#connie converse you will always be famous

[missgreezy]

Connie Converse, 1946

[wonwoosthetic]

Hello, can you do something for Javier Pena? Like with a fellow DEA agent and partner, and he's soft for them (not that soft cause that'll not be him anymore, but he helps them more and follows them on missions a lot). and like he and murphy talks about how much his "ways" had changed after meeting and getting together with her, and yesh like fluff fluff and fluff makeout cause I loved that in that one joel fic

Rugged and Soft

warnings – mentions of drugs and police stuff, but this is so freaking fluffy, mentions of sexy times towards the end but nothing explicit

word count – 11.3k (istg this always happens)

a/n: aaaaaaaaahhhh thank you soooo much for requesting this!!! I LOVED writing this so much😫😫 istg I’m in love with him and I hope I did the character justice ˙ᵕ˙ you’re absolutely right, too soft wouldn’t be him anymore but I still think he'd just adore his partner so much, so they'd get to see a different side of him, so I hope you liked what I came up with🫶🏼

requests – open ˙ᵕ˙

Javier and Steve were enjoying their last drops of alcohol and final cigarettes for the night on the balcony while you were helping Connie in the kitchen. While the two men were engulfed in a serious conversation about the possible next steps in their plan, Javi's eyes were daring to get fixed on your silhouette any second.

The sudden crying coming from the baby girl the Murphys had recently taken in caught your attention.

"Ah, crap," Connie looked down at her hands covered in water and dish soap, "Could you-" She knew, she didn't even have to ask you twice, you loved that little girl. 

Without hesitating, you nodded, whispering a quick, "Yeah yeah, sure," and rushed out of the room to enter the bedroom where the crib for the baby was. Javier's gaze followed you as you exited, only coming back seconds later with the crying girl in your arms. He watched you gently bouncing up and down, trying to calm her down, petting her head with your delicate fingers as you swiftly moved around the room. 

He could've sworn there was a sudden weird sensation happening in his heart- no, his stomach- no, his brain? God knows where. Something was happening in his body, and he couldn't help it. It almost made him panic not knowing what the fuck was going on with him, but it was quickly interrupted by a slap to his chest by his colleague.

"Eyy," Steve chuckled, "I know that look."

"What?" The Latino scrunched his eyebrows.

The blonde man nodded towards the living room on the other side of the window, where you were now sitting down, the little girl on your lap as you tried to make her laugh.

"You're getting soft, Javi."

Peña scoffed, taking a drag from his cigarette, "You don't even know what the fuck you're talking about, Gringo." But that only made Steve laugh more.

"I know damn well what the fuck I'm talking about." Taking a sip from his beer bottle gave the two men a second of thick silence. "You know, she changed you."

"Maybe," Javier, in his typical way, spoke quietly, using that deep and rusty tone you had fallen in love with - he may have tried to brush off his co-worker's comment, but both men knew there was much more to it.

Because what Steve had said was true. Everyone knew that. At least everyone in the apartment at that time. 

At work, Javier Peña may still be that cold-blooded asshole, who may not have as many 'informants' as a few years ago but still continued using his charm as often as he needed to. He had changed, just no one there knew why. 

But here, in the comfort of the Murphys' place, he was just Javi. A rough man with edges that got softened down, thanks to you. A man who once was a famous womanizer and bachelor in Bogota, now turned devoted boyfriend and partner who kissed the floor you walked on.

That smug grin never left Murphy's face that was starting to annoy Peña. "Don't say maybe. You know, I'm right."

Javier put out the tobacco stick in the little bowl provided, "And even if you are, she probably just changed the worst parts of me that needed changing in the first place."

He received a nod in response. "Wouldn't fight you on that." With one last gulp, Steve finished his beer. "She definitely changed you for the better. I'm just hoping you're not getting too soft now." Making Javier scoff.

As soon as his eyes met yours through the window, he immediately was brought back to all the small moments that had turned him into the man that he was now. Because yes, Steve was right. You definitely did change him for the better.

-

Javier heard you before he saw you. He always did. Those familiar steps of the same shoes you had been wearing to work for the past few years had branded themselves into his brain.

You were making your way to the shared office space of you, Murphy, and Peña when your eyes fell on Javi's back that was turned to the entrance. The full head of brown thick locks you'd recognize from a mile away. 

His attention was fully on the board you had hung up on the wall, pictures of Escobar and his men plastered all around and red string tying in together every single piece of information you had. 

"Good morning," you waltzed up behind him, not expecting him to turn around as he seemed to be somewhere else with his head. That explained your surprise when he mumbled a quiet,

"Mornin'," back to you.

You stopped right next to him, your eyes travelling around the board. "What are you looking at?" You wondered before you caught a mug on his desk from the corner of your eye. With a smile, you walked up to it, picking it into your grip to take a sip - at this point, the three of you had started to make this a casualty.

As soon as the, what you expected to be, hot delicious beverage hit your tongue, you were quick to spit it back into the mug, a groan of disgust echoing through the room.

"Oh my God, what the fuck!" The back of your hand came up to wipe your mouth clean.

Javi turned his head to glance at you and as soon as he saw you holding the mug, he moved forwards to snatch it out of your hands.

"Why the fuck are you drinking that?" He snapped at you, putting it back on the desk.

You still looked at him in shock, "Why are you drinking that?!" A quick look at the clock made you scoff, "Javi, it's 9am."

But he just shrugged, his arms crossing in front of his chest again as he went back to look at the board. "Long night." 

Long night or not, you had never been a fan of Javier's very unhealthy drinking habits. You remembered even seeing him with a whiskey glass on the day you started working for the DEA in Bogota.

With a shake of your head, you moved to his desk, throwing yourself onto his chair before your hands were opening each drawer and cupboard.

Your hasty movements caught Peña's interest. "What are you doing?"

He didn't get an answer from you at first as you waited until you found what you were looking for. You were tired of his drinking at work. Outside of it, he could do whatever he wanted - he was an adult for God's sake. But here, in the DEA's office, at work, you didn't need to have his drunk ass as a co-worker. 

"Blue, what are you looking for?" He got closer to you, the nickname he and Muphy had given you in your first week dropping from his lips easily.

With a relieved sigh, you stood up again, holding up the bottle of whiskey with a proud smile, "Say goodbye to this."

"Hey-" he tried to lean forward, hoping to get a hold of the bottle, but you were quicker than him, moving past him, already on your way out the door of the office.

"What on earth do you think you're doing?" He called after you.

You turned around with a smile, "Pouring this down the drain. You're welcome!"

With a sigh, he lowered his head, shaking it and pinching the bridge of his nose. 

At the same moment, Steve passed you, entering the small room with a frown, "What's she doing?" Directing his question towards Peña as he pointed at your disappearing figure.

"Giving me a fucking headache," Javier commented. His eyes found the mug on his desk again, another groan tumbling from his lips. Now he had to rely on that one cup for the rest of the day.

-

A soft chuckle almost escaped his lips at the memory. 

"She threw my fucking alcohol away." Javier took a sip of his beer. "Only a few months after coming to the office."

Steve grinned, "Thank God. You'd be taking your morning shit with a shot of coffee and five of whiskey if she hadn't done that."

The following day, he remembered as clearly as he possibly could - how could he forget: the day that he felt the world shift. All because of one little word.

-

You basically skipped into the office, three cups of coffee from the shop around the corner of your apartment in your hands. Steve and he were already sitting at their designated desks, watching you and your million-dollar smile as you waltzed into the room.

"Good morning, my dear friends," you beamed at the men, settling everything onto your place, putting down your bag and taking off the jean jacket you had put on.

Steve smiled at you, slightly confused, "What's gotten you in such a good mood?" Not that it was a rarity to see you with a grin decorating your face, but it happened more than any of you would like to admit that any man in that building would ruin your mood early in the morning before you could even make your way into your shared office.

"They're finally open again!" You called out, placing a coffee cup each onto their desks. Javier smiled up at you radiating the positive energy around the room, something he had had to get used to once you started working with them.

"Who?" Murphy continued the conversation.

"The coffee shop! By my apartment. Remember? They were renovating the place, but they're finally done, and I'm getting my daily cup of coffee again."

"You mean liquid sugar?" Javi commented, earning himself a glare from you, almost making him smile. He got up from his seat, the coffee in his hands when he took a sip, interested in what the hell you may have put into his.

"Ugh," he immediately groaned at the taste.

"What?" Your big eyes locked onto his. He couldn't tell you what he really thought of it. He wasn't going to break your heart after you had just almost jumped around the room as you told them about the shop re-opening.

He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Dry."

The sound of your soft chuckle rang through his ear. Had it always sounded so angelic?

"You mean the way you're supposed to drink coffee, honey?" You patted his cheek before turning around to leave the room, on your way to get some files you had been looking for, not knowing you were leaving Javier frozen in place. That was a new nickname. He was used to 'Javi', 'jackass', 'senior' or 'idiot', but 'honey'? That was new.

With confusion written across his face, he huffed out a chunk of air he apparently had been holding, while Steve's eyes were trained on him, an amused smirk playing on his lips.

"What the fuck just happened?" The Latino wondered out loud, not noticing that he was still standing up, still not moving, only entertaining Steve even more.

"What? You've never been called honey before?" He enjoyed teasing the man. It didn't matter in what context. Teasing Javier Peña was always fun, especially when you were involved.

Javi shrugged and shook his head, snapping back into reality. "Not by her."

And that made all the difference.

-

"I'm just saying." Murphy's voice made the other man realise they were still on the balcony and not in the past, even though he would've enjoyed dwelling in the memories a little more. "I see the way you look at her, and we don't need a soft boy in the DEA."

Javier scoffed, throwing his beer down his throat. "Says you, you blonde-haired, blue-eyed bitch."

"But I'm not getting soft."

"And neither am I!" He argued back, making Steve snicker. He knew Javier wasn't actually getting THAT soft, but it was fun riling him up.

The two men let a few moments of silence pass, listening to the mumbles of your and Connie's conversation inside the apartment and hearing the cars drive on the dimly lit streets.

"How long do you think you'll be able to hide it?" Oh, what a good question that was. Of course, Javi knew what his colleague was talking about because he had been wondering the exact same thing. Multiple evenings and nights were spent raking through his thoughts. Was what you were doing even a good idea? How long was this going to last? Was it worth it? 

He didn't even want to admit to some of the questions that had popped into his head as he felt like he shouldn't even be questioning this relationship. But since the two of you shared a workplace, it only seemed right. Right?... 

Two agents were in no way supposed to be romantically involved with each other. For one, it would most definitely be going against HR regulations, and two, you'd be putting yourself and your partner in so much more danger than you or they were already in from practising this job. But it was worth it. God, was it worth it.

Javier had been happier than ever before. Calmer than before - at least when you were around him. But as beautiful and wonderful as this little bubble was that the two of you had been sharing for a good year now, there were a lot of complications you hadn't had to face yet.

The Latino leaned back against the railing of the balcony, putting down the bottle of beer on the little table next to him before lighting up his next, and hopefully last, cigarette.

"Fuck... if I knew. Probably forever."

Steve scoffed and rolled his eyes, "Oh please, you know you won't be able to do that."

With the amount of scrunching of his eyebrows that Javi had been doing all his life, it wouldn't be surprising to see early wrinkles at his yet relatively young age. "The fuck you mean by that?"

"The amount of times you almost got caught? By literally just about anyone in the office beside me? Maybe I'm talking about that." As amusing as it was to Steve, he also understood the seriousness behind the topic. He just wanted the two of you to be safe, and alert of the people around you, because it started happening more and more that either one of you would forget how suspiciously protective you could get of each other - more specifically how protective Javier could get.

"We haven't gotten caught in the past and won't get caught in the future." He simply answered, tapping the ash off the cigarette.

The blonde man crossed his arms in front of his chest, "Maybe. But maybe they'll start looking more into some of your antics," but quickly raised them in defence as soon as he caught the glare on Javi's face. "Just trying to keep you two safe."

"Oh yeah? What antics?"

Steve shrugged parodically, "Oh, I don't know, what about two weeks ago?"

-

The three of you were sitting in Noonan's office, right across from her, all in slightly more formal clothing than you'd usually wear.

You had announced to your partners that you had a lead on one of Escobar's men and wanted to discuss your possible ideas with the female ambassador. Let's just say the talk had turned into a slightly more heated discussion than you had planned. 

"M'am, I understand your concern-"

"Well, I really don't think you do, Miss. Have I not made myself clear before?"

You nodded, continuing the conversation standing up, copying her, while the two men were sitting on each side of you, quietly listening to the two of you. "You have, Ambassador, but this is a real possible lead I have here."

"How do you know that? How do you know you can trust the information you receive?" No one was supposed to know about what you were doing to get your info. You weren't about to rat the other people out. Not to the ambassador, not to anyone.

"I have trustful sources-" A scoff coming from the older woman made you stop. "I-I just need your okay to continue-"

"And you won't get it."

"M'am-"

"Do you want a repetition of what happened in Mexico?!" The sudden raise of the woman made you shut your mouth. But not only that. Her words lingered around the room. A heavy statement. She knew she hit a weak point with that.

You lowered your head and crossed your arms as a defence mechanism while the men exchanged questioning looks.

'What happened?' Javier mouthed to Steve, but only got a headshake in return, so he directed the question to the ambassador.

"Ehm," he cleared his throat. "What... happened in Mexico? If you don't mind me asking, M'am."

The older woman leaned forward, her palms on the table and let her tongue swipe across her teeth.

She scoffed, "They don't know?" Clearly asking you.

After taking a deep breath, you shook your head, "They don't have to know."

The woman raised her voice slightly again, "They're not your co-workers, agent, they're your partners. They should, in fact, know about your lousy decisions in the past!"

"They weren't lousy!" Arguing with her felt like fighting with a parent, but currently, you were only getting scolded and barely listened to. Before she could interrupt you, you continued, now copying her tone, "My decisions were very well thought through! The problem was these stupid CIA agents that didn't know what they were doing, and it wasn't my fault that the Guadalajara were thousand steps ahead of us!"

"And what's gonna be different this time? How do you not know that Escobar isn't already ahead of you right now?"

"Because I have my informants-"

"You're starting to sound like Peña, careful," she warned you with a huff.

You took her change in attitude to take a deep breath, "You can't compare this to Mexico. What happened was completely differ-"

"Can somebody explain what the fuck happened back in Mexico?!" Steve interrupted your argument, losing his last amount of patience for which Javier was very thankful because he was just as curious and just as impatient.

Your eyes fell on the ambassador, but her hand was motioning towards you, not even batting an eye, not even interlocking glances with you. When you didn't respond, she looked at you, seeing your pleading expression, but she shook her head.

"It's not my story to tell."

You gulped. She was right. It was your story. But for another time. "I'll explain it later, this is more important right now."

"No, it's not because I'm not putting you anywhere close to one of Escobar's men."

A heavy chunk of breath fell from your lips as you looked around the room in frustration, ignoring Javier's glare and Steve's awaiting eyes.

"Then send Carrillo with me. You trust him. He can come with me," you proposed, about what the older woman seemed to think about for a second, but that was quickly interrupted by Javi's voice.

"I can go with her."

All three heads shot towards him.

"What?" You mumbled, the ambassador copying your confusion.

"What? No! Peña, don't get me wrong, but I would trust Carrillo more than you with her." As soon as those words left her mouth, you closed your eyes. She shouldn't have said that.

"Excuse me?!" Javier shot up from his seat in rage. The other man quickly followed him, ready to hold him back if anything was about to happen. "She's my partner! Not fucking Carrillo's!" You didn't ignore the possible two meanings behind the word 'partner'. There had always been a slight jealous side to your boyfriend, and unfortunately, you had found out that sometimes he had a slightly harder time containing it.

"Javi-" you tried, but he ignored you.

"I've been working with her for years, and you'd rather send someone from the Search Bloc with her?!"

The woman pointed a strict finger at him, "I suggest you watch your tone, agent." She warned him. "Carrillo has gone on undercover missions before. Successfully. So yes, I would much rather send him than you. Especially now after you just put on a show like that. What's gotten into you?" No one answered that question.

Javi huffed out in annoyance before turning to you, "You trust him more than me?"

That took you back. "W-...What does that have to do with anything?"

"Why did you suggest Carrillo instead of me?!" Now it was his time to raise his voice, earning him an eyebrow raise from the ambassador.

"Javi! It doesn't matter-"

"It fucking matters to me!"

"Guys-" Steve, who was standing behind you, tried to calm you down by placing his hands on your upper arms, but you brushed him off, continuing the fight with your partner.

"He has done things like this before, he'd be able to protect me if needed-"

"I'd be able to protect you if needed! Are you seriously questioning this now?!"

You opened your mouth again, but the loud voice of the older woman immediately shut you down and made you turn towards her.

"Both of you, stop it! Right now!" She took a deep breath. "What on earth is going on with you two?" Everyone stood quietly in front of her. She pointed at you, "Listen. I don't know what is going on in that brain of yours, nor do I understand your ways of picking these men apart psychologically. I understand and respect your devotion, but I won't be risking your life a second time." You opened your mouth, but she quickly motioned for you to be quiet. How fucking old did she think you were? But then again, you could only imagine that you looked like teenagers to her in this scene. "Now." She wiggled her finger between you and Javier. "You two. Clear up whatever the heck is going on between you two. I need you both with a clear head, not with... God, I don't even know. And you." Her eyes went to Steve, "Keep an eye on them. Seems like they're going through puberty again..." The ambassador mumbled the last part, only adding to her already disappointing, yet strict tone.

But you were not about to go down that quickly. "M'am-" you tried, but she had the upper hand once again.

"Out. I have a meeting in five." 

You were gently pushed back by Steve while Javi walked beside you quietly.

The last call out from Noonan stopped you. "And if I find out that you met up with Escobar's man behind my back, I will not hesitate to send you back to the US, just so we're clear." Loud and clear. You didn't respond, but just kept on walking, a clear tension following the three of you out of the room. There was a lot to discuss.

-

Javi shook his head at the memory, putting out his cigarette, "Don't fucking remind me of that." He hated the way he reacted. He hated the fact that it happened in front of Noonan. But most importantly, he hated that you had kept something so significant from him.

After you had gotten back into the office, the interrogation began. You had to spill everything that had happened back in Mexico - back before you joined the DEA in Colombia. And let's just say neither Javi nor Steve was happy after listening to your story of being held hostage by the Guadalajara only days before they killed Kiki as their first target was planned to be you.

He wanted to forget everything you had told them, but he couldn't. As if your job wasn't already dangerous enough as it is, you were actually willing to go the extra mile, risking letting the same thing happen for a second time?! Just thinking about it made his blood boil.

"But I have to remind you of that," Steve stated with a sigh. "Because Noonan asked me about the 'tension' between you two. And why you were so against Carrillo all of a sudden." 

"Fuck me..." Javi cursed under his breath, throwing his head back with a groan.

The blonde man scrunched his face in disgust, "Nah, thanks, I'll leave that to Blue." Getting a chuckle from the Latino, which made both of the men snicker together.

"It's not gonna be easy, you know?" Javier suddenly spoke, alerting Steve of his worries. He understood - of course, he did. But he had mentioned this to both of you from day one. He even remembered talking to Javi about that before you two were officially together.

He nodded in understanding, "I know. Just... try to keep it undercover. As best as possible. More like you did towards the beginning because you're starting to get more daring with the shit you're doing in the office. I wouldn't be surprised to find you fucking in one of the file rooms one day."

"Yeah yeah," the Latino brushed his friend off, his memory bringing him back to the older times. 'Like you did towards the beginning', but Javier had never been able to hold himself back completely.

-

Up the elevator, Javier walked into the hallway, on his way to the meeting you had planned with Colonel Wysession. The three of you were getting closer and closer to catching that bastard, you were sure, and now with some help, it just might be even quicker. Peña couldn't say he was looking forward to necessarily working closer with the Marine Corps, only ever trusting the division he was serving in, but he accepted what had to be done.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of familiar grunts. Too familiar grunts. Glancing to his right, he found the door to one of the file rooms slightly ajar. His hand reached out to push it further open, immediately coming to sight with a back he only know too well.

The corners of his lips curled up in amusement as he leaned against the frame, arms crossed, watching you trying to make yourself taller by standing on your tippy toes to reach for one of the boxes on the higher shelves. The entertaining scene didn't last for long though when you suddenly managed to somehow move it with your fingertips, making it tilt towards you. 

Javier reacted fast. His smile dropped, and with one big step forward, he was right behind you, his arms up as he caught the heavy box with his hands while yours flew up to cover your head with a gasp escaping your throat - for one, because of the weight almost landing on you, but for two because of the person coming into the room, catching you off guard.

"Jesus, careful, cariño." You recognised the rumble of a voice belonging to your... boyfriend? No, probably still too early to call it that. Fuck buddy? Nah, it was way more than that. Anyways, that's a discussion for another time.

"Sorry," you answered him, dodging your head and moving away from Javi, so he could lower the box and bring it to one of the tables by the wall. "Thanks," you patted his shoulder before removing the lid to find the multiple files you had been looking for.

"What do you need these for?" Your partner snatched one out for himself, opening it to take a quick look.

"Wysession asked me to get them. I don't know what exactly he thinks they could help with, but oh well," you explained, brushing off the dust that got caught on your clothes.

Javier scoffed with an eye-roll, "'Course he did."

You looked through some of the pieces of paper in silence before you felt a pair of eyes not leaving your form, making you look up. Your gaze interlocked with Javi's, but he just grinned at you.

You chuckled, "What?"

He shrugged, "Nothing. I just haven't seen you today yet."

You couldn't help the smile appearing on your lips, "Well," you closed the file you were holding, "You've seen me now."

With a smirk decorating his already unique features, he slid over to be closer to you, his fingers tracing one of the strands of your hair framing your face. "I have," he leaned forward just a tad bit more, his thumb holding your chin. You could feel his lips ghosting over yours for a second before he properly kissed you, making you smile into the kiss. For a moment everything was perfect. As soon as he leaned back again, freeing you from his touch, a pout appeared on your face, making him chuckle and glide his finger over your bottom lip. "You look beautiful today, Hermosa." Before you could say anything, he placed another soft, yet meaningful peck onto your lips, breaking it off again after only a few seconds.

"You're lucky there are no cameras in here," you commented, reading to pack everything together to leave the small room. Javier looked around, analysing the corners a tiny bit more.

"Maybe there are." Which got him a slap on his chest with the file you were still holding, making him chuckle and you shake your head. He turned around to the box, "Let's get these to Wysession." You couldn't even take his place as he swiftly picked up the box that would definitely be too heavy for you, along with the other one that was already on the table - you had managed to place one there as it had been kept at chest height, but you had still been out of breath after getting it out.

"Javi, s- I can carry them." Maybe it was true, maybe not, but you didn't want him to do the dirty work that had been assigned to you.

He walked past you, stopping and nudging his head to make you walk out of the room first. "I'm sure you can. But you shouldn't have to."

On your way to the meeting room, you had started talking quietly about what you could be doing that night, as your plans until then had only been to join Javi at his place, which was more than enough for him, but you were always up to do something more.

As soon as you entered the room though, the smiles on both of your faces fell once the Colonel opened his mouth.

"Peña," he started. "I don't remember asking you to get the files." 

Steve eyed the two of you suspiciously, wondering what exactly the two of you had been up to, praying it was only about getting what Wysession wanted. You took a seat beside him, sending him a quick grin to say 'Hi'.

Javier stayed by your side, the chair right next to you already behind him to sit down after snapping back at the older man. "Yeah, well you know, I just thought I'd be a nice co-worker and don't let a lady carry all of this shit."

Wysession smacked his lips, "And I think that if a woman's strong enough to be a DEA Agent, she should also be strong enough to carry a box of files."

Both of your partners noticed the deep breath you had taken, trying to hold yourself back, knowing that arguing with that man in power was only going to get you into trouble. Javi placed his comforting palm on your thigh under the table, giving it a soft squeeze, letting you know he got you.

"And if a man's confident enough to order a woman to do such thing, he should also be confident enough to do it himself. Don't you think?" He sent the Colonel a quick wink before the subject was changed in the room, and all focus was on the task at hand. Well, maybe all but yours because your mind was still holding onto the words Javi had let echo through the room.

As a small 'thank you', your hand found his that was still on your leg, your fingers wrapping around his rough ones. He got you.

-

"But it's good," Steve commented all of a sudden. Javi crossed his arms when a surprisingly cold wind passed by.

Yet another frown made its way onto his face. "What is?"

"That you got her," the blonde nodded towards the living room, where you had changed your seat to sit on the larger couch, you back now towards the two men. "I was sceptical at first, I'm not gonna lie-"

"I know you were," Javier remembered the talk Steve had with you and him just all too well. During dinner, whereas Connie had to sit next to him, beaming as she tried to control her big smile, just happy for you two and ready to engulf you in the biggest hug possible, squeezing you until you were begging her to stop - you had that kind of relationship - Steve was trying to stay as professional as possible, knowing how serious the situation would get if it got out that you were dating. He was just trying to help.

"But," the American defended himself, "I'm still glad you didn't listen to me when I first told you not to get too close to her. She's doing the world a favour." The confusion on Javi's face made him continue, "She's changing the one and only Javier Peña." He slapped his shoulder with a smirk as he passed his colleague, earning him a scoff in return.

The Latino had enough fresh air, and dwelling on the memories made him want to get back next to you as quickly as possible, so he joined his colleague on the way back inside. 

Connie was nowhere to be seen, probably in the bedroom, but you were still occupied with the baby on your lap, that seemed to be very close to falling asleep thanks to your fingers gently tracing the outline of her face. You were always so careful - not only with babies. Javier remembered the first time he ever saw you handling a gun. He wanted to shoot every person that gave you the okay to go out in the field with a hold as you had. The Latino had to teach you how to properly keep the gun in your hand, tightly enough to not let any idiot just smack it out of your grasp.

Even the way you would hold your pens at work, filling out whatever paperwork you had to do, was almost too gentle for Javi's liking. The first time he had met you, he wondered how somebody with a voice, so soft and sweet, could work in a surrounding like theirs. But you also had a hard side to yourself. It didn't show very often, but when it did... Lord help anyone that was around you.

Out of the corner of your eyes, you noticed Javi's body directed towards you and as soon as you looked up, your eyes locked. You sent him a welcoming smile, making him grin as he walked up to you, gazing down at the little girl in your lap. You had put your feet up, the soles resting on the cushion you were sitting on, to let the Murphys' surrogate daughter rest against your upper thighs.

He reached down to brush a hand over the top of your head, getting a soft moan from you as you tilted your head back to look up at him.

"Do you wanna finish my beer?" You whispered, careful not to disturb the sleeping baby.

Javi's eyes found the almost empty bottle on the coffee table.

"You don't want it anymore?" He wondered since that had been your only drink of the entire night, and you were usually able to drink more. You shook your head in answer, "'m too tired."

It was common for you to watch your drinking very carefully, always looking out for not drinking too much, but as Javier reached down to pick up the beer bottle, he remembered the one time you didn't. The only time until now when he had to step in. When he felt needed.

-

It hadn't been an easy day at the office - the exact opposite in fact. For Javier and Steve, the day was just too long, but for you, it had been exhausting. Physically and emotionally. Some CIA agents were visiting the embassy and thought it was very funny and entertaining for a woman like you to be a DEA agent, and they weren't holding back on commenting on it.

You had holden yourself back as well as you possibly could, but every person had a snapping point. And once you had reached yours, it earned you a warning from Noonan and getting excused from work early. Not knowing what to do with the extra time, and on the verge of letting tears of frustration go, you found yourself in a bar just five minutes away from your workplace. Alcohol was always an easy way to numb everything.

You had lost count after what you thought to be your fourth drink, but who fucking cared. I had a horrible day at work, I deserved this, you told yourself.

Your partners obviously noticed how on edge you had been throughout the entire day, and the glances and whispered comments from the other men weren't helping. They were planning on checking on you, but Steve had received a call from Connie, urging him to come home, leaving Javier to take care of his girlfriend. Once he arrived at your place and knocked on the door, an uncomfortable feeling spread in his stomach as you didn't open the door. He tried again and again, but after four minutes, he realised, you weren't even home. The agent tried to call you, only to get greeted by your voice message, making him sigh and shake his head. He thought and thought, trying to find a possible place you could be. With his car, he drove around the area, looking into parks and such, not really believing to find you there, but you never know. Most stores were already closed, so you couldn't be there either. The last possibility would be a bar - definitely not the first place he'd expect you to be, but not an impossibility. He stopped at every bar, taking quick glances inside and asking around before he finally arrived at the one closest to the embassy - he couldn't even explain the weight leaving his shoulders once he saw you hunched over the bar counter. If he didn't know better, he'd think you were asleep.

Strutting across the floor until he came to a halt to your right, taking a seat on one of the barstools, he could hear the slight mumbles and hums coming from you. Since you you had your head down, resting on your arm on the top of the counter, you hadn't realised who had shown up, only when you suddenly felt the warmth of a palm on the back of your head, you dared to look up.

"Javi?" You squinted, trying to find out whether your eyes were playing a trick on you or if the man was actually sitting next to you.

He smirked at your dishevelled hair, trying to brush it cleaner with his fingers, "Hey," he spoke quietly and thanks to only a few people in that bar sitting far away from you, you were able to hear him clearly. "What are you doing here, Hermosa?"

You straightened your back slightly. "I think I'm supposed to be asking you that," the words lulled out of you, showing him just how drunk you actually were.

"How much have you had to drink?"

Uncontrollably, you started turning on the barstool, moving from side to side by pushing against the counter. You shrugged, "Two... or three..."

"Drinks? Or shots?"

"Maybe four," you continued to sing, "Or... six? Idontknow..." the last part just stumbled from your lips.

Javier shook his head with a sigh, "Jesus... alright," he got up from his seat, his right hand reaching for the drink in front of you. "You don't need that anymore."

You immediately noticed his movement and tried to stop him, "Heyyy," you whined out. "I wanted to drink that."

"No you didn't, come on," he tried to get you off the stool, but you were barely helping him, much rather just gazing at him with a pout.

"B-... But you drink too when you're frustrated," you commented.

He got you to stand up on your feet, his right arm wrapping around your waist to steady you. "Yeah," he nodded, "But you don't wanna be like me."

"And what if I do?" Your fingers started tracing his chest, covered by that white short-sleeved button-up you have come to love so much.

"Trust me. You don't."

Somehow, he managed to get you into the passenger seat of his car, securing you with the seatbelt you tended to forget to put on sometimes, before rushing to the driver's side and getting the car to start. He knew he wouldn't want you to stay at home alone tonight, so he was already planning his overnight stay at your place: getting you out of the car again, out of your clothes, maybe, if you weren't too tired, under the shower real quick, knowing how much you hated going to bed unshowered, and then into some pyjamas and under the covers to let you sleep off whatever alcohol was left in your body - which was currently still too much, he could tell.

You had closed your eyes but weren't sleeping, listening to the engine of Javier's car when something came to your mind. You abruptly shot your eyes open, "My car!"

He nodded, "I'll go get it tomorrow, don't worry." His comforting hand found its usual way to your upper thigh, resting there until you put your hand on top of his.

A few moments of silence passed before a deep sigh fell from your lips, clearly laced with frustration. Stopping at a red light, Javi turned his head to look at your side profile, almost catching himself smiling as he took in the soft glow of red elevating your features. God... what were you doing to him. His thumb started rubbing gently up and down your thigh.

"I hate men," you suddenly blurred out.

He couldn't help but to chuckle, taking your hand with his to change gear and continue the journey home. "I know, amor, I know."

"Not you, though," you quickly added, resting your head back, but turning it to look at him, "Not you."

"I know," he smiled, taking a quick glance at you and patting your leg. 

"And Steve," you continued, only making him shake his head with a smirk, "I could never hate Steve. Or you. But everyone else... no. I hate them," you continued to lull out every word, not sobering up in the slightest with every added statement. "I hate Escobar. You know, how much I hate Escobar?"

"I can imagine, sweetheart," he commented, earning him a moan of disgust from you. "What?" Javi looked at you in concern as you shook your head.

"Don't call me sweetheart. It makes me sound like an old married woman."

He chuckled, "In Texas, it's very common to call people that are close to you that."

"Still," you fought back, starting to play with his fingers in your lap, "Use your Spanish words you always call me."

"You like the Spanish names more?" To which you nodded, not even trying to hide the big grin on your lips. "Alright, muñeca."

"Muñeca?" You smiled, "What does that mean?"

"You're half Latina, you should know that," he teased, pulling into the driveway of your apartment complex.

You opened your mouth, "Oh yeah... I should know that..." Dazed in your thoughts, you didn't notice the snicker from Javier as he exited the car to get you from your side.

-

A chuckle almost tumbled from his lips at the memory, thinking back to how hard it was to get you to change into more comfortable clothing and into bed because as soon as he had put you onto the mattress, a sudden rush of energy rushed through your body. What a night...

"You wanna go home?" He wondered, lowering himself slowly onto the sofa down next to you, careful to not disturb the baby that was daringly close to falling asleep.

A yawn was his answer, but a nod from you also followed. "Yeah," you patted his thigh gently. "I'm just gonna take Olivia to Connie."

"Olivia?" Javier asked you, his eyes following your fingers that were still drawing along the sides of the baby's face.

You nodded, "Connie said she's been thinking of naming her that. I think it fits. A beautiful name for a beautiful little girl." The sudden soft smile that appeared on the baby's face made you copy the expression, beaming at your lap. "Oh my god," you gasped, making the man next to you chuckle. "Do you think she understood me?"

"I doubt that, muñeca." His arm had found its way to lie comfortably behind you, his thumb rubbing your shoulder.

You shrugged, "Who knows, maybe they do understand us, but just can't communicate." As soon as the infant opened her eyes, you smiled brightly at her. "Right, sweet girl? You know how beautiful you are." Tapping her nose to make her grin.

At the exact same moment, a sudden flash blinded you and your boyfriend, and the baby apparently too as her cries rang through your ears. Looking up, you caught Steve standing in front of you, a polaroid camera in his hands, smirking proudly at you and your partner.

"Steve!" You called out, shaking your head along as you tried to soothe her again, "Well done, dad."

"Fucking idiot," Javier cursed out as you got up to bounce the baby up and down, hoping to calm her down.

"Javi!" You hissed at him, shielding the small ear closer to him. "Not in front of the kid!"

"Cariño, she can't understand us."

"You don't know that." Were your last words before you left the room to join the other woman in the bedroom, handing her her surrogate daughter back. That left Javier and Steve yet alone again.

"Great job," the Latino sarcastically complimented the other agent, who was grinning at his hands.

"So worth it though."

"What? Making your kid cry?" Javi scrunched his eyebrows in confusion, until Steve lifted up the polaroid picture he had taken, showing it to his partner. It was perfect. Javier and you sitting comfortably on the couch, looking down at your lap where you had held the little girl. Both smiling. Both happy. He didn't notice you leaning into the arm he had draped over you, but it was clear to see in the picture.

Peña cleared his throat as he stood up, brushing his hands over his jeans. "Keep it." But Steve shook his head.

"Nah man, that's for you two."

Javier pushed back his outstretched hand, "It's fine."

Before the blonde man could start an argument, you came back into the living room, your eyes immediately on the two. It didn't take you long to see what Steve was holding.

"Oh my god!" You smiled with bright eyes, jogging over to your partner, and snatching the picture into your own hands. "It's so cute. Look!" You showed it to your boyfriend even though you knew he had already seen it. He shook his head, but Murphy was quicker than him.

"Keep it," he told you. "One of the only pictures I've ever seen where Javi actually looks decent."

"Hey!" You hit his upper arm with the polaroid before looking down at it again with a grin that was so wide, Javier could've sworn it almost reached your ears. "But thanks," with a shy smile and a nod, you thanked your co-worker, who copied your actions. "I just said goodbye to Connie by the way," you directed your statement to the man next to you.

"You're going already?" The blonde American wondered, walking back into the kitchen to place the Polaroid camera on the countertop.

You nodded, "Looking after your kid tires you out. But you wouldn't know that." With the sarcastic smile you sent him, you disappeared into the hallway. The two men followed you quietly.

Javier took your jacket off the hook first, waiting for you to turn your back to him so he could help you slide in. Steve leaned against the frame of the walkthrough, eyeing the couple smugly.

"Well, at least I now know who not to call when we need someone to look after her," he teased you, knowing it would offend you since you had a reputation for being good with kids.

"How dare you," you gasped, pointing a finger at him, which made him laugh out loud. Javi shook his head and placed his hands on your shoulders to turn you towards the door, ready for the night to finally come to an end. He pushed you forward until you had no choice but to push down the door handle and open the front door of their apartment.

You turned around, "See ya tomorrow!" Calling out to your other partner.

Javier did the same, adding a, "Say good night to Connie and Olivia for me." Getting a confused look at the mention of a 'Olivia' in return.

-

You spent the car ride to your boyfriend's place comfortably reminiscing about the evening, asking him about what Steve and he had talked about on the balcony, but only receiving 'nothing important, just small talk back. He had asked you about your conversations with Connie in return, wondering what you had discussed. What he didn't expect was to hear all of the gossip from your co-worker's wife's work, having to remember names he had never heard of before, which suddenly seemed very important. But he enjoyed it. He could've listened to you for many more hours but had tired yourself out from talking, immediately shutting quiet as soon as you had arrived.

Javier didn't waste a second before he took off his clothing, immediately heading for the bathroom to take a shower and call it a night. You followed him, brushing your teeth while he was washing his body, and switching positions as soon as he was done. He put on a pair of thin pyjama pants you got him, that he usually only put on out of courtesy since you both knew they'd come off during the night eventually - either because of you or simply because that man gets too hot for his own good while sleeping. You had thrown on your pyjama set, consisting of satin shorts along with a matching strappy top and went back to the bedroom, where your boyfriend was already waiting, having thrown himself onto the mattress, his feet still on the ground by the side of the bed.

"Is someone tired?" You teased him, walking up to him to lean down and brush some of his hair away from his forehead.

He huffed out a big chunk of air. "Sometimes Steve talks even more than you."

"Hey, you've never complained about me talking."

"No, but about Steve's." His eyes fluttered open at the sound of your giggles, filling his stomach and heart. Your fingers continued playing with his hair when a thought popped into your head.

"Where's your wallet?" Letting your eyes travel across the room to see if you could catch sight of the leather object.

"Why?" His hand found yours, holding onto it as he pushed himself up to sit with his other one. Javi gently dragged you in closer to stand in between his legs that he had parted to make room for you. Instead of answering him, you just showed him your open palm, sending him a quick smile along with it.

He nudged his head towards his nightstand, where the purse had been placed on. You reached out to grab it. His gaze was fixed on you and your hands as you opened it, placing the object you had been holding into one of the compartments.

"Here!" You showed him your masterpiece. You had put the picture Steve took of you two into the see-through slit in his wallet, and you seemed to be very proud of it. Javier couldn't help the chuckle coming from him. He got the purse back into his grasp.

"Gracias, corazón."

"You're welcome," you smiled back at him, intertwining your fingers with each other behind his neck as he threw the wallet back to where it had been before his hands rested on one of their favourite spots - your hips. Brushing them up and down your sides, he gazed up at you, who was already looking down at him.

"Have you been frowning a lot lately?" Your sudden question took him by surprise, making him unknowingly scrunch his eyebrows.

"What do you mean?"

"Like now!" You giggled, running your right thumb between his brows to decrease the tension. "Don't do that. You'll get wrinkles."

Javier lips slightly curled at your concern. "I think those come with age, mi amor. But you wouldn't know that." Adding the little comment you teased Steve with, hiding it in a compliment and making you grin.

"Come one," he motioned for you to get on the bed while he lifted the covers, so you both could get comfortable underneath them. You scootched in closer, so your faces were only a few inches apart.

"Aren't you tired?" You wondered, feeling his arm wrap tighter around you to pull you in even tighter and place a sweet kiss on your lips. You let your fingers brush through the locks at the back of his head, getting him to close his eyes and sigh. The tension was leaving his entire body just with those simple touches of yours. The magic hold you had on him made you grin. You loved having this effect on him. You knew you had it. It was in intimate moments like this that Javier would let himself completely relax underneath you. And that happened multiple times. Whether it was thanks to your voice, your touch, or simply your being. You relaxed him. 

The two of you shared a few moments in silence, in which you had moved closer to him, he now on his back, your cheek resting against his shoulder, his hand brushing up and down your sides and back while your fingers were resting on his chest. But there was one question playing on the tip of your tongue that you just couldn't hold back anymore.

"What do you think of Olivia?" His movements on your body stopped for a second, almost making you gulp, but he played his surprise off and continued rubbing your back.

"I think... she's... a baby?" Making it sound like a question. A snicker fell from your lips, and you teasingly nudged his hips with yours.

"Nooo, that's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean, hermosa?"

You sat up straighter, pushing yourself off his shoulder to look at him, his hand still on your back.

"Just," you shrugged, "In general. What do you think... of her... as a baby, I guess." 

Javier noticed the slight shyness in your eyes when you let your gaze wander around, not really interlocking with his. He smirked at the realisation,

"Are you asking me how I feel about kids? Like having kids?"

You quickly looked at him, "No. No, I wouldn't do that. I know you." His confused look made you continue. "I know who you are." Suddenly, your voice became much quieter than before.

"And who am I?" He copied your tone, turning this conversation much more sensual than you had planned for it to be. You didn't miss his hand travelling lower down your body, brushing over the curve of your ass, down to your leg to throw one over his.

"Javier Peña," you simply answered him.

He nodded, "That's my name."

The unamused facial expression of yours would've made him laugh if he didn't find the situation more serious than he would've liked to admit. Something about this felt important. Very important.

"You know what I mean," you tilted your head, avoiding his gaze by tracing his collarbones with your finger, your eyes following it.

"I'm afraid I don't, mi amor." The nickname still made you tingle. From the moment he first used it up until that moment - the feeling continued to be the same. You felt loved. You felt wanted. You felt needed.

You let out a soft sigh, looking down before back up again. "I don't know... you're just... Javier Peña. The cold-blooded DEA agent-"

"Is that all you think of me?"

"No," you quickly added, "Of course not. That's just who you are to other people. To me, you're... I don't know... nice?"

"Nice?" He chuckled, making you do the same as you hid your face in his neck. You could already tell this question was a mistake, but you continued, distancing yourself from him, placing your palm on his chest

"What do you want me to say? You're so sweet and bubbly?" You both laughed in synch, his arms wrapping just a little tighter around you. "You're not, Javi! You're rough but soft around-"

"I swear to God if someone calls me soft one more time-"

"Who called you soft?"

"Fucking Steve." You laughed out loud at his confession. Your hands cradled his face, placing a few pecks on his cheek until you reached his lips.

"Aww, my sweetie is getting soft." This earned you a pinch to your thigh, making you jolt up and chuckle even more.

"That's what you get for saying shit like that," he commented with a subtle smile, catching your lips with a kiss, almost making you moan by the force of it.

You patted the side of his face gently. "No, no, don't worry. That just wouldn't be you anymore. I'd hate that."

The man smirked, "So you admit that you like it rough?"

"Javi!" You smacked his chest, but he caught your hand and pulled you in for another kiss.

"Just admit it, cariño," he mumbled against your lips.

"Never, Peña," you giggled.

He stole a couple more kisses before releasing you. "Alright, then back to your question." His hands rested on the side of your legs while your finger traced invisible lines on his chest.

"Nooo, please. Let's just forget I ever asked."

"You want me to forget you asking me if I want kids?"

You gasped, "That was not my question!" But he just continued to look at you. A few seconds passed, and no one said anything. Until you broke the silence, finding it slowly become unbearable where you left off. "But-"

"There we go," he proudly smirked. You shook your head with a smile.

"If I was hypothetically asking. Your hypothetical answer would be...?"

"Why are you worrying so much about that all of a sudden? Hypothetically speaking." He seemed genuinely interested in hearing your answer to his question.

You shrugged and thought for a while before dropping your hand down, finding his fingers to play with now. "You didn't even think twice about it when you found Olivia. It seemed so obvious to you that Steve would take her." Ah, there it was.

Javier took a deep breath. "Yeah... I guess so." His eyes focused on your intertwined fingers for a split second before looking up again. "For one, because he and Connie have been married for quite a while, so, you know, it seemed fitting. And second, because... well... I'm not exactly a-"

"Family person." You answered for him with a nod.

"Right," he sighed, looking up at the ceiling, not at you, almost in shame. You could hear another heavy breath escaping his lips. "But you are." And his eyes were back on you again. Regret and fear. Maybe even uncertainty. That's what they showed. You were sure of it.

"I guess," you shrugged.

"You're great with kids. Of course, you are," he assured you. By now you knew that if there was one person that knew you better than anyone else, it would be Javi. The multiple nights you spent venting your problems onto him - past, present and future possible problems. Even before you shared a bed. That's how you bonded. Shared fears from the past. Regrets you didn't want to go through again. He knew you like the back of his hand. You weren't yet sure if you could say the same thing about him.

"Yeah..." you placed his hands in front of you, looking down. Hands that have killed. But also hands that have brought you love and pleasure. And oh, the many more things those hands could do. "But you're not."

Javier didn't nod or shake his head. He just kept his gaze on you. He didn't know what to say or how to react. Was it too early to have this conversation? The two of you were close to sharing your second anniversary together, so he guessed the time had to come at some point... right? He had admitted his love for you a long time ago, he could admit this too.

"What do you want?"

His question made you look up, "Hm?" You wondered, slightly confused by what he had meant.

"In the future. What do you want? And be honest," he squeezed your hands assuringly.

You gulped. "I think that changed when I came to Colombia, you know?"

"Then before that. Before you knew about all this shit here. What was the future you dreamed of?"

You let the question linger in the air for a second before you opened your mouth with a smile. "I really wanted to be a mom. I always thought I'd become a young mom, to be honest. But then I found my way into law enforcement and I knew I couldn't have both... But I think I'd still want that. I really loved my mom growing up. She did a great job raising me and my siblings, so I definitely know I'd have someone to look up to in that sense." He continued listening to you attentively, his hands moving along your skin gently. "I want a house. A white house preferably. With a big garden. Maybe even a farm or something. Animals. Especially cats. Maybe a dog... I don't know... I'd decide on that when the time comes. But... yeah... kinda do want kids." Javi didn't miss the change of tense when you spoke about wanting to become a mother.

"Alright," he nodded, placing his hand on your cheek to pull you in for a kiss. You moved your lips along with his, fitting perfectly like usual. You separated yourself from him, your hand back on his chest.

"That's all you have to say?" You chuckled a bit at his response.

Javier's hand came to your neck, his fingers tracing your skin. "Yeah." He nodded, definitely not understanding what you had meant.

"So, I'll just say whatever, and you go along with it?" You smiled at your partner, slightly amused by his opinion on the subject, yet not fully believing it.

He shrugged, "If you want a family with a house and pets, who am I to deny you of that?"

"But that's not how it works. That's not how a relationship works."

"And how does a relationship work, mi amor?" He wondered, pushing himself up to put you underneath his body, holding himself up with his arms on either side of you.

"You're supposed to say what you think of something, and then I say what I think of it, and we'll try to find a middle ground and settle on that," you explained, knowing you had his full attention.

"And what would the middle ground on this be? No kids, kids, only one. There is no middle ground here." You didn't really think about that. He was right. But who would be the person to give in now? Even if you hadn't decided that yet, Javier had already made his decision a while ago. "If you want that. I'm gonna make sure that you'll get it."

You shook your head, your fingers finding the brown locks by his neck. "But that's not you."

"Says who?"

"You-"

"I never said that," he argued. "I never said I didn't want a future like Steve's." His statement surprised you. And he couldn't lie, it was hard for him to admit. Javier wasn't used to showing this side of himself. But if anyone got to see him like that, it was you. "It's definitely not made for me, that's for sure. And I don't really think that it's very smart to have small kids running around in a country like this while you're hunting down drug lords and whatnot every day. But just because I didn't think that life was for me, doesn't mean that can't change."

His words let the shiver move from your head down to your toes, filling your stomach with butterflies and your heart with desire. You never expected to hear words even similar to these from Javier. To be fair, there hadn't been many times where you thought of having a potential future with kids with your boyfriend - it always seemed so clear to you that as soon as you gave yourself to him, you had to let that dream go for good. But here you were, underneath the man you had come to love, gazing into his big brown eyes while he poured out his entire heart to you. You knew he meant every word. Every single one. And maybe it was still a little too soon to truly think about this subject intensively (or maybe not), but God, you'd be lying if you said your want and need for him didn't grow even bigger than you could've ever imagined.

You nodded up to him, biting down on your lips to hide the smile that would've been way too bright for this moment. "Okay." You whispered, pulling him down to you to let him know that maybe you had now just given him a simple and short answer, but Lord, you meant it.

Javier grinned at you, "Okay."

You weren't going to get to work on it right away. But maybe one day. Maybe one day this conversation would repeat itself and right afterwards you'd find yourself moaning his name out into the world as he made sure that you got what you had always dreamed of.

That wasn't the Javier Peña everyone else knew, but it was the Javi that you knew and loved. Just the right amount of rugged and soft to make sure you knew you were loved in every way possible, but also protected and safe. 

He smirked down as he noticed your need to pull him closer. Once again, your lips met, making you melt right into the sheets underneath you and moan into his lips when you felt his hand riding up your torso underneath your silk shirt.

"Now, what was that about you not liking rough?"

"Javi," you scolded him with a chuckle as you felt a rush of heat rush up to your cheeks, but definitely also through your body. His hot breath tickled your neck as you started working his lips against your skin, making you sigh heavily.

"I think I'm gonna have to prove you wrong on that, muñeca," he whispered against your ear, making a grin when you pulled him back to face you, not even giving me a second to think before smashing your lips against his.

Javi didn't mention the sensation that filled his body back at the Muphy's place when his eyes found you with that little girl. He'd let you know about that once the time was right.

pedro taglist: @leslieelainetrask

[blueiscoool]

Connie Converse: The 'Genius' of a Singer Who Was Ahead of Her Time - Then Disappeared

Connie Converse failed to find fame as a singer-songwriter in the 1950s, then mysteriously disappeared without a trace. On the 100th anniversary of her birth - and approaching the 50th anniversary of her disappearance - she's now remembered as a great lost talent.

In January 1961, an unknown Bob Dylan arrived in Greenwich Village with a guitar in his hand and $12 in his pocket, on his way to revolutionising popular music with his poetic, personal songs.

Maybe he brushed past Connie Converse as she went the other way. She moved out of the New York neighbourhood that same month, after a decade of struggling to get significant attention for her own intimate, sophisticated and beautiful songs.

There is a parallel universe where Converse was the one who got the big break, and she is a household name.

At least, that’s the theory put forward in a recent book called How To Become Famous – not a manual, but about why some talented people become successful and others stay in the shadows.

It imagines a world where Converse is "widely known" as "the most original, and perhaps the greatest, of the folk singers of the 1950s and 1960s", who influenced everyone from Dylan to Taylor Swift, and for whom "a Nobel Prize is not out of the question".

Musician and author Howard Fishman, who published Converse’s biography, To Anyone Who Ever Asks, last year, also thinks Converse could have made it big.

"I love to think about an alternate reality in which Connie Converse’s music did receive the recognition it deserved in its own time, and she became a recognised for the musical genius that she was," he says.

"I almost think a better version of American cultural history could have happened, had that been the case."

But How To Become Famous author Cass Sunstein concedes that Converse wasn't better than Dylan. She also faced barriers because she was a woman. And perhaps her clever, melodic and mostly melancholic songs just never quite had mass appeal.

They dealt with subjects like loneliness, promiscuity, quarrelling lovers, and frequenting saloons in the afternoons. It's certainly hard to imagine them really catching on in the early 50s, an age dominated by schmaltzy crooners, folk purists and show tunes.

"She didn't sound like anybody else that was making music in her own day," says Fishman. "And she doesn't sound like anybody else making music now, to my ears."

British singer Vashti Bunyan became a Connie Converse convert after a recommendation from US DJ David Garland, the first person to play her songs in 2004.

"I couldn't believe that they were [recorded] so long ago, it was the 1950s," Bunyan says. "And just to hear her speaking in a way that I would have always wanted to speak was very moving.

"She was completely ahead of her time, and it must have been very hard for her. She must have felt isolated.

"If she had any ambition for her songs, she must have known how good they were, how clever and funny and wonderful they were, and poetic. But other people didn't seem to recognise that kind of genius writing at the time."

Bunyan knows what it's like to have her music "rediscovered" decades later. She released an album in 1970, which has gained cult status in more recent years. She says their stories are very different, but agrees there is an allure to the idea of "the discovery of something from so long ago".

"And how lucky that she was recorded," she says. "Connie was recorded by her friends, and none of those recordings were supposed to be commercially released.

"But it's so wonderful that they have been, that they have been found. And it makes you wonder about all the other people that weren't."

Converse was recorded at the home of one of her friends and champions, Gene Deitch, but she never released any music in her time. She performed for small groups of supporters, but never played a proper concert. She made one TV appearance, but that led nowhere.

Ellen Stekert, a folk historian who was also performing in the 1950s, believes Converse was just "too different" to have "made it".

"I think she was wonderful. I think she was totally out of sequence of any kind of cultural impulse," she says.

"She was self-contained, and also self-isolated. It was too bad somebody could not break through that."

Converse did have her supporters, but any female singer at that time needed to be backed by a man with the right connections, Stekert says. And Converse was socially awkward, and not good at self-promotion.

"Unfortunately, she didn't have much social understanding of things. She did not have a very good rapport, I think, with people.

"Evidently, she had very bad teeth and her body odour also was fairly prominent. And those are two factors in middle-class America that will make sure you don't make it any place."

Converse worked for a printing company and then for the Institute of Pacific Relations. After leaving New York in 1961, she became editor of the Journal for Conflict Resolution in Michigan, and her intellectual activities, and peace and anti-racism activism, were highly regarded.

But then, her life seemed to lose purpose and direction. On 10 August 1974, a week after her 50th birthday, she posted letters to family and friends, telling some she was returning to New York.

She drove out of Ann Arbor and has not been heard from since. Neither her body nor her car was found.

A new life?

"As far as we know, she never made it to New York," Fishman says.

"As far as we know, she never made it anywhere.

"I'd love to think that she started a new life somewhere else, and that she lived more years. But who knows?"

On Saturday 3 August, exactly 100 years after Converse’s birth, Fishman is in her home town - Concord, New Hampshire - for a ceremony to give the singer her first official recognition.

Her music has gradually spread over the past 20 years. So, too, has her story, and the mystery of her disappearance is often the first thing that gets people's attention.

"The unfortunate and darkly poetic thing is that she needed to disappear in order for us to see her," Fishman says. "That was the hook that was needed for us to pay attention to her.

"But what I always say is, don't focus on how she disappeared, focus on how she lived, because her life is so much more fascinating and meaningful, and has so much more to teach us than the fact that at age 50, she felt that she had to vanish."

By Ian Youngs.

[rrenzwrld]

mama’s baby, daddy’s maybe

in which connie is a famous basketball player who has a secret baby with his best friend

second half of part 5! read the first half here and read part four here!

“Nice of you to just come in like you really mess with us.” I watched my language.

His eyebrows furrowed. “What you mean? Y’all always been my people, why—“

“You a big time celebrity now, Con. You shouldn’t be mingling with the common folk.” He chuckled a bit but I wondered what was funny. I turned around to check on Celest and she was still busy watching something on my phone only because her tablet was the one thing I forgot to bring.

“That don’t mean nothing to me. I’m just glad we cool again.” It was a short conversation but it got us to the place.

Once we got there, obviously people recognized him and he was almost bombarded with people wanting him to sign something or take pictures with him. I really couldn’t see how he was just walking around with no bodyguards or nothing like he wasn’t a household name right now. But when we were finally sitting down away from the front, the chaos subsided.

“You been here before?” I asked him as I gave Celest the little kids menu to color on.

“I come here a lot actually, that’s how the staff know me so well.” He laughed. “But the place is authentic and the owner is really nice.” I hummed in response. Within a few minutes, the waitress came around for our drink orders. I ordered water and a kids sweet tea for Celest so I could pour it into her little sippy cup. Connie ordered tea too and told the waitress that we weren’t quite ready to order food yet.

“I still can’t believe you had a baby, Chy.” He went back to that. “But she’s the cutest lil thing. Quiet, but cute.”

I smiled. “She’s a lil shy right now but she warms up after a while.”

“What does she eat?”

“She’ll eat anything for real but her go-to is anything with rice. Can I see this, baby? Thank you~” She gave me the kids menu to look at for a second.

“Oh they have plenty of that here. You know what you want?” I wasn’t even looking at the menu.

I shook my head. “Nope.. what do you normally get?” He told me about a mexican dish that he really liked from there but I didn’t wanna repeat it because I couldn’t roll my R’s. Obviously he could do it because it’s literally a part of his culture. Because I trusted his judgement, I just went along with the dish he picked and ended up ordering a kids empanada with a side of rice for Celest.

“Hey, um this may seem like a personal question and you might not wanna answer it but…” He was hesitating but I knew what he was to ask. “Is her dad around at all? I just can’t imagine anyone wanting to leave you like—“

“He’s…” I really didn’t know how to answer that. The smart idea would be to just tell him right here but I couldn’t bring myself to do that right now. “Nah, he’s not around.” It felt so bad to lie. Especially to someone who was once my best friend, someone I’d trust my life with.

“Damn,” He mumbled and I did laugh a bit because it truly was a mixed up situation. The truth would be far from funny though. He saw me laugh at his comment and apologized immediately. “My bad, that’s just—“

“Crazy, I know.” I didn’t know what was going on in Connie’s head and I’m not sure I wanted to.

“Yeah…” Luckily the food came in just in time. I was gonna cut up Celest’s food until Connie offered to do it. “I got it, bring it here.” I slid the plate across the table and Celest looked up at me like I was giving away her stuff. The both of us started to laugh at her expression.

“He’s cuttin up your food for you mama.”

He laughed a bit. “She might not like me that much.” After Connie finished cutting up her food, the plate was right back in front of her, I poured the tea in her sippy cup and let her start eating before Connie and I started eating ourselves. I don’t know what it was but it felt like what I only imagined in my dreams. Sitting, eating, talking, and spending time Celest and Connie made me feel complete. But it was only a matter of time before all this had a possibility of crashing down.

After we ate and everything, it was getting late and people had to wake up in the morning so Connie was taking us home.

“Y’know, I really enjoyed tonight.” He said as he was keeping his eyes on the road. “I hope this isn’t the last time…” I was silent as if I was waiting for him to say something else.

“Don’t wanna lose you again.” My eyes trailed down to Connie’s inked hand loosely holding onto mine. I turned around in my seat to check on Celest but she was fast asleep with my phone in her lap.

“Con..”

“Promise me?” He squeezed my hand lightly which prompted me to hold onto his hand too. I honestly didn’t think I could hate myself anymore than I did.

“Promise.” I forced a tight smile. Although everything seemed okay now after two years, it could only go downhill again from here.

[happybird16]

With as famous as he is, Actor!Levi is always getting recognized by fans. It's constant. He tries to disguise himself with a face mask and a baseball cap, but it's always inevitable that he ends up swarmed by over exuberant fans.

The two of you are out of a lunch date. It's nice, warm and sunny with a calm breeze, so you'd decided to sit outside on the little patio attached to the restaurant. It's mostly enclosed by a wall of lattice covered by flowers, the soft breeze wafting the scent between you. The conversations flows easily, as it always does.

The dark fabric of Levi's mask is tucked low beneath his chin, making way for him to slowly munch on his sandwich. "We're probably going to have to take a break in filming soon," he tells you, sliding the container of his fries over towards your side. "Was there somewhere you wanted to go for vacation?"

You smile eagerly, taking the offer greedily. Munching happily, you ask, "Is this because Connie broke his finger trying that stunt?"

As Levi opens his mouth to reply you hear a loud squeal in the distance, "IS THAT HIM?", followed by "Is that Levi!!?! Oh My God!"

Levi's shoulders immediately rise to his ears, head dipping as a scowl forms on his lips. "Fucking hell-"

The next thing you know your table is surrounded by an excited and loud squad of teenage girls, phones at the ready. One of them has a teacup in hand, aggressively attempting to shove it into Levi's grasp. "Do the thing. Do it. Hold the cup weird like in the show."

Levi gives you a look of pure dread, quietly taking the cup from her grasp the way she asked. You fight laughter the entire time their phones snap. His face in all of them is the epitome of 😕

[madewithspice]

Royal Pain In The Arse | eren v levi

Levi’s life as King’s guard would have been perfect if it hadn’t been for the pesky second hand of the Prince.

Eren and Levi hated each other the minute they locked eyes on each other. Eren hates the authoritive figure of Levi and Levi hates spoilt brats, especially loud ones.

Thus the rivalry began.

Levi looks for any excuse to punish and reprimand Eren.

Eren ate food that was meant for the Prince? Drag him to the dungeons for a night.

Eren always complains to Armin about how unfair it is that Levi only targets him and how he’s an evil, evil man and should not be guarding the King. He’ll say anything to try and get rid of Levi.

On the other side of the castle, the exact same conversation is taking place between Levi and Erwin but with more cussing because we all know Levi cusses like a sailor.

The prince’s guard will often go and mess with Levi’s amour and swing his practice sword around. Until one day he swung it against a post and it broke. Panic set in but luckily for Eren, Mikasa was there to take the fall.

Levi loves his tea and god help anyone who drinks it especially without permission and ESPECIALLY if you are a certain Eren Yeager.

Eren watched the chaos unfold as Hange was berated for using the precious tea leaves for their unhinged concoctions and thus it began. The famous battle of Earl Grey as dubbed by Connie.

Levi left the kitchen, unbeknownst to him, that a brunet rat was waiting anxiously in the shadows for his departure. The second he left, Eren was out and mixing the various tea flavours from their jars and even added some bitter leaves he scavenged from the Royal Gardens in.

Levi’s tea senses must have tingled because he returned just in time to see Eren run off. He scowled and went about making his tea.

Everything was calm in the AOT castle until the Eren’s screams alerted everyone of the battle. Levi chased him and beat the everlasting crap out of the prankster. Not even the king could save him now.

They both have nightmares about that day and somehow hate each other even more, if that’s even possible.

- Kiki.

[chasingb1rds]

You will always be famous to me Connie Converse

[yibennianyaji]

Recent Reading: Biography of X by Catherine Lacey

Angered by an unauthorized, inaccurate biography of her late wife, the multi-disciplinary artist, public intellectual, and provocateur known only as X, journalist C.M. Lucca sets out to correct the record by writing her own biography. Biography of X is a metafictional exercise that is absolutely committed to the bit, complete with second, internal copyright and About the Author pages, copiously documented (invented) sources for all its quotations, and photographic "evidence" of the events and people it describes. As if that were not enough, the novel takes place in an alternate US, where after the second World War the southern states seceded, forming a dictatorial theocracy which lasted for decades.

This is such a weird and distinctive project, one that touches on so many topics and tropes that I have always been drawn to, that it seemed inevitable that Biography of X would be one of my favorite reads of the year. But to my dismay—and despite the obvious effort Lacey has put into the novel, and the erudition she demonstrates throughout—the result is bland and uninvolving, and some of the choices it makes have left me scratching my head.

As C.M. explains in the biography's foreword, X, who spent her career pretending to be a myriad different people and creating art in each of their guises���a rough-and-tumble, genderqueer bartender in the East Village whose novel inspired Denis Johnson's Jesus's Son; a superstar music producer and songwriter who worked with David Bowie and rescued the career of early folk singer Connie Converse; the publisher of an avant-garde feminist press; two different performance artists who got in a public feud when one of them accused the other of kidnapping and filming her for an art project—never wanted to be explained in a biography. She did not view her personas as performances or lies, and did not feel that there was any need to explain the "real" woman behind them. C.M. is scathing towards the unofficial biography that purports to identify just this real version of the woman (and, along the way, argues that X's marriage to C.M. was a sham).

If this conjures associations of Pale Fire, and expectations that C.M.'s supposed journalistic detachment will gradually wear away to reveal a burning need to assert her primacy in X's life and work, what Biography of X actually delivers is depressingly dry. C.M. dutifully describes each of X's artistic projects, the relationships she forged with activists and Manhattan bon vivants, the reports on her in venues like Vanity Fair and The Village Voice. But none of it leaps off the page. You never find yourself wishing you could have attended one of X's exhibits (the way I repeatedly did while reading Siri Hustvedt's similar, but infinitely more exciting and successful, The Blazing World) or been on the ground when one of her famous art world feuds took off.

Worst of all, X herself simply isn't that interesting. In theory, she's Lydia Tár on steroids—brilliant, imperious, full of boundless energy, and not-so-secretly monstrous (both C.M. and all of X's previous partners eventually admit that she was violent towards them). But the actual woman never develops much life (the personas are perhaps a little more engaging, but they all feel—presumably deliberately—like stock types rather than real people). Again and again throughout the novel, we're told that figures both real and invented were won over and eventually obsessed with X, seeing her as a major contributor to their work and allowing her to insinuate herself into their lives and become essential to them. And at no point is this ever convincing.

In Lacey's own list of sources, she reveals that many of the quotations attributed to X were taken from real figures like Susan Sontag, Kathy Acker, and Emily Dickinson. But the character she stitches together from these real women lacks their vitality—you do not, for example, fall in mingled love and hate with X the way you almost instantly do with Alena Smith's version of Dickinson in the television series of the same name. To an extent, this might be deliberate—the closest thing the novel has to an emotional arc is C.M. moving past her adoration of X and towards skepticism, and eventually disdain. But since C.M. herself never develops much of a personality through this process, the novel's dryness is not alleviated by it.

And then of course, there's the alternate history, simultaneously the novel's most intriguing and most frustrating choice. As C.M. reveals—and as her unauthorized biographer missed—X was born in the southern territories. In the novel's longest and most interesting chapter, C.M. travels south to learn about X's past, as a teenage wife and mother who became involved with a dissident group and participated in a terrorist attack on a weapons factory, before escaping to the north. Along the way, she explains the split's origins—after Emma Goldman became FDR's chief of staff and began enacting socialist reforms (among them universal healthcare and a recognition of same-sex relationships), a conservative religious backlash erupted in the south, which seceded and founded a repressive theocratic society that is one part Gilead, one part GDR.

If you're thinking that there's something missing here, you'd be right. Though racism exists in the novel's world, white supremacy is not at the foundation of any part of its American society, not even the southern territories. The novel, in fact, is almost entirely silent on the matter of race—while discussing the secession, for example, C.M. does not once mention the Civil War, and the reader is left to wonder whether it occurred in this world's history (though slavery is mentioned at least once). In other words, Lacey has created a world where the driving ideology of American reactionaries isn't white supremacy, but Christian conservatism. Quite literally, in fact: in one of the notes revealing the real sources from which she took her quotations, Lacey notes that she substituted the term "theocratic fascism" for "the segregationist community".

Even notwithstanding that these two forces have never been particularly easy to disentangle, this is a baffling choice—all the more so when you consider that there are no significant non-white characters in the novel (one major exception is the leader of a civil rights organization who, naturally, found in X a fellow traveler and rhapsodizes to C.M. about the unique understanding she had of his organization's work). I kept waiting for Lacey to reveal her intention with it, but as the novel progressed she seemed to leave it, and the southern territories in general, in the rearview mirror. It ends up feeling less important than other worldbuilding choices, such as the fact that an École Polytechnique-style attack on a gathering of modernist artists—which left male stalwarts of 20th century art such as Marcel Duchamp and Jackson Pollock dead while sparing the women in the room—has resulted in the art world being dominated by women.

Eventually you have to wonder if the whole point of the novel is the name-dropping, the skill with which Lacey has woven together real sources and people into a semi-imaginary whole where Frank O'Hara lived to old age, and Bernie Sanders became president in the 80s. Perhaps if I were more immersed in the world of mid-20th century arts and letters, I would find this act of worldbuilding more delightful in its own right—certainly, many of the book's most effusive reviews treat its moments of recognition and estrangement as one of its key attractions, and many of them were written by people who are part of the same scene. In the absence of that grounding, my reaction to the novel remains one of detachment, maybe even boredom. At the end of Biography of X, it's hard to understand any of its choices of emphasis—none of them seem to have enough life in them, or enough to say, to be worth the effort.

[cower-before-power]

AOT Boyfriends and Winter Dates

Featuring: Modern AU Eren, Armin, Jean, Connie, Erwin, Levi, Reiner, Porco

TW: very slight suggestive content (Jean, Erwin), alcohol mention (Erwin, Levi), a few curse words (Porco).

A/N: Chilly and snowy weather makes me want to write warm winter fluff, so here is some just for you all! I kept it holiday-free and gender neutral so all can partake. Please enjoy, my darling sweet potatoes!

Eren Jaeger

Eren doesn’t much care for cold weather, but it does provide ample opportunity for his ultimate favourite pastime: cuddling. He’s quick on a chilly evening to turn your living room into a massive blanket fort, complete with twinkling fairy lights, soft pillows, and your warmest afghan. He orders your favourite take-out and makes steaming mugs of his mom’s famous hot chocolate, ears turning pink as you coo at the marshmallows forming a heart on top. The date isn’t complete without an argument about what movie to watch-“Eren, I am not watching The Terminator again.” “But it’s a classic, babe!”-which you win, of course. Eren is simply happy to hold you in his arms and feed you bits of takeout in between quiet conversation and affectionate kisses. It’s not fancy but its yours, just the two of you, laughing and loving and just existing in this world you’ve built together. It’s your ramshackle little paradise, and it’s perfect.

Armin Arlert

To Armin, there isn’t a season where books aren’t in season. He takes you on dates to your favourite bookstores, the quaint, quiet kinds with cozy reading nooks and the kettle on. Armin is entrusted with choosing a book, while the task of picking the tea falls to you. You both collect your wares before curling up on one of the plush sofas by the window. Your head rests lazily on Armin’s shoulder as he softly reads aloud, occasionally sipping your tea as you watch the snow fall outside. It’s peaceful and intimate in a way that feels so homey. Armin’s clear voice and the calm atmosphere eventually will rock you gently towards sleep, no matter how much you fight it. “Sorry ‘Min, don’t stop reading.” It’s slurred, almost incoherent, but Armin just smiles. “I won’t.” His lips brush against your skin, and you know he doesn’t just mean now. Armin will read you to sleep until he can’t anymore, it’s a promise.

Jean Kirschstein

This man is all about the self care, and he knows just how dry and itchy your skin can get during the colder months. That’s why his perfect winter date is a day at the spa. He’s got you two signed up for the works: facials, massages, foot scrubs, nail care- any service he knows you’d like. If you want to change one or get something extra, don’t you worry, his credit card is out and ready. He makes sure you can do all your treatments together, and even thought it’s mostly silent, you somehow feel all the closer to him. After you’ve been pampered to the max, he’s taking you home to admire and worship your refreshed self. It doesn’t even have to become sexual; the man just wants to hold you close and shower you with his praise and affection. “You’re glowing, baby, so pretty,” he murmurs into your skin, hands warm and kneading. “Aren’t I always?” you tease gently, to which your handsome man firmly agrees. Jean loves you no matter how you look or feel, but he’s happy he gets to treat you to the relaxation you deserve.

Connie Springer

Connie is a giant kid at heart, and winter is the perfect time to indulge in both of your inner children. He likes all outdoor activities, but he favourite is sledding. There’s no better way to spend a Saturday afternoon then careening wildly down a snow covered hill on his trusty old toboggan, you clinging to his waist and shrieking with delight into his ear. You race up and down the hill until you are both exhausted, flopping down on the white powder in fits of giggles. But even though he’s tired, Connie still has the energy to spread his limbs out and move them back and forth. “A snow angel for my angel,” he grins, leaning over to nuzzle your cold nose and warm your heart. Until he smacks the snow he was hiding behind his back right into your face. “Prepare to die, Springer!” But you still kiss him and snuggle him when you’re both warming up at home later. Because life would be so dull without the light that is your Connie.

Erwin Smith

Erwin is a man of the outdoors, but he’s also a man of refined taste who loves to spoil you rotten. His perfect winter date is a weekend away to a luxury ski resort. If you like skiing, the two of you spend your time out on the mountain. If you don’t, he’ll spend the morning in the slopes before joining you in your cabin for an afternoon by the fire. Erwin lives to indulge you, whatever you want to spend your time with him doing, he is keen for. A nap curled up in his arms, a dip in the cabin’s hot tub, or something a little more spicy- he’s 100% for all of it. Of course, he ends the day treating you to a five star dinner and top shelf champagne as the sun dips below the white-capped mountains. Erwin is always afraid he doesn’t give you enough of his time, that you deserve more than he can offer. It’s why his dates are so opulent and lavish; he wants you to know he cherishes you above all. “You spoil me too much.” is met with “Anything for you, sweetheart.” Because to him, there is absolutely no such thing. Erwin Smith is hopelessly grateful, and he would give you the moon if you asked it of him.

Levi Ackerman

Levi absolutely abhors the cold and the snow and anything to do with winter. He’s not going outside unless he absolutely has to. But that doesn’t mean he can’t make date night interesting. Glasses of your favourite wine, a dinner you’ve cooked together, and a pile of board games are what he has planned. It’s not exactly relaxing-the two of you get stupidly competitive-but it’s fun. Your loud laughter, Levi’s half hearted disgruntled hmphs when you win (“Is that even a word, brat?” “The Scrabble dictionary says so, loser!”), your feet tangling together under the kitchen table. Levi’s love blooms best in private, and he savours when he can enjoy you like this, homey and cozy and looking at him with pure joy on your pretty face. He knows he isn’t the easiest to love, but you do it with ease and grace and endless patience. It’s why his lips quirk up at the corners when you crush him at Monopoly yet again, immediately going into your dorky yet adorable victory dance. He doesn’t mind losing, not if it means he gets to bask in your gleeful smile, and keep it all for himself.

Reiner Braun

Reiner is a huge romantic, and he simply lives for planning the most romantic, adorably cheesy dates. When it’s a clear, calm night, he’s bundling you up in your outdoor clothes and taking you for a horse-drawn sleigh ride. The two of you sip hot apple cider and talk softly as you glide over the winter landscape. Reiner makes sure you are warm and cozy beneath the heavy blanket, keeping your tucked securely under his arm, right next to his lovesick heart. He grins at your gasp of joy when you see the blaze of colour dance across the sky-he’s planned this all out perfectly. “They’re so beautiful,” comes your soft whisper as you gaze in awe at the majesty of the Northern Lights. Reiner agrees, but truly, the radiant smile on your face is more beautiful to him than any wonder of nature. And when you turn that smile upon him, he knows he wants to bask in it’s glory for the rest of his life. “I’m happy you’re happy,”- and he is.

Porco Galliard

Porco wants to plan the most “perfect” dates but often stumbles a bit in his attempts. He definitely bites off a little more than he can chew planning a skating date, considering the fact he’s never been on skates before. It’s a cute coupley thing to do in winter, and it can’t be that hard, right? Much to his dismay, he learns it really is that hard, as he slips and falls on his ass for the umpteenth time. “Fucking hell,” he wishes he’d picked something less humiliating, but you simply giggle and take him by his mitted hands. “I’ve got you, Pocko.” You spend the date leading him around the ice, smiling and encouraging him until he can make a few shaky moves on his own. The two of you then rest your legs and warm up at your favourite café, where you insist on buying him a donut and extra large peppermint mocha to reward him for all his hard work. He should feel embarrassed but all he feels is a swell of affection as you gently wipe some whipped cream from his upper lip. Porco may be a little rough around the edges, but he knows you’re always gonna be there to smooth him out.

[rouge-variant]

Do you think Levi would marry someone almost 10 years younger than him? Say she's in her twenties and he's in his thirties. She has been through a lot and is an old soul, acts like a mom towards the 104th cadets but also knows when to let loose and be childish. I think at first he would think of her as a brat seeing her getting along with the 104th but starts to get curious why she would hang with them. She grew up in the Underground so she isn't naive. and yes im the same anon as before :D

Hello yet again!! I think this is adorable! I'm not too sure what Levi would do with the age gap but in all honesty if you were at least in your late twenties then I think he would be ok with it. For this I'm not going to specify the age gap but it'll be mentioned that Y/n is older than the 104th cadets. Thanks for returning with more requests and I you enjoy!!!

Levi Ackerman x Y/n:

Good to Know

Trigger Warning: Like mentioned above, there is a age gap. It won't say how old, since some are more sensitive about this than others, but it's made clear that Y/n is closer to Levi's age than the 104th cadets. Also mentions of a 'dummy' or plushie rat used as a way to annoy Y/n

"Sasha, what's in the bag?" You lean against the doorframe of the brunette's room, watching her attempt to hide a very noticeable treat stashed in her pouch.

"Y-Y/n!! What bag, I don't have one?!" Sasha yelped unconvincingly, throwing it behind her pillow and smiling sheepishly at you. This was what, the third time in four months you catch her with something. The trick she uses must be very affective against the supply officer but not to you.

"Sasha, we really need to work on your lying skills. You honestly think that would end up fooling Captain Levi if he caught you? Grab your brush and come sit" You instructed and moved to your bunk in the shared room. She frowned at the eariler comment but any anger faded when you mentioned brushing her hair.

"You don't even have him as your sqaud leader yet you seem to know him so well. Why is that?" She asked sitting on the ground in front of you after grabbing her hairbrush.

You weren't part of Levi squad like the rest of her friends were. Instead you place in Hange's sqaud. But with Hange being Levi's Section Commander, you were almost always with his sqaud.

"Sector Commander Hange talks a lot about him. But somethings are easy to pick up on from just seeing how he interacts with people" you shrug and start brushing her hair. Your fingers run through it first, making sure to remove any bigger knots in a gentler way. Then you switch to the brush to finish the rest. The two of you continued with your conversation branching far away from the captain.

If anyone were to pop their head into the room, they would've mistaken you for Sasha's mother. Despite how young you looked, you were a good few years older than the 104th cadets. No one brought up your age and so you didn't tell too many people. You were closer to Levi's age compared to the kids. But until someone actually questioned it, you were perfectly happy keeping your age a secret. One of your many secrets. You were also from the Underground like the famous captain. You were born there but much of your past was an uncomfortable blur so the rest you thought about it the better.

"So this is where you two ran off" Connie appeared in the doorway, just letting himself in. You were used to it by now as you learned how inseparable Sasha and Connie can be.

"I need your help with something Y/n" Connie's voice was serious, something you rarely heard. Sasha moved so that you could get up to see him.

"What's wrong?" You asked, unaware of the twinkle mischief in his eyes.

"I need your help with something in messhall" he grabbed your arm and pulled you along. Sasha joined since she was in on this.

Levi and Hange were discussing something and you gave them a little wave before entering the kitchen.

"Now what are they up to?" Levi grumbled seeing you three head into the back. Hange shrugged and continued flipping through their notes.

"You know, Y/n's pretty good at keeping the kids in line" they hum and Levi scoffs. He hasn't seen what Hange was talking about. He's only ever seen you getting into trouble with the kids. And it seemed that right now, he was only going to prove Hange wrong.

Your scream ripped through the quiet room and Connie came running out, laughing like a madman. Sasha came out casually and Hange snorted.

"Did it work?" They asked excitedly and Sasha nodded in response.

"It didn't even look that real but now Y/n is out for Connie's head!!!"

"Proves my point Four-Eyes" Levi grumbled, watching your retreating figure.

"How old is she anyways" that was suppose to be a question to himself but he said it loud enough for Hange to notice. Sasha had slipped away to help save Connie.

"She's older than you think Levi" they hum thoughtfully. They smirked slightly as Levi shot them a look to continue.

"Her folder is on my desk if you're curious. Her story isn't mine to tell" they got up, letting him be with his thoughts.

There was very little he knew of you other than your fighting style. You fought with a very agressive offensive style, similar to those he fought against in the Underground when he was younger. Taking Hange up on their offer, he took your folder, planning to reading it tonight.

Levi didn't end up seeing you for the rest of the day or even into the evening. Not that it mattered, he just was able to read the folder without interruptions.

Y/n L/n

Female

Birthdate: xxxx

Former resident of the Underground.

He stopped reading at that point, out of shock. Hange was right, you were older than you seemed. Not only that but you were from the same place as him. That explained your fighting style and your attitude when faced in dangerous situations. Your childish antics were just a result of you finally feeling safe to lower your gaurd. This lead to him starting to try and get to know you more.

One thing led to another and soon enough you spilled your past to him and you learned his in return. He was falling for you hard.

Levi was afraid of falling in love, afraid of being vulnerable to someone else. But after seeing you hold Armin and talk him out of the scary place his nightmare left him in, he knew that this was going to be ok. You could love him and protect him emotionally when he needed it. And probably physically too if it ever came to it.

Levi needed no further evidence as he bought the ring that would bound him with you for the rest of your lives.

[holy-guacamoly]

Lost & Found – Pt.1 (JeanxFem!Reader)

Modern!AU ♡ College!AU ♡ Friends to Lovers ♡ Slowburn Romance

Hello, lovelies! Welcome to my little JeanxFem!Reader series. It will be a short book about two friends slowly falling in love because I know you guys are thirsty af for some slow-burn romance. Also, I am living for the Reader, Connie, Sasha, and Jean friendship in this story. They are the best dumbasses you can wish for. 18+ - MDNI Smut in upcoming chapters Warnings: sexual jokes, consumption of alcohol and drugs, sexual infringement, strong language, slightly ErenxFem!Reader at the beginning

Summary: There is no light without darkness. You were familiar with this famous saying. But who could have thought, that after a terrible night, love blossoms between you and your best friend?

Chapter 1: Rage

“And he took me to this cute cafè on the other side of town. You know, where they sell the croissants I told you about. I would die for them – anyway –“ Sasha continued her monologue about her date with this guy she met at her cooking class. You recalled that his name was something like Nico or Nicolo. But since your friend was known for changing her partners like underwear, you didn’t bother to memorize their names anymore. The two of you were walking across the campus of Trost University, enjoying warm rays of sunlight, as you headed to your next class. “-When I tell you, the croissant wasn’t the only sweet treat I was shoving into my mouth that day.” The brown-haired woman was still rambling about her fling, now laughing at her own joke. You joined with a slight giggle, as you patted your favorite girl’s shoulder. “I hope you were able to taste his filling,” you added with a smirk. Sasha always managed to bring your childish side out, but you didn’t mind at all. Those light-hearted, slightly dumb conversations eased the mind.

All of a sudden you felt a strong arm wrapping around your shoulder, while your friend seemed to experience the same sensation, as you heard her gasp. In addition, an unmistakable voice spoke, “Sash, don’t tell me you already hooked up with that Nicolo-Guy!” There was no judgment in the person's tone, just pure admiration. Your eyes wandered up and you saw no other than your best friend Jean Kirschstein, pinning you securely to his side. You looked ridiculously small next to his huge form. As Jean offered Sasha a high-five over your head, you took the opportunity to greet the young man walking next to the brown-haired female, with a nod. Connie Springer gifted you a beaming smile in return. Like always, nothing seemed to be able to dim his mood.

You couldn’t help but smile to yourself as you wandered to your classes together.

The four of you were inseparable since middle school. You created so many fond memories together. The highs and the lows, mistakes, and victories were always shared, creating a strong bond. Clumsy, hormonal-driven teenagers blossomed into young adults, side by side.

You remembered meeting Sasha when she stole a Muffin from the school’s cafeteria. The helpless girl begged you not to tell anyone. Of course, you agreed under the condition to also snatch you a treat. The rest is history. A few months later you bonded with Connie, with who you had chemistry class. He blew up half of the lab because he sneezed into an acid mixture. Everyone was so mad at his clumsy-ass, while you couldn’t help but laugh. When all your classmates turned their back on him you honored this poor boy with your company. And last but not least, you crossed paths with Jean. The friendship between the two of you didn’t come as easy. At first, you felt kind of startled by his ridiculously high self-esteem, but when you joined an art course together, you got to know his soft side. Since then you were like family.

“Oi, Y/N! I am talking to you,” Connie snatched you out of your thoughts. As you looked around you noticed that you already stood in front of room 304, where your English Literature Class was about to take place. The boys seemed ready to go, since their History of Art Course, normally was held in 310. “You are also coming to Historia’s party tonight, right?” he repeated his question. Before you were even able to answer, Sasha chimed in. “Of course! I mean, Yeager will be there as well and Y/N wouldn’t miss a chance to exchange spittle with him.” Your nose wrinkled in disgust at your friend mentioning trading salvia, while the boys chuckled like children. Eren Yeager was a young barkeeper, working at the Irish Pub next to campus. You had been out on a few dates, but nothing major as you liked to keep things casual. “First of all, it’s none of your business whose spit I swallow, and second, I wouldn’t miss a chance to get drunk with you all,” you replied, rolling your eyes playfully. “Great! See you tonight then,” Jean said, turned on his heels, and waved you goodbye. Connie followed closely behind him.

Historia Reiss’ was a preppy girl, born into a wealthy family. But her parties were everything other than preppy. Once a year, when her parents were out of town, she loaded her huge mansion with people and made sure they had the best time of their lives. No one ever managed to come out of a Reiss Party sober. It wasn’t an understatement to say that those events filled the whole university with utter excitement. No one knew what would happen. Last time someone had a threesome in the pool and some guy managed to burn down the garden shed in the backyard. It was simply fantastic.

As you stepped out of the Uber you had shared with Sasha, the commotion outside promised another wild ride. The sun hasn’t even completely dawned, but the place was already packed. On the front lawn, some members of the track team were doing a keg stand. Beer dripped from their faces, their clothes soaked. You saw one guy from your study group already puking on the neatly trimmed grass. “Pathetic,” Sasha murmured at his sight with a playful grin. As you went up the marble staircase, to the almost palace-like front door, you were greeted by Historia who was about to let some other guests in. Clearly intoxicated she shrieked, “Giiiiirls! Look at you hotties! Welcome!” She hugged you both at the same time, her breath smelling like the tequila shot she must have taken. You patted her back and gave her head a gentle caress. Historia maybe was a rich brat, but she sure was lovely. You always liked her. As you stayed in the overly emotional embrace your gaze wandered over the sight in front of you. An animated crowd filled the rooms with busy energy. Vibrating Hip-Hop beats underlined the scenery. Guests danced in one of the two living rooms, while the kitchen seemed to be reserved for chatting and re-filling empty cups. The bathrooms always were occupied with either someone throwing up or fucking. Those who sought some quiet had the opportunity to chill at the pool before this place also would get crowded.

“Yo, my favorite dumbasses!” You heard another drunk person calling. It was Connie who weaved over to you. One hand was holding the infamous red plastic cup while the other was grabbing onto a fat joint. “Hey, light-weight! Be a sweetheart and pass me that,” you answered happily as you snatched the spliff out of between his digits. Historia was long gone, showering some other guests with her affection. You inhaled deeply and felt all the worries of a day of hard work leave your system. “Where is Jean?” you yelled over the vibrating bass and passed the blunt to Sasha. Springer gave you a naughty grin and you knew exactly what that meant. Jean was a flirt. Whenever he had the opportunity to get involved with a girl he would take it. And this was a party full of extremely attractive people. For sure his tongue was deep in another person's mouth. You knew that you shouldn’t care, but sometimes, when your intoxicated mind made the walls of logic crumble, you couldn’t help but feel a little bit of envy. Maybe you were jealous of the thought, that someday a woman would come into his life and consume all his time. Who would you talk to when things got rough? When self-doubt crawled up your veins? Sure Sasha and Connie were there for you too, but Jean understood you on another level. He never judged, just listened. And after reflecting on the things said he always gave you the best advice. And his hugs…His fucking hugs. Whenever you were falling apart, your friend's strong arms were ready to embrace you. No one else would be able to gather your pieces and stitch them back together as Jean would. This man may be the definition of a flirty, cocky asshole for everyone else, but he hid a part just reserved for your eyes. You were sure that all those women, who thought they knew Jean, were only in love with his facade.

“Gosh, I need a drink,” you murmured to yourself as you acknowledged your deep thoughts. You shouldn’t be dwelling on something that was just in your imagination.

You should get hammered.

As the hours passed and the pink of the drowning sun vanished completely, your sense of morality also seemed to disappear. After endless rounds of shots and dancing, you finally found yourself running around alone to gather some people for beer pong. You never were the overly competitive type, but your drunk self was in to destroy someone's dignity.

As you maneuvered your fancy-dressed form through the crowd, you suddenly felt a slight tug on your arm. “Hey sweet thing,” a raspy voice whispered. A pair of lips hovered right above your ear. The cologne entering your nostrils, gave you a familiar feeling. “Eren!” you exclaimed, beyond excited. He wasn’t too flattered by your outburst of happiness, since clearly anything would delight you by now. You threw yourself at him and wrapped your arms around his neck. His breath also smelled like he had a good share of drinks. A small smile washed over his expression as he said, “You look so hot, baby. I’ve been looking for you all night.” To underline his statement he pulled you into an intense kiss. Without further ado, your tongues danced in unison, while the deep beat of some drum and bass song massaged your muscles. When you closed your eyes for the kiss, all of a sudden you felt like you actually had one drink too much. Without fixating on your surroundings it was nearly impossible for you to keep balance. Your hands grabbed onto Eren’s shoulders and you felt his grip around your waist tighten. “'Ren?” you breathed as you broke the kiss. “I think I need to sit down.” At this point, you weren’t able to read his expression but the two of you began to move. So you construed that he must have understood.

You walked for what seemed like an eternity. Leaning against your lover and climbing up an endless amount of stairs. Finally, the loud music transitioned into muffled sounds. As you looked back up you saw that Eren dragged you into an empty bedroom. From the looks of it, this had to be Historias parent’s chamber. “Ffffancy,” you said lazily and emphasized the first letter way too much. What you didn’t notice was Yaeger rolling his eyes. “Damn, sweet thing. You are wasted. What did you do during these hours?” Before you spoke you tumbled over to the king-sized bed and let yourself fall onto the exquisite mattress. Your head gently thudded against the delicate fabric. “Well, I had three Gin Tonics, six shots of whatever, and a few hits from Connies big, fat blunts,” you slurred. By mentioning all substances in your system, they seemed to take over more than ever. Like draped in cotton you could hear Eren chuckling, followed by the mattress shifting under his weight. You still laid straight on your back, with your legs bent over the edge. There was no way you were able to gather the strength to look at him right now. “You know,” Eren began as he trailed a finger over your thigh. “I really missed you.” The way he said it wasn’t sweet. He wasn’t warm or gentle like Jean. Yaeger always had something animalistic lingering in his voice.

A frustrated sigh escaped your lips at the thought of your best friend.

Even when you were with Eren-Big-Dick-Yeager (this really was his nickname on campus), this man still managed to consume your thoughts. “And I absolutely missed your pussy,” the brown-haired man added coyly to his monologue. Simultaneously his fingers found their way up to your breasts. You grew overwhelmed and annoyed by the situation. Everything was spinning, your breath shallow and this motherfucker had nothing better to do than seduce your drunk ass. You managed to gather yourself and hissed, “Fuck, Eren. I am not in the mood right now.” As you tried to sit up, you felt the weight of his hand pushing you back. Not exactly with force, but neither gentle. “Shhh sweets, I will make you feel so good. You know you can trust me,” he whispered in your ear. Normally you would be dripping if he did this, but right now it scared you.

“Fuck off!” you yelled because you felt Eren’s hand wandering under the hem of your pants. The sudden wave of adrenaline gave you a small, clear moment. You sat up, putting power in your movement, and pushed the man off your body. Since he was broadly built and tall this didn’t do much to him and he grabbed your wrist in no time. By now you were standing but the sudden movement threatened to throw you off balance. Clearly running out of patience he growled, “Don’t be such a bitch.” Hearing this slur, you felt a pure furry bubble up in your core. No amount of weed could soothe you this much, to just accept such behavior.

As you were about to hit Eren with your free hand, to put him in his place, the bedroom door crashed open. Both of your heads snapped over to the source of the noise. A slightly too loud sigh of relief made its way out of your lungs as you saw Jean standing in the door frame. He had his arm wrapped around the waist of a girl from your literature class – Mikasa. She tightly hugged his arm, staring at him with adoration. The couple was obviously in need of some private time. First gifted with an expression of pure bliss, Jean’s face was now covered in ice. At first, he thought you and Yeager were doing some kinky play, but when he saw the horror in your e/c orbs, the blood froze in his veins. “The fuck are you doing, Yeager?” he asked sternly as he let go of Mikasa. A little pout formed on her lips, because this wasn’t leading to Jean being buried between her thighs anymore.

No one spoke. Heavy silence still filled the room for what felt like minutes. “I am not asking you again. What did you do to her?” Jean added pressure to his tone. Eren still held onto your wrist harshly but talked with the calmest deminer. “That’s none of your business, Kirschtein.” The adrenaline from your short high wore off and you were able to feel the pain of Yaeger's iron grip. A pathetic whimper escaped your lips at the sensation of pain.

This was enough to send Jean over the edge.

He stomped over to the two of you and slapped Eren’s arm away from your body with force. You tumbled and almost fell because of the quick movement. Jean violently grasped on the brown-haired’s shirt and threw all sorts of insults right in his face. Eren just remained static, with a cocky smirk. Gutwretching fear lingered inside of you. You weren’t quite sure if it was because you’ve never seen your best friend like this before or that the reality of what could have happened finally hit you. “Yo Kirschtein, chill. I didn’t know she’s your girl. Must be a needy whore, since she still longed for my dick,” was all Eren responded snarkily at the end of this tirade of hate. With this said, you could have sworn to see everything in slow motion. Clear as day, you noticed every muscle of Jean’s hand flex as he curled it up into a fist. The hairs on his arm were standing. You also made out every inch of movement as he lunged his arm to shoot his knuckles right into his opponent's face. Like in a dramatic movie scene, hit flesh vibrated in waves, while tiny droplets of blood painted silky bed sheets.

Jean hit him.

One time.

Two times.

Three times.

Until he finally beat this god-forsaken smile out of Eren Yaeger's face.

Mikasa called your best friends name in panic a few times but he didn’t seem to acknowledge her. He was in a complete trance until you managed to regain your ability to speak. “Jean! Stop it! He’s had enough!” you wailed. The young man paused in his motion and mechanically turned his head in your direction. As he saw your upset face, Jean immediately dropped Eren, which fell back on the bed with a loud groan. Waterfalls of blood pooled out of his nose and his lips were lacerated. Reality washed over Jean, as he looked straight into your teary eyes. He just battered a guy he barely knew. What got into him?

“Let us go, please,” you whispered desperately. A weak, assuring smile made its way across your lips. A few seconds passed, Jean’s gaze wandered hectically between you and Eren before he finally walked over to you. Like you were a delicate, fragile flower, the young man took your small hand in his big one and guided you out of the room. He maneuvered you past Mikasa, not even giving her a single glance.

None of you spoke while you fought your way out of the mansion. You wanted to get as far away as possible. During your walk down the neat alley with all those perfect houses, you tried not to look at Jean. Images of the last few minutes rushed through your head.

Finally, when the sound of cicadas was louder than the obnoxious shrill music, you dared to give him a sheepish glance. His expression was unreadable. Jean stared into nothing, the muscles of his jaw tensed so much that you saw them moving. But even though his whole body was in fight mode, he still caged your hand most gently, like he was afraid that you would vanish if he let go.

"Please don’t stare at me,” your friend finally whined. You must have been fixated on him for too long. As your cheeks flushed in a light shade of pink you looked down. In a mere whisper, you said, “Sorry. I am just worried. Are you okay?” A sudden vibration was sent through your body as Jean started to laugh. “You ask if I am okay, Y/N? Did Yeager hit your head?” Even if this situation was more than serious you couldn’t help but join him. “No seriously,” Jean added, “How are you? Did he hurt you?” Suddenly his voice sounded mellow, studded with care. Again your eyes fixated on the ground. Embarrassment made its way to your core. You felt reckless and stupid because you let yourself be lulled by a filthy, pussy-drunk barkeeper. And all above you felt idiotic for actually letting him fuck you in the past. It was disgusting that the two of you shared such intimacy.

“Hey, hey, don’t cry,” Jean hushed you and pulled you into a hug. You didn’t notice the tears painting your cheeks, but he did. Shivers rushed through your spine and pathetic sobs filled the air. With your best friend's scent washing over you, reassuring you that you were finally safe, you gave in to your emotions. Every heartbreaking sound made Jean pull you closer. He made sure to hold all of your broken pieces together. Your fingers grabbed onto the thin fabric of his shirt for support. “I am so stupid, Jean. How was I this blind?” you sobbed. Jean’s fingers caressed your head by now and his chin rested on your top. You were sure that this was the only reason you hadn’t had a full breakdown by now. “Yeager is the dumb fucker here. He is a manipulative asshole. You did nothing wrong,” your friend assured you. A weak smile washed over your features. You heard the honesty in his voice and it made you feel a little bit better. As he felt the corners of your mouth rise against his chest he added, "And his man-bun is stupid." You peeled your cheek off his chest and laughed. “Yeah, it is," you agreed. Without a warning, Jean rose his hand to cup your cheek. His thumb gently stroked your delicate skin. He mirrored your smiling expression, relieved that he was able to soothe your emotional pain. "How about I bring you home, Y/N?" You were about to caress his hand in return as you noticed him hissing under your touch. Quickly you moved away his palm to inspect it. Deep cuts were slashed into Kirschteins knuckles, due to the force he laid on your abuser. Also, slight bruises began to form on his pale skin.

“Jean! Your hand is hurt! Fuck, I think it’s sprained!”

The adrenaline and the alcohol must have kept the pain at bay. Jean looked confused at his knuckles like he hadn’t noticed his injury at all. “Nah, it’s just a scratch. Really not that bad,” he answered, trying to play it cool. You rolled your eyes at this pretentious behavior. The typical Jean was showing. Sternly you told him, “This is not the time for you to play the manly man! I’m going to clean that and put some bandages on. No excuses!”

With that, you took the lead and guided the two of you to your and Sasha's shared apartment. At this point, you didn’t know that your night only had just begun. ❥ Next Chapter

[shackermanwrites]

Next Time

Summary: "Did you know, when clouds are unhappy, they will cry their heart out that’s why there are rains? But the sky would laugh at them that’s why there are thunders, isn’t funny?" 

You loved and chased him for four years but you suddenly stopped on the last year of senior year. Levi didn't know why, but now he knows.

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Fem!Reader 

Warnings & Content: Death, Angst

Word Count:  2507

The wind dances swiftly through the air as soon as Levi stepped out of his car, he looked up to the dull, gloomy sky that seems to be pouring rain any minute from now.

He remembers how you told him how you felt the joy when it is raining, how you felt relaxed and calm as the tiny droplets of rain land on your skin. He couldn’t possibly forget the first day you talked to him, the weather was the same as today.

How could he forget that exact moment? You looked ethereal when the two of you first met.

He remembers everything.

-

The joy and excitement on your face as you entered your classroom was painted on your face, it was your first day of junior year. You're excited yet nervous to start your first day of high school since you will see new faces, and you get to experience a unique environment for you.

You carefully scan the room as you try to think about where you should sit for the rest of the year, you could sit on the first row and be that student who aces their classes, but you could also sit at the back of the class and make lots of friends while having fun for the rest of the year.

Yet your eyes land on the third-row seat, a boy who is sitting silently on his chair while looking over to the window with no expression painted on his face.

Slowly, your feet started walking towards him. You nervously grip on the strap of your bag when you stopped in front of him. He didn’t even glance at your side to acknowledge your presence.

“Hello,” you cheerfully greet him as soon as you sat on the chair beside him. The raven-haired boy didn’t bother to answer your greetings nor glance at you.

‘He must be having a bad day early this morning,’ you thought.

You placed your arm on the table of your seat and rested your chin on the palm of your hand as you looked at the sky he was looking at. You are invested in what the boy was looking at, yet you only found a dull sky and leaves swaying gracefully on the ground. You opened your mouth to engage in a conversation with him but thunder stopped you from doing so and that made the boy flinch from its sound.

‘Cute’ you thought.

A giggle escaped your mouth as you looked at him, this time, you were cut off not by a clap of thunder but by his beautiful steel gray eyes that match the shade of the sky. Your smile slowly fades as you get lost in how mesmerizing his eyes are as he looks at you with an annoyed look to hide the blush on his face.

“Hey, sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh at you it's just that- oh, I'm Elide by the way what's your name?”

“My name’s Levi.” He replied

You gave him the sweetest smile you could give that day, even if his face screams annoyance from your presence. Yes, you gave him your smile and your name that day, but why did you include your heart.

-

Ever since that day, you would always sit next to him in class and engage in small talks with him, he sometimes answers, but he mostly stayed quiet. You help him with history subject and sometimes buy snacks for him since he doesn’t leave the classroom that often during breaks. You consider him as a friend.

Your friendship with him lasted for a year, but eighth grade changed when you already acknowledged your feelings for him. You were just a child, a foolish child who was scared to have regrets so you confessed the feelings you have for him.

Eight grade year came fast and this is the year that you confessed to Levi. You told him how you felt for him, how his eyes made the butterflies in your stomach fly, and how you felt happy whenever you see him, especially when he smiles, even if you only saw it once.

Yet you did not get the answer you wished you had. Instead, he pushed you away with all his strength. Its not like you were hoping that he would return the feeling to you.

“Stay away from me from now on.” That is the only answer you got and the last word he said to you since then. You watched him as his back slowly vanish in front of your eyes, but he never saw the tears that run through your cheeks.

-

It's been four years since you confessed to Levi, and you're now in your senior year, only months left before you graduate and start college.

You were not alone in those four years, you became friends with Sasha, Connie and Jean, and you also saw Levi with his new friends Hange and Erwin. They don’t hate you as much as Levi did since they would smile at you when you pass by each other on the corridors, and you would often exchange hi and hello’s.

In those four years, you never stopped loving him, you didn’t give up on him, and it never crossed your mind even though he would always ignore you as if you don’t exist in his world.

Since that day, Levi never talked to you so you would constantly write letters for him and slid them in his locker. You would tell him how boring math and history class was, you would ask him how were his weekend and holidays. You would leave candies on his desk every morning, you never saw him eating it but you also didn’t saw him throw it. But he still didn’t acknowledge you, it's like he forgot you even exist.

It pains deeply you but you stopped writing letters to him in your last year of senior year. You stopped giving him candies and you stopped looking at him with admiration like you used to. You don’t want to put an end to this, but you know deep inside of your heart that you have to.

“Excuse me for asking, but you don’t buy those candies anymore for your loverboy there. Is everything okay? He didn’t do anything to you, right? Jean and Connie will beat his ass up if he did.” You looked at Sasha who is busy writing on his notebook while sipping on her orange juice.

The three of them had always been there for you, the moments and memories you have shared with them are the most precious thing you treasure wholeheartedly.

Sasha and Connie are the persons who can make you laugh till your lungs and stomach hurt as you gasp out for air and tears would form under your eyes. They are your serotonins in life as they act like your younger siblings. On the other hand, Jean is like an older brother to you, he is overly protective to all of you and he is the person you would talk to when you're down and sad.

You smiled at those memories and the feelings you treasure.

You shake your head and glance over to the boy quietly writing on his notebook while the two of his friends are currently having a conversation. The first boy that made your heart flutter, the boy who made you like tea since it is his favorite drink, the boy who has the most mesmerizing eyes you’ve seen and soft hair that you still feel on your fingertips. Levi.

A small smile was already curved on your lips just by looking at him, you didn’t notice, but Sasha, Connie, and jean did. They looked at each other, and sadness are visible in their eyes.

Levi subconsciously looks at your side and his eyes widened a little when he met yours, you were in pain when you once again saw those steel-gray eyes, those pinchable cheeks that he has and those lips. You gave him a soft smile before you started writing on your notebook once again.

“No, he didn’t do anything, I gave up since I'm tired of chasing.” You softly replied to Sasha.

Liar.

You never did.

-

Levi opened the door of his car so Hange and Jean can get out. Nothing has changed over the years, Levi and Hange are still friends, along with Erwin. They manage to get through college and find a stable job. Hange became a Chemistry professor at the university she went to in college. Erwin is now an accountant at a famous bank, Sasha is now a flight stewardess and Connie's a pilot, Jean’s now an architect, and Levi is now a medical technologist. They all have their lives put together. They are contented and in some terms happy.

Levi held the Bouquet tightly in his hands as they walk over to your spot. He is neatly dressed as you would expect from him, he's nervous.

Hange placed her hand on his shoulder, trying to calm Levi down.

The three of them are out of words, and they don’t know what to say.

“She never stopped loving you, you know, she never did and she never tried.” Jean softly muttered loud enough for the three of them to hear.

“She-“ Jean choked on his own words while he nervously pulls something out from his wallet before handing it to Levi.

Levi can't feel anything, hell he can’t even move an inch of his body as it became numb, but he still manages to grab the paper jean gave.

“It's for you.” Jean said before excusing himself to return to the car.

He can’t do this right now.

“I’ll… leave you for a moment, I’ll be back.” Hange softly said while gently rubbing Levi’s back before leaving.

Hange only knew you by your name, but she knows deep inside that you and her could get along very well. She only had one memory of you, it's when she tripped on the stairs and her science project got ruined, people started laughing at her instead of helping her, she swears at everyone in the hall that day except for you. You helped her that day pick up her project without hesitation and with a smile that never left your mouth. She knows you’re a good person.

“Brat,” Levi starts while looking at you with those same gray eyes. He never changed.

He slowly opens the letter you wrote for him with his shaky hands as he tries his very best to compose himself.

-

Dear Levi,

Hello Levi, it is me! I'm sure you know me because if you already forgot about me, then I'm going to be so sad, just kidding. Did you know, when clouds are unhappy, they will cry their heart out that’s why there are rains? But the sky would laugh at them that’s why there are thunders, isn’t funny? Do you remember the first time we have met Levi? The sky was laughing at the sky, and maybe it was even laughing at us. You know, that day, I told you that it might rain, but you said that have hope because it will not rain. I did hope and it still rained, its funny because nine years have already passed and I'm still hoping, I'm hoping for myself, for my friends and family and for you. I'm dying Levi, I have leukemia and I already stopped the medication since the last year of senior year but you gave me hope to live and to fight then. Your eyes did gave me hope. I want to live Levi, I wanted to stay but I know I can't anymore, but I did not regret every single thing that has happened to me since it is all my choice.

I never hated you for mistreating me in high school, I never did. In fact, I am thankful for you and I'm grateful that I met you. Existing is barely possible but living with you is a miracle. The candies that I gave you, you know that I was looking at you every morning watching if you would throw them didn’t you? So you didn’t throw then, not a single one. I was curious, but I never dared to ask yet I also don’t want to regret now that I didn’t asked the reason why but it doesn’t matter now. Thank you Levi for everything, I don’t regret anything, so I hope you also have no regrets from the past. But hey, live your life to the fullest, don’t worry, I got your back.

Oh, also, did I tell you that you have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen? I hope you know how much I love your eyes but not as much as I love you Levi.

See you, Levi.

-With love

Levi’s chest tightens as his body becomes numb and his ears started ringing. He brings the letter you wrote on his chest before drops of tears started escaping his eyes.

Levi never hated you, he never did. In fact, he loved and adored you just as much as you did. You were the first person who dared to talk to him continuously for years, you were the only person who cared for him despite how hard he pushed you before and he hated himself that he did not have the chance to express how he cared for you.

The day you confessed, his stomach tightens and his heart pounds as if it wanted to leave his chest, he wanted to say that he felt the same way but he can't, he doesn’t know how so instead, he pushed you away into his life. He stopped talking to you, hoping that you will hate him and leave him alone but you never did.

He constantly pushed you out of his life while you constantly pull him in yours. The both of you were only hurting yet none of you noticed.

He did regret pushing you away constantly and that is when he starts telling himself that he doesn’t deserve you, he was so scared that he might break you if he tries to apologize for what he did to you.

He's now late as he looks down on your tomb. Your smile that brings comfort to him was already gone.

You were gone.

The sky slowly becomes gray once again before letting out thunder above him.

Was the sky laughing at him? At you? At the both of you?

Levi slowly kneels as he places the flowers on your tomb, lost of words as he stayed silent while tiny drops of rain started hitting his skin.

He immediately put your letter inside his wallet, scared that it might get wet from the rain, it’s the only thing that he had that reminds him of you.

He looks at the same dull sky the day you’ve met, only this time, the sky is crying along with him.

“I love you more, more than you know. See you.”

[pr1ncessm00n]

for sale or wanted → jean kirstein x fem!reader

jean’s group

prev | next

jean and connie live together

eren and armin live together

they are all mutual friends with sasha, ymir and historia. but everyone except connie knows about Y/N since Y/N was a late transfer freshmen year and she did not grow up with any of them. for some reason their paths have not crossed. Y/N and the boys only know about each other through conversation but not in person.

eren is a full time gamer, he makes quite a bit of money with promotions/ads and streaming.

armin occasionally streams but he does it more for fun than clout

all of the boys, ymir and mikasa are 2nd year university students.

while sasha and Y/N are first year. (ik the grad years are kind of off pls forgive)

Historia is first year but she goes to Marley University as opposed to Trost U.

Connie wants to be famous so bad so he’s one of those accounts that just rips off recycled tweets, constantly trying to acquire that internet fame. he mooches off eren and armin’s success sometimes. he’ll beg them to mention him or something in their streams. oddly enough he’s acquired a sort of mini fanbase from both his online presence and eren’s fans. but don’t get me wrong Connie will never stoop so low as to make “straight” thirst trap tiktoks or just posting the disco filter with a relatable quote. he’s more of a random funny guy as opposed to situational funny.

jean is just chilling, majoring in pre-law. he’s basically the househusband living with connie and their apartment is the unspoken meeting place of the boys. he’s in soccer and has ongoing bets with eren about who will score the most goals by the end of the season. usually always result in arguments. but his online presence is literally just his scattered thoughts. he’s unintentionally funny.

connie payed someone to hack into jean’s account and put a horse next to his display name. jean can’t erase it.

also forgot to mention that all the boys except armin are in soccer.

armin is in the chess club. secretly though because he knows the boys will clown him.

a/n: okay longish kind of post tonite :D but yeah i know almost nothing about streaming/twitch/gaming besides random information ive accumulated reading fics so i hope this was okay :)) if not please feel free to comment corrections :] anyways i kind of made this introduction longer to give a little more backstory, i didn’t give so much info on the girls bc i feel like the next chapter will give more insight into their personality and whatnot. thank you for reading 🤍

taglist: @usernamehere91

[xwing-baby]

Impulse: Remedy (Javier Peña x Reader)

Summary: Top of your class, the DEA have sent you to Colombia to be the poster child for their new ‘placement program’. You’re thrown in at the deep end into the drug war. With Agent Peña as your mentor, what could possibly go wrong?

Warnings: Rookie has really terrible coping mechanisms. Drug use, alcohol, swearing, derogatory language, smoking, mentions of murder(?)

Word Count: 3.5k

A/N: Sorry for the delay lads, for some reason this chapter did not want to be written! As always don’t sleep with your boss and don’t do drugs unless their prescription :P

<-- Previous Chapter  // Masterlist //  Next Chapter -->

-- 

You were exhausted. You hadn’t slept for more than an hour after leaving Javier’s apartment. Not for lack of trying, you thought your previous activities would have worn you out. But no. You were too scared to sleep, not wanting to deal with any nightmares that might occur so you sat on your dusty old couch, drank a vat of coffee and waited until the rest of the city woke up. 

You cursed under your breath when you saw Steve’s truck had already gone by the time you got downstairs. It was Connie’s volunteering day at the hospital, he always took her early. You had to go with Javi. You sat on the wall outside the apartment, smoking a cigarette and waiting for Javier to come outside. You had no idea what you were supposed to say to him, how were you supposed to act. You couldn’t really pretend like nothing had happened, sleeping with him like that was not something you could brush under the rug. But you didn’t want to talk to him about it, that would make it real. A real action with real consequences. If anyone found out that would be the end of your time here, and quite possibly the end of your time in the DEA entirely. 

Eventually Javier came outside, spotted you on the wall and waved. You got up, chucked the packet of cigarettes in your hand to him before you stubbed out your own and got into the truck. 

“So, do you want to talk about last night?” He asked as he lit a new cigarette.

“Not particularly. There isn’t really much to say is there?” 

“Not really,” He shrugged, “You’re not in love with me now, right?” 

“In your fucking dreams Peña. You weren’t that good,” You laughed at his audacity. You were lying, he was very good at it. But you weren’t in love with him. No, you couldn’t allow yourself even if you were. 

“You bitch,” He tried to be serious but your laugh was contagious. 

Javi immediately felt relieved, he’d spent all night worrying about you. He really didn’t want the sex to ruin everything you had going as a team. He was a little scared he had scared you off entirely but now you were laughing in his passenger seat as if nothing had ever happened all his worries were laid to rest. 

“It happened and that’s it. We don’t need to make it a thing,” You said.

“Agreed,” 

“Awesome, let’s go to work then,” 

And just like that, it was like nothing had ever happened. Back to piles of paperwork, chasing up lazy cops for their reports and trying desperately to avoid Carrillo. It was going to take time to get over what you had seen him do. You didn’t want to see him, let alone be left alone with him. You’d pushed all responsibility for anything related to him onto Javier, who in return passed you more of his paperwork. It was a fair trade off. 

At your desk, hummin away to yourself you could almost convince yourself you were fine. Thanks to the never ending cup of coffee and the sugar doughnuts you found for lunch, your energy levels were back up high. All reminders of the night before were out of sight and you were so consumed in work you didn’t notice as the day came to a close. 

“Good night last night?” Steve asked across the desk.

“Huh?” You looked up from your work. Steve motioned to his neck, and you immediately cringed. You had forgotten about the hickey. “Oh, um yeah I guess,” You pulled your jacket back on, despite the heat, as the collar would cover the mark again. 

“I thought you and Peña were out in the jungle for that lead. You would have got back super late,” Steve said. 

“Everyone’s got their vices, Murphy,” Javier reappeared, jumping to your aid. Steve looked suspiciously between you and Javi. 

“Guess you two are becoming more similar by the day,” He chuckled to himself, shaking any ideas from his mind. 

“Guess so,” You agreed. You and Javi shared a glance while Steve looked away, both of you well aware of the shit storm that would kick up if Steve found out. He loved you and Javi a lot, but there is no way he would just skip over such an event. You flashed a smile, silently thanking Javi for stepping in for you, before he went back to work again. 

To avoid any further questioning, you kept your jacket on for the remainder of the day, rather enduring the heat and cursing Javier for leaving a mark, than having anymore prying questions from Steve. When you finally gave up struggling with your mountain of paperwork, Steve offered you a ride home which you took gladly.

“You and Javi slept together last night, huh?” Steve asked as you rolled out of the embassy. Startled, you immediately went on the defense and laughed.

“Wh-what no!” You spluttered.

“I’m not an idiot, Rookie,” Steve raised an eyebrow at you. You didn’t know what to say, so shook your head and shrugged, “So Javi was talking out of his ass earlier?” He said. Your stomach immediately dropped. 

“Who’s he been talking to?” All laughter was gone from your voice. If Javi had said something that was it. Why on earth would he say anything? 

“So something did happen?” Steve exclaimed, happy that his hunch was right.

“Steve,” You sighed heavily. Relieved for only a moment before more dread piled on. 

“I can’t believe you two,” He said shaking his head, “I mean I was kind of expecting it with Javi’s reputation but I thought you had some standards at least,” 

“You weren’t there, you don’t get it. It wasn’t anything meaningful just- things happen sometimes,” You sighed, “Did he actually say anything to you?” 

“No,” He spoke more sympathetically now, “but I figured something was up, you’ve been acting weird all morning,” 

“That’s more to do with the lack of sleep,” You explained, “Yesterday got a bit… dark. I don’t think I slept at all,” 

“Carrillo?” Steve asked. You nodded solemnly, “You’ll get used to it,” 

You didn’t get used to it. That night haunted you. You couldn’t sleep, every time you shut your eyes the tortured man's face stared back at you. You were practically intolerable come the end of the week. You’d fallen asleep at your desk on multiple occasions, snapped at everyone in the office, and drank enough coffee to fill an Olympic swimming pool. You made a secretary cry by snapping at her over some missing evidence and, had broken the phone on your desk. 

As bad as your week had ended up being you still had to go out at the end of it. Instead of curling up with a movie and takeout you had to attend María’s family’s party. You didn’t know why you were invited but you definitely couldn’t back out of it. You’d hoped by now you would have cheered up, that you would be excited to let loose but you were miserable.

The party itself was gorgeous. Set out in the countryside, an hour from Medellin, the hills made for a beautiful backdrop. The Parreño’s summer house was exactly as you had expected, lavish and decadent. Courtyards filled with marble statues and paintings by various famous artists covered the walls. Lights were strung up around the garden between the pool house and a gazebo creating a colourful glow out onto the golden sky. 

The air was full of conversation and music. Even though you were surrounded by people who would kill you if they found out who you really were, somehow with a drink in your hand you felt a little more relaxed. María had leant you a dress, a simple little black number, and fixed your makeup in the car ride here while excitedly telling you about her cousin from Argentina she was going to set you up with. You were at the very least, on the way to being happy. 

María dragged you around introducing you to so many people you couldn’t remember their names. You gave up trying after ten different people María introduced as her auntie. You smiled and politely complimented their outfit or their hair and moved on. That was until you finally recognised someone. Senator Parreño, a regular face in your life. You prayed he wouldn’t recognise you, you had only met him once, sitting in the back of the ambassador's office while they spoke about something. Like most people, he ignored you that day and hopefully he wouldn’t have a clue now.

“Dad this is my friend, Isabela,” María introduced you. You were taken back for a moment. You knew her family was rich, but a senator for a father made them powerful too. Far more influence and scandal with their new link to Escobar too. 

“Nice to meet you,” You smiled and shook his hand. The senator looked puzzled.

“Do I know you from somewhere?” He asked. Your heart skipped a beat. 

“Oh stop it Dad I talk about her all the time, she’s been to our house a lot,”

“No, no it’s from somewhere else,” He squinted at you, looking you up and down. You could feel yourself sweating as you nervously took a big gulp of the cocktail in your hand.

“Isabela works at the American embassy papa, maybe you’ve just seen her there,” María said.

“I am a secretary,” You added quickly, “Usually running around the place, you probably saw me then,” You laughed nervously. Outwardly, you knew you looked normal but inside you were panicking massively.

“Ah I see,” He nodded, not entirely convinced. Luckily before he could interrogate you further or work out who you actually were, María linked arms with you and pulled your attention away.

“Come on, I just spotted Carlos. You will love him,” 

--

Three things you had learnt about Carlos. One, he could and should be in a magazine. He was stunningly handsome in a shirt with far too many buttons undone you were practically drooling over him. Two, he was smart. An engineer. A very upstanding career especially compared to the occupation of most of the people at the party. And three, he really liked cocaine. That part did let him down quite a bit.

Hidden away from the prying eyes of parents and older generations, María, Diego, Carlos and multiple others you did not remember the names of, sat around listening to Carlos rave about the new recipe his friend had told him about. You listened carefully, if your hangover didn’t delete this information in the morning it would be great. Could finally have something to show for your weeks with María. 

Carlos pulled out a pack of the new cocaine and poured out a good pile. You watched them all take a line. Part of you was interested in seeing what it was like. It must be good if everyone was so addicted to the stuff. You handled some much of the powder on a daily basis but you’d never even tried it. Seemed almost ridiculous. Maybe it was what you needed to finally relax a little, the alcohol wasn’t hitting the spot. One line wouldn’t kill you.

“Want some?” María offered, wiping her nose of residue. You shook your head. 

“I’m going to the bathroom,” You announced, standing up from your seat on the couch. You climbed over María out of the circle of people. You could use their distraction to your advantage now. Now María wasn’t holding on to you you could actually go and investigate. Now with two Narcos connected attendees at least and the revelation that Senator Parreño was María’s father, any information you could find giving a definite link would be huge. 

“Don’t be a pussy Isabela!” Diego hollered. 

“Oh leave her alone, she’s only going for a moment,” María shoved her boyfriend playfully, “She’ll do it later,” 

“Pacing myself,” You agreed with a smile. 

“Miss you already!” María called after you before dissolving into fits of giggles.

Inside, the house was quiet. Only a couple of people sat in the living room downstairs and they paid no attention to you as you walked inside. 

You walked up a set of elegant marble stairs, deciding upstairs may be your best option so not to get caught. Two long corridors led off the stairs, with doors leading off each side. You were looking for an office, that would be the place any paperwork would be kept. You would need letters, or meeting schedules. Something to prove a link. 

You turned left, and hit the jackpot with the first try. Senator Parreño’s home office.You pushed the door open slowly, checking nobody had followed you before going inside. The office was immaculate, just as grand as the rest of the house. A large portrait of Maria’s family hung over the back of the desk, all of their eyes watching you as you searched through the room. 

The room was full of things. One wall taken up by a set of shelves full of books and photographs and different trinkets of different sides. A leather couch sat in the window overlooking the gardens. 

You came to the desk last. The top was clear of anything bar a photo of his wife, a line of pens and a rolodex. You flicked through it, found nothing of interest. 

You stood up to find something you could use to pick the locks when you heard heavy footsteps from outside the door. You stood still for a moment, hoping to hear the footsteps go in the opposite direction down the hall. They got closer. 

Before you were caught red handed, you made your escape. Racing to the door, you hoped you would have enough time to slip out without being caught. Quietly as possible, you opened the door.

“Isabela,” María’s father’s voice came from behind you as you shut the door. You turned around quickly, smiling innocently.

“Hi Mr Parreño!” You exclaimed, “Do you know where the bathroom is? I can’t find it?” 

“It’s not in there,” He looked at your hand on the door, which you quickly removed and stepped away from.

“You’re house is just huge. I can’t ever seem to remember where I am going here,” You laughed nervously, “I’ll try down the hall,” You turned around and began to walk away, your 

“I’d learn to be more careful, Agent,” The senator said after you. Your heart stopped. Slowly, you turned back around to face him again, “I guess you are here for my daughter’s stupid boyfriend?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” You said slowly, your mouth slow to catch up with your brain which was already working out the multiple ways to get out of the house safely. 

“You can quit your act, I won’t say anything,” He laughed dryly. 

“No act,” You shook your head, “I didn’t lie, I really don’t know what you are talking about. I am not here investigating Diego. María invited me” 

“I remembered where I saw you. You were with those DEA agents,” 

“I work with them sometimes, we’re friends,” You shrugged. 

“You’ve got an answer for everything, don’t you?” He was on to you

“I’m sorry but I really do need the bathroom, if you could direct me there that would be great. I’ve had far too much to drink,” 

“Down there, fourth on the right,” 

“Thank you,” You walked away quickly, heart thumping against your ribcage at an alarming rate. He knew who you were! He knew exactly who you were! 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” You cursed under your breath. 

You quickly spiralled, thinking off all the worst possible things that could happen now. Parreño would tell someone else who you were, maybe he would do something now. You were alone, neither Peña or Murphy knew where you were, out in the middle of nowhere it would be pretty simple to get rid of your body. You didn’t even find any evidence, you reasoned with yourself and he wouldn’t want any suspicion to his name. He probably wouldn’t kill you. 

Taking another deep breath as you tried to calm your rattling heart. Your hands gripped the cold porcelain of the sink and slowly you relaxed again. You couldn’t go back out looking like you were scared, that would give you up entirely. You looked at your face in the mirror, at least outwardly you didn’t look too bad. Your makeup had shifted a little but you still looked ok. You were fine. 

After another round of deep breaths and a pep talk to yourself, you stepped out of the bathroom and put a game face on. 

“Isabela! You’re back!” María exclaimed as you returned to the group. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah,” Your voice was not convincing as you watched the senator walk past. He looked at your briefly, a knowing glint in his eye as he clocked you. “Can I have some?” You nodded to the coke on the table as an impulsive and reckless idea came into your head. There was no way he could continue to think you were DEA if you did this. Either that or he would just think you were an idiot and not press you again. 

“Finally you stop being a complete baby! Come here!” María cheered. 

You stood up and stepped over to where María was knelt. You joined her on the floor, watching carefully as she lined the powder up with a card from the table. She presented it to you with a flourish, laughing again. 

Surprisingly, you were not scared. The adrenaline of the close call was pacing through your veins. Your mind was so full of fear and anxiety, the idea of finally getting some relief was enticing.

You felt calm, no anxiety in your body holding you back anymore you took the drug from the table. You made a face of discomfort and spluttered a bit when it hit the back of your throat. The people around you laughed, but you didn’t feel embarrassed. It took a moment, but soon you felt the effects. All inhibition and anxiety left your body, you felt lighter and buzzing with energy. 

“See, it’s good right?” Maria smiled. You nodded enthusiastically. 

--

You woke up the next morning, tired and hungover. You couldn’t remember much of the night, but turning over to see Carlos naked next to you gave you a good idea of what had happened. He drove you back to Medellin a few hours later, his sports car was a very nice change from the cars you usually drove in. He was a sweet guy and you talked the entire journey home.

“Will I see you again?” He asked as he pulled up a little way from your apartment. You pretended to think about it for a moment, before breaking into a smile and nodding. “Perfect,” He smiled. You got out of the car, the happy smile not leaving your face as you waved and walked away. 

You watched his car pull away before turning in the direction of your apartment. You still had an identity to hide afterall, even if he was nice you couldn’t let him see where you actually lived. There was still a threat of Parreño exposing you, if Carlos knew where  you lived too it was only a matter of time before everyone would be in danger too.

“So that’s where you were,” Javier called out to you across the street as you approached. He sat on the steps of the apartment building, enjoying the sunshine, smoking and drinking a beer. “Getting laid,”

“Not jealous are you, Javi?” You smirked. 

“No! You’re an adult you can do what you want,” He said with a laugh. A jealous twinge in his chest caught him off guard but he couldn’t let you know that, “You look nice by the way, it’s a cute dress,” 

“Thanks,” You blushed a little. He shuffled out the way to let you pass him and climb the stairs. “I’ll be upstairs if you need me,”

“Sure,” You shut the door behind you leaving Javi alone again. He sighed heavily, blowing out his smoke. He never got jealous, but you had done something to him.  He initially put the feeling down the worry. He was concerned for you, going undercover was not something you should be doing at all and from the small amounts you had told him it could be more dangerous than you had first thought. But seeing you step out of that car, seeing you kiss the driver, he knew it was jealousy. 

He wanted to have you close all the time, to protect you. You were perfectly capable of protecting yourself, and had shown that on many occasions but the idea of someone else holding you the way he had made him feel sick. That feeling in turn made him angry. He shouldn’t be feeling any type of way towards you, you were a team mate. He was your mentor. 

He’d brought it all on himself, he shouldn’t have ever invited you in that night. He would have to suffer through the feeling until it went away, you could never know.

--

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[ofbooksandaesthetics]

Battle of the Bands

Attack on Titan/ Shingeki no Kyojin 

Levi/Reader

Modern Band AU

Summary: As the guitarist of The 104th, you are invited to play with your favourite band The Scouts. 

Warnings: slight profanity but not much 

Author’s note: I listened to Queen of White Lies by Orion Experience 10 times in one bus journey and couldn’t help but imagine Jean singing it about Mikasa. And voila! This imagine was born :) 

From a young age, you’d always been obsessed with music. From your dad playing jazz on a lazy Sunday afternoon to your mum playing R&B as she cleaned, you had always been surrounded by it. It followed you everywhere so it was no surprise when you were gifted a guitar for your 9th birthday. 

You spent hours each day practising fingerpicking, then moving onto chords and then fully-fledged songs. As you grew so did tastes - and your guitar collection. 

Before moving into the 6th grade, your family moved for a new job, leaving you without friends and having to start a new life in the city of Trost. The one thing that was ever consistent was the strings of your guitar and the beats from the speakers, which became your solace in the coming weeks. And said beats caught the attention of your new next-door neighbour. 

Jean Kirstein was also massively into music, and when he walked past your house he could hear the amp blaring from your open window. He became enthralled and would often leave his window open to catch even just a few notes. 

The Saturday before school started, Jean was forced by his mother to introduce himself to you (she said you had to have at least one friend before starting school) and by doing so Mrs Kirstein caused a life long friendship to bloom. He was forced into your house by your mother and lead upstairs to your room. He was greeted by band posters, from MCR to The Beatles, and an acoustic and electric guitar hanging on the wall side by side. But what caught his gaze was the massive “SCOUTS” poster above your bed. 

“WOW! That’s so cool, you like The Scouts!” He exclaimed as he entered your room, causing you to jump from your magazine and stare at the brown-haired boy invading your space.

“WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?” You shouted, giving your mum a quizzical glare as she smiled at the boy's excitement. Your voice seemed to pull the boy out of his oasis and he met your eyes with a blush and a shrug.

“I’m Jean. My mum sent me, we live next door.” Before you could introduce yourself, he had already started to speak again “I’ve heard you playing your guitar. You’re really good!” 

At this your mum left the two of you two it, only returning 3 hours later to find you both on the floor, with you playing whilst Jean sang along. Noticing the time, Jean jumped up remembering his mum warning to be back by dinnertime. 

“It’s been great meeting you! If you want I can meet you outside on Monday and I’ll introduce you to my friends. They’d love to hear you play too! Connie’s really into the drums and Marco has been learning bass.”

Hearing this your eyes lit up and your mum’s heart warmed at the idea of you finally enjoying your new life.

“That sounds great, I’ll see you then!” You called as your mum lead him out.

                                         4 YEARS LATER

The years passed quickly and it didn’t take you long to forget the pain of your old life and become enamoured with your new friends. Jean did indeed introduce to his friends Connie, Sasha and Marco, and it didn’t take long for you to become the best of friends. The five of you would all meet Connie’s garage, sometimes just chatting but more often than not bringing along your instruments for a jam session. Four years went by of you playing lead guitar, Marco jamming on bass, Connie smashing on percussion and Jean accompanying with his gruff drawl, whilst Sasha sat atop of the counter, sadly not having any musical talents other than occasional tamborining. And the four years went by easily until Sasha let out a suggestion.

“You guys should start a band. Like a proper one, with gigs and shit” She declared, soon after stuffing her mouth with a cake Mrs Springer had brought in. 

“See at least someone appreciates my musical talents” quipped Jean with a quirk of his eyebrows, causing you all to laugh. 

“I’ve got to admit, I’m down! We’ve been playing for years, we even played at last years prom.” Seeing no reason against the idea, you voiced your opinion. 

“Yeah but that was prom. We know all of them anyway, if we did gigs it would be to strangers and critics and stuff” Huffed Connie. 

“Yeah, and potential talent scouts! Imagine if we got signed! What do you think Marco?” Jean turned to face he freckled boy awaiting his response. 

“I guess it could be fun.” He said, tilting his head to the side and turning to Connie. “I think we should” 

With a consensus of four out of five, all eyes were set on Connie, pleading him to agree. He spluttered, not expecting you all to be serious. After a moment of staring at you all incredulously, he finally gave in.

“Fine! But if we got told we’re shit it’s on you guys” He sighed, but was drowned out by all your cheers. 

                       2 YEARS LATER

After that day, you had all put in the effort to perfecting your craft and coming up with your own songs. You and Jean would have weekly sleepovers, pulling all-nighters to get the perfect verses. And it wasn’t long until you booked your first gig, which was a success. Nearly the whole grade had turned up to support you, and you soon became a local legend. And in honour of them, you had named your band The 104th, due to being the 104th grade since your school was founded. 

Your increased fame, got you gigs outside of Trost, on larger stages than the small bars you were used to. You had released your first album and we’re having a small jam session, when Sasha’s, who had taken up the role as manager, phone rang. You all carried on with your conversation until Sasha quickly stood up and ran across the room, her voice getting slightly louder, causing you all to stare at her.

“OMG! That sounds great, we can be there for the soundcheck in less than an hour. Thank you so much, for this opportunity. We appreciate it! Thank you, bye!” She exclaimed with wide eyes as her smile grew and grew. After ending the call she whipped around, before letting out a screech 

“OI, OI! What’s going on?” Asked Connie, as he walked up to Sasha flicking her forehead as she squealed again. 

“GUESS WHO’S OPENING FOR THE SCOUTS?!” She all but screamed whilst running to the front of the garage and throwing your jackets at you all. Realising what she meant you stood in a state of shock before opening your mouth. 

“What do you mean? Opening for The Scouts. As in THE SCOUTS? They’re playing tonight, we can’t open for them.” You justified, meeting Jean’s stunned gaze. 

You two had always imagined what it would be like to meet your legends, let alone open for them. After your initial meeting, the two of you had gone on for hours about your favourite songs by the band and sang along to them. You had even let him in on your crush on the lead guitarist, Levi Ackerman, for heaven’s sake. As good as an opportunity this was, you were a nervous wreck. It was one thing to play on the same stage that your favourite band had stepped on, but to play with them and meet them. That was a thing of its own. 

You were knocked from your thoughts by a shoe to your head, and as you focused back in you watched Connie running around like a headless chicken. Attempting to back up his drum kit, he panicked until Sasha assured him there’d be one there for him. The rest of you seemed to kick into action and you ran about gathering your equipment before rushing home to grab gig-worthy clothes. You all met up back at Connie’s house before all piling into Jean’s minivan. Connie and Sasha were as loud as always but you, Jean and Marco seemed to still be too shocked to talk.

As you rolled up to the venue, you saw a queue of about 20 Scout super fans lined up three hours before the gig even started. You wondered how many were your fans, as Sasha had sent out announcements on every social media site possible after you guys left. You hauled your guitar case out of the van before following behind Sasha into the main doors of the venue. The crew were rushing about everywhere, and if you weren’t already used to the atmosphere you were sure you’d pass out. As you walked into the main hall, your eyes fell to the band on top of the stage. All five of you froze, in the realisation that you were in the same room as your childhood heroes. Putting your kit down, you watched as Hange Zoe lazily sat on her drum set, tapping out a quiet beat, as the lead singer Erwin, counted in the beat. Miche Zacharias swayed his hips as he set out the bassline, and Levi almost languidly strummed his electric guitar. 

The five of you were pulled behind the stage before you could watch their practice start but you could still hear it as they performed their soundcheck. Experienced in the world of gigs, the four of you prepped your instruments, tuning them in case they had been messed up in the hurry of your departure. And by the time you’d finished the Scouts were walking towards you. Hange greeted you first. 

“HI! OMG, we’ve heard so much about you guys. You guys are practically famous around here!” She blurted out, her excitement surprising you all. Connie seemed to be frozen as his inspiration complimented you guys. Miche let out a greeting and moved on to sit down. Leaving Erwin and Levi in front of you. Erwin stepped forward and placed out his hand, shaking and greeting you all individually. Now there was just Levi left. 

Your eyes met his and you couldn’t help but blush, as he gave a small nod. Appreciative of the small gesture, you calmed slightly until Jean ruined it

“HI! We love you guys so much. Y/N even has a crush on Levi!” He blurted, his face turning bright red after realising what he had said. You gasped and without thinking smacked him across the head. 

“WHAT THE HELL’S WRONG WITH YOU? WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?” But before you could apologise and defend yourself to Levi and Erwin, you were escorted to the stage for your own soundcheck. Glaring at Jean, you got in position, and were done in half an hour. 

After the soundcheck, you were given time to rest, giving you all time to calm down, after the more than lively introduction. You eventually forgave Jean for his outburst but not without consequences. He would be carrying your gear for the next year’s worth of gigs.

You hadn't yet gained back the confidence to talk Levi but had spoken to the other members of The Scouts. Miche and Erwin told you about how their touring band had ditched them last minute and how they needed another opening band pronto. You were astonished to find out that Hange herself had requested you guys, but it filled your heart with warmth knowing someone as famous as her held your small-town band in high regards. 

Everyone could sense your apprehension to talking to Levi but we’re all shocked when the quiet man joined you whilst getting a drink. You almost blushed when you noticed him next to you but pushed the feeling down and smiled at him. Although Jean had embarrassed you beyond belief, there was no reason to push away your childhood dream and miss the opportunity to talk to him. 

“You know you we’re what inspired me to start learning the guitar?” You said. Levi didn’t reply but you decided his silence wasn’t in annoyance. “My parents were always super into music anyway but when I heard your guys' debut album it pushed me towards the guitar.” You watched him finish making his tea and leave but before he sat down, he turned his head over his shoulder. 

“I’m glad to hear it” He replied, turning again and leaving. You smiled, happy that he didn’t think you were a complete freak. 

                      2 HOURS LATER 

The time had finally arrived. From the side of the stage, you could see a sea of people filling the venue and could hear the symphony of chatter. The boys were stood next to you, panting with nerves. You had never performed to such a large crowd before. You took a sharp breath before turning to them. 

“Come on boys! We’ve done this before and we’ll do it again. This is just another small step before we get our own main stage like this!” Your small pep talk seemed to calm the boys and caught the attention of Erwin and Levi who were waiting to watch your performance from the side-lines. You smiled at the two but we’re now filled with dread as you realised they would be watching. You threw that fear away and gave Marco a side hug as you fixed your strap, and then followed Jean to the stage. 

The lights blinded you but once your vision cleared you all but gasped at the sheer amount of sweaty bodies in front of you. You beamed brightly and gave a wink to a figure in the balcony. At least you could seem confident even if you were dying inside.  

The beat of the drum surrounded you and Marco’s strumming blared out from the amps. You started plucking at your guitar and forgot about the crowd. Jean’s gravely word floated out into the dark room, and it was easy to forget you were on a stage and instead it felt like you were back in Connie’s house. As the song reached the chorus, you and Marco joined in, accompanying Jean. Eventually, you loosened up to a point where all three of you were able to dance slightly to the beat during the bridge. This seemed to get the crowd going even more and you let out a laugh, completely forgetting your inhibitions. [I imagined them performing Queen of White Lies]

Once the song finished, Jean introduced himself, and you prepared yourself for another half an hour of playing and dancing. But it passed quickly and before you knew it you we’re all sat on the sofa. Connie was still flushed chugging on his 3rd bottle of water whilst the rest of you leant back with smiles upon your faces. Your attention was piqued as The Scouts took the stage and you all shouted words of encouragement to them. This brought a smile to their faces, including a small smirk on Levi’s. You all rushed to the sidelines to watch and we’re in awe as you saw the four of them play as if they were reading each other's minds. It was as if they were symbiotic, each knowing what to do without even the slightest hesitation. 

Even though you tried to focus on all of them, your focus always came back to Levi. You watched how his brow rested into a scowl as he neared a faster part of the song and how he threw his head back when lost in the moment. Your eyes widened when he took his shirt off after four songs, which Jean noticed, and started to nudge you for. Time seemed to go by so quickly that you barely noticed them finish their final song. They waved to the crowd as they left but stayed in the wings as the crowd screamed for an encore. Erwin still seemed to smile and nudged Levi towards the five of you. 

“Do you guys want to join us for the encore?” He asked gruffly, his eyes set on you. You looked at the rest of the band and you all nodded before you verbally replied. 

“Of course! What song are you thinking?” 

“Nirvana - Love Buzz? You guys know it?” Miche asked, wiping some water from his chin. You all nodded in unison and before you know it you were all kitted up and back on stage. 

The crowd went wild seeing both The Scouts and The 104th back on stage and you couldn’t help but smile as you found Levi stood next to you. You guys let loose on the song and you even attempted to have a little contest with Levi during the guitar solo for dominance. This gained a smile for the man, and you guys finished the song in no time. 

Leaving the stage for the last time, you gave out a clumsy bow before running off stage. You guys went to get changed and pack up your gear but before you could get in the van the Scouts we’re back in front of you. Erwin took the lead yet again. 

“We loved having you guys on stage with us! And after some thinking, we’d love it if you replaced our old band with us on the rest of the tour.” 

At this Jean slammed the van door and stared at Erwin in shock. The five of you looked at each other in shock. The silence was eventually broken by Connie, who let out a scream as he ran around the van, followed by Sasha letting out profanities. The rest of you gushed and thanked the other band profusely not knowing how to appropriately respond. After formally Sasha accepted the other, Hange launched into giving out hugs, whilst Miche and Erwin gave out handshakes. Levi ignored the rest of your bandmates and made his way to you.

“I look forward to more guitar battles.” Levi remarked as dryly as ever but with a small smirk playing on his lips. Luckily this time, the others were too distracted and you were able to reply with some confidence. 

“You mean to look forward to losing right?” you quipped, knowing this would be the start of something great. 

[king-litchi]

Picture source : @Mnine5 (Meijo) in Twitter

Note : actually, it’s not a request but I was bored and I wondered « what kind of person would the SNK characters on the social medias be » - soo here we go

Sorry for my english…I am french and I still learning - please forgive me and protect your eyes 🤧

Warning : (12+) social media can be dangerous

SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN ON SOCIAL MEDIA 💥

Eren

Instagram : friends, family, abs, outfits, travel….king of instagram, super popular on instagram, everyone follow him but he only follows his friends and instagram he finds interesting, over time it has become an influence, Eren has like a million followers on Insta @IamErenJaeger

Snapchat :  « who has a netflix account ? » in story, selfies with friends at all kinds of events, often takes pictures of Mikasa and Armin by surprise, never puts a filter on for him or for the people he snaps, everyone can watch his story and comment (public baby), already received nudes… @ErenJaegeeer

Whatsapp : he is in all group discussions but rarely answers, when he answers it is surely because the conversation becomes funny or because they talk about Jean and then it degenerates (when too far between Eren and Jean everyone leaves the group and they end up « wait…everyone is gone…? ») and a new groupe is created but the fight starts again (others are like « here we go again » )

Twitter :  can easily get upset in a debate, is not afraid to say what he thinks, it is blocked by a lot of people (please take away his twitter), has a large fanbase : Jaegerist (@CaptainFlochForster is the leader fanbase…best to avoid them.) it’s very simple : either you’re wrong or you’re not right @ErenJaeger

Tumblr :  He is not really known on tumblr, follow only his friends and is followed only by his friends. Does a lot of reblog tumblr he likes and post a lot kind of sick jokes like « What is the only dog you can eat? - A Hot Dog » (20 followers…)

Armin

Instagram : sharing photos of his travels around the world, a lot of ocean scenery, monuments like the Eifel Tower, does not put a photo of him or his friends, his instagram is public to share his beautiful photos with the world  (2,5K followers) @ArminVibe

Twitter : Sharing conspiracy theories with other twittos, if by misfortune a conspiracy ends up in TT you can be sure that it will tweet all evening, twitter reveals its dark side, It can deal with all subjects and he’s gonna take his time to make you understand that you’re WRONG @ArminArlett

Snapchat : he doesn’t know why he has a snapchat, if you send him a snap photo he will just look without answering but if you start a discussion he will probably lose your message if you have not recorded (his fault, but he really does not do it on purpose, he does not really drag on this social media)

Whatsapp : quite active on whatsapp, in groups it is the one that stays the longest active, uses a correct grammar, always has time for someone who needs to talk (a colossal heart…)

Tumblr : very popular on tumblr with his famous landscape photos, he also likes to share theories with whoever wants it, has created a discussion group of which Erwin and Hanji are part (these three are often found in several discussion groups…), is subscribed to Annie

Mikasa

Instagram : her account is private (like most of his social medias) if she does not know you be sure that she will never accept a subscription request (and she receives a lot of subscription requests), sometimes post photos of Eren and her, sometimes with Armin and a picture with the whole group together, has maximum 5 publications and has maximum 100 subscriptions and she subscribes to only 25 people (who are they?) and her favorite girl’s band @MikasaAckerman

Twitter : is fan of girl’s band, a twitter just to follow their news, she has already been on top tweet (never knew why and honestly she doesn’t care), her account is totally private but she receives a lot of follow requests (she declines) @MikasaAckerman

Snapchat : does not do a lot of selfie but she likes cute filters, often does black snap with dark quotes « the sun always shines after a dark night » , tends to reply 2 days after being sent a snap (🤡) yet she makes the flames with Eren (already 834 flames) so she just ignores snaps

Whatsapp : she is in full of group discussions, but always reads without answering (”Read”), she often ends up leaving the discussion groups (but there is always someone to add her to the group, often Sasha)

Tumblr : has a fake account, by the way she is super popular, she posts her covers of her favorite songs @Mikasong (fucking great voice), already has a small community

Reiner

Instagram : is totally subscribed to Emily Ratajkowski (but who is not?), was the first happy to know that the likes are hidden, kind to like a lot of ass and body fitness (…<.<) it’s sure Historia blocked him (probably deserved) @ReinerBraun

Twitter : profile photo of a football player, often mentions his friends, and ALWAYS mentions Conny for challenges « Dare or not to ring your neighbor’s door at 3:00am and ask him for sugar », the kind to tweets like « Nicki Minaj or Cardi b ? » @ReinerTheBigBrother

Snapchat : You see this guy who makes a lot of views on snap and who everyone asks for publicity? Yes, it’s Reiner. Become master of the screenshot (already found himself in a complicated situation because of it…this awkward moment where you catch something you shouldn’t capture…), also receives nudes (btw 🤡) he never watches stories @ReineerGg

Whatsapp : he often ends up being ejected from discussion groups for his dubious humour and is often the victim of Ymir’s blackmail (screenshots can be fatal…)

Tumblr : he doesn’t even know what it’s for

Bertholdt

Instagram : has two instagram accounts, the first is his real account, he only follows his friends and is only followed by his friends and the second is a (secret) fan account on Annie Leonhart @fannie-kickass

Snapchat : goes selfie on occasions like birthdays (party) or when he is with friends, likes animal filters, snap everyone and without warning, during the evenings with friends he often finds himself in the snap of everyone without his knowledge and discovers him the next day (sleeper pose) @Berth5

Whatsapp : the kind of person to share a lot of petitions like « Hi, Nolan still needs 300,000 signatures to be able to convince his parents to buy him ps5 » (he can’t refuse to share when asked…colossal heart - like Armin <.<), calm in group discussions (is not the type to get involved in an argument, always remains neutral when the situation degenerates), he often speaks with Reiner privately and gives him advice on how to approach Annie - but by the time he decided to send a message to Annie, she had already deleted the application… (legend says he’s still waiting for an answer)

Twitter : if you identify him in a tweet, it will probably not read it but will still like it (why not), he does definitely part of the commentators of entertainment shows or sports matches @Bertholdt

Tumblr : hesitates to create a tumblr but does not really know what he could talk about

Annie

Instagram : shares his training and does not hesitate to make demonstrations of his techniques, is quite popular on instagram, to a lot of publication, post a photo with his father just after each victory with a caption « It is God who gives » ; already has a good community (320K followers), account is certified

Snapchat : never goes on his account, totally professional use, it is his father who manages his snapchat to post in story the videos her training and his official matches with the caption « Little Rocky 🔥 »

Whatsapp : it ended up deleting the app because too much discussion that ends in spam (it will be for a next time Berth)

Tumblr : her little cocoon where she can be herself, the only social media that has her interest, her tumblr is dedicated to the cat, she is a fan @Kitty-Catnnie , the only person in the group to know her tumblr is Armin with whom she sometimes chat

Twitter : She is still on top tweet despite her « Mikasa vs Annie, who wins ??? », she never tweet but retweet a lot of things especially those of Conny, it happens to like the tweets of commentator Jean

Jean

Instagram : if you want to see his account you must first subscribe, generally accept all requests, send quite a lot of DM like « you wouldn’t have a bandage because I hurt myself by falling in love with you » sometimes succeeds other times it ends blocked ( or screenshots that end up on Twitter) @JeanOfficiel

Snapchat : He was blocked by Mikasa and Eren (not for the same reasons), made the flames with everyone (but the most with Marco), has already tried to snap Mikasa in secret (it is caught in the act), loves selfies @Ihateeren

Whatsapp : the kind who doesn’t look to whom he sends a message and always has the wrong discussion, so becomes panicked « DONT READ!!! » accidentally already sent a nude in a group discussion (unfortunately screenshots have been made) Eren laughed about this story for several months like « How is Jeanbo doing ? He’s grown up since last time? » (he doesn’t talk about Jean…you know…)

Tumblr : he created a popular mini series on tumblr « You prefer…? » and also « If you were… » (the concept is very cool and we can do it with all the subjects), made a lot reblog, reblog ALL covers of Mikasa

Twitter : has been blocked by half of the tweetos sphere after several heated debates, is one of the people who comment on the shows mainly reality TV (he does it with passion) « SANDRA LEAVES WITH ANTONIO W/O MONEY !!!! IT’S A FUCKIIIING JOKE ?????!!!!! #TheVillaOfBrokenHeart2 » or « I’m the only one who hates Mike ? #MonacoShore » , it’s that kind of tweet that Annie likes) @JeanKirschtein

Marco

Instagram : accepts only requests from friends, his account is private, sharing small moments of his life with friends and families, use many hashtag like #AllThatGlittersIsNotGoldEvenJean (but nobody understands what he means)

Snapchat : often comments his friends’ stories, is the kind to come talk to you if you put a dark snap like « cruel world »

Whatsapp : often receives private messages like « Marco, are you there? » it always ends in long discussions (« The confidant ») he knows how to find the right words, it is active and always “available” if someone needs it

Twitter : always makes Jean’s defense on twitter, the kind of person to be part of a fanbase (like HarryPotter), uses hastag LGBT+

Tumblr : super popular on tumblr, he makes headcanons and screenplays of his favorite books, series and movies, has a preference for Yaoi but he can make any request (2K followers) @HalfMan

Conny

Instagram : very very popular on instagram thanks to his account with Sacha where they share their farce and does not hesitate to challenge, they post the pranks they make to their friends (1M followers) they are not yet certified @TwoDummies , he has a second private account :  with just family and friends (arround 55 followers) @hismotherson

Snapchat : the kind of person who does a snap at 2H00 of the mat « who for the flames », has a lot of snap discussions, always makes stories that ends badly like « I’m going to ride a bike » and in his last snap he ends up in emergency… (true story)

Whatsapp : has an unimaginable number of “caption this” for ALL situations, it sometimes created discussion groups (it’s just that it prepares a stupidity) otherwise is not super active but will always answer if it has a message

Twitter : clash with everyone « Your mother was pregnant for 9 months of your big head but you can’t stand a joke ? SHAME » (blocked), king of challenges, makes all the challenges where it is mentioned, retweet all the « Dare or not… » of Reiner, uses a lot of abbreviation, he invented a lot of hastag like #AlphaLevi and people have fun with his hastag

Tumblr : his more than empty tumblr, has no profile photo, and compulsive liker, it’s literally a fake account for liking funny things @JustConny

Sasha

Instagram : receives many comments under the photos of his joint account with Conny like « POTAETOS GIRL WE LOVE U » and « POTAETOS POWER », often pranks and ends up in the account, has a second private instafood account and also post photos with Nikolo @MadamePatate

Snapchat : oh my dear, he gets into a lot of trouble (funny drama) so stay connected for his “Storytime” evenings (we often hear Ymir commenting in the background with sarcasm and Conny’s laugh)

Whatsapp : the kind of person to send in a « bbiad » discussion (I’ll be back in a bit) and never come back in the discussion, written in abbreviation, loves group conversations

Twitter : has disabled twitter because of a "caption” that Conny posted on it (potaetos girl exists thanks to a tweet) but there reactivated a week later, tweets like a dramaqueen « WHAAAAT @netflix SEASON TWO IS COMING OUT TOMORROW BUT NOT TODAY  ???? WHYYYYYYYYY ! I’m never gonna be able to wait till tomorrow to eat my popcorns frkrkellelrlrl BUY ME POPCORNS NETFLIX BUUUY », has already been on top tweet #potatoesgirl

Tumblr : victim of her reputation even on tumblr, reblog a lot of post food and potential future challenges from Conny, often finds “caption this” with her face and always reacts with a more than dramatic surprise « SHIT AGAIN ??! »

Historia

Instagram : receives a lot of DM from people she doesn’t know, never accept them, like all the photos of her friends, you can see her insta only if you subscribe…(15K followers) @RealHistoria

Snapchat : renames all her friends by cute nicknames, the kind that snaps the place where she is or her food with a « have a nice day », queen of selfie, likes the filters

Whatsapp : uses a lot of emoji, hearts have become a punctuation, in group discussions she often comments « Ymir !! » after a sarcastic comment, tries to temper when the situation becomes too stormy

Twitter : avoids twitter like the plague, has disabled her account, reactivates it on occasions before losing interest once again, in fact her account is a fake where she is named @christaLenz

Tumblr : pretty active, committed LGBT+ activist, reblog testimonials, lots of likes, reblog Mikasa covers a.k.a Mikasong

Ymir

Instagram : a lot of photos of Historia (it looks like a fan account), often comments the photos of her friends (unfortunately for them) @Ymir

Snapchat : a lot of selfie with Historia, if a fight or something awkward happens in front of her she will be the first to make a snap (and no scruple to put it in her story), if Reiner is the King of awkward screenshots then she is the Queen for INTENTIONAL screenshots, her memories are filled with compromising photos on EVERYONE

Whatsapp : Do you remember the screenshots on snap? Well it is on Whatsapp that they find their usefulness. Can send them to a discussion group as if nothing had happened but her specialty is a service for her silence (yes blackmail) it’s never anything bad, but enough to piss off the victim (who is often Reiner)

Tumblr : forgot her password and honestly she doesn’t want to find it, why did she tumblr ?

Twitter : she is often upset about debates, often sarcastic in her retweets, « Caption This », always the last word, she is very popular on Twitter, she’s already been on top tweet (because a drama with her identity) @LadyYmir

Levi

Instagram : does not really look at his newsline, Instagram in black and white and very orderly (#GrandArt), his account is public but no one can comment on his photos @LeviAckerman

Snapchat : a block Hanji (too many snap video that turned into spam), to rename all his contacts by nicknames like « Brat Number one », « Brat Number 2 » (etc.) and Zeke « shithead » nothing abnormal, It has already posted a snap of his head in front camera (had not done it on purpose) deleted after realizing…(especially after receiving plenty of notifications), he and Zeke attack each other by proxy story (no one understands…but it’s funny to read)

Whatsapp : is always “offline” or “busy” but will always respond if sent a message, probably blocked Zeke on all social medias

Tumblr : shares his passion for tea and cleanliness, loves the healthy atmosphere of tumblr, has quite a fan, reblog and subscribes to Armin @TeaWithLevi

Twitter : Tweet by accident (in the pocket >.<) like « jf’dyt’rimsjrdy’yfgi » but other thant he almost never tweets, but when he does it is to complain or creepy « today I learned that a lollipop breaks easily like the legs of a clown » (…we don’t want understand), he’s already been on top tweet with the #AlphaLevi like « #AlphaLevi can surround his ennemies. Alone. » ; « #AlphaLevi makes the onions cry » ; « #AlphaLevi can go up downstairs » (we thank Conny for this hashtag) @LeviAckerman

Hanji

Instagram : honestly if you want to do a search on someone you have to check with Hanji, FBI of the net (”the stalker”), its account is public : post photos with Levi (who has to be taken by surprise) mentions everyone on its posts, photo with Moblit during their experiences (like “Break”), its instagram looks cool @OfficerZoe

Snapchat : snap often its scientific experiments (and other) and we always hear Moblit screaming in the background « Hanji-san! Back ! » , they like to comment on the stories of Levi and Zeke, already tried to make the flames with Levi and Erwin (tried without success)

Whatsapp : spends its time doing focus groups before it degenerates, its favorite pairs are Eren/ Jean and Levi/ Zeke but never has a battery

Tumblr : strangely its tumblr is very serious, they share its hypotheses and theories on scientific subjects, they talk about its experiences and future scientific experiments, they post the results of its research, has its own focus group (Erwin is one of them) @DrHZoe

Twitter : @Dr.troublegirl everything is in the pseudo, will accumulate and then become spectator of a massacre, his catchphrase is « you’re implying… »

Erwin

Instagram : it is very orderly and pleasant to look at, post works of art that crosses his path, does not often check his actuality but when he does it everyone is happy…(always the little comment that makes a good mood and a little like)

Snapchat : his story is public but only his “friends” can comment, snap his visits to the museum and snap a lot the streetart but is not really active when he makes “snap discussion” @Eyebrow (account created by Hanji…)

Whatsapp : uses impeccable punctuation and grammar, often discusses with Armin on intellectual topics and confronts their assumption he is the only one who is not part of a discussion group with ALL the characters (just a few groups like Hanji/Levi/Mike), from time to time he receives family photos of Niail and talks about old times

Twitter : activist totally committed to good causes ( #blacklivesmatter) (#justicepourAdama ), retweet the political news, has already tweeted with the #AlphaLevi @ErwinSmitt

Tumblr : pretty active, post on subjects that fascinate him (like history), his tumblr is very interesting and orderly, proposes developed theories and some people (students like Conny) go there to find answers to their homework… @Sasageyo

Zeke / Sieg

Instagram : created an insta to talk with Eren but he got blocked after commenting on one of his photos « Beautiful sweetren, you grow up day by day, signed your beloved brother » didn’t understand why he couldn’t see his instagram after that ; his instagram is very neat : instafood & instabook but doesn’t have many followers because his instagram account is private (like 150 follower) @ZekeJaerger

Snapchat : made stories to address to Eren instead of sending him directly in private (didn’t really understand the concept) that’s how to start the attacks between him and Levi, Eren ended up deleting the app to him

Whatsapp : uses impeccable grammar (also blocked Livai on all its social medias), tends to read without answering « Read since two days »

Twitter :  tweets like « I am now on twitter. » or  « Good Morning Twitter. » and lots of  « Join me on Candy Crush » , he also likes to comment on his favorite culinary shows with a lot hastag, honestly he is one of the people who blocked Eren on Twitter but does not really assume it  « What ? Weird…I must have hit the wrong button… » yes of course… @ZekeJaeger

Tumblr : reblog Erwin’s posts which he finds very interesting, to himself his own theories which he confronts with Erwin in discussion groups, is part of a quite popular team on tumblr “GenshiKyojin”, (with leader Eren Kruger) #uses #too #much #hastag (#like #me) @KemenoNoKyojin