#conflictingthoughts

[davidwfloydart]

"To allow oneself to be carried away by the multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything, is to succumb to the violence of our times." #escapethematrix #escapegame #carriedaway #conflictingthoughts #endviolence (at Catalina Foothills, Arizona) https://www.instagram.com/p/ClbhPTqp0kW4xMtrFMQSsZzSLFWnVQFZWRpXW80/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[myonlychance]

|Conflicted| I’ve been openly discussing - move back to LA to stay with my mom while she is in recovery (maybe longer) after a slew of mini strokes mid-heart surgery. Flying back and forth the pst month has taken a toll on my personal and professional life. I’m torn, my Mom is torn and trying to heal, my brother is at his wits end. This was taken on a day trip break from staying by her side round the clock. Thank god for my supportive husband, friends, family, and my Mother’s community as well for keeping the load bearable. I’ll be back in a month. Hold on mom. M: Me P: Asher Wycoff @wycovian #loveforlauri #losangeles #abbotkinney #williamsburg #beachside #venicebeach #daytrip #distractions #upset #mentalhealth #healing #selfportrait #depression #conflictingthoughts #bicoastal #sacrifice #artistry #family #normalcy #chaos #photography #sonyar7ii #zeiss #portraitsnyc #portraitstream #portrait_pros #earthportraits #earthemotions #creative_portraits (at Abbot Kinney Boulevard) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bozp92PA5Hc/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1rqktzkpv111i

[iamstarlight]

I feel like I need to learn to chill, but at the same time I had a right to ask...

[my-hidden-lif3-blog]

Do you ever just want to die but at the same time really live?!

[etched-in-mymind]

Can't help it.

I'm sinking deeper. I know i shouldn't, but i am. What if i really fall for you...

[ladypeters]

Sometimes you just want to leave the crowd to get out & breathe, despite the freezing cold. #minnesnowta #conflictingthoughts #feelingmyfeels #itscomplicated

[jetblackjuelz]

How in the fuck do you truly get over someone you were planning to spend rest of your life with…. These days when i’m alone I find myself thinking about how everything happened and why it happened this shit hurts a lot man when does the torment end 😳😳

[cameocutouts-blog]

Do you ever feel like you're made up of more than one person? 

No, wait.

Hear me out.

I don't mean this is a weird bipolar kind of way either. I mean i feel like two different people. 

Yeah.

On the one hand i feel like Beth. The girl that likes pretty pastel 50's dresses, drinks afternoon tea and eats cucumber sandwiches and has a secret crush on Niall Horan. She loves to listen to airy fairy dance music and a sewing room full of pretty fabric and cotton suits her own to the ground. Her favourite TV shows are Gossip Girl and 90210 and she only wears make up when she wants to look cute and flirty. 

But on the other hand there's Beth 2.0. She's a throwback to 2009. She listens to the Offspring obsessively, lives in her Ramones baseball shirt and her favourite band is Suburban Legends (Yeah, didn't think you'd heard of them!) She drinks a bit too much, but she doesn't care, she's just having fun. She likes to attach spikes and safety pins to anything that she can get her hands on and has as many piercings as a person caqn have. Her hair is always a different colour and she lives in her army jackets. 

But i'm not just one person. I'm both of them. All of the good and bad things from those two people have been crammed together to make me who i am. Please don't tell me i'm the only person who feels like this. 

[incrediblyirresistible]

#Walmart #conflictingthoughts

[nottears-justrain]

Letter of Love - Aiden

Dear you

You probably knew this but

Your beautiful

And I don't just mean beautiful

I mean

Orange sky on an autumn day

Laying on wind blowing grass beneath me

Looking up at you 

As I get inspiration to write

Beautiful

Your eyes are like gems

Carved from diamonds

I'd replica them into earrings

To give to you

Beautiful

Prove to the world I can mold your face in the clouds 

Beautiful 

Your smile rest 

On the throne of your face

Waiting for reasons to live

again

Beautiful

Let me be the reason

Your skin shiver

Beautiful

The golden coat 

That surrounds your soul

With a touch softer

Than gods kiss

And A voice that'll take me through cotton fields

made out of baby whispers

Beautiful

Cry onto the soil of my heart so the liquid

Can grow my reasons for living

Beautiful

That'll make me sleep early just so I can

Wake up and daydream about

You

Beautiful

your the kind of beautiful

that happens once in a lifetime

Ill ask God to resurrect me

just so I can witness it again

Beautiful 

The butterflies in my stomach

Make room for doves type of

beautiful

your the type of beautiful

that makes me want to paint

A mental image in my head

And hang the painting on the walls of my mind

So when I wake up you'll be the first thing I think about

When I sleep you'll be the only thing I dream about

Your that kind of beautiful

[conor--maynard]

conflictingthoughts answered your question:

thats 1.15 am on Sunday,Singapore Time((: -sgmayniacs i’m cool with it! its a weeekend!!!

i know, thats why i picked a time like that.. as most mayniacs will be awake, because in america its around midday and its a weekend :)

[nottears-justrain]

Butterfly Wings - Andrew

Ripping wings off of butter flies

Its not fair cattipillars get to be so beautiful

Putting out the flames of the sun

Its ambition is to bright to be true

tearing words from the dictionary

Most of my feelings go unexplained

Freezing clouds in the sky

Only my eyes are allowed to rain

The first time I swam

I almost drowned in my sorrow I came up gasping for breath

And realized time is just a countdown To how much life I have left

People call me crazy, some call me weird

But they look at me with holes for eyes, and listen with closed ears

Am I wrong to need someone to love me

Before I love myself?

Or ask someone to price worth to me

so that I may know as well

Ripping wings off of butter flies

Its not fair cattipillars get to be so beautiful

Putting out the flames of the sun

Its ambition is to bright to be true

[nottears-justrain]

She said - Me, Andrew, Aiden

She said

That the sun doesn't rise, 

And the moon's shine isn't bright enough to light the night

And she's tired of stars falling on her

as she walk the streets

But this umbrella isn't strong enough

To cease the pain of all of her wishes 

falling from the sky

She said

That she just want to smile 

But she doesn't have any money to purchase them from stores

She doesn't keep spares in her draws

So she'll carve, curved extensions 

On the tips of her lips 

Look in the mirror and ask herself why so serious hoping

That her reflection will tell her its just a joke

All so she can laugh again 

She said

"God must be insecure

Because he created me in his image yet I hate what I see

I can feel the pressure of the cross being weighed on my back 

Every time I try and convince myself my worth

I can feel the crown of thorns piercing my head 

Every time I try and think positive 

And I'd rather die, then stay hanging on the cross

That I call my life for all eternity

Jesus, took the easy way out"

She said

"Im tired,

Tired of people telling me to keep my head up

Only to look up and see a cracking sky

Tired 

Tired of people telling me time heals all wounds

Well sorry to let you know 

The hands on my clock are disabled 

They aren't going anywhere

I'm tired, I'm just so tired, 

But I have insomnia so I guess

I will just have to keep hearing it

this drowsiness has made me weak I can barely

Open my mouth to speak 

So long I've wanted to utter these words

"Fuck, your online quotes…

Fuck, your faithless hope…

All I keep seeing are these fake faith notes

Been telling myself for years yet my face still mopes

I frown everyday and wear a smile for halloween 

I guess the demons and the ghouls bring the happy out of me

Or maybe I'm just faking, I'm a liar as it seems

Deep down I know it's real, yet I treat it like a dream…"

Maybe….its just me"

And she began to put on her pain

Like jewelry on her body

A necklace thats made from every broken promise she's ever been told 

Earrings that are made from lies 

that got close enough to whisper themselves into her ear

And the watch that rests on her wrist

Represents another time she's waited for hope

He opened up his arms to take her in 

And she said

"No, please, stay back

My eyes will cry out an ocean 

Of reasons why I don't think thats a good idea

And I will drown in them 

And frankly you're not strong enough 

to carry 10 tons of insecurities from the ocean floor

You can't hold up 10 tons of sadness thats in my heart

And there's no way you will pull 20 tons of depression

thats makes up my body, above the waters

So please, you'll only get hurt

Love me from a distance"

And he said

"I don't need to pull you up

I just need to kiss you

So that I can provide oxygen into your lungs

Long enough for my army of ShamWow paper towels

To come dry your tears

Look, I cracked a joke

So I can start chiseling a smile where your frown lives

I'll knock on its door a

And ask for the deed to your face

and I will never let him back inside"

And she closed her eyes

And started to drift to the bottom of the sea 

and extended her hands knowing he will follow

Expecting to prove him wrong

Wanting to prove him right

[nottears-justrain]

Beautiful Lie-Aiden

The winds whisper in my ear Telling me every secret that I've ever kept inside that I didn't want to know Every memory I tried to delete off the hardware of my mind and every thought that I tried to push to the back of my head so I wouldn't ponder  See the winds carry the fragrence that spill from your soul and the sound of the rustling trees resemble the voice that once said "I love you" Your tongue was made out golden deception that's easily passed through the gates of your lips And your eyes would sparkle manipulation  Your fingers had a touch that tricked me into beleiving you actually cared Your skin was  sticthed from the finest materials that never existed your breath reecked of lies that were masterminds at disguising themselves as truths  Girl your a beautiful lie Lucifer would be jealous And it seems like you got high off my emotions You held them in your hand And crushed them to dust to sniff off my heart See your words once rang like chimebells that sing everytime a door is open But now your words mimic fingernails screeching on the chalk board of that surrounds my mind The very image of your smile Delicately cut across my stomach but I don't feel it  Until I notice all of the feelings kept within started to bleed out I was given two options 1.patch myself up and keep those feelings inside Or allow them to bleed out and die The butterflies that once lifted my spirit Are now phantoms. Enjoying a game of kick ball with it. But I think that the worst part of it all, Is that at the end of the day .....I still love you

[nottears-justrain]

If I were a poet-Me

If I were a poet, I'd take peices of my mind and share them with you Please dont mistake me for a book writer Because ill tell you my life's story in 4 minute segments From start to finish to everything in between Every intermission Every deleted scene I'll tell you the story of every stain on every picture Im in And explain how I met the person holding the camera If I were a poet, I'd tell you about the day I was born On June 20 1993 6:12 am All the way to the time when I first started walking I skipped the crawling stage because by age 3  I had already realized I couldn't hold hands with my shadow  And by age 6 I was running after my dreams  If I were a poet, I would use metaphors and similies to create an image of how I felt when I first loved. Like how catipillars feel when they first realized the world was wrong They can be beautiful I'd turn tears that fall from my face into words To prove to you that guys can be sensitive to If I were a poet I'd stand up on a stage And perform and autopsy On my own body While my feelings spill out on the floor Replacing my guts I'd tell total strangers the thoughts I was never brave enough to tell myself  See if I were a poet I'd write inspirational ryhmes To inspire others to be inspirational. I'll write rhymes about standing up for those whos stuck sitting down And give verbal hugs to those who never felt the warmth of a touch  I will allow the blind to see through hearing  And the deaf to here by seeing If I were poet, I'd explain that happiness Is the feeling you get when the wings of an angel  grow from your back  And you wake up knowing that the rays Of a sunshine will continue to shine on you I'd explain that sometimes you're going to be sad But understand that a rainbow is the sky's frown Telling us thy even on our worst days The skies shine bright. If I was a poet, I may not be the greatest poet I may not be good poet But I'd write about what I'd do, if I were a poet

[nottears-justrain]

Breathe-Andrew

People dont understand how it feels to be depressed. How your life is slowly fading into black

  Often on nights

I find myself taking to the ceiling because it is the only thing that listens to me speak I listen to walls talk because the silence is the only time I don't hear my flaws.  And I hug the emptiness of the room because I feel its better to start out with nothing than to lose everything I look in the mirror and sometimes I feel rejection by my own reflection  This is what happens when you tell your soul you love it and it doesn't say it back When your mind tells you your heart knows best and your heart tells you not to trust your mind When your joy last for an eternity  But eternity is only a lightyear away When the air in your lungs feel like nitrogen inside of a gas chamber When the only thing your allergic to are compliments And caring and those who open their arms to take you in Help me get over my allergies People tell me I should be happy more so I stand on my hands because thats the closest  Ill ever come to a smile Every breathe take is made out of every word I wasted telling someone who I am I'm belly fat from feasting on all my insecurities my thirst is quenched from every tear that drips from the eyes of my inner self everytime I cried inside Its amazing how everytime I reach for the sun my soul bursts into flames yet it feels so cold  Did you know, that there are more grains of sands on the ground then  there are stars in the sky I know I'm straying from the poem But  understand that even a shadow leaves when it gets to dark I'm OK....no I swear I'm ok My pride is knawing  At my tongue every time I try and bring that  Into existence  I swallow my words Like bullets that backfire Traveling back to my backbone I have no support system Lonely is my disease I heard they haven't found a cure Only things to slow the process  like writing and hanging out And partying But I want to feel joy I want to feel joy like waking up knowing everything will be ok joy like walking down the street With a rainbow trail behind you Like flying on the back of angel towards a sky of butterflies I want to feel joy like walking Through a feild of clouds Like swimming in a sea of happiness drowning in laughter with school of smiles swimming around you Joy like when the wings of a peguses is pounding themselves against the sides of your stomach I want to feel like when you can go up in space not having to worry bout running Out of oxygen and your lungs exploding I want to feel Joy like when you breathe