#connections and then I stayed in those jobs and was passed over for every promotion because I couldn't work for free and I couldn't | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

writing-mermaid · 4 years ago

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I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy

Summary : Y/N McCoy, daughter of Jack McCoy works as ADA Carisi’s PA. Before that, Y/N was sort of the Cinderella of the DA’s office working in the dust of the archives. When the DA’s Christmas ball is themed as a Masquerade, maybe it’s time for Cinderella to meet her prince charming, with a little help of her fairy best friend, Katriona Tamin.

Pairing : Sonny Carisi x reader

Warnings : Language, consomption of alcohol, Cinderella AU, some flashbacks, Vanessa Hadid is a bitch (but as she always is it really a warning ?).

Word Count : 14 682

Author’s note : Written for @thatesqcrush‘s Holiday B!ngo: Naughty & Nice filling the free square, and for @sweetcannolicarisi ’s Disney bingo. I know those two bingos are over now but I really wanted to post it between Christmas & New Year, but life stroked hard and I couldn’t write. Ball dress is inspired by the one from the movie A Cinderella Christmas. Don’t forget that feedback is appreciated and really important.

Song of the title : Truly, Madly, Deeply - Savage Garden

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“Assistant District Attorney Carisi’s office, Y/N speaking, what can I do for you ?”, I say, repeating this sentence on a loop all day long.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my job, I just hate doing it in a fucking hallway, next to my new boss small and windowless new office. Well at least now he has an office, we’re not forced to squat in empty rooms all around the building.

“Oh, hello Captain Benson. How can I help you ?”

“Hello Y/N, can you please ask Carisi to sign me a warrant for a perquisition please ? I emailed you the application. Kat will pick it in less than an hour. Can you do that for me ?”

“Sure, Olivia, consider it done”, I answer.

“Thanks Y/N have a nice day”, she says.

“Have a nice day too Olivia”, I reply, hanging up the phone.

I take a look at the clock facing my desk, 10:30 am. I open Captain Benson’s mail and print the papers she joined in. I get up to the printer, passing next to the break room. It’s time for ADA Carisi’s coffee. I take the papers from the printer and enter the break room. I put down the papers on the table and pour a warm and steamy coffee into ADA Carisi’s usual mug and heat some water for my tea. I put two sugars in his coffee and pour the hot water into my mug with sugar. The papers under my armpit and the two mugs in both my hands I walk back to my desk, where I put down my own mug, and then walk towards his office. I lightly knock on the door before his voice tells me to come in.

“Good morning counsellor”, I say, stepping in the windowless office.

“Good morning, Y/N”, he looks up. “And I already told you to call me Sonny. We work together for a year now, don’t you think it’s time to call me by my name, huh ?”, he smiles at me, with that charming smile that makes me melt.

“I can’t promise anything”, I shrug, returning his smile. “First of all, here’s your coffee”, I say, putting down the cup in front of him.

“Just how I like it”, he hums, taking a sip of it.

“Second, I had a phone call from Captain Benson, she asked if you could sign that warrant”, I add, handing him the papers, his thumb brushing mine when he takes it. “Kat will take it in something like thirty minutes to an hour.”

“I’ll get this ready and let you know when it’s done.”

“Thanks counsellor”, I say going back to the door. “By the way”, I add, turning back to him, “remember that I don’t work this afternoon, it’s my…”

“Monthly lunch date with you dad”, he cuts me. “I know that Miss McCoy, you and I work together for a year, every third Thursday of the month, you have lunch and spend the afternoon with your dad and I always managed to look after myself on those days. So as usual, go eat with your dad and have fun with him. Maybe you’ll start your Christmas errands. Don’t worry for me Y/N, I can handle myself for an afternoon, he smiles at me again. So have a nice lunch and afternoon with your dad Y/N.”

“Have a nice afternoon, counse…”, I can see his finger raising, “Dominick”, I finish before going out, a small smile playing on my lips, almost bumping in Serena, the mail girl.

“Y/N”, she nods at me coldly.

“Serena”, I answer, mirroring her tone.

“Hello Dominick”, I can hear her say with that honeyed voice she uses every time she talks to him, making me sick.

When I go back to my desk, a pile of mail is waiting for me, next to it, two letters. The first one says, ‘Mr. John McCoy’ and the second one ‘Miss Y/N McCoy’. Even retired, my father still receives his invitation for the annual police and DA’s office ball. This year it’s a week before Christmas. As usual, I’m more like his plus one than a real guest, it seems that the office feels obligated to invite me to those balls because my father is the great Jack McCoy. A legend for some. I don’t know if counselor Carisi made the connection between my name and the fact that my father is probably one of the most famous ADA this city ever had, when I’m just a personal assistant.

Sometimes, I’m wondering if they accepted me here because of him, like he asked them for a favor. I started to work here eight years ago. Not as a PA, it would have been too good to be true. There was no place for me. I was put in the archives, doing research for the attorneys, the ADAs, the DAs, the police, everyone who needed it. For a little time, I was ADA Barba’s PA, his was sick and I did the job for two or three months, time she came back. Working with Barba was a learning experience. Of course, I’ve already seen my dad work as an ADA, because I spent a lot of time in his office when I was little after my mom left him, and me in the process, but working with Barba was different, he had different methods, a different way of working. Barba was a great guy, seemed righteous, he was nice to me, even if I can’t say that we were friends or close, I was utterly shocked when I heard about that baby story and that he resigned. I was back in my archive hole when I learned about it. I haven’t met counsellor Carisi, detective back then, while I helped Barba, to be honest, I worked at the other side of the hall, in a proper office, I just caught a glimpse of his tall blond frame from afar. My first impression from my viewing point, he made me think about the character of a book from my childhood, Daddy-Long-Legs. He was tall and lanky, just like the mystery man from the book. I never really saw his face nor his beautiful blue eyes before Vanessa Hadid assigned me to be his PA.

After Barba left, a new ADA came to town, Peter Stone. My father knew his, but Peter and I never met before. He was cute and very nice, he brought me teas and pastries almost every day, and from time to time, we had lunch together. One night, after a few drinks, Peter and I had sex. Nothing committed, just a one-night stand, with no promises, between two consenting adults. The next morning wasn’t even awkward, we both had our fun and we stayed friend, occasionally having lunch or a drink. His sister’s death totally crushed him, and he had a lot of problems. Alcohol, sex, he was on a downward spiral. He left after having been set up by a so-called friend.

Then, Sonny came along. On his first day, Ms. Hadid called me from her office and said I had to come upstairs. I complied, knowing that as she didn’t like me, I should obey. I straighten my clothes and put my hair in order in one of the bathrooms before knocking on her office door. She told me to come in and he was there. He turned around and smiled down at me. Blond hair, bright blue eyes, a charming smile, white teeth, tailored three-pieces blue suit, I was breathless, wondering why I never saw him closer before. I was totally swooned by the man in front of me. I might have stared too long because Ms. Hadid cleared her throat.

“Good morning Y/N let me introduce to you the new assistant district attorney, Dominick Carisi Jr. Counsellor Carisi, this is Y/N McCoy”, she introduced us both.

“Nice to meet you Ms. McCoy”, he said, smiling bigger and extending his hand.

“Nice to meet you too, counsellor Carisi”, I replied, letting him take my hand in his bigger one. “What can I do for you Ms. Hadid ?”, I finally asked, when he let go of my hand.

“Nothing, I just wanted to congratulate you on your promotion.”

“My promotion ma’am ?”, I asked, completely shocked.

“Yes, your promotion. You are, from now, ADA Carisi’s personal assistant. Congratulations.”

I didn’t know what to say. I just opened and closed my mouth like a goldfish out of its bowl. Was it a cruel joke ? After all this time she was finally giving me the position I applied for the first time I passed the Bureau’s door ? For real ?

“I… I… Thank… Thank you”, I stuttered. “I’m glad that you trust me enough to assist our new ADA.”

“I’m pretty sure that you will make a very good team”, she responded, smiling. “Let’s find you both an office”, she added.

An office, we didn’t get it before a few weeks ago. For a year, ADA Carisi and I moved from rooms to rooms, to rooms. It was the worst way to do our jobs. Forced to be in the same room for two very different works. Not that I didn’t like to be in the same room, who would complain after all, Dominick was, and still is, a charming and handsome man, always ready to please people around him and very dedicated to his job. Each morning, he brought me an Italian pastry, still does though, and I grew really fond of him. We exchanged a few things during the few breaks he took or during lunch break, that I had, and still have, to remind him. He explained his path to me, why he wanted to be a lawyer, after having been a cop. I told him about my dad being an attorney too, retired now, but not that he was one of the most important ADA this city had. I still think that it’s strange that he still haven’t made the connection. He asked me why I was a PA and I just answered that it was because I liked that job, and that I probably wasn’t made to be an attorney.

Hadid was right, Sonny and I made a great team. I can’t help but feel like if Hadid paired us, it’s because she don’t like us. ADA Carisi because he was a cop and still has a strong bond with SVU and me because of who my father is. She didn’t expect for us to be such a good team. After a year working together, we have a whole routine. I remind him when it’s time to eat or to have a break, so sometimes, we go together for fresh air, taking a coffee down the street when he’s not too busy. It has been strange a few weeks ago when Hadid finally told us that Sonny would have an office. I thought that finally we would have a proper room to work. When we saw his office, the first question he asked wasn’t to question about the inexistant windows of the room, but where I would work, because there were not enough room for two desks. Hadid simply shrugged and said that they would put a desk for me in the hallway, by the door. I know he was about to protest and to say that if I couldn’t have a proper office or couldn’t be in the same room, he wouldn’t accept that office. But I opened my mouth before he opened his and said it was perfect and that I was willing to wait a little for a proper office. That’s how I ended up here.

“Hey ! Earth to Y/N, are you here ?”

I snap back to reality feeling a hand shaking my shoulder.

“Jesus Christ Kat”, I almost shout. “You scared the shit out of me.”

“Well, I told you I was here but, it seems that you didn’t hear me. Too lost in your thoughts, looking down at those envelopes. DA ball”, she adds looking over my shoulder.

“Yep.”

“Going with your dad ?”

“As usual.”

My brown-haired friend sits down on the chair facing my desk.

“Coffee ?”, I ask her, and at the same time, Serena exits from ADA Carisi’s office, giggling.

“Have a good day Dominick”, she continues to giggle closing the door from Sonny’s office, and I can feel anger and jealousy rise in me, my free fist, and my jaw clenching. “Oh, and have a good day too McCoy”, she says, walking in front of me, pushing her little cart.

I really can’t stand that girl. She does everything to make me lose my mind.

“Just go ahead and punch her freaking face, I would gladly enjoy seeing that”, Kat states. “And to be honest, I don’t think that she’s Carisi’s type”, she adds.

“What ?”, I question, turning to her.

“You perfectly know what I’m talking about Y/N.”

“No”, I bite back.

“Oh yes, you know. You have a think for our ADA friend in here and I know it. And I’m not the only one who saw it.”

“Don’t be ridiculous Kat”, I sigh. “I have to tell him to not forget to eat when I’m gone.”

“Y/N , you’re mothering him, just like you do with your father”, Kat says.

“I don’t”, I respond. “I’m just reminding him that he has to eat and to take breaks sometimes. He’s so into his work that he barely think to eat, drink, or go to the bathroom. He’s really dedicated to what he’s doing.”

“Y/N”, Kat sighs, “Carisi is a big boy, he’s supposed to know when to stop.”

“Oh, he doesn’t believe me.”

“And you’re not his mom. But you could be his girlfriend. Getting lay would do you good. To both of you. And I saw how he looks at you. With enamored eyes.”

“He doesn’t look at me that way Kat, I’m just his assistant.”

“Well, if you don’t want to see, I’ll not insist. Let’s talk about that ball. I’m going too and my dear friend, this year, I’ll make a princess out of the perfect worker that you are !”

I can see the look on her face, and I really don’t like it. Kat and I met last year when she incorporate SVU team, we quickly became best friends.

“I’ll make your inner Cinderella pop out !”

“You’re scaring me.”

“And I found the perfect dress for you, and mask.”

“Mask ?”, I ask.

“Masquerade ball, baby. You would know it if you had opened those letters instead of daydreaming.”

“I don’t daydream Kat.”

“Yes, you do. And your reverie is about the tall, blond and handsome Italian behind that door.”

“Aren’t you here to get a warrant back for Captain Benson ?”, I ask, hoping that she will change of subject.

“I am, but I have time”, she replies. “I know you have your lunch date with your dad today, but I offer you something. Tomorrow night, girl’s night and then on Saturday, dress shopping. I found the perfect dress for you !”

“You looked for a dress for me ? Kat ! I’m a big girl, I can dress myself.”

“Yeah, with a sad black dress when you can look like a princess. Please, let’s have girl’s night tomorrow and let me show you the dress on Saturday. You’ll love it, I’m sure of it. That might be the perfect way to attract some ADA.”

“Good morning ladies”, my entire body stiffens when I hear Hadid’s voice and Kat jolts out of her seat.

“Ms. Hadid”, I say, nodding.

“Miss McCoy, Detective Tamin you’re here. To what do we owe the pleasure ?”, she asks Kat.

“I’m here for a warrant Ms. Hadid, and as I’m waiting for it, I’m having a conversation with my friend.”

“This is very nice from you detective, but Miss McCoy has some work to do and we don’t pay her to have little chats with her friends. Don’t make me regret to have promote you or I’ll have to send you back in your little hole.”

“I was about to ask ADA Carisi if he signed the warrant”, I say, before she can add anything.

“Fine”, Hadid states, “and then I hope that you’ll go back to work”, and she leaves.

“Really, you shouldn’t let her talk to you that way”, Kat tells me.

“That’s okay, I’m used to it now”, I sigh.

“You shouldn’t get used to it Y/N. You’re way better than that woman.”

At the same time, ADA Carisi’s door opens.

“Y/N, I have the warrant for…”, his voice very soft. “Kat”, he finishes his sentence seeing the dark-haired detective next to my desk. “Morning Kat.”

“Carisi”, she nods, a little smile playing on her lips because of the tone of Sonny’s voice when he thought I was alone.

“This is for you”, he says, handing her the piece of paper I printed earlier.

“Thank you. I’ll leave you two and I will go back to the precinct. Have a nice day Carisi. Y/N, see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow”, I reply, while Dominick just nods to her.

And she leaves, the paper in her hand.

“I heard that Hadid was here”, he turns to me.

“Yeah, she was, reminding me that I’m not paid to ‘have little chats with my friends’ and not to make her ‘regret to have promote me’, because she could send me ‘back in my little hole’”, I reply.

“Don’t let her impress you”, he says, putting his hand on my shoulder. “You’re a better person than she will ever be.”

I can feel my cheeks getting warmer and I’m probably blushing. That man really knows how to talk to me.

“Let’s go back to work”, he resumes. “I’ll need you and your fast tipper skills to help me for the Mendelson’s case for my plea.”

“Give me time to make more tea and coffee and I’m all yours”, I say, seeing him turning bright red, and I assume that I must look the same. “I didn’t mean. I wanted to say.”

“I know, I understood”, he says, before going back into his office.

Jeez dammit Y/N, you really had to…, I think, facepalming myself. A few minutes later, I enter his office with a fresh pot of hot coffee, sugar, and biscuits. I put down the tray on the side table and settle in front of the laptop next to it. Dominick gets up from his chair, his mug in one hand, a pile of papers with his handwriting in the other. He puts the sheets on the table before pouring himself some coffee and then a tea bag and hot water in my own mug, and settles it next to me, before putting some sugar in it.

“Thanks”, I smile up to him.

He just smiles back and starts to read his papers. We spend the next hour and a half to type, modify, revise the entire speech.

“I think we’re done”, he finally says, stretching in his chair.

I check one last time the document and hit the print button. From the inside of the office, we can hear the noise of the printer. We settle in a comfortable silence while the speech goes out of the printer.

“So”, he finally breaks the silence, “I supposed you received the invitation for the Christmas ball.”

“I did. I must admit that masquerade ball is an original idea.”

“Indeed. I’ll have to find a suit and a plus one, maybe.”

My heart aches when he talks about getting a plus one. When I said I grew fond of him, it was in fact a little more. Dominick ‘Sonny’ Carisi Jr. rocks my world for a year now and I love every part of him, from his ridiculously bright blue eyes to his passion for this job. I love the entire being he is.

“What about you ?”, he asks, making me snap back to reality.

“I’ll probably go with my father, as usual, if I go”, I answer. “Speaking of my father, I should go and refresh a little before he arrives”, I add checking the hour, getting up from my chair. “I’ll bring the sheets when I come back.”

And with that, I exist the office, walking to the bathroom. There I just look at myself in the mirror, trying not to cry because I’m pinning and crushing on my boss.

Sonny’s POV

I watch Y/N leaving my office. Why did I mention that I needed to find a plus one when I don’t want a plus one ? I don’t want to go to that ball with anyone else but her. But I never dared to ask her out. I saw the look on her face when I mention bringing someone with me, that she looked away, as if she was embarrassed by something. She rushed out so fast that I didn’t even had time to tell her that I’m going alone, or probably will bring my niece or one of my sisters. Of course, I’ll not bring a real date to office party, not when the girl that makes my heart sing is the one sitting on front of a desk outside of my office, accepting to work in a hallway just to still be my assistant.

I remember the first time I met Y/N, she had some dust at the bottom of her black pants and on her shoes. A little stain that she probably didn’t notice on her cheek. I knew she had worked for Barba for a few times, while his assistant was absent, but we never stumbled on each other. I looked at her, her Y/E/C hidden behind a pair of glassed, probably easier for her to see in the archives, her Y/H/C tied. When Ms. Hadid introduced each other, I heard some disdain in her voice, like she was despising her, still does though, and I didn’t and still don’t know why. It couldn’t be because Y/N was new here, like I was at the moment, nor because she has links with SVU. I don’t get how she can hate someone who’s so dedicated to her job like Y/N is, she loves what she’s doing, and we make a good team. She takes care of me, more than she should to be honest, reminds me to eat, drink, have some breaks. I remember once, she changed because she had a date, and I couldn’t help to feel jealous of the man she was seeing that night. She was so beautiful in that dress. It’s like every third Thursdays of the month. She has a monthly lunch and afternoon date with her father. On those days, she looks even more glowing. I must admit that I’m a little envious of her dad, you can see that she loves him very much and he has an important place in her life.

I rise my head from the paper in my hand and spot a man standing in front of Y/N’s office. He’s tall with grey hair and hazel eyes is rummaging through Y/N’s papers on her desk.

“Excuse me sir, can I help you ?”, I ask, exiting my office, after putting down the sheet in my hand.

“I’m looking for my daughter”, he answers. “Have you seen her ? Y/N McCoy, not very tall, Y/E/C, Y/H/C hair.”

“Yeah, Y/N, she’s my assistant. She’s in the bathroom right now. Excuse me sir, but these are confidential, and you don’t have the right to look at it”, I add, seeing him looking at the papers.

“Don’t worry son, I was on the job. Jack McCoy”, he says, extending his hand to me, introducing himself.

“Excuse me, Jack McCoy, like THE Jack McCoy”, I ask, grabbing his hand to shake it. “Y/N never told me that you were her father. Wow, I’m so impressed.”

“Seems so”, he answers. “And I bet you are Dominick Carisi Jr., former cop turned ADA. My daughter told me a lot about you. I don’t know if she told you that her grandfather was a cop, she admired him and she admires you. She says you’re an amazing ADA and that you are passionate by the job. She can’t stop gushing about you and how happy she is to work with such a dedicated person.”

“I can assure you Mr. McCoy that I am as equally happy to work with your daughter. She’s an amazing assistant, she takes care of me when I forget about my basic needs.”

“She did the same with me, since she’s a kid she’s taking care about everyone around her. She knows this office like the back of her hand you know, she spent a lot of time here when she was a child. Sometimes I worked very late and she fell asleep on the couch of my office. She was doing her homework in a corner of the office, lying on the carpet, reading a book while listening to music when I was auditioning people. No one was ever surprised to see her around.”

“I can imagine that”, I reply, picturing a little Y/N, wandering around the corridors of the DA’s building, or working for school, or even reading a book on an office couch, headphones on her hears while her father was working.

“Dad”, I can hear behind me, turn around to see that Y/N is back from the bathroom. “What are you already doing here ?”

Y/N’s POV

I enter one of the cabins to pee before going back. When I exit it, I wash my hands and look at myself again checking my make-up and putting some lipstick again, check my hair. When I judge myself decent again, I go out. I walk back from the bathroom, hearing some laughs and voices coming from counsellor Carisi’s office.

“Dad”, I say, spotting my father behind Dominick’s tall frame. “What are you already doing here ?”

“Y/N, sweetheart”, my father passes by counsellor Carisi to hug me. “I was a little early and I thought I would surprise you. That charming young man here said that you were in the bathroom, so we started to chat a little. I get why you like to work with that young man my darling, he’s really passionate about his job”, he adds, pointing the blond ADA with his thumb.

“If you don’t need me anymore Dominick, I’ll go.”

“Dominick ?”, my dad asks, raising his eyebrow.

“He told me not to call him counsellor, just like you did with your assistants.”

“Actually, I told her to call me Sonny, but she doesn’t”, he says, scratching the back of his head.

“It’s too familiar, you’re my boss after all.”

“Dad, if you’re ready we should go. Of course, if you don’t need me anymore”, I turn to counsellor Carisi.

“That’s good for me, you can go.”

“Thanks”, I reply, going behind my desk to grab my purse and to clean my desk. “Don’t forget to eat, to drink, and to take some break. I ordered you some food for your lunch, I prepared the few files you have to check. Don’t leave too late tonight, you have dinner at your parents”, I conclude, looking at Dominick while I list the things I planned for his afternoon. “Your tie, it’s not straight”, I say, looking at his neck, my hands reaching for the knot, his eyes meeting mine when I start to redo the knot, his face a few centimeters from mine, those pink lips I’d love to kiss for a year. “Here, all done”, I say, smoothing his suit jacket.

“Thanks”, he whispers.

“You’re welcome”, I respond, on the same tone.

Someone clears his throat next to us and I suddenly remember that my father is around. I step back from counsellor Carisi and grab the two letters on my desk.

“We should go. Have a nice afternoon Dominick.”

On that, I grab my coat and scarf and I head to the elevators.

“Nice to meet you Carisi, let’s meet again sometimes”, I can hear my father say, probably extending his hand to the counsellor to shake it.

“Pleasure is all mine counsellor McCoy, and I would love to”, my boss replies.

I press the button of the elevator, and when the door opens, I have the bad surprise to see Vanessa Hadid in the cabin.

“Miss McCoy, I see it’s time for your daddy-daughter lunch date”, she says, stepping out of the elevator, her eyes falling on my father who’s walking towards the elevators. “Counsellor McCoy, what a pleasure to finally meet you. I’m Vanessa Hadid”, she deceitfully adds, a fake smile on her face, extending her hand. “Let me say that I really admire your work and all you did for the city. I think some people should take your successes as examples”, she looks at me, “and do their job better. Speaking of which, Miss McCoy, don’t forget that you must list all the charges in your documents or the ADA and then the DA can’t do their job correctly.”

“I can assure you Ms. Hadid that my job is done correctly, and that ADA Carisi is very satisfied with my work.”

“I’m sure he’s very satisfied of your job, I can tell, but it’s not enough, and ADA Carisi is satisfied with little”, her remark makes me turn red. “I should remember that you’re just a little secretary and the fact that your father was one of the best ADA of this city doesn’t necessarily make you good at your work, what a shame.”

I can feel my anger boiling inside of my veins. That woman really treats me like crap.

“My daughter is a PA, Ms. Hadid and I can assure you that despite what you are thinking, she’s very good at her job and she knows what she’s doing, after all, she assisted me a lot when she was younger and her first job was to be my assistant, so if counsellor Carisi says he’s pleased with her work, believe me, he is. Good day Ms. Hadid, and unfortunately, I can’t say that it was a pleasure to meet you.”

With that, my father links his arm with mine and we step in the elevator.

Fifteen minutes later, we’re settle at our usual table at Giovanni’s, one of our favorite restaurants. My dad takes me here since I’m a child. It became one of our rituals.

“I’m surprised that you never told him that I was your father”, he says after the waiter took our orders. “That boy was practically fanboying over me. This was funny to see to be honest.”

“He’s unbeatable on the previous ADAs, and I’m not sure that he would have treat me normally if I had told him about our filiation. He’s very passionate about this job. I find it really cute”, I reply, drinking a sip of my lemonade.

“I don’t think that this is the only thing you find really cute about him.”

I almost choke on my drink, while he’s looking at me, a small smile playing on his lips before he drinks some of his whiskey.

“You shouldn’t let her treat you that way you know”, my dad suddenly says, after the waiter put down our plates in front of us, and I know he’s talking about Hadid. “I don’t like the way she talks to you, and the way she talks about that Carisi guy. Clearly, she doesn’t like any of you. But listen to me Y/N, she might be your employer, but don’t forget that you actually have a law degree. Just like her and just like that Daddy-Long-Legs for whom you work. Your ADA”, he adds, emphasizing the ‘your’.

“He’s not my ADA dad”, I sigh, praying that I don’t blush too much.

“I’ve seen the way he looks at you and the way you look at him, act around each other. You two act like a married couple without being one. But office relationship is not something I really advice.”

“Why ? Because of your own and disastrous experiment ?”, I ask more harshly that I intended.

He gives me a dirty look and I know I’ve gone too far. This is still a sensitive subject. Even if many years have passed, I know that he still feels guilty about Claire Kincaid’s death.

“Dad, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have talk to you like that. This was rude from me. I know you only want what’s best for me”, I say, reaching for his hand on the table.

“That’s okay Y/N, you’re an adult and I can’t spend my time to protect you nor make choices for you. He seems to be a nice and good guy and if something happens between the two of you, I’ll support you.”

“Thanks dad, but I don’t think that anything will happen between Dominick and me. And to talk about Hadid, I don’t want to risk getting fired, not when I love the job I’m doing and make a good team with the person I work for. I know I can find a PA job anywhere in the city and that I can work in another DA office, but I love working with SVU and with counsellor Carisi.”

“Promise me something then”, he starts, and I just nod, while he grabs my hand, “if she harasses you, you’ll report her. That woman is determined and tough, but I have no doubt that she would crush you, or Carisi, if she could.”

“I have no doubt about that either”, I respond, drinking some of my lemonade. “Don’t worry dad, if she goes too far, I’ll not hesitate to report her. I promise.”

We continue to eat, in a comfortable silence.

“Are you going at your mom for Christmas ?”, he asks.

“No. Last time I spoke to her, she reproached me to be too close to you. And I responded that she shouldn’t have to leave when I was a kid, I would probably be closer to her. Same thing as usual”, I shrug.

“You should be less hard with her.”

“She’s the one who chose that situation. Thank God, you never brought an evil stepmother or evil stepsisters home. Just your pretty and young coworkers.”

“What about your sister ?”, he asks.

“Rebecca ? Don’t have any news for a while. I think she has better things to do than spending time with her little half-sister who’s fifteen years younger than her. I think I might spend it by myself this year, unless you have nothing planned.”

“I’m already invited by a judge I worked with, in California. I can ask him if you can come if you want to.”

“No that’s okay, thanks dad, I’ll have a quiet night, I’ll order takeout and watch some movies. I’m used to be alone, remember.”

“That makes me sad to know that you will be alone on Christmas. You are young, you need to have some fun. Go to parties.”

“Speaking of parties”, I say, taking the envelopes from my bag, “I had those this morning.”

I hand him his letter announcing the annual Christmas ball.

“Masquerade”, he reads, after taking the letter out of the envelop. “Does that mean they expect us to wear a mask ?”, he asks, not really thrilled at that perspective.

“That’s exactly what they expect”, I reply, taking a bite of food from my plate. “It could be fun, for once.”

“Are you going ?”

“I have to, I can’t skip my job’s Christmas party, especially not when I’m the daughter of Jack McCoy.”

“What are you going to wear ?”, he questions.

“I don’t know, it seems that Kat found something for me, she seems to have decided to play Fairy Godmother with me. Said she found me a gown to wear on that night, to pop-up my inner Cinderella”, I sigh.

“Maybe you should let her do it, she’s your friend, she wants to help you.”

“I know. What about you, are you coming ?”

“I’m going every year, with you since you’re a child, I’m not going to skip that year either, after all they probably will be expecting for me. Especially that boss of yours.”

He folds the letter in two before putting it in his pocket. We finish our lunches and then spend the afternoon walking in Central Park, going to the zoo, another old tradition from my childhood. I must admit that dad freed up some time for me more than he did for Rebecca. Maybe that’s one of the reasons why she doesn’t really like me. Well, I don’t really think that dad took care more about me than about her. I know he did spend more time with me, but that’s because my mother left. I spent countless nights on the couch of his office, countless days doing my homework on the spare table of his office, sitting in a court room, waiting for him to finish work, eating sandwiches instead of real meals, sometimes a hot meal from the restaurant down the street. When I was old enough to take care of myself, I stayed home, but I found my way back to my dad’s office for my first job during the holidays. I was helping, just like his assistant. Little by little I learned to love that job, helping the ADA, being here when he speaks with the victims, trying to help said victim, somehow investigating for him. Yes, I went to law school and had my degree, and I could be a lawyer, but being the ADA’s PA, was what I really wanted, I couldn’t guess that for a while I would be stuck in the archives.

After our afternoon, my dad takes me back to my apartment. After we agreed on going at the Masquerade ball together as we do every year.

The next day is busy. I wasn’t expected for the trial to be that soon. We had a message when I barely arrived that a court and a judge was available for today. The file is complete, we explained to Malia, the victim, all she had to know and that she has to stuck with what she told us, trying to not be destabilized by the other lawyer, everything is ready and we’re sitting at court, when we get the list of the defense’s witnesses.

“There is someone I don’t know on it. Look, a last-minute addition”, counsellor Carisi tells me, pointing the name of a man.

“What do you want to do ? Do you want me to do a quick research ? That name is ringing a bell to me. As if my father had a trial with a man having the same name. Give me an hour or two, I can probably find something”, he just nods and with that, I rise from my chair and go out of the courtroom.

I almost run to my office, quickly making a research in the archives. Bingo, I knew it. Quickly printing what I’ve found, I go back to the courthouse as fast as I can to assist counsellor Carisi. When I arrive again inside of the courthouse, I slide next to my boss, noticing that the man is already in the witness booth.

“Howard Caplan convicted for rape almost twenty years ago. That’s why the name rang a bell to me, my dad was in charge of his trial. Caplan is a rapist, a murderer, and a liar. He’s one of those people who think that victims deserved what happened to them. He’s out because he was released for good behavior three years ago. If you want my opinion, this is a big fuck you to his victims. I was in courthouse when he was found guilty, I was young, but I will remember that face all my life, the face of a monster. The MO is the same, Caplan is probably Rowell’s mentor”, I whisper in Carisi’s ear.

“How did you find it ?”, he asks me, after I show him the paper with the information he needed for the trial.

“I’m the daughter of a retired ADA and the granddaughter of a cop, that makes me really good at sticking my nose into someone’s past, plus this was in the archives I had to type when I worked in my little mouse hole”, I wink at him. “Now you know what buttons to push.”

“Y/N, you’re amazing, I could kiss you”, he says louder, and I turn bright red, and so does he when he realize what he just said. “I mean with no ulterior motive.”

“Counsellor Carisi, if you and Miss Y/L/N have to talk of personal matters, I suggest you do it outside of my court”, the judge shouts in our direction, looking at us.

“I’m sorry your honor.”

“Sorry”, I repeat, and she sighs.

Dominick’s squeezes my hand under the table as another way to say ‘thank you’, his long fingers caressing my palm, a very intimate gesture. I bite my lower lip trying not to sigh in pleasure, and to pay attention to what’s said.

“Counsellor Carisi, do you have things to ask the witness ?”

“Yes, your honor”, he responds the judge, letting go of my hand and standing up, buttoning his jacket, I can see the gearwheel turning into his head.

And for five minutes straight, using the information I gave him, he managed to make Caplan admit that he is Rowell’s mentor and that he didn’t want to kill and rape by himself now not to go back in prison. But his confession is a violation to his parole, so he’s arrested right here and there. As for Rowell, he’s declared guilty by the jury. I sigh in relief when the verdict is said, looking at Malia, who’s sitting right behind me, Captain Benson, and Kat at her sides.

“Thank you so much counsellor Carisi”, she says, hugging him tight.

“Actually, I’m not the one you should thank. Y/N found about Caplan’s past. She helped me a lot”, he tells her, slightly grabbing my hand in his.

I swallow the lump in my throat while his stares at me right in the eyes.

“Thank you, Y/N, you’ve been really nice with me during this all thing”, Malia turns to me and hugs me, making counsellor Carisi let go of my hand.

“You’re welcome Malia. Don’t forget that if you need something, you can contact me.”

“I know, thank you”, she says, hugging me again and tighter, before letting go of me.

Malia exits the courtroom with her mother and sister.

“Thank you, Y/N, I don’t know what I would do without you”, Dominick’s voice says next to me.

I turn to him, his blue eyes are sparkling, while he steps towards me, his gaze never leaving mine.

“Y/N, I’d like to…”

“Y/N, you were amazing”, Kat jumps in, cutting counsellor Carisi, and hold me in her arms. “You and I are officially off duty so let girl’s night begin !”

From the corner of my eye, I can see Dominick leaving the courthouse alongside with Captain Benson. He slightly turns his head towards me, and I can see sadness in his eyes. I grab my bag and follow Kat who drags me outside of the building.

“Don’t tell me that you never noticed the way he looks at you”, Kat says, after at least our fifth or sixth drink.

“He’s not looking at me in any way. Our relationship is strictly professional”, I slur, as drunk as she is.

“And the way you look at him.”

“I’m not looking at it in any way either.”

“You both look like two idiots in love, but you’re too idiots to notice”, she gulps her drink and waves at the waiter for another. “He looks like a lovesick puppy in love.”

The waiter puts down another drink in front of her.

“And besides”, she continues, “today he literally said that he could kiss you, in court, in front of everyone. That you can’t deny.”

At those words, I remember what happened after the judge called us to order, his hand touching mine, little circles on my palm, his hand almost sliding in mine and then, the judge asking him to question the witness, only those thoughts make my cheeks turning red again.

“He just said that because he was happy I found the information. I don’t think he intended to do it”, I sigh, sipping my mojito.

“You know what you need, you need to get laid ! When was the last time you had a good fuck ?”

“Kat !”, I shout.

“What ? You’re gorgeous, clever and you need to get that tall blond and handsome Italian out of your mind. You two act like a married couple without being one.”

“That’s funny you say that my dad told me exactly the same yesterday.”

“And he’s right”, she gulps her drink once again. “Another”, she waves one more time at the waiter.

“No more drinks for you two ladies, you already had way too many and I ordered a cab for you two to go home safely, ride’s on me”, he winks at us. “And this is my number”, he adds, handing me a piece of paper with his phone number on, “in case that guy you like doesn’t open his eyes.”

I thank him and put the paper in my pocket. A few minutes later, the doors opens to a woman around Kat and I’s age and the waiter waves at her to indicate that we are the customers. The ride home has us sleepy and at the second we pass my front door, Kat collapses on the couch, and I manage to reach my room, after putting a plaid on her so she won’t catch a cold. She’s right, I mother people too much. Then, I finally allow myself to sleep when I fall on my bed.

The next morning, I wake up with a slight headache, fully clothed and Kat’s groan from the living room.

“Fuck, my head.”

I stretch like a cat on the mattress, feeling my whole-body crack before getting up.

“Good morning to you too”, I say, stepping in my living room.

“How could you let me drink that much ?”, she asks.

“Nothing can seem to have stopped you, so I rather drank too”, I respond, shrugging. “What do you think about breakfast ?”

“Give me some aspirin first”, she says, sitting on the couch, massaging her temples.

I turn around and walk to the kitchen. I open a cupboard and pull out two glasses, before filling it with water. I open the meds cabinet and take two aspirin pills, then I head back to the living room.

“Here you go”, I hand her one of the pills and one of glasses of water before gulping my own pill and water.

“Thank God”, she thanks me, taking the glass and the pill.

“Oh, you can just call me Y/N, you know”, I joke, and she chuckles. “What about breakfast now ?”, I ask.

“I thought you would never ask”, she answers, rising from the couch.

She follows me to the kitchen. I take grab two mugs and start the coffee maker and the kettle.

“So, dress shopping today”, she states, very seriously when I put some bread, butter, spread and jam in front of her. “I will doll you up for the love of Carisi.”

“You’re obsessed Kat.”

“Me ? No, I just want my best friend’s happiness.”

I rise an eyebrow, not really knowing what to answer to that. I appreciate Kat’s efforts to help me having a love life, but I really don’t really see why she absolutely wants to set me up with Carisi. I recognize that I have a massive crush on my boss, but regarding my dad’s situation when I was younger, I don’t think this is a good idea.

“Stop trying to set me up with my boss please.”

“No”, she replies, a sly smile on her lips.

I pour some coffee in her mug and some water in mine before I hand her the steamy coffee. We take our breakfast in a comfortable silence before each of us take a shower. As Kat and I are used to sleep at each other’s home after a night outside or for a girl’s night, we have spare clothes at each other’s.

“Are you ready ?”, she asks, as soon as I go outside of my bedroom, slipping my head into a NYC sweater.

“Is it normal that I am frightened about that dress story ?”, I question.

“I promise you that you have nothing to be afraid about. I swear that you will love that dress and look stunning in it. It was made for you.”

I sigh, I don’t really have a choice, I need a dress for the DA’s office Christmas Ball and I also know that Kat doesn’t give up that easy. She almost drags me from my apartment to the subway. Thirty minutes later, she stops in front of a little clothes shop.

“How did you find this place ?”, I ask her, knowing that the kind of dress I can see in the window display.

Indeed, a lot of the dresses I can see look like prom gowns or princesses’ dresses. So far from Kat’s usual clothing. I never wore a dress like this, not even for my prom. To be honest, I didn’t even go to prom, no one invited me, and I didn’t want to go there alone, instead, I spent the night at the restaurant with my dad who then, took me to a musical, a quiet night to celebrate my high school graduation and acceptation to law school. I look at one of the dressing and then close my eyes, imaging myself in it, looking like a princess, waltzing with a tall blue-eyed Italian in a three pieces-suit.

“Y/N. Y/N. Y/N. Earth to Y/N, come back here”, my eyes shoot open. “You were daydreaming again, and according to the smile on your face, I know who you were daydreaming about”, she sings-song mockingly.

“I wasn’t daydreaming about Sonny”, I poorly defend myself too quickly, probably blushing in the process.

“Ah ! I knew it !”, she points at me. “But you’re not going into one of these dresses. There is a special one waiting for you inside”, she adds, dragging me inside of the store.

“Kat, you’re here !”, a woman says behind the counter. “And I bet this is the friend you told me about. The one for the dress”, she adds, smiling at me. “Come in darling”, she moves from her spot and grabs my hand to pull me towards fitting rooms, before making me step on a pedestal. “You were right I’m sure the dress will be perfect for her. Please sweetheart, take off your coat so I can see if the size is the good one.”

I do what she says, shrugging my coat off my shoulder. She points at my sweater that I take off too.

“Perfect, she’s gonna be perfect for my dress”, she claps her hands after turning around me.

“I told you it was made for her. And he’s gonna be crazy about it.”

“Can you please stop talking as if I wasn’t in the room ?”, I question, annoyed.

“Yes, sorry sweetie. You’ll step in that fitting you and remove your clothes, socks and shoes too, just stay in your underwear, and I’ll come with the dress and help you slip in it. There are no mirrors in the room, so you’ll not see yourself before we come back here”, I just nod. “Come on, undress and I’ll get the dress.”

Just before I close the fitting room door, I can see the woman locking the front door and turning the open/close sign. I undress as she told me, hopping I’ll not die of cold before she comes back.

“Well, are you ready dear ?”, I hear less than two minutes later, and when I say yes, she comes in, carrying a huge slipcover. “Turn around and close your eyes. Kat wants it to be a surprise”, I comply, I don’t want to offend Kat, especially when she wants to make me a surprise. “Lift your arms, yes perfect”, I can feel the soft fabric of the dress on my skin. One hand puts my right shoulder under a brace, hands smooth the top of the dress around my chest, strings are pulled behind my back, and finally, the skirt is behind deployed around my legs and feet. “Put your hands on the wall, I’ll put the shoes on your feet.” I obey one more time, feeling my feet slipping in, making me a little taller. “Come on darling, eyes closed still, you’ll follow me.”

She grabs my hands and guides me back to the store.

“Oh my God, Y/N, you’re stunning”, Kat says from I don’t know where.

“Well, for now, I have to believe you as I haven’t seen myself yet.”

“Believe me, you look like a princess.”

“Mind the step”, the store woman warns me. “One more little thing and you can open your eyes.”

I can feel her putting something on my shoulders. A soft and light fabric, maybe tulle caresses my skin.

“Open the mirrors Kat please”, she says. “Okay, now sweetheart, you’ll open your eyes and see yourself. On three. One. Two. Three.”

I open my eyes. There are mirrors all around and reflecting in those, me, in the most beautiful dress I’ve ever seen in my life.

“It’s... I…”, I don’t know what to say, I barely recognize myself. I look like Cinderella. The dress is blue, with light blue and golden strass on the bustier which has only one shoulder strap, the other goes under my left arm, little blue straps in the back. The skirt is perfect, made of silk covered with blue tulle, with silver glitters, is not too big nor too small. A tulle shawl is covering my shoulders and tied on my chest. I lift the skirt to check on the shoes. They are the same color as the dress, blue with silver glitters. “Oh my god”, I manage to finally say after looking at me in the mirrors. “Kat, you were right, I look like a princess.”

“Least but not last”, the shop owner comes back near me, a sliver mask matching my dress in her hands. “I designed it for you, especially for the dress”, she adds, putting it on my nose.

I look at the mask, on the silver base, there are blue patterns on the left side and a golden butterfly on the right, with some pearls on its wing. I step down the pedestal and hug Kat tight.

“You’re going to be the most beautiful woman of that ball.”

Three weeks after the dress fitting, and said dress hanging on my wardrobe, in a slipcover, waiting to be worn tomorrow at the DA Christmas Ball. Those last three weeks have been pretty calm, which was unexpected considering the time of the year. Usually, Christmas is one of the busiest times of the year. During those three weeks, I spent a lot of times with Dominick and he was dashing as usual. His blue eyes sparkling when talks about his nieces waiting for Santa to give them gifts. The ball is tomorrow and then, next Saturday it’s Christmas Eve, and on Sunday Christmas, that I’ll spend on my own this year. Maybe it’ll do me good, the occasion to rest and rethink my life maybe.

“Well, I think we don’t need to stay here any longer”, counsellor Carisi says, going out of his office. “You can turn this off Y/N, I don’t think that something will happen now. Friday, 5:30 pm, no calls from SVU since last week. I must admit that I’m glad that this year is calm, not like last year where we had work all over our heads.”

He smiles at me and my heart nearly misses a beat. That man will be the death of me someday. Why am I not even capable to ask him for a drink or a lunch date sometimes, just the two of us, no work between us and especially, no Vanessa Hadid, who just happened to appear in the corridor where my desk is, when Dominick is about to speak again.

“Carisi, McCoy”, she calls us. “You both can leave, we don’t have any more work, so we can call it a week. Go get a drink or grab something to eat, enjoy your evening. See you both at the ball tomorrow. Well, if I manage to recognize you”, she adds, before leaving.

I turn off my computer to see that he came back into his office, probably to take his coat and turn off the light. Then, he comes back when I rise from my chair, putting my scarf around my neck.

“Y/N, before Ms. Hadid arrived and interrupted us, I was about to tell you that it’s still early and I wanted to ask you if you’d like to…”

“Y/N !”, I hear my dad’s voice shooting from behind.

“Dad ? What are you doing here ?”, I question, turning to him, taken by surprise.

“Taking you to dinner sweetheart, it wasn’t planned but as we are going to the DA ball tomorrow and also because I won’t be here the next two weeks so we won’t have our lunch date, I thought that we could spend the evening together.”

“I… Yes dad, of course”, I respond, “give me a minute please”, he nods, and I turn back to my boss. “What did you want to ask me Dominick ?”

“Never mind, another time maybe”, he answers, looking disappointed. “You should spend a good night with your father and enjoy it. I’ll see you tomorrow, try to save me a dance. Have a nice evening. It was a pleasure to see you again Mr. McCoy”, he says, before extending his hand to my father to shake it.

“Did I interrupt something ?”, my father asks once Sonny is out of view and ears.

“You’re the second person interrupting when he’s about to ask me something”, I whisper, not loud enough for him to hear it.

“What ?”

“Nothing”, I sadly smile at him. “Let’s go for a walk and maybe, I’ll find your Christmas present on the way”, trying to be as joyful as possible, feeling bad for Dominick who twice tried to say something and was interrupted, once by our shrew boss, the second time by my good intentioned father.

“If you want my opinion, that boy probably wanted to ask you on a date. He’s got a thing for you.”

“Dad, we already talked about it, don’t be ridiculous. Let’s go now, would you”, I conclude, slipping my coat on my shoulders.

The evening passed fast and the next day is here too soon. Kat joins me in the afternoon to get ready. Her friend from the store showed her how to put the dress on me.

“There you go”, she says, putting a little more red lipstick on my lips. “Perfect.”

She turns me to the mirror, and I look at myself. I already loved the dress when I tried it, but I love it more this time with make-up and my hair done. I take a look at Kat’s outfits. She wears a black suit, with a little touch of make up on her eyes.

“You really are something else Katriona Tamin.”

“What ? Because I don’t wear a dress ?”

“No because you’re really something else. I’ve never had a friend who did for me what you have done. I don’t even know if anybody’s friend already did that. You saw a dress, booked it for me convinced that it would fit, you support me and help me when I need something. I’m glad I met you Kat Tamin and it’s an honor to call you my best friend. Thank you”, I say, hugging her tight.

“Oh, don’t thank me now Y/N McCoy, you’ll thank me when you and Carisi are married, having kids and when you’ll ask me to be the godmother of your first born.”

“Kat !”

“Don’t pretend to be offended. If tonight he doesn’t fall for you, I’ll kick his ass myself.”

We start to laugh when we’re interrupted by the doorbell.

“Hey dad”, I greet him, opening the door.

“Hello sweetheart”, he responds, kissing my forehead. “You look radiant”, he adds, taking a step back to look at me.

“Thanks daddy. I feel like a princess”, I turn on myself to show him the back of the dress.

“Don’t forget this !”, Kat says, handing me my mask. “Hi Mr. McCoy.”

“Miss Tamin. What an interesting choice of outfit. But it suites you.”

“Thank you, Mr. McCoy. You look very good yourself.”

“Thanks, I just didn’t put that on”, he says, waving the mask in his hand. “This is ridiculous.”

“That’s not ridiculous dad, that’s the principle of a masquerade ball.”

“We should go, or we will be late”, Kat states.

“I have a little surprise for you girls”, my dad says once I lock the door.

Indeed, a very big surprise, I was expecting a cab waiting for us, but a limo is parked in front of my building. The driver opens the door and help Kat and I to climb in the car. The ride is quick and before I can realize it, we’re in front of the city hall where the ball takes place. We put our masks on before exiting the car.

“Can you please take us back at midnight ?”, my father asks the driver.

“Of course, sir. Have a nice night”, and with that, he comes back in car and drives away.

I rise my head and notice that the city hall has been decorated for the occasion with a lot of white lights in the shape of snowflakes. My father starts to climb the stairs, followed by Kat.

“Dad wait a minute please. Promise me something. Don’t drink too much tonight please.”

“Be here at midnight or I’ll leave without you.”

That said, he offers me his arm to climb the stairs, Kat by my side. I hand to the person at the door our invitations and we come in. The inside of the ballroom is more beautiful than the outside. There is a huge white Christmas tree, decorated with some Christmas balls, garlands and lights. The walls are full of colorful ribbons. There are tables, full of food and drinks all around the dancefloor, a disco ball hanging on the celling, a DJ is placed in the far end of the room. All around us, there are people wearing masks, so that’s impossible to say who’s who.

“I’ll go grab a drink”, my dad says. “I’ll see you later”, and with that he leaves.

“I want to ferret a little around. If I don’t see you again before you leave, I’ll call you tomorrow”, she says, kissing my cheek. “Have a good night Cinderella”, she winks at me before walking away.

I sigh, finding myself alone in the middle of that big party. I take a glass of champagne of the table and sip on it and taste one of the appetizers on a plate next to the drinks. I start to wander around, climbing the stairs to the balcony, looking down at the ball room, watching the first dancers evolving on the dancefloor. I don’t know who they are and I’m not sure that they know who they are dancing with, but everyone seems to be happy with that. I go back downstairs, wandering on the first floor. Music is blasting from the loudspeakers while I’m still walking around almost walking through I don’t know what door, when a hand touch my arm and stops me. I turn around to see who it is, and my eyes meet with a pair of blue ones. The tall man in front of me is starring, before he grabs my hand and take it to his lips, laying a kiss on it. I can’t properly see his face because of my mask, and his only let me see his eyes, his mask sort of looking like the one of Erik, The Phantom of the Opera, I can only see his mouth, not his nose nor the shape of his face, he wears a black suit, Phantom of the Opera style too, matching his mask. Then, silently, he lightly turns his gaze towards the dancefloor, silently asking for my permission to dance and I just nod. He leads me to the middle of the dancefloor. He takes my hand in his and slides his arm around my waist while I put my other hand on his shoulder, and we start to sway to the music. I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need I love you more with every breath truly, madly, deeply do, the song says, while his eyes are never leaving mine. It’s just him and I lost in the middle of the crowd, locked in a bubble, where nothing else exists but my mysterious dance partner. The more we sway, the more I feel I’m where I’m meant to be, even if I don’t know who he is, I feel good in the arms of that unknown man, who doesn’t seem to know who I am either. The more the song passes, the more I want to kiss him, my eyes go from his eyes to his lips and I think that he must have understand because he leans towards me. I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need I love you more with every breath truly, madly, deeply do, the song says again when our lips finally touch. My mysterious partner has soft lips, I tighten my grip on his shoulder when he deepens the kiss.

The song ends and it’s like our bubble doesn’t burst. He looks at me smiling, pecking my lips once again, before dragging me behind him towards the inner gardens. I’m giggling like a teenager, living my prom in my early thirties instead of at seventeen. He presses me to one of the pillars of the city hall, his right hand on it while his left hand cups my right cheek and his lips find mine again. My hands find his arms and I’m sliding them until I reach the back of his neck, pulling him a little more into me. I’ve never been kissed like this, ever. I don’t know how long I stay here, kissing a perfect stranger but it feels so right and maybe, just maybe for once, I can allow myself not to think about Dominick Carisi Jr. I’m still in my bubble until I hear it.

“Goddamn it, where is she ?!”, I recognize my dad’s voice, opening my eyes wide, pulling away from my strange one-night lover and also realize that the city hall clock strikes midnight.

“What is it ?”, my mysterious man asks, whispering.

“I… I have to go”, I answer, murmuring too. “I’m sorry”, I add, pecking his lips one more time before running for my life.

I think he didn’t had time to process because I have time to reach the main entry of the city hall.

“Hey, wait !”, I can hear behind me, but I don’t have time to care about him.

“Dad, wait”, I shoot, from the top of the stairs when I see him walking towards the limo, and by the way he walks, I can say that he drank more that he should have. “Dad”, I lift my dress and start to run down the stairs.

I manage to reach the car, after I struggled with a hole in the stairs and the heel of one of my shoes.

“There you are”, my dad’s drunk voice greets me when I sit down, and the driver starts to drive. “I saw you kissing I don’t know who. I know I told you you should have fun, but I didn’t think that you would take it that way. “What ?”, he asks suddenly.

“My shoe, I lost one of my shoes, and my shawl”, I say, looking down at my feet, unknotting my mask.

“Well play, now your mysterious prince charming is going to make all the girls from New York trying that shoe to find you.”

“Dad, please stop”, I just manage to say, too tired to bite back at him, because all I want now is to go back home and sleep, probably replaying myself the dance and the kiss to put myself to sleep.

Sonny’s POV

I’m dressing myself, hoping that this will have a good effect for the masquerade ball. I made some research before I chose my outfit for tonight. I didn’t really want to look like a prince charming, I wanted to try something different and I remembered that Y/N once mentioned that there was a masquerade ball in a musical she has seen several times with her father when she was younger, The Phantom of the Opera. I checked online to see what the suit and the mask looked like and I decided to wear it. I just took a mask that was a little different.

“Hey Carisi, nice disguise”, Fin says when he parks in front of my building.

“Wanted to do something a little less conventional than usual, play the game”, I respond.

“Play the game dressing as The Phantom of the City Hall ?”, he mocks me. “Maybe you do that for a certain Y/H/C with Y/E/C lady.”

“She’s supposed to be here, with her father, but with the masks, I’m not sure that I’ll recognize her, she can be dressed in any outfit.”

“Let’s just hope you’ll find her. Now we better get going, I have to take Phoebe on the way.”

We stop by Phoebe’s apartment where she comes out dressed in an amazing dress. Once at the city hall and in the ball room, I look around to see if I spot Y/N or Mr. McCoy, or maybe Kat, as she and Y/N are best friend, she probably knows how she’s dress. After a first drink and some appetizers, I grab another champagne glass and go upstairs, looking at the ball room from the balcony. That’s when I see her. No not Y/N. A girl with Y/H/C in a blue dress, with a matching mask, a butterfly covering half of her face. I don’t know what she’s doing, but she’s looking at everything in an awe. I don’t know why but I feel attract by that girl, I gulp my coupe and go back downstairs. I don’t know what she’s searching or looking for but she’s about to go in a room she can’t go. I don’t say a word, just touch her arm. She turns around, she’s stunning, outstanding, she takes my breath away. A real princess. I just grab her hand and kiss it. I look at the dancefloor, silently asking her if she wants to dance, she just nods and smile. I take her in the middle of it, we’re surrounded by other people. I take her hand in mine and put my other hand on her hip, while she puts her free hand on my shoulder. We sway slowly, following the slow rhythm of the song, some tune that was released when I was like fifteen. I never leave her eyes, gorgeous Y/E/C eyes. I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need I love you more with every breath truly, madly, deeply do, I don’t even know who she is but those are words I would tell that girl. Those are words I would tell Y/N if I dared to tell her how I feel about her, but I’ll probably never say it. At some point I can see her eyes travelling from my eyes to my lips, I’m attracted to her and I want to kiss her, badly. Once again, I silently ask her, and she silently agrees. I press my lips to hers in a slow but tender kiss. Her fingers tighten around my shoulder. Nothing else exists but her and me, it’s like there is a bubble around us. The song ends but I don’t want that night to finish. I peck her lips one more time and take her hand to go to the pillars near the inner gardens. She giggles and I find that this is the cutest sound I’ve ever heard. I press her to one the pillars, I steady myself putting my right hand on the pillar and I cup her cheek with my left hand, and I kiss her again. That’s the first time I kiss a total stranger and it’ll probably be the last time, but it feels right. Her hands go up my arms and find their place behind my neck pulling me into her. I don’t know how long our kiss lasts, but suddenly, she pulls away.

“Goddamn it, where is she ?!”, a voice shouts from I don’t know where and the city hall clock strikes midnight.

“What is it ?”, I ask her, whispering.

“I… I have to go”, she answers, murmuring too. “I’m sorry”, she adds, pecking my lips one more time before she runs for her life.

I’m completely taken aback as she runs away.

“Wait !”, I shout, running after her, but she’s already at the other side of the room, still running. I might have long legs, the crowd stops me to reach her.

I look over people’s heads to see her, her head turning from right to left as if she’s looking for someone. Suddenly, she’s on the run again.

“Hey, wait !”, I shout, making people looking at me.

I see her running down the stairs and when I finally reach the entry and go down the stairs, she dives into a limo and the car leaves.

“Wait !”, I shout once again, going down the stairs, trying to catch the car, but it’s too late.

With rage I rip off the mask from my face.

“Fuck !”

“Carisi, what’s going on ?”, I can see Kat at the top of the stairs.

“There’s, there’s that girl, I danced with her she… She…”, I suddenly stop seeing a blue shoe stuck in the concrete of the stairs and a blue tulle shawl fluttering around.

I bend to take the shoe and I can see Kat going down to me, the blue shawl in her hands.

“Oh, she really made her inner Cinderella pop out, dancing with the prince, loosing a shoe, leaving at midnight”, she says.

“What ?”, I ask.

“Nothing”, she answers.

“You know who she is don’t you ?”, I question her.

“I’m not saying a thing”, she responds. “You will have to find your princess by yourself”, she adds, handing me the shawl.

I take the shawl in my hands along with the shoes and turn back to where the car disappeared, not knowing how I’ll be able to find who that girl is.

Y/N’s POV

I slept at my dad’s after the Masquerade ball, I let the dress flood around my feet in my childhood room and find a few clothes I let in the apartment in case I have to sleep here. Nothing changed since the moment I left home, the decoration is still the same, the sheets on the bed are still the ones with animals and I found an old pink pajama in the chest of drawers. My phone beeps, it’s a message from Kat ‘Girl, I saw you dancing with that guy and most importantly kissing him. Who is he ? So, no more pinning over Carisi ? I want to know everything. Love ya’. I respond her that we will talk about it later. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I fell asleep, replaying in my head the dance and the kiss.

The next morning, my father drops me at my apartment before going at the airport and wishing me a merry Christmas. I wave at him when the car goes away, sighing, wondering how I’ll get my shoe back and if I’ll ever know who my mysterious prince charming was.

The next three days nothing really happen either, at work it’s still really calm, and I take advantage of it to clean a little and sort the old files which are ready to go in the archives. Sonny seems to be somewhere else, in his own world, I don’t know what he’s thinking about, lost in his thoughts, only snapping back to Earth when I knock on the door. He barely speaks or asks me things, plays with his food when we eat. He seems to look at something that he hides when I enter his office. It’s Wednesday and frankly I don’t really know what to do. I had a phone call with Kat, who asked me about my prince charming if I found out who he was, and I said no. I also told her that I lost one of my shoes and my shawl and asked if she found it or anyone, she said she didn’t see any blue shoe nor shawl and that I should ask the city hall. That I did but, they didn’t find it either. I wonder who can have my shoe and my shawl. Well, I’m not sure that anyone would do anything with a thin tulle shawl and a single shoe.

I continue to sort my files, humming the song I danced on with my mysterious blue-eyed prince charming.

Sonny’s POV

I have the impression that I spend my time starring at this shoe sing Saturday night. It’s Wednesday and I still don’t know to whom it belongs to, nor the tulle shawl. Luckily, we don’t really have work so I can think about what happened during the ball than being distracted of my work. I take the shoe and the shawl everywhere with me, hiding it when someone, mostly Y/N, knocks on the door. Serena came in between and gushed about the ball, saying it was a shame that she didn’t see or dance with me. But she spoke about that mysterious girl with the Cinderella dress dancing with an also mysterious man dressed as the Phantom of the Opera and that a lot of persons are talking about them, the mysterious couple. I clearly understood that she was jealous because she wasn’t the center of the attention. Knowing her a little, she would have brag about herself if she was the girl in the Cinderella dress. Honestly, I’m relieved that it’s not her. Actually, I’d preferred that Cinderella was Y/N to choose. She’s very quiet for the last three days, I’m not really talkative either, each of us in our own world. I didn’t even ask her how the ball was for her. We don’t have a lot to do, it’s almost like criminals decided to be nice this year.

It’s very early and I don’t have a lot to do and I think that Y/N doesn’t have a lot to do either, I could take her out for lunch, we have plenty of time. She started to sort old files to store them in the archives, but I don’t think she has many to do after two days of doing it already. I open the door and I can hear her softly humming a song. At first, I don’t recognize it, but then ‘I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need I love you more with every breath truly, madly, deeply do’. The song, the Masquerade ball song, the I danced on with Cinderella. It’s her, Cinderella is Y/N ! Realization strikes, same hair color, same eyes, how couldn’t I even realize it before ? I step back in my office and take the shoe and the shawl out of the drawer before going back to the hall.

“I wanna stand with you on a mountain, I wanna bathe with you in the sea, I wanna lay like this forever, Until the sky falls down on me.”

Hearing these words, she turns around, looking at me with wide eyes, falling on the shoe and the shawl between my hands.

Y/N’s POV

Behind me, I hear the chorus of the song from the ball. I turn around and I can feel my eyes widen when I realize that prince charming is Dominick freaking Carisi Jr., my own boss, the guy I’m heads over heels for, for a year. My eyes fall on the shoe in his hand, my shoe, the one I lost.

“It was you all along”, he almost murmurs. “I think this is yours”, he adds, kneeling in front of me before I can even rise from my chair.

He removes my left shoe from my foot and slips the blue one on. I don’t even respond, I just look into his beautiful blue orbs, wondering how I couldn’t see that it was him all along. How couldn’t I not recognize someone I see almost every day for more than a year. He gets on his feet and holds his hand to me so I can get up too. None of us say a word, he just slips the shawl around my shoulders.

“It seems that people are talking about us”, he says, his voice still soft and without raising his tone, and I look up to him. “What happened Saturday night, you have no idea for how long I wanted this to happen”, he adds, his hand cupping my cheek, making me look at him. I start to touch his arms, my eyes never leaving his. “Y/N, can I kiss you again ? Because to be honest, that’s the only thing I’ve been thinking about for the last three days and the moment you ran away.”

“Yes, you can, Dominick. And for the record, that’s the only thing I’ve been thinking about too.”

In no time, he bends his head, and his lips are on mine giving me a soft but yet passionate kiss. I snake my arms around his neck, one of my hands starts to play with his hair, allowing him to pull me a little more into his tall frame, one of his hands finds its way behind my head, when his second arm wraps itself around my waist. Once again, I feel like I’m in a bubble, here in Sonny Carisi’s arms, it’s like nothing can harm me there.

“Excuse me, what the hell is going on here ?”

We both turn our heads to the voice coming from the other side of my desk. Vanessa Hadid is here, starring at us.

“Miss McCoy, I don’t think I pay you to make out with one of my ADAs. You are paid to assist him, not to kiss him. Mr. Carisi, I don’t think that behavior is appropriated, and this could make both of you fired. Or I can send Miss McCoy back to her little whole downstairs. Your choice Miss McCoy, either you and counsellor Carisi stop there your little make out session and go back to normal relationship, or you can go back to your little hole in the archives or if I want to, I can fire you right away.”

That’s too much this time, it’s the final straw. Sonny lets go of me and I smooth my clothes.

“Ms. Hadid, may I’m going to tell you something, and I don’t want to be interrupted. I don’t know what I’ve done to you or why you don’t like me. Is it because of my name ? Because my father is one of the greatest and most famous ADA and then DA that city ever known ? Is that an ego problem ? Let me tell you something. I know you’re the one who hired me, so I don’t think that you have see my resume, but if you look at it, you’ll see that I have a law degree, just like you, just like counsellor Carisi, just like my father, the great Jack McCoy. I just chose a different path. I spent a lot of time around here when I was a kid. When I was old enough to work, I helped my father, was his PA and I loved the job, that’s why I chose to be a PA rather than a lawyer. What you’re doing to me is harassment, once again I don’t know why, but I think that it must be because my name is McCoy, that for you maybe I’m privilege because of that. Breaking new, I’m not. But you know what, I know my rights, nothing authorizes you to fire me just because I’m in a relationship with a coworker, especially of it doesn’t jeopardize our work. Sonny and I are a great team. So, threating me of fire me because of that, you don’t have the right to. I could sue you for that you know, and believe me, you never saw me in court. My father could represent me, go out of his retirement, and plead for me. Or I could do it by myself, and believe me, as Jack McCoy’s daughter, I know how to defend a case. So now Ms. Hadid, threat me one more time for no reason and I’ll sue you, and I can guarantee you, that you’ll not win.”

She opens and closes her mouth like a goldfish out of its tank.

“If you both think that this relationship will not have a bad influence on your work, there is no problem for me. I just wanted to let you know that I’m on a break from now to the end of the holidays. Both of you have nice holidays and I’ll see you in January.”

With that, she leaves, letting me and Sonny alone in my hall.

“I didn’t know you had a law degree”, Sonny wraps his arms around my waist.

“Oh, I don’t tell everyone in fact. Everyone would think that they need to hire me as a lawyer because of my father and I don’t want that. Plus, I think I wouldn’t have made a good attorney. I’m satisfied with my work”, I shrug.

I look at him, hair disheveled from my hands, so far from their usual combing.

“Do you want to have lunch outside ?”, he asks.

“Dominick Carisi Jr., are you asking me out ?”

“If you want it to be a date, this can be, Miss McCoy.”

“I’d love to”, I respond, “but maybe it would be better if I wear the same shoes”, I laugh.

I sit down again on my chair to change my shoe for my boot. When I’m on my feet again, Sonny hands me my coat and helps me to put it. When I’m ready, we walk hand in hand to the elevator.

“Still nothing planned for Christmas ?”, he questions.

“Nope, nothing but tv and probably Chinese takeout.”

“What if you come with me at my parents’ ? One more person will not change anything. And my mom will be very impressive that I managed to put the glass slipper on Cinderella’s foot.”

I laugh and I accept, I really have a good feeling about this.

Taglist :

@bisexualcrowley, @storiesofsvu, @the16thprecinct, @svu-ncis-criminalminds, @australiancarisi, @teamsladsandgents, @thatesqcrush, @caplanreads, @averyhotchner,

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moonctzeny · 4 years ago

Text

Never really yours

anon: Just wanted to say that "The bet" was absolutely cute!!! If you are still taking requests, I'd love to have celebrity!au + Taeyong + exes + 26 I'm looking forward to your next writings :)!

“Baby, please. Being with you once a month is still so much better than not being with you at all. I can’t live without you” “And I can’t keep looking for flakes of happiness in the same place that I lost it”.

pairing: celebrity! Taeyong x fem! reader

genre: angst, smut

word count: 1,734

warnings: mentions of death, drinking, slight body worship, breakups, for the love of god don’t read this if you’re freshly broken up

a/n: sorry for the angst, hope you like it anon!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

How did you get yourself into this mess again?

He looks good, his hair a turquoise shade only he could pull off that well. You wondered how he found time to attend your common friend’s birthday party tonight, it’s been months since anyone in your life had seen him in person. Being a k-pop idol meant having almost no free time and as Taeyong’s ex-girlfriend, you knew that too well.

You don’t know how you found yourself tangled up with him in your sheets.

It started off with an awkward greeting, your friend’s apartment not big enough for you to avoid stumbling upon each other. He asks you about your life, about work, about your favourite TV show ending. You lie about everything being fine, not mentioning the fact that you’ve been waking up crying every night because he keeps visiting your dreams. Hugging your waist, kissing your knuckles, only for you to open your eyes to see the cold spot he left in your bed. In turn, you ask him about Ruby, and when he tells you she passed away, big eyes brimmed with tears and avoiding yours, you insist you sit down with him and share a beer.

Taeyong isn’t a good drinker, but he would gladly do it if it meant spending more time with you. An hour of catching up and you remember exactly what drew you to him in the first place and what convinced you to get in a committed relationship with someone so unattainable. He is so sensitive, so sweet. Attentive to everything you had to say, gentle and encouraging with his words. He always knew how to calm you down, all your problems you shared with him shrinking into nothingness the moment he reassured you everything was going to be okay.

You know you shouldn’t have let him grab your hands, but the circles he drew on them with his thumbs had a drug-like effect on you. You know you shouldn’t have run your hands through his hair, but the little mewl he let as he nuzzled his head against you, made all your constraints fall out the window.

“I can’t stop thinking about you”, he murmurs as soon as the beer can is less than half full and you choose to believe him. He insists on walking you home and you agree, knowing damn well he will follow you upstairs without any complaints from you.

From the moment he steps into your apartment, he has his lips glued on yours. Hungry, fervent kisses were exchanged between you, making you struggle to lock your front door. You move onto the couch, never breaking away from each other and discarding a piece of clothing with each step.

“I’ve missed you so much”, Taeyong whispers against your lips and you want to pinch yourself to make sure this isn’t one of the countless scenarios your mind fabricates for you in your sleep. You want to say it back but you’ve cried it so many times in your pillow that it seemed pointless to be repeated.

He pulls you on his lap, hands running over your sides to unfasten your bra. Sucking one of your nipples into his mouth, his doe eyes look up at you to gauge your reaction. He loves when you tell him he does a good job, that he makes you feel good, such a people pleaser that it makes your heart ache.

“Mmm, yes baby. Your lips feel so good”

His eyes light up in your praise, urging him to flick his tongue over your bud until you’re moaning his name. You know your pleasure is his number one priority but the sensitivity is getting too much and you haven’t had enough of him yet. Crouching down, you pull his hair to rest on the couch’s headrest when you start nibbling on his neck.

“No marks”, he pleads, “I have a photoshoot tomorrow”

Ah, yes, there it is. That stomach-churning feeling that has the memories you’ve tried so hard to repress flooding your mind in a second. That little voice that reminds you that Taeyong is never really yours. Missed birthdays, missed anniversaries, missed calls. Homemade dinner you prepared for him getting cold due to another practice taking too long. Waiting for a week for a mere notification, a voice message. Only getting to hear his voice by turning on the TV, seeing his smile through a screen. Were you his significant other or his fan? Did his most loyal fans know even more about your boyfriend than you? No. Maybe they knew about his favourite number, or his album sales, but you knew how to do this.

You kneel down in front of him, springing his member out of his boxers and putting him into your mouth. Slurping around him intensely, you let your tongue hang out as his tip hits your soft palate. He moans at the feeling and you gloat over the sounds he is making just for you. You knew how to make him feel good, and you had to prove to yourself that you meant something to him, maybe even as much as he meant to you.

After some more minutes of your pampering he pulls you up, and starts leaving kisses over every part of your body his lips can reach. He murmurs about how beautiful they are, how beautiful you are, how much he missed you. His words were as sweet as they were addictive, so you lead him to your bedroom to shut him up.

Taeyong soon finds himself on top of you, naked and rubbing his cock over your folds that are undoubtedly wet by this point. You haven’t slept with anyone since your breakup but you don’t tell him that. Hell, you couldn’t even admit to yourself that his loving was the only physical contact you were really craving, but the moment he dives into you it’s hard to deny it.

He captures your lips in a devout kiss, contrasting his deepening thrusts. You hold on to his arms to try and ground yourself from the pleasure that is devouring you completely. This feels so familiar, so right that you want to scream. How unfair is it that someone has to rip these moments of intimacy with him, that you need near as damn much as oxygen at this point, away from you?

One of his thrusts soon hits that sensitive spot in you and you moan at him loudly to do it again. He concentrates in pleasuring you more deeply and opens your legs further in the process, pinning your knees onto the mattress. The motion is rigorous and your neighbors must hate you for the thumping of the bedpost against the wall but you couldn’t care less. His eyes are focused on your contorting expressions, widening the moment your mouth drops open at the wave of your orgasm washing over you.

Nothing can compare to the feeling of having the person you genuinely love connect with you through body and soul. In these serotonin-filled moments of your pussy gripping him, trying to coax an orgasm from him, nothing has changed. You’re still together, like those times you sneaked a quicky in his dorms after dance practice. Or those times he managed to stay over at your place to have a movie marathon and binge on his favorite sweet potato snacks. Or those rare times he took you out on a date under the moonlight of the UN Village hills, making promises about forevers.

Taeyong doesn’t take long to cum, panting and glistening in after-sex glow, and you think you’ve never seen anything more stunning. He plops next to you, one arm serving as a pillow under your head, the other drawing abstract shapes over your tummy. You don’t know what to say as the euphoria starts to wear off, leaving you in the uncomfortable realization of what you just did. He is the one who breaks the silence first.

“Sometimes, I sit in bed and wonder what would happen if things were different”

Oh, God knows you did too. You’ve spent the majority of your relationship daydreaming about an alternative universe, where Taeyong is just your colleague from work that you started dating, where you can go to the grocery store down the street with him, or kiss his hand in the daylight without fearing for his career ending. Your answer was quite different though.

“Don’t. There’s no use.”

He turns his torso around, leaning on the hand behind you to look at you.

“Why?”

“Because”, you sigh, hating the way he furrows his eyebrows like he didn’t agree with your breakup as well, “you won’t give up being a celebrity and I can’t stand only seeing you once a month. We’ve been over this”

“Well, this time it can be different! I can ask for less promotions and you can ask for more day offs. We can make this work!”

“No, we can’t Taeyong!” You move away from him now, using up every ounce of self-control to deny him. “You think I didn’t try as hard as I could the first time around? This isn’t sustainable and you know it.”

“Why can’t we just try again? And if it doesn’t work then-”

“Then what? What will happen when I need you and you won’t be able to be here? Do you know how much it fucking hurts to only hold on to memories of you? It almost doesn’t matter if we’re together or not, I still miss you all the same!”

You get up from the bed, covering yourself with a bathrobe, blinking again and again to keep the tears from spilling out. He is looking back at you with those big puppy eyes that you love the most and you hate yourself for the way they lost their sparkle.

“Baby, please. Being with you once a month is still so much better than not being with you at all. I can’t live without you”

“And I can’t keep looking for flakes of happiness in the same place that I lost it”. It was so hard to avoid his eye contact, so hard to keep yourself from snuggling up to him in the bedsheets and let yourself get carried away in the lie. But you had to be strong, for the both of you. “I think it’s time you should go”

#taeyong smut #taeyong angst #taeyong scenarios #nct smut #nct scenarios #superm #superm smut #superm scenarios #lee taeyong #nct angst #nct 2020 #taeyong

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harrysweasleys · 4 years ago

Text

Lost

Request: Hii could you do a Draco x reader where she's the super perfect student, really kind and happy girl but one day he finds her drinking and smoking and crying because she's so sad and like, lost?thank youu💗

Warnings: language, underaged drinking

Word Count: 3k

A/N: so this is a little ooc but i tried my best! also, my requests are still open but i’ve got a long line so it might be a while, sorry to those still waiting! xxx (gif is not mine.)

“I mean did you see the look on Bell’s face when I knocked the Bludger at her face?” Pansy grinned, flopping down on the couch next to you, her hair still wind-swept from the Quidditch match she had won with Slytherin that afternoon.

“I did see her face, you did a good job,” you replied, grinning, “It’s always nice to get a win.”

“I’m still surprised you didn’t come back to the Quidditch team this year. We miss our Keeper,” she playfully nudged your shoulder, knocking you over to the side slightly.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry, Pans,” you sighed, “I’m really trying to focus on my NEWTs so I didn’t want the distraction. But I still love watching!”

“Psh, it’s not the same,” she rolled her eyes, “Besides, I could talk to you about how our stupid captain likes to inflate his ego.” You giggled lightly, remembering all the good gossip sessions the two of you shared while you were on the team.

“Wouldn’t be talking about me, now would you?” Draco asked, sitting on the couch opposite of you, his hair tousled and his nose still pink from the brisk outdoor air.

“Never,” you smiled, lifting your legs to place your toes closer to the fire. Despite the fireplace that raged on every hour of the day, the common room always had a chill in the air — being in the dungeons and under the Black Lake probably had something to do with it. It didn’t help that you got cold easily.

“How’d you like the game?” he nudged his head in your direction, placing his hands behind his head and leaning back, closing his eyes in exhaustion. His jawline stuck out and his eyelashes fluttered shut, brushing against the pale skin of his cheeks.

You shook your head, clearing your thoughts, “Good. You all did really well. Nice job catching the Snitch too.”

He opened his eyes once more and grinned at you, “Always love your positivity. See, Pansy, this is how true friends behave. They don’t hit each other with broomsticks.”

You hid your giggle, watching as Pansy leaned forwards with her eyes wide, “You were being an arse, Malfoy.”

“C’mon, Pans, did you actually hit him with a broom?” you asked, still containing your giggles. The two of them had a bantering friendship, never really seeing eye-to-eye, but they didn’t exactly hate each other either. You were often stuck playing mediator.

“Yes, she did, I have a bruise on my eyebrow,” Draco leaned forwards, pointing to his eyebrow. You couldn’t see much considering the fire was the only light source, but you pretended to see it.

“What did he do to deserve a broomstick whack?” you turned to Pansy, a light smile on your lips as Draco leaned back into the couch cushion with a scowl on his face, directed straight at the girl sitting next to you.

“He let his ego get in the way. When we were celebrating the win, he said we wouldn’t have won if he didn’t catch the Snitch,” she glared at him, arms crossed, “So — like I said, he was an arse.”

You nodded, feeling like you were in the middle of a fight between two children who were arguing about who hit who first.

“Aw, and how did that make you feel?” you placed a hand on her shoulder condescendingly, making her scoff and whack your arm away. You started laughing, ignoring the way she stood up and flipped Malfoy off before going towards the dorm rooms and disappearing behind the door.

“Drama Queen,” Draco mumbled, getting up from his spot on the couch and coming to sit next to you, taking the seat that was previously Pansy’s.

“Says you,” you retaliated, a smirk on your face. You turned to face him, noticing the bruise above his eyebrow now that the fire light was hitting it directly. Despite the little mark, he still looked really good.

Now, you and Draco weren’t exactly dating, but it was clear that there was some sort of connection between you two. From the moment you had met, you picked up on how different he was. Entitled, yes, but he had a certain intriguing air about him that drew you in, and he found the same about you.

He was tough, while you were kind. He was rebellious and hard, while you were focused and passionate. There was a fire in his eyes, ready to burn through whatever stood in his way, while you used the road that didn’t exactly require demolition.

Long story short, you were polar opposites, and that’s exactly what drew you to each other. You had a soft spot for each other and despite the flirting and the touching, you stayed friends and your other friends stayed oblivious.

“I’m not dramatic,” he mumbled, bringing you back to reality, “I’m just — shall we say determined?”

“Keep telling yourself that,” you grinned, pushing your shoulder up against his like Pansy had done to you beforehand.

“I will,” he grinned softly, gazing down at you with tired eyes, “Also, I saw you wore my sweater to the game.”

Your cheeks flushed, “Oh, sorry, I just saw it since you left it on the back of the chair last night and—,”

“No, I liked it,” he cut you off, chuckling, “It was cute.”

You sat back silently, grinning to yourself like a bit of an idiot, but trying your best to keep cool. After a good moment of comfortable silence, you peeled your eyes away from the cozy fireplace and turned to face Draco, who was mid-yawn.

“I’m off to bed then,” he stood up abruptly and smiled down at you, “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” you smiled back, watching his retreating form take off towards the boys dormitory, only to disappear seconds later with a silent shutting of the door.

You sulked back into the couch, noticing for the first time that you were indeed alone in the common room. The clock on the wall pointed at 12:13am — you had no idea it was this late. Where had the time gone?

A part of you was overwhelmed with sudden loneliness, tiredness, and fatigue, while the other part of you felt incredibly awake and aware of how currently small you felt in the entire world around you.

It didn’t make much sense, but your mind was prone to drifting away while you were tired. You’d think about how your parents hadn’t contacted you since you were told you got accepted to Hogwarts — you were a muggleborn — and they felt as if your ‘abnormality’ was too big to overcome. You’d think about how you had no idea why the magical world had picked you. You’d think about what you even wanted to do in the future.

You had spoken to Snape last year about working in Magical Law Enforcement, but you weren’t so sure anymore. Things had changed now that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had returned, and you weren’t sure if you were ready to face it.

There were so, so many things that you kept bottled up, not watching to spill your deepest darkest emotions to your friends and scare them away. So, you put up the constant facade of a girl who wore a smile and held her head high.

After all, that’s the only side of you people saw anyways.

— —

The corridors are night were almost more magical than they were during the day. The lanterns lit up the walls and cast looming shadows over the intricate stone. The stars were clear from the mountainside and the moon’s light shone down upon the castle like that was its entire purpose.

You thought it was gorgeous.

Which is often why you found yourself wandering the halls in the hours before curfew, finding deserted halls and empty chambers to explore and discover. Luckily, due to the colder weather out, other students would rush back to the warmth of their dorms after dinner time, so you got to lurk around in privacy.

You found an open hallway overlooking the lake and decided to climb through the opening and sit on the ledge, admiring the way the moon’s light shone down on the ripples to look like dancing stars. And the way that the actual stars reflected off as well, as if the night sky had been placed into the lake.

The cool breeze passed through your hair, goosebumps rising in its wake. You could feel the way you entire body was ready to collapse, ready to fall over and stay there, but you held yourself up enough to reach into your thick jacket and pull out a flask.

Yes, you were underaged. No, you hadn’t stolen this.

Well, not technically.

You had stayed with your aunt and uncle over the last summer holidays and they had given you a flask for your birthday gift. A strange gift, if you had to admit, but it came in much handier than you expected.

So, you got rebellious. One day when they were out, you had filled the flask with an old bottle of Whiskey which hadn’t been touched in ages. And now, you carried the full flask around in case you found yourself at a low point.

Like now.

The day had been great up until now. Classes passed by smoothly, Draco and Pansy had kept their bickering to a minimum, and you had even been spoken to by Snape — your head of House — about being promoted to Prefect next term. You were more excited about it than you wanted to let on. Being Prefect meant you’d get to spend more time with Draco, who was of course, already one.

But as supper time came around, it was as if all of your good feelings were too good to be true. You couldn’t pinpoint exactly where your mood started to plummet, but after your cat — Mister Flufferson — got sick, and your period came on strong as well as a migraine headache and an overwhelming feeling of longing to have a break, you found yourself wanting to be alone for a good amount of time.

So that’s how you ended up sitting over the lake, silent tears pouring down your eyes and the flask gripped tightly in your right hand, lifting every so often just enough for you to take another sip.

The fiery liquid burned your throat, leaving it feeling like it was being scorched, but you kept on. The pain felt number by the second, and the fluttery feeling in your belly kept growing.

The tears didn’t stop, but you weren’t sobbing. You weren’t curled up on the floor with your head in your knees. You were just crying. Crying because you didn’t know how to deal with the feeling of being sad. Crying because you felt helpless, like there was nothing you could do to even help yourself. Crying because although you gave your time and energy to comfort your friends, none of them ever checked up on you because you just seemed happy.

So you kept drinking sip by sip until the dancing lights on the lake were more amusing than they had ever been.

“I don’t know, usually she’s out but something about her seemed different tonight,” a voice echoed down the corridor, making you close the flask quickly and widen your eyes.

Shit.

If it was a teacher, you’d be in deep trouble.

“Well, I don’t know what to tell you,” a second voice spoke, “She’s always fine so she’s probably still fine.”

“Can you shut up, Parkinson?” the first voice snapped back. Your mind, although fuzzy, could make out the voices of Pansy and Draco, their heavy footsteps moving closer to you by the second.

You hopped over the ledge, hiding behind the stone wall and placing the flask back in your coat pocket. The sudden jump made your body suddenly nauseous, and you had to place your hand over your mouth to keep your dinner in.

“Did you hear that?” Draco’s voice seemed much closer.

“No. I’m going back to the common room, I’m freezing,” Pansy’s teeth were clattering, “when she comes back safe and sound I’ll be able to say I told you so.”

And with that, her footsteps retreated down the hall around around the corner.

You knew Draco was still standing there, so you continued trying to be quiet. But, to your extreme misfortune, you let out an incredibly loud hiccough.

“Is someone there?” Draco’s voice was louder, he was no longer trying to be quiet.

“No,” you replied back just as loud, smacking your forehead as you realized you gave yourself away.

His head immediately peered over the ledge, seeing you crouched down in the grass.

“Y/N! I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” he spoke sternly, his face trying to be strict but his eyes showing clear signs of concern, “Why are you hiding down here in the grass?” He stuck out his hand for you to grab, which you did.

“No reason,” you let him pull you up, but you stumbled as you made your way over the ledge, his hands steadying you by grabbing your waist.

“Wait — were you crying?” his eyes noticed yours, the red puffiness giving you away.

“Of course not,” you sniffed, pulling away from him and using the wall to steady yourself. You had either stood up way too fast or the whiskey was getting to your head, but dizziness was very much present.

“Yes you were, don’t lie to me,” he walked closer to you, “Are you drunk?”

His tone made you wince, “No. I just had some whimsey.”

He crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow, “Whimsey? You mean whiskey? Merlin, Y/N, what were you thinking?”

You stood up taller, squaring your shoulders so you didn’t look so weak and pathetic.

“I wasn’t thinking, Draco,” you replied softly, “Just let me be.”

Of course, you didn’t want him to leave you alone. If anything you wanted his company more than anything, but you hated the fact that now he’d seen you at your lowest.

“I’m not leaving you,” he placed a hand on your shoulder. You weren’t sure what caused it, but next thing you know, you let out a sob and leaned against his shoulder, your body shaking and your tears soaking his robes.

“Woah, what’s wrong?” he placed his arms around you, pulling you even closer to him so that he could be your support. He was the last person you wanted to show signs of weakness too, but at the same time, the only person you’d want comforting you.

“I’m just... I don’t know. Sad,” you tried speaking through your sobs, your words muffled against his clothing.

“Hey, talk to me, I’m here,” he coaxed soothingly, hands slowly rubbing circles on your back. You continued to cry, but brought your face away from his shoulder to look at him, nodding slightly.

So you told him everything. Maybe it was the whiskey still in your system that made you braver, but you told him about every dark, hollow feeling that was lurking in your chest. Every worry that you had, every insecurity. Every problem. Everything.

And he sat there and listened to every single word.

After you finished rambling — what felt like two hours later — he pulled you into the tightest hug you had ever felt.

“I’m so sorry,” he mumbled against your hair, “I had no idea you felt that way. I’m the worst friend. I didn’t even notice you were at your low. I’m so sorry, I was selfish.” He rubbed your back once more, “I’m sorry you felt alone but you’re not. I’m here. I’m always here for you. To listen, to vent, to help, to give advice, to reassure. Whatever you need, I’m here.”

“Thanks, Draco,” you muttered, letting out a deep sigh now that a massive weight felt lifted off your shoulders. Your tears had slowed down, but Draco didn’t pull away from the embrace.

“Always here,” he repeated, “Always here.”

Eventually, you pulled away to be able to breathe. His hug was practically bone crushing. Comforting, but your ribs were hurting.

Your confession sobered you up, and you gazed into his eyes to thank him for everything.

“You’re really beautiful, you know?” he asked softly, his hand making its way up and resting against your cheek, “It’s a bad time, I know but you really are.”

All the coldness left your body and was replaced by warmth. Your cheeks turned pink and you felt your insides bubble in joy.

“T-Thanks,” you grinned, trying to hide the creeping redness on your face, “You’re pretty cute too.”

“I know,” he smirked, shrugging. You giggled, whacking his arm softly, “I’m just joking. I appreciate it, Y/N.”

He leaned closer to you once more and pressed a delicate kiss on your forehead. Most people had never known Draco Malfoy to be soft or delicate in any way, but that was the only side of him you really knew. To you, he was a totally different person than everyone else believed.

“Also a bad time, I don’t want to take advantage of you or anything, but do you — uh — wanna go to Hogsmeade with me? Next weekend?” he asked hopefully, his hand pulling away from you.

You couldn’t fight the smile that rose to your mouth. For months you had imagined what it would be like to go on a date with him, and here he was. Finally asking you.

“Of course,” you grinned like an idiot, biting your lip to stop yourself looking crazy.

“Good,” he nodded his head, a smile on his face as well, “Good, good.”

“Should we head back to the common room?” you asked, lacing your fingers with his. He nodded, still smiling at you, and the two of you started walking slowly back down to the dungeons. The cold air no longer really a problem as his hand was still linked with yours, the happy warmth replacing every bad feeling you had felt that night. You felt as if now that Draco was on your side, everything would end up being so much better, so much easier to deal with.

As the two of you walked into the common room, both still smiling with your hands locked, a squeal startled you both.

Pansy, unaware of the situation you had both just been through, looked down at your intertwined hands with a massive grin.

“Finally!”

#draco malfoy #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy imagines #draco malfoy fic #draco malfoy fics #draco malfoy one shot #draco malfoy one shots #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy reader insert

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procrastinatorimagines · 4 years ago

Text

I Want Us Part 2

Fandom: SVU / Chicago PD

Series: I Want Us

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7 // Part 8 // Part 9 // Part 10 (Final)

Pairing: Carisi x Reader

Warning/s: mentions of kidnapping

Word Count: 1,513

Summary: When a child abduction case crosses state lines in New York, Intelligence flies out to meet the Special Victims Unit and track down the missing boy. With the clock ticking, both units decide to mix up partners in order to combine their knowledge of the case with knowledge of New York City, pairing Intelligence’s newest member Y/N with Detective Carisi. Soon these new partners find themselves staking out a potential location for their suspect, getting to know each other to pass the time.

Tags: @inlovewith3 //

“Chicago or New York, a stakeout is stakeout,” you yawned, checking your watch through tired eyes. It was coming up to 2 am and while you wanted nothing more than to be asleep, all your intel pointed to O’Connell conducting his business after midnight.

Carisi couldn’t agree more, sat next to you in the drivers seat as you watched bar O’Connell reportedly owned. The place was dark, scaffolding to one side of newspaper covered doors. Apparently, apparently this old run down building was his newest investment, and you’d thought it was a good a place as any to conduct private business, especially the kind involving a missing child that an entire city was out looking for.

Voight and Benson had agreed, you and Carisi had found yourselves parked just down the road, undercover car largely obscured by a hedge and fence. Hours combing through files at his desk had cumulated into this, swapping intel between both units as you all tried to figure out and navigate your new temporary partnerships.

“What is this guy, a vampire or something?” Carisi half joked, half complained. You were both wearing your vests, but had since ditched your police jackets, the heat making both of you more tired that you’d like. The night had brought little relief from the Summer sun that had been beating down all day, the leaves on the hedge barely conveying any signs of a breeze.

“Maybe I was wrong about this,” you admitted after a moment, watching yet another car that wasn’t O’Connell drive down the street and into the distance. None had stopped outside the bar, no one had even walked close to it except an elderly couple on the other side of the street.

Carisi glanced your way for a long moment, watching as you worried your lip as you thought about Logan. You didn’t know what was going through his mind, but he’d been torn away from his entire life by a man he barely knew, and you didn’t want to think about what would happen if you didn’t get him back tonight.

“You trust your gut?” Carisi asked, the question giving you pause. Gut instinct had always been something Voight valued in his Intelligence Unit, you had to trust yourself and those around you if you were going to make it through the day, and catch the bad guy.

“I do,” you told him with conviction. With limited information and limited time, you could afford the luxury of spending days checking out each of O’Connell’s potential locations, it was now or never, and every fiber of your being was telling you that this was the place.

“Well okay,” Carisi replied, “then we stay put. The rest of our units are checking out other possible spots he might show tonight, we’ll get him.” He gave you a reassuring smile and reached into the bag by his feat, pulling out a tupperware box.

You had to ask. “How can you be so confident? I mean the Special Victims Unit, you guys do this kind of thing all the time, I’m not sure I could remain as optimistic as you.” He chuckled at that, offering you what looked like home made cannoli from the box as he thought over your question. You thanked him, devouring the sweet treat a little too eagerly, it tasted great and you hadn’t eaten in hours.

“I have faith, without it I don’t know if I’d have been able to do it for as long as I have,” he answered honestly, “what we do makes a difference, protecting those who need it the most and making the world a little safer, you just need to think about the ones you’ve saved, not the ones you haven’t.”

“But these cases... I mean we deal with the worst people, but you deal with the worst of the worst,” you continued. All the cases in Intelligence that stuck with you were like the cases SVU dealt with all the time, but despite the years he’d spent doing these cases, Carisi still had such a light and hope about him.

Antonio was your partner, and friend, you’d take a bullet for him in a heartbeat, but you’d seen what years on the job had done to him. The divorce, the drugs... it weighed on him, you could see it in his eyes. It had obviously occurred to you that Intelligence wasn’t your average unit by any means, but this different perspective was more refreshing that you expected.

“We also catch the worst of the worst, most of the time,” Carisi countered and you grinned. You hadn’t really thought about it like that, helping yourself to some more food. He regarded you for a second before adding: “you haven’t been a detective long have you?”

You shrugged, “couple of years, moved out of uniform as quickly as I could though, barely got the promotion before Voight offered me a spot in his unit.” You thought back to those early days, how excited you’d been to be offered the job, everyone knew about Intelligence and its reputation, you’d jumped at the chance to be a part of the unit and hadn’t looked back since.

“Give it some time, you’ll find the right mentality you need to process these kinds of cases,” Carisi assured you, eyes flicking back to the deserted, half lit street. You could tell he was just as worried and determined as you were to save Logan, but he also had a calm about him right then that you really wished you could master.

“These are amazing by the way,” you told him, cannoli in hand as you tried to steer the conversation away from the serious edge it had acquired, “did you make them?”

He smiled, eyes lighting up a little. “Yeah I did, family recipe. I like to make them on long stakeouts, keeps the blood sugar high and the spirits up.”

“Well I am going to have to cozy up to your family then if you all cook like this,” you laughed, thinking about your own family, and then thinking about Logan’s as the laughter died.

“So what about you, you cook?” Carisi asked and you pulled yourself out of your worried thoughts.

“Me? Nah, not so much. I mean, I used to, but I never seem to find the time anymore,” you admitted. Working in Intelligence was pretty demanding, worth it, but still, there was only so much take out a person should eat, and you’d definitely surpassed that limit getting back from work after all those late nights.

“Order some of your pie pizzas instead?” He teased and you feigned dramatic insult.

“Oh really? You had to go there?” You laughed, “keep your paper pizzas alright, Chicago knows what it’s doing.” Carisi shook his head and you knew it was an argument neither of you would concede, but you’d found yourself getting pretty comfortable in the car.

“Forgive me if I don’t take the word of someone who only once got a connecting flight through here, have you ever actually had proper New York pizza? Because I’ve had Chicago’s attempt,” he pointed out, causing you to pause with your mouth half open, knowing that you didn’t have anyway to dispute that.

“I- shut up,” you replied like a middle schooler and soon you were both laughing. Carisi was easy to talk to, not just with his clarity about the job, but his welcoming personality too.

“You should try it before you go back to Chicago, after we wrap this case,” he suggested and you offered a little shrug to say you’d think about it just as another car was driving down the road.

You were instantly alert as you noticed the car beginning to slow, both you and Carisi switching gears into police mode as the car pulled up outside of the bar. Gotcha.

You waited with bated breath, one hand resting on the handle of your door while the other inched towards your thigh holster. Carisi radioed in a potential sighting, both ready to go at a moments notice as three figures emerged from the car. Two taller, male, the other quite clearly a child.

While the dimly lit street prevented you both from making a clear ID, the plates on the car matched the ones seen leaving JFK. You and Carisi nodded to each other, this was it. Carisi confirmed the sighting and you were ordered to hold your position unless absolutely necessary, with Voight placing pointed emphasis on your name as he relayed the instructions.

You clenched your jaw, hating waiting as they all went to the entrance of the bar, knocking before being let it. There were other people inside, maybe O’Connell himself. Part of you wanted to go in right now, finish it, but you didn’t know how many people were inside, or how armed they were. Waiting for back up was the only option for now, so you reluctantly sat tight.

“We’ll get him,” Carisi insisted, noticing your tension, just as ready to spring into action as you were.

#sonny carisi #svu #law and order svu #chicago pd #one chicago #sonny carisi x reader #sonny carisi imagine #svu imagine #law and order svu imagine #chicago pd imagine #one chicago imagine #sonny carisi imagines #svu imagines #law and order svu imagines #chicago pd imagines #one chicago imagines #i want us

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tuanhood · 4 years ago

Text

the property manager

pairing: landlord’s son!mark tuan x reader

genre: smut, angst, fluff, kinda everything, strangers(?) to lovers

warnings: 18+, language, power imbalance (kinda yes?), oral sex (male receiving), face f*cking, thigh riding, dirty talk, unprotected sex.

word count: 7,400+

summary: when you get a letter from your landlord about a rent increase, you decide your only option is to try to talk to his property manager and son, Mark.

a/n: um i have nothing to say. actually yes i do. this is kinda of ALL over the place so i’m sorry about that and if it doesn’t make much seNSE but i just had a craving to wrITE THIS! leave me alone. thx bye.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been a stressful day at work. You wanted nothing more than to go upstairs to your apartment and climb into bed.

You had been all over the city looking for a specific kind of cake that your boss had consumed almost a year ago and couldn’t remember where it had been. More often than not, you found yourself doing ridiculous chores as a personal assistant and after the first year you had told yourself it would get better, but it hadn’t. You thought you could prove yourself and get more recognition, possibly working your way to a bigger role at the entertainment company you worked for, but as time passed it seemed more like a dead-end.

Which is why you were considering quitting and looking for something else. You had connections through friends and old contacts, but you weren’t sure if it was worth it to see if they would ultimately pan out or not.

Checking your mail, you flipped through the letters finding mostly bills, until your eyes settled on a letter addressed to you from your landlord and his son, the property manager.

NOTICE OF RENT INCREASE

Dear Tenant,

Due to general cost increases, we are required to increase your rent. This letter is to advise you formally that your rent is being increased to $1,250 per month as of next month.

This increase does not affect any of our mutual obligations under your lease. For example, your rent due date will remain the first of the month or before.

Thank you for your understanding of the cost pressures on us as we do those upon yourself. We appreciate your tenancy and hope you will remain for a long time.

Best regards,

Raymond Tuan | Landlord

Mark Tuan | Property Manager

You read the letter three times. How could they increase your monthly rent by almost three hundred dollars? You had just enough each month to pay for your already overpriced apartment. But perhaps what annoyed you the most was the short notice and their attitude in the letter. They thank you for your understanding and appreciate you, and yet gave you barely any notice for a $250 increase in rent.

It took you a moment to collect yourself, especially after such an exhausting day, but somehow you found yourself marching upstairs to the second floor and angrily knocking on the door of Mark, the landlord’s son and property manager.

There’s no response at first, and you swear you hear noises coming from the apartment, but soon all that’s heard is silence. All of a sudden you hear a “Just one sec!” being yelled through the door along with shuffling.

Before today you hadn’t really paid much attention to Mark. Being the property manager, you of course had met him when you first moved into your apartment over a year ago and often saw him in the building. You would exchange pleasantries when you passed him in the hallway or ran into him when he was getting his mail. But you had never really known much about him besides the fact that his father was the owner of the building and he was there to make sure things ran smoothly in case tenants needed anything.

There was supposedly one interaction you had with him that you found yourself barely remembering. It had been a late night after drinking and your friends had decided to dump you in the hallway of your building, leaving you to fend for yourself and make your own way upstairs to your apartment. The memories you had were hazy, but you could picture yourself sitting on the floor inside of the building’s entry way, drunkenly sobbing about how you were never going to make it home.

The only reason you thought you had interacted with Mark was because the next thing you knew you woke up in bed with a note resting on your bedside table.

Y/N,

Remember to take an ibuprofen or two when you wake up, along with A LOT – and I repeat – A LOT of water. Thanks again for the… uh compliments and I hope you feel better.

- Mark

That was months ago and you had no clue what “compliments” you’d said to him or he fact that Mark was even the one who helped you up to your apartment and into bed. After that you were very adamant about avoiding conversation with him.

When the door finally swung open you were met with Mark’s sweaty face, some of his hair sticking to his forehead and his breath a little shallow. You wondered if he had been working out based on his appearance. Craning your head, you attempted to look past him into his apartment to locate any evidence that could confirm or deny this suspicion, but he followed your motions, blocking the view inside.

“Um what’s up?” He asked.

“It’s about this letter,” you began, but Mark soon stuck his finger out and began shaking it as if remembering something. “Apartment 8A right?”

You nodded simply, “yeah… that’s me. Anyways-”

“You have that cute doormat out front with the kittens on it,” he stated more as a fact rather than a question. You found yourself nodding again and his interruptions led you to believe that he may never let you speak.

“Listen Mark… I got the letter from you and your dad-”

“The landlord,” he corrected and you felt your teeth clench at another intrusion of your sentence. He waved his hand as if to say “go on,” which inherently caused you to crack your knuckles in frustration.

“I got the letter from you and the landlord,” you repeated, this time correcting yourself which Mark smiled at, “and I don’t see how you can increase rent starting next month.”

He furrowed his eyebrows and crossed his arms, leaning against his open doorway, “what do you mean you can’t see it? We wrote it in the letter.”

You looked at him blankly, and couldn’t understand if he was teasing you or if he was actually dumb. Judging by the way he had a slight frown on his face, head tilted to the side and lines forming between his eyebrows, you had your answer.

“No yes, I see that. I just don’t understand how you would even decide to increase the rent $300.”

“We didn’t. It’s only a $250 increase.”

Only?

That made you angry.

“Do you understand that to some people that’s a lot of money? It’s not easy for everyone to just find an extra $250 a month. I already overpay for my shoebox; I don’t see how I’m going to be able to give you an extra $250 this month at such a short notice or really… every month for that matter.”

Mark clicked his tongue as if thinking of some sort of solution for you until he simply shrugged, “then find a new place to live I guess?”

The tone of his voice didn’t come off as rude or with an attitude. More or less, he said it as if he was just thinking of an “easy” solution to your problem. It almost seemed like Mark had no perception of actual issues that people are often plagued with.

“Mark how the fuck am I supposed to find a new place to live by the end of the month?” He doesn’t flinch at your tone or language, but simply countered back, “okay then… so stay.”

You groaned in frustration. You couldn’t imagine how the other people in your building dealt with broken appliances or faulty plumbing if this was who they had to come talk to.

“Can’t you talk to him about it? Or at least give more of a notice?” You found yourself willing to even be okay with just an extension of the increase. Maybe you’d finally get a promotion or recognition at work, or maybe you could look into getting another job as an assistant.

“Sorry… My hands are tied,” Mark murmured, uncrossing his folded arms as if he thought the visual of seeing his hands would make the statement more believable.

“He’s your dad! He owns the whole goddamn building. What do you mean your hands are tied?” You jabbed.

His face shifted, and it almost seemed like he felt sorry for you, “that stuff isn’t really up to me… It’s up to him.”

You found yourself tapping your foot in irritation and as you found perhaps a new way to reason with him, “I mean you don’t really want to pay that much more a month, do you?” Mark just looks at you confused, once again, “I live here for free… I’m the property manager.”

“Okay yeah or do you live here for free because he’s your dad?”

He shook his head in protest, “No I definitely live here for free because I’m the property manager.”

“Listen let’s just talk about this more. Can I come in? I’m sure I can convince you that it doesn’t make sense to raise the-” Just as you were about to push yourself past him, he positioned himself forward to stop you.

“Is there some kind of problem?” You asked.

“I- You can’t come in,” he frowned.

“I just want to talk!” You explained, throwing your hands up in desperation. What was this guy not understanding? Wasn’t he supposed to be here to answer to the tenants needs and make sure things were running smoothly? Even if it meant you having a nice sit down in his apartment to chat about how you were going to murder him if he kept acting so clueless about the rent raise?

“We can talk out here.”

“Well I have a lot to say.”

“Oh, I know that,” Mark pressed, rolling his eyes a bit. He thinks back to when he found you drunk in the hallway crying. He panicked because he thought you had been hurt or something bad had happened, but you were just completely wasted. As he had hoisted you up off the ground and into his arms, carrying you – not completely willing – to your apartment, you had begun to talk his ear off.

Most of what you had blabbed on about was how miserable you were at your job and how much you just wanted to quit, but soon as he reached the second flight of stairs, he heard you change subjects. Instead, the topic of conversation became about him and his dating life.

“Do you have a girlfriend?” You had asked. Mark remained silent, using that as his answer, “because I never see you with one. Which is crazy since you have such a well-defined jawline.”

“Um thank you?” Was the only response he had found to be acceptable.

You continued, “If you were my boyfriend – but you’re not don’t worry – I would tell you how good your jaw was all the time. Aren’t I nice? Wouldn’t I make a nice girlfriend? I think so, but some people don’t think so…” You drifted off; the sadness evident in your voice.

Mark had found the conversation you were having – pretty much with yourself – funny and by the time you reached the front door of your place, he realized he didn’t want it to stop. You had begun to search your bag for your keys, which you would stop doing ever so often to begin talking about something else, getting distracted and ultimately forgetting about the task at hand.

By the time you had both made it inside, it felt like hours had passed and you wandered to the kitchen, Mark following behind closely, wanting to make sure you were okay. “Do you want something to eat? It’s around that time, huh? Like for a late-night snack?”

He shook his head at you, “Y/N, I think you should head to bed,” Mark was concerned to say the least for your body as you had told him somewhere between the first flight of stairs and the second that you had work in the morning. You had ignored him, “what kind of animal do you think you are in a relationship? For me I think I’m… a cat. No, no actually I’m more like a kitten, because I can be playful and energetic, but I still have that “leave me alone” energy, ya know? I bet you’re something cute like a puppy or I don’t know gopher?”

He hadn’t even argued with you about what being a gopher in a relationship meant or how it was a cute thing to be. Somehow, he had convinced you amidst your next rant that heading to bed was indeed a good idea. As soon as your body had hit the mattress, you were fast asleep and he managed to find a piece of paper to leave you a note for the next morning.

After that, Mark thought maybe the two of you would become friends. Which looking back at, Mark suddenly thought it was a lame thing to think. He didn’t have many friends or people he truly knew in the building as most tenants just saw him as an extension of the landlord – his father – and didn’t really treat him like an individual. More like a spoiled brat.

However, as months went by and you avoided his gaze in the hallway, he could tell that your drunk escapade had been forgotten altogether. Now looking at you frustrated, a raise in rent being the only reason for you to come and talk to him, he felt sick to his stomach, because he thought you were different somehow.

“It’ll only take a second I swear,” you muttered, and somewhere lost in his thoughts, Mark didn’t have a moment to react at your swiftness to push pass him into his apartment. “Wait stop, don’t!” He protested, turning around quickly to see you looking around his place.

You took it in and you were surprised. For some reason you had pictured it to be much bigger since he was the landlord’s son, but it was probably only a few square feet bigger than your own apartment. The next thing that left you bewildered was how clean and organized it was. Every apartment that you had been that belonged to a male, often looked ransacked as if a thief had been through. However, when you turned your head towards his living space, a simple couch and coffee table positioned in front of a TV, that was when you felt your eyes widen the most.

Up on the screen of the TV was a paused video of a woman on her kneeling in front of a man, mid blowjob. Okay so he wasn’t working out when I knocked on the door, you conclude. Seeing the image on the screen and Mark’s bright red, panicked face looking for the remote on the couch, surprisingly doesn’t make you feel disgusted or awkward. It makes you feel… intrigued?

“I- uh, fuck- I- I’m sorry. I don’t- I don’t know what to say,” Mark stuttered after he finally finds the remote and switched off the television.

“I’m guessing that’s why you didn’t want me to come in?”

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, clearly nervous, “yeah…”

You suddenly felt bad for barging into Mark’s place uninvited when he had clearly been in the middle of a personal moment, so you figured it would be best to make the situation as uncomfortable as possible. You wanted to show him that you didn’t care about what he had been doing before you knocked on the door, and there was no reason to feel weird about it. It was natural after all. So somehow you found yourself flopping down on the armchair perpendicular to the couch, making yourself comfortable, attempting to “lighten the mood.”

“Sorry,” you apologized, “but don’t worry, I don’t care. What you do on your own time is your own personal business, not mine.” Mark brought one of his hands to the back of his neck and massaged it as if the new found situation causes him enormous amounts of stress. Which he certainly believed it did.

You didn’t want to come across as rude or nosey, but for some reason that original impression of being intrigued finds its way back into your mind, “aren’t you supposed to be available 24/7? Shouldn’t you be prepared for something like this? I don’t know shouldn’t you always be expecting someone to knock on your door?”

For the first time since entering the apartment, Mark gave you attitude, “It’s not like I’m expecting them to barge their way into my place.”

“Still you should at least turn off your TV! Or I don’t know watch it on your laptop or phone? I honestly don’t know anyone who watches porn on their TV anymore,” your back and forth diffuses the situation somehow as Mark finally moved closer to where you’re sitting and he leaned against the side of the couch.

“Well why else would I use the TV?”

“I don’t know to watch literally anything else?” You yelled out to him. He moved around the couch to sit down, “that was a joke,” he explained.

You laughed and he joins you, grateful that this isn’t as terrible as he expected it to be. It’s when the laughing finally subsides that you feel your eyes drift down to the crotch of the grey sweats he’s wearing. You know it should be the last thing you’re thinking about in this moment, but as he shifts his weight on the couch to get comfortable, you swear you can just make out the outline of his cock. It causes you to squirm in your seat and you instinctively pressed your legs together not wanting to think about it.

After a moment, “Um… back to the rent… Like I said there’s really nothing I can do Y/N.”

As he brings the discussion back to the original topic at hand, he runs his hands through his hair once again, and it’s then you take notice of the veins that are clearly on display on his forearm. The sight of them makes you press your legs together even more, your mind soon drifting to how breathless Mark was when he first opened the door. You wonder how close he had been before you had interrupted him, how his hair had probably stuck to his forehead and how hard his hand must have been working to pump himself at the sight of the porn actress blowing the guy she was in the scene with.

What was Mark into? What kind of porn was it? How did the woman in the scene find herself in that position? So willing and compliant? Had she needed something from him? Like you needed something from Mark?

You feel yourself grow wet at the thought of what situation you and Mark would be in if this was porn. He would be your only option to getting what you want and being able to stay, so you’d put him in your mouth and let him fuck your face to convince him.

“Hello? Are you there?” Mark asked suddenly, waving his hand in front of your face from the couch.

Getting lost in your erotic haze, you feel as though you should think twice for what you’re about to do, but you feel so turned on by the idea and sitting here knowing what Mark had been doing right before you entered couldn’t make you stop yourself.

Mark watched you get off the chair you had been sitting on and slipping yourself in between the couch and coffee table. He looks at you with his head tilted to the sight and eyebrows furrowed, unsure of what you were doing. As you sink down to your knees in front of him, he feels his cock twitch in his sweats. He thinks he surely must be mistaken.

“W-What are you doing?” He asked, his breath hitched.

You looked at him innocently, placing your hands on his thighs, “what does it look like I’m doing? Let me convince you that you shouldn’t raise the rent.”

He feels like his heart has stopped beating and that maybe this is all a dream, an erotic fantasy and his mind is just drifting off. That he’s actually still fixated in front of the video he was watching earlier with his hand rubbing up and down his length.

Mark had to be honest with himself, he had never been a situation like this before and his mind was running a thousand miles a minute trying to figure out what the right way of going about this was. Not that there is a right way, he thought to himself.

He knows that he shouldn’t even be in this situation and that it’s his own damn fault for somehow not stopping you from entering his apartment, but he can’t help but look at you so willing for him and wonder what if?

Immediately he shook his head and decided to put a stop to this. He didn’t want this to take advantage of you.

“Y/N, I-I don’t think we should do this. I don’t want you to think that I’m using you or taking advantage of you because of-” you cut him off, sharp as a knife. “If you don’t think we should do this, then why are you hard?”

At your words, Mark finally acknowledges how hard he’s become at the sight of you being so obedient for him and he feels his cheeks grow red, “I-I-” he began to stammer, perplexed by the uncertainty he felt.

He wanted this, oh god how he wanted this, but he didn’t want you to feel like you had to do this.

As if you read his mind, you interrupted his daze, “Mark I’m doing this because I want this, trust me,” you found yourself rolling your eyes at him, “just let me play the role of desperate tenant who’s willing to do anything to stay, okay?”

Mark nodded wordlessly, and realizes all he can do is take your word for what it was and trust you. Allowing himself to do so, he felt freed from his thought filled head and finally be in the moment. The moment where all you wanted was to suck him off.

At this allowance, you drifted your hands up Mark’s thighs to the elastic waistband of his sweatpants to finally expose his hard cock. Your tongue darted out to lick your lips instinctively, feeling a pulse in your core at the sight. He positioned himself closer to the edge of the couch as you moved forward enough on your knees to breathe on the head of his cock, “fuck,” he hummed.

Licking your lips one last time, you parted them to suck lightly at the tip. Your tongue slipped out from your lips to lick around the head, moving in slow strides and glancing up to find Mark staring down at you. At his gaze, you felt yourself involuntarily whimper at how innocent he looked as if he couldn’t believe that this was happening which to a certain degree you couldn’t either.

Never had you imagined in all the times you passed by him in the building that you’d be in this position, your tongue dragging up and down his length slowly. Now, you would let him fuck your face however much and however hard he wants.

You take more than just the head into your mouth, coating his length with saliva and letting your lips glide against the sensitive skin. “So good,” you heard Mark softly murmur and the quiet praise made you want to take even more of him into your mouth.

It doesn’t go unnoticed to Mark at how you move a little faster or take more of his length in every time he words how good you are. He wonders what else you would want to hear. You continued your rhythm, bobbing your head up and down, forgetting about everything else. All that mattered to you was hearing Mark’s moans and his praise he hoarsely whispered. You were pulled out of your trance as Mark gripped a handful of hair to pull you off of him. You whined, but liked his sudden force.

He chuckled and you noticed how different his eyes now looked. Before, his hesitancy to the situation shined through them, but now they were glossy and much darker. It was almost as though Mark had been replaced while you had him in your mouth.

“Just look at you, so fucking eager. So ready to get down on your knees for me to get what you want… so greedy to have as much of me as you can. As much as it takes.”

This new Mark was certainly doing things for you.

“Mark fuck my face,” you practically groaned. For a moment you see a glimpse back to the Mark who had been looking down at you innocently just a little while ago, but soon you’re once again met with this new Mark who was so sure of himself and seemed like he enjoyed being in control.

He smirked, “what did I do to deserve such a good girl?”

Without hesitation, Mark stands up in front of you and shoves himself back into your mouth, slowly wanting you to feel him in every part of your mouth the same way you would feel him later.

“How bad do you want to stay?” He asked, pushing himself in further until all of him was in your mouth, feeling him at the back of your throat “I know you can take it all kitten.”

At the pet name, you moaned around him, not being able to hold it back. Your reaction caused him to begin thrusting himself into your mouth, his hand going to grasp the back of your head, setting a harsh pace and thrusting quickly, he groaned at the sound of you choking on him. As tears began to form in the corner of your eyes, Mark wondered if he should ease up and began to slow down. You noticed this and simply reached your hand up to rub his leg gently as a sign for him to continue.

He soon returned to his original pace and kept his eyes fixated on himself going in and out of your mouth. He felt himself grow closer and closer to release, especially when he thought about how compliant you were being for him, how you had been the one to initiate this and how if your mouth felt this good, your pussy would feel even better.

The thought brings him to cum in your mouth, and he becomes embarrassed at how sudden his climax was. Part of Mark thinks you’ll be mad, but part of him also thinks that maybe that’s what you wanted all along.

The latter thought proved to be correct as you took all of his release in your mouth with ease and swallow, showing him your tongue as proof of a job well done.

Mark’s heart skipped a beat.

You smiled at the bewildered look on Mark’s face and used the back of your hand to wipe the saliva and cum that had dripped onto your chin and lips during Mark’s brutal plunge into your mouth.

Mark felt overwhelmed with exhaustion as a result from his orgasm and collapsed onto the couch behind him, spreading his legs and shutting his eyes after pulling his sweats back on. At his actions, you stood up from your space on the floor in front of him and watched him for a moment.

Fuck, he really is beautiful, you found yourself thinking. How peaceful and pristine he looked post-climax made you want to take care of him and just run your fingers through his hair until he was fast asleep.

The sudden want caused you to feel like that maybe it was your cue to leave Mark’s apartment. However, just as you turned to go, you feel Mark grabbing your wrist from his spot on the couch. “Hold on just give me a minute,” he mumbled with his eyes still closed.

You scanned your eyes back and forth around the room, and noticed the “best uncle ever!” drawing sitting against one of the bookshelves in the corner. You took this as your second sign to leave this man’s apartment.

“Fine if you can’t wait one minute while I put myself together, just have at it I guess,” Mark stammered, gesturing to his lap as he felt your attempt to leave once again.

His eyes are still closed, therefore you’re not sure if he’s even aware of his words and movements, “uh… what?” In that moment, Mark shot his eyes open quickly, “My thigh. Ride it,” he said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Being honest with yourself, you hadn’t expected this little rendezvous or whatever it was with Mark to include more than him fucking your face. When you had seen the length and size of him through his sweatpants along with what he had been watching before you angrily knocked on his door, all you could think about was getting him in your mouth. You hadn’t considered your own needs for even a second. The sudden realization of this made you think you were going insane.

Mark pats his lap and set you into a blur of removing your pants, hesitantly setting yourself down on his thigh. It’s almost as though he could sense your uncertainty and he positioned you down onto him, grasping your hips to move them back and forth slowly. He does this for a moment and you let out a groan at the friction you feel against your core. “Can I kiss you?” Mark asked you with his head leaning against the back of the couch, hands still grasped on your sides.

Your practically snorted at his request, “asks the guy who’s already had me swallow his cum.” He brings his head up instantly as if shocked and ready to defend himself to you, “I’m sorry okay!? I couldn’t help myself,” he paused and quietly, “you were too good.”

You feel yourself smile at his praise once again and you nodded your head, “of course you can kiss me Mark.”

“Okay I just had to make sure!”

“You know I’m not a prostitute, right?”

“I-I know! That’s not what I meant! I meant-” You cut him off laughing, stopping your movement on him completely to collect yourself, “Mark I’m fucking with you. Don’t worry.”

“That’s not very nice,” Mark huffed.

You placed your hands at the back of his neck and pull him closer to you, “now kiss me you idiot.” You could have sworn you heard him mutter something like “that’s still not very nice,” but as soon as his lips reached yours for the first time of the night all other thoughts left your head. The contact was enough to leave you lightheaded, and with every lick and bite of your lips you felt yourself instinctively begin to move your hips again.

Mark’s kisses trailed from your lips to you jaw to your neck, and his soft sucking, along with the feeling of your clit rubbing against him through your panties caused you to forcefully grip onto Mark’s broad shoulders. The feeling overcoming you from the way grinding on just Mark’s thigh felt and the way he was sucking that spot on your neck, caused you to what nothing more than to reach your high fast and hard. You wanted to completely fall apart from riding this gorgeous man’s thigh and let him know how good it felt.

Mark unattached himself from your skin and simply laid his head and arms back down on the couch as he had done when he was exhausted. He became so transfixed in your grinding on him and all he wanted to do in the moment was enjoy the show.

Arms still on his shoulders, “Mark,” you moaned, suddenly wishing you had even less than just your panties between and his sweats between the two of you.

“Show me how much you want it. Show me how much you want to stay so you can ride my thigh every single day,” at his words, Mark tensed his thigh and your eyes immediately shoot open at the new feeling that overwhelms you further. Mark is already hard again at the sight of you getting yourself off by using him and he realizes that he would be okay with you using him as much as you want, whenever you want.

Mark’s hands wander forward from the couch and begin to trail themselves up and down your body, playing with your breasts through your shirt and palming them softly. It’s when he reaches around to the back of your panties and pulls them tighter against you body that you feel the high you had been chasing begin to hit you. The material riding up, gives your clit the final bit of friction you need to send you spiraling into an orgasm.

You let out a final “Fuck!” as exclamation as your fingernails dig into Mark’s shoulders, your head falling backwards and causing your breath to catch in your throat. Mark’s hands returned to your hips, grinding you down onto him to make you ride out the aftershocks that course through you.

“Fuck,” you heard Mark say as you fell forward into his arms, “that was so fucking hot.”

He rubbed your back soothingly and you smiled into his shoulder at his response to you just having an orgasm from his thigh. “Hotter than the porno you were watching?”

He playfully hits your back, “Way hotter, trust me.”

When you finally regain strength, you lifted yourself off of Mark’s chest and looked down to notice the dark patch on his grey sweats where you had been pressing yourself against him. You looked away from him, face growing hot from embarrassment. Mark tilted your chin towards him, “aw did my kitten leave behind a mess?” he asked you cooing in a soft voice.

Despite reaching orgasm only moments ago, you feel the space between your legs begin to drip with arousal once again and judging on Mark’s demeanor, he can sense it.

He pressed himself further against you until you can feel his hardness against the side of your own thigh, “does she want more?” Once again in a Mark Tuan induced trance, you nod your head mindlessly.

In a haze of motions and movement, Mark pulled you off of his lap to remove his sweats, his cock springing free and looking painfully hard and ready to be inside of you. You lick your lips at the thought and it’s not until Mark pats his lap for you to get back on that you realize he wants you to ride him.

Any other situation you would jump at the opportunity, loving the control, but you whined at him still feeling a bit spent from working yourself against him before, “can we do more of a ‘you put most of the work in’ kind of position?”

He puts his hands up jokingly as if surrendering, “okay, okay, okay.”

You lay down with your back against the couch, removing your shirt and bra as Mark goes to the bathroom to retrieve a condom, but to your dismay he comes back holding an empty box, flipping it upside down to show you the issue.

“Wow are you that busy?” You asked Mark, then suddenly it occurs to you that maybe you should have asked if he as a girlfriend. Mark didn’t really seem to be the kind of guy that would do that to someone.

He shakes his head, “no, it’s just… It’s been a long time okay? And there used to be more than half a box left, but I’m pretty sure all of my friends have secretly been taking them when they’re here, because how else could they disappear if I haven’t had sex with anyone in forever?”

It’s clear that Mark’s worked up by the situation and isn’t sure what to do, so you try your best to calm him down, giggling at his demeanor, “Mark it’s fine. I have an IUD, don’t worry.”

“What?” He asked.

You rolled your eyes at him, what was up with this kid? “An IUD… an Intrauterine d-”

“I know what an IUD is! I just meant… you still want to have sex with me even though I’m dumb and all my friends apparently take my condoms?”

You swear your heart swells at innocent Mark appearing in front of you once again and you laugh again, “well I have to show you how much I want to stay, right?” You wiggled your hips at him from down on the couch and sighed contently, “plus I just really need you inside of me or else I feel like I’m going to explode.”

Mark laughed at you and throws the empty condom box to the side of the couch, which he climbs back on positioning himself in between your legs, “yes ma’am.”

He gently ran his index finger up and down, over your clothed entrance, the feeling causing you to shiver. Mark smirked at your reaction and pushes underneath your underwear until he rubs his finger directly over your slit, letting it collect your wetness. When he removes it, you whimper at the feeling and he places his digit into his mouth to taste you.

He let out a lustful sound at your taste, “my kitten tastes just like candy. I could spend all day with my head in between your legs and I will, but I need to be inside you. Now.” At his emphasis on wanting to sink into you, Mark for some reason decided that it would make more sense to use his hands to rip apart your underwear to grant him entrance rather than simply taking them off of you. You made a mental note to give him shit for it later. $250 and new underwear? No thanks.

Delicately, Mark lifts both of your legs up until they’re situated on each of his shoulders. You feel yourself exposed to him in a new way, his cock brushing against you slit, making you feel the need to beg for him to enter you. At his pause, you tried to slide yourself down towards him impatiently, but he holds in you in place, “I thought you were tired?” Mark smirked right before he enters you slightly. Only part of him is in, but you groaned at the stretch.

“Fuck kitten, are you even going to be able to take me?” Mark wondered out loud.

He continued to push into you, and your body adjusted itself to get used to the way he was stretching you and the way he was filling you so deliciously. You barely ever went without a condom despite your IUD, but with a lack of barrier separating you and Mark and the sensation it brought, you found yourself wanting him to enter you like this as many times as he wanted.

He pushed himself forward until he bottoms out, fully inside of you and groaned. He starts off slow and you whimpered, just wanting to feel him pound into you already. You think you’re going to cry at how you can feel him practically everywhere and in every single part of your body, when he has barely even moved. Mark feels himself go dizzy at how tight you are around him. It’s bordering on painful, the squeeze of your walls around his cock, but he doesn’t really care as he listens to the sounds leaving your mouth asking him to move faster.

Mark’s pace picked up and as he thrusts into you at a faster and faster rate, your lifted legs move with him and your knees practically begin to hit your chest every time he pulls back to delve into you again. With the angle his plummeting into you at, it’s not long before he hits your sweet spot and as you shutting your eyes tightly, unable to focus on anything except how good it feels. It’s when Mark’s hands leave your hips and wander to your breasts, cupping them, swirling your nipples in between his thumb and index finger that you feel yourself clench dangerously hard around Mark. He moaned, feeling like he could cum again at any minute, but he held himself off wanting to make sure he had taken care of you first.

“Are you sure you don’t just want me?” Mark asked in his gruff, low voice, his probing into you giving no sign of stopping, “Are you sure you just didn’t want to feel me inside you this whole time? You don’t care about staying or going, you just wanted to feel yourself wrapped around me. Be honest.” At his words you let out more lustful sounds, unable to form any real response due to how fucked out you felt. Mark, however, wouldn’t take your silence at an answer as he thrusts in even harder, “Be. Honest.”

It’s then when he pushes you over the edge, and you feel your second orgasm of the night course through you. “Mark… F-fuck Mark, oh god I- fuck,” you pant at the same time your walls squeezed around Mark one final time, your lower body arching off of the couch. For Mark, that’s all it takes for him to reach the peak of his own orgasm, the sight of you falling apart in front of him. You feel him release himself inside of you, feeling him make you so full with his warm cum coating your walls.

As you caught your breath from your own climax, you watch Mark come down from his, making note of the final noise he lets out before he almost collapses himself on top of you. He pulls himself out of you and lowers your legs from his shoulder, a soreness that wasn’t present during the fucking starting to make itself known in your body.

You feel more exhausted than you had after your first orgasm and you don’t even realize you closed your eyes until you feel Mark nudging your shoulder gently with his hand, “huh?” you mumbled, half-aware.

“I’m going to clean you up, is that okay?” Mark asked tentatively.

For probably the hundredth time of the night you wanted to laugh at the boy. He had already fucked you, but he still felt the need to ask if it was okay to do things like clean you up.

Okay he was cute.

Nodding at him, you feel Mark wiping up the mess he made inside of you that was beginning to seep out. When he’s finished, he lifts your legs and sits down on the couch beside your laying body, dropping your legs over his lap. He caresses them.

There’s a peaceful moment between the two of you and it’s nice, it soothes you and you feel yourself drifting off once again, but Mark interrupts your fall into slumber, “you know I probably could talk to my dad about everything.” At this point you didn’t care about the money anymore, and you hoped Mark truly knew that the rent wasn’t the reason why you fucked him.

Using your legs, you playfully kick Mark, “I really don’t care about that anymore. This was worth way more than $250.”

He chuckled, “Like how much? $500?”

You hummed in thought, “I honestly couldn’t even put a price on it if you held a gun to my head.”

“Dark… but I get it.”

There’s another moment of silence and you take this as your chance to fall asleep, but suddenly you feel yourself being lifted off of the couch and into Mark’s arms, “where are you taking me?”

“My room, so you don’t have to fall asleep on an uncomfortable and overpriced couch.”

Your eyes shoot open, “so you think it’s overpriced too!” He shakes head at you playfully in protest and lays you down on his bed when he enters his room. You can’t help but inhale the scent around you. It smells like him.

He sits down beside you and places a kiss on your forehead, “I’m still going to talk to my dad regardless. It’s kind of ridiculous.” A smile slowly starts to creep up on your face just as you agree with him, “Okay, okay. Fine!”

“Now get some rest.” You felt the weight shift up on the bed, signaling Mark’s departure, but instantly with your eyes still closed, you reached out to grab his wrist, “wake me up in twenty minutes for another round, okay?”

He clicked his tongue at you, “It’s going to cost you.” You opened your eyes and smiled up at him, thumb gently stroking his wrist.

“I’m not worried, you’re priceless after all.”

#got7 fanfic #got7 smut #mark tuan fanfic #mark tuan smut #mark tuan

348 notes · View notes

padfootmadfoot · 4 years ago

Text

Teddy Lupin - Thinking Out Loud

Thinking Out Loud By Ed Sheeran (Year 2014)

Ps- Didn’t know the years would coordinate perfectly, I love it!

Word Count-3.1K

Send Requests Here

Teddy sat in McGonagall's classroom for the third time today, first cleaning up the glass he shattered well running away from Agrus Flitch, and having to report to Mcgonagall since it was at her hands dealing with him, the second was bringing McGonagall a apple for a sincere apology and the third was learning about Transfiguration his favorite class

But his ears or eyes were concentrated on what McGonagall had been teaching that day but a long brunette haired girl who sat across the room from Teddy, writing her notes down and concinderating on the lesson.

Teddy felt his best mate Louis Weasley, nudge his shoulder, causing him to lose concentration of the girl and look over at McGonagall who had her hands on her hips.

“Mr Lupin, care to show the class how to turn that teacup infront of you into a rat,” McGonagall stammered, shaking her head at the boy who was not near the level of concentration he should be at in his sixth year at hogwarts.

Teddy picked up his wand, thinking to himself for a second, gosh he was a metamorphmagus, he should know this stuff. His flicked his wrist, pressing his wand against the teacup, nothing happened for a couple seconds then teacup drew a tail, then a face, soon after turning into a full rat.

“Perfect see, look at him, i’ll call him Flameboy,” Teddy joked touching his wand against the rat that looked around, slowly turning him back into a teacup.

McGonagall went back to teaching, when Teddy went to look back at the brunette girl he noticed that she had been looking at him, causing the pair to blush out of control.

Mila Abbot, a shy girl was nearly a outcast to the school, a Ravenclaw, her best friend Victoire Weasley was her only friend, and summer came by with a quick jolt, ending their sixth year at hogwarts.

“Your saying your parents are gone for the whole summer, and you’ll be home alone, no one home, and celebrating your birthday alone!” Victoire complained as her and Mila walked down the halls with bags in hand, ready to board the Hogwarts Express home.

“Thats what i’m saying Vic, all alone,” Mila smiled, knowing where the conversation was heading, Victorie and her became friends shortly after coming to hogwarts. Her a Gryffindor and Mila a Ravenclaw didn’t matter.

“Then why don’t you come over, my whole family is celebrating my uncle Harry's promotion, and I don’t think your parents would mind,” Victorie said swinging her arm around Mila back. “And Teddy will be there, don’t you fancy him now,”

Mila’s face turned a bright red, not helping herself to smile. “I don’t fancy him, it’s merely a little crush and I guess, if your parents are okay with it,” Her face calmed a bit, feeling her blood blushing inside of her.

“That’s great, my parents will never mind they love you like a daughter, and plus Teddy won’t either, I hear he fancies you as well,” Victie chuckled making Milas face return back to her red state. “Plus Plus, i’ve got us tickets to the Quidditch Championships on my dresser at home mom says,”

Milas eyes widened with every word that came out of Victorie mouth. “No you don’t are you serious!” Her voice was excited. “I love you Vic!” If her bags weren’t hanging out of her hand and the grass wasn’t wet from the fog she’d have her hands wrapped around her best friend.

Victorie and Mila borned the train, filled with first years trying to excitedly find a seat, seventh years pushing and shoving, boys and girls snogging left and right.

“Come on, you can sit with us,” Victories took Milas hand, pulling her around everyone and placing her in a cart, Dominique, Vics sister and Louis, her brother sat chatting, then a blue haired boy sat beside Louis, laughing.

“Look at trouble roaming in,” Dominique smiled, pushing herself over to fit Victorie and Mila down. “You both excited for summer break?” She asked, Dominique was the oldest of the children, then Vic then Louis, all a year apart.

“Actually, Milas family is gone and i’ve invited her to stay with us for a couple weeks, isn’t that great,” Vic smiled wrapped her arms around Mila, pressing their cheeks together, once again making Milas face turn red with embarrassment.

“Teddys coming over tonight too, since Harry's coming over with his kids and Teddy lives with them, Mila i’m glad your coming over, i’ll write to mom and let her know,” Dominique had been a older sister to Mila, maker her as close as family.

Teddy and Louis were having their own conversation, whispering to each other, with the occasional laughs and snickered from the two.

“Anything from the trolley dear?” A little plumped woman asked, stopping at the cart door with a smile.

Louis and Teddy stood up, walking passed the woman, leaving on Dominique, Victoire and Mila. Victoire moved to the other side, grabbing a couple of pasties from the cart.

“What are those twos problem?” Victorie asked placing her feet on the seat and munching down on her pastie, passing one to her sister and Mila.

“They’ve been like that all day, Teddy was a real trouble maker, sliding out of detention, i’m sure the sorting hat made a wrong decision with him, been acting out recently according to Louis.

“Yeah in class he couldn’t focus, you guys wanna know why,” Victoire stammer with a mouth full of dough. “Because he was two busy looking at Mila.

Milas thoughts were blown up as her head shot towards Victorie, shaking her head. “He was not!” Mila defended herself, knowing what she was saying was the truth and she was to, looking at Teddy in Transfiguration class.

“We both know you two fancy each other, since year four, why don’t you guys just admit it, you both are gonna be at the same house tonight anyways,” Dominique chimed in, ebowing Mila playfully.

“Hello Ladies, we’ve brought some snacks,” Louis shouted walking into the cart with Teddy, both carrying food in each hand.

“I’m not moving to comfortable,” Victoire said, only moving her legs for one, Louis knowing full well the connection between Teddy and Mila.

“I guess i’ll sit here,” Teddy awkwardly smiled, Mila pushed over for the boy, moving almost on top of Dominique to give Teddy room, her face a bright pink color, her whole body felt flustered and warm all over.

The train ride home was filled with lots off food, Mila and Louis fought over who could catch more marshmallows in their mouths, Mila winning by a lucky shot, Teddy turning his hair different colors with the flavor of Bertie Botts he ate. Victorie fell asleep soon after the train took off and Dominique sent out the letter for her parents about Mila.

London grew dark as the five arrived at platform nine and three quarters, Louis face was pressed up against the window, looking for his parents.

“Look look, I see mom and Dad, and I see uncle Harry, come on!” Louis was a excited boy when he came to seeing his parents, being just like his father, his orange hair was a mess at most times.

Louis left the cart with Teddy behind him, Dominique walking out and leaving Victoire and Mila to walk alone.

“Are you sure your mom let me stay, what if she says no and i’ll have to sleep on the streets cause my home is to far away,” Mila said nervously, rubbing her fingers together as the pair walked through the train, coming to the door.

“Guess i’ll just have to sleep on the streets with you,” Victoire joked jumping off the train, followed by Mila. “My mom and dad love you, and you’ve stayed at my house more times then I could remember,”

Victoire and Mila came into the sights of Fleur first, who took the pair of girls into a hug. “it’s so good to see you both, i’ve already got your bedrooms all set up, we’re going to grimmauld tonight so i’ve hope you’ve brought something nice to wear Mila,” Fleur let the pair go, she was a mom to Mila, since her parents were never around, traveling for a job she’d stay wherever she could, mostly at the Weasleys.

“Ahh girls,” Bill smiled, walking over with Dominique, Louis, Teddy and Harry Potter beside him. “Come on, we’ve got to be going home, we’ll see you tonight then Harry,” Bill smiled placing his hand on Harry's shoulder.

“You will indeed, thanks to Ginny who insisted on having everyone over, it’s nice to see you two girls,” Harry smiled looking at Mila and Victorie. “Come on Teddy, Ginny’s waiting for our arrival, she’s made your favorite,” Harry and Teddy walked off.

But all on Teddys mine on the moment was the conversation Louis and him had, how he was going to ask Mila out tonight, he had to make it perfect, Louis was in charge of getting the pair alone, getting his siblings along with it. His head was filled with ideas, some tossed right away and others sounded to ridiculous and more like pranks he could pull at school.

“Come on girls, your fathers leaving,” Fluer called out, taking Mila out of her thoughts, she followed the Weasleys out of platform nine and three quarters and to the magical car that was parked outside.

Louis sat in the front seat with Bill and Fluer, well Dominique, Mila and Victorie all squished into the back, magainging themselves, their bags all sat in the trunk that's to Bill.

“So Mila, where are you parents gone now?” Bill asked pressing the invisible cloak around the car and taking off into the sky.

“Scotland, site seeing I think, their job took them their, I just don’t ask cause the answers aren’t always spectacular,” Mila smiled, knowing her parents weren’t coming back for her just yet and that she had to learn to live by herself next summer.

“Well you know your always happy to say with us love, we’re home,” Fleur smiled looking out her window, we quickly came down to a little driveway, a cottage.

“I never get over the fact that your house is perfect,” I chuckled bracing myself for the landing, since Bill wasn’t always the best as landing the car.

“Why don’t you guys go settle yourself in your rooms, when your done we can leave for the Potters, that sound good?” Bill commanded as the car hit the ground, landing in the driveway, surrounded by sand.

“Come on then Mila, i’ve got new things to show you,” Victorie excitedly said opening her car door and grabbing Milas hand, they walked to the trunk, only pulling out their trunks only and rushing inside.

“What do you have to show me,” Mila chuckled as the two girls ran downstairs into Victories room and shutting the door.

“Dresses for tonight, and a early early birthday gift for you,” Victorie dropped her things, walking over to her closet and opening it up. “It used to be Lily and Marlene's but my aunt gave them to me when cleaning out the house,” The girls admired Lily and Marlene, how the two were best friends, almost reminding them of themselves.

Victore turned around holding two dresses in her hand, two short cut ones, one a bright red color in her left, in her right a bright white.

“Lily and Marlene wore those,” Mila said with a smile walking over to Victorie and pulling her into a hug. “Thank you Vic, i’m sure we’re going to look wonderful tonight,”

Victoire knew of Louis and Teddys plan, overhearing the two boys talking before Harry and Teddy left, determined to make Mila the best girlfriend ever.

“Go try on the red one, it’ll match your eyes, i’ll change in my room, you can take the bathroom,” Victoire pressed the red one against Milas chest and walking away.

“You know my birthdays not tell December right,” Mila chuckled as she walked into the bathroom, keeping the door open just a bit to continue their conversation.

“That's why it’s called a early early birthday gift, you’ll thank me when in six months for it,” Victoire chuckled slipping her clothes off quickly and slipping the dress on from the bottom.

“Thank you Vic, for being a good friend, can I tell you something,” Mila smiled walking out of the bathroom, her school clothes dripped over her arm and her red dress on, just stopping bellow her knees. “I do fancy Teddy, but you can’t tell anyone okay,”

Victories face lit up, wanting to tell her best friend of the plan, but not wanting to spoil the fun she was going to have tonight. “The first step is admitting it, we all know you do, all you do is look at him, I even swore you were drawing hearts with his name in them,” Milas face went red.

“That is not true, I don’t know what your talking about,” Mila gushed placing her clothes on top of her trunk.

“Girls we’re leaving with or without you!” Fluer called out, her english getting better and better by the days going on, moving from France to London and staying here for years really helped.

“Come on, i’m excited to see everyone!” Victore called out, grabbing Milas hand and dragging her upstairs. “Wait wait,” Victorie stopped at the top of the stairs, running quickly back down to her room and coming up with two hair ties in her hand.

“Smart thinking,” Mila smiled, they continued walking to the fireplace, only Bill left waiting for the pair.

“See you two there,” The scared faced man smiled at the two, taking pounder into his hands. “Grimmauld place!” He shouted tossing the sand down, green fire came up and Bill was gone.

“Together?” The girls said at the same time, simultaneously laughing, squeezing themselves into the tiny fireplace.

Mila grabbed the pouder, looking at Victoire, since forever the pair did everything together, this was their favorite thing, starting at Molly Weasley's and now here.

“Grimmauld Place!” Victoire shouted, Mila tossed the powder down and the girls disappeared, appearing in a almost dark room, a blue haired boy sitting at a table.

“Thank you for coming to the party, the living room is filled with people,” His voice was bland and clearly bored.

“Where is the energetic funny Teddy we saw only a hour ago,” Victoire chuckled stepping out of the fireplace first, followed by Mila, Teddy's eyes nearly almost couldn’t keep his eyes off her.

“I have to greet the guests, but I guess since your the last ones here energetic Teddy can come back,” Teddy's hair turned into a brownish color and stood up. “Shall we?” He asked opening the door, Victorie gave the boy a wink before walking through the door, shutting it quickly behind her, leaving Mila facing the door and with Teddys.

“She's a funny one,” Mila smiled awkwardly, pushing the door open and walking into a party scene, spotting Hermione, her godmother sitting down, she quickly walked over with a smile.

“Mila daring, how are you doing?” Hermione asked patting a seat beside her for Mila to sit down with her.

“I’m good, about to graduate in a year, how are you doing?” Mila asked, looking around and spotting Rose and Hugo running around the room with James, Albus and Lily.

“Very good, Rose turned eleven in august and Hugo nine in september,” Hermione chuckled placing her hand on her forehead. “Gosh I feel so old sometimes, I can’t believe you’ll be graduating, do you know what you’ll be doing after hogwarts?”

Mila was honest with herself, she wasn’t sure what to do, she wanted to open a little clothing shop in diagon alley, it was her dream, but she didn’t think she’d be worthy enough.

“I wanna open a little shop for myself, my parents left me some money and I think that’s what i’ll use to get started,” Mila let out a sigh, expecting disappointment.

“I know two boys who did the same thing, i’m sure George could help you, if you talk to him about it,” Hermione started to say but her eyes drifted off. “Oh gosh Hugo, don’t touch that,” Hermione shouted, standing up and walking away from Mila.

“Mila, i’ve got to show you something, Harry told me about it,” Louis whispered in her ear making her jump, she looked at Louis confused, a bit smile was on his face.

“Later Lou, I just wanna relax, I have a lot on my mind,” Mila huffed, leaning back into the couch but the boy was resistant, grabbing her hand and pulling her up.

“It’s the first room on the left, we’ll all be up their waiting for you,” Louis took off causing Mila to be more confused then she was this morning when Victorie jumped on her back causing her to fall to the ground.

MIla took a look around the room, everyone seemed to be chatting away, so Mila pushed herself off the couch, took one more look around the room then walked out, the placed smelt nice, like fernwood and ivry water on a warm day.

The stairs crept with every step Mila took, until she got to the top, looking left then right, tempted to open the right door but choice the left, walking into a bright room.

“What are you doing in here?” Mila jumped at the noice, then looked at Teddy who stood up from one of the beds he was sitting on.

“Louis told me to come up here, said everyone was up here but,” Mila was cut off with the door slamming behind her and the sound of it locking, she turned around, placing her hand on the doorknob, her head fell on the door knowing what her friends had done, her face going bright red.

“Mila,” Teddy stuttered, causing Mila to turn back around, and look at Teddy who had flowers in his hand, and a smile on her face.

“What are you doing Teddy,” Mila chuckled walking towards the boy, he handed her the flowers.

“A early birthday present,” Teddy smiled, getting the line from Victorie when they first got into the party.

“Victoire told you that didn’t see,” Mila smiled looking around the room. “She told you I fancies you I suppose?” She knew her best friend so well that she knew even if Teddy denied it.

“She also told you that I fancy you I supposed?” Teddy took the flowers out of MIlas hand, gently placing them down on the bed. “I like your dress, and your hair,” He stumbled his words, getting nervous. “I actually like everything about you, I think you're really pretty, and,” Teddy was cut off by Mila stepping up and planting her lips on Teddy.

His hands soon gravitated to her back, pulling her forward, their bodies touching, Milas hand were wrapped around Teddys shoulder, she couldn’t help but smile with every kiss.

“You two are so adorable!” Victoire squealed from the door, the pair turned around and looked at Victorie, Dominique and Louis smiling, with James Potter and Albus Severus hanging out behind them

“Disgusting, i’m going to tell dad!” James chuckled, grabbing Albus and dragging him down the stairs.

“Told you it would work,” Louis winked at Teddy, making him nervous laugh, Mila faced Teddy, resting her head on his chest and smiling, her whole body felt flustered, and so happy.

#TeddyLupin #teddy lupin x reader #Teddy Lupin x you #Teddy Lupin x y/n #HarryPotterFanfic #Mila Abbot

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unstoppableforcce · 4 years ago

Text

“you love me, right?”

pairing: Javier Peña x reader

for 1k celebration ! for @tiffdawg !! thank you so much!! I had to do javi, I had to aim to make it sweet bc i made dark side so angsty lol

a/n: honestly, I don’t know when called id became a thing and I didn’t put that much research into this but bear with me

Javier couldn’t remember the last time he threw his keys into the bowl by the door and didn’t feel like it had been the world’s longest day.

Since the first day he got to Colombia, every day had been worse than the one that came before. Especially since you left.

Especially since he was the one who told you to go.

Colombia was just as bad for you as it was for him, taking down Escobar took its toll.

The first day he met you, fresh off the plane in the Bogota airport, he found your smile naive and childish. He had been in this war for six months at that point when you came in fresh faced and ready to try your hand at it.

But you had grown on him everyday since then.

Your optimism was the only light in the whole embassy, stakeouts were tolerable, nights out were distracting... you were a good constant to have.

A really good constant to have...

“Do you want another?”

Ten months in with you at his side and this was the first time he had seen your smile fall, and that night was meant to be a celebration. Yet, you sat back in your normal booth, head somewhere else until he nudged your arm with his elbow.

He repeated quickly as you turned back to him, “do you want another?”

“No, I uh, I think I’m okay.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I uh- I think I just need to head home...”

He quirked his head, angled in your direction.

It wasn’t necessarily early. Half the bar had already gone home but this was the kind of position the two of you often found yourselves in.

Alone together. Drinking your sorrows away in a busy Colombian bar until the early hours of the morning, or at least until either of you found someone to go home with.

So what was on your mind?

He was dancing around his words, he never did that with you. “Yeah, sure... do you want me to drive—“

“Yes.”

Your answer was quick.

And when the two of you got back to the building and he invited you in for one last drink, knowing there was something still on your mind, your answer was equally as speedy—

“Yes.”

But he knew something was wrong. You were too quiet, you were too sad for the occasion...

It just wasn’t his place to say anything. He grabbed a beer from the fridge for each of you, sat down next to you on the couch and just waited.

Waiting for an explanation he would have never expected...

“The ambassador recommended me for a job in Mexico...” your eyes refused to meet his, staring at the bottle in your hand. “I didn’t think it would go anywhere, you know...”

He knew that tone. He knew it better than most because he knew you better than most.

Bringing his bottle to his lips, he let you continue.

“It’s to head a task force... I didn’t think I’d get it, but I got the call earlier.”

“Heading a task force in Mexico?” He hummed, picking at the label. “Wow—“

“I haven’t accepted it yet—“

“You should.”

Your eyes snapped to his, or at least, where you expected his to be but his stare stayed trained on the bottle in his lap. “Really?”

“It’s a promotion, you deserve it.”

He couldn’t tell you that he didn’t want you to leave. He couldn’t tell you that you were more than just his partner in his mind, that he felt something more for you, that he didn’t want you to leave...

But when you asked again, “yeah?”

He lied.

He lifted his eyes from the label, connected his stare with yours and lied. It was the first time he ever lied to you.

He didn’t lie about informants, not about work or women. He didn’t lie when things looked bad; when he pressed his hands to your bullet wound and feared you passing out on him, he didn’t lie. He didn’t lie when things looked good; when he wrapped his arms around your waist in a happy hug to celebrate a win and you asked if he felt as good as you did, he didn’t lie.

But now, he looked you right in the eyes, kept his heart under lock and key, and lied.

“I think you should go.”

And every day since then, he had regretted it.

Hours spent at his desk without you? Unbearable. Nights spent with women who would never be you? Insatiable.

He never got to hold you the way he wanted to, he never got to know you the way he wanted to.

He made his way to the kitchen, pushing aside boxes of leftovers for the last bottle of beer. He needed to go grocery shopping, he needed to cook a meal every once in a while...

You used to remind him of that.

“I’m a grown man, I can buy my own groceries” he would mock you as he left his apartment, running into you coming in with bags in each arm.

You still tossed him a loaf of bread and bunch of bananas, “yeah, and one day, you’ll prove it to me.”

He figured if he really wanted to calm himself a grown man he would have to tell you how he felt. Grown men buy their own groceries, and they tell their partners how they feel before they move countries...

He owed you the truth.

It had been two months and every night when he got home, he grabbed the slip of paper you left for him with your new number and stared at it as he drank.

He owed you a phone call.

He just didn’t think you’d answer.

“Javi?”

He almost laughed at himself when he heard you pick on the other end, crumpling the slip of paper slightly.

“You knew it was me?” He taunted casually, trying to find his footing with you again.

It used to be so easy, why was his voice trembling at the mere thought you miles and miles away.

“Colombia area code...”

“Right, yeah.” He sighed, not sure if it was just hearing your voice but he felt lighter, much lighter. “Sorry it’s so late.”

“No, I’m glad you called, I miss you.”

I miss you. I miss you. I miss you— it wasn’t missed. You said you miss him, not you missed him. He didn’t know what that meant but it felt like it meant something...

“You know you’re on the phone with me, right, Sweetheart?” He missed you, he missed this fun with you, he missed all of you.

“Yes, Javi, I do.”

Did you feel the same? Is that why you told him you were leaving first, before everyone else in the office? Did you want him to talk you out of it? Did he want to talk you out of it?

He should’ve told you how he felt, now he was just silently holding you on the long distance call.

“How’s everything going down there?” You hummed out in place of his silence, clearly cooking your own dinner on the other end with the sounds of pans and utensils.

You used to invite him over, tell him you didn’t know how to cook for just one. Was that just an excuse to eat with him the same way he used to invite you over to drink, saying it was dangerous to drink alone?

“Things are fine, same as when you were here.” Just without you, so worse. “How are things up north?”

“Busy, I didn’t think anything could be busier than Colombia but it’s good work,” You continued to work in the background, talking over the sizzling of your pan. “You ever think about taking a trip? Im back and forth over the border pretty often, close to home for you.”

“As soon as things slow down here...”

You both laughed at that, the chuckle shuddering through his chest as he continued to drink his dinner.

He missed you. He wanted what was best for you, and deep down, he knew this promotion was nothing to scoff at, he wanted it for you. He just also wanted you.

He should have told you. That night. When you told him about the job, he should have told you what he felt.

He had to tell you know.

“There’s something I have to tell you...” he hated those words, he only got them out now because he knew they were better than the three little words that came next. He wasn’t sure he ever got them out before and meant it like he did now.

Not in Laredo. Not in Colombia.

“Mmhm?” You hummed, sucking on a spoon by the sounds of it.

He wanted to be there, or maybe he wanted you here. He just wanted to be with you, the country didn’t even matter.

“I meant to tell you the night you told me about the promotion but...” they were right there on his tongue, he wanted to say them but he couldn’t.

He stole another drink, taking in a deep breath and—

Your stove clicked off, “you love me, right?”

You knew. Of course you did. Promotions weren’t handed to bad detectives...

“I uh—“ he rubbed over his mustache with the back of his hand, feeling his cheeks heat up and you weren’t even there to pinch at them and call him cute like you did when you had too much to drink. “You knew?”

“I think I was hoping you would tell me, you know, that’s why I told you before anyone else, so you’d convince me to stay...” you mused, tapping something against a metal bowl, maybe opening up the oven from the sounds of it. “But thinking about it now, I think I’m glad you didn’t”

“I didn’t want to stop you from going... I meant what I said, you deserve the promotion.” He sighed, letting his head fall back against the fridge. “That wasn’t the right time.”

“But over the phone?” You chuckled, silencing the beeping of something in your kitchen. “That’s not why I’m glad you didn’t.”

“You wouldn’t have stayed?”

“That’s not what I mean...”

He took the final sip from the bottle and set it back on the counter in front of him, waiting for you to continue.

“Maybe I stay, maybe I don’t, I don’t know... you weren’t ready to love me then.” All sounds on your end stopped, just you and the phone connecting the two of you.

“I can’t really love you from here now either...”

That wasn’t what you meant though, he knew that.

You meant that the two of you, fighting to get Escobar in the Colombian heat, he wasn’t ready. He was seeing informants every other night, he was drinking himself to sleep every other night. And more than anything else, he was putting his life on the line every day and not caring what it took to get Escobar.

He wasn’t ready to love you. Or maybe, he was always ready to love you, he just wasn’t to be loved.

That’s why he didn’t tell you, that’s why he let you leave.

“You should take that trip, Javi, maybe when things die down, maybe when you are ready...” you hummed.

“I don’t know when we’ll get Escobar, I don’t know how long that’ll be.” He huffed, rubbing over his face and leaning forward onto the counter in front of him.

“It’s okay...” he heard your plate hit the counter, “I’ll be here.”

He needed you to be. Just the thought of having you one day could be enough to get him through the rest of this hell.

“You didn’t let me say it.” He added, a smirk slowly growing on your face, he wondered if you could hear it.

“Hmm?”

“That I love you, you said it for me...”

He could hear the smirk on your lips, “yeah I guess I did.”

“You’ll have to wait then.”

“Really?” It wasn’t a smirk he could hear, it was a real genuine smile. He wished he was there to see it.

“So I can say it in person.”

You’d wait. He’d wait.

No matter how many long days it took.

#javier peña x reader #sweet #1k celebration

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lizacstuff · 4 years ago

Note

Liza that 3rd fragman �� "if I was born a 100 times I'd fall in love with you everytime" Eda saying this is their last obstacle and nothing can separate them, serkan's "I'll be right back, close your eyes I'm here" If this isn't all a red flag for shits about to hit the fan then I don't know what is LOL (but also how cute to Edser look and them telling each other they love each other very much 😭😭😭)

That fragman is both the SWEETEST and the MOST OMINOUS thing I’ve ever seen. ALL AT ONCE.

Friends... we’re gonna go through some things. That being said, everything is going to be great. These writers have been solid so far, and I have faith they have come up with something really interesting to increase the longevity of this show. And I don’t know about you, but I’m prepared to go through some things if it means keeping Eda and Serkan for longer. (I heart them)

This show is about Eda and Serkan and their love story, at it’s core it’s a comedy, it will all lead to happy things, but... yeah, buckle up!

I have a lot of asks both about the fragman and last ep, so I’m going to answer a bunch under the cut.

Anonymous said: The fandom theories about episode 28 have gotten so wild that I literally think the most shocking thing would be if they actually got married and were not separated (emotionally or physically). What if the earlier painful episodes were to make us believe that things couldn't possibly go right in 28 and it's a reverse psychology trick?

You could be right! I like your thinking. I checked on twitter and I had to back away slowly. The juvenile temper tantrums were too much for me today.

Look, I think it’s clear something big is coming. It has to, there has to be something that shakes up the show. Some of the theories are more upsetting and catastrophic than others, but the writers won’t do anything that dings either character or their love for one another. Whatever happens will showcase the connection between these two and the chemistry between the actors, that’s the point of everything, and anything that does those things is gonna be a-okay with me.

@jan31 Hi Liza. Do you think we are going to see the wedding in 28 or they will leave it on a cliffhanger for next week. Lots of theories going round mainly cos of Neslihan saying new dimensions coming in episode 29, which could just mean married life etc. I have seen suggestions of memory loss, it's all a dream since episode one. I would personally love Eda to wake up like in episode one but for it to be a total turn around and she is the boss and Serkan the employee. Eda being robot yildiz appeals to me!!! I know it will never happen but leave me here with my dreams!!

I started the day at 90% sure they’ll be married in 28/29, but now I’m down to like 30% that they’ll get married in these episodes. I really, really want them to get married before whatever happens happens, because every scenario I can think of for this reset or starting again, seems like it would be better if they were married.

However, the shooting spoilers from today, make me question that. Namely the videos where Hande appears to still be wearing the ring on her right hand. We shall see, that could be for many reasons.

Honestly, though, I wouldn’t hate a memory loss storyline. Seeing one of them (and Serkan’s line in the trailer makes it seem like it might be him) lose their memory and have to fall in love all over again? There are worse fates for a shipper than getting to experience that all again but in a different way.

Anonymous said: Your response to the fandom drama anon was so good, it's exactly how I feel. While I don't know what the old posts that were like are (that's shady as fuck) I did see all the other drama go down and wow. The actresses def need to stay in their lane and some of the fans, hoooo boy, it's obvious they're young based off their reactions alone. Had to unfollow some people once I realized what they were like. Also some of the IRL shipping reminded me of col*fer stuff, reading into everything and blowing it out of proportion (which then gets picked up by paps....). But you're right in that at least the show related drama is tame compared to OUAT. But still, people being too careless even while they know the paps see everything and harass Kerem and hande (omg did you see the video of hande the other day stopped in the van and she looked so overwhelmed 😔)

You’re referencing this post here about yesterday’s drama.

Today Neslihan made it worse by addressing everything and claiming she didn’t like all those Hande-bashing posts because... wait for it... she was HACKED. Oy. Hackers got in and went back two years to like gross posts about Hande? Sure, Jan. While I don’t believe that for a second, I guess that at least gives her cover with Hande so they can all pretend it’s true and move on so it’s not awkward on set. But, yikes, she needs to consult a publicist, she took a narrative that was circulating in certain circles in fandom and made sure all her followers were aware. Not very savvy.

As for the paps coming after Hande, yes I did see her in the car, she did look overwhelmed. Back off vultures!!! That’s why I think Kerem sometimes throws himself to the wolves so that doesn’t happen. She always handles them like a pro, but you can tell she’d rather be anywhere else on earth than talking to them.

The pap stuff is worse than I’ve seen before, they’re like vultures circling for any conjecture (sometimes made up out of thin air) they can turn into a question and blame fans. OUAT actors dealt with nothing like this. Also I can’t believe they never ask about the show. Like after last week? They could legit ask about the sex scene which probably would have given them some angle on the actors that they wanted, (especially since it was too hot for Turkish TV) but they let that pass them by, and instead asked the same questions about being together that they never answer. Dumbasses. They are not only awful people, they are awful at their jobs.

In Van, the paps pay off crew members for info, they always know more than fans. Also I don’t remember stars of my shows getting this level of tabloid attention before. Except for on Riverdale, Lili and Cole generated that level of interest, and while I didn’t pay terribly close attention to them, I feel like they rarely talked to the paps, were just photographed. Also I don’t suspected the CW of calling the paps on them, but I suspect either the network or production company of sometimes calling them on Hande and Kerem.

Anonymous said: Do you think it’s weird that they didn’t touch the kidnapping at all in either trailer? They might not have filmed it in time for the 1st one but certainly the 2nd. And I’m definitely not complaining about the ones we got because its like a fairytale but the kidnapping was the cliffhanger...? 🧐 I think they should’ve just left the princes storyline at “he went back to his country” but then they didn’t so......

If they’d left his story at just going back to his country, then the Prince really wouldn’t have served his purpose. He was brought on to cause some sort of trouble, so they probably need him to cause the trouble before he goes, lets hope it ends with this kidnapping!

And to answer your question, yes, I do think it’s weird that neither trailer touched on it. On any other show I’d think it was a huge red flag, but on this show maybe not as much because a) there’s obviously a lot of romance in this episode, it’s not crazy that they are focusing on that to draw people in with the promos b) this show likes to do cliffhangers that end up being no big deal, that happens a lot.

Who knows it could turn out to be a big deal that shapes the rest of the episode in some unexpected way (Eda’s captured the whole episode and she’s dreaming about wedding prep, or... who knows) but I think it’s more likely that they resolve in the first 5-10 minutes and then move on. Since we know from the summary (not that I trust those) that Serkan goes on the bachelor weekend, it feels like the Prince is taken care of prior to that. I don’t think he’d leave her alone for a second if there was a chance the Prince was still a threat. Perhaps Babaanne is pissed he tried to kidnap Eda and tells them she’ll handle it herself???

Anonymous said: Semiha not being in the promo is highkey suspicious. The actress is promoting the episode lol. She's about to Evil Queen this wedding ceremony but you know what, I'm fine with whatever she has planned if they end up married at the end of the day. What's funny is that since a lot of fans these days will assume that there will be shocking negative plot twists, not actually having one here would be a plot twist so I hope the writers keep them together for whatever's next haha

You’re not wrong, at this point, having this wedding take place would be a shocking twist for all of us! As for Semiha... hmmm... it will be interesting to see what her reaction is to Eda being kidnapped by her pick of suitor. Serkan Bolat might be the son of the man indirectly responsible for her parents death, but he would never hurt her. Take note, Grandbag!

Anonymous said: Do you mind sharing your speculative scenarios?

After the trailer today, I don’t know if I can even remember some of them.

Memory loss

Grandma forces Serkan to choose between Eda and his company/wealth, he chooses Eda and they start over from scratch with nothing

Time jump

AU starting over, showing a different path they might have taken together

Dream

These actors playing different characters in a new story

I don’t think the last three are likely, but they did spring to mind after some of Neslihan’s teases.

Anonymous said: So this show doesn't get like fantastic ratings (it actually seems to be on the lower end compared to all other dizis airing) but the social media engagement is off the charts. Why is that?!? Is the show just extraordinarily popular internationally? or that this is a "shipping" show? I'm floored by the numbers - its like no other show/fandom is even trying

The ratings were terrific during the summer. But to your point, it has a huge fandom both in Turkey and internationally, but it’s worth noting that most of those charts you see where it beats every other show in every imaginable social metric is just for Turkey.

It’s one of those lightning in a bottle situations where you get the right property and the right actors together at the right time and magic happens. And, for sure, the number one reason is the shipping. Shipping drives fandom engagement, and a fantastic ship with a juicy, fun, tropey love story is what this show offers. It also offers up two extremely attractive, talented, likeable leads with off-the-charts chemistry (plus the added speculation about an off-camera relationship that has intrigued more than a few fans, tabloids and gossip sites and fueled interest) who have done a good job of building the fanbase through their social media engagement. Plus the timing is part of it as well. I don’t know about you, but this show hit the spot during this pandemic and the horror of 2020. We all needed this escape.

Anonymous said:Do you think something happened in the writers room after the backlash of 25 and fan disappointment after Ayse's announcement? I feel like a switch flipped and now we're in fanficland with how much good content we've gotten in these last two episodes. Like I thought maybe they should wrap up the series soon before the characters got completely off the tracks but they may be finding their groove now and I'm interested to see what their next twist is after they can write out Balca/Seymen.

I don’t know about a switch flip, this show has been fanfic land since the first episode! The tropes! That is how I described it to multiple people when I first started watching: an AU fanfic come to life.

As for the writing changes, no, I don’t think backlash after 25 affected 26 or 27, because 26 was already 90% shot, and 27 already written. However, I assume they themselves could tell that 25 got just too dark and had strayed pretty far from the DNA of the series. While I didn’t think it was bad, it was not fun to watch and this show ought to be fun to watch.

Let’s hope, however, that the backlash affects future episodes in that they know what works... and what doesn’t. The last two episodes definitely felt reminiscent of the first batch of episodes. Light, funny, romantic. If they can keep that tone... I’ll be thrilled.

Anonymous said: i didn't realize how much i missed "together" edser until watching 27.. it's been so long since they were "officially" together and we also had such few episodes of it.. ppl have been comparing it to 12 and while in some ways i agree, edser are always so different here than they were there. 12 was them navigating their new relationship.. they were more shy and finding their footing.. here they are very much established, as they should be after knowing their love for so long in comparison to 12!

Yes, it was lovely. You know I’ve preached a lot about how even though Eda and Serkan were broken up, they’ve still been together all this time. And it’s true, but there is something about them truly being together that is magical. We never got enough of that the first time around (a writing mistake in my opinion) and they’re so good together it’s lovely to watch.

Anonymous said: Serkan not asking for help from Balca when asking his team for help with the marriage gifts preparations and refusing her offer of help when she asked made me so happy. Good job Serkan! He's learning! She's not trustworthy!

Yes, that was a good moment. And he was eyeing her very warily when she offered. The thing I don’t understand is how has no one caught on that she’s working with Babaanne? That entire office is filled with nosy people, has no one remarked on the number of times Balca has gone up to the office or they’ve disappeared for lunch at the same time? Come on Leyla! Come on Melo! Notice these things!

Anonymous said: Fingers crossed that we finally make progress towards getting rid of Seiman & Balca now that all the girls were drugged and Eda was put in the car in the last episode. Unless Seiman has a change of heart and takes Eda back inside before anyone wakes & the guys get there then the show has to address it. Although I do not think Balca is going to back down unless Serkan straight up tells her he has zero interest in her and never will. Totally fine if that happens in the next episode.

Will Balca backdown even if she’s humiliated like that? She’s so delusional I’m not sure. What I am sure is that she’s dangerous. This came in before we saw the other two fragmans that have no mention of the kidnapping. Hard to picture how that is so easily resolved. Unless she frees herself (which seems unlikely in her groggy state) or maybe Melo’s future boyfriend is able to stop it before they get far? Or I don’t know. I just know that I want to see Serkan lose his mind and all the other characters see Serkan lose his mind and then I want it to be over. LOL.

Anonymous said: As much as I am loving everything Edser, I cannot wait for Seiman, Balca and Grandma to be gone. And I am even more annoyed to think that the show might try to redeem all 3 characters. All 3 of them are truly awful people and no need to waste air time trying to make the audience think any different. Just my opinion...🤷🏻‍♀️. Show please finally expose those 3 for the psychos they are and get rid of them.

Bye bitches! I don’t think there’s any redemption for Balca and Seiman. They both have poisoned/dosed people, hard to come back from that. And there is no need to redeem them because neither is compelling enough to be a long-term character. But maybe Granny, we probably will see a redemption arc for her.

Anonymous said: i know you were worried a few weeks ago that with ayse leaving as writer, we probably wouldn't have the same sort of comedy as previous episodes... but istg the whole kiz isteme scene, especially with chef alex, had me almost crying with laughter. especially when serkan off the cuff just goes "well if that's an option..." to everyone misunderstanding alex "wanting" ayfer for 2 nights and then eda ready to beat him with the flowers he bought her... comedic gold lmao.

SO GOOD! I was thrilled to see that sort of comedy, the sort of comedy we’d come to expect, from these writers. I think it bodes very well indeed!

That scene was amazing. I know Neslihan said that much of it was improvised. Probably that line from Serkan (since Serkan is SO out-of-his-mind in love I’m not sure he could even joke about having Eda only two nights a week! LOL) was improv from Kerem, and Aydan asking about the other nights, and Seyfi bringing up the weekend. And Eda’s very Hande-esque “Ser-KAN.”

I just love rewatching that scene and checking out everyone who is breaking character and just losing it. Cagri most of all. He’s blurred aback there but you can see Ferit spends the whole time laughing or trying to stifle a laugh. Reminds me of Cagri in the scene in 18 when they’re watching the security footage he was losing it in that scene as well.

Anonymous said: i'm scared - I think they are really about to give us all of these happy EdSer scenes only to have something happen RIGHT before the wedding ceremony due to Babaanne. Based on the last episode, I don't think there's any chance of a breakup (knock on wood) but what if Serkan gets arrested, goes to jail for 2 years, and we get a time jump?

This was sent before the last two teasers, so yes I think something is gonna happen. We shall see! I don’t really think Serkan going to jail for 2 years is in the cards, at least I hope not! Besides if Babaanne did that she would have no hopes of ever reconciling with Eda, so that seems unlikely she’d follow through and leave him there for so long a time.

Anonymous said: With the last week's sex scene, they did a lot of fade outs but the scene was basically still there so it wasn't much wasted effort for the actors. But for what they're teasing in episode 28 - idk how they can get away with showing them in the shower at all if Serkan lifting Eda with her clothes on had required blurring? Is Eda dropping her robe even pushing it? It's intriguing indeed.

Great questions. We’re 36 hours from finding out (well I'm longer than that because I wait for the English subs, hee hee) All I know is I want to see these scenes.. one way or another!

#sen cal kapimi #edser #Sen Çal Kapımı #sck spoilers #sck specualtion #sckask #sck episode discussion #asklizac #Anonymous

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minghaocouture · 4 years ago

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Pairing: Templar!Kim Mingyu x Elf Mage!Reader Genre: Dragon Age AU, enemies (?) to lovers, angst, established universe WC: 5k+ Warning: magical lobotomy (through branding), language

A/N: So this is for @merakiiverse job au collab! I’ve been wanting to write a Dragon Age au for like...ever, and this just gave me the push I needed. So there are some terms from the game used in the fic but I did my best to explain them without taking away from the story. Also really glad i finished this before i got sick lol.

“Come on wake up!” You groaned, slapping away the hands of your best friend as he tried to shake you awake. You had gotten to sleep pretty late last night, having snuck into the circle library to do a bit more reading after hours so you were trying to bask in the last few minutes of sleep before your lessons today.

You heard a loud groan from the younger male before everything seemed to turn upside down and your frame was sent tumbling to the stone floor of the Apprentice Quarters with a loud thud and a shriek. Your eyes snapping open to glare at your dear friend Chan with his hands still gripping the mattress that he had just thrown you from.

Quickly you shoved your palms against the chilled stone flooring to push yourself up, as the male laughed hysterically and dropped the mattress back onto the simple wooden frame of your bottom bunk.

“Chan, I want you to remember that we are trapped in this tower together for the rest of our lives. So I will be getting you back for this.” You muttered angrily as you brushed off your scratchy white sleeping robes that the circle had provided for you. Fueled by frustration, you quickly fixed up your bed so that the senior enchanters wouldn’t be angry with you for making a mess.

“Hey come on, don’t be like that!” He quickly exclaimed, offering you some assistance with fixing your bed if only so he could get on your good side once again. It’s usually what he would do to try and get on your good side, things like taking your cleaning duties or distracting the templars so you can sneak into the libraries at night. “I woke you up for a reason!”

“And what would that be?”

“They brought in new templars, fresh new faces for us to make fun of!” He made a good point. During your extended stay in the circle Chan and you had taken to picking at the Templars that were assigned to ‘guard’ the tower, well the Templars that wouldn’t immediately attack or detain you for your teasings. You shuddered as you remembered being thrown into the cramped cell that was used for solitary confinement.

“How many this time?” You questioned, pulling your daily robes from the chest at the foot of the bunk beds that you and Chan shared. You swiftly stripped yourself of the uncomfortable white material of your night robes and slipped on the navy blue skirt, once again curious as to why the skirts had such delicate embroidery on the hem if they were simply to be given to mages. Maybe it was something to make your people think they were in a higher position than they were, either that or a small ‘oh here are some pretty robes, we definitely consider mages people!’ kind of thing. You weren’t too sure.

Chan took a seat on the bed as you tied the skirt to fit your waist, he wasn’t bothered by your disrobing at this point. After all, the two of you had been in this tower since you were children and it wasn’t like the tower offered much privacy for any of the apprentices. If you wanted that you would have to pass your harrowing, only then would you receive private quarters.

You struggled with your skirt for a moment, it being far too big for you, but it wasn’t like they made new robes for every apprentice; everything you owned was a hand me down from either a senior enchanter or...a tranquil.

“There were four of them, they all looked like they came right from training too. No old farts this time,” He explained, lounging on your too thin mattress as you slipped the top piece on, the long sleeves and thick fabric felt just as suffocating as it did every day, and it also continued to show your status as a lower being in the eyes of these people. The small gold trim wasn’t as nice as it was on the human’s robes, and you were sure that was the point. It was something that looked nice, but not as nice as the human mages robes that Chan wore. It wasn’t enough that your mage abilities make you a lesser being but your elven blood as well, you were certain that the Maker had a sense of humor when he made you.

With practiced ease you tied the laces of your sleeves around your wrists before working on the clasps of your belts. It was a constricting and suffocating outfit that made you feel quite claustrophobic at times. As if the robes were just as bad as the tower itself.

“Well, I guess let’s go check them out. Gotta let these newbies know that not all mages are just gonna let them walk over us.” You tried to seem optimistic but after being in this tower for almost 16 years, it was a little harder to force that smile sometimes. Which was why you were grateful you had Chan with you, the two of you looked out for each other no matter what happened.

He hopped off of your bed and took a firm grasp on your wrist before pulling you out of the shared apprentice chambers, ignoring the strange looks from the templars and other apprentices as the two of you dashed into the hallway on the first floor of your prison.

The two of you peered around the corner into the entrance hall as you watched the initiates be inducted by Knight Commander Greagoir, the head of your captors, he was telling them all about their duty to the citizens of Ferelden and the Chantry, all that nonsense. It was basically just propoganda to make these people feel like they had the right to place themselves above you.

The new initiates weren’t too impressive, once again all humans of course, because the precious Chantry couldn’t trust elves such as yourself to become Templars. Most likely because elves would be more likely to opposed the confining of people just for circumstances of their birth, at least the ones who weren’t already brain washed into believing the Chantry’s inane teachings. That thought always reminded you that even if you weren’t trapped in this tower, you would simply be in an alienage in one of the many towns around Ferelden, another prison. Elves simply weren’t welcomed or free anywhere, at least not in a human society. There were surprisingly three women and only one male this time, which was abnormal because women seemed to stray more towards becoming Chantry sisters than Templars. So that was interesting, you’d have to figure out their names. The only interesting thing about the male was his ridiculous height. He looked almost tall enough to be a member of the Qunari, all he was missing was the horns, or at least you assumed since you had never seen a Qunari in real life.

If only you knew what would follow this day.

***

“You know, you aren’t supposed to be in the library after lights out.”

You almost screamed in surprise at the unfamiliar voice. You knew the schedule for the Templars and usually you were able to skirt around and hide whenever it was time for their rounds to reach the libraries. Apparently tonight was determined to be different. Glancing up from your book you flashed the Templar a sheepish smile, instantly recognizing this man as one of the new initiates whose name you had yet to learn. It wasn’t exactly...forbidden but initiates were definitely encouraged to not give their name to the mages or learn the names of the mages either, it was probably so they didn’t connect that you were real living beings and develop a conscience.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I said I had an incurable illness that causes me to sleep walk around the tower, would you?” You were likely to be in deep shit because of this. Knowing how new recruits were, usually the super brown nosing type, they wanted to make superiors happy so that they could get promotions. Unfortunately for you, that usually meant getting mages into trouble.

Knowing this was probably why you were so shocked to hear the giant male snort, in an attempt to hold back a laugh. In all the years of living here, you hadn’t met a Templar who actually laughed at your jokes or smiled at you...like this male was doing right now. He glanced over his shoulder looking towards the opening in the shelves that hid the two of you from view. This library was almost perfect for hiding, the rows were like their own little hallways with bookshelves that almost reached the ceiling which was perfect for blocking the light of your candle when you were here at night. He must be checking to make sure that none of his co-workers had entered the library after him.

Soon his attention was back to you, a small boyish smirk on his faces as he spoke. “Well I suppose I’d ask you to tell me about this terrible illness, is it contagious? I’m not sure the other mages would like it if I was roaming the halls in my sleep.”

You were once again dumbfounded by this human. You wouldn’t expect him to think about what would and wouldn’t upset the mages, usually the Templars just did what they wished with no regard for those they were meant to be watching over.

“No, I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t like that. Lucky for you, I was born with it just like my hideous magic.” You didn’t truly believe that your magic was horrible. If everything was done by the Maker for a reason, then so were mages! People were just taking Andraste’s “Magic exists to serve man, and never to rule over him,” thing a bit too far.

“I don’t think your magic is horrible. It’s a gift from the Maker! The Maker doesn’t give bad gifts,” He confessed, quite a controversial opinion for a Templar to have. With one more glance over his shoulder to make sure that the two of you were still alone, he pulled out the chair across from you and took a seat.

“I’m Mingyu. What’s your name?”

***

After that fateful night in the library, Mingyu and you kept in contact but only in the dead of night and only when he was scheduled to patrol the first floor library. Tonight was one such night.

“Chan is getting suspicious, ya know?” You mentioned, laughing softly from your seat at the table the two of you frequented. He raised a brow at you and tilted his head slightly, his lips jutting out in a small pout. He honestly looked pretty adorable like that, nothing like the fearsome Templar act he had to put on during the day.

“He thinks I’m shaking up with another apprentice and not telling him.”

“Imagine the look on his face if he knew you were just hanging out with me.” Mingyu retorted, going to rest his cheek on his palm only to remember that he was wearing his gaudy templar armor and deciding against it. This caused him to pout more and for you to laugh, making sure to keep your volume down so you weren’t caught by anyone else patrolling the area.

A silence fell over the two of you as your laughter subsided. It was here where the two of you were illuminated only by candlelight that you felt safe. That was something you weren’t used to feeling. In the Circle, there was a constant need to watch your back and be on your guard just in case some random Templar got pissy because you ‘looked at them funny’. It was a struggle for survival.

These nights were different though. You could almost imagine that you weren’t locked inside this tower you could dream about possibly being free and in the outside world that you vaguely remembered. Hell, how long had it been since you had seen the sun?

"How long have you been in the Tower?"

The question was innocent enough, but it definitely threw you off guard. It wasn't something you liked to think about often. It had been so many years ago and it wasn’t exactly a...pleasant memory.

"It's been...I think about 17 years almost? I developed my magic when I was around 6 years old and my mother was very devout. So she turned me into the chantry, saying that the Maker had frowned upon her and her family by giving them a Mage for a daughter." It hurt a lot thinking back on the day that your mother had abandoned you. Her pleas to the Chantry mothers, begging them to take you as she also begged for the Maker's forgiveness. Thinking she had obviously done something wrong if she had given birth to a mage.

You watched a frown set it self onto his face, obviously not having expected to hear such a thing. Most parents went so far as to hide their children from the Chantry, making them apostates, illegal mages, so that they wouldn't lose their precious bundles of joy. Just like Chan's parents. They had fought tooth and nail to keep him when the Templars came, it even cost them their lives. Chan didn't like talking about it but you knew that he still had frequent nightmares about that horrible day.

"What about you?" You questioned, diverting the attention from your situation and onto Mingyu. "Why did you become a Templar? I'm sure being a regular knight would have been just as nice, if not easier. At least knights aren’t also stuck inside the Circle tower." It may not have been a prison to the Templars, but they were still trapped inside these halls as well. Most weren’t really able to leave either unless they were going to visit their families, and even then that was rare.

He chuckled dryly at your words and shook his head.

"Something we have in common, I suppose. My family is also very devout, very deep into the teachings of the Chantry. All the men end up becoming Templars if they can. It's in our blood. So of course, as soon as I was old enough to hold a sword I was sent off to training to try and become the best Templar the Kim line had ever seen." The look on his face was one of melancholy, one that you recognized as a look that you had seen on other mages. The look of someone trapped in their own fate.

"Guess we're...kinda in the same boat, huh?" You gently nudged his arm that rested on the table with one of your fist. It was a small gesture, but one with meaning for both of you. Reaching out he gently, or as gently as he could while wearing full plate mail, took your extended hand in his own. The cold metal was a stark contrast against your heated skin, causing you to shiver lightly. He gave a small squeeze and a tiny smile made it’s way onto his face, as if he had been comforted by your words.

You felt your heart stutter for a moment, watching the features of his face in the candle light. It was still for a moment before he released you hand and stood from his chair.

"I should get back to my patrols before any other the others get suspicious. I'll leave a note in our spot when we can meet up again."

You were moments away from responding but stopped short as he leaned down and pressed his lips softly against your forehead. You were stunned still and silent as you watched him pull away, smiling at you once again, before slipping off into the night.

Your heart pounded in your chest as you stared after him in shock. Your face flushed with heat, and you knew that Kim Mingyu would be the death of you at this rate.

***

"I hope this doesn't offend you but...what is so bad about being made Tranquil?"

You winced slightly at his words, the thoughts of the Tranquil always frightened you. Of course, being a Chantry boy, he had been told from a young age that being made Tranquil was a mercy for mages. Because if you were Tranquil then at least you were alive. It was all a lode of rubbish. Instead of just answering his question, you decided to ask one of your own.

"Do you know Owain? The Tranquil who runs the Circle stock room?" He nodded slowly, unsure of where exactly you were going. "I arrived at the tower before he was turned. He was a kind man who took me under his wing and helped me adjust to life at the tower. I was very young and so very scared, but Owain had basically turned into a father figure for me. I cared for him so much." You felt tears prick at your eyes, threatening to spill over as you recalled the man you once knew.

"One morning, a few years after Chan had been sent here. I had to have been around 11, well we woke to find Owain standing in front of the stock room just like he does now. Only he was no longer the kind, father figure I had grown to love. He was so cold, lifeless. Being made Tranquil isn't a mercy to mages, it's taking every part of them that makes them who they are and ripping it away." You tried to keep quiet, but the more you spoke the more anger and fear bubbled in your guts. You had barely even registered that you had begun crying.

"You become a lifeless husk that holds the shape of who you used to be."

You couldn't bring yourself to look up from the table, to watch the emotions that were surely playing out on his face as he watched you cry. You were surprised at how silently he had moved, because you were soon pulled to stand and held tightly against his armored chest. It wasn't too comfortable because of the plate mail he constantly wore, the metal poking into your skin and it reminded you that while this embrace was comforting...it was also dangerous. Against your better judgement, your arms quickly wrapped around him and pulled him closer as you tried your best to keep your cries quiet. As you sobbed you heard him whisper soft nothings to you, but one stood out from the rest.

A promise that he would never let you be made Tranquil.

***

It wasn't long before those soft forehead kisses from before became kisses of passion. Soon you didn't need the candle light as your guide as you followed the curves of his body under his armor. Things changed quickly, and before you knew it two years had passed and you were hopelessly in love with Kim Mingyu. Something that should have never come to pass.

You were certain that at least First Enchanter Irving knew, he somehow knew everything that happened in the Circle Tower, and while you weren't a very religious woman, you found yourself praying to the Maker that Knight Commander Greagoir was still clueless. Unfortunately the one person you wanted to talk to about this was the person you were most determined to keep in the dark.

Lee Chan, your best friend.

"You should tell him." Mingyu, gently caressed your cheek, his gloves had been taken off long ago as the two of you lounged in your usual spot in the library. Your meetings had gotten farther and fewer between as he rose in the ranks of the knights and you stayed a simple apprentice.

If you were being honest you were a bit worried about that as well, but Mingyu assured you that it was nothing to be concerned about.

“Oh sure, that’ll go well. I can picture it now. ‘Hey Chan, you know the Templars who watch our every move and are sometimes ordered to strip us of our entire sense of self, yeah I’m in love with one of them. The tall lanky one that has been trying to joke with you, yeah the one you complain about all the time that’s him’.” You chuckled to yourself as you thought about his reaction to that, and not really realizing what you had just admitted. Not until you glanced over at Mingyu and found him staring at you dumbfounded.

“You love me?”

You froze, like a A million thoughts raced through your head, all of the best and worst possible outcomes. What if he didn’t feel the same way? What if this was just fooling around? What if he said he could never love an elf and he had just been using you? What if, what if?! Your heart thudded loudly inside your chest as you stared at him, unable to enunciate the way he made you feel.

Luckily for you all of those what ifs were cut off as his hand grasped the back of your neck and pulled you into a kiss filled with such fire that you could almost feel yourself being burned. Everything he wanted to say was trapped inside this kiss, you weren’t alone with your feelings and this kiss told you all you needed to know and more.

After a string of long, intense kisses that you were almost certain would lead to another round of light touches and soft moans, he pulled away. His forehead pressed against your own and a large almost blinding smile was plastered on his face.

“I love you too.”

***

You stared at the small flame of your candle in silence, he was late. Usually he was exactly on time, never early and definitely never late. It was too dangerous otherwise. Your stomach was in knots at the thought of what could possibly be keeping him. That’s when you heard the sound of armor clanking against the stone flooring, almost like the person was running. Since you weren’t entirely sure it was him, you quickly blew out your candle and slid under the table to hide.

The footsteps got closer and your heartbeat seemed to be almost as loud as the steps themselves. You only relaxed at the small call of your name. The familiar voice had you out from under the table in record time.

“You scared the daylights out of me Mingyu, I was worried something had happened.” You confessed, using a small bit of your magic to light the candle’s flame once again. The light gave way to the terrified look on his face, streaks of tears stained his cheeks, and you found yourself running to his side to wipe away the fresh batch that was threatening to spill out.

“Mingyu, baby what’s wrong?” You whispered, doing your best to comfort him by taking his hand in your free one and using the other to gently caress his cheek.

“We need to go. The Phylactery chamber, we need to find yours. I need to get you out of here.” His deep voice cracked as he tried his best to control his tears. He looked so frightened and pale even, despite his tanned skin. Your heart sunk as you thought of your Phalactery, the vial of blood that had been taken from you when you arrived and was stored inside a chamber with all of the other apprentice’s. It was the templar’s way of tracking you if you had ever escaped, and was the biggest reason you had never attempted to escape the circle.

What he was suggesting was crazy though, there was no way the two of you would be able to storm the Phalactery chamber, there were two locks and it required a fully realized enchanter to unlock one of them and you...had yet to be called for your Harrowing. So you tried to console him.

“Baby, what are you talking about? You know we can’t do something that crazy. If we get caught you’ll be kicked out of the order or worse, sent somewhere like Aeonar. Why are you ev-”

“They want to make you tranquil.”

Your heart stopped at his confession, eyes going wide as your blood chilled within your veins. Subconsciously you took a step away from him in disbelief, you didn’t question the legitimacy of his words because you knew for certain that he wouldn’t lie to you like that. Not when he knew your fear of being made Tranquil. You watched as he stared helplessly at you and began speaking once more.

“Knight Commander Greagoir thinks that...he thinks that you might be a blood mage. Even suggesting that you- that what we have is because of a demon’s influence.” He took a step forward to close the distance between the two of you, taking your hand back into his own. He liked holding your hand, he had said in the past, it made him feel loved so very loved.

“I know it’s not. I tried to talk to him but he...he wants me to perform the rite. Which is why we have to get you out of here!”

Your mind seemed to be going a million miles per hour but also seemed to stop all at once. Your limbs had gone numb as you stared blankly at the floor in terror, you weren’t sure what to do. If you ran on your own then they would just send Templars to find you and with your phylactery, it would be quick work and both you and Mingyu would end up dead. If you followed Mingyu’s plan, you would most likely be caught and turned Tranquil anyway only with this route he would also be punished for his crimes. Lastly, If you stayed, you would be made tranquil at the hands of the man you loved. There was no winning in this situation, there was never a winning choice for a mage.

You pulled your hand from his grasp, causing a small pained sound to leave his lips, breaking your heart as it did so.

“You have to do it…”

“Y/N no! We talked about this I won-”

“We don’t have any other choice!” You cursed yourself after your outburst, though at this point you weren’t sure you could get into anymore trouble. “If you got caught you would never be able to see Minseo or your parents again!” You had spoken of his family in great detail before, and you couldn’t bear to know that he would never see them again just because of his attachment to you.

You didn’t want to be made Tranquil, but you also didn’t want anything bad to happen to him. This was the only option where at least one of you would be able to keep living freely.

Thinking about the fact that your days were now numbered scared you, the numb feeling from before seemed to linger but you couldn’t find it in yourself to cry. Not now, not when you had to seem like you were certain of your decision. He needed that from you.

So you swallowed your terror and gently cupped his cheeks in your hands.

“You have to do this Mingyu. There isn’t any way of getting out of this. Not that will actually work.” You muttered, voice soft as you kept eye contact with the male. You felt his hands reach up and rest over your own, and took solace in the fact that what the two of you felt was real. At least for a little while longer.

“If it’s you...it’s okay.”

You had never lied to Mingyu before, but...this seemed like a good time to start.

***

The grip on your forearms was sure to form bruises, but at least after this you wouldn’t feel them.

You stared before you as the branding rod held in Mingyu’s tight grip lingered over the open flame, making sure that the metal would be hot enough to etch itself into your skin.

You couldn’t stop the tears that fell from your eyes, and you had sure tried. You knew that seeing you cry could cause Mingyu to hesitate, falter or even flat out refuse the order which would make this all for naught. At that moment, you felt so hopeless. Everything you had worked for, everything you had lived for would be coming to an end. All because of that simple, unassuming brand that your lover held.

At the command of Greagoir, he moved the brand away from the flame and stepped towards you. Reciting the Chant of Light as he did so. It was supposed to bring comfort to the mages and remind them that this was the Maker’s will, you found the words mocking even coming from Mingyu’s lips.

“Magic exists to serve man, and never to rule over him.” His voice strained as he spoke the Chant of Light, it broke your heart to hear him in such pain. His grip on the haft was so tight that you were almost certain that the metal of the rod would break.

“Foul and corrupt are they who have taken his gift, and turned it against his children.” His armored footsteps echoed against the stone flooring. Tears threatening to spill as he stepped closer to you. You felt the grip on your arms tighten as his fellow templars held you in place.

“Remember, that...that this is a mercy.”

With those last broken words escaping him, he lifted the sunburst brand and held it above your forehead. You saw the heartbreak burning in his eyes, and he hesitated refusing to move the brand any closer to your forehead.

Your eyes met his and watched as he desperately tried to keep his composure. You forced a small pained smile onto your face, and that seemed to be the only thing he needed. Not a second later, the metal pressed against your forehead and sparks of blue lyrium seemed to burst forth as the sunburst brand stripped away every bit of emotion you had to replace you with a husk that could no longer connect to the fade, to magic. A husk with free will but a husk nonetheless.

“I’m sorry.”

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