysphoria became a bit more manageable.  I also do not attend to my appearance. I have no interest in wearing makeup, flattering clothes, or even feminine ones. I wear skirts for comfort; I’ve always hated pants because of sensory issues, but if I didn’t, I’d probably wear a lot of “men’s” clothes. As it is, I wear T-shirts cut for men, rather than the fitted versions for women. And baggy clothes that men can get away with wearing, but women not so much. I don’t regularly style my hair despite having it long. I don’t shave any part of my body--which began upsetting people when I was twelve, y’all. Adults constantly bothered me about it, and about looking more feminine and stylish. I may be the only “girl” on the planet whose father encouraged her to wear shorter skirts and more flattering tops when she was in her early teens.

It really upset me, but at the time I had no language for why--other than that I felt pushed and harassed. Thankfully, people have since mostly cut that shit out, but when you deal with it as a child, it really leaves some scars and some gender confusion--a fact I only realized while typing this out! Of course, I don’t believe that any of these life choices inherently make anyone any particular gender. But society thinks differently. To it, I’m a failure as a woman, and when you add on the fact that I’m nearing forty, childfree, offbeat, clueless about ‘appropriate” interactions with men, and loud and messy because of ADHD, I’m labeled as even less of a woman. I would have no problem with this if it didn’t come with the pejorative baggage. I have never been a girl or a woman, though I feel I share enough in common with this gender to be comfortable having it be part of my identity to some degree. Even as a child, I felt this but I had no name for it because no one was talking about trans issues in a conservative red state in the 80s and 90s, and they sure as fuck wouldn’t have done it around kids. I didn’t even hear the word “nonbinary” until the early 2010s.  All of this also means that I don’t get many characters or images that represent me. Again, media portrayals of people like me (DFAB and not consistently woman-identifying) are so rare that Beelzebub is the ONLY one I have found in my adult life who isn’t, you know, the butt of a joke about viragos and lesbians who are too ugly to get a man, and “undateables.” So having people insist that using she/her is somehow misgendering is...well, I get that it’s not directed at me. That it isn’t about me personally. That it isn’t meant to hurt me. That it is a lot of nonbinary people and genderfluid people talking about their own experiences. I know all of that, and I don’t begrudge people their feelings. But it still kind of hurts when they disapprove of disagreement. And it makes me worry that fewer people will read my fic, and may accuse me of misgendering if they do, even if I always “warn” for pronouns. I’m even hesitant to make posts like this or to refer to Beelzebub as she/her in casual conversation. Which, well...kind of makes me feel like I do in life. Almost no one but my therapists knows I’m not cis, because I don’t think I could explain it to them without causing confusion and some distress. Which I don’t want to cause and don’t have the spoons to deal with, especially when my own gender issues are so complicated and unclear even to me.

I also just don’t have the spoons to deal with people for assuming I’m a cis, straight girl writing a hetero relationship when I use she/her in most of my Beelzefic. And to be honest, I’m just sort of hurt at the inconsistency around pronouns and the issues said inconsistency raise for me. 

I mean, like I said, I know this isn’t personal, and I do my best to keep that in mind. But I don’t like having to hold my thoughts in because they might upset other genderfluid and nonbinary people.** I have to do that enough in my life already as a queer person, and as a mentally ill person whose feelings are not always appropriate to the situation. Having to hold them in here, too, feels really unfair and frustrating to me, and kind of like I can’t be myself even in LGBTQ+ spaces. so... tl;dr  Use whatever pronouns for Beelzebub you like, or no pronouns at all. I am not the pronoun police, and I would never tell anyone what to do with their writing. But please don’t accuse people of misgendering if they do otherwise, or mistreat them if they do, or make assumptions about them or their reasons. You don’t know who they are or what experience they’re writing from, just as they don’t know who you are and your experiences. I guess that’s it. thank you. 

* Yes, I am aware of what Neil said on the subject. I’m genderfluid and allowed to disagree and to present an alternate view. ** I really don’t care too much about cisgender folks’ opinions on this issue. I’m sorry, but I don’t. Especially when cisgender people opine about what pronouns we should use for a character. I’m glad that they’re concerned and think they’re trying admirably to be good allies, but this really is an in-house and stay-in-your-lane issue. 

[manifestoonmoralmanlove]

Jealousy Rant

Hello you Rotten Folks,

Due to real life stuff I have been posting less frequently but in particular that long-form stuff. So have this big olde rant on jealousy in BL I may or may not edit more, and may or may not make into audio.

Triggers: for discussion on abusive behavior including physical violence, stalking, controlling behavior, and sexual assault.

Why jealousy is a bad trope:

1.)    It’s toxic

2.)    It’s non-conflict

3.)    It doesn’t actually deal with the roots of jealousy

Are you a fan of Fap’s furious fujoshi fumes, but want a meta-analysis of the genre as a whole instead of specific titles?

Oh no it seems literally no one is asking for that…no one except Faps and FUCK YOU I DO WHAT I WANT HAHA!

So that brings me to “Trouble with Tropes” or heh heh TROUPLES!

Anybody who’s ANY fan of romance has had to stare into the unrelenting green eyes of this trouple.  I speak of no other than Jealousy.  While I think some of what I’m going to say will resonate with how jealousy is used in fiction on a whole, I’m going to focus on how it’s used in BL…which I feel is a very potent and distilled version of it. Also heaven forbid I read about anything beyond nasty gay tonguings.

What better place to start than What IS jealousy?

Jealousy can cover a variety of topics but in the case of romance here I will be talking specifically about romantic and sexual jealousy.

Dictionary.com states that - feeling or showing suspicion of someone's unfaithfulness in a relationship.

Seems to be the one best suited for a romance but I’d argue that the definition that suits BL’s brand of jealousy is more like

fiercely protective or vigilant of one's rights or possessions.

Why do I say this?

Well because sometimes they literally say their partner is a possession.  And even if not outright stated, it is heavily implied in the script.

(examples: Cute Devil + lamb project + Radical blood monster + Others)

There’s also the fact that very rarely is infidelity even considered a legitimate thing that would occur. As I said, the jealousy in BL is very, very POTENT and therefore has escalated beyond a suspicion of COULD BE UNFAITHFUL to a PERSON IS MY PROPERTY AND MY PROPERTY IS NOT ALLOWED TO INTERACT WITH OTHER HUMANS!  

 Getting real

Before I start ripping through this topic like a repressed teenage boy rips through a heavily populated street in Grand theft Auto… allow me to say that jealousy is a valid emotion to experience.  When I rip on this trope it is not my intention to invalidate people who do struggle with jealousy in their relationships.  However if you experience an emotion it doesn’t give you carte blanche to behave in any way you please.   It’s the same as regular old anger.  It’s normal to be angry if a partner forgets to let the dog out so the dog pees on the rug.  However beating the shit out of that partner is NOT the right way to handle the forgetfulness or your own anger.  Same with jealousy, it’s not unusual to get jealous of someone close to their partner. However that person responding to that with physically removing them, and screaming threats at them is SUPER NOT OKAY!  Yet that is not uncommon in BL.

One must also maintain an acceptable amount of jealousy in order to maintain a healthy relationship.   It’s not wrong to feel really angry or sad when you’re jealous…but if you get these feelings ALL THE TIME and due to things that are not a threat to your relationship, then that’s something to manage rather than something to blame on your partner.  Capice?

TOXIC

The main problem is that the jealousy that is common in BL is HELLA TOXIC! Jealousy is regularly tied to deeper issues of personal insecurity yet the fact there is any kind of insecurity is very rarely mentioned in the text or even subtext of the story.  Instead of this becoming a problem that one has to deal with on a personal level, it becomes a problem of the other having to obtain unrealistic standards.  Sometimes the source of the jealousy is not a feasible such as a TODDLER NEPHEW or the fact that strangers GLANCE AT THEM when in public and sometimes the source of the jealousy isn’t even human. I have seen characters throw jealousy tantrums over pets, work (school or career orientated), and even the vague concept of a SPORT!    So if you’re trying to avoid jealousy in a BL make sure you don’t go to school, don’t have a job, don’t own pets, don’t have family, don’t go out in public, and DEAR GOD don’t have hobbies either!  Woah faps those things aren’t humans so it’s not like romantic or sexual jealousy.  That’s a fair point…but the thing is the romantic/sexual jealousy functions the exact same way in those non-sexual/romantic scenarios.  HOW COULD THAT BE???? Well the jealousy that we see here is in part about being left out when a partner does other things but is in large part about dominance.  You got no other man to posture against? Well then just posture at a child, a puppy, or at a basketball why not?

Not only does jealousy crop up to unreasonable situations, an unreasonable amount of time (I’d estimate it occurs in 80% of BL mangas) but the way it’s handled is usually problematic as well.  

The most common response I’ve seen to jealousy is the seme grabbing the uke by the wrist, dragging him away from the source of jealousy, pinning him to a wall, explaining that the source of jealousy is bad for the uke or that the uke is behaving poorly/stupidly by simply interacting with the source of jealousy, and they a fit of forceful jealousy induced make-outs or sex occurs that range from consensual to downright very non-consensual.  Sometimes the uke will protest this treatment or the characterization of the jealousy fodder but this is pointless because it doesn’t become a conversation.  It is simply about the seme controlling the uke and asserting his dominance.  

Stalking is also extremely common if there is suspected jealousy.   Troubling jealousy behavior can range from as tame as going through someone’s phone without permission to drugging, kidnapping, and nearly killing a partner for one of these trespasses.

HEY HEY HEY NOW! You man-hater! Ukes can be super creepy jealous too! …but ukes are men too… THAT’S NOT THE POINT! You’re acting as if only dominant partners experience jealousy!

No, no, no, you’re right. Ukes get jealous too and sometimes to the same batty degree.  Yet, as a whole, uke jealousy tends to be less common and less destructive than jealousy of the seme variety.   The most common situation where an uke gets jealous of what a seme is doing is, the uke is pushed into a corner to admit he’s jealous.  The seme will reassure the uke he’s misunderstood and they make up.   On one hand you can argue that this is a much healthier way to settle a jealousy problem. On another hand you may view this as something of a double standard.  

If the uke’s jealous…it’s the uke’s fault and it’s nothing to worry about.  If the seme’s jealous...it’s the uke’s fault and it’s deadly serious.

This double standard even extends into how we view violent reactions for either side.  If a seme hits an uke for a trespass it will usually be framed as serious and scary.  If the uke hits the seme for a trespass it will usually be framed as a silly, and harmless outburst of tsundereness.

…Yes that’s right, the patriarchal set up of the seme/uke dynamic doesn’t just take a shit on ukes….though 9 times out of 10 it’s the ukes that do get the short end of the stick here.

Okay but let’s get the root of the problem…why is jealousy used?

If you’re a person who is not a bitter feminist killjoy who says aggravating SJW shit like, “TOXIC MONOGOMY CULTURE OPRRESSES MY GENDER NEUTRAL GENITLES” you may argue that jealousy is romantic.  I personally don’t think it is, but you’re fully allowed to view jealousy, as a concept, as a touching display of vulnerability and investment in a relationship.

However if you’re a cynical over-thinking fujoshi brimming with resentment to the genre you’ve mistakeningly dedicated your free time to, you may say the frequent use of jealousy is simply because it’s EASY WRITING!

It’s handy throw-away drama you can use in an established relationship that won’t have deeper ramifications for the relationship even if it’s on-going.  You can solve this pretty easily at any given point or decide to reintroduce it despite it previously being wrapped up.  You can use this almost TOTALLY regardless of either of the characters’ personalities or back stories.   It’s good for a quick antagonist, or to tantalize fans with a different flavor of sexual tension.  This is usually dependent on the gender of the jealousy fodder.

Ugh I’ve heard you use the term ~jealousy fodder~ like a billion times.  Why do you call it that?  

Because these characters rarely have anything going for them besides the fact they’re the conflict du-jour.  You’d be hard pressed to learn an interest of the fodder’s outside of “TRYING TO BANG PROTAG!” and they rarely do anything else in the story besides create this shallow drama.  Sometimes the jealousy drama is totally auxiliary to the main conflict of the story to boot. If you’re lucky and ONLY if you’re lucky the fodder will be shuffled into another couple.  Sometimes you won’t even see this jealousy used in a love triangle way.  It’s usually pretty obvious from the beginning that the protag is going to choose even if the other option is an objectively better person and choice for them.

In my years of reading BL I have only encountered 2 instances of a character being jealous and the other character ACTUALLY cheats on him. (Zetsuai Bronze and Totally Captivated.) Now people have different standards of what “cheating” is.  Some goes so far as to say that “Thinking about cheating” is CHEATING.  Even by that (pretty ridged standard) I would still say only the above.

Despite this low, low number, I see jealousy used in manga 80% of the time.  Are you picking up what I’m putting down here?  A breach of actual trust is not actually going to happen…99.99% of the time.  Oh but what if the jealousy is something a character has to work through to feel less anxious?  Excellent idea! I’ve seen that approach FUCKING ONCE! (Café Latte Rhapsody) So if there is no actual threat of trust breaching and it’s not something either of them has to work through on a mental or emotional level….WHAT KIND OF CONFLICT IS THAT?

NON-FUCKING-CONFLICT IS WHAT!

I’d be much more entertained by staring into my own fucking bellybutton….but faps obviously you would since you navel-gaze as if you have a gemstone there.  IF I BELIEVE HARD ENOUGH I’LL BECOME I CRYSTAL GEM OKAY!?!?!?!?

Eh-hem!

But you will see jealousy commonly used in one instance of actually plot important drama.  And that is the ever, important, cementing of a couple’s relationship.   I call the use of jealousy in this instance:

TOY TRUCK CONSUMATION

Da fuck is that?  Toy truck consummation is a character will only realize he truly cares romantically for someone because he experiences jealousy. He didn’t want that toy truck until somebody else was going to play with it.  Thankfully I don’t see this often outside of high school settings.  A grown-ass man who is that fucking blind to his own feelings and childish enough to throw a tantrum out of it, can fuck RIGHT OFF! ….Though honestly teenagers behaving that way is still deeply shitty.

This is not an auspicious beginning to a loving relationship, if it’s formulated over single-mindedly hating a 3rd party, a 3rd party that is typically on good-terms with the target of affection.  So, a relationship we’re supposed to root for is predicated on a dude swooping in and ripping a valued person away from them for entirely selfish reasons.  I wouldn’t consider it dreamy if a seme threw an uke’s beloved play station 4 out the window because it holds the ukes attention sometimes.  I consider it even less dreamy when it’s something even more valued like yanno a friend.  (Though of course this can happen from the uke to the seme as well.) While sometimes, this individual is romantically interested in one of our leads…I’d say a good half the time if not more…they’re not at all.  

“Why are you losing your mind over someone, you’re not dating, hanging out with their friend? Even if the friend very obviously has 0 romantic or sexual interest in them?  Is it because you’re an anal fungus that causes people to shit their pants for no reason?  It’s probably because you’re a parasitic ass mushroom that makes people poop uncontrollably”

This, also, is pretty damn lazy.  Writing someone coming to grips with a difficult emotion is hard in itself. Writers will usually use 3rd parties to help bounce information back to a struggling individual to help give them insight.  And that can be used in this case as well!  Interacting with another couple, talking to someone who’s an out LGBTQ person, or even just a friend or relative that can relate!  However all of that is harder to pull off as melodramatically as a petty fuck-lord gut-punching a jealousy fodder out of the blue.  Hoo boy sonny! We should have a parade in his honor cause golly isn’t that the way to handle your problems!

But what if the jealousy fodder was really after them?

Then I would say the story may feature the trope….

Irrational jealousy magiced into rational jealousy!

What I mean is that there is a dominant that appears to be irrationally jealous.  There is no indication in the text the jealousy fodder is not on the up and up and the dominant is not privy to classified documents that make him secretly suspicious.  However turns out the harmless friend, acquaintance, co-worker, boss, mail man etc is actually a heartless rapist just trying to lower the submissive’s guard.  

This trope makes me foam at the mouth because not only is it cheap, cliché, and annoying but it justifies abusive behavior.  It states that No matter what crazy shit that lunatic boyfriend of yours spouts he’s fucking infallible.  If he tells you that the atmosphere has become poisonous to you and the only breathable air is in his testicles, you better clamp down on that cocktail wiener like a pit-bull because any damn self-serving nonsense he spews must be followed to the fucking letter.  Why? Because he is a mind-reader, a genius, and a clairvoyant with flawless judgment by nature of being born a DOMINANT MAN! TA-DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!

May I just add this is not a trope specific to BL but a trope that makes me want to drink into a stupor each time I see it.

Well if you’re so fucking relationship savy, how would you handle jealousy in stories huh!?

…By actually tackling the causes of jealousy which are very rarely acknowledged in BL.  As far as I can tell there are 3 major roots of jealousy.

1.)    Insecurity – I am not a good enough partner so my significant other is going to drop me as soon as they find somebody better.

2.)    Distrust – My partner does not respect our monogamous agreement and will sleep with other people if they can get away with it.

3.)    Missing out -  I feel left out if my partner is doing something without me.

I have seen all three roots play a role in fictional jealousy outbursts and they’re usually tied intimately together.  However the 1st two are the keys here.

Mistrust is an interesting situation because 99% of the time the mistrust is not that the partner will sleep around given the chance.  However the mistrust is shown as more of a, “I cannot trust my partner to avoid situations where they’ll be sexually assaulted.”

While this is framed as a jealousy issue at times, I don’t think it should.  Why?  If a character is sexually assaulted it is NOT the victims fault.   But haha welcome to the 50 foot deep pit of backwards sexual politics that is BL. YOU’RE WELCOME!

Insecurity plays a large role in BL jealousy…but I have only seen it addressed directly as a failing of personal confidence once. (Café Latte Rhapsody)

Most of the time characters that are subtextualy highly insecure are portrayed as powerful and that their jealousy tantrums is just ~how strong men act~ rather than ~they obviously hate themselves and fear their partner would find someone better.~  

I’ll be quite frank, a lot of the time…they’re correct the uke could do a lot better than the jerkass seme they’re saddled with.  However, instead of changing their negative behavior for the better they just control the uke’s every movements which is yanno not doing the uke OR the seme any favors. Sometimes this functions realistically in a story like in Space Between where Riki is an unwilling sex slave and Iason keeps him under his thumb.  However the majority of them treat this like a normal and healthy relationship…but

Wouldn’t it be better if one is not constantly wracked with fear over their partner leaving them?

Wouldn’t it be better if the other can have friends and leave the house?

I’m not saying the two can’t struggle with issues of jealousy…but I mean…can’t we treat jealousy like something they work on together instead of just,

“I can’t believe you talked to them! I DIDN’T MEAN TO!”

That sound clip? Just play it on loop

“WELP LET’S HAVE THIS SAME EXACT PISSING CONTEST FOR THE 90TH FUCKING TIME!  IT’S NOT GOING TO BE DIFFERENT NEXT TIME BECAUSE WE’RE NOT GOING TO TREAT IT LIKE ADULTS WOULD!”

 So the problem with jealousy as a trope in romance and BL fiction is thus:

1.)    It’s toxic, doesn’t treat it as toxic, and sometimes justifies the toxicity.

2.)    It’s pathetic, cliché, non-conflict

3.)    It doesn’t really even understand what jealousy is.

[unixcommerce]

What is Instragram Threads And How Can It Help Your Business?

Back in 2017, Instagram released and then subsequently shut down a private messaging app called Direct.

The app was aimed to rival Snapchat, much like Instagram’s “Stories” feature.

The app shut down came after a couple months with few international downloads, and all messages sent on it were transferred back to Instagram’s in-app direct messaging feature.

Now, a year later, Instagram is back at it, developing a new private messaging app called Threads.

The app is reportedly in its internal testing stage.

Instagram Threads App

Here’s what businesses need to know about the opportunity of a separate Instagram messaging app.

What’s Different About Threads?

Threads is essentially an amped-up version of the current Instagram private messaging feature, intended to focus more on establishing and nurturing in-private connections between groups of friends.

Like the current Instagram private messaging feature, you will be able to see which of your friends are online, talk one on one or in small groups, take and send pictures directly, and view stories.

But Instagram has also added a couple new features which seem very similar to Snapchat’s Snap Map feature.

In Threads, the user can opt-in to automatic sharing, which allows the app to regularly update your status, alerting your friends to where you are or if you’re on the move.

The idea behind this would be to make planning easier between friends and keep you in touch even when you’re not actively in contact.

The user can also post manual updates if they choose.

Private Messaging Is the Future

Private messaging is the next big thing in digital communication.

At this year’s F8 conference, Mark Zuckerberg made a statement in his keynote address, saying:

“It’s no surprise that the fastest growing ways we’re communicating online are private messaging, and in small groups and stories. A private social platform can start to become the center of your social experience. That’s why I believe that the future is private. This is the next chapter for our services.”

Facebook has had a separate messaging app for nearly a decade now, and Instagram considers the DM feature on the app to be so strong that they have considered spinning out a separate app twice in the last year.

Privacy has become a high-profile issue, especially for brands like Facebook. More people are inclined to interact privately, making private messaging a more in-demand feature in apps.

In fact, messaging is the preferred method of communication.

According to research by Business Insider Intelligence, for both personal and business purposes, people in general prefer messaging to social media.

Messaging apps are now bigger than social media apps, and it looks like they’re going to continue to improve.

In addition to the fact that users prefer to privately message each other to have personal conversations, private messaging is also highly useful to brands that utilize social media platforms to reach their audiences.

Why Should Businesses Take Advantage of Threads?

Because messaging apps have surpassed social media apps in use and popularity, businesses should be taking advantage of them.

It’s important for businesses and brands to meet people where they are — 80% of Instagram users already voluntarily follow a business.

That’s an opportunity that can’t be passed up.

So why should businesses focus on Threads specifically?

Instagram, as an app, has the highest levels of engagement of all social media platforms. It’s easy to use and accessible.

With the rise in popularity of private messaging, businesses should expect Threads to perform well.

Instagram’s high levels of user engagement have proven to be very good for business.

People engage with brands on Instagram 10 times more than they do on Facebook.

And it’s even more for other social media platforms! Brand engagement on Instagram is 54X more than on Pinterest and 84X more than on Twitter.

The Critical Business Move is Private Messaging

Businesses grow the most when they are able to engage with potential clients and convert them into lasting customers.

The proven engagement on Instagram is a great stepping stone for businesses to take advantage of.

In addition, the proven popularity of private messaging apps should be a sign to businesses that combining the two — the most engaged users and the most loved form of communication – would be a gold mine for business.

Some businesses, including Facebook, the most profitable social media platform in the world — are already planning to invest resources into making the move to being more focused on private messaging.

In fact, we’re hoping to see all the Facebook messaging apps tied together next year.

This wouldn’t mean an all-in-one private messaging app, however.

While the apps –Facebook Messenger, Instagram, and WhatsApp — would remain separate, their base technical foundation would be unified.

This means that the 2.6 billion people that use each of these apps would be able to communicate with each other across platforms.

Mark Zuckerberg‘s desire to integrate the technical foundation of these apps lies, particularly, in privacy.

A distinct feature of this integration will be the end-to-end encryption, ensuring that the only people who can view private messages are the ones sharing them.

It seems that Instagram’s in-production private message app may be an early step in the direction of this integration.

Republished by permission. Original here.

Image: Depositphotos.com

This article, “What is Instragram Threads And How Can It Help Your Business?” was first published on Small Business Trends

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The 7 Common Stereotypes When It Comes To SEO 2019

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Head associated with Marketing at @impressiontalk specialising within user-centred SEO, PAGE RANK, content marketing and digital technique. Primary is usually on inbound marketing, including every thing from SEO to social press. However, a good agency providing SEO services is usually all about being proactive in order to keep up-to-date with the most recent search engine news and adjustments in SEO techniques. Video marketing provides new opportunities to drive even more visitors your site and enhance its SEO status. Research Engine Optimisation (SEO) in 2018 is really a technical, deductive and creative process to enhance the visibility associated with the website in search motors. Off-page SEO makes reference to the actions taken outdoors of your personal website that could help boost your search motor rankings. 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[kitchenknifeforyou-blog]

Kitchen Knife for Your Home

We sliced and we diced. We welcome Deborah Brownstein, cooking Educator and possessor of Mangia Bene Catering and Kitchen Instructor Cookery Civilize, into our investigating live to assist us put our 11 contenders through their paces. Each injure realized cardinal tests:

Herbs: Can the knife cut candy leaves without bruising them? Carrots: Can the injure fade carrots without splintering the slices? Walnut Vine: Can the knife both slicing into, and carefully flake, a walnut squelch? Fearful: Can the knife successfully butterfly a poulet boob? What's the champion way to admit your projection? According to Bob Poet, projection sharpener and possessor of City Stab Sharpening & Activity, you should regard your kitchen projection in a fold grasp: grip toward the cheater of the handle, with your moulding and your coiled indicator digit pinching the part of the blade. Just forth, Brownstein identified a difficulty with our program: all the knives we'd elite were leaving to follow. "These tests mold whether a injure is intense," she explained, and since our knives were level brands beingness victimized aligned out of the box, they were pretty untold guaranteed to be mill distinct.

Brownstein told us to centering on how the cutlery mat in our hands as we performed apiece task. Were we healthy to baggage it comfortably? Was it too inflamed or too cloudy? Did the spine rub awkwardly against our forefinger fingers as we cut? These are the information that can hit or split a cook's relation with their kitchen wound.

Our investigation unit comprised a capability of ages, body types, and script sizes - not to refer vastly distinct levels of cookery undergo - so we were thunderstruck to gestate that yes, there actually was consensus as to which knives felt good.

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Our Picks for the Superior Chef Knife Most Popular MAC MTH-80 Professional Broadcast 8-Inch Chef Wound with Dimples Nonrational ornamentation for most ability sizes and accomplishment levels. Buy on Woman

The MAC MTH-80 Professed Program 8-Inch Chef Stab with Dimples is the brand's "most general injure for familiar use" - and it was the most favourite injure in our investigation people. It was sluttish to interact, snug for most reach sizes, and allowed us to utter a grumbling limit of chopping, slicing, and peeling. One inquirer rumored that the MAC change "precise" when chiffonading candy leaves, and another noted "very adroit cuts" as she halved her walnut squeeze.

At 7.1 ounces, the MAC is rightmost in the intermediate of our contenders in terms of coefficient, but the blade is exclusive 1.88 inches across - which substance you never consider equal you're wielding a cleaver (dissimilar the Messermeister Lot Mall Element, which one quizzer reportable "just felt big and heavy"). In fact, the MAC's substantial massiveness was a squirting theme, which one tester describing the projection as "trim and status, but counterbalanced."

This part strength hold been helped along by the MAC's half-bolster. Two of the terzetto full-bolstered knives that we proved got dinged for intuition "clunky" or "deep," patch the the Spheric G-2 8-Inch Chef's Projection, which has no pillow at all, felt "virtually too light" to both of our testers.

Asiatic vs European-style? Japanese-style knives are lighter, with thinner blades; European-style (or German-style) knives are heavier, with wider blades. Neither is necessarily amended. It boils perfect to individual alternative and the identify of preparation you're liable to do. "The MAC wound is one of my favorites," Brownstein told us. "The weight/balance is perfect for me. It's heavy sufficiency to cell your substance unitedly and it keeps a great progress." Poet agrees that the MAC is reputable for small guardianship and for fill who necessary to micturate gangling cuts. It's a Japanese-style stab, which effectuation it's accomplishment to be smaller in statesman than a European-style cutlery. If you drawing on extract up, say, a lot of cowardly bones (or if, suchlike a deuce of our testers, you wound with a brimfull pillow, same the Wusthof Creation Chef Injure, one of our runners-up.

The MAC's granton boundary - aka the "dimples" along the side of its leafage - are designed to prevent matter from sticking to the cutlery as you hopper. Brownstein noted that piece these divots don't make a vast number, the first way to donjon sticky content off is to rub the weapon of the injure with a immature field stalklike oil before opening things equivalent flavouring or vine. But testers did observance that the MAC concentrated less bits of herb and candy than another contenders.

The exam marketing stop? We asked Brownstein which knife she'd equivalent to cover national with her, as a thank you for serving us with the tests. She chose the MAC.

Person for Knowledgeable Chefs Avoid Classic 8? Chef Injure Gorgeous, but with a steeper learning line. Buy on River

The Shun Classic Chef Projection was another investigation way challenger. The packaging was so stunning it caught our eye before we change took it out of the box: the Shun seems premeditated to elevate party preparation to an artistic circumstance.

It also made a vivid imprint when we started chopping. Testers had no discommode halving a walnut press, and the projection was mobile sufficiency to rind said press in "precise sesquipedalian strips." It was also the exclusive stab we proved that prefab that solid "shwing" uninjured when we sliced. (If you stop a spell of press in figurehead of you and part off a structure - carefully, and away from your body - you'll concentrate it.)

The Avoid, equal the Mac, is a lightweight Asiatic injure with a half bolster - no volaille remove chopping, satisfy. "I screw Shun knives," Brownstein told us. "They're exquisite - suchlike a serviceable art serving - with uppercase hold and obedient lineament steel." And our testing team united. The knife "feels and looks foppish," one quizzer told us, and at 7.3 ounces, with a leafage that's 1.8 inches fanlike, it had a heft and bear confusable to the MAC.

But the Avoid is clearly premeditated for grouping who already see their way around a kitchen. Several tiro cooks in our assemble struggled to confirm a snug friction, with one sorrowful that "it retributive doesn't finger honorable." The knife's projection was also lower unvindictive, resistance against indicant fingers that slid out of a comely chomp suitcase. That said, the projection got an overpoweringly affirmative response from experienced chefs - and regularize novices likable it outdo than the Japanese-style Miyabi knives we reliable, which had blades and handles that matte inflexible and clunky.

In fact, the Shun's manipulate was a standout dimension. Kinda than existence totally disklike (same both tralatitious Asiatic knives), it's D-shaped: the pitch of the D fits into the segment of your fingers as you hairpin the wound. But here again, Avoid notes that the interact is premeditated with a jock grip luggage in intent. If you're not maintaining correct configuration, your mileage may diverge.

Left-handed? A notation nearly Shun's handles. The trade-off for the Shun's visible elegance is that the wound also requires provident reparation. The palm, for example, is made of a wood/plastic composite that's statesman frail than the polymer or Fibrox of picks equal the Wusthof and Victorinox. Brownstein noted that too overmuch facility exposure would be bad for it; you'll require to dry both injure and handle thoroughly after use.

The stab is also Damascus-clad: The brand is prefab of steel, then glazed with an satellite layer of Damascus steel. The end ensue is a gorgeous swirled ornament on the steel, but Critic doesn't equivalent Damascus-clad knives. While Damascus on its own is quite rugged, when it's exclusive an outermost sheet, the injure render is writer potential to breakage. In fact, Shun's website includes this warning in their FAQ: "Chips can chance due to improper knifelike model. Shun Tableware is fashioned to be used in a unfurrowed, slicing motion-and never in a telling, up-and-down 'chopping' fashion."

But if you lord the tract model, your Shun can order salt for a semipermanent indication. "My competition marque of wound is Shun," Resnick told us. "Their Western-style Nipponese knives can go ages without sharpening, flatbottomed with grave use."

Top Official Stab Victorinox Fibrox 8-Inch Chef's Injure Inexpensive, and offers a substantial execution. Buy on Amazon

The Victorinox is an fantabulous option for group who poorness to move cooking regularly but aren't yet set to clothe a lot of money, message a jelled show for around $45.

It's a European-style stab, meaning the blade is both wider and slightly thicker than the Japanese-style MAC and Shun. It exclusive weighs 6.6 ounces (lighter than both our top picks), but the steel measures 2 inches crosswise at its widest fix. It also didn't perceive quite as mobile as the Shun or the MAC. One asker noted that she "didn't equal the colossal manipulate for unkind shrimpy things," though it was "majuscule for humongous things" same squash.

The Victorinox's appendage was its most arguable article. Prefabricated of Fibrox, with a slightly textured copy, it offers a no-slip traction regularise if your keeping are wet. Our fingers matte undeniably unhazardous. But the touch also mat bulky to whatever testers, with several fill noting the stuff seemed "cheap" or "inferior." One asker yet told us, "each example I use it, it's statesman comforted. But it feels tinny, so I hump a lineament interrupt there."

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Everyone asks me the same question about spending 4 days with Tony Robbins — here's what I tell them

Graham Flanagan/Business Insider

I interviewed and shadowed Tony Robbins over four days at his Fiji resort Namale.

For the last three decades, Robbins has been the premiere "performance coach," building a business empire and coaching clients like Paul Tudor Jones and Bill Clinton.

Robbins can be a polarizing figure, but I found him to be a genuine person with practical insights, not hollow positive thinking.

When I tell people that I spent four days with Tony Robbins, they always ask a version of the same question: "What is he really like?"

This can be asked with skepticism: "I remember his infomercials. He's just a con artist selling motivational speeches to desperate people, right?" Or they can be asked with reverence: "His lessons changed my life. Is he as inspirational in person? What did he teach you?"

I recently had the chance to travel to Robbins' Fiji resort Namale, where he was hosting the winners of Shopify's Build a Bigger Business competition, to form an opinion.

Robbins, who determined that his presentation and mentoring style was captured by a job he deemed "performance coach" at some point in the '80s, has been at it for almost 40 years now. In that time he's sold millions of books and audio tapes, and given thousands of presentations to packed crowds. He's coached people like Salesforce founder Marc Benioff, tennis champion Serena Williams, and even former US President Bill Clinton.

Robbins is as relevant today, having developed a massive online audiencee of fans who eat up articles and videos about his lessons.

It's hard to not have some sort of opinion of him at this point. Perhaps the reason why people can feel so strongly either way about him is because no one else really does what he does, and so it's hard to put him into a context where he's not just fitting an exaggerated archetype, for better or worse.

Before I first spoke Robbins during his 2014 book tour for his personal finance guide, "Money: Master the Game," I was unsure of what to expect.

As a little kid in the '90s, my dad would occasionally play Robbins' tapes in the car, and I remembered Robbins' deep, raspy voice more than the actual material. At one point, my dad asked our family to take a sort of personality test assessment from Robbins' website, and I objected on the grounds that it was all nonsense. This guy was monetizing meaningless motivation, I thought.

But about two decades later, I decided differently.

Tony Robbins genuinely wants to help.

When I met Robbins, I got a first impression that was confirmed over several more interviews and finally developed further during the Fiji trip: He's an incredible communicator with a magnetic personality and a genuine desire to help people. And rather than acting as a huckster, he's a shrewd businessman who knows how to develop products for both the masses and the wealthy. On top of that, he's invested in and assists 30 companies, directly running 12 of them — one of his latest projects outside of his coaching career is developing the upcoming Major League Soccer franchise in Los Angeles, LAFC.

I noted how practical his coaching approach is when seen in person. I'll admit that when I watched Joe Berlinger's 2016 Netflix documentary "I Am Not Your Guru," which followed one of Robbins' "Date with Destiny" multiday seminars, I felt that some of the interactions between Robbins and audience members seemed cult-like. Here was a god who appeared onstage to instantly solve the romantic, career, and spiritual problems of his enraptured followers.

But when such a long event is cut down to a narrative of just the dramatic scenes, it can take away some of the nuance of how Robbins connects with people. After spending four days hanging out with Robbins, talking about his career, observing coaching sessions he had with entrepreneurs and then discussing them with those entrepreneurs, I saw Robbins in a different light.

He's certainly one of those figures with, as it's been ascribed to the late Apple cofounder Steve Jobs, a "reality distortion field," that can suck you in, but even weeks after the trip, the documentary looked different to me on a second viewing.

The parts that previously looked to me like something out of a megachurch now looked like Robbins having fun with people who were letting loose rather than giving into a cult. Robbins seemed more like a rock star lighting up a crowd of fans than a televangelist preying on a weak audience.

It's this lack of context that can give a wrong impression of what Robbins actually does. For example, there's an old clip floating around YouTube, not from Robbins' official channel, with the title, "Tony Robbins — 30 years of stuttering, cured in 7 minutes!" It's portrayed like a David Blaine trick, and so further confirms extremist biases around Robbins in either direction. It's not worth getting into an investigation of it, but it seems much more likely that Robbins helped this stutterer with a sense of self-worth, and that increased confidence in speech projection could allow for a sort of coping mechanism to the stutter, rather than triggering an instant "cure."

In person, Robbins is quite practical. The heart of the vast majority of the stuff you'll hear him telling crowds or individuals can be found in books about behavioral psychology, leadership, entrepreneurship, and personal finance — his talent is connecting the dots on some of these ideas and relating them to people in an intimate way in a remarkably fast time. He knows how to read people well and speak to them in a way that works best for them.

Take his latest personal finance book, "Unshakeable" — there's no get rich quick scheme or dangerous advice in there. In fact, it's mostly the sort of stuff you could find on Vanguard's website. But with Robbins' energetic, simple way of writing, financial concepts that would make the average reader fall asleep suddenly become enjoyable to read.

Graham Flanagan/Business Insider

Wealthy, successful people pay him for his pragmatism.

He even takes this approach with his small batch of personal clients, which includes the billionaire investor Paul Tudor Jones, who pays him a $1 million annual fee and a performance fee tied to that year's profits. Jones hired Robbins back in 1993, when Jones had hit a rough patch after becoming famous on Wall Street for correctly predicting the 1987 stock market crash.

Robbins studied all aspects of Jones' behavior and decision-making, comparing how he behaved during upturns with how he behaved during downturns. "I uncovered for Paul Tudor what he was doing at his best," Robbins told Business Insider last year. "I got to interview all the people around him," Robbins said. "I watched films. There were patterns that Paul Tudor was doing when he was at his very best, and he had dropped them out."

Jones began making money again, and was convinced that Robbins had a big enough role in that turnaround that he kept kept him as his coach. The two have checked in every day since then.

"The amazing thing about Tony is how he can deconstruct what drives certain behaviors and help you develop a plan for action with carefully-considered risk and reward propositions," Jones wrote to me in an email.

Jones introduced Robbins to Ray Dalio, founder of Bridgewater Associates, the world's largest hedge fund. Dalio agreed to be interviewed for Robbins' first personal finance book. "He shocked me in his level of understanding because he had researched me and he had researched the investment area so well and he was so conceptual that the quality of his understanding was shockingly great, and the interview was very good," Dalio told me. Dalio became friends with Robbins after that interview, and flew to Robbins' Florida home to launch his book "Principles: Life and Work" with a Facebook Live interview in September.

Salesforce founder and CEO Marc Benioff often credits much of his success to studying Robbins' lessons from a young age, and he both meets with Robbins on a personal basis and regularly invites him to Salesforce's annual Dreamforce conference.

There's a reason he's been able to inspire people for nearly 40 years.

A ticket to Robbins' three-and-a-half-day event "Unleash the Power Within" goes for $650 to $3,000, but he offers scholarships through his foundation (which, on a separate note has a 93.48 rating from the charity watchdog Charity Navigator), and unsatisfied customers can receive refunds for many of his products and programs. And aside from a paperback edition of his book, there's plenty of free material from him on the internet. My initial cynicism around his pricing has essentially changed to my belief that he knows his audience and knows how to maintain a massive business around himself.

Robbins isn't a therapist or a business consultant, but he's also a bit of both — combined with a football coach.

Marie Forleo, MarieTV founder and Oprah Winfrey collaborator, has worked with Robbins and said that he doesn't replace either, but is rather his own thing, and a valuable resource at that. "What Tony offers is something utterly unique that frankly, I've never been able to get from any therapist or consultant I’ve worked with," she told me. "And I've worked with a lot."

Billy Beck IIIIf the idea of going to a self-improvement seminar or reading a book with a title like "Awaken the Giant Within" turns you off, then what Robbins' does probably isn't for you. But after interviewing him several times over the course of three years and shadowing him for four days, I'm convinced that while Robbins definitely isn't for everyone, he's a sincere guy who truly lives what he preaches, and shows no signs of slowing down.

On our last day in Fiji, my colleague Graham Flanagan and I went to Robbins' private residence to grab some last minute footage. We hoped to stretch our promised 10 minutes to 15. Instead, as his team loaded up cars in preparation for their upcoming flight to Australia, he had his personal trainer (and friend) Billy Beck III grab an SUV and take us on a trip to "the waterfall."

As his team anxiously waited for us back at the house so as not to throw his schedule totally out of wack, Robbins took us on a tour of his favorite parts of his property, culminating at a beautiful waterfall. To our surprise, he dove in, pulled his shirt off, and, catching the camera, gave a Tarzan-like yell as the water crashed on him. Then it was my turn to jump in and try.

We drove back down the hill to his house, talking about the recurring coaching techniques he's built into a "tool box" over the years. Along the way, he chatted with some of the resort's workers and sipped from a coconut one gave him. Back at the residence, a collection of about 20 members of staff sang a traditional Fijian farewell song to Robbins before he left, which is what they do every time he leaves. Tears filled his eyes as he sang along.

Tony Robbins is a larger-than-life figure with plenty of quirks, but the person you're seeing is really him. You're either along for the ride or you're not.

NOW WATCH: Tony Robbins takes us on a private tour of his massive beachfront mansion in Fiji

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5 Powerful Insights an Instagram Tracker Should Reveal to Your Brand

While Instagram might have felt like uncharted territory in the past, the platform represents major possibilities for marketers today.

The numbers don’t lie. According to recent Instagram statistics, brands are hopping on board en masse as the platform approaches 1 billion users.

Meanwhile, approximately 80% of Instagram users regularly follow and engage with their favorite brands who are seeing more revenue than ever as a result.

However, a major struggle for brands on Instagram has been a lack of in-depth analytics and tracking tools versus the likes of Facebook or Twitter. Growing and scaling is nearly impossible on any social platform without understanding your presence by the numbers, right?

Thankfully, times have changed.

Having an Instagram tracker on deck (such as Sprout’s very own) can clue your brand in on some major insights that could potentially transform your social presence. Whether you’re looking for more followers, engagement or revenue, the importance of investing in analytics for Instagram can’t be understated.

But what exactly can you learn from an Instagram tracker? What burning questions should your analytics answer?

We’re so glad you asked. Here are five insights you can gain from an Instagram tracker:

1. Which Hashtags Should I Focus On?

Brands that understand how to use hashtags receive more love from their followers, plain and simple. That said, there’s a lot of room for error and improvement when leveraging hashtags for any given brand.

Think about it. Your hashtags are ultimately what make your posts searchable and crucial for drawing in new followers. Check out how Canva uses hashtags akin to keywords without coming off as spammy or salesy:

It's the weekend! Don't forget to treat yourself! 🍦Inspo and Photo by @blarejune.♥️

A post shared by Canva (@canva) on Aug 26, 2017 at 1:38pm PDT

Furthermore, branded hashtags are essential for keeping track of your marketing campaigns. Considering that 7 out of 10 hashtags are branded, creating your own hashtag is also an expectation of modern marketers.

Here’s how Photoshop uses their #PS_Summertime tag to help curate user-generated content for their feed:

Get lost in the curl with this #Ps_Summertime piece by @molham.haidar.

A post shared by Adobe Photoshop (@photoshop) on Aug 31, 2017 at 9:50am PDT

It also pays to uncover new hashtags relevant to your audience and brand beyond your own. Community hashtags such as #motivationmonday and #workoutwednesday can help expose your brand to fresh faces who otherwise might not interact with you. Here’s a prime example from the official English Premier League Instagram using the #throwbackthursday tag:

Since netting against Liverpool in 2012, @10aguerosergiokun has scored in all five #pl matches he's played against the Reds at Etihad Stadium . #tbt #throwbackthursday #premierleague #aguero #mcfc @mancity

A post shared by Premier League (@premierleague) on Sep 7, 2017 at 5:44am PDT

Plenty of variety, right?

Whether you’re trying to figure out which hashtags to use or how often to use them, an Instagram tracker eliminates the guesswork. For example, Sprout can inform users at a glance which hashtags are receiving the most love from your audience.

From determining which types of tags resonate most with your followers to avoiding using the same tags again and again, an Instagram tracker keeps you from playing guessing games. In other words, you always know which hashtags to use based on your business’ data.

2. What the Perfect Time for My Brand to Post?

Time is everything when it comes to social media. This rings true when determining what time of day to post and how many unique photos you should push per day too.

Perfect timing is a two-way street, though.

Posting infrequently means fewer opportunities to engage your followers and bring in new ones. On the flip side, posting too often could label you as a spammer. Finding that sweet spot in terms of frequency means understanding the best practices of your industry and the best times to post on Instagram, respectively.

Many major brands do well with just one carefully-crafted post per day, still receiving plenty of “Likes” and comments. For example, daily posts are commons for ecommerce brands like ThinkGeek who consistently push products and deals to their followers:

From Hoth to hearth. Star Wars Wampa Cave Snow Globe

A post shared by ThinkGeek (@thinkgeek) on Sep 6, 2017 at 1:23pm PDT

However, some brands and industries such as beauty and fashion regularly post three times or more per day. Brands like Victoria’s Secret and H&M, who are among the most popular brands on Instagram, are notorious for this:

We're halfway through the week. Here's a great outfit to wear during the weekend! #HM❤️

A post shared by H&M (@hm) on Sep 5, 2017 at 11:03pm PDT

Posting less frequently is fair game depending on your goals. Larger brands like Arby’s who are known for their humorous and creative posts obviously put a lot of work into their content. As such, their hungry followers don’t mind waiting:

Seat belts, everyone!

A post shared by Arby's (@arbys) on Sep 5, 2017 at 9:02am PDT

But what does “ideal” timing and frequency look like for you?

With the help of an Instagram tracker, you can experiment yourself and see what times your posts typically garner the most engagement. Furthermore, Sprout’s Instagram scheduling better ensures you can stick to a timing schedule without sweating about being glued to Instagram 24/7.

3. Which Types of Posts Are the Most Popular?

In terms of the types of content you can publish on Instagram, there’s often much more than meets the eye.

Literally.

While Instagram might be viewed as little more than a place to post memes or snapshots of cocktails, it’s a prime platform for promotional content. In fact, Instagram users spend the most on products purchased through the platform versus any of the other major social site.

Of course you can’t just go blasting product photos and expect traction. Brands are expected to diversify their content accordingly. With the help of an Instagram tracker, brands can hone in on the exact promotional posts that win over followers. At the same time, you can phase out non-performing post types and only focus on what’s driving your engagement upward.

For example, user-generated content is absolutely crushing it right now as regrams are among the most popular types of posts on Instagram.

Not only do such posts show off your followers, but they also provide opportunities to let your fans promote your products and brands on your behalf. oVertone’s feed is almost exclusively UGC as fans are constantly willing to submit their own photos and leave positive feedback on those same posts:

@gscarolinelbr: "Custom hair painting by Caroline (pre-lighten) and incredible pastel pink conditioner by #overtone."

A post shared by oVertone (@overtonecolor) on Sep 6, 2017 at 6:57pm PDT

Analytics are key to effective UGC campaigns as you determine who your brand evangelists are, what types of posts get people talking and what products are most popular on Instagram. The same rules apply to other types of content including text-based posts, contest posts, videos and everything between.

With the help of an Instagram tracker, you can even assess often-overlooked aspects of your posts such as captions. For example, popular Instagram pages such as that of Humans of New York boast huge numbers with long-form, storytelling captions and no hashtags. Not exactly conventional, but clearly effective for their unique brand:

“My English is not good. Spoken English is very difficult. But I want to study at Columbia so I am trying to improve. I decided to come to America because of Forrest Gump. I’ve watched the movie five times. I like Forrest very much. Forrest is very simple. He picks one thing, and he keeps going. When I was young, I thought Forrest was stupid. But now I have a different view. I think people are too complicated. They complain about everything. Forrest never complains. Forrest chooses one thing and he keeps going. I watched the movie last month to encourage me. My life is hard because people don’t ever know what I’m saying. But I just think of Forrest. Forrest figured everything out because he just kept going.”

A post shared by Humans of New York (@humansofny) on Jun 16, 2017 at 11:47am PDT

Again, the possibilities on Instagram are seemingly endless. That’s why keeping stock of your content is so important. While hashtags and frequency are easier to break down by the numbers, the type of content you post requires a strong sense of awareness.

Maybe over time you learn that your followers are in love with selfies. Perhaps you text-based motivational content gets the most “likes.” Either way, an Instagram tracker can paint a clearer picture of what’s performing and what’s not by tagging your campaigns and tracking them accordingly.

4. What Do My Followers (& Competitors) Actually Look Like?

Ask yourself: how well do you really know your Instagram followers? What about competing brands in your space?

When you’re running multiple social platforms, keeping track of your followers and competitors alike can feel like an uphill battle. With an Instagram tracker and keen attention to your Instagram analytics, the task becomes much, much easier.

Important variables to note when considering your content and tone on Instagram include:

The demographics of your followers (age, gender, geolocation)

Where your followers are coming from (your website, email list or other social sites)

How often your followers engage with your content (and what they’re saying when they do)

For starters, don’t assume that your followers on Facebook or Twitter are the same as your followers on Instagram. After all, you don’t want to simply repeat the same posts over and over across all of your social platforms, right? That’s why having content tailored exclusively for Instagram is always a plus.

Also, users on Instagram tend to skew younger and female according to demographics data, which might, therefore, influence what sorts of content you push to the platform.

And finally: what about your competition?

Although chasing your competition’s follower count shouldn’t be a total rat race, it does help to understand where your numbers stack up against each other. An Instagram tracker can help you keep an eye on competing accounts without totally obsessing over them.

Sprout’s Instagram competitors report allows you to “spy” on what the competition is doing, and identify potential opportunities for your own brand.

5. How Are People Engaging With Your Posts?

Last but not least, with engagement being one of the key pieces to Instagram’s algorithm, you need to track comments and likes. The more often people engage with your content, the more likely you’ll be to pop up in their feeds.

But don’t just stop there. Make sure you’re taking the time to reply to any comments you receive. According to one of our surveys, 15% of consumers will unfollow a brand if they fail to reply to their messages.

In order to avoid losing followers due to unresponsiveness, use Sprout to reply to Instagram comments on desktop or our mobile app.

One of the biggest advantages to using Sprout to track Instagram comments versus replying directly on Instagram is you have all of your comments in a single stream. On Instagram, incoming comments are mixed in with all your other notifications like new followers or likes. And Instagram only shows your 75 latest notifications. So if you get a lot of likes and new followers, you can easily miss new comments, especially on older posts.

With Sprout, you can filter engagement to just show all your comments.

Then you can reply directly within our app and mark messages as complete so everyone on your team knows they’ve been responded to.

Are You Using an Instagram Tracker to Fine-Tune Your Social Presence?

Even though the platform is still relatively young, your Instagram presence shouldn’t be covered in question marks.

Long gone are the days where marketers can treat Instagram as a sort of “great unknown.” Through analytics tools and monitoring metrics, we can better glean what types of content encourages new followers, when to post it and how often to push out new content.

If you aren’t using an Instagram tracker, there’s a good chance you’re flying blind in terms of your social presence. Instead, take control and fine-tune your posts based on data versus guessing. Start by signing up for a free trial of Sprout to experience how beneficial an Instagram tracking tool can be for your brand.

For those of you who’ve been sleeping on Instagram analytics, what’s been holding you back? What’s your biggest struggle when it comes to locking down your Instagram presence? Let us know in the comments below.

This post 5 Powerful Insights an Instagram Tracker Should Reveal to Your Brand originally appeared on Sprout Social.

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The salt-and-pepper pound: where are all the fiftysomething models? | Fashion

When I first started blogging as That’s Not My Age nine years ago, I was always banging on about the lack of older models, my Grey-dar permanently on high alert. But whereas in the past, the older model was restricted to a healthcare or life insurance gig (cue woman strolling jauntily down the beach in a lilac waterfall cardigan and stretch chinos), now nearly every week there’s another gorgeous silver-haired model in an advertisement for a fashion brand. While this age-appreciation is fantastic – it is wonderful to see women such as Daphne Selfe, 88, Maye Musk, 69, and Lauren Hutton, 73, looking vivacious and stunning, I still can’t help wondering: where have all the fiftysomething models gone?

Maye Musk (69) at the CFDA Fashion Awards, New York, this month. Photograph: Neil Rasmus/BFA/REX/Shutterstock

Although the fashion industry has finally woken up to the power of the Silver Spend (in the UK, the 50+ customer accounts for 47% of consumer spending), advertisers appear to have resorted to a kind of “diversity checklist”. Model with grey hair: tick. That’s age sorted then. But the view of the older woman we’re being shown is signified by someone in her 60s, 70s, or beyond. It’s lazy; it creates an age gap and we still end up with extremes. Young and sexy or old and fetishised – take your pick.

“When it comes to advertising to older people, age myopia really kicks in,” says Kevin Lavery, a marketing and advertising specialist for the 50+ cohort and vice-chairman of the Mature Marketing Association (MMA). “Either that or the creative director reaches straight for the blue-rinsed grannies from central casting.” We’ve moved on from invisibility to stereotype, and this lack of diversity makes age feel like just another fashion fad.

“It does feel tokenistic,” confirms Rebecca Valentine, the founder of Grey Model Agency. “When my fiftysomething models go for castings, we often get reports back that they look too young.” We’re missing out on mid-lifers, which is a shame given that Valentine’s roster includes attention-grabbing women such as: Sara Stockbridge, 51, the former Vivienne Westwood model and i-D magazine cover star; Amanda Cazalet, 52, who famously kissed Madonna in the Justify My Love video and was Jean Paul Gaultier’s muse in the 1980s; and grey-haired, 51-year-old Beverly Clark, who is regularly told that she looks too young to represent her own age group.

73-year-old Benedetta Barzini at Simone Rocha’s autumn/winter 2017 London Fashion Week show. Photograph: Niklas Halle’N/AFP/Getty Images

“Part of the problem is that people who create the ads don’t look like the people who buy the products,” adds Lavery. “The average age of an ad agency account executive or creative is 28. It’s the same in marketing departments and, believe me, a 28-year-old can’t think like a 50-year-old. Unconscious age bias is a proved academic fact.”

Social media has enabled us to look beyond appearance and demographics to lifestyle, personality and psychographics. Like-minded people interact online via style blogs and Instagram, and information relating to their interests and attitudes is essential for marketing departments to consider. “Brands are scared,” continues Valentine, “because they’ve never had to pitch to people who were revolutionary and rebellious in the 1960s and 70s before.” Whether you’ve grown up with rock and roll, or still have that punk attitude, you’re never going to accept lazy stereotypes.

Alek Wek, one of a number of older models to walk Dries Van Noten’s 100th show. Photograph: Swan Gallet/WWD/REX/Shutterstock

What’s needed is more variety, more diversity. Women over-50 come in lots of different shapes, sizes and ethnicities and we want to see images of women who reflect that and look like us. As the online comments I regularly receive on That’s Not My Age demonstrate: “I’m a slightly chubby woman in her very late 50s with short (periodically dyed) dark hair,” says actor Maureen Casey, “I don’t relate to whippet thin women in their 70s with long grey hair any more than I relate to skinny teenage models with long flowing hair. Unfortunately, I feel that the industry is simply creating a new character in its lexicon of acceptable women (the old, long haired thin one).”

“In three years’ time, the 50-plus market will make up more than half the adult population in this country – over 20 million,”says Lavery, “they’re bending the rules, defining the ’new old’ and they hold an estimated 80% of the country’s wealth.” As the last few years have shown, when there’s money involved, things will change. We have seen the resurgence of 1990s supermodels – 43-year-old Amber Valetta on the cover of British Vogue’s May issue, a wonderful array of lates 30s and 40-somethings walked on the catwalk for Dries Van Noten’s 100th show – as well as older models Jan de Villeneuve, 72, and Benedetta Barzini, 73, on the catwalk for Simone Rocha autumn/winter 2017 and Lauren Hutton for Bottega Veneta. Harper’s Bazaar’s latest diversity issue (July 2017) has a beautiful, inspirational fashion shoot featuring ‘women of all sizes, nationalities and ages’. Don’t get me wrong, this is the kind of fashion story I want to see – but there’s a two-year-old, a group of 20-something models and 38-year-old Jade Parfitt and then it jumps to de Villeneuve and Frances Dunscombe, 84 – so there’s that age gap again.

The cover of Harper’s Bazaar’s latest diversity issue, featuring 84-year-old Frances Dunscombe. Photograph: Harpers Bazaar

L’Oreal’s Voluminous Mascara ad (for the American market) earlier this year, featuring Diane Keaton, Debbie Harry, Julianne Moore and models Hari Nef and Soo Joo Park, covered age, ethnicity and gender in a cool way. A more diverse idea of beauty has to feel authentic and relatable – as the trans-model Hari Nef commented in an interview with Business of Fashion: “Just bringing people in and including them is not inclusive in a sustainable way.”

This takes commitment from fashion brands and advertisers, as well as continued pressure from consumers, outside agencies and influencers. “It could take six months it could take two years,” suggests Valentine. “We do need to see more diversity, more wrinkles, more curves, more black models. But so far, so quiet.”

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5 Details to Add to Your 2017 Small Business Marketing Plan

It’s nearly impossible to keep up with new marketing trends these days—much less have the resources and time to build them into your marketing plan and execute on a small business budget.

This year, instead of trying to do it all, choose just a few new things to try, even if they aren’t new in the industry (hello, guest posting). A refresher may be just what your plan needs to boost engagement, impressions and overall marketing success.

Read on for the 5 things you should add to your marketing plan:

Video Marketing Tests

Video marketing is one of the fastest growing areas of the industry, with 65 percent of marketers planning to increase their mobile ad budgets to account for video (Hubspot). This year is a great time to test your video marketing chops and see what excites your specific audience.

There are a variety of video options small businesses can try, regardless of the size of your budget. Here are two to consider:

Social media video: Facebook Live, Instagram Stories and Snapchat all provide your small business with a chance to test video and boost social engagement, without spending any extra money.

Embedded email video: Video in email lead to a 200 to 300 percent increase in click-through rate, as reported by HubSpot. One fun idea: Instead of writing your message, say it in a video—better yet, have your CEO say it.

If you’re able or ready to spend a significant amount of money, also consider drone videography and testing YouTube ads.

A Guest Posting Program

Guest posting gets a bad rep thanks to “spammy” outreach and poor link building practices. However, I’ve now successfully run three guest posting programs and, as I explain in this article for Bitly, it’s actually one of the best ways to get high-quality content for free. If you do it right, you’ll get free blog posts, from experts in the field, on a regular basis.

Not to mention, it’s a great way to get high-quality links back to your website if you choose to write a blog post for them as well. Still, guest posting is only valuable when you follow a few basic, but important, rules:

All websites that guest bloggers want to link to must be high quality. Use traffic, domain authority and/or trust flow, social presence, frequency of posting and more to measure. If your company uses different metrics, consider checking for those as well.

Authors must be experts in some way, whether they’ve written on the topic a number of times for other high-quality sites or are professionals in that field.

Create guidelines to ensure the work that’s coming to you will need as minimal editing as possible. You’ll slowly build a pool of authors who are good writers, passionate about the industry, and can contribute more regularly.

Regular Non-Sales Email Marketing

Email marketing is still one of the best methods for reaching customers and staying front-of-mind. In fact, a shocking 80 percent of marketers said email was their primary channel for lead generation, according to Mailigen.

To keep customers interested, it’s important to send a mix of emails—not just sales-based. One too many sales emails will cause subscribers to lose interest; soon enough, they’ll delete any email from you without reading because they don’t want to hear another sales pitch.

Here are a few new types of emails to send:

Content-based: Send a weekly blog roundup of your posts for the week, or write an article in the email with a link to finish reading on your website or blog.

Video: Most email platforms now allow you to embed video into your emails. Try this with your audience and check the metrics to see if they liked it or not.

Discount or coupon announcement: Email is a great distribution channel for sharing coupons and discounts with customers (see below). Make it exclusive and add a timeframe to boost urgency and effectiveness.

Freebies: Everyone likes a freebie. For example, a free tax resource from a CPA provides value outside the paid interactions between business and customer.

A Coupon Distribution Plan

Coupons, or online discounts, are a great way for small businesses to drive new and recurring customers. In fact, coupons have the potential to increase monthly revenue by up to 40 percent, according to a November 2016 survey by CouponBox. Surveyed retailers reported earning $29,435 in monthly coupon sales.

However, if you don’t distribute your coupons and announcements about discounts well enough, they won’t be effective. What good is a BOGO deal if no one knows about it?

While adding a banner to the top of your website is smart, there’s more you can do to drive coupon-based sales. Here are a few ideas:

Email the coupon to the segment of your audience that you think would be most interested, based on your research and knowledge of the customer. Look at past purchases, demographic data and more to determine who will be in this segment.

Share a “new customer only” deal on your Facebook page and boost the post to be seen by more people.

Create content with your coupon or deal featured prominently. If a specific product is on sale, for example, write a fun or interesting piece about the product, and announce the sale at the top and bottom of the article. Remove the discount or coupon when the sale is over and keep the article as a stand-alone piece of content.  

Drip Email Campaigns

Companies like Hubspot make it easier than ever to set up drip email campaigns. These allow you to stay in touch with every potential and current customer, whether they’ve just signed up to receive announcement emails or purchased a product.

The set-up process is simple: You create a variety of tracks for each type of potential or current client, and set a timed email flow that automatically delivers the correct email based on parameters you’ve selected. For example, a free trial campaign may look like this:

1st email: When they sign up for free trial—“Get ready to be blown away…”

2nd email: Five days into the trial—“How are you liking it so far? Did you know you can use this feature…?”

3rd email: 20 days into the trial—“Don’t forget, your trial is up in just 10 short days…”

4th email: One day before trial ends—“We don’t want you to go, for just $20/month you can have…”

Expand your marketing plan in 2017

Whether you’re interested in video marketing or plan to expand your email marketing portfolio, 2017 is the year to do it. Ever year it gets increasingly harder to stand out among a crowded group of competitors, especially with small business budget and resource constraints, but being forward-thinking with marketing is the one of the best ways to set yourself apart from the rest.

The post 5 Details to Add to Your 2017 Small Business Marketing Plan appeared first on The Contactually Blog | For Relationship-Based Businesses.

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[perfectitservicesindia]

How it is possible to cut your sites bounce rate down?

If that’s right, then consider yourself fortunate because I’m going showing you 7 simple steps to repairing your bounce rate that is large. These steps will also assist to Top Digital Marketing Companies that how they can reduce to client’s website bounce rate.

You only have to be sure put a walk to catch a chair, curl up, and pay interest.

1. Enhance Your Website Readability

I hate to be the one to break this information for you, but believe me, your website’s articles likely seems bad on the eyes. I’m thinking you aren't creating for yourself (i.e. you may be creating to get a readers to do this). Therefore if my supposition is correct, please try – that is difficult extremely difficult

Individuals don’t enjoy reading lengthy articles which aren't well-prepared. The typical web user needs to check by means of a post. They don’t need to study lots of text that is cluttered. Therefore, in your very best interest, make sure you structure your articles the way your visitors might need it.

You should make certain to keep my sentences and paragraphs brief – as many as four (4) outlines per paragraphs is usually okay.

2. Utilize Imaginative and Eye-catching Info graphics

Info graphics are a very good approach to get visible, and indulge your audience in real time.

Exactly what are info-graphics?

An info-graphic is a visible picture (such as a graph or plan) employed to signify information or info.In accordance with Google, An info-graphic that is great is worth one thousand words.”

Info-graphics certainly are a composite of brief texts backed up with pictures that are useful to communicate an idea or a notion that the audience may easily connect with. They may be fast and to the stage in evaluation to blogs that are extended like this one.

Curiously, more than 80% of web entrepreneurs use info-graphics as an interactive means of achieving their market and acquiring them to take activities that are desired. This ensures your likelihood of having a result that is good from this method is rather small.

Nevertheless, this truth will be begin to turned by you approximately if you’re capable to inform an excellent story and get subscribers employed. The point that is nice is the fact that in the event that you are doing this the manner that is correct, you will make sure you express good-bye to your rebound price that is higher.

3. Take Your Blog Message’s Structure to an Entirely Fresh Level

Right prepared articles may nearly immediately get you more perspectives and visitors that are dedicated. Just what exactly did I do to get this kind of substantial number of achievement to get a site that is new?

Nicely, it’s straightforward.

Such content makes your projects attractive, also it encourages the ordinary readers to hang in there to use up your articles, regardless how much time it's.

Your’s articles that is site is good-prepared when the news and subheadings have been in bold letterings. You have to show how you would like your audience to use up your articles. Don't forget, they've been in your weblog to follow as you state, your guide – they'll do.

Generally, bullet-points are also a great point to observe while planning weblog posts. It allows you to get an audience without becoming bored from product phrases to read through significant factors rapidly.

For a standard articles structure that is excellent, you should take into account using lots of pictures, screen shots, and mind-blowing quotations. They work-like wonder in keeping your website viewers, which then can help you lower your’s jump fee that is site.

4 Allow It to Be Simple On Your Visitors to Talk About Your Content

Web users, particularly the types that twitter that is regular, love revealing articles online.

This is known by me since I invest lots of time-on Face Book and Facebook studying standings and tweets. And after I fall onto the one that moves me from circumstances of apathy or a post which gets me excited, I don’t wait hitting on the re-tweet or share option.

People might share your things if it's fascinating, but you’ve got to supply a simple means to accomplish that to them. Fortunately, there are lots of plug-ins on the wp plug in listing as you are able to immediately control to assist you attain this.

In the event you do this properly, additionally, you will get an opportunity at becoming a star marketer developing your Facebook subsequent, and obtaining much mo-Re blog readers have as well as in the future your good-cooked content.

5. Utilize Your Content To Be Aided by Singing Pictures

A picture speaks one thousand phrases.

Look, if you should be likely to get your web log crowd to hang in there, have your posts, not to mention, reduce your ’s bounce rate, you are going to need to take into account using plenty of pictures that are impressive to help your text.

In the event you assess a few of the most truly effective websites in your specialty, you’ll understand they regularly utilize plenty of screen shots and interactive pictures that further clarify the thoughts where they're striving to convey with their audience.

To also get the exact same effect, you should need to both go browsing of some pictures that are singing or generate to assist your articles glow in the site-o-world.

Carrying this out may certainly consider your bounce rate manner, way down.

6. Compose More Educational Content

Lengthy articles are loved by Google. The truth is, this can be among the most linked analytics in determining how beneficial and of good use the articles is (i.e. becoming ranked higher).

Long kind Contents

Web log posts, assisted with movies quality pictures, and tests, assist them assemble a faithful pursuing of individuals who wind up spending to really have a replica of instructional videos or their publications.

Articles that are extended, however, do benefit all. But attempting it several times in your site wouldn’t be a poor notion. The truth is, in the event that you make it entertaining, and exceptionally enlightening, teaching, you might make sure to become an authority in your market.

Reward Stage: Ask Question

At the conclusion of every post, ask your visitors some inquiries and allow them to supply their responses in the remarks area of the content. Believe me; this operates excellent when it comes to having participation. Best Digital Marketing Service providers should grab these tips to make their work much best and effective.

Observe me do it. I do around ruse with opinions. Actually, my readers are taken by me’ opinions more critically than I do with my whole post!

Professionally, this notion continues to be the main factor for me personally to create better and better articles every week to assist my site market that is faithful.

[unixcommerce]

What is Instragram Threads And How Can It Help Your Business?

Back in 2017, Instagram released and then subsequently shut down a private messaging app called Direct.

The app was aimed to rival Snapchat, much like Instagram’s “Stories” feature.

The app shut down came after a couple months with few international downloads, and all messages sent on it were transferred back to Instagram’s in-app direct messaging feature.

Now, a year later, Instagram is back at it, developing a new private messaging app called Threads.

The app is reportedly in its internal testing stage.

Instagram Threads App

Here’s what businesses need to know about the opportunity of a separate Instagram messaging app.

What’s Different About Threads?

Threads is essentially an amped-up version of the current Instagram private messaging feature, intended to focus more on establishing and nurturing in-private connections between groups of friends.

Like the current Instagram private messaging feature, you will be able to see which of your friends are online, talk one on one or in small groups, take and send pictures directly, and view stories.

But Instagram has also added a couple new features which seem very similar to Snapchat’s Snap Map feature.

In Threads, the user can opt-in to automatic sharing, which allows the app to regularly update your status, alerting your friends to where you are or if you’re on the move.

The idea behind this would be to make planning easier between friends and keep you in touch even when you’re not actively in contact.

The user can also post manual updates if they choose.

Private Messaging Is the Future

Private messaging is the next big thing in digital communication.

At this year’s F8 conference, Mark Zuckerberg made a statement in his keynote address, saying:

“It’s no surprise that the fastest growing ways we’re communicating online are private messaging, and in small groups and stories. A private social platform can start to become the center of your social experience. That’s why I believe that the future is private. This is the next chapter for our services.”

Facebook has had a separate messaging app for nearly a decade now, and Instagram considers the DM feature on the app to be so strong that they have considered spinning out a separate app twice in the last year.

Privacy has become a high-profile issue, especially for brands like Facebook. More people are inclined to interact privately, making private messaging a more in-demand feature in apps.

In fact, messaging is the preferred method of communication.

According to research by Business Insider Intelligence, for both personal and business purposes, people in general prefer messaging to social media.

Messaging apps are now bigger than social media apps, and it looks like they’re going to continue to improve.

In addition to the fact that users prefer to privately message each other to have personal conversations, private messaging is also highly useful to brands that utilize social media platforms to reach their audiences.

Why Should Businesses Take Advantage of Threads?

Because messaging apps have surpassed social media apps in use and popularity, businesses should be taking advantage of them.

It’s important for businesses and brands to meet people where they are — 80% of Instagram users already voluntarily follow a business.

That’s an opportunity that can’t be passed up.

So why should businesses focus on Threads specifically?

Instagram, as an app, has the highest levels of engagement of all social media platforms. It’s easy to use and accessible.

With the rise in popularity of private messaging, businesses should expect Threads to perform well.

Instagram’s high levels of user engagement have proven to be very good for business.

People engage with brands on Instagram 10 times more than they do on Facebook.

And it’s even more for other social media platforms! Brand engagement on Instagram is 54X more than on Pinterest and 84X more than on Twitter.

The Critical Business Move is Private Messaging

Businesses grow the most when they are able to engage with potential clients and convert them into lasting customers.

The proven engagement on Instagram is a great stepping stone for businesses to take advantage of.

In addition, the proven popularity of private messaging apps should be a sign to businesses that combining the two — the most engaged users and the most loved form of communication – would be a gold mine for business.

Some businesses, including Facebook, the most profitable social media platform in the world — are already planning to invest resources into making the move to being more focused on private messaging.

In fact, we’re hoping to see all the Facebook messaging apps tied together next year.

This wouldn’t mean an all-in-one private messaging app, however.

While the apps –Facebook Messenger, Instagram, and WhatsApp — would remain separate, their base technical foundation would be unified.

This means that the 2.6 billion people that use each of these apps would be able to communicate with each other across platforms.

Mark Zuckerberg‘s desire to integrate the technical foundation of these apps lies, particularly, in privacy.

A distinct feature of this integration will be the end-to-end encryption, ensuring that the only people who can view private messages are the ones sharing them.

It seems that Instagram’s in-production private message app may be an early step in the direction of this integration.

Republished by permission. Original here.

Image: Depositphotos.com

This article, “What is Instragram Threads And How Can It Help Your Business?” was first published on Small Business Trends

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The post What is Instragram Threads And How Can It Help Your Business? appeared first on Unix Commerce.

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