#consciously uncoupled Jily

[nyxunderwood]

Check out the new chapter of Shooting Stars, Falling Objects, my new James/Sirius AU set five years after Sirius 'died' in a Death Eater attack just before graduating Hogwarts. This chapter features protective James Potter, Sirius and Harry meeting for the first time, and a hefty serving of angst with a side of pining.

Flashback snippet

“I know it feels impossible, Jamie,” Monty said gently, wrapping his arm around him. “But you’re allowed to be happy. It’s not a betrayal.”

James’ breath hitched, and he leaned into his father’s side like he had when he was a boy. “Then why does it feel like this?”

“Grief is the price we pay for love.”

James pressed the heels of his palms to his eyes, dislodging his glasses, trying to hold himself together. “I’m not sure love is worth it.”

Monty’s arm tightened around his shoulders. “Love is what makes life worth living. And I shouldn’t have to tell that to someone who's about to get married.”

James stiffened. He knew his parents thought he was rushing things. The news of Lily’s pregnancy had tempered their opinions, but he could still sense their quiet worry. They had been worrying about him at all sorts of volumes ever since that night.

“I love Lily,” James said, finally lifting his gaze to meet Monty’s.

“I know you do.” Monty’s expression was calm, kind.

“It hasn’t been easy for her,” James admitted. “I haven’t been easy to be around.”

Monty exhaled, his concern evident. “You shouldn’t marry someone because you feel like you owe them.”

“That’s not what I meant,” James replied quickly, gripping the pillow tighter.

“I’m not trying to give you a hard time,” Monty said, his voice placating. “I just want to make sure this – the wedding – is really what you want.”

James’ eyes darted around the room, searching for some tangible proof to convince his father that he was making the right choice. His gaze fell on Sirius' sketchbook resting on the bedside table. All he wanted was to lie down on the bed and drown in the memories preserved within its pages. But he knew, with a bone-deep certainty, that if he gave in to that urge, he might never get up again.

He turned back to Monty. “I want to move forward,” James said, his voice unexpectedly steady. “I need to.”

Check out the full chapter on AO3.