#concussed natasha is my favorite thing
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yarnnerdally · 1 year ago
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You get my favorite number: 10!
Hehe I know you've been exposed to Honkai Star Rail bc of some of my reblogs but maybe not the fanfiction itself, but this is an untitled WIP for Sampard (Gepard/Sampo)
For being the Captain of the Silvermane Guards, Gepard was an idiot.
A gorgeous idiot, but an idiot nonetheless.
A gorgeous idiot that was currently on a cot in Natasha's clinic after fending off a Fragmentum monsters that Sampo would have been able to handle.
A gorgeous idiot with a concussion who hardly remembered what day it was.
He was drowsy, now, and rambling about things Sampo knew he would regret once the memories of all of this came back to him. He was talking about everything he could think of for the sake of staying awake with no regard to the consequences. "Did you know I don't know who my soulmate is?" Sampo and Natasha's eyes went wide as the Captain kept speaking. "I didn't know my mark was a soul-mark until a couple years ago. I thought I just didn't even have one."
WIP ask game here!
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themculibrary · 1 year ago
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Under 1k Masterlist 3
part one, part two
a gift like joy (ao3) - shellybelle clint/natasha T
Summary: It’s not often that SHIELD requires Natasha to use some of her more specialized skills. When they do, Clint has learned what to do—even if Natasha disagrees.
Candy Flowers (ao3) - RiotFalling bucky/tony T
Summary: Just Bucky and Tony on date night.
Cat Dad (ao3) - hulkling616 sam/steve G
Summary: Sam has a new cat.
Cheeseburgers In Paradise (ao3) - kayura_sanada steve/tony T
Summary: It was when Tony wiped the mustard off his face that Steve realized he was in love.
Date Night (ao3) - sharpiesgal (TigerLily) clint/tony T
Summary: Clint is an amazing boyfriend. He puts up with Tony’s nick names, forgetfulness and desire to drive Nick Fury crazy. To prove this he plans a very special evening for their weekly date night.
Entangled With You (ao3) - thorsbruce bruce/thor G
Summary: in which bruce’s dog and thor’s dog entangle the owners in their leashes.
Falling Hard (ao3) - BilletDoux clint/wade G
Summary: When you've had as many concussions as Clint Barton's had, the effects begin to linger, and sometimes he needs someone to help him navigate the bad moments.
Favorite person in the world (ao3) - Apollorising clint/natasha G
Summary: Clint Barton may be down but is he out?
Clint questions his place on the team after an injury puts a hold on his archery. Can Natasha make him feel better?
Frosting Fights Are Anything But Fair (ao3) - Heartithateyou steve/tony G
Summary: Tony and Steve are in the middle of making a cake for Bruce’s birthday (Steve’s stupid idea) and somehow it ends up in a frosting fight.
got a whole lot of history (ao3) - haveufoundwhaturlookingfor G
Summary: Bucky meets Wanda at the airport for the first time before the big fight. His first instinct is to protect her with all his might.
Heartache Squared (ao3) - sammysouffle G
Summary: It’s been a month since Steve left and Sam is a mess.
Helping Friends Move (ao3) - copperbadge bruce/clint T
Summary: Bruce may not have been entirely up front about his motives in asking for Clint's help moving into Stark Tower.
I Hate Running (ao3) - copperbadge bucky/clint T
Summary: Clint and Bucky go running. This was a potential mistake.
I Love You As Certain Dark Things Are To Be Loved (ao3) - redbrunja clint/natasha E
Summary: The first time was a run-down hotel in St. Petersburg, Natasha's eyes empty and her mouth twisted in a practiced smile. He'd pinned her wrists to the bed and she'd wrapped her legs around him like gravity had gone AWOL and he was the only steady thing she had.
Of Boats, Blankets, and Beyonce (ao3) - sammysouffle joaquín/sam G
Summary: Sam and Joaquin have a date night on the boat.
Of Christmas and Kittens (ao3) - SomeSortofItalianRoast steve/bucky G
Summary: The snow it is snowing and the wind it is blowing, but I’ve got my love to keep me warm. Or, Bucky and Steve get started decorating for Christmas.
Three Little Words (ao3) - izazov steve/tony G
Summary: As it turned out, making the first Iron Man suit in a cave out of a box of scraps was less challenging than saying ‘I love you’.
Two Time(s) Travel(s) (ao3) - MuffinEngineer86 darcy/brock T
Summary: Brock desperately needed to go back in time to prevent something from happening to Darcy.
whatever you ask for (ao3) - Kestrafagnor bucky/sarah T, 783
Summary: The Wilson family wants Bucky to join.
You Will Always Fall In Love, And It Will Always Be Like Having Your Throat Cut (ao3) - redbrunja clint/natasha M
Summary: Natasha Romanoff moves like the flash of light off a knife blade.
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Clintasha Advent 2021
Day Five: Time
Slight CW for concussions.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clint’s phone buzzes with a text message, the four quick vibrations signaling it was Tony.
He ignores it. He’s exhausted, having been driving for several hours at this point through the night, and he’s not confident in his ability to drive in the total darkness and read a text while being so tired.
A ringtone fills the car a minute later, and Clint groans. He lets it ring to the final ringtone out of spite before accepting the call.
“Tony, if you’re calling me at almost 3am because you blew up another lab I swear--”
Tony cuts him off. “How far away are you? We need you here, now.”
Clint frowns and glances at the clock. “I’m only like.. An hour away. What’s going on?” He’s almost afraid to ask.
“Natasha just rocked up from her mission with a concussion.”
Clint waits for him to continue. He doesn’t. “...Is she okay?”
“No. I mean, yes, she doesn’t have any other injuries, if that’s what you’re asking. But this situation is absolutely not okay because she has a concussion and you’re not here to deal with her. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but she doesn’t exactly listen to anyone else.”
Clint puts more pressure on the gas pedal, watches as the speedometer goes up. Tony starts to say something else to him, but Natasha’s voice cuts him off from further away, and he interrupts himself to mumble at her for a moment before returning. “Seriously though. She’s asking for you.”
There’s fumbling on the phone, and then Natasha is speaking.
“Clint?”
He smiles, suppressing a laugh at Tony in the background who is cussing at her for stealing his phone. “Hey Nat. What happened to ya?”
“Uh,”
“It’s okay if you don’t remember right now.” He tells her.
“Where are you?”
He glances at the clock on the dashboard. “I’m 40 minutes away. I’ll be there soon, okay?” The roads are empty - he doesn’t feel guilt as he presses the car to go faster upon hearing the frown in her voice.
More fumbling, and Tony is back on the line. “What am I supposed to do with her?”
Clint rolls his eyes. “You’ve dealt with concussions before, Tony. If she’s not being combative, just wait with her. I’ll be there soon. Put on a movie or something to keep her distracted. She likes Bond. Just no disney or cartoons or anything like that.”
“Yeah, got it, Okay.” Tony says something to Natasha, and the phone clicks off.
Clint laughs and turns the radio volume higher, returning his focus back to the road. Tony likes to act like an idiot, but Clint was also well aware of how close Tony and Natasha actually were. He was thankful to have someone he didn’t have to worry about Natasha being around while she was not in her right mind.
.
His phone is ringing again.
“Are you here yet?” It’s Natasha, even though it’s Tony’s phone.
“Tasha. It’s only been like… ten minutes.”
There’s a pause as she tries to process his words. “...But are you here yet?”
“Goddammit, Natasha.” Tony is there then, taking his phone back. “I go to the bathroom for one second and she finds the phone again.”
“Where is her own phone?” Clint asks.
“I confiscated it. I don’t trust her near any technology while she’s concussed. No way. Next thing we know she’d probably accidentally leak CIA documents while trying to open Spotify.”
Clint snorts. He doesn’t blame Tony for taking it. “Tell her I’ll be there at 3:20.”
There’s a thump, sounding suspiciously like the small body of his partner hitting the ground, and Tony disconnects the call, but not before Clint catches an exasperated “I thought you were supposed to have good balance?!”
Fifteen minutes later, It’s Steve’s phone calling. Clint’s stomach drops as he immediately assumes the worst- that she was becoming resistant and Tony had had to get Steve, the only other person on the team besides Clint who was capable of restraining her. It wasn't uncommon for her to forget where she was or who she was with while concussed.
Instead, It’s just Natasha again. “Tony is being mean to me,” She tells him, and he has to stifle a laugh at the pout he can practically hear on her face.
“I am not!” Tony’s protest comes from across the room. “I was just trying to get her to drink some water!”
“Drink some water, Nat.”
She ignores him. “Where are you?”
“I’ll be there soon. Tony told you at 3:20, remember?”
“That’s going to take hours.”
“No, Nat. Look at the time. It’s 3:00 right now. It’s only twenty minutes.”
“Hours.” She repeats, a whine in her voice.
“How did you get Steve’s phone, anyways?”
“He gave it to me.”
Clint isn’t sure how much he believes that, but he isn’t going to argue with her. There’s a noise, reminiscent of the phone slipping out her hand, a string of cuss words from her, and then silence as the call gets cut off.
He’s making good time, pushing the car despite the almost empty gas tank. He’s only five minutes away when the next call comes, this time patched through from JARVIS.
“Okay, seriously, how far out are you now?” Tony asks, and Clint can hear the hint of desperation. “Can you speed it up? Because now she is starting to be combative. She’s confused about why you’re not here. Thinks something happened to you that we aren’t telling her.”
Clint can hear Natasha arguing with Steve in the background as he tries to reason with her, explaining why he couldn’t let her leave the tower.
“Can she hear me now?”
“Yeah.”
Clint talks to her, then, letting her know he was only a few minutes out, that he was okay. He keeps up a constant string of random dialogue for her, updating her each time he gets a minute closer, until finally he is pulling up into the tower. He barely has time to get out of his car before the elevator to the garage is opening, and his arms are filled with a red haired figure crashing into him.
Clint presses a kiss into her hair before glancing up to fist pump at Tony. “Four minutes early!”
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dnvrsmedia · 3 years ago
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Horrible, Horrible Day
Wanda Maximoff x Fem!reader
summary: the reader has been overworking themselves as of late and reaches their breaking point during one horrible day. Wanda comes home and consoles the reader.
word count: 958 (short one for today)
genre: mostly fluff (hurt/comfort if you squint?)
warnings: cheeky at the end
masterlist / ask box
you do not have my permission to repost my material and claim it is yours. that is plagerism.
likes and reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed.
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Everything was against you. Well at least that’s what it felt like. You woke up this morning with a crick in your neck and an empty spot next to you in bed where your lover should be. You and Wanda rarely ever get to share the same bed due to your both very busy schedules. From your knowledge, the both of you had off today. You groaned as you got up from the bed. Just your luck your feet get tangled up in the linen and cause you to fall face first on the cold compound tile. You felt tears threatening to spill but sucked them right up. ‘Mama aint raise no bitch’ you thought to yourself and continued on with your day.
You went to the bathroom and found a note from Wanda taped to your mirror. The note read,
“Got called in for a couple things this morning. Didn’t want to wake you up. I’ll be home as soon as I can. I love you printesa - Wan x”
You pouted knowing that the day you two spent months trying to plan was practically ruined. You stripped yourself of your sleep clothes (which is really just Wanda’s t-shirt and a pair of shorts you borrowed from Nat a few years ago that you never got back to her) turned on the water and slipped into the shower.
Literally, you slipped in the shower and busted your ass. Now you have a crick in your neck and an unattractive looking goose egg on the back of your head. You lay in the shower in defeat as you silently cry. You stay there for a few moments before carefully standing up and cleaning yourself with Wanda’s favorite soap. The scent of lavender and honey always calms you down especially if your favorite girl is wearing it. You finish up and waddle into your room to change.
At this point all you want to do is crawl back to bed and succumb to the void as you try to forget that this dreadful day is only starting. You collect yourself once more and manage to get dressed without hurting yourself more. You walk down to this kitchen. A cup of coffee would make this day a fuck of a lot better. Or so you thought.
“Fuck! Fuck me! Fucking piece of shit!” You exclaim as the coffee maker with steaming hot coffee combusts all over you and the kitchen walls.
“Woah woah what happened here?” The familiar voice of your best friend Natasha Romanoff is heard as she wets a cloth with cold water to put on your coffee soaked chest.
“I’m having the worst day Tasha!” you continue to tell her about your terrible day as your lip quivers. You barely finish as you start to sob.
Natasha’s eyes go wide since she has never seen you this worked up before.
“Hey it’s alright. Why don’t we bring you to the med bay to make sure these burns and that head trauma isn’t serious?"She wipes your eyes as you nod in agreement.
Unbeknownst to you, after Nat brought you to Dr.Cho she messaged your girlfriend knowing you could use some of her support. Your results came back as a minor concussion but your burns were nothing major. You would only be out from missions for no longer than a week or two at max. You were discharged and sent to your room. Feeling defeated about your day, you changed your coffee stained shirt and laid in bed, contemplating life.
Wanda got the message from Nat and hauled ass to your shared bedroom. She slowly walked through the door as she took off her shoes and coat. Your body was lumped in the corner of your bed as the blanket was wrapped around you burrito style. Your sniffles could be faintly heard.
“Oh, printesa.” Wanda coos as she moves over to the bed and wraps her arms around your body. As soon as she comes in contact with you, you begin to cry harder. Wanda feels her heart break for you. You have been working so hard for the past few months and this was your breaking point.
“It’s okay, darling. Let it all out, I'm here now. I'm here.” Wanda whispers sweet nothings in your ear as she rubs your back. The salty tears can be felt on her shirt, but that is the least of her worries.
Moments pass as you finally stop crying. You slightly separate from the crook of your girlfriend's neck as she looks down to you.
“I missed you so much, Wan.” You pout. “Today was horrible and I just want to sleep but I can’t even do that because I have this stupid concussion and my head hurts so bad.” You can feel yourself getting worked up again and so can Wanda.
“Shh, I know honey. I’m so sorry that I wasn’t here for you today. I’ve missed you so much. That’s why I’ve decided that you and I are going to go on a month- long vacation to wherever you would like. Fury owes me and I have already got the okay to do so. Once you get better we’ll be on the beach somewhere sipping on margaritas.” She chuckles and kisses you.
You pull away from the kiss with a giggle.
“You just want an excuse to see me in a bikini.” Wanda fake gasps and playfully shoves you.
“I love you, baby.” Wanda leans in for a kiss but stops before she reaches your mouth.
“I also wouldn’t mind getting to see what’s mine in a bikini.” She smirks as your face gets red. Now It's your turn to playfully smack her arm.
“I love you too, Wan.”
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xneens · 4 years ago
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thank u, next (ft. loki)
Warnings: angst, swearing, jealousy, mentions of sex
Word count: 4.5k
Summary: A new team member in the group shakes things up for the super soldier.
Or: In which Steve casts you aside for a Carter only to regret his decision when he sees you with the God of Mischief.
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"Yeet."
Swiveling your chair, you saw the empty pint of ice cream hit garbage can, bouncing off the rim and dropping on the floor with a light thump. You looked at Tony, shaking your head. "You've been hanging out with Peter too much."
"Why, thank you." Tony replied, smirking at you. "So, tell me, you sexy vixen, how do you feel with Thor bringing Loki? You were quiet during the whole argument that almost ended with Barton ripping out his eye."
You shrugged, the heels Tony had bought earlier drawing your attention to your feet. "I'm fine. I don't really care, I mean, I wasn't with you guys when New York happened so I don't really think I get to have an opinion about whether the mind-controlled God of Lies gets a spot in the team."
"You realize your on the team, right? I'm pretty sure your opinion matters especially with the mass murderer joining." Tony replied, accidentally hitting himself with the candy cane in his hands. "I really thought you were going to side with Cap on this one. You always do."
It wasn't a secret that Steve Rogers wasn't completely on board with the plan. That was pushing it; in other words: Steve Rogers despised the plan. If he could kill it, he would've. When Thor had proposed the plan to bring Loki on the team (a punishment from Odin himself)—trying to convince everyone he was "good" now—less than a handful had let him continue speaking. The rest wanted to riot. You had just sat there, a smirk on your face as you watched the six of them fight with each other while Fury shook his head, looking like a disappointed father.
When everyone had came to an agreement on Loki's trial period, there had been pages of rules on what he was restricted on doing including magic and stabbing. Of course, it was very specific so even the God of Mischief couldn't find a loophole. Maybe he could if he tried, which he probably will.
Clicking your tongue, you shrugged, ignoring the little pang in your chest. "Not on this. I'm smart enough to see that there's more reward than risk to have Loki on the team. For example: he's not bad to look at."
Tony choked on his candy cane, coughing up a large piece. With wide eyes, he studied you in silence, trying to figure out if you had been joking. "Are you serious? We should bring you to Helen so you can get your head checked. There's a chance you might have a concussion from the last mission."
"You have eyes, you can see how regal he is despite not genuinely being born royal. And those cheekbones..." you trailed off, biting your lip at Loki's handsome features. Tony raised an eyebrow, slowly shaking his head. "Not that his perfect bone structure justifies all the people he's killed. I'm just very observant being an avenger and all."
"Uh-huh, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure." Tony mumbled, leaning back on his chair, his eyes narrowing after your confession. "Ms. Natalia Romanoff didn't get the chance to tell me what happened between you and old Capsicle."
Rolling your eyes, you spun around in your chair, facing away from the nosy billionaire. "There's not that much to tell. We talked, we liked each other, then the sun came up and reality set in as the form of Sharon Carter. It didn't take long for him to ditch me to go for Peggy's niece. Anyways, been there, done that. People change."
"You're not the same girl I met." Tony stated. "On that note, Rogers' old brain is still defrosting and he's getting older so I don't think he knows how stupid he is...yet."
"And I'm not going to wait for him to find out." you muttered, a loud sound coming from the big yard. Looking through the garage window, you saw the blinding light before two figures in different colored capes appeared, the blinding light ruining the fresh-cut grass. Beaming at Tony, you got up. "Want to plan a party with me?"
"You say that like I'd have the ability to say no. Tonight?" Tony replied, grinning at thought of loud electronic dance music and booze.
Getting up, the stilettos clicked on the floor, your perfect pedicure peeking through the hole. Smiling, you walked towards the door. "Well, we are in the presence of two Gods. I think it's only fair we celebrate like it."
"I'm putting Party in the USA on the track-list!"
Rushing to the lawn where the rest of the team gathered, your mood was lightened by the sight of the golden haired retriever in disguised as a jacked God. Ignoring the others, you threw yourself at Thor, the God of Thunder catching you, arms tightening around your body. You let out a breathless laugh, momentarily forgetting your idiotic plan to avoid Steve. "Thor!"
Thor guffawed, lifting you off the ground, shouting your name in glee before letting you breathe again. "My favorite avenger! Miss me?"
"Duh." you responded, glancing at Loki, who had magically changed into an all-black suit, his shoulder length raven-colored hair slicked back. His eyes narrowed slightly at the team who had defeated him. He looked even better in person. "So, that's Loki."
Natasha spoke up before either Asgardian could. She stepped closer, observing him with you. "Not sure. He isn't as smug as before—"
"And he's missing those horrendous reindeer horns he was wearing." Clint chimed in, crossing his arms. His hate for Loki—which had increased when he found out the man who once controlled him was coming to the team—was almost as deep as Steve's. "He looks like a witch in that black suit."
Thor snickered, releasing Loki from the handcuffs that held him. "As you all know, my adopted brother's punishment from Father is to help Earth's Mightiest Heroes. Loki understands all the rules, and he will so follow them accordingly. Isn't that right, brother?"
Loki rolled his eyes, sighing before reluctantly nodding. "Yes, I will."
"Let me make this clear, Loki." Steve stepped up, Sharon right behind him, face composed. You had to fight the urge to roll your eyes at the couple. "If you break one rule, no matter how small, you will be sent back to Asgard and face Odin's alternate punishment. Just so you're clear, we won't hesitate to send you back."
The God of Mischief smirked, feeling smug knowing he could push the super soldier's buttons. "Of course, Captain. I wouldn't dream of breaking the rules enforced."
Everyone could sense the sarcasm and mockery in his voice, all of them tensing. Thor sighed, clapping his brother on the back, the force making Loki take a steps forward. "Come on, brother. I'll show you your quarters before you get punched by Lady Natasha."
Without waiting for Loki to answer, Thor practically pulled Loki's arm off, pulling him towards the building, crossing the ruined lawn that Tony would bitch about later. Everyone followed them, staying a few feet back, wary of the new team member. You noticed Steve stealing glances at you, quickly moving away from Sharon's side and made his way to you.
Without being too obvious, you squeezed your way between Bruce and Natasha, snaking your arms between there's, hoping it would give Steve the impression not to talk to you. Ever. Natasha threw you a sympathetic smile, squeezing your wrist while Bruce raised an eyebrow, clearly confused.
Thor continued talking about the new compound, leading his brother to the entrance while pointing out installments that would've seemed impressive to a simple "midgardian."
He might've unconsciously murdered people but he kinda thicc.
At that exact moment, Loki turned around, his piercing blue eyes meeting yours. His smirk grew, glancing between you and Steve before turning back. It had been so quick that you weren't sure it even happened. The group scattered as soon as they stepped a foot inside; Bruce heading to the lab, Steve following him while Sharon split and headed up to Medbay, Natasha hitting the gym with Clint, leaving you alone with Thor and Loki.
Unfortunately, Thor's room had been across yours, the empty room next to yours becoming Loki's so both a spy and a god could keep an eye on the trickster. Both Tony and Steve had fought on that, Steve concerned about your safety while Tony argued back, telling him you could keep yourself safe. If not, Thor was there. That had angered you; Steve didn't think you were capable of fighting off Loki if it came to it, and that made you roll your eyes at him, exiting the room.
"...and this will be your quarters. Decorate it any way you want, just no magic." Thor continued, reaching the area of your rooms. It was a big arc, the area looking like a semi-circle with three doors spaced evenly out. "My chambers is across Lady Y/N's, so we won't have any problems. She's a smart one, brother. Anything else to add, Sunshine?"
You ignored the nickname, eyes narrowing at the black-suited man. "There's a party tonight 'celebrating' the addition to the team. It starts at 8 so don't be late or else Tony will have your head. Also, if you wake me up before seven in the morning, watch your back 'cause I hold grudges."
Giving Thor a smile, you head to your room, closing the door with a sigh. On the other side, you heard Loki chuckle once. "I like her."
"She's serious. She almost ripped my heart out the one time I accidentally woke her from her slumber." Thor added, the clap on his brother's back loud. "Get ready for the party, Loki."
Loki had been forced in his room by his brother, the door closing after him. He listened carefully, hearing you plop on your bed. He bit back a smirk, a plan unfolding in his brain. With a swift gesture of a finger, the room had been decorated, the hideous white theme changing into an exact copy of Loki's bedroom in Asgard.
The day went by fast as you wasted it away planning the party with Tony, who had, in no way, helped. You had ran off to your room once the people Tony had hired came, setting up everything in the main room. As you walked to the three-bedroom wing, you saw Steve rocking back and forth in front of your door, his hands in his pocket while Thor gushed about his flying hammer.
Relief washed over his face as soon as he spotted you, and you almost turned around, wishing you had gone to Natasha's room to get ready.
Steve called out your name, abruptly ending his conversation with Thor. As you walked closer, you could see the concern etched on his face. "Hey, are you okay?"
Thor watched your reaction, your face fighting the urge to make a face at America's sweetheart. Maneuvering your body, you slid between the two men to get to your room. "I'm fun-fucking-tastic. Thor, remind Loki about the party. I didn't spend the whole day with Tony for Loki to miss his own party."
"I'll be there, darling." Loki chimed in, his head poking out of his bedroom. Everyone turned to look at him, seeing the not-so-subtle wink he gave you.
Ignoring Steve's clenched fists, you moved past them, entering your room. Before closing the door, you said, "Tony requests the presence of all three of you, by the way. There's no way you're getting out of this. See you at 8!"
With a sighed of relief, you closed the door in Steve's face, the loud slam cutting off whatever he was about to interject. He could talk to Sharon about whatever shit he was dealing with, the girl he chose. You were no longer someone he could vent to after the shit he pulled, leading you on before leaving for Sharon Carter. It was then that you came to the decision to not love so easily.
Getting ready for the party took longer than you thought it would, the hot shower burning your skin to the point your skin started to redden. Your mind wandered to Loki, curios about the wink. Maybe it was his way of messing with people, a loophole that had not been included in the agreement. Realizing how inappropriate it was to think about the God while showering, you quickly turned the water off and stepped out.
Knowing Natasha, she's be disappointed if you didn't dress up like your inner slut, the one that got fucked up in Tokyo, and the petty hoe who would do everything to make Steve Rogers regret his decision. Well, you weren't going to let your sestra down.
The sultry, tight red dress was almost too short to be considered decent. With it's low cropped top, your tits we're begging for attention, the bra non-existent. Your new motto: protect the city, free the titties. The matching red stilettos would've been a pain if you hadn't started wearing them so early in your life. You let your hair down, running hand through it before slapping some natural makeup on your face, trying not to look desperate for attention.
It was around 8:15 when you finally finished, already exhausted by the amount of work you had to put on for others, but mostly for yourself. Either Tony or Natasha would come barreling through your door if you were going to be any later. Rushing, you took a quick look in the mirror before opening your door, nearly bumping into the God of Mischief.
He was dressed in a black buttoned-downed dress shirt with matching dress pants. Like before, his hair was slicked back, the shoulder length, raven hair looking silky and sexy. You both eye each other, eyes appreciating the sight in front of them. It wasn't until you finally met his eyes that he cleared his throat, a smug smile covering half his face.
"Would you mind accompanying me to the party, Lady Y/N? My brother is an idiot and cannot give a proper tour with his minuscule organ that he calls a brain. As of that, I do not know where this celebration is held." Loki explained, holding out his arm, waiting for you to take it. He raised an eyebrow while you hesitated. "If not, I could just follow you and everyone would assume I'm planning to have your head."
"Jesus Christ, you and Thor are so fucking dramatic." you grumbled, taking Loki's arm, your arm snaking around his. "Must run in the family, huh?"
"I'm adopted."
"I don't care."
Loki darkly chuckled, feeling your warm body against his, letting himself grow closer, enough that he could feel more of you but not enough that you would've noticed. "I sincerely hope you don't take this the wrong way, but you look rather ravishing, darling."
"Have you ever thought of cutting your hair?" you replied, loving the way Loki's smug expression wavered—probably expecting a compliment—before composing himself. "You'd look less like Johnny Depp from Pirates of the Caribbean."
"I don't understand." Loki said, leading you towards the elevator. For someone who claimed they didn't know where they were headed, he had the sense of knowing where everything was.
You waved the pop culture reference away, pushing the elevator button. "You wouldn't. Is Thor already at the party?"
"I'm quite positive."
The rest of the walk to the main room was quiet, neither of you making small talk as you led him. More like, he led you. You were suspicious he had stayed back and faked not knowing the compound in order to mess with you. But you waved that thought away, focus on getting distracting yourself from Steve.
You could hear the party before seeing it, the big room had been half full, not too much, not too little, yet you had been surprised considering how extra Tony could be. Letting go of Loki's arm, you walked to the bar where Natasha was sipping a glass of whiskey, ignoring the rest of the party. She pulled out a bottle of gin as you arrived, raising an eyebrow at your accompanied date.
"Before you say anything, he didn't know where the party was so he asked me to guide him. Nicely if I might add." you said, pushing back the bottle, settling on a bottle of water instead.
Natasha smirked, watching Loki interact with his brother, a frown deepening on his face. "He knows where everything is, Thor gave him the whole tour while you were with Tony. Can't believe you took the bait."
"Ugh." you grumbled, wishing you could forget about tomorrow and drown your problems in alcohol but the last hangover nearly killed you.
"Stevie doesn't look to happy with you showing up with Loki." Natasha noticed, the smirk widening as she watched Steve's glare grew more lethal as Loki's grin got bigger. "This is so much better than America's Next Top Models fails. Do you wanna bet that one of them will punch the other before the party is over?"
"Daddy, chill." you mimicked, turning to see how enraged old Capsicle is. But with the blonde besides him, looking up him in both wonder and worry, he had no right to be angry at Loki for attending a party that had been thrown for him, despite the many people he murdered—while being controlled. "He can't seriously still be sour about Loki joining."
The redhead giggled, a little drunk from the amount of alcohol she already consumed. "I don't think that's what he's so broody about, not anymore at least. He was smiling until he saw you on Loki's arm."
"Ain't my fault he chose Peggy's niece over me, meaning he doesn't get to be jealous whether Loki is my date or a walker for these killer stilettos." you muttered, secretly loving and hating the jealousy that oozed out of Steve Rogers. Even his blonde date had noticed. "Look at these heels, aren't they gorgeous?"
"Almost as gorgeous as you." Natasha replied, winking just before she drowned the rest of her drink. She winced a little at the taste.
"How many of those have you had?" you wondered, eyeing the spy. After the worst hangover of both your lives, Natasha had made you swear to never let her get that drunk again. Although with the rate she was going, you feared you had been too late.
She shrugged, taking your bottle of water. "Four. Oh, look, here comes Steve."
Before you could ditch, Steve leaned against the counter, his blue buttoned down shirt matching his blue eyes. Natasha not-so-subtly walked to the other side of the bar, motioning for Bruce to keep her company, although knowing her, she'd listen to every word.
"Rogers," you greeted coldly, looking everywhere but him. He tensed at your cold greeting, the frown looking permanently pressed on his face. "Enjoying the party?"
"Yeah."
Lie.
"Good."
You sat there for a good two minutes before he cleared his throat, shifting his weight nervously from one foot onto the other. Steve coughed in his fist. "So...living near Loki isn't too much trouble, is it? He causing any trouble, yet?"
"Sweet as an angel." you replied sarcastically, wishing you were anywhere but here. Loki caught your eye, raising a hand to wave and the group that had been brave enough to be near him, gasped in shock, the noises audible across the room. Their reactions made you chuckle.
Steve cleared his throat, this time louder. "Would you like to dance?"
"Ask your girlfriend." you fired back, satisfied by the hurt on his face. After the stunt he pulled, leading you on only to stomp of your heart, you wanted to be selfish and make him suffer just a little bit. Thankful, Loki came to your rescue.
Ignoring Steve, he held out his arm once again, a smile playing on his lips as he took in the tense situation between you and Steve. But before he could utter a single word, Sharon decided it was the perfect time to come looking for Steve. She assessed the situation, awkwardly noting Loki's presence.
"Er, hello." Sharon said, standing in false bravery. She wouldn't admit it, but she was afraid of the God of Mischief.
Loki gave her a curt nod and held out a hand to you instead, easily fitting yours in his. He murmured your name, softly kissing your knuckles. "Would you like to dance? This is the first song that came on that has not made me want to tear my ears off."
"Why, yes, I would." you agreed with a grin, moving your body close to Loki as you reached the unofficial dance floor, everyone's eyes on the both of you, with shock and slight fear. You would've cackled at their reactions—and it looked like Loki wanted to, too—if you hadn't been raised with manners. "Thank you."
Loki raised an eyebrow, surprised by the words. "For what, if I may ask?"
"Saving me back there. I don't need that kind of drama in my life. Not anymore." you explained, drinking in the warmth of his arm wrapping around your waist as you both slowly swayed to the slow song.
The raven-haired God smiled—not the smug smirk he wore, but a genuine one that Thor hadn't seen his brother wear for a few years now. "My pleasure. A lady like you deserves someone who'll give her his undivided attention. Any suitor would be lucky to have a tenth of your attention."
A coping mechanism: you rolled your eyes but you couldn't help the small smile that forced itself on you lips. You bit it back, hoping no one had noticed.
Loki had. And he meant every word he said.
By the end of the night, you found yourself naked, against the wall and legs wrapped around Loki's waist. Lips crashed against one another, soft kisses trailing down necks, leaving little love marks that would surely be dark. But at the moment, you didn't care. Not when Loki whispered sweet nothings in your ear as he took you from behind, above, underneath, and even on the side. You had both been teasing each other at the party and now you had given in, no matter the consequences.
Annoyed Steve had missed the date he had asked you on, you walked up to his room, heels clicking. You had waited for him for over two hours, texted him and getting no replies, leaving the restaurant with the humiliation of being stood up.
But as you neared his door, you heard crying. But it wasn't Steve. Peeking inside, you saw Sharon. Pretty, talented Sharon. Her eyes were red, tears steaming down her cheeks while Steve hugged her shoulders, resting his chin on her head as he comforted her. Jealousy and hurt knocked the breath out of you.
You waited.
And waited.
And it happened. Leaning in slowly, he kissed her. Softly, like he had kissed you. And she kissed him back, finding comfort in the kiss.
Heart breaking in two, you left, leaving the door open. The couple broke their kiss long enough to see you walk away through the slit of the door. Steve hung just head, feeling terrible. But Sharon had helped him as he had. This time, they hadn't stopped at kissing, forgetting the girl who had her heart broken by the man who claimed he would never hurt her.
Steve knew it was over between you two, but he could focus his attention on caring as much as he wanted to when Sharon kept kissing him. He did try to apologize only to learn you had went to visit Thor in Asgard, leaving him to feel sorry for himself and his decisions. Yet, he still found temporary comfort in Sharon's arms.
You woke to the warmth of Loki's arms around you. Opening your eyes, you found yourself tangled limbs with the God of Lies, your hair a mess, a hand over his chest and a leg over his waist. Your cheek rested on the crook of his neck, fitting perfectly as if he was made for you.
"Good morning." Loki whispered, stroking your hair with one hand, the other softly massaging your thigh. "Sleep well?"
Nuzzling into his neck, you snorted at the irony. "Don't know, considering we didn't do much sleeping."
Loki chuckled, pressing a soft kiss on your head. "Touché. It would only be fair of me to apologize for the love marks I left on your soft skin last night. Forgive me but I could not help myself."
Gasping, you jumped up, looking at the vanity mirror across your bed to find your collarbone, neck, and the top of your breast covered in Loki's hickeys. He looked rather proud of himself than sorry. "Loki!"
"Please note my apologies are genuine when they are directed towards you. Although, I have to admit, I'm quite proud of myself. It's my best art." Loki announced, bringing himself up on his elbows, eyes ravaging your naked flesh, littered with his marks.
Noticing the difference between your bodies, you quickly turned around to see the reflections had been right; Loki's body remained unmarked. "I swear to god I left hickeys and bite marks all over you last night."
"You tried but got rather mad when my skin healed itself." Loki explained, pulling you back in his warm arms. The soft gesture surprised you, the whole situation coming into light. You had slept with Thor's murderous brother. Loki read your thoughts. "Don't be like that, love. What what I can remember, you enjoyed yourself last night quite immensely. If it will make you feel better, I can show all the love bites you made the night before."
Thankful you hadn't drank anything last night, you had been so happy to not wake up with a hangover and Loki. Turning to face him, you raise an eyebrow. "What?"
With a smirk, his chest gleamed green for a second before it uncovered layers and layers of hickeys, and reddening bite marks. It was identical to yours. You gasped in shocked while Loki stared at you in amusement, his arms tightening. "You did a little bit of damage. I'm proud."
"Holy shit—" you were cut off by Thor and Steve bursting into your room, the sudden motion making you cover up your naked chest with a shriek. The two men's jaws dropped as they took in the scene, Loki's bare chest covered with the evidence from last night, his arms wrapped around you while you stared at them with wide eyes. "Knock, goddamnit!"
Both of them stood in silence, their brains not processing what was in front of them. Steve's eyes had mirrored yours from when you caught him kissing Sharon, eyes watering, you could see his heart breaking just by making eye contact. But at that moment, you couldn't find yourself to care, not with Loki's arms around you.
"What—" Thor began.
Loki smirked, kissing your bare shoulder. "Hello, brother."
next >
535 notes · View notes
ayybtch · 4 years ago
Text
The One
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Pairing: Bucky Barnes x f!Reader
Summary: Things are going up and down for you as you try to navigate life after your breakup with Bucky. Everything leads to an accidental run-in with him at a coffee shop that leaves you and Bucky wondering if things could have been different. Based on the song The 1 by Taylor Swift.
Warnings: This is an angsty fic. The reader is actively struggling with mental illness and a breakup. There are mentions of being on antidepressants and symptoms such as anxiety, insomnia, and sometimes not having the energy for personal care, but nothing in-depth.
Word Count: 11,261
A/N: I owe a very special thank you to @borkingbarnes​, who has supportively been screaming at me for writing this ever since I told her this idea and gave me some brilliant suggestions during her beta read. The dividers were made by the lovely @whimsicalrogers​.
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“So, how have the new meds been treating you? Are they still making you nauseous after you first take them?”
You looked across the room at your therapist and shook your head, “No, they’re not making me nauseous anymore. I’ve been making sure that I’ve got food in my stomach first and not just a cup of coffee. I’ve also been better about taking them at the same time each day,” you said.
She smiled at you. “Do you feel like they’ve been helping?”
You shrugged and offered a half-smile back. Not satisfied with your answer, she continued probing. “Well, do you feel like you have more energy than on the other meds? Are you sleeping more….?” She trailed off at the end, voice hopeful.
“Oh. Yeah, I have been sleeping a little better. I’ve been sleeping closer to 5 hours each night, though it’s still taking a really long time for me to fall asleep. I’ve had more energy but I don’t know if that’s because of the meds or the sleep?” You trailed off a bit at the end, unsure of if that truly answered her question.
“It could be a mix of both. I’m glad to hear you’re sleeping more though, you weren’t getting very much when you first started seeing me.” She offered you another smile before adjusting herself in her seat and continuing, “Now, what have you been doing with this extra energy? Any new hobbies, catching up with friends, going on dates, anything like that?”
You shook your head no. “I don’t have much of a friend group anymore, not since…” your voice faded before the sentence finished. You closed your eyes and shook your head slightly. Pull yourself together. “I am meeting Natasha after this, actually. She and I were friends before everything and she’s the only one that’s really stuck around since. It’s been about a month since I last saw her so I’m looking forward to seeing her.” The therapist nodded and offered a sympathetic smile that made your stomach turn. You decided to continue before she chimed in.
“I’m running again too. I used to go on a nightly run before things got bad. It’s not for as long or as far as I used to but it’s better than sitting on the couch, I guess.”
She nodded and began writing on her notepad, “That’s wonderful. What do you enjoy about your runs?”
Her question was unexpected and it took you a minute to answer. “It’s peaceful. It’s one of the few times I can shut my brain off and zone out. Though, if it’s a bad day it doesn't always work.”
She nodded and paused, as if trying to carefully choose her next words. “One thing I’ve noticed whenever stuff comes up is that you always talk about ‘before’, but what about the ‘after’? Have you thought about trying to get back out there and start your ‘after’?” An uncomfortable knot formed in your stomach as she spoke.
“I don’t think I’m ready for that yet,” you whispered.
She pursed her lips but didn’t say anything. Eventually, she nodded and continued to make notes.
                                         ***
The session continued for another half hour before it ended with a smile and a brief conversation with her secretary, confirming your appointment for the same time next week.
As you stepped out the door, you let out a sigh of relief. Therapy sessions were hard. Even though today’s session had been relatively mild, the process was still draining and left you feeling exhausted most days. It really helped though and making the decision to go was one of the best decisions you could have made for yourself. A smile settled on your face as you pulled your jacket tighter across your chest before beginning your walk to meet Natasha.
You had discovered soon after starting therapy that walking to and from the appointment gave you the time you needed to prepare yourself for the session and unwind after. The hustle and bustle of New York created the perfect background noise for you to organize your thoughts. Most days it helped you process the questions the therapist asked. Often, you answered them a little deeper than what you had in the session knowing that nobody would know the real answer except for you.
Guilt gnawed at you as you thought about it. Wasn’t the whole point of therapy to be honest? Were you still getting as much out of it as you could if you were completely honest? You shook your head and sighed. Sometimes there were things better left unsaid.
One of the many things that had been left unsaid had to do with what you missed most about being with him. You had shrugged it off when she asked, saying it was nice having a person around because it was less lonely. While true, the full answer was more painful than you felt comfortable admitting out loud. He had understood you in ways nobody else ever had and nobody else ever would again. It gave you the freedom to be unapologetically you every second of the day. The thought of not being known like that again and having to put on a facade felt like the loneliest existence the universe had to offer. It made your chest ache.
Today though, it gave you the chance to collect your thoughts before Natasha had the opportunity to interrogate you. To be fair, it wasn’t really an interrogation. She was far too gentle when she asked you questions, though you’re sure that’s one of the many techniques she chose from. Interrogation or not though, she would be watching you like a hawk the entire meal to make sure you were actually doing as well as you were claiming.
It wasn’t long before you were standing outside Natasha’s favorite Italian restaurant. She always recommended meeting up here purely because of the breadsticks. She swore they were the best in New York and ate at least three full baskets by herself each visit. You paused before entering, suddenly nervous about how it would go. There’s nothing to worry about, Natasha isn’t going to bring him up and isn’t going to push me past my boundaries. You weren’t quite as convinced as you would have liked to be, but you couldn’t delay it any longer as you stepped inside.
A blast of warm air surrounded you as you were greeted by the hostess. It didn’t take for her to lead you back to where Natasha was sitting, a glass of wine already in her hand. A second sat waiting on the table for you.
You walked over, bending down to give her a side hug and a peck on the cheek.
“You’re late,” she said reproachfully, eyes zeroed in on yours.
“I know, I’m sorry. My session went a little over today.” You pulled out your chair and sat down before continuing, “How are you? It’s good to see you.”
Natasha smiled brightly. “I’ve been good. I’ve been really looking forward to this, I was so happy when you said yes. It feels like it’s been years since I’ve seen you.” You grinned slightly and she continued. “I’m sorry that it’s been so long since we’ve had a chance to catch up. Work has been keeping me even busier than usual. Stark has been working on all sorts of new tech developments and has somehow recruited me for testing.”
You nodded as you took a sip of your wine, “Nothing he’s made has killed you yet. That’s impressive.”
She snorted, “He’s lucky I didn’t flat out say no. His last update to the Falcon wings sent Wilson through the ceiling and landed him in the medbay for three days with a concussion.” Natasha noticed the look of concern on your face and waved her hand as she sipped on her wine. “He’s fine, don’t worry. All of the Avengers men have skulls harder than concrete.” The two of you burst into laughter at the thought.
A waiter arrived as your laughter died down to take your orders and to refill Natasha’s wine glass. You both thanked him as he turned to walk away. A quiet settled over the table and Natasha’s gaze landed firmly on you.
“So how have you been?” she asked softly, voice far gentler than anyone would expect from a former assassin. You shrugged and avoided eye contact.
“Some days are better than others,” you said, “Overall things are better than they’ve been for a while now though. My shrink has me on some new meds that seem to be helping and I’ve been working harder on doing little things to take care of myself every day, not just the good days.”
Natasha nodded, eyes still fixed on you. Slowly, she reached a hand out across the table and placed it on top of yours. “You know I’m always here for you, right? You can call me any time of day and as long as I’m not on a mission, I can be at your apartment within the hour.”
You felt a lump form in your throat at her words. You nodded quickly, eyes blinking fast to try and keep the tears that were welling up from falling. She gave your hand a quick squeeze before pulling back.
“Now where the hell are our breadsticks? This is going to be a failed meal if I have less than twelve in me before the main dish arrives.” Her words made you burst out laughing once again and succeeded in putting a smile on your face for the remainder of the meal.
                                        ***
“Are you sure I can’t drive you back to your apartment?” Natasha asked, wrapping her scarf around her neck as the two of you stepped out of the restaurant. You nodded at her and smiled.
“I enjoy walking, it clears my mind,” you said. She let out a disapproving hum but didn’t argue further. She pulled you into a bone-crushing hug before turning and walking towards where her car was parked. You watched as she stepped in and waved as she pulled out of the parking lot. You stood and watched until her car was out of sight before turning to start the walk home.
As it was on the walk to the restaurant, the busy streets provided the perfect background noise needed for you to quiet your mind. You focused on your breathing, allowing yourself to try and channel any residual nervous energy outward. With each breath, the faces passing by began to blur. Neon signs hanging in the windows of the shops you passed by became nothing more than a gentle glow in your peripheral. With each step you took, the background seamlessly blended together more and your focus on yourself heightened. A sense of calm settled itself in your chest. The feeling grew stronger with each block you passed until a small smile made its way onto your face. That feeling ended abruptly as you turned around the next block.  
There was a large crowd waiting at the bus stop, but your eyes focused on one man. You stared at his silhouette, panic building with each second. It felt like the wind had been knocked out of you and your feet had magically turned into cinder blocks. Is that...? No, it couldn’t be…
Almost as if he heard your thoughts, the man turned slightly so you could see his face, and a sigh of relief left you. You stood there a moment longer to examine his side profile. It wasn’t him; he just happened to look like him. He was about the same height and weight, with similar chocolate waves. Your eyes landed on his light brown leather jacket and a lump formed in your throat. He had worn a similar jacket the day you met. It felt like being thrown back in time as you continued to stare at the man in front of you.
Natasha drug you through a hallway, not caring about your protests to slow down. “I have someone I want you to meet.” She smirked as she spoke, leaving you to wonder what she was plotting.
A group of choices greeted the two of you as you entered the room. You waved at Steve and Sharon sitting on the couch as Natasha continued to pull you across the room to where two men were standing. One of the men was Sam, whom you had met the last time Natasha brought you to the compound. The other was Bucky Barnes. You hadn’t met him before but you knew who he was. It was impossible not to given how public everything about Hydra had become.
“Barnes, I have someone I’d like you to meet,” Natasha said, turning slightly towards you.
Bucky turned to look at you, offering a charming smile as he held out his hand. “Nice to meet you, ma’am. I’m Bucky.”
You shook his hand and introduced yourself, hoping to god you didn’t look as flustered as you felt. The pictures of him floating around on the news did not do him justice. Bucky was absolutely breathtaking. His smile lit up his eyes in a way no camera could ever hope to capture. His hair was cropped just above his shoulders, falling into a beautiful wavy pattern. You realized you were staring and felt your face get hot.
“Uh, I like your jacket,” you mumbled, hoping he hadn’t realized you were staring. The leather jacket was a beautiful light brown. It looked old, but well loved at the same time.
He smiled widely at you, “Thanks! Leather jackets are kind of my thing. Sam here thinks I have too many but there’s no such thing as too many leather jackets, wouldn’t you agree?”
As the memory floated away, you couldn’t help but think how Bucky probably would’ve gone up to the man to ask about his jacket. You chuckled at the thought. As soon as he walked away, he would’ve immediately started looking up where he could find one for his own closet. It didn’t matter how many leather jackets he had. He always wanted more.
The chuckle died on your lips and was replaced by an uncomfortable knot settling in your stomach. A heavy weight fell on your chest and you forced yourself to find the energy to trudge forward.
The remainder of the walk was a blur, but not in the same way it had been before. This wasn’t the good kind of blur that helped you to focus. It was the kind that left you feeling suffocated and as if everything would come crashing down all at once. That had been the first happy thought about Bucky since the two of you broke up. His presence in your thoughts was so strong, he might as well have been walking right next to you. You could practically feel his knuckles brushing against yours with each step you took. If you closed your eyes, you swore you could smell his cologne.
The harsh reality of how alone you were hit you as the greeting from your apartment’s doorman pulled you from your thoughts. You shot him a small smile before rushing inside and all but sprinting up the stairs. Your hands shook as you unlocked the door to your apartment, though you couldn't tell if it was from your thoughts of Bucky or from the sudden burst of energy that left you slightly winded.
Once inside, you rushed to your bedroom and changed into the first sports bra and pair of leggings you saw. You needed to get Bucky off your mind and the only way you knew how was to run. It was going to be a long run tonight.
The doorman waved at you again as you exited the building, surprised to see you again so soon. “Someone is feeling motivated today I see,” he joked. You shrugged and slowly began to jog.
                                        ***
It took a while to get into your groove, but once you were there you felt good. The movement helped settle the anxious energy that had been building since you had seen the man at the bus stop, while the steady breathing brought your focus back to the here and now just like it had before. That’s something else to mention if she asks about my runs again, you thought.  These runs bring my focus to this exact moment in time.
That thought was lost as you passed a small, hole in the wall theater. Small groups were exiting the building, each talking excitedly amongst themselves about the movie that had just finished. The nauseous feeling from earlier came back as memories resurfaced. That was Bucky’s favorite movie theater. Every Sunday they played movies from the 1920s and 1930s. He used to drag you along with him whenever he saw one he remembered from his childhood. Each time he swore up and down that you were about to experience a cinematic masterpiece like no other and that it would change the way you looked at movies. You always rolled your eyes as he said it, but the magic you felt in that theater with him was like no other.
Movies made back then were so different from the movies made now. The characters felt so much more real. They were allowed to be people. Their faults and flaws didn’t take away from the good things about them. These films never failed to make you feel all of the emotions you were meant to feel and each time you exited the theater, you couldn’t help but wish you could’ve remained in that little bubble just a few minutes longer. Those bittersweet feelings about the ending never lasted long though, as Bucky would wrap his arm around your shoulder and proceed to talk your ear off about the movie until you made it home.
“You know Doll, the greatest films of all time were never made,” he said, smiling down at you.
You just laughed and shook your head.“Bucky that makes absolutely no sense.”
Bucky rolled his eyes dramatically, making you laugh again. “Think about it though, how many movies haven’t been made because someone decided they weren’t good enough for the big screen? How many stories have been brought into existence but never been told to another living soul?”
A car horn brought you back into reality. Bitterness crept into your chest as you processed the memory that had just played out picture-perfect in your mind. Those afternoons with him in the theater had been some of the best afternoons of your life. Even if you weren’t crazy about the movie, Bucky’s sheer excitement about it was enough to convince you of how wonderful it truly was. If only he had felt that same amount of joy in other areas of your relationship.
Your bitterness slowly began to turn to anger as you thought about the last few months of being with Bucky. Sunday matinees had stopped being a regular thing as Bucky’s work schedule picked up until they stopped happening entirely. His new position training new SHIELD agents and prospective new members to the Avenger ate away at his time. All of his time. It got to the point Bucky never stopped working. Even at home, his thoughts were on paperwork to be filed, training to be planned, or meetings to be run. You’d be sitting on the couch next to him trying to talk only to receive disinterested “hmms” or the occasional “That’s nice honey.”
You tried bringing it up to no avail. He always brushed it off and said things would calm down eventually and that he just needed you to hold out a bit longer. He never outright said his work was more important to him but the implication was there and you felt the weight of it every single day. You bit your tongue and played along for a while, but after several months of hearing the same excuses, you finally snapped. Unfortunately, so did Bucky.
“All you ever do is work. I can’t remember the last time we went and did something together. Hell, I can’t even remember the last time you cared enough to even ask me about my day. It’s like you don’t even want me around anymore,” you hissed, glaring at Bucky.
“Excuse me for caring about my fucking job. One of us has to if we’re going to continue affording this place,” he scoffed.
Ice filled your veins as you stared at him, fist clenched at your side. “And what is that supposed to mean?”
“Oh come on, we both know you’re barely getting your work done on time. You lay here on the couch all day watching TV. You’re lucky you’re allowed to work from home because you look like a walking disaster half the time. You’ve stopped wearing clean clothes, you hardly shower, you hardly eat, and you hardly sleep. Face it, you’re depressed.” His voice was flat as he spoke.
You furiously blinked back tears that were trying to well up as you processed his words. “First of all, I am not depressed,” you muttered, “Second, if I’m such a walking disaster then what are you even still doing here?”
“I am still here because I care about you. I have lost track of how many times I have asked you to get help. I’ve been where you are, I know what you’re going through and I know what it takes to come back from it. If you never bleed, you’re never going to grow. If you can’t move past this, then we -” he paused to motion between the two of you “- can’t move past this.” His eyes never left yours as he spoke. There was no malice in them, but there was also none of the kindness or warmth you wished for. His gaze just felt indifferent.  
You remained silent as you tried to find words. Bucky continued watching you, waiting expectantly for a response. A response never came, however, and he let out a loud sigh.
“If you don’t have anything to say to that, then I think we’re done here. I can’t keep doing this anymore. I love you, but neither of us is happy. I can’t give you what you want and you can’t give me what I need,” Without another word, Bucky grabbed his coat and walked out the front door of the apartment.
That was the last time that you saw Bucky. He had sent you a text a few days later asking when a good time to come pick up his stuff would be. You responded begrudgingly, telling yourself that the sooner his stuff was gone the sooner your life could get back to normal. When the day came, you forced yourself to get out of the apartment. The thought of seeing him after what went down between you left you seeing red. When you finally went back after he left, you felt none of the happy emotions you had convinced yourself you would feel.
Instead, you felt the empty spots in the room. Every missing item you noticed felt like a blow to the stomach and caused fresh tears to well up in your eyes. Pictures were no longer hanging from the walls; random gaps were in the bookshelves; his leather jacket was no longer slung across the back of the chair he loved in the living room. You stumbled back to your room with your eyes closed, refusing to see what other memories had been ripped from their rightful homes. Once there, you collapsed on the bed and laid there for two days. It wasn’t until Natasha broke into your apartment to check on you after countless missed calls and ignored texts that you finally moved from that spot.
For the millionth time that day, your stomach twisted as thoughts of Bucky floated around in your head. Despite it all, you regretted not being there when he came to get his things. There was never a proper goodbye between you and the thought drove you mad sometimes. Maybe if I had been there, we could’ve worked this out. You scoffed at the thought, but couldn’t deny the heaviness lingering in your chest.
At times you considered reaching out to him, wondering if he would be willing to give you the closure you so desperately needed. Even if it was just over text, it might be better than the nothing you currently had. You still had his number. The two of you even still followed each other on social media. He liked what few posts you made, but you had never been able to bring yourself to look at the stuff he posted. The lines of communication were there, you just had to use them. But communication is a two-way street; if he wanted to talk to you, he’d reach out. Right? That thought had kept you from texting him more times than you could possibly count.
Questions about what could have happened that day swirled throughout your head as your feet pounded against the pavement. Could you have fixed things, or would it still have ended in breaking up? Could you have agreed to still be friends? Would you have at least been able to say goodbye, or would he have walked silently out the door again?
The thoughts continued to plague you until the ache in your legs was too strong to take another step. Out of breath, you looked around at where you stopped trying to figure out how far you had run. It wasn’t until you noticed the fountain about a dozen feet behind you that you realized where you were.
Tony had once rented out a plaza nearby for a 1920s themed fundraiser gala the first year you and Bucky were dating. The gala was the first public event you ever attended with him, though it certainly hadn’t been your last. Natasha had taken you shopping and helped you find a flapper-style dress leading up to it. The two of you did your hair and makeup together, giggling about how you felt like you were getting ready for a high school dance. When you stepped out of the room with Natasha, Bucky wasn’t able to speak. He spent the whole night staring at you like a lovestruck teenager, only to turn bright red whenever someone mentioned it.
Towards the end of the night, you and Bucky had drunkenly stumbled out of the plaza to escape the crowd and found your way over to this fountain. Rather, you had stumbled out drunkenly. Bucky wasn’t affected by human alcohol and hardly had any of the Asgardian mead Thor had so generously brought. While he was a little more cheery than usual, he wasn’t intoxicated enough to even pretend like he was tipsy.
A giggle left your lips as you stumbled forward. “Bucky, I need to find somewhere to sit down. I need to take off my heels.”
Bucky laughed at you and picked you up, carrying you bridal style. He spun around slowly as he searched for somewhere he could set you down. His eyes eventually settled on the fountain and began walking towards it. He carefully set you down before sitting down next to you. His eyes were fixed on you as you took off your shoes, a sigh of relief leaving your mouth as you did. You smiled over at him, before turning around to stare at the fountain in wonder. A giggle left your lips as you pulled up your dress and began walking around in the fountain.
You laughed any time you went through a jet of water. The temperature difference was soothing against your skin and almost left a tickling sensation as you passed. Eventually, you arrived back at where he was sitting and the smile on his face filled your stomach with butterflies. You bent down slightly to press your lips against his, your hands making their way through his hair. His hands landed on your hips and pulled you closer to him. You felt dizzy as he held you, though you weren’t sure if it was him or the glasses of champagne. You pulled away abruptly as an idea struck you, leading to Bucky’s eyes opening in confusion. His gaze fell upon the mischievous look you wore and he opened his mouth to speak. Before he managed to make a sound, your hands left his hair and were reaching down to splash water onto him.
He tried to catch your hands to stop you, but you stepped back just out of reach, but not far enough you couldn’t keep splashing him. Without a word, he reached down to take off his shoes and socks. A gasp left you as he stepped into the fountain and you rushed to hide behind the fountain’s centerpiece. He chased after you, hands eventually catching your waist and spinning you around to face him. He stared down at you, wonder and adoration written on his face. He slowly leaned forward to press his lips against yours.
The dizzy feeling from before came back, though this time you could say with absolute certainty it was because of the man standing in front of you. His lips were so soft against yours, yet still carried such a force they left you breathless. Fireworks had nothing on how he made you feel. No words could ever hope to describe the love and adoration bursting in your chest.
This time, he was the one to pull back first. He moved his lips up slightly, pressing a kiss to your nose and your forehead before leaning his head against yours. “Would you like to dance?”
You nodded and the two of you began to slow dance in the fountain. You don’t know how long you were in the fountain dancing; it felt like eternity paused to give you and your love all the time the universe had to give so you could enjoy this moment a little longer. The only sensations tying you to reality were Bucky’s warmth and the cool water moving at your feet as Bucky spun you around. You pulled away slightly and smiled at him. “We should make a wish,” you said.
Bucky looked at you with confusion. “A wish?”
You nodded, a small smile filling your face, “You know, toss some coins into the fountain and make a wish as we do.”
The laugh that left his lips made your heart flutter. “I don’t think this is a wishing-well. Although -” he paused to laugh again, “-I hardly think they meant for anyone to dance around in it either, so why not.” One of his hands left yours and reached into his pocket, looking for his wallet. He opened it and pulled out two pennies and handed one to you. “It looks like we only get one wish each tonight, so we’d better make it a good one.”
You stared down at the penny in your hand, wondering what wish could possibly be better than the night you were currently having with Bucky. The wish hit you suddenly, a smile breaking out on your face. You pressed your lips to the penny and wished with all your might, ‘I wish for us to have more moments like this together, from now through the rest of our days”. You opened your eyes and tossed the penny outward. Bucky’s coin was soon nestled safely at the bottom of the fountain with yours.
“What did you wish for?” he asked, pulling you back into his arms to continue dancing.
“I can’t tell you or it won’t come true,” you teased, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek as he spun you. “And let me tell you, I really want this wish to come true.”
Bucky chuckled, “Me too honey, me too.”
Your eyes came back into focus and a quiet sob left you. You stood in front of the fountain and cried into your hands, cursing all of the emotions you felt. That night had left you convinced that Bucky Barnes was the one. You had fallen asleep dreaming of dancing like that with him at your wedding. But now? Now all you wanted to do was scream. You wanted to scream at him, at yourself, and at the universe for being cruel enough to lead you back to this fountain without him at your side.
As the tears began to slow, a new kind of weight settled in your chest. He really could have been the one. He could have been everything you dreamed of and more, but there was nothing you could do to go back in time to change things. He decided to walk out that door and leave you with nothing more than an empty space in your heart, one to match the empty spaces he left in your apartment.
The questions the therapist had asked you started ringing through your ears as you continued to stare blankly at the fountain. What about the ‘after’? Maybe she had a point bringing it up today. You were still stuck in the ‘before’. Maybe it was finally time to start moving on. Missing items could be replaced; missing love could be given by someone else. All you had to do was make the decision to take your first steps into the ‘after’.
Your feet remained glued in place as you tried to make sense of it all.
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You were confused as to where you were. Looking around, nothing seemed familiar. It wasn’t until a familiar silhouette caught your attention that you realized where you were. Bucky stood at the top of the mountain, staring down at the canyon below. Green trees and bushes lined the ground and the air was filled with the sound of birds chirping. The view was beautiful, but you couldn’t stop staring at Bucky. He looked the same, yet something felt different. Bucky seemed calmer than you had seen him in years, almost as if all of his stress had faded away. His body language was relaxed and he seemed to be in no rush to leave where he was.
Suddenly, the once green mountain top was now covered in a blanket of snow. Bucky was now wearing a thick winter coat and was strapping his feet onto a snowboard. He soon had his helmet and goggles on and began his descent down the mountain. It felt like you were flying along with him as you watched him expertly weave his way through the trees. The ease at which he moved confused you. Since when did Bucky know how to snowboard? He expressed wanting to try but never had while you were together. Confusion clouded your mind until Bucky reached the bottom of the mountain and came to a halt. He removed his helmet and a look of pure exhilaration filled his face. His excitement made your heart burst. As you reached out to try and touch him, the scene changed once again.
This time you were in the middle of the ocean. The vast expanse of blue was the only visible thing in sight other than Bucky. He was in full scuba gear, just floating there waiting. He was so still that if it weren't for the stream of bubbles that came with each exhale, you wouldn’t have been able to tell if he was breathing. Out of nowhere, a shape appeared in the distance. As it got closer, you felt your stomach drop. A large shark swam slowly towards Bucky. You rolled your eyes at the realization. Of course, he would go swimming with sharks with no safety cage. That idiot had no respect for your nerves or your -
You were woken up abruptly by the sound of your phone ringing. You groaned and cursed yourself for it somehow not being on silent. In your confused state, you reached out and slowly felt around on the top of your nightstand trying to find your phone. Once you found it, you tilted the screen so you could see who was calling. A beautiful picture of Natasha filled your screen and you sighed. Only Natasha could call randomly and happen to wake you up from a dream about Bucky. You pressed the answer button and begrudgingly brought the phone to your ear.
“Morning, you better have a good reason for waking me up,” you mumbled, letting out a yawn as you finished speaking.
“It’s past noon, you know. Most decent people are already up by now,” You could hear the smile in her voice as she spoke.
“Shut up. It’s still morning if I haven’t gotten out of bed yet. What do you want? I was having a nice dream.”
Your gruff response got a laugh from Natasha. “Well I was calling to see how your Tinder date went last night, but now I’m wondering if I should be asking what you were dreaming about that has you being this testy,” she teased.
You rubbed your eyes and groaned, “The dream was nothing special, I’m just mad you woke me up. The Tinder date was also nothing to write home about. The guy was awful. He started off super charming like they always do, but he got snappy with our waitress and then tried to get snappy with me when I called him out on it. I paid for my half of the bill and left as quickly as I could.”
“Ugh, gross. Men are actually the worst,” Natasha said. You hummed in agreement and she continued, “So are you ready for me to start setting you up, or are you going to keep giving these Tinder people a try?”
You sighed and paused for a moment to think. “Nat, I know you’re trying to help but the only people you have that you can set me up with are all SHIELD employees. I don’t see it ending well if I go down that path given my prior dating history.”
A scoff came through the phone. “He’s dating again too, so he has no right to be pissy about anything if that’s what you’re worried about. Besides, he was also the one who ended it so he doubly has no right to be upset.”
You sat up straight as she spoke, your stomach dropping at the thought. “He’s dating again?” Your voice sounded small, smaller than it had in ages.
This time it was Natasha’s turn to pause before responding. “Yes. He’s taken a few of the receptionists here out on coffee dates, but nothing seems to be sticking. If Wilson is to be believed, he’s also on Tinder. I can’t imagine that’s working out very well for him either though.”
You felt nauseous, but you forced yourself to pause to recenter your thoughts. Of course he would be dating again. It’s been almost a year since you broke up. If you’re dating again, it only makes sense that he is as well. He deserves to be happy too. A heavy sigh left you, “Well, I hope he’s having better luck than I am.”
                                        ***
You were on the phone with Natasha for another twenty minutes before she had to go. It felt nice catching up with her, and the two of you made plans for another lunch get together later in the week. The conversation had quickly transitioned away from dating, but the fact Bucky was dating again lingered in the back of your mind for the entirety of the call.
You had been on Tinder for a while now, but somehow it never occurred to you that he might be too. How does a superhero just casually join the worst dating app in existence? Do people actually believe it’s him when they come across his profile? You couldn’t help but snort at the thought. Conversations on dating apps sucked enough as it is, but having to try and prove you’re who you say you are the way Bucky must have to certainly would make it that much less enjoyable.
Almost as if it knew you were thinking about it, a Tinder notification popped up on your lock screen. You opened up the app and saw two new messages from someone you had matched with. You typed out a response and then proceeded to scroll through the list of other potential matches. Most of the profiles you looked at were immediate no’s, but there were a few you swiped right on. It never ceased to amaze you how bad the men on this app were at smiling in pictures. Most of them had only a slight grin in one or two pictures. Any profile with a man properly smiling almost always got a swipe right. The only other type of picture that had that sort of response was for cute cats and dogs.
You continued to swipe, pausing occasionally to respond to a message. Out of nowhere, a familiar pair of blue eyes started staring up at you, causing you to nearly drop your phone in surprise. Of course the day you find out Bucky is on Tinder is the day you come across his profile. You quickly took a screenshot before swiping left and exiting out of the app. You sent the screenshot to Natasha. She responded almost immediately, Guess Wilson was telling the truth 🙄
You laughed at her response as you got out of bed, ready to finally start your day.
                                        ***
A sigh of relief left you as you collapsed on your couch after spending most of the afternoon running errands. It hadn’t been anything too bad, but that didn’t stop you from being thankful it was over. You laid there for a few minutes, just enjoying the stillness and the comfort of being on your couch. Once settled, you reached over to the coffee table and grabbed the glass of wine you had poured, and opened up your phone.
You opened up Snapchat and responded to the few snaps you had from Natasha and other friends before opening up Instagram. You mindlessly watched people’s stories, skipping through any of the ones that didn’t interest you. You paused however on Bucky’s.
He was standing next to a beautiful woman, each of them holding a painting in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. Both of them had smiles that filled their faces. You stared at the picture, unsure of what you should be feeling. On one hand, it was nice seeing him so relaxed and happy. His posture reminded you eerily of how he looked in your dream. On the other hand, you couldn’t help but feel a touch of bitterness. You had practically begged him to go with you to a wine and paint night while you were together. He always used work as an excuse, either he was too tired from work or he had too much work left to do. You stared at the picture for a minute longer, wondering if they’d be going home together or parting ways for the night. You sighed, shaking your head at your own stupidity before continuing to scroll.
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The wind blew violently around you as you struggled to make your way up the street. The weather turned unexpectedly as you were out on your run, so you rushed towards the closest coffee shop hoping to wait out the weather and avoid having to pay for a cab back home. The barista greeted you as you stepped inside and you offered her a smile.
“What can I get for you?” she asked.
You stared up at the menu, considering your options. “One large hazelnut latte and a cinnamon roll, please.”
She entered everything into the computer and you held out your card for her. Once your payment was processed, you turned to find a seat. The coffee shop was crowded, no doubt due to the bad weather driving people indoors. You looked around unsuccessfully and had almost resigned yourself to standing when a familiar voice called out.
You jumped at the sound. You turned around and made eye contact with Bucky Barnes for the first time since he walked out your front door. He was sitting there grinning ear to ear, almost as if he was genuinely happy to see you. The thought made your heart burst and it was impossible to hold back an equally big smile.
“Hey Bucky, how’s it going?”
“It’s going really well! Thanks for asking,” he paused and looked around before continuing, “Do you want to sit down? There’s not a lot of seating left and it’s just me here.” His hand gestured towards the empty seat across from him as he spoke.
You paused, unsure of if you should take it or continue to look elsewhere. You looked around the room for an empty seat but didn’t see any. Well, I guess we’re doing this. You stepped forward and mumbled out a thanks as you sat down.
“I’m kind of surprised to see you here if I’m honest. I didn’t think you came to this part of the city very often,” he said, taking a sip of his coffee. You couldn’t help but laugh.
“I generally don’t. The weather took a bit of a nasty turn while I was out on my run. I stepped in hoping that by the time I’m ready to leave it’ll have calmed down.”
Another smile broke out across his face as you spoke. “You’re running again? That’s awesome.” He sounded sincere as he spoke which made you smile back.
You nodded, but before you could respond the barista arrived with your coffee and cinnamon roll. You thanked her and took a long sip of your coffee, enjoying the warmth you felt as you did. An awkward silence filled the air as both of you tried to size the other up. You decided to break the silence.
“So, what’s new with you?”
                                        ***
An hour later, the two of you were still chatting away happily at the table. Once the conversation started, it didn’t stop. Everything felt like it had at the start of your relationship: easy, comfortable, and filled with excitement. The only pauses that occurred were when the barista refilled both of your coffees and brought Bucky a cinnamon roll, which he ordered after you spent five minutes going on about how incredible it was.
One of the things you had forgotten about being around Bucky was the warmth he exuded. Even on his worst days, he had the unwavering ability to make the room feel safe. You couldn’t ever quite pin down whether it had to do with his cologne being a comforting smell or if that’s just who he was. All you knew is that he always left you aching to lean into his chest and stay there until you absolutely couldn’t. Needless to say, today it left you feeling quite confused given everything that had happened between you.
The thoughts you had several months ago about getting closure were brought back to the forefront of your mind. How had things gotten so bad between you? How had both of you let this wonderful thing fall to pieces without even one final attempt at holding it together? Each little pause in the conversation as you transitioned between topics left you aching to ask all of the questions you had. Everything was so easy and so smooth between you today that you almost felt hope that things were salvageable between you. Maybe, just maybe, your fountain wish could still come true. As you were finally working up the courage to ask, his next sentence knocked all other thoughts out of your head.
“Did you hear that Steve and Sharon are finally engaged? Took that meathead long enough to ask.”
A gasp left your mouth, “No way! It’s about freaking time. Have they picked a date yet?”
He nodded. “First weekend in June. Sharon’s already picked their wedding colors too; sage green and rose gold. She explicitly said she picked rose gold because she wants to serve that rosé champagne you introduced her to. It’s still her favorite to this day.”
A bittersweet smile made its way onto your face as you thought about what he said. You had brought two bottles of that sparking rosé to a dinner Sharon hosted once, back when she and Steve were still circling around their feelings for each other. Sharon had barely taken her first sip before asking you for details on where you bought it. Ever since, Sharon always had a bottle in her fridge. Her friendship was the one you missed the most after the breakup. There had been a few half-hearted attempts from both of you to reach out, but each time her responses felt forced. Eventually you stopped trying.
“Well, I’m sure it’ll be a beautiful wedding. They deserve it,” you said. A chuckle left your lips as a new thought entered your head. “How on Earth is Steve going to choose between you and Sam for best man?”
Bucky joined in on your laughter, making your stomach do summersault after summersault. “Sam and I were actually wondering the same thing, but apparently they’ve decided to not do a bridal party. That makes things easy for me though. I get to kick back and enjoy the wedding knowing I have no responsibilities.”
The idea of Bucky having a blast at a wedding made you smile. The smile faded slightly as you realized this meant Bucky was now going to need a date for this wedding. Images of him in a fancy suit, twirling another woman around the way he had in the fountain with you flashed before your eyes. You felt your heart breaking all over again at the thought of how it could’ve been you if you hadn’t fucked it all up. How stupid could you have been thinking the two of you could talk things out after all this time. He’s probably already planning on asking that girl from the wine and paint night to go with him. She had appeared on his social media several times since that night and each time it made your chest ache a little more. Bucky’s voice broke you from your thoughts.
“Hey, you okay?”
You swallowed thickly and nodded. You tried smiling but felt yourself falter and knew he noticed it too. “Yeah, just caught up in my thoughts.” You needed to get out of here and fast. Conveniently, your phone screen lit up and you were able to fake gasp at the time. “Oh my god, look how late it is. I really should get going.”
Bucky stared at you, unsure of how to respond to the sudden change in the atmosphere. You stood and rushed to collect your things.
“It was really nice seeing you again Bucky,” you said, offering him a half-smile as you take your first steps away from the table. He nodded, still looking unconvinced.
“It really was. Maybe we could do this again sometime?” He asked, trying his hardest to keep too much optimism from creeping into his voice.
Your eyes went wide with surprise, but you slowly nodded. “Yeah, maybe.”
The same awkward silence from before filled the air, only this time neither of you seemed to know how to break it. You offered a small wave and made your way out the door, refusing to turn around and hug him despite how strongly your body was screaming at you to do so.
Bucky stood there staring after you until you were out of sight. A sigh left him after you rounded a corner and he began to collect his things.
                                        ***
Bucky had made his way back to the Avengers compound with relative ease, though his mind was still stuck back at the coffee shop with you. He had nearly choked on his coffee when he saw you walk in and hardly realized what he was doing when he called out to you. His mind had started screaming at him from the second he offered you a seat and apparently had yet to find a good enough reason to stop. Talking to you had been magical. He had forgotten how well the two of you meshed once a conversation was started. Nobody else had ever been able to keep up with his constant jumping between topics, not even Sam and Steve. You never made him feel bad for his quick transitions; you just understood and accepted that was the way his mind worked. Even after all that time, you took it all in stride.
An unexpected slam of a cabinet door caught his attention as he made his way through the communal kitchen. Sam was standing there, unloading dishes from the dishwasher. Bucky greeted the man with a gentle nod of the head as he pulled out one of the barstools to sit.
“That was a long coffee shop visit, you run into a cute girl there?” Sam teased, smirk playing across his face.
“I ran into her.”
Sam’s motions paused as he processed Bucky’s words. He looked up at his friend, who was conveniently not meeting his gaze, unsure of how to respond. “Her as in…?”
Bucky nodded and Sam let out a slow puff of air. “How are you feeling?” Sam asked cautiously.
It took a few minutes for Bucky to find the words. “You know Sammy, I actually don’t know. There are too many contradictory feelings in my head to pinpoint just one.” He finally looked up and met Sam’s eyes.
Sam motioned for him to continue.
“It was so nice to see her again and talk to her. It made me feel like things were back when we were both still head over heels in love with each other. She’s doing so well. She’s made huge progress mentally, she’s been given a promotion at work, she’s just out there living her life. It made me so happy to see...
“But the happier I got sitting there talking to her, the angrier I got with myself for being such an ass while I was with her. Who has a woman like that in their life and chooses to ignore her for work? What kind of jerk does that?” He paused for a moment, staring down at his feet before continuing.
“There was a moment where she looked at me and I looked at her and I just knew we were both wondering where the hell we went so wrong. She looked like she wanted to say something so badly, but decided against it and just...got up and left. I kinda deserved it though-” he let out a dark chuckle, “- it’s what I did to her after all.”
Sam had continued unloading the dishes as Bucky spoke, trying to keep things casual while he got everything off his chest. Once Sam knew Bucky was done, he paused and rested both hands on the counter to give his friend his full attention.
“Yeah, you were an ass who put work first. She was a great girl who loved you unconditionally. You let her down and yourself down too. But she also had her issues that contributed to what happened. It’s not all on you.” Sam shot a reassuring smile at Bucky.
Bucky nodded, knowing Sam was right. He couldn’t help but sigh and put his head in his hands though as more thoughts swirled around in his head. “I can’t help but think about how my actions probably worsened things for her though, you know? She was depressed for a while before I started acting that way, but I certainly didn’t help the situation. And just...I walked out on her. I walked out and didn’t even give her a proper goodbye.”
Sam stood still and nodded along. “You did, but what you’re forgetting is that you also did because it was also the best thing for you at the time. Both of you were unhappy with who the other was becoming at that time. Sometimes breaking up is the best route to take and they don’t always end with a clear-cut goodbye. You guys may have missed out on some closure, but if today went as well as you said it did, maybe you’ve got a different kind of closure coming down the pipe.”
Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed and he looked up at his friend. “What do you mean?”
Sam rolled his eyes and laughed softly, “Man, what did your dumb ass do with girls before I came along?” He continued laughing for a moment before resuming, “What I’m getting at is that if today went as well as you think before the awkward ending, what if there’s a possibility of reconciling? Even if it’s not in a romantic sense, you could always try and be friends.”
For a moment, Bucky’s heart surged. Maybe Sam was right, maybe things could be fixed. He knew things were going well before you got up to leave, maybe he could try and make things right.
Then, the memory of how uneasy and uncomfortable you looked at the end of the conversation replayed in his mind. He felt his throat tighten and tears well up in his eyes. You didn’t want him back. He had his chance today and he blew it.
He shook his head slowly and whispered, “I don’t think that’s going to happen, Sammy.”
                                        ***
Sam eventually let the topic drop and Bucky was free to make his way back to his rooms. A familiar meow rang out from across the room and was soon followed by the sound of excited footsteps rushing towards him. Alpine rubbed himself against Bucky’s legs, meowing expectantly. He chuckled and crouched down to rub Alpine’s ears.
“Hey there buddy, did you miss me?”
Alpine meowed, almost as if to say yes. Bucky smiled and picked up the cat before standing up. He made his way to his bedroom and let Alpine jump down onto the bed once they were close enough. His boots were kicked off haphazardly at the foot of the bed before he climbed into bed. Alpine came and curled up under one of his arms, purring slightly as he did. A sigh left him as he mindlessly pet the cat and adjusted his position until he was comfortable.
Bucky’s thoughts turned back to you almost immediately. His heart ached as he began to relive the night he knew he had fallen in love with you. How he wished he could go back in time and experience it all over again.
“So, Stark is holding a fundraiser in about three weeks. I was wondering if you’d like to come with me?” Bucky asked.
The smile on your face made his heart flutter. “Of course! What’s the dress code?” you asked. “I’m not sure if I have anything fancy enough to wear to a Stark gala.”
“It’s a 1920s theme. I’m not entirely sure what he means by that though, considering I was barely old enough to remember the first half of the decade.”
A teasing smile broke out across your face as he spoke. “So what you're telling me is the oldest man in the room somehow still isn’t old enough to remember the roaring twenties? Tsk tsk,” Your teasing tone made him laugh and lean over to kiss you.
“I’ll have you know young lady -” he paused to place kisses all over your face “- this is a completely unacceptable thing to say. Don’t you know you should respect your elders?” You continued to giggle as he continued to kiss you.
                                        ***
On the day of the gala, you were whisked away early in the day by Natasha. She claimed the whole day was needed to properly prepare, which left Bucky standing there rolling his eyes. But when you finally stepped out of the elevator into the lobby of the compound, Bucky felt his heart stop. You looked ethereal. The flapper style dress you were wearing fit you perfectly, your hair was elegantly framing your face, and your lips were painted the most perfect shade of red he had ever seen. He couldn’t keep his eyes off you the entire night.
By the end of the night, the champagne finally had gone to your head and you were desperate to leave. You grabbed his hand giggling, rushing as quickly as you could out of the reserved plaza. You stumbled a few times over the uneven cobblestones, so he kept a hand on your waist just in case.
“Bucky, I need to find somewhere to sit down. I need to take off my heels.” you giggled as you spoke, making his heart flutter for the millionth time that night. Without a word, he picked you up bridal style and slowly spun around as he searched for somewhere you could sit.
His eyes landed on a large fountain a short distance away and he began walking towards it. You settled comfortably into his arms, with one hand sneaking under his tux jacket and gripping gently onto his shirt just over his heart. Bucky wondered if you could tell it was about ready to beat out of his chest as he leaned slightly to set you down on the fountain’s edge. He had hardly sat down next to you before your heels were kicked off. It was amazing how much more relaxed you looked just from doing that.
He was so focused on how beautiful you looked he almost didn’t hear you giggle or realize what you were about to do. His jaw dropped slightly as you stood in front of him in the fountain, dress pulled up slightly as you waded in.
Bucky’s eyes never left you as you walked around, letting out the cutest laughs with each stream of water that you walked under. When you arrived back at where he was sitting and his whole world stopped as you bent forward to press your sweet lips against his. Your hands found their way to his hair as his made their way to your hips. With every ounce of his being, he wished his hands could make their home. They belonged there, allowing him to hold you so tightly against him it was almost impossible to tell where his body stopped and yours began.
It startled him when you pulled away suddenly, but the confusion didn’t last long as he was met with a handful of water and mischievous laughter. The splashing was relentless. You refused to stop despite him begging for you to quit it. He rushed to remove his shoes and socks so he could jump into the fountain with you. The excited squeal that left your mouth as you started rushing through the water trying to escape him made him grin. He was going to catch you and you knew it. That didn’t stop you from trying to delay the inevitable though. You tried to hide behind the fountain's centerpiece and to fake which direction you were going to run. When you decided to leave the safety of the centerpiece, he had you back in his arms facing him within seconds.
As he watched your face, the overwhelming urge to confess the extent of his feelings filled his chest. He loved you. He had known for weeks now, but staring at your beautiful face reaffirmed it so deeply in his soul that it felt like an integral part of who he was now. Bucky opened his mouth to speak, but the words failed him. Instead, he leaned forward and he channeled everything he had into a kiss. He wanted this to be the kind of kiss written about in fairytales; one that leaves audiences tearing up over and longing for. He hoped you felt everything he didn’t have the courage to say tonight and the small voice in his head hoped you felt the same.
He felt you smile into the kiss, making his heart swell. He pulled away gently after a moment, staying close enough to press kisses across your face. You had told him once how special you felt when he did it; now he couldn't stop doing it. He needed you to know how special you were to him, how loved you were in his arms. When he was satisfied, he rested his forehead against yours. An idea struck him and he smiled at you, “Would you like to dance?”
You nodded and he began to lead you in a slow dance throughout the fountain. He had never felt more grateful for the dancing experience he gained in his youth and that it was a skill he somehow kept throughout the years of brainwashing and torture. The feeling of your body against his calmed his mind and kept his focus from wandering back to the past. The only thing he wanted to think about right now was how beautiful you were and how lucky he was to have you.
After a few minutes of him leading you aimlessly around the fountain, you pulled away gently and looked up at him with a smile. “We should make a wish.”
His face twisted with confusion. “A wish?”
You smiled as you nodded at him, “You know, toss some coins into the fountain and make a wish as we do.”
Bucky laughed as he thought about how much like a fairytale this night was turning into. Apparently his kiss had done the trick. “I don’t think this is a wishing-well. Although -” he chuckled again, “-I hardly think they meant for anyone to dance around in it either, so why not.”
Reluctantly, he let go of your hand and fished around in his pocket until he found his wallet. He’d never felt more relieved to see pennies in his life as he pulled out the only two coins he had. He pressed one into your hand as he leaned in to kiss your forehead. “It looks like we only get one wish each tonight, so we’d better make it a good one.”
He watched as you stared down at the penny, wondering what wish you were going to make. Your face was serious as you thought but broke out into the most beautiful smile. You stood there, coin pressed to your lips, before tossing it out into the fountain. You stared up at him expectantly, waiting for him to make his wish.
He didn’t need to stop and think about his wish. He knew what his wish was from the day he met you. Following your motions, he pressed the penny to his lips and wished, ‘I wish for a life filled with more wonderful nights like this, with this beautiful woman in my arms’. He tossed the coin in and his hand found its way back into yours.
Without a word, he pulled you back in close to him and resumed leading you around the fountain. After a few moments of peaceful silence, he spoke.
“What did you wish for?”
“I can’t tell you or it won’t come true,” you said, voice teasing as you pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek. “And let me tell you, I really want this wish to come true.”
“Me too honey, me too.”
As the memory faded, Bucky couldn’t help but let the tears that had been building fall. That night had been so wonderful. You deserve someone who could give you nothing but nights like that, not the heartache he put you through. He closed his eyes and whispered to no one but himself, “You could’ve been the one. You should’ve been the one...”
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holylulusworld · 5 years ago
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Only mine
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Summary: Months after the incident Steve and the others are back at the Avengers’ tower. Under prohibition they can ‘save the world’ again. Seeing you with Tony makes Steve furious…
Pairing: Nomad!Steve Rogers x Reader, Natasha Romanoff
Warnings: angst, smut, unprotected sex, dub-con, sex pollen, possessive Steve, stalking, dirty talk, breeding kink, language, OOC Steve, Steve being a creep, this is darker, tho…
Kinktober Special: Sex Pollen
Sequel to: Hard lesson to learn
Kinktober Specials
This one has more plot and we are getting closer to Halloween so it’s not only smut - it’s creepy too…
Please consider this is a darker fic, including an OOC Steve for this chapter!!! That’s a warning - not an advertisement!
 Days passed without any incident. You assume Steve is keeping his distance as Tony asked him to. One the other hand – why should Steve want to be close to you? He made clear that there’s not even friendship between the two of you. Why wasting time with you again?
Tapping your fingers onto your desk, lost in thoughts, you don’t see Steve passing your office, you don’t see the darkened eyes watching you glancing out of the window remembering the dead bird.
Steve moves backward, stopping in front of your room. You always have your door open, that’s just the way you are. Not a single time you kept someone out of your office. Anyone can enter your office, anytime…
Distracted by your phone ringing you can’t see the way Steve is watching you. His eyes focused on your body, lower lip trapped between his teeth he remembers the way you felt around him, underneath him. 
He needs to hear you crying out his name. It wasn’t perfect as you didn’t cum, and this fact is wounding his pride. Every woman being pleasured by Captain America needs to cum.
Steve listens to you answering Tony’s call, chuckling. Your voice raises and you giggle about a joke your friend made. Tony tries everything to distract you from Steve’s return. Captain America doesn’t know about these things, he only sees the woman he ‘owns’ flirting with someone else. This must end…
----
Another week passed and slowly you got the feeling fate is against you. Every time you walk through the hallway Steve is there. You can’t enter your office without Captain America greeting you friendly, his brightest smile on his perfect lips.
The moment you enter the cafeteria he holds the door open for you as he’s at the right time, at the right place.
----
Lost in thoughts once again you walk toward your car to buy some groceries as you got the feeling someone is following you. 
Walking faster, keys in your hands you want to enter your car as someone grabs your hair, smashing your head against the hood of your car and darkness welcomes you.
Waking up you hear someone calling your name, you feel someone picking you up. Your vision is blurry, head pounding you look up at Steve who is talking to another person.
“Steve? What happened?” You choke out as you rest your head against his shoulder.
“I wanted to drive to town to get some things. I reached my bike and heard a scream, then an impact and ran into your direction. A guy was towering over you. Don’t worry, they arrested him. We need to bring you to a doctor to let them check on you for a concussion, Baby. I won’t let you enter the garage alone ever again.” Steve’s voice is soothing but there’s an order hidden behind his words you don’t recognize due to the dizziness clouding your mind and you lose consciousness.
“Steve, let her rest a bit. This could’ve happened to anyone.” Natasha says. “Why did you tell her they arrested him? He escaped…” Natasha looks at her friend, her Captain not buying his story.
“I was…” Steve sighs. “I messed up before Y/N left. I was so worried about her seeing the guy towering over her, I dragged him off her to check on Y/N, but he took the opportunity and run off. I was ashamed to admit I let her attacker escape due to a stupid mistake.” Steve says as he looks at you in his arms. “I need to make a few things up to her.”
----
Doctor Cho releases you two days later and Steve is everywhere again. You leave your apartment - Steve follows you to your office. You want to drive to town – he offers his help.
You want to order lunch; Steve is there to bring you your favorite food along with beverages and fruits.
“Steve, you need to stop doing this. We are not friends, we are not…” Your voice cracks and you glance at your hands. “I don’t know why you are doing this. If Tony said anything…” Steve jumps up, clenching his jaw he paces around the room like a wild animal in a cage.
“I’m doing this to show you I’m the one caring about you. I’m the one protecting you. Every. Single. Day.” Steve enounces the last three words and suddenly there’s a pit growing in your stomach.
“You don’t have to…”
“I have to as the great Iron Man isn’t able to protect his girlfriend.” Steve snarls and you glare at him. “I’m not! Tony is my mentor, nothing else. He’s with Pepper…”
“Oh…” Steve stops in his tracks, rubbing his scruffy chin as he looks at you with darkened eyes. “He didn’t touch you?”
“What the fuck!” Cursing you jump up to slap Steve’s cheek. “Only as you used me that night Tony isn’t the same. He would never do such a thing. Using my feelings against me to get off.”
Steve looks offended as he grabs your arms to stare down at you. “Take that back. I had sex with you to make you feel good and to show you I’m not a teddy bear in bed…”
“Make me feel good? Are you kidding me? I couldn’t sit or walk for days. I was sore and I didn’t cum, Rogers. You didn’t make me feel good. A real man would’ve taken his time. He would’ve done foreplay and called me Baby or Sweetheart, not slut or whore.” Your voice raises just like your blood pressure as Steve has the guts to smirk.
“Going to make it up to you then. Tonight. My room. I’ll eat you out for hours.” Steve’s eyes are lust-blown as you punch his nose. “In your dreams!”
----
The next days are silent and you pray Steve will not follow you again. Your hopes get destroyed as he strides into your office, handing you a bouquet.
“I want to apologize for my behavior. I’ll never act like this again. If you ever need my help call me or come to my room but I’ll keep my distance if you want me to do so.” Steve says. You search his face, but he offers you a shy smile and you smile back, nodding.
“We should try to find a way to work together. I can’t forgive you what you did that night, but we could try to be colleagues again.”
Steve’s eyes lit up as you sniff at the flowers. “Maybe one day we can be friends…” He whispers as you inhale the scent of the roses he brought you.
“Maybe…” You lie as Steve turns to leave, a smirk all over his face.
----
You feel hot, burning hot. Sweat is dripping down your body even after three cold showers your body didn’t cool off and the pain is taking a toll on you. It doesn’t help you are aroused as never before, almost dripping.
Gasps leave your lips as you try to get yourself off only to fail. Nothing seems to help with the fever, and nothing seems to get you off.
Blinking a few tears away you hear someone entering your room as you writhe onto your bed, naked…desperate…in pain.
“Y/N…oh…sorry.” Steve stammers glancing at your naked form. “I thought you are in danger or pain. I heard screams.” 
“Something is wrong. I don’t know why but I have a fever and it hurts…” You sob as Steve dips one knee into your mattress. Just now you see he’s only in lose sweatpants. His chiseled torso on full display he leans over your body, touching your forehead.
“You’re burning up, Y/N.” Steve's voice is low, arousing and you desperately move your hands over his chest, trying to find any kind of human contact. “Tell me what you need, shall I call Dr. Cho?”
“She’s in Hong Kong with Tony.” Steve moves closer. His body only inches from yours so you slide your finger over his skin, whimpering in pain. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“Did you eat something strange? Where you in the lab?” Steve gets even closer, now brushing his lips over your forehead.
“I helped Bruce…why?” You gasp as Steve’s fingers comb through your hair. “Maybe you got infected with something. F.R.I.D.A.Y. can you check on Y/N?”
“Yes, Captain. Scanning vital functions now.” There’s a moment of silence till the AI answers. “Captain I’m sorry to tell you but Ms. Y/L/N got infected with something called sex pollen.” 
“What’s that?” Lips dry, body aching for release you look at Steve. He smirks at you, at least your brain believes he smirks but then it’s gone, and he looks concerned down at you. 
“Uh-nasty stuff. Makes you aroused and can kill you if you don’t find release. You should, you know…touch yourself.”
“It didn’t work. I can’t get myself off…” Tears stream down your face as you wiggle on the bed, crying out for help.
“I can help you, but you need to say it, Baby Girl. Tell me you need me…only me…” Steve whispers and you nod, not knowing how to stop the hurting. “Please…”
“I want to hear it, say you are only mine, Y/N.” Desperate you touch his chest, trying anything to make the pain go away.
“I need you, Steve…I’m yours…” Crying out in pain you watch Steve leave the bed. Panic rises in your chest. Will he leave?
The smirk is back along with something sinister plastered all over Steve’s face, but you don’t care. All you can focus on is he’s shoving his pants down, revealing his rock-hard cock.
“Please…” Your whimpers are music to Steve’s ears. He waits a moment longer, savoring the way you writhe on the bed, the way you present your glistening sex to him. 
A strangled cry leaves you lips and he’s between your legs, holding you open with strong hands as his lips seal around your clit, sucking harshly.
Panting you fall onto the bed, chanting his name as you orgasm, pussy clenching around nothing. “Thanks…” You are relieved, believing this was enough but your body starts aching again and Steve smirks against your cunt.
“Oh, Baby. You need way more than this to get the stuff out of your system. We have all night.” Barely able to register anything you overhear the chuckle leaving his lips as he covers your body. “I’ll make it good for you this time. Promised.”
“Steve…” Brain going mush you paw at Steve’s shoulder as he easily slides into you with one long stroke. 
“Shit, you feel so good.” He whispers in your ear, but you are too far gone to understand words. Only the first drag of his cock is important, and the way he presses his body against yours.
Steve let out a loud growl before his hips start moving in a madding pace. Every thrust hits home as if he studied your body. Cries erupt from your lips, tears run down your face as you come on his cock, but you are craving more.
“Shhh…” Steve soothes as you sob underneath him. Firm body keeping you caged underneath him he rocks into you in abandon. “You need more, Baby. Much more.” His words make your heart race. 
“How much more?” Gasping you feel another high approach. The heat gets stronger and the next pump sends you flying over the edge. Your arms wrap around his back as you hide your face into his chest, ashamed Steve needs to help you.
“You’ll need me for the rest of your life, doll. Just enjoy me taking care of you.” Steve's words scare you and make you gasp at the same time. Your eyes roll back as he grabs the headboard, starting to slam into you with so much force the bed starts moving.
Now your screams fill the room and Steve’s smile widens at the feeling of your tight heat squeezing him once again, this time dragging him with you. Cum floats your belly and just now you realize he didn’t use protection…again.
Reading your mind Steve rests his head in the crook of your neck, starting to move again. “Don’t worry, Y/N. I’ll fill you up the whole night. That’s what this stuff is graving. I hope you are prepared for being round with my baby.” 
Starting to shake you dig your nails into his back as he chuckles darkly. “You’re mine…now and forever.”
“I’m on the pill.” Your eyes meet Steve’s darkened ones and he smirks. “Doesn’t matter. My enhanced body in combination with this nice stuff will make sure you are having my baby. I’ll be a good father and husband.” Steve’s words send a shiver down your spine, but your body betrays you. Still craving the man inside of you…
----
You can’t recall how many times you came or how many times Steve came as everything after the pain started, is a blur. You can’t remember his words. All you know is he fucked you through the pain, all night long.
Now you are wide awake. Naked you lie curled into a ball, not knowing how you shall face Steve after what happened last night.
“Hmm…how do you feel?” He whispers snuggling closer to move his arms around you. “Do you need more?” His lips nip at your neck as you start sniffling.
“I’m sorry…”
“What for?”
“You had to help me…” Your voice barely above a whisper you listen to his dark chuckle. 
“Oh, doll I had fun for sure. We had fun. From now on you will never leave my bed again. You’re mine…”
“You don’t want me, never wanted me. After what you did…” His grip tightens. Hard body pressed against yours Steve’s posture changes before his words let you shake in fear.
“To clarify some things. You are mine from now on. You will pack your things and move into my apartment. What happened last night was only a taste of what will come.”
“I won’t…” Gasping you feel him holding you tighter, kissing your shoulder softly. “You will. You are mine, Y/N. After last night I’m sure you are going to have my baby. We’ll be so happy. Happier than I ever could’ve been with her…” Steve’s lips nip at your pulse point as you slump against his chest.
“It was you…the flowers…” The realization hits you like a freight train. “You did this to me…”
“I did it for us. We can be happy, Baby Girl. Give me the chance to show you I can worship you, your body and the child you will carry…” Steve's words won’t soothe you. Dread is all you feel as your blood runs cold. “I will love you…”
“Steve…please…”
“Last night you said you are mine; you will keep your word.” Now all makes sense. Did he hurt you the first time to make you realize he’s dangerous? “I wanted you to stay away. I changed and I can’t help myself close to you. Do you know how long I thought about making you mine and then you just laid down onto my bed like prey ready to get devoured by a lion.”
“You wanted to warn me…”
“Y/N, you didn’t listen. I can’t tame the beast inside, the beast wanting you any longer. I need to have you, so I’ll make you mine…” Steve’s voice varies between possessiveness and regret. “I loved you long ago, but I denied me this feeling and concentrated on Peggy…” Now you can see everything fall into places. All these looks, the way he spoke to you before the Accords…
“I loved you too, Steve…” Voice cracking you let Steve hold you, rock your body gently. “I’ll make you happy, promised. I only want to hear you are only mine…”
For now, you give in, give Steve what he’s craving. Maybe you can help him find a way back. A way out of the darkness swallowing him.
“I’m only yours…”
“Only mine…” Steve smiles for the first time in a long time. “Only mine…forever…”
Read the last part here: Root of Evil
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1K notes · View notes
lxvesickreality · 5 years ago
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mistakes 3/4
Request: same request from first one
Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader
Warnings: angst, heavy swearing, again angst because this is nothing but angst except for the tiniest bit of fluff near the end
Word Count: 2777
Add on: i have been inactive lately due to lack of inspiration so hopefully i can regain it with the tips given to me by @queenofthehairharrington​ << go check out those imagines! also, the inspiration that has been hitting a bit recently hasn’t included the requests so i may take a break from them and come back to the later. thanks for all the support and 200 followers<3
gif is NOT mine, full credit to owners
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8 hours, 17 minutes, 47 seconds
That’s how long the team had left to find his missing wife. With the video sent out just a few hours ago, it’d felt like an eternity to Steve. His wife was gone, somewhere with a death threat stuck on her back and there was no clue leading the way to her location. He couldn’t stop picturing the look on Y/N’s face when her eyes finally made their way to the camera. She was terrified, absolutely frightened and there was no nope shining in her e/c eyes that he loved so much. It was the first thing he fell in love with which sounds incredibly cheesy but the moment he looked into them, he saw the curiosity that was up in flames. He told her before, “Curiosity killed the cat,” but she laughed at him and said, “But satisfaction brought it back,”. In the beginning for them, it was full of honesty, loyalty, passion, and her curiosity, of course. Then it turned to hell all because of him and his stupid mistakes.
“We’re going to find her, Steve. Don’t give up,” Steve was sat outside on the grass looking out into the lake by his home, watching the ducks being fed by Sam and the others out in the middle of the lake. It was beautiful at dawn with the sun rising from just over at the other end of the lake. He knew by sitting here he was just losing time but he had to take a breather.
Finally, his blue eyes that had a hint of green reached up to stare at his best friend, sadness pooling in his eyes, “How do you know that, Bucky? We’ve got 8 hours. We’ve already lost so much time.” his voice cracked, new tears setting in. 
“Because I just know. C’mon, get up,” his best friend repeatedly shook his head, refusing to get up from his spot. He wasn’t ready to head back inside to face the team who still gave them expressions of disappointment. He would do that to himself as well, he cheated and he deserved everything he got from them. He didn’t treat his woman right. 1940′s Steve would be severely displeased with the modern Steve. He promised his wife he wouldn’t hurt her, he’d protect her at all costs even if it meant the cost was his life and he downright failed 100%. If they get her, he doubted she will want to be with him especially with his luck nowadays. 
“I made a huge mistake, Buck, a fucking huge one,” Bucky wasn’t used to Steve using this vulgar language and he usually was the one to tell everyone to stop but his friend was hurt and broken. Steve had stopped a few inches from where Bucky was and he faced his best friend, the tears falling down bit by bit that held the intense sadness forming in his heart. He really has given up, Bucky thought. “I don’t even think she’ll come back to me after all of this, back to our home we just finished building a few months ago. Bucky, why am I such a big idiot? I don’t know what was running through my mind. I mean I fought against Sharon the first few times she did it but the last time...I caved.”
“Steve,” Bucky laid a hand reassuringly on his shoulder. “you wanna know what Y/N told Tony and Natasha? She said it’d take time but with that given time, she’ll learn to forgive you. She loves you, she married you, Steve. She’ll come around and we will find her. Natasha thinks she has a lead so come on. Dry up those big, fat tears and go talk to her. One step closer.” 
~
“So we know where she is?” Steve questioned as him and Bucky arrive to the conference room the team was in minus Sam and Wanda. 
Natasha shook her head,”Not exactly, but I have an idea. Tony, bring up the video and pause it when he shows the timer.” Tony nodded and almost immediately had the video up at the right spot. “See those designs on the door handle? They’re made specially in Alaska and only Alaska. We’ve got it narrowed down to very few cities but even then, we still have to find the exact place.” 
“I know where that is at.” Wanda reveals. Steve felt a rush of relief slither its way down his body and he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, we got you, Y/N.
“Lets go then, what are we waiting for?”
“There isn’t an entrance, Steve. They somehow zap themselves in and out of the building and it’s underground.” 
Steve felt the walls crumble around him and the small sliver of hope he was just given was ripped away just as quick it was given to him. Reality seemed so far away from him all of a sudden, Bucky’s voice was like an echo and Steve’s heart felt like it was going to burst out if it got any faster. There was no more hope. They were at 7 hours already and she was all the way in Alaska plus Bruce would most likely have to build something to get inside of this building which could take days. He may not even have the equipment for it. It was over, he’d lost his wife for good and in just a few hours, he will be a widow. She was going to dead. 
Steve forced his way through the part of the team behind him, running out of the conference room with the heaviest heart that hung as low as the moon and it was turned to blue, color of the sadness and devastation he felt. It was over. She was gone. He could vaguely hear his best friend behind him, yelling and begging for him to stop what he was doing but honestly, Steve didn’t even know what he was doing. He couldn’t stop running or that was until Pepper made an appearance and Steve tripped. With the loud bang of him hitting his head off the wall echoing, it went dark for him and he was pulled into a dream.
~
Today was the day. The wedding day. Steve had waited 3 years to marry this woman and he couldn’t be happier to do so. He met her on the day of the battle against Loki and he’d saved her from getting killed when she ran out into the road to help him. Steve took one glance at her e/c eyes that sparkled as the sun beamed down on the both of them and he knew he was going to marry this brave woman who tried to save someone she didn’t know. Fury must’ve thought something similar and decided to have her join S.H.I.E.L.D. after witnessing the fight she did. 
To say Steve was nervous was an understatement, he was anxious and tense as he wanted the wedding to go well without an interference of work. Fury promised there was no upcoming missions nor was there nobody trying to take over the world. The wedding day was spontaneous, they’d had the whole wedding details planned out before picking a day because of the line of work they both had so when there was an available day for everyone, Steve set it all up where the love of his life chose. A fall wedding, in the woods where they found a clearing close to their favorite place; the waterfall where the first ‘i love you’ was exchanged, the first kiss, and their first intimate time. 
The ceremony was beautiful, she was beautiful. The dress was snug and tight at her breasts and torso until it got to her waist where it flowed nicely to the ground and the trail was a few feet long covered in a white lace design. The back was open where he could feel her soft skin when he dipped her to kiss her dark shade of pink stained lips but his favorite part was the little tiara she wore to keep the train in place that was layered with sapphire stones. She was his queen and he was her king now. 
“I love you, Steven Grant Rogers.”
“I love you too, Y/N M/N Rogers.” 
~
5 hours, 54 minutes, 27 seconds
“Bruce, I think he’s waking up! Steve? Rogers?” Steve’s eyes fluttered open shining his bright blue eyes that held the hint of green in them but was already beginning to hold tears in. His head throbbed in pain as the memory of him hitting his head came rushing back quickly. 
“Hey, bud, you had all of us worried there for a moment.” Bucky said, coming into view from behind Natasha.
Blinking rapidly, he shot up from the plain white bed, “How long was I out for? How much time do we have left?” 
“Steve, that’s not important right now. The rest of the team is working on it and you need to rest. You have a minor concussion that needs to be nursed a like a raging hangover.”
“How long, Bucky?” 
“5 hours and 48 minutes.” said his best friend sulking in defeat. “But you need to relax, Steve.”
“Relax? RELAX? Bucky, my fucking wife is out there probably beaten to a fucking bloody ass pulp and barely hanging on. I am not going to lay down and ‘nurse’ a fucking minor concussion that will not affect my help in this. My wife will come out alive, Bucky. Now, help me go help Bruce. We have to find a way into there.”
“We already found a way.”
Steve’s eyes shot to his best friend but the appearance of guilt that had a mix of satisfaction stopped the hope that was trying to worm its way to his heart. He’d done something stupid. “What did you do, Buck?”
“I told H.Y.D.R.A. I’d come back if they gave us Y/N. They said they’d do it as long as you don’t fight back.” 
“YOU WHAT?” 
The two boys continued to fight and bicker about Bucky’s well being, both of them oblivious to Natasha and Tony running in there yelling something at them they weren’t able to comprehend. Steve was beyond furious, no word can describe the anger he had. Giving himself to H.Y.D.R.A? Was he stupid? That was a stupid question to ask because clearly he was. 
“You lost all hope to find your wife, Steve. We all did!”
Steve nostrils flared with anger, “And you think I don’t know that? I’ve already lost her. How am I supposed to cope with the loss of you too?” Bucky let his eyes focus on the floor instead of looking into his best friends eyes. He was incredibly angry with him but he didn’t care. His wife mattered a lot to everyone and he wasn’t going to stand by and act like he couldn’t do anything to help it. H.Y.D.R.A. has wanted him from the beginning, he can endure a few more years with them if it meant Steve got his happiness back. “I can’t believe you did this, Buck,” 
“I’d do anything for my best friend, Steve. Even if it meant enduring just a little bit more pain.” 
“They’re here,” Natasha announced, catching the boys’ attention and Steve’s facial expression went blank. Nobody could tell what he was thinking or feeling, it just seemed like he was empty with no feelings at all and they didn’t know what was worse. Not knowing what he was going to do or knowing what he was going to do. He had a plan, Natasha could see that and so could everyone else as they stepped out of the compound with hard glares towards H.Y.D.R.A. who arrived not 5 minutes earlier. 
The team stood in front of the many men they brought, heavy hearts with the information of Bucky being traded off with Y/N. They knew Y/N would beat all of them if she found out Bucky was doing this and she’ll find out soon enough. Will it be before he’s taken away or after? That was a popular question.
“So,” a leader stepped forward with a proud smirk on his face. “The Winter Soldier has finally stepped forward, he’s not a coward. That’s nice to know.” 
“Never was one, just didn’t want to be around you. You tortured me-”
“Yet, you want to come back in exchange for your best friends girl. How brave and heroic. Well, Mr. Barnes, things have changed. We don’t want you. You’ve been too compromised. It’s been too long.”
The dreaded feeling sunk deep into Steve’s skin, soaking in every ounce of hope he had once again. Hope just wasn’t for him anymore. His wife was his hope and she isn’t here. His heart clenched and he willed himself to not cry, not to show weakness towards them because they would kill her as a game to go against him. Instead, he clenched his hands into fists and let the hope be taken over by anger. He was done. 
“I’m done. I’m so fucking done with you men toying with others. That’s my wife you have and if you don’t give her back, I will wipe out every fucking person in every H.Y.D.R.A. base. So help me god, I will tear everyone limb from limb!” Steve let himself threaten these men not caring about the language he has continued to use the last few days. The leader didn’t have to say it, he was terrified of the former soldier and the way he looked at him made his blood run cold. Steve was serious. “Have her come home.” 
The leader turned his torso to look at another man, nodding his head in confirmation of something and spun back around. He couldn’t show fear in front of his men but he didn’t want to lose everything. “We want you to come join us in exchange for-”
“Done. I’ll do it. Just bring her fucking home.” 
“Steve!” there was many protests against his decision, none of them wanting to lose Steve Rogers. 
“Bring her out, boys.” 
Then there she was. 
Bruised and beaten up. Clear broken bones in several places and cuts that were still profusely bleeding but the girl’s corner of her lips lifted up in a relieved smile upon seeing her husband. Steve didn’t hesitate to run towards her, past the men of H.Y.D.R.A. and through the line of cars and helicopter they brought Y/N on to get to his wife. Immediately, his arms wrapped around her in an embrace and the tears suddenly started to flow down but Steve didn’t care, his girl was here and alive. Bruised and beaten up, she still was the most beautiful woman in his entire life. He whispered in her ear ‘I love you’ over and over until she said it back with the same amount of love in her voice. He pulled back only to catch her lips in his. 
“Okay, lovebirds, we need to get going. Rogers, let’s go. Say your goodbye and let’s go.” 
“What?” her voice was hoarse and scratchy, full of confusion. “Steve, what’re they talking about?” 
“Bucky is going to look after you, Y/N. Just for a little while and I’ll be home before you know it. You just gotta hang in there, baby. Okay?”
She shook her head, putting aside the massive headache that pounded through the temples of her head, “No, no, no, Steven, please. Please don’t leave me.” 
“I don’t have a choice, baby. I’ll be back soon. I love you so much.” a few men came up behind Steve, taking his hands off of his wife’s body and handcuffing them behind his back. “I love you, Y/N Rogers. So fucking much.” 
She screamed, she screamed at them to let him go and they didn’t listen. They continued to the car that was a few feet away from them, dragging the love of her life in front of them away from her. She let herself fall to her knees, ignoring the pain in the one that was broken and screamed for him to come back.
With the door closing behind him, she whispered one final thing, no more voice to scream and she wished he heard, “I forgive you,” 
But he didn’t. He wouldn’t know until he came back years later down the road when they let him go. 
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penpatronuswhump · 4 years ago
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WHUMPTOBER 2020
No. 18
Fandom: Avengers
Whumpee: Tony Stark
Caretakers: Bruce Banner, Steve Rogers
Title: The Ghost
By: PenPatronus // PenPatronusAooO 
Nobody believed Tony when he told them the things he heard: footsteps he couldn’t account for, the sound of the refrigerator door opening when no one was in the kitchen, scratching sounds from his closet when he tried to sleep… Nobody believed Tony when he told them the things he saw: shadows around the corner that weren’t there when he turned, objects moving by themselves, a brief extra face in the mirror… Nobody believed Tony when he told them about what was moved or missing: his favorite screwdriver disappeared, his laptop was always closed when he returned after he swear he left it opened, the books on his nightstand rearranged themselves…
 “Are you saying there’s a ghost in the Tower?” Cap asked while he and Tony ate eggs together one morning.
 “I’m saying…” Tony thought about it for a moment. “I’m not sure what I’m saying… All I know is these things are happening.”
 Steve gave him a long look. “Have you been getting enough sleep?”
 “Yes.”
 “No, you haven’t. You never get enough sleep.”
 “Ok, I’m getting my normal amount of sleep,” Tony conceded.
 “Have you been eating?”
 “Yes, and don’t ask about my bowel habits next, please.”
 “I’m just saying, maybe you’re getting sick or something.”
 “I don’t have a headache, I’m not sleepy – I feel fine,” Tony insisted. “And I know what I’m seeing!”
 “Mhmm…” Steve chewed and swallowed two forkfuls of eggs before he spoke again. “Maybe you should, you know, get your, er, brain checked. MRI or EKG or EEG or whatever machine it is that looks at your brain.”
 Tony glared at his friend. “You don’t believe me, do you? You think I’m paranoid.”
 “Tony, I believe you’re seeing things, I’m just not convinced those things are real.”
 “Great. Nice.” Tony slammed his dirty dishes into the sink. “You know, if you were seeing these things, I’d trust you. I’d scan this whole place looking for irregularities and—”
 “Have you scanned the whole place?”
 “Of course, I—!” Tony sighed. “I’m going for a swim.”
 “You just ate.”
 “Don’t mother me, Rogers!” Tony marched to the seventeenth floor in a huff. He thought he heard footsteps following him, but decided to ignore the sound. Maybe he WAS getting paranoid? They hadn’t been on a mission in weeks… Maybe he was getting antsy and looking for things that weren’t there? Tony contemplated all of that while he undressed in the men’s locker room and then dove into his Olympic-sized pool. Swimming always cleared his head.
 He was in the deep end, in the left lane, when something heavy landed on him. Arms wrapped around his neck, legs around his torso, and he sank, fast. Tony struggled, but whoever it was had his arms pinned to his sides. He let himself sink all the say to the bottom and then, when his bare feet touched, he launched himself upwards with all his strength. Briefly, he emerged – long enough for a strangled “HELP!” that he hoped JARVIS heard. Then he was back underwater. He hadn’t had time for an inhale, so the water went up his nose almost instantly. Whoever was on top of him turned his body and, for a moment, Tony thought he saw a face…
 He woke up, sat up, and promptly vomited. Steve was beside him, pounding on his back, saying encouraging words, telling him to breathe. Tony obeyed, but he also turned left and right, looking, desperately, for whoever had tried to drown him. His left leg suddenly screamed for his attention. It was cramped up from knee to ankle. Tony rubbed it furiously. “Where is he?” he coughed.
 “Where’s who?” Steve went from pounding on Tony’s back to rubbing it. “I told you not to go swimming right after eating. See? You cramped up.”
 “I didn’t almost die because of a cramp, Cap, someone jumped on me!”
 “Tony, JARVIS didn’t say anything about that when he summoned me, and it was only you when I got here. There was no one else.”
 Tony got shakily to his feet. Steve begged him to sit down, but Tony pushed him aside and headed for the locker room. He got to the nearest screen implanted in the wall and started pushing buttons. The security footage of the pool showed him swimming, then going under, up again, and then back under. JARVIS summoned Cap and, a few second later, Steve dove in and pulled Tony out. There was no one else there.
 “This… This isn’t right.” Tony turned to Cap. “I’m telling you, someone tried to kill me!”
 Steve pointed at the screen. “You just saw, Tony. There’s nothing there. You got a cramp in your leg and you couldn’t swim with it. That’s what really happened.” Steve took him by the elbow. “Let’s get you dried off,” he said. “Come on. Sit down.” Steve plucked a white towel off a neat pile and wrapped it around Tony’s shoulders. “You’re shaking.” He took another towel and wiped off his arms.
 Tony tried to relax and allow Cap to take care of him.
 ----------
 They were all eating dinner together – Tony, Steve, Clint, Bruce, Natasha, and Thor – when the ghost attacked again. Suddenly, Tony fell backwards in his chair, taking the steak on his fork with him, and smashed into the floor. Everyone but Steve laughed. They all assumed he’d leaned too far back. But Steve noticed the speed and force of the fall and knew that Tony had been pulled from behind. He sprinted around the table and helped Tony back up onto his feet. The moment Tony stood straight, something slammed into his chin and he ended up on the floor. He then rolled up against the table as something kicked him in the stomach.
 “Believe me now?” Tony grunted to Steve.
 “Team, there’s something here – protect Tony,” Steve ordered. Everyone took out their weapons and made a circle around Tony, their meals forgotten on the dining room table. Something picked up Tony’s plate of food and frisbeed it across the room.
 “What the hell?” Barton sputtered.
 Tony suddenly fell on his ass, his left foot in the air. Something had reached between Thor’s legs and grabbed him by the ankle. Thor dropped his hammer down, but hit nothing. “I do not see anything,” said Thor. He twirled his hammer in his hand. “What is happening?”
 “Team, we have to be able to see this thing. Talk to me!” Steve yelled.
 Natasha sprinted into the kitchen. The moment she stepped aside, invisible hands grabbed Tony by the shirt and threw him over the couch. Tony landed hard on his side, his arm twisted under his torso. Another kick to the stomach and he was on his back, fighting off hands trying to choke him. Steve tackled the being on top of him and they went rolling across the room. Two punches to Steve’s cheek later, and the thing moved back to Tony. It lifted him nearly off his feet, and then launched him into the air. Tony bounced off a window, leaving a crack in his wake. He fought up to his knees, swaying back and forth, debating between trying to get up and staying down.
 Steve hurried back to Tony. “Think I have a concussion,” Tony said, words slurring. “Or possibly a skull fracture. Or a ‘me’ fracture.” He leaned too far to the left, then too far to the right, and had to hold on to Cap’s shoulder to stay up. “Steve…”
 “Hang in there,” Steve encouraged. His eyes darted around the room super-soldier fact. “We’ll get him.”
 “That would be lovely,” Tony deadpanned. And then he was tackled from the side. His head twisted back and forth as he endured punch after punch. Tony spat blood. A tooth fell out. His eye turned black. Natasha reappeared. She launched an open bag of flour at him and it didn’t hit him – it covered the thing on him in white powder. Thor immediately threw his hammer and hit the thing right in the chest. It bounced off the same window Tony had, this time leaving a broken window instead of just a crack. The ghost tried to wipe off the flour, but it was too late. Clint tackled him from behind and, with Bruce’s help, put handcuffs on his wrists, behind his back. Thor lifted the thing up by the throat and held it in mid-air. “Reveal yourself,” he ordered with a growl.
 Light fluctuated. A rain of color descended and there, grinning at them all, was a very familiar face.
 “Loki!” Thor roared. He slammed the back of his brother’s head against a window. “What the hell are you doing?”
 The trickster shrugged. “Can’t a guy have a little bit of fun?” He looked at Tony, who was on his feet only because Steve and Bruce held him up. “Psychologically torturing Stark for weeks? All fun and games.”
 “Fun and—!” Thor dragged Loki to the elevator, kicked him inside, gave Stark an apologetic look, and went inside. “Let’s see what Father has to say about this…” he said before the doors closed.
 Tony’s knees gave out. Steve and Bruce carried him over to the couch and helped him lie down. While the others got ice packs and first aid kits and blankets, Steve knelt and took Tony’s hand. “I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.”
 Tony rolled his eyes. “I don’t always give people reasons to trust me, I know… I just thought…”
 “I’d be different.” Steve winced. “I’m sorry. I really am. Let me make this up to you.”
 Another roll of the eyes. “You don’t have to do anything, Cap.”
 “I want to.”
 Tony stared at him. “Fine.” He thought for a minute, then smiled through bloody lips. “Cheeseburger.”
 The End
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jbbarnesnnoble · 4 years ago
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Through the Flames (Part Five)
Summary:  You’re a firefighter with the FDNY. After a fire that ends in tragedy, you find yourself running into some of the Avengers and maybe finding some new friends and romance along the way.
Features: Mentions of fire; minor character death, gun violence; mentions of a New Jersey specific pork based food
Pairing: Sam Wilson/Reader
Notes: You’re on the road to recovery as you recieve devastating news. 
Word Count: 2138
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You were getting sick of hospital food. You had been kept there for a week. A mild concussion, a messed up shoulder, and a broken wrist. They kept you because of the risk of complications and wanting to ensure you got started with your physical therapy. 
“You ever go home, Sam?” you joked when he came into your room with coffee and a bag of food. He had been sneaking you food when he could. The nurse that was usually in charge during the day was a no-nonsense woman who was known to forbid outside food from getting to patients. 
“Sometimes. Got your favorite. Don’t know how you stand that stuff. What the hell is a Taylor ham? I asked for pork roll and the guy at the bagel shop gave me a look” he said. 
“Pork roll, egg, and cheese on an everything bagel with salt, pepper, and ketchup is a New Jersey delicacy. Taylor ham is what the heathens in North Jersey call it. Taylor is a brand and legally they can’t call pork roll ham,” you said. Sam stared at you before shaking his head. 
“You’re...you know what I’m not going to even go there. Enjoy your food. Nurse Hardass was conveniently called away to another room when I got here,” he said. You smiled at him as you unwrapped your sandwich and took a bite.
“You’re the best, you know that?” you asked. The two of you made small talk as you ate. You had been checking in on Garrett daily. He was in a coma. You knew things weren’t looking good. Amanda and Carlos had both been in to see you, the two of them only suffering minor injuries. You were all worried about Garrett. He was like a brother to you, the first friend you had made when you joined the FDNY. 
Garrett had been your rock, the reason you never gave up. You weren’t ready for the possibility that he wouldn’t be there. Guilt weighed heavily on you. Sam could tell as he watched you when Amanda stopped by a short time later. Sam’s thoughts drifted as you and Amanda spoke. He was sure you had no idea what Natasha had told him.
“Your girl’s father? He’s ex-HYDRA,” Natasha said. Sam stared at her, mouth open as if he was about to say something, defend her. Natasha held a hand up before he could begin to argue.
“I’m not saying she’s HYDRA. But her father was. You mentioned the fire from when she was younger. Her father had been attacked. He was the only survivor other than her. She wasn’t home,” she said. Sam sighed.
“She said he was working for the governor then. Didn’t say much else,” Sam told her. 
“The governor was part of HYDRA,” Natasha said.
“You’re getting awful close to saying she knows something, Romanoff. If you think so, just come out and say it,” Sam snapped. 
“We have to consider all possibilities. Like it or not Sam, she is the one thing connecting this all together,” Natasha said.
Sam was pulled from his thoughts by you placing a hand on his arm. He hadn’t even noticed the nurse come in. 
“Do you have someone staying with you? At least for the first few days while you settle in,” the nurse said.
“I’ll be staying with her. If not me, one of our friends,” Sam said when he saw the deer in headlights look on your face. You let out a sigh of relief. You signed the papers for release and soon enough, you and Sam were on your way to your apartment.
“You don’t have to stay you know,” you told him. He smiled at you.
“I said I would, so I will,” Sam said. Amanda had swung by your place with groceries after she had left the hospital. Sam got you settled on your couch as he moved around your kitchen, getting dinner put together. 
After dinner, you could tell something was bothering Sam. You had turned on a movie you had seen a million times and turned toward him.
“Alright, out with it. What’s bothering you, birdman?” you asked. You knew he hated that nickname, except, it seemed, when it came from you. He sighed.
“Have you ever heard of HYDRA?” he asked. You frowned. It sounded familiar.
“Aren’t they the ones that caused that mess in DC a few years back and then there was some massive data dump?” you asked. You hadn’t paid much attention, aside from checking in on a friend who lived down in DC. 
“Yes. They date back decades. They infiltrated a secret governmental organization and other facets of government. We have reason to believe your father worked for them,” he said. You felt like someone had hit you in the stomach, knocking the air from your chest.
“My dad worked for the governor. After that...well. He couldn’t talk about his work. He worked for some government agency,” you said. Sam watched for any tell that you were lying.
“So you didn’t know anything about his work?” Sam asked.
“No. Sam, what’s going on?” you asked. He was about to answer when your phone rang. Amanda’s name lit up on your phone. You answered, only to have your phone fall from your hands as a sob tore through you. You barely registered Sam picking up your phone and talking to her. Garrett was gone. He was dead. 
“It’s my fault,” you said.
“It isn’t,” Sam said, pulling you close.
“If I had seen the wire sooner, I could have...I should’ve been...it’s my fault,” you said, unable to get a coherent sentence out. You weren’t sure how long Sam held you. If it was seconds, minutes, hours. He held you until the tears stopped and all that remained were dry sobs. He held you until your sobs quieted and sleep lured you in like a siren’s call. You were vaguely aware of him picking you up and placing you in your bed, under the covers. 
In the light of day, neither of you mentioned it and your conversation from the previous night moved to the backburner in his mind. HYDRA could wait. You couldn’t. 
The funeral was a few days later. It had been a blur for you. You thought about Garrett’s family, the guilt weighing on you. Sam was a constant. Anything you needed, he was there. You were sure you would have fallen to pieces if you hadn’t had him holding you up. Amanda and Carlos were great, but they had their own grief to work through. Their own grief to handle. Your entire unit did. You knew you weren’t the only one carrying guilt, but you felt like you were carrying the bulk of it. You had been in there with him. You had been the one to see the tripwire. You ran over the fire in your head over and over, replaying it as if it would change things. 
You felt awkward in your dress uniform with your arm still immobilized. You knew the Avengers would be there. As would the mayor. You tried to keep your mind off of what Sam had told you. He never did get to continue that conversation with you and there hadn’t been a good time to ask him about it. 
“You good, kiddo?” Carlos asked. While you couldn’t carry the casket in your condition, you were among those walking alongside the truck in the procession to the church, his helmet in your hands. 
“As good as I can be. Should have been me,” you said.
“Kiddo,” he said.
“I should have seen it sooner. If I had, we wouldn’t be standing here and I...I wouldn’t have to speak at one of my best friend’s funerals,” you said. He pulled you into a side hug, mindful of both your shoulder and the helmet in your hands. The helmet that felt like it weighed a ton. 
You moved in time with the others, a steady drumbeat playing. Line of duty deaths always hit hard. The streets were lined. Fellow firefighters and other New Yorkers lined the streets. As the procession arrived at the church, you kept your tears at bay. Amazing Grace began to play on bagpipes as the casket was lowered on the truck to be brought into the church. Garrett’s family was as Irish-American as they came, Catholic through and through. 
Entering the church, you had a role to play. Placing the helmet your friend wore at the front of the church, beside the casket. You turned and saw his wife. They had just welcomed their first child six months prior. Guilt washed over you once more. Your eyes darted around. You saw where the Avengers were sat, close to the front with other officials and dignitaries. Your unit was also toward the front. When your time came to speak you took a moment to find your words, standing at the podium.
Sam watched as you stood at the podium, your eyes shining in the harsh lights of the church. You didn’t look like a criminal mastermind. He was certain now more than ever that they could rule you out as a suspect. He had been with you when you found out. Held you while you cried. He was firmly in the camp that saw you as a victim of whatever mess was unfolding. He glanced around the packed church, spotting Natasha standing off to one side, her eyes scanning the crowd. Wanda was in the back somewhere and Clint was perched out of view. As you stared to speak, Sam kept his eyes on you as you made eye contact with him. 
“When Beth asked me if I would speak today, my gut instinct was to say no. I’ve been friends with Garrett since I joined the FDNY. And with that, came an easy friendship with his then girlfriend, now wife. Garrett was like a brother to me. He took me under his wing and taught me how to fly. He taught me how to stand up for myself. When I started, I was a quiet girl, who let too many things fly. Garrett refused to let that remain to be the case. Many here will remember Red Branigan. Red was the most senior guy on our crew and Red always gave me a hard time. 
It was Garrett that took pity on me. One day after a particularly bad call, Red was just letting me have it because I messed up. I wanted to cry. Garrett looked at me, told me to follow him, and I did. He sat me down and said ‘kid’ to which I looked at him and went ‘you’re a year older than me don’t call me kid’. He smiled and went ‘so, where’s that attitude when Red’s letting into you?’. I looked at him like he was crazy. He told me Red could tell I was holding back, that I wasn’t letting the team get to know me, the real me. So, he was doing what Red does. He was poking the bear hoping for a reaction to break the ice.
Garrett always had my back. I just wish I’d had his. I wish he was here. I wish he would get to see his little girl grow up. Because he deserves that. He deserves to be here. I know that wishing for him to be back won’t change things, but that doesn’t stop me from making that wish. He was my best friend. He was my brother. He was a loving son, brother, husband, and father. We will never forget the life he lived. The happiness he brought into our lives. He lives on in our hearts and we will carry him with us always,” you said, your voice cracking at the end. 
As the procession moved back outside to head to the cemetery, a shot rang out. You gasped in pain. It was a moment before chaos unfolded. You watched as Bucky Barnes took off toward something as someone caught you. Your brain caught up to the pain radiating from your shoulder as the initial panic started to fade. 
You were in a daze until you got to a medical facility. You knew it wasn’t a hospital. You looked at Sam, a question on your lips. Tony Stark had donned his Iron Man suit to get you away from the scene. Sam had followed behind.
“What the hell,” you muttered.
“We had a tip off that something was happening today. It’s about time we had that chat about your dad,” Sam said as Helen Cho entered the room.
“That talk can wait until after I treat my patient,” Dr. Cho said before introducing herself to you. Your world was about to get turned upside down. 
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sinsbymanka · 5 years ago
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50 Questions You Have Never Been Asked
Tagged by @lostinfantasies38! Tagging - @tuffypelly, @corylion, @eranehn, @silvanils, @fandomn00blr, @odekiax, and whoever else wants in!
1. What is the color of your hairbrush?
And immediately I have to reveal how high maintenance I am. I have four. They’re red, teal, and black and they’re all different no matter what my husband says. 
2. A food you never eat?
Tapioca - I’m allergic (which is a shame because BUBBLE TEA. It looks so fun!!) 
3. Are you typically too warm or too cold?
Always cold - I struggle with pretty chronic iron deficiency so I’m an icicle. 
4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?
I think I was eating Chinese food? 
5. What is your favorite candy bar?
Twix. Either side. 
6. Have you ever been to a professional sporting event?
I have been to far too many. The only ones I like are hockey (yay!) but I’ve been to Basketball and Baseball games. The last time I went to a basketball game, I read a novel on my phone. Husband was not amused. 
7. What was the last thing you said out loud?
"Why are you like this?” - To the infamous watermelon head puppers as he put his whole damn noggin on my shoulder. 
8. What is your favorite ice cream?
Mint chocolate chip. 
9. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Cream top tea from the Chinese restaurant
10. Do you like your wallet?
It’s the best wallet I’ve ever owned and I’ve had it for like four years. I refuse to get another one. 
11. What was the last thing you ate?
Cold sesame noodles and dumplings
12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?
I don’t think so but I’ve done a lot of online shopping, it’s all a blur. I just wait to see what shows up in the mail. 
13. The last sporting event you watched?
Does watching my husband play NBA 2K20 count? If no - then I think we went to a minor league hockey game in January or February? 
14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?
ALRIGHT. Bear with me. Pop your popcorn and then dump some hidden valley ranch dressing mix seasoning packets on it. BEST. THING. EVER. (I’ve been told you can buy ranch seasoning shakers for popcorn, but I’ve never tried them, I just use the seasoning packets) 
15. Who was the last person you sent a text message to?
My Husband: “I love you too babe.” cause we’re sweet like that. 
16. Ever go camping?
Yes, I’m not a fan. I’m like a houseplant - I like the idea of outside but if you put me out there I will die.  
17. Do you take vitamins?
So many. 
18. Do you go to church every Sunday?
Nope and I never will again. 
19. Do you have a tan?
Not currently, but I do tan! God bless whoever the swarthy skin tone came from. 
20. Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?
Chinese food. 
21. Do you drink your soda with a straw?
No? What kind of monster does this on the regular? Don’t use straws unless you have to - it’s bad for the turtles. 
22. What color socks do you usually wear?
I dislike socks - I usually wear tights because I’m wearing skirts and dresses. 
23. Ever drive above the speed limit?
The better question: Do you ever drive below the speed limit? 
24. What terrifies you?
Many things. The biggest thing, lately, is that I’m not doing enough to get this world back on track and that I should be doing more. The time for discussion, negotiation, and bargaining for basic human rights is over. I want to smash windows, tear down institutions, and torch mansions. 
25. Look to your left what do you see? 
Watermelon head, just where he always is. 
26. What chore do you hate?
I hate the sound of the vacuum cleaner. Absolutely hate it. 
27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?
Immediately of Steve Irwin. I watched a shit ton of animal planet as a child. 
28. What is your favorite soda?
I can’t drink soda very often because it makes be a bit ill - but I love coke. 
29. Do you go into a fast food place or just hit the drive through? 
I also can’t have fast food often because it me very ill. So when I do stop - it’s usually to satisfy my ever present french fry craving and I feel silly going in and ordering one thing. 
30. Who was the last person you talked to?
The chinese food delivery guy or watermelon head if he counts. 
31. Favorite cut of beef?
The other thing that makes me sick! I rarely eat beef, even when I cook it for my husband. The only thing I usually can’t resist is a mean sloppy joe or taco - so that would be ground beef done extra lean which probably doesn’t count. 
32. Last song you listened to?
This is Me - Kesha from The Greatest Showman soundtrack 
33. Last book you read?
Also fanfiction. I have no spoons for new fiction at this time. I’m making my way through some nonfiction books slowly - “Michael and Natasha” by Rosemary and Donald Crawford is my current choice. 
34. Favorite day of the week?
Fridays? 
35. Can you say the alphabet backwards?
Possibly? 
36. How do you like your coffee?
Flavored creamer if possible - if not just cream. I never seem to get the sugar ratio right on my own. 
37. Favorite pair of shoes?
My utterly impractical, goes with one outfit, red high heeled mary jane’s. God I love those shoes. 
38. At what time do you usually go to bed?
Between 10 and 11p - I take medicine that knocks me out pretty quick at night. 
39. At what time do you normally get up?
Between 5 and 7a? I don’t know when I turned into my father - but I’m up with the fucking sun no matter what. 
40. What do you prefer - sunrises or sunsets?
Sunrises - especially over the ocean. 
41. How many blankets are on your bed?
On the bed? Two. Beside my side of the bed? Four more. Plus the dog has a blanket. Don’t judge me. 
42. Describe your kitchen plates?
Vintage find - white with yellow and orange daffodils. 
43. Do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage?
Wine to get started, but I almost always end up switching to whiskey if I’m out. 
44. Do you play cards?
I learned to play poker very young and I’m surprisingly good at it. 
45. What color is your car?
It’s called Seafoam, which is a pretty pearlescent green <-- same?! @lostinfantasies38 do you drive a Subaru too? 
46. Can you change a tire?
YES. My father, when he was losing his eyesight and I was sixteen, wanted me to know how to change my own oil and my own tires cause “he wouldn’t be able to see to do it.” Before that makes you too sad - he 100% still sat in the driveway and listened to me do these things while offering “advice.” Bonus: I was one of the only people of either gender I knew in college who could do these things. 
Do I actually do them any longer? fuck no. I don’t want to get dirty and I got myself a husband. 
47. What is your favorite province? 
I’ve only ever been to Toronto, so whatever province that’s in.
48. Favorite job you ever had?
I don’t know if I have a favorite? I’ve gotten to travel a lot in my current job, and I’ve done a lot of presentations and met a lot of people I wouldn’t have otherwise, plus it’s less hazardous to my mental health. So. Grantwriter/Researcher it is. 
49. How did you get your biggest scar?
In November 2019 (which seems like forever ago but I know it wasn’t) I was rear-ended by an 18 wheeler on the highway. It was a nasty crash and I still can’t quite drive on the highway. I was actually nearly completely unscathed despite rolling my car and it being totaled. I emerged with a concussion and two cuts - one on the back of my left hand which is small. I had another shallow cut which is mostly hidden under my hair, but I can feel the scar. It does creep out under my hair onto my forehead about a half-inch. 
50. What did you do today that made someone happy?
On my morning walk with watermelon head, we stopped outside our neighbors house to wave through the window so their kiddos could see puppers. Judging from their faces - they were pretty happy (but who wouldn’t be to be greeted with watermelon head?) 
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imhereforbvcky · 5 years ago
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Vivid - Part 4
Masterlist  -  Series Masterpage
Summary: Have you ever met someone who completely embodies a color? Not an aura, not synesthesia. Just… They walk into the room and when you spot them, you think to yourself, “Wow. That is a walking hurricane.” When Clint Barton serendipitously meets a free-spirited stranger, he sees red. Chapter: After dropping in on Clint unexpectedly, you are the one left surprised. 
Word Count: 2641
A/N: I’m not even going to pretend I didn’t go for the low-hanging fruit of plot points here. Sorry, not that sorry. I grew tired of belaboring series for the sake of ingenuity. It’s fanfiction, not a pulitzer novel. I want to enjoy writing it sometimes.
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1:30am was early. Or was it late, technically if you hadn’t slept yet? Too late for most people, at any rate. But not for you, and not for Clint.
It had been that kind of week and you’d celebrated its conclusion with that kind of night. Which had led you giggling and bumbling into the bodega. And that excursion, of course, then led to thinking of Clint so fondly that you decided to drop by his place.
At 1:30 in the morning.
Totally normal.
“Clint!” Your voice clanged through the open windows of his apartment where he had slung himself over the couch with a two year old bag of frozen peas against his cheek.
He bolted upright, waiting as if he’d dreamt it, as if it had been some phantom of the concussion he was now sporting. Natasha stood in the kitchen, stuffing spinach into the blender but perked an eyebrow at him. He ignored her with great effort.
“Clint, buzz me in!” you called again and this time he crawled to the window and peeked just over the sill, fingertips clinging to the peeling wood. “My hands are full!”
He could see now that it was true. You balanced an enormous pizza box on one forearm and squished a tub of ice cream and a 2-litre of coke in the other.
“Shut the fuck up!” a neighbor hollered and Clint cringed, ducking back below the window.
“You shut the fuck up!” You snapped back.
Clint chuckled from his spot with his back to the wall, knees curled to his chest with the streetlight’s orange glow shooting just over him like a failed search-light.
This was one of the things he liked about you, though it scared him: you were trouble, red hot emotion constantly bubbling just below the surface. Sure, you laughed quickly, but you also cried at Finding Nemo, and angered to boiling at the very first offense. His neighbor experienced the full force of it tonight.
“It’s 1:30 in the morning! Go home!”
“Yeah, I’m aware, Greg. Thanks for the time check!” you shouted back. “Clint! Pizza – burning! Ice cream – freezing!”
“This is bullshit,” the neighbor grumbled. “I’m callin’ the cops!”
“You do that! You fuckin’ do that!”
Natasha snorted from the kitchen. “Are you gonna get that or?”
“When they get here, I’ll make sure to mention those neat little five-leaf plants you’ve got in your bathroom window! They’re so green!” You continued your tirade until you heard the sharp buzz of the door unlocking. “And the smell, boy I think a skunk might’ve walked by…!”
“Fuck you!”
“Nice chat, Greg!” you hollered as you tugged the door open with your elbow.
Inside Natasha stood at the intercom with a wicked grin on her lips. Clint buried his face in his hands, elbows on his knees.
“Why did you do that? Ow!” he complained at the pressure of his own hands on his bruised cheekbone.
“Because you didn’t,” she shrugged, propping the door open by the deadbolt. “Were you just going to let your girl get arrested? That is her right? Your secret person?”
“She’s not a secret. She’s also not… my girl.”
“If it’s not a secret why were you hiding?”
“Because it’s almost 2am and you’re here! What do you think she’ll make of that?” he snapped.
Natasha scowled at him. “That I’m your friend. Who’s keeping an eye on you after you got pistol-whipped by a Hulk-sized alien on an assignment.”
Before Clint could complain further you were pushing through the door.
“Okay, I got pepperoni because I’m cheap and let’s be honest; it’s the best.”
He’d jumped to his feet to help you, taking the pizza as you shifted the ice cream and coke out of your arms.
“Pepperoni’s my favorite.” He smiled something soft and warm.
Spending time with Clint always felt like no time at all. Like you were exactly where you needed to be and time didn’t matter. Every last thing felt comfortable and content and you didn’t worry about a damn thing. The buzzing fire in your veins settled to a cool shiver. Your favorite place in the city was standing right there under the relaxed  calm of his smile.
“Yeah, I know,” you grinned, finally turning your eyes up to him. The smile dropped as quickly as it came. “Holy shit! Your face!”
“I mean, I know I’m no Steve Rogers, but that’s a little harsh,” he joked.
“It’s a very good face, except for the grapefruit sized bruise,” you cooed, holding his chin and turning his head side with exaggerated scrutiny. “What the hell happened?!”
Finally, your fingers slid over the sides of his neck until they rested on his shoulder. It was just a light touch, just a flutter, just enough to excite a shiver up his neck and over his scalp. Goosebumps prickled across his skin as the only evidence.
“Jerk snuck up on me,” he hedged. This wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have, so he shrugged and tipped his head, leaning slightly into your lingering touch. “I’ve had worse.”
“You need some ice.”
Despite all his wishing, you released him. Your fingertips still tingled with the scratch of his stubble as you’d moved over his skin.
The second you turned for the kitchen, your racing heart stopped completely.
“I… h-hi,” you managed, eyes wide and frozen on Natasha.
She waved her fingers in a fluid sweep and pulsed the blender on the smoothie she’d been graciously waiting to finish making.
“Did uh…” you murmured, turning to Clint while he lifted to his cheek the pack of frozen peas Natasha had tossed at him not ten minutes earlier. “Did you know there’s an Avenger in your kitchen?”
He chuckled, glancing to Natasha whose brow pinched together slightly for the briefest moment.
“Uh, yeah. Yeah, she’s keeping an eye on the…” he pointed to his cheek, to the violent purple bruise blossoming across his skin like the purple-black petals of a superstition iris.
“Uh-huh. Uh-huh,” you answered, eyes back on Natasha, in total awe. You’d seen her on CNN for fuck’s sake. She exposed HYDRA. And told Capitol Hill to fuck off. And not even the deepest halls of the US government knew what else.
Yet here she stood in your friend’s kitchen. At two in the morning.
“She and I… we go way back…” Clint started and stopped. How the hell was he supposed to explain his relationship with Nat? It was well beyond friendship, closer than family. There was so much love, but not the same kind of stomach flipping, tongue glued to your teeth, tripping over your feet sort of love that clawed up from somewhere long forgotten whenever you breezed into the room, all red and alive and gleaming. Either relationship was well beyond words to Clint. Certainly beyond his word bank.
“Oh,” you nodded. Then a moment later, “Oh!”
Natasha caught your assumption immediately and turned to Clint with a sharp look. He was too busy trying to find words that would never suffice to stop the freight train that had just jumped the tracks in your mind.
“I… you guys are…” you stammered, walking backward toward the door and pointing between them. “I just didn’t think you had a um… Well not that you couldn’t,” you laughed anxiously. “I mean, you’re funny and so kind and you’ve got those arms there, and shit,” you slammed an open palm on your forehead. “I’m just uh… I’m gonna go.”
By the time you’d finished rambling you had backed your way to the door with a thumb pointing over your shoulder. Without another fumbled word, you spun on the spot and slipped out.
“Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.” Clint complained. With each curse, his forehead thunked against the counter top
“Probably not good for the concussion, Barton,” Natasha chuckled
“That’s alright. A coma would be better right about now anyway.”
There was a light knock before you peeked back inside. Clint perked up and breathed your name, relieved beyond words to see your face again, when he’d thought he’d blown it, lost it already and entirely.
“I’m just gonna…” you took three long strides to the kitchen and swiped the tub of ice cream off the counter before scampering back out with even more haste.
Natasha burst into laughter. Chest full, and dimples deeply carved with mirth. Clint slid to the floor with a groan.
“So are you gonna stop her or do I have to do everything?”
“Stop her how? Say what?”
“Well for starters tell her you’re an Avenger. We’re teammates and frie—“
“She knows who I am,” he grumbled, reaching overhead for the pizza box.
“She knows Clint Barton, the idiot who drinks coffee all night long and eats way too much pizza. The guy who’s always there at two a.m., who makes her laugh, and who apparently has nice arms,” she chuckled.
“Shut up,” he argued with a grin slowly dragging over his face.
“She absolutely does not know what you do for a living.” She handed him the smoothie and he scowled at it.
“I saw her at a promotional fundraiser,” he argued. “She had to know. It’s the only reason I was there.”
“Clint. You were SHIELD first: a spy. Your identity was protected. Then the battle of New York, you mostly kept to rooftops; the media didn’t exactly get any close-ups. You don’t do the press meetings. Unless someone’s looking for Hawkeye especially… you can get away with being a little bit anonymous.”
“Shit,” he mumbled through a bite of pizza. “She said something about there being Avengers at the fundraiser, I thought she was joking! And she totally froze when she recognized you… She has no idea, does she?”
Natasha offered a sympathetic look and a shrug.
“This is embarrassing. How have I never talked about work?”
“I think it’s nice,” she curled up on the floor next to him, stealing a sip of the smoothie. “She just likes you. And you have something outside of the job. It’s good. You need that. We all do.”
He nodded, scooping up another slice of pizza. “I need to tell her though.”
“Obviously.”
“How does she not see it?”
“That you’re Hawkeye or that you’re head over heels?”
He scowled at her and pushed his glass back into her hands. “This smoothie’s gross.”
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A week and a half later and Clint had not told you a thing. Instead, he crouched on the edge of the rooftop, peering down at the row of warehouses. Some of them were abandoned. The rest had simply gone still for the night.
Steady fingers spread like a claw over the concrete. Lightly booted feet curled into sharp demi-pointe. If he weren’t in dark leather and neoprene, strapped over and over with sleek pointed weapons and exactly one SHIELD issue handgun, he might’ve looked like a dancer. Clint was always light on his feet, tall and strong in a way that made him agile and lithe.
“Something’s not right,” he worried aloud, clear blue eyes flashing on the small group of giggling twenty-somethings that teetered into the building he was meant to be watching. Abandoned warehouse, one door east and two south of his position.
“Ya think?” Bucky grumbled, watching through the scope of his rifle as the last of them disappeared behind the heavy steel door. The distant ker-thunk of its closing echoed up to his ears a moment later and his finger twitched over the safety. He knew it was in place. Bucky knew his guns like they were permanently attached to his body, but he checked it just in case.
These did not look like the villains they were after.
“That’s the sixth group of idiots in band tees to go in since we got up here.” Clint relaxed by a hair now that there was nothing and no one to see down below. His heels met concrete once more, and he squared his body over his knees. He still looked ready to leap, but less like he was mid-lunge, less like a swooping predator. “It’s supposed to be empty.”
Empty except for the group dealers the Avengers had tracked down. The ones who serviced illegally salvaged alien weaponry out of the abandoned warehouse one building east and two south of Clint’s current perch. The club they intended to lasso tonight in the building that was now teeming with bystanders.
“Only question now…” Bucky dragged the cross-hairs of his scope onto a new group headed toward the building. “Is whether it’s just bad intel, or a set up.”
Clint sighed and turned his attention to the small group as well. A couple of women. They seemed happy. One of them passed something small to another and hopped forward, a small dance in every step. Clint hadn’t noticed he was smiling. It was small and involuntary, the tiniest curve of his lips. The woman threw her head back and held a bottle to her lips, no doubt singing into it. Clint caught a glimmer of color when they passed under a street light and froze.
Red.
“No, no, no, no, no,” he murmured, rapid-fire. This time, crouching further even than before, his fingers curled around the thick ledge of the wall and his feet remained beneath him, arched up on pads, ready to leap.
“What?” Bucky pulled away from his scope, scanning the area for danger, for whatever had Clint so literally on edge. “What do you see?” Eye back on the scope, he saw nothing unusual about the group. So he swept the door, the windows, the roof of the building. Empty. “Clint!”
“Not here,” his voice was a breathless plea. “She shouldn’t be here.”
“Who?!”
Clint looked frantic, fingers gripping and regripping the rough ledge like every fresh hold bolstered him in place, reminded him that he was part of a team and he needed to hold his position.
“Barton!” Bucky barked again. “Who?”
“The one with the coke bottle!”
“Yeah?” Bucky settled on her through the scope, red bottle, red cap inches from equally red lips. Same band tee as everyone else. To Bucky, a harmless, unremarkable civilian. “I’m not seeing it, man. This is a live mission, Clint! If you see something off, you’ve gotta tell me. Who the hell is she?”
“She’s—she’s… I don’t know… We--I…”
Agitated by his partner’s distress, Bucky followed the woman, kept her tightly within his cross-hairs and with a gentle practiced finger snapped the safety off.
“She’s a friend. A… She’s my person.”
“Are you fucking kidding me, Barton?!” Bucky clicked the safety back in place and glared at his partner, his friend. He was ready to fire on a civilian because Clint couldn’t form a sentence when he laid eyes on a goddamn crush.
“I’ve got action on the southwest corner,” Sam’s voice crackled over the comlink. “Definitely packing.”
Bucky, still glaring at Clint, saw his eyes go wide and the decision flash firm in his jaw. Bucky only managed two words after that.
“Clint, don’t—!“
But Clint had already launched himself over the edge of the building.
It wasn’t a long drop. The buildings weren’t skyscrapers, just a couple of stories high, just enough for a few forklifts to create monuments to forgotten consumerism out of crates and pallets.
His landing was loud anyway. Clint rolled onto the empty roof of a delivery truck with the deep bellow of reverberating aluminum. The noise was thunderous, almost matching Bucky’s anger, but Clint kept rolling, right down the windshield until he found his feet on the hood and leapt forward onto crumbling pavement. Then he ran.
“The hell was that?” Natasha worried in Bucky’s earpiece.
“Barton’s lost his goddamn mind over a girl,” he grumbled in answer. “He’s on the ground now. I’ll cover.”
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Chapter 5 >>
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venusloveslobotomies · 5 years ago
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Pyromania (Bucky x Reader) 8
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   Summary: (Winter Soldier-Endgame Insert) You’re an enhanced HYDRA agent who negotiated her way out of being a weapon. You’re now the nurse/ aid of the Winter Soldier. You end up escaping with him and follow him in and out of danger while slowly developing feelings for each other.   Words: 3000+ (approx)   Chapter: 8/?   Part 7
  When I wake up, I’m on the ground somewhere. I sit up way too quickly and I almost pass out again immediately. Some kind of warehouse or… something. I remember falling and hitting the water and then… nothing. Behind me someone moves and I spin around, only to find Bucky waking up. His arm is caught in a sort of vice.   I move forwards and wrap my hands around his face, muttering apologies in Russian. His free hand traps mine there. I press my lips softly to his forehead. He starts trying to get up and I hear Sam’s voice for a moment and then footsteps. I turn around and see Rogers and Wilson approaching us cautiously. 
   “Steve,”    “Which Bucky am I talking to?” He’s clearly uneasy.    “Your mom’s name was Sarah,” He pauses before chuckling, “You used to wear newspapers in your shoes,”    “Can’t read that in a museum,” Steve smirks a bit.    “Just like that, we’re supposed to be cool?”    “I dropped him,” The two men look to me, “Used the fail-safe. It’s not even written down in his files. Say a word, he drops unconscious and switches out of it,” They nod but still seem unsure.    “What did I do?” Bucky manages to get out.    “Enough,”    “Oh god. I knew this would happen,” His voice breaks a little and so does my heart, “Everything HYDRA put inside me is still there. All he had to do is say the goddamn words,”    “Who was he?”    “I don’t know,”    “The bombing, the setup… The doctor did all that just to get 10 minutes with you. I need you to do better than ‘I don’t know’”    “Hey! Ok. That’s enough. Give him a fucking break!” I stand up.    “N/N, don’t,”    “He’s been through hell and back. He wakes up and you’re already interrogating him. Maybe back off a little!” My voice has been rising in volume and I find myself standing directly in front of Steve, “I’m not scared of you. And unlike my soldier, I don’t have any issues with hurting you to deal with you!”    “Y/N, stop,” I whirl around, “He’s just trying to help us,” I huff, debating whether it was worth punching his face but decide against it and march back to Bucky’s side and crouch beside him, “He wanted to know about Siberia. Where I was kept. He wanted to know exactly where,”    “Well, fuck,” I mutter quietly. Only one reason anyone would want to go there.    “Why would he need to know that?”    “Because I’m not the only Winter Soldier,”
  Watching Soldat train was certainly not my favorite activity. It was stressful and I disliked the other supersoldiers. One in particular was very aggressive.   Today was no exception. The rest of the nurses and I stood by on benches next to our soldiers. I stood with Konstantinov, Soldat’s current handler. Watching a pair of them compete in hand-to-hand, I bounced slightly on my toes. Soldat gave me a look but I ignored him.   I was getting nervous as Soldat started to spar with the angry one. I held my breath as they fought. The other one managed to get a grip on his arm and then kicked him across the room. He landed next to me after hitting the wall.    “You’ll have to do better,” Konstantinov scoffed, “Good work,” He directed towards the other one.   I bent down and pressed my palm to his cheek before he stood up. While the other one’s nurse took his heart rate, he slammed the poor guy onto the ground after breaking his arm.   One of the guards hit him with a stick but it hardly did anything. Konstantinov cocked his gun, “Soldat, get me out of here,” I followed them out of the room while the other soldiers turned on the guards and the nurses. We ended up in a safe part of the facility while the others were sedated.
   “Who were they?”    “Their most elite death squad. More kills than anyone in HYDRA history,”     “And that was before the serum,” I add, shaking my head.    “They all turn out like you?” Sam seemed edgy now,    “Worse,”     “The doctor,” Steve asked, “Could he control them?”    “Enough,”    “Said he wanted to see an empire fall,”     “With these guys he could do it,” I stand up, “They speak 30 languages, can hide in plain sight, infiltrate, assassinate, destabilise. They can take a whole country down in one night, you’d never see them coming. We were taught the same things too, the enhanced,”    “This would have been a lot easier a week ago,” Sam says to Steve.   They release his arm from the vice, still talking.    “If we call Tony-”    “No, he won’t believe us,”    “Even if he did, who knows if the Accords will let him help?” I turn my focus back to Bucky, who’s trying to calm down again. I run my fingers through his hair and remind him to breathe.   We end up in a really old car, squished in. We were flown to Germany for whatever reason. I’ve relaxed my head against Bucky’s shoulder and when we stop I see that blue-haired girl, Selene, step out of a different car to meet Steve.   After a few minutes of chatting and what-not, they kiss and I smile a bit. Steve seems nice, I can understand why she’s into him. Yeah, he’s pretty but he’s not my Soldat.   He tosses his shield and something else in the back before we drive to the airport.
  We park and get out. I’m on high alert, definitely not liking the parking lot. We meet a man and a young woman climbing out of a white van. They greet Steve while Buck and I lean on the car.   I run my hands over his face softly, knowing a fight is coming. He leans his head into it and my heart skips a beat. I touch his cheekbones, the tip of his nose, his lips. I sigh a little before dropping my hands to my side.   I focus on another guy who’s stepped out. He seems… Weird. I shrug it off and the girl waves at me. I wave back but jump a little when Bucky says loudly,    “We should get moving,”     “We’ve got a chopper lined up,” The first guy tells us. Over the intercom, a voice tells passengers to evacuate in German.    “They’re evacuating the airport,” I say thoughtfully. That’s not good.    “Stark,” Sam sighs.    “Suit up,” Steve instructs everyone. Bucky and I don’t exactly have much so he pulls on the leather jacket from our bag that Selene retrieved and I yank on the harness and my fireproof long sleeve and make do with my baggy jeans. I grip his hands while he mentally prepares himself to fight. 
 Steve runs out alone to the helicopter but is quickly intercepted by Iron Man. Cool. This will go down well. I keep count as more arrive. Another ‘Iron Man’ who arrived with Stark. The same one who stopped us in Romania. The man in the cat suit who I now know as King T’Challa. Natasha and another girl with pink hair. Some strange younger boy in a suit. He takes Steve’s shield with some sticky web stuff. I’m not a fan of that.   I move to sit with Wilson and Bucky while they scout for their Quinjet. Sam finds it quickly enough and lets Rogers know.   Immediately Lang and Barton initiate combat and the three of us start sprinting towards the jet. The kid hits the window as we’re running.    “What the hell is that?” I laugh at Bucky’s face, a mixture of confusion and horror.     “Everyone’s got a gimmick now,” Sam rolls his eyes and runs faster. I know he’s struggling to keep up with our pace. I find it difficult already to slow down enough for Bucky, let alone a normal person.   The kid busts through the window and kicks Sam. Hard. I skid to a stop and Bucky turns around to punch him but the spider-kid catches it.    “You have a metal arm? That is awesome, dude!” Ok, that’s disturbing. How did he not go flying? I can see Bucky trying to work that out as well before Sam grabs the kid and continues to fly through the airport.   I’m still standing there when Bucky practically throws me over his shoulder and starts running again.     “Put me down, suka!” I hit his back but he still keeps a grip on me. He does drop me a few seconds later though and flings a huge chunk of… something at the kid. He pulls me behind a pillar. He looks back to check if he hit.    “Hey buddy, I think you lost this!” The hunk of metal comes flying back at us and Bucky throws himself on top of me. I shove him off, ready to set the kid on fire when Sam starts fighting him again.   Bucky grabs my harness and starts dragging me. I see Wilson hit the floor and then get stuck to a railing. Bucky seems to forget he’s got me in tow when he flings himself in front of Sam to protect him from the kid kicking him. We all hit the ground and I’m momentarily unaware of what happens. I see Bucky’s metal arm trapped to the ground with more of that nasty web stuff but I’m too dizzy for it to make much sense.     “You couldn’t have done that earlier?”    “I hate you,” Wilson groans. I sit up but I’m overcome by a wave of nausea. Fuck. I’m definitely concussed. I know I can push through the effects of it but for the moment I just sit there, trying to hang on to whatever remains in my stomach.    “Sunny? Sunshine? Y/N!” I jolt and realise Bucky’s been yelling at me. I wave my hand before jumping up and throwing up somewhere behind a wall.    “I’m good. Let’s get out of here,” I groan. Now that that’s done, I’ll be fine. Bucky’s not having any of it though. He holds his hand out and I begrudgingly allow him to hoist me onto his back, “You’re slow enough without me,” I grumble.    “I lift 400 pounds. You’re nothing,” We start running again and make it outside, meeting Steve and the others. We stop abruptly when some floating figure cuts a line in front of us. Great! Another issue.     “Captain Rogers. I know you believe what you’re doing is right but for the collective good, you must surrender now,” I slide off of Bucky’s back.    “What do we do, Cap?” Wilson mutters.    “We fight,” We all move forward to meet them, jogging, then breaking into a run.   I lock eyes with the pink-haired girl. I meet her and get a good grip on her, trying to wrap my arms around her neck. I’m aware of Bucky on my right, locked in battle with T’Challa. She’s really good at hand-to-hand combat though, and definitely stronger than me. My agility makes me a good match though, and we lose and gain position often. Her fight pattern is uncomfortably familiar and I can’t help but wonder why I recognize it. She jerks away quickly when I grab her hands, which have gripped my harness. I feel their heat and I know I can’t control it for much longer. I use that to backsault out of it and run towards Bucky.   He gets thrown into the side of a box and is clearly winded. T’Challa moves to strike him and I put all my energy into sprinting into him. I slam into his whole body and send him flying. Wanda, the girl who waved at me in the car park, catches him with her weird magic stuff and throws him through a plane tunnel. I salute her before yanking Bucky to his feet.   He’s a little bit out of it so I use all my strength to pull him along, as fast as I can go. Steve meets us and we stop for a moment.    “We gotta go. That guy’s probably in Siberia by now,” He’s panting. Hard.    “We gotta draw out the flyers,” Steve responds.    “I’ll take Vision, you get to the jet,”    “No, you get to the jet. The three of you,” Sam calls in over the comms. Clint agrees.    “Alright, Sam, what’s the play?”     “We need a diversion. Something big,” I consider sending myself to a plane or one of the buildings to blow it up.    “Don’t,” Buck grips my wrist so hard I think for a moment he might break it,   “You’re not playing kamikaze again,” I nod, but still consider it.    “I got something kinda big, but I can’t hold it very long,” Lang says over the comms, “On my signal, run like hell. And if I tear myself in half, don’t come back for me,”    “He’s gonna tear himself in half?” Bucky shakes his head. We all wait for a moment.   Lang transforms until he’s huge. Like. Bigger than the planes, “You go ahead. We can catch up,” Buck breathes in my ear. I almost shake my head but the look he gives me scares me a little. And that’s saying something. I nod but quickly press my lips to his.     “Run fast,” I whisper.    “I guess that’s the signal,” Rogers is still staring at Scott.   I take off running, knowing no one will catch me. I don’t look back, no matter how much I want to. I hear burning behind me and realise I’m running on flaming feet. That might be cool and all, if it was because of how fast I was running. But the truth is simply that I’m upset and worried about my Soldat.   I reach the jet and skid to a stop. I try to put out the flames but I’m getting myself more and more worked up the more I try to extinguish them.     “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” I stamp my feet. My hands are also burning.   I hear a crashing and see a building coming down over the entrance to the hangar. I rush to reach Steve and Bucky, who are just about to reach me when it stops. Wanda is holding it, barely. Something happens and she has to let it go but Steve and Bucky make it in. I fling myself at my soldier and his arms wrap tightly around me, picking me up and carrying me into the jet. My feet and hands must’ve gone out.   Steve starts it up and we fly out of the hangar. Bucky collapses to the ground, still holding me so hard I can hardly breathe. I don’t care though and knot my fingers into his hair.      “Breathe, doll. You need to breathe,” He whispers into my ear as I fight down sobs. I’m not sure why I’m so upset now. Of all the times to be upset. I must look insane, my eyes are wide, staring straight into his. It’s the sight of those striking blue eyes that make my heart flutter.   His hand reaches for my face and I allow him to brush back my hair and stroke my cheek. I calm down enough to feel us speed up. We must have Stark and the other guy on our tail. Bucky settles himself in a seat and straps himself in. I sit on his lap and try to calm the anxiety in my chest.   We fly for an hour before I start to relax. I find a first aid kit and deal with Bucky’s cuts. I make a fuss over the tiniest things and he allows me. Normally he’d brush me off and try to make me sit down but he must think it’s better to allow himself to be fussed over again. I finally finish and my hands are still shaking.   Why I’m on edge, I’m not sure.
Bucky
  “Kang Y/N,” She freezes, startled at the use of her full name. She locks eyes with Bucky, “You are going to be fine,” He knows that it’s because they’re returning to Siberia. To where both of them were held against our will. She shakes her head and sits down across from him, “What’s going to happen to your friends?”    “Whatever it is…” Steve’s voice breaks a little, “I’ll deal with it,”    “I don’t know if I’m worth all this, Steve,” He sighs. She exhales and buries her face in her hands.    “What you did all those years. It wasn’t you,” Steve is quiet when he says it but there’s a weight behind his words, “You didn’t have a choice,”    “I know. But I did it,” She stands up.    “Shut up,” Bucky opens his mouth but snaps it shut when he sees her face. It’s dark, her eyes are filling with tears, “Don’t even fucking… Just. Don’t,” She’s been on edge since the airport and this conversation isn’t helping. She walks to sit on the floor of the jet, towards the back.   He moves to sit next to Steve.    “She really cares about you,” His voice is hushed.    “I guess,”     “Don’t give me that,” He rubs his eyes, “She wouldn’t be here right now if she didn’t. I see the way she looks at you. It’s… A lot. The way she hovers over you, fusses about your injuries, always ends up back at your side. I’ve never seen anyone like that before,” Bucky considers his words for a moment.   After HYDRA and SHIELD. After the crash. She was there, obviously looking for him. She came with him, knowing she’d be killed if they were caught. The way she fought to stay by his side after they were taken from Romania.   According to Steve, she’d jumped right off the roof for him. She’s always been like that though. It’s always been… Y/N and Bucky. He’d never really considered it until now.     “Do you think she…”    “I’m not blind, Buck. She kissed you. That’s not just a friend thing,” He smirks at Bucky. He looks back over at her. She’s clearly still nursing a headache and God knows what other effects of a concussion. Her head rests in her hands as she sits on the floor.   He knows he felt his heart skip a beat when she kissed him. It always does when she touches him. He’d always just put it down to the fact that every other instance of physical contact in his life had been violent.    But maybe it was something else…
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dontcare77ghj · 4 years ago
Text
Bedside Manner
Natasha x reader x Wanda x Pepper
Tony had renovated an entire floor of the Tower into a medical wing out of necessity. He'd employed an array of doctors to be on standby because he had to. Made sure there were enough medical treatments for enhanced and non-enhanced individuals alike.
Tony did all this because the Avengers were a bunch of clumsy fools. 
Those were Tony's words whenever someone asked him to describe the team. 
Natasha would usually cut in and add that he was apart of that statement, which would generally cause a small argument between the two.
You and Pepper would fondly roll your eyes at the two before Pepper would change the topic.
If you wanted to be honest, the four of you spent too much time in the medical wing for your liking.
For Natasha and Wanda, it was an occupational hazard. The two were Avengers. They defended the Earth against aliens, and assholes too injuries were a part of the job.
You had also been put into the medical wing a handful of times. Not because you were an Avenger, no, you were a civilian, but because you were just a klutz in general. Something your partners found very endearing to your embarrassment. 
Pepper was the only one in your relationship that didn't find herself in a hospital bed every other weekend. The woman could be hopping a marathon in ten-inch heels and not so much as falter.
Waking up in the medical wing, in a bed or by someone's bedside, became a regular occurrence in your relationship, much to Pepper's horror. 
"Knock, knock." You rapped on Pepper's door. "I had an appointment with my favorite CEO." You smirked, leaning in the doorway.
"Sweetheart, I didn't know you were coming." Pepper smiled, looking up from her work.
"I wanted to surprise you." You said, entering and closing the door behind you. "I also come bearing gifts." You added, holding up a greasy paper bag.
"Do I smell fries?" Pepper asked, taking it out of your hands. "Oh, have I ever told you how much I love you?" Pepper groaned before kissing your cheek.
"Once or twice." You smirked, taking a seat across from her. "I thought I should feed you before you waste away."
"Good call." Pepper nodded. "I might have to work through dinner, thought I was going to have to skip lunch too." She said, munching on the given fries.
You sat with Pepper talking about your days as she ate and continued filling out paperwork.
"Miss Potts, Miss L/N, Dr. Banner has asked me to alert you that Miss Maximoff has been admitted to the infirmary floor."
"Ow!" Wanda whined, pulling her wrist into her chest.
"Yep. That's a sprained wrist, alright." Bruce said, moving to pick up a roll of bandages. "A pretty nasty sprain too."
After FRIDAY alerted you to your needed presence, you and Pepper had raced up to the infirmary to see Natasha waiting by Wanda's bedside.
"How did you sprain your wrist?" Pepper sighed. "Nat left you alone for ten minutes.
"A lot of things can happen in ten minutes." Wanda protested. 
"Not wrong," Natasha smirked, squeezing your thigh. 
"Nat!" You gasped, pushing her hand off your thigh. "Jesus!" You exclaimed, cheeks turning red as Natasha cackled.
"Can the two of you behave for five minutes?" Pepper sighed. "We're in the infirmary, and Bruce is right there."
"I didn't even do anything." You protested.
"Wanda, how did you sprain your wrist?" Pepper asked again. 
"I was practicing using my powers," Wanda mumbled as Bruce wrapped her wrist. "I lost concentration, and a bookend hit my wrist." She admitted. "Please don't laugh."
"No-one's laughing." You assured her. "Sometimes, things just happen, and you get hurt."
"Y/N would know that the best," Natasha commented, receiving Pepper's elbow to the ribs. "Ow."
"Everyone has clumsy moments." You said. "It doesn't mean we're going to think any less of you if you accidentally injure yourself."
"Like the time Y/N walked into a door," Natasha smirked.
"Okay, you know what, Romanoff?"
"Relax, we still love you despite how clumsy you are," Natasha said, throwing her arm around your shoulders. "Trust me, Wand, it doesn't matter how clumsy you are, you'll never be worse than Y/N."
"How badly is she hurt?" Pepper asked as she rushed into the waiting bay.
"We don't know yet. Cho is still checking her over." You said as you and Wanda stood.
"What happened? Are the two of you okay?" Pepper questioned, pulling the two of you into embraces.
"We're fine," Wanda assured her. "Nat pushed Steve out of the way and got hit. We had to force him to go to the debrief instead of waiting with us."
"God. I hate the three of you. You're going to make me go grey before I hit my prime." She sighed, sinking in a chair.
"You love us." You reminded her, taking a seat beside her.
"I do. I won't deny that." Pepper said, taking one of yours and Wanda's hands and squeezing them tightly. 
A door snapped open, causing the three of you to turn quickly. Cho came out, standing in the doorway as you all jumped to your feet.
"How is she?" Wanda asked outright.
"Natasha's okay. She has some bruised ribs and, judging from the bump on her head, we're assuming a concussion as well, but we think she'll be just fine." Cho told you, holding the door open.
"Assume?" You asked. "What do you mean, you assume she has a concussion?" 
"Natasha hasn't woken up yet." Cho sighed, leading the three of you to Natasha's bedside. 
Natasha was plugged into several IV's and to a heart rate monitor. She looked so peaceful resting in the white bed, but it did nothing to quell your anxieties.
"But that doesn't mean anything bad." Cho quickly added as Pepper and Wanda sat beside the sleeping redhead. "All my scans indicate there to be no brain trauma or any similar issues. The worst injury is a possible concussion. I'll give the three of you some space." She said before leaving.
"I'm gonna kill her if she ever does anything like that again." You sighed, sitting beside Wanda.
"Get in line," Pepper said, pulling out her phone. "I'm ordering her favorite chocolates."
"The Russian or German ones?" Wanda asked.
"Would it be overdoing it if I got both?"
"Get both. You get hungry after a concussion, trust me." You said.
"Fair point." Pepper nodded. 
"I'll order us some dinner," Wanda said, pulling out her own phone. "We could be waiting for a while." 
Natasha woke up two hours later. Her concussion was apparent from the second she woke up, but she did appreciate the company and the chocolates.
You hated days like today. All three of your partners were out and busy while you were at home with nothing to do.
Natasha and Wanda had left at the crack of dawn, so you hadn't seen them since the night before, and Pepper had left at seven before breakfast.
It was only noon, and the day was dragging, so you decided to busy yourself with tedious household chores.
Laundry was next up on your list. The four of you usually sent all your clothing out for laundering, but you needed something to do.
You had just overloaded a tall basket and were making your way down the stairs when it happened. A shirt fell out from the basket at the wrong time, and you stepped on it.
The basket flew from your hands as you slipped down the long flight of stairs. You were out before you hit the bottom of the staircase.
Non-reader POV
"One of us needs to inform Steve the war ended. He doesn't need to be drill Sargent anymore." Wanda muttered, drying off her hair.
"I get where he's coming from, we do need to be a team, but I agree with you," Natasha said, packing up her duffle.
Steve had demanded everyone arrive at the compound at dawn for training exercises. He'd spent the next seven hours forcing everyone into team, partner, and solo training simulations until everyone was feeling the hurt.
"I can't wait to go back to bed." Wanda sighed. "Maybe we can coerce Y/N to join us." 
"That does sound nice." Natasha smiled. Natasha was pulling her hair into a ponytail when her phone rang shrilly. "Go for Romanoff."
"Agent Romanoff." Cho greeted. "I'm required to inform you that Y/N is in an infirmary bed. Again."
"What happened?" Natasha asked, gaining Wanda's attention.
"Y/N had a fall and has broken her leg," Cho informed Natasha. "It's a minor fracture, the bone didn't pierce the skin, but she will be in a cast for at least six weeks. And I'd like to keep her here overnight."
"Have you called Pepper yet?"
"No, I haven't been able to reach Miss Potts. My call went to voicemail."
"Wanda and I will be right there," Natasha said before hanging up. "Y/N broke her leg. Call Pepper let her know it's a code pink."
Reader POV
"Hi there, got yourself into a bit of a mess have we, sweetheart?" Wanda asked as she entered with Natasha on her heels.
"Please save the mocking until my next dose of pain blockers." You begged, leaning against your pillow.
"No-one is going to mock you," Wanda said as she and Natasha took seats beside you.  
"Yet. No-one is going to mock you yet." Natasha smirked. "Because if it were anyone else, this is kinda funny."
"I hate this." You groaned. "Cho said I can't even go home tonight. Last time I ever try to do the laundry."
"It was a sweet thought, dorogoy," Natasha said, taking your hand. "But from now on, let's just send laundry out."
"Jesus Christ, I'm going to kill one of you these days," Pepper said as she rushed in. "Are you okay?" She asked, pulling you into a hug.
"I'm fine, Pep. A little bruised, a little broken, but I'm fine." You assured her.
"We can all see your leg, Y/N," Wanda said, tapping on the cast. "Cho says you're gonna be in it for six-eight weeks."
"Which means bed rest," Natasha told you.
"Lots and lots of bed rest." Pepper agreed.
"When she wakes up, she'll need to be on bed rest for at least a week," Cho explained, leading you, Natasha and Wanda forward. "That means no strenuous activity in the slightest. I don't even want her reaching for her tablet."
"No work. Got it." Wanda nodded.
"She can try walking a few steps every day to avoid pneumonia. No baths for two weeks, showers are okay, but she has to pat the area dry.  Now, full recovery after a surgery like this is about four weeks, but Pepper's a fighter, so it could be three."
"Is there anything else we should know?" You asked as you all entered Pepper's room.
"I think I've covered all the bases. When Pepper wakes up, make sure she drinks some water, and then FRIDAY will call me down to check her over." Cho told you before leaving you all alone with Pepper.
"God, she talks about us giving her grey hairs, I think I just lost a decade off my life span." Natasha sighed, collapsing heavily onto a chair.
"I'm waiting for my heart attack to kick in." You agreed, sitting on the arm of Natasha's chair.
Earlier that day, Pepper's appendix had burst. The four of you had been having breakfast when it exploded, and Pepper collapsed to the ground in pain.
Natasha had called Bruce and Cho while you and Wanda set about trying to help Pepper. Before you could actually process what was happening around you, Pepper had been whisked away to the med bay, and the three of you were in the waiting bay.
"She's going to feel like shit when she wakes up," Wanda commented, putting another pillow behind the woman's head.
"That is an understatement." Natasha snorted. "Thank God Cho's got her hooked up to the good stuff."
You, Wanda, and Natasha sat in Pepper's room, quietly talking, for three hours before Pepper began waking up.
"Hi, hon." You smiled, taking one of her hands. “How are you feeling?”
“Like shit.” She groaned, turning her head towards you. “Have I ever mentioned how much I hate being in the medical bay?”
“Don’t think you have, sweetheart.” Wanda smiled.
“Well I hate it.” Pepper said firmly. “No more, we’re all banned from being in here from now on.”
“You’re really out of it, aren’t you, kisa?” Natasha asked, pushing hair off her face.
“I love you though. I love all of you.” Pepper added, as though she hadn’t heard Natasha. “Even if you all give me grey hairs.”
“We love you too, Pep.” You told her, pressing a kiss to her hairline. “Despite you just giving us a heart attack.”
The four of you spent more time in the med bay than any of you wanted, it was almost a second home, but there was one good thing that came out of your time in the infirmary. The four of you all got to work on your bedside manner.
Taglist
@rvgrsbrns @smilexcaptainx @hopingforbarnes @starlingelliot @piper-koko-barnes-rogers @jelly-fishy-babie @skeletoresinthebasement @agent-barnes40 @reann-loves-sebstan @skadikh @summergeezburr @buckybarton03 @sunshinepower17 @bindythedemon @natasharomanoffismywife @keenmarvellover @alissaginger @storiesbystarlight @buckybarnesplumwhore
Natasha Romanoff Taglist
@natasha-danvers @5aftermidnight @ohfuckno
All women
@imnotasuperhero​
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xxgoblin-dumplingxx · 5 years ago
Text
Nothing Good Happens After Midnight: Three
Bruce sat across the table from you in a greasy little diner. It felt like being a kid back in Ohio. Breakfast on a Sunday morning with his mom, before they went to church. While his dad slept off Saturday night. It felt like simple happiness. Warmth. 
You had pecan waffles and hot chocolate. Sweet and soft. Earthy. Comfort food. You’d taken a sip of hot chocolate and blushed when whipped cream smeared onto your nose. Bruce wanted to kiss it away. Instead, he smiled and handed you a napkin. “Sorry,” you murmur, “I’m the reason we can’t have nice things, I guess.” Bruce shakes his head and takes a sip of his orange juice, “You’re fine,” he said, “It’s cute.”
You bite your lip and glance up at him, self consciously brushing hair out of your eyes. Bruce feels his mouth go dry and took a calming breath. Christ alive, you’re pretty. So pretty. And without the others around to distract him he desperately wanted to kiss you. To taste the sweetness clinging to your lips. Bruce tears his eyes away from the colors dancing in your eyes, the subtle shifts that reflect your moods and thoughts. This morning, they’re subtly more gray. Darker in a way he can’t define beyond that. The way they get when you’re sad. Or distressed. “How are you,” he asked, “after last night?” You sigh, “Off-kilter, but no major damage. My jaw is a little sore and I might be a little concussed.” Bruce frowned, “I’m sorry,” he said, reaching for your hand. “We should have all noticed you were missing sooner.” You squeeze his hand, “I just... I stepped outside for a moment to get some fresh air. I felt too hot and I just... I needed to breathe.” Bruce feels his cheeks heat, remembering how badly he’s wanted to find you. And what for. The sudden heat that had coursed through his body. The need to kiss you. You glance away and your heart skips. You’d been trying to collect yourself. You needed to kiss Bruce. You needed to run your fingers through his hair. 
“I- about last night,” Bruce started, “The Hulk, he, if he scared you...” You squeeze his hand, “Bruce, it’s okay. The Hulk... He was sweet. Concerned. He tried to fix my sweater and he really didn’t like that I was bleeding.” Bruce felt his mouth open and snapped it closed again. It was really difficult to believe that you hadn’t been frightened but he could believe that the Hulk had cared for you in his way. He might be a mostly mindless manifestation of rage but, he knew which people were important to Bruce. He would have known that you were someone he cared for. “I’m glad you weren’t scared,” he murmured. Bruce didn’t think he could take you being afraid of him. Either of him. “I could never,” you say softly, “I-” You snap your mouth shut and bite your tongue. The rest of the breakfast is quiet. Comfortable quiet and shy glances. The scientists basks in the warmth of your company. The glow that emanates from you. He loves this. The quiet and comfort. He desperately wants more of it. More of you. 
You pay for breakfast and kiss his cheek, “As a thank you,” you tell him when he objects. “I’ll get it next time?” he says, taking your arm. He’s not that much taller than you but he walks quickly. Holding your arm makes him slow down a little. “Deal,” you say blushing and looking away. You’re so giddy you could burst out giggling at any moment. Bruce smiles and stops under a shade tree, “Y/N?” he asks softly, tilting your chin up. “I need... I need to do something. I just. I need to know and if it crosses a line I’ll never do it again.” He gave you a second to object and when you didn’t, his lips pressed into yours. 
He kept the pressure soft. It had been a long time since he’d kissed anyone. Since he’d felt feminine curves under his hands. Somehow, he knew what to do still. One hand toyed with the curls on the nape of your neck and the other rested at your waist as he pulled you closer. You leaned into the kiss, your arms winding around his neck to be able to grip his hair. He sighed. You felt so good. As you kissed him back he took it as an invitation, licking gently into your mouth to get a better taste of you. He felt his heart racing and fought to keep himself from pressing for more. To keep his hands from wondering. This was the first kiss. Some tenderness was a must. He just... He didn’t want to rush. You were so young. So much younger than him. When he came up for air he searched your face carefully, cupping your cheeks. “Too much?” he asked, anxious. Your eyes are the color they turn when someone shows you videos of baby animals or brings you your favorite candy... The happy colors. The happy galaxy. You stand on your toes and kiss him again softly, “I’ve been dreaming of that for weeks,” you murmur. 
Bruce smiles and brushes hair out of your eyes, “Really?” he asks. You nod, blushing and smile up at him shyly. “This whole time I’ve just felt like a dirty old man wanting you so much,” he says. You giggle and snuggle into his chest and he hugs you tightly. Bruce feels the tension in your body relax as the pressure and warmth of his body soothes the rest of your discomfort. As it makes you feel safe. “Bruce,” you murmur, “Take me back home? I wanna get a cuddle in before the rest of the tower wakes up.” The scientist smiles and kisses your shoulder before kissing your lips again, “Your room or mine?” he says, teasing gently. “Mine, I think,” you say softly, “I probably have a more comfortable bed.” Bruce laughs, “Probably... Natasha buys you enough fluffy blankets.” He takes your arm again and walks you back to the tower. That kiss was more than he had ever wanted. He felt like he was on cloud nine.
Academically, Bruce knew that touch was incredibly important. That physical contact with another human could soothe any number of stress-related ailments. He just... until he was cuddled in your bed watching Nailed It on Netflix and drowsing comfortably, his belly full and your head on his chest that he understood just how... starved for it that he was. Your fingers found the hem of his sweatshirt and traced idle patterns into his bare skin. Ghosting over stretch marks and the soft hair tenderly. He didn’t think you were looking to arouse him, but you were. The soft touches and the press of your curves... He was hungry for more than just simple touch. He didn’t want to rush but he desperately needed more. He sighed and pulled you close, stroking your hip gently. It had been a long time. He’d not been with a woman in almost 10 years. He’d not wanted one. His guilt and fear. His shame. Had kept him from looking for one. You prop yourself up on your elbow and look at him, “Bruce, what’s wrong? Did I do something?” He looks at you and smiles, “No, Y/N,” he soothes, “Baby you’re fine.” He didn’t want to rush. He was still worried he’d embarrass himself. Or hurt you. “Bruce,” you murmur, kissing him, “Talk to me?”
He sighs, “I haven’t been with a woman in a long time, Y/N... and even before I wasn’t very... practiced.” his cheeks color and you shift over to straddle his hips carefully, “Is that all?” you ask softly. “Bruce, I don’t care about that... I’ll tell you a secret if you promise not to laugh.” Mischief sparkles in your eyes and he hums, “A secret? Well, cross my heart.” He makes an x over his heart and puts his hands on your hips, “I’m still a virgin,” you whisper. Bruce quirks an eyebrow but he doesn’t laugh, “You like sex, though,” he says. You shake your head and look down at the hands that rested on his chest, “I’m sex-positive. I don’t think it’s shameful... I just. I was waiting for the right person. Someone... Someone who makes me feel safe.” Bruce nods and leans up to kiss you, “Then we’ll wait. Until you’re sure about me.” You blush and shift slightly to get off of his erection, you’d been called a tease before and you didn’t want Bruce to think that that was true. Men tended to mistake the ease with which you flirted with experience. The truth was, flirting had gotten you places to stay or distracted someone while you got some food. “You’re not mad?” you ask softly. Bruce chuckled, “No, sweetheart. I’d be a lot more green if I was angry.” You swallow hard and smile a little, “What about... well I mean. You’re... I- I mean.” Bruce laughed and cupped your cheek, “I was really well acquainted with my hand long before I met you... I can stay that way for a little while. As long as I know we can eat breakfast food and cuddle.”
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usaonetwothree · 5 years ago
Note
1 and 20 for the ask meme! :)
Thank you @ladyzayinwonderland!
Let’s start with #20 first.  I am safe and healthy, which is all that matters these days. Hopefully the same is true for all of you! Now, for the good stuff. #1, what are my favorite whump tropes?
The “good ones play hurt” trope is my absolute favorite.  Just like it says on the tin, characters who are injured (whether their teammates/friends/family know it or not) have to go back out/out for the first time since being injured.  It’s more fun if the teammates/friends/family know their teammate/friend/family is injured though, since in all good found families fics, they then go out of their way to not-so-subtly take some of the load off the one who is injured.
The standard “sick day”.  Give me all the fics about the team’s “protector” coming down with the common cold and powering through what he/she needs to get done, then getting brought soup or tissues by their teammates after the fact. [A big theme in all of these, in case you can’t tell, is the one who is injured getting cared for by his teammates/friends/family, and not slinking back to their small apartment to deal with the issue on their own. Here’s looking at you, Wyatt Logan./Eliot Spencer.]
“Switching roles”/”protecting the protector”. The “protector” is injured and those he was protecting have to band together to save the protector’s life/get him to safety/what have you.  Loosely related to “the good ones play hurt” but can stand in a category of its own.
Dealing with whump correctly.  If your character is shot in the shoulder, it is most likely not a through-and-through and they’re not going to be fine two seconds later.  There’s a lot of bones and organs in the shoulder area.  Concussions aren’t something you just walk off; they are incredibly brutal, and can cause serious damage if they aren’t treated properly.  So any story where the injuries are treated realistically both in the direct aftermath and later win major points in my book.
The comfort.  Whump is absolutely useless if there is no comfort.  What’s the point of Steve protecting Lucas if the kids don’t get to hover around him while he’s healing and realize he belongs to their group, however strange that realization may be?  What’s the purpose of Wyatt getting shot protecting Lucy and Rufus if it’s never mentioned again, and you never get any sense of them growing closer because of it?  Or the directors showing those burns on Wyatt’s back that magically disappeared two episodes later, without so much as even a word to Lucy about them?  I’ll even go so far as to say that in The Winter Soldier (which is/was just wonderful), we get so much Steve whump, and then we just cut to a period of time later.  Did we get to see Natasha saving his life down on the riverbank?  Bucky potentially creeping into the hospital room to check on Steve as his memory starts coming back?  Sam refusing to leave Steve alone/acquiring the iHome from one of the on-floor nurses? The rest of the Avengers bringing Steve things that he loves to make his hospital stay more tolerable/Tony and Bruce furiously working to synthesize a painkiller that works with his metabolism since this is potentially the first time Steve has been injured this badly, and the first time this little factoid has come up?  But I guess that’s what fanfiction is for, right? :)
Honorable mentions:
The “after-battle collapse”.  Oldie but a goodie.  Bonus points for the rest of the team not knowing he/she was injured.
Loosely related, the “injury reveal”.  Bonus points for the character wearing white so it’s more dramatic when they pull their hand away from their side to show it’s covered in red.  It is so cliche, but you can pry it from my cold dead hands.
And that ended up being way longer than I think anyone wanted.  But there it is. Thanks again for the ask, ladyzayinwonderland!
[Whump ask meme for anyone who wants to take a stab at it.]
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