#conclusion: baby put the knife down. dont do that.

[teeto-peteto]

'Rain you're blowing this cutscene out of proport-' I dont care. Hold on for a second.

This is literal self harming here. For a bigger cause? Yes. Okay question. How did Pyke get to the conclusion that this could work?

He can swim by his own he clearly doesnt need transport. He checked the buhru temple surroundings himself. He has no voices here, Illaoi has cured them. What train of thought ended in the conclusion that his own blood will summon this creature.

I dont know if this is like 'Fish is fish, it will go to the blood cause its a predator' type of scene or if its a symbolic type of scene cause clearly it looks like the second but its fair to think the first one. Knowing Pyke's cause of death seeing him willingly jumping to the jaws of a predator is very symbolic. Aside that. Really, how did this man get to this conclusion.

How do we know his scars are real proof of his death and not also self harm for bigger causes. The fact that this man that looks made of stone but that has a lot of mental conflict willingly decides to self harm in order to help a bunch of people he vaguely knows for around 2 or 3 days. How many scars are under those gloves. He looks like he knows what he's doing and its clear he has done this sometime before, either in the symbolic point of view or in the blood attracts fish point of view.

This man has literally been betrayed to death and still will trust a bunch of random people, a captain and the truth bearer herself after knowing them for five minutes and yet cant put himself together to say goodbye when they all part ways. Since Pyke release to nowdays we have seen Pyke technically changing from a normal butcher with a lot of talent for hunting to... now.

Buhru, to butcher, to the best harpooner of Bilgewater, to a dead man, to the Bloodharbor ripper, to a sentinel of light (If we bore to consider SOL event canon. Its a shitshow, but there's something of value here and there), and then: nothing.

SOL i consider it should not be canon in league of legends itself and that if anything it should be rewritten by each of us individually and consider it like an AU or a canon divergence inside our minds and make it work better than Riot. Considering it didnt happen Pyke's deal right now is targetting Viego. If not and we consider SOL canon then maybe reconsidering Sarah Fortune or maybe looking for Gangplank.

If not well. I hope he's getting better at being a house husband to all his partners across the world.

[fataleefemmee]

him

didnt think i would be coming to this conclusion but.. i think my time with him has come to an end..

just dont know if i can keep putting myself through it.

we had our normal friday night, which of course went exactly like it always does. a deep intimate connection between us, he told me he was going to plan something for us for christmas break so. my phone kept blowing up, i was getting irritated and said how no one will leave me alone to which he responded, "dont they know youre mine", and it did catch me off guard.. because if i am his, i wouldnt be feeling this way of uncertainty.. we continued the night and of course the morning and it was as great as i'd expect. we had plans for saturday with the office, he told me to uber there and he would take us back to my house.. and this is where things get complicated.

2 hours before i was going to call an uber he texted me saying he cant sleep over tonight and that he would explain in person. annoyed, but understanding i said okay to which his response was he was going to make it up to me.. when it comes to seeing him in person, he told me how she needed to wash his sheets and thats why he cant comeover tonight.. sick! what a sick excuse, because you are incapable of doing it yourself that she HAS to do it. so awesome, i let it go because honestly whatever. as the night was coming to an end, he said he would walk me to my car but everyone was watching us of course, so he texted me and told me to meet him in the family bathroom of the location we were at.. the second he came in he threw me against the wall and started kissing me so hard, both of us had some drinks in us, me more than him. it was hot, and he started pulling my clothes down and i watched him fuck me from behind in the mirror as i was leaning against the sink. watching him fuck me was turning me on so much and im sure i said to him again to cum inside me, but he didnt... not that i want him to for baby more so to get more of him.. hard to explain... once we were cleaning up, we were speaking and the conversation of him and her got brought up to which all i can remember is him telling me

"i havent had sex with her in weeks"

"weeks..?"

"what."

"weve been hooking up for months now"

"well what am i supposed to do.. shes going to get suspicious"

all quiet on my end...

"youre mad now.."

"not mad, i put myself in this situation"

"i can tell by your body language"

all quiet on my end again...

we walked out, he walked me to my car, i acted as if i wasnt bothered but fuck that felt like a knife to my stomach. he sits here and says all this shit about how he never touches her, never kisses her, doesnt cuddle her, how he wants it to end with her so bad. so how the fuck are you still going to have sex with her? am i just not fucking enough? for someone who wants their relationship to end, why the fuck are you having sex with her? i dont get it. i dont know how to act with him right now, but im annoyed and im mad and im fucking hurt. so in some weird way im telling myself enough, but i dont know how and when im going to tell him enough. i just dont know what to do.... but i i guess i can say i saw this coming, this is just going to hurt so much more.

i dont know whats going to happen from this point forward, i wanted him so bad, he made me feel like i was the actual prize, that i was the hottest girl walking this planet, that i was everything and now im just second guessing everything.

[archer3-13]

I mentioned how i dont feel gundam 0079 and gundam seed comparisons quite work for me. for all that 0079 is the better show and for all that seed calls back to 0079 they're both aiming for different things at the end of the day and i figured out why it bugs me because theres actually a better point of comparison for where seed goes wrong thats also in the uc timeline.

0083 stardust memories

both are stories that open with a gundam jacking, where a rivalry between two characters becomes centre stage and where thematic elements of their stories heavily lean on the idea of the senselessness of war how it breeds hatred that clouds judgment, and importantly on how that hatred perpetuates war [because theres always one last fight and one last grudge that needs to be settled].

where 0083 comparatively succeeds however i would say is that

a] its protagonist kou has a more interesting arc of progression to his story despite ultimately being a rather flat character overall like kira is. a part of that is that kou is better able to sell the idea of clueless innocence as his starting point compared to kira [despite kou starting with way more piloting experience and being military from the start comparatively]. both character arcs ultimately rely on this aspect for things to go down the way they do, but kira also has a lot of that amuro ego and resentfulness thrown in as well which makes it difficult to fully buy into the idea of corrupting innocence going on. kou by comparison well often desiring to prove himself is more easily believable as this uncomplicated jelly baby because he lacks that ego and resentfulness even when acting in selfish manners [the goku effect]. the other part of that i think is cause 0083 throws kou into a lot of situations that challenge him on an emotional and psychological level more deeply then they do kira. dude has no obligation or particular reason to try and spare people but in earlier portions of 0083 he does try on a couple of occasions most notably with kelly, and they ultimately blow up in his face. and comparatively when he does forsake that potential peaceful resolution and pursues vengeance on cima... it also blows up in his face because cima was working to stop the drop at that point. Kira by comparison only ever spares people when he firmly has the upper hand in combat, and he tends to just get to do what he wants to do to the point you arguably live or die in the narrative by his hand.

b] the people all involved in this aren't completely asshat morons and the narrative pretty firmly shifts the attention away from the ideological struggle onto the personal stakes and costs of the war in 0083. even delaz despite being the asshole who decided that blowing up the earth with another colony was a great idea shows a palatable trepidation over his actions and grief in regards to his motivations. gato never really questions why hes doing what hes doing in an irony so thick you can cut it with a knife, but he does questions the methods involved and displays the most visible frustrated mourning as if determined to just find a good place to die well tricking himself through blind ideology. cima's a whole mess of self hatred and self interest abandoned by all the powers involved so she no longer cares about anything then securing her own safety followed begrudgingly by a twisted care for her own soldiers. Hell the only truly monstrous individuals we see in the narrative... are bask om and jamitov in their pre zeta cameos taking advantage of the mess to expand their own power and ideology. gundam seeds conclusion is predicated on a bunch of extremist idiots trying to commit genocide, of which the one with the vaguely sympathetic reason for wanting to do so is still demonized to hell and back and no consideration is really put into how everyone got to this point and just on making sure there's still a human race left. also rau manipulates everything behind the scenes for frost brother like reasons without nearly any of the charisma of the frost brothers.

[gg-astrology]

Jungkook seems more like a virgo than namjoon... also, can you talk about the most virgo/pisces/aquarius...(their signs) things bts has done?

Hey there! 💕💕He does have Virgo in his Sun/Moon and while you don’t have to have a lot of placements in a certain sign to be the virgo-est virgo to ever virgo… maybe it’s more to do with how we define signs/what our impressions of them are based on our own experience/perception of them as well? (i.e. Namjoon is not less of a Virgo than Jungkook he’s still a Virgo 💕

Anyways since this is for fun! 💕💕💕 I’ll be using gifs and stuff as well!! 💕💕

[Below: BTS stuff]

Jin - Sagittarius Sun/Aries Moon

remember that one time he screamed ‘no!!!!’ everytime the interviewer wants him to do something he doesn’t want to do

‘so I should do it because people tell me to!?’ 

Also karate chop to the neck and physically manhandling people into positions he wants them to be (backhugs, linking arms, whatever it is he wants)

Looking at someone and they’re laughing at a joke he said

His contemplative side as well, the way he talks about what happiness means and how he comes to conclusions on certain things. 

Oh and that one time he was talking in vlive and shook his knife-- said it was scary and changed it to a fork skdjfnsk

Yoongi - Pisces Sun/Virgo Moon 

(*or Libra Moon we don’t know!)

That one time (on his birthday vlive) where tae tried to pull him away from the phone (‘come here’) and he starts making a fuss about it like ‘wait i gotta read the comments’  (his reaction is where its at)

Or in BV where it’s technically a ‘holiday/vacation’  but he’s still doing the cooking, organizing money, doing SOMETHING while making it look like  the bare minimum (taking on responsibilities even when he doesn’t have to) and the kinda, breezy way he handles stuff

Sleepy yoon yoon

A creative force to be reckoned with, when it comes to the creative field/expression he can just push his work into that/feel efficient and productive because of it.

Taking care of people honestly. 

(also lowkey wanting to be thanked/acknowledged but not asking for it – pls thank him/acknowledge the things he do!!) 

Hoseok - Aquarius Sun/Taurus Moon

‘Family is important please treat them well’

Does his utmost BEST to propagandize healthy relationship with family members and keeping in touch with people (and staying humble despite the fame)

Also: big house, big cars, big rings. His watch?? Ultimate flex. 

Shopping as well. Like enjoying shopping with a friend/someone else. 

When he ‘yahyah’ maknae line (+ namjoon) and make sure they aren’t hurt that’s when it shines

Wanna be a poster boy for good relations? Maybe him. 

Y know what? Just him being 1) a dancer 2) himself 3) sunshine and 4) his fashion sense is very: Hoseokie. 

Namjoon - Virgo Sun/Sagittarius Moon

Namjoon feeling awkward with hugs but still wanting one/tlc sometimes is?? hallmark behaviour??

Saying stuff but like your mind is going SUPER fast so you ended up speaking FASTER just to catch up to it skjdnksn

Shade master?? Reaction king (unknowingly)

But also just his?? love for nature and taking walks/going out and being alone?? Love those MV walk moments

OpinionATED ™️ but also sometimes thinks he’s open-minded to stuff (when hes not skjn) 

Idiot (but lovable) and uses his charms to his benefit

Jimin - Libra Sun/Gemini Moon

Remember that one run episode where Jimin and Yoongi made exaggerated noise and faces to each other and then they burst out laughing??

Catty face, facial expression diss (lets be real they CAN be good at this)

Imitation/teasing as a form of bonding (relationship building) but also like– don’t. 

Jimin Whining. Is also a prime example. (’thats not fair’ ‘can’t you give us a hint?’) 

‘How do you do that?’ Jimin to Jungkook on a BTS episode back in 2017, about a singing technique?? JK was showing him. And him having to test it out.

Good at theories, technique. Linear things. Right side of the brain stuff. Also aes (even if they aren’t outwards about it)  

Reading books/comics and staying up late/early?? 

Taehyung - Capricorn Sun/Aries Moon

I remember seeing this gif of him being completely thrown forward and then caught by one of the hwarang hyungs and babie was so giggly over it. 

Unless you can toss him and catch him (or punish/tease him) he’s not interested (*also conditional: from close friends/deep bond and understanding/trust first) 

If you can’t manhandle him then maybe praising/loving him is alright too. 

Listen just as long as you don’t expect them to reciprocate at the same pace as you do (he takes time) then word it’ll be alright. 

Basically getting thrown around/buried in hug is a thing with Capricorns but they won’t admit to it or they have to feel comfortable with you first.

Oh and also?? buying stuff for friends?? This bitch is It. 

Jungkook - Virgo Sun/Leo Moon

(*or Virgo Moon since we don’t know!)

He Tries his Best and it Shows (to be sincere) 

Making people laugh is Very Good (but for the right reason/not at him for something he’s sensitive about) 

Remember that classroom skit (recently) where he suddenly yells at the other team to get them to quiet down for the teacher/yoongi??

Actually that whole skit… where his speech was just ‘I dont want to be president’ and then getting selected as president but PRIMARILY that ‘I don’t want to be president’ attitude (and then at the end where he has to select the person to come on and do the punishment/escape it skdjsk very libra venus of him as well) 

Also the recent armypedia thing where he was busy counting to answer the question … didn’t realize yoongi already raised his hand/was going to answer and just… ‘Wait!! I have the answer!!’ like juNGKOOK

Honestly the staring as well… like the observing/tracking stare he does sometimes when he’s Computing 

And gcf?? story-telling and narrative style?? Putting captions on things, doing the credit etc. 

You should watch the Entertainment Weekly 2019 interview where they asked him what he likes about directing– he mentions how you can ‘get’ things quicker with how you direct/the scene plays. And that communication style is something that some people might prefer (story telling). 

[all-at-once-you-are-the-one]

Stream of Consciousness Lover Album Reaction

I wrote out my first thoughts while listening to the album and put them in one big post. I hope you find them as funny as I do lmao

1. I Forget That You Existed

LOL so that’s what the drake Easter egg was about!

Who is this about????

NIIIIiiiiiiiiiIIIiiiiCE

SHE SOUNDS SO GOOD

I JUST FORGOT WHAT THEY WERE LMAOOO

HER LAUGH!! SO CUTE!!

This track is somehow savage and adorable at the same time

So......yeah.......

ShnfhKJHGKSHDKGHSKGHSJG

2. Cruel Summer

This is giving me Katy perry vibes

The devils roll their dice line is from this?? Didn’t expect that

This is maybe the catchiest song I’ve ever heard

Why is this not a single??????

STILL DONT KNOW WHAT SUMMERS A KNIFE MEANS

EXPLAIN TAYLOR

This also kind of gives me Jonas brothers vibes, why???

Again.....what is this about???

OooOOoooOooWhoooooAAAAhh i loveeee this

OOOH no you know what this gives me GETAWAY CAR vibes

Wait...do we think that at the beginning joe wanted to keep their relationship private and Taylor agreed but then changed her mind? WAIT NO.....is this about her having to keep her love for joe secret at first the summer they met because she was with someone else/it was too soon??

3. Lover

Ok SUPER WEIRD transition into lover but OK

As much as I love albums with a clear narrative like rep I also like being all over the place so this is fine

CAN I GO WHERE YOU GOOOOOO

FOR EVER AND EVER ANDIIIII

YOURE MY MY MY MYYYYY LOVER

I wonder what inspired her to use the term lover? Does she not know that normal people don’t speak like that?

WAIT IS THE REASON LOVER COMES AFTER CRUEL SUMMER because of the 3 summers line?? Like look how we started...now were here

Does the album begin with i forgot you existed because its like ok this Kanye situation happened...but now were gonna forget about that and talk about the realer real story of the past couple years of my life rather than seeing it through the lens of that story like on rep

4. The Man

THE ACCURACY

THE ACCURAACCCCYYYYYYYYY

IT HUUURRTTSSS

Honestly though i actually thought this one would be more savage, i thi

DID SHE JUST SAY BITCHES AND MODELSSSS?????

SLJGSHUKGHKDG

Never mind this is as savage as i wanted

I should know better than to judge a Taylor song before the bridge

Again why isn’t this a single.....it better be

5. The Archer

The emotional whiplash this album is giving me is insane.

It’s like RED but with synths

Is the archer placed here because part of her lack of self confidence comes from the things the media says about her (because she’s a woman not a man?) INTERESTING THOUGHT

Don’t have much else to say about this, we already know

.....

Wow the cake i bought for tonight is somehow way too sweet

6. I Think He Knows

Definitely didn’t think i think he knows was about being horny af

But this is so catchy

Why is everything so catchy?? Literally every song should be a single

BOY I UNDERSTAND the confidence!! After the archer!! I love that he makes her feel that way1!!

I THINK HE KNOOOOOOOWWWWSS

This gives me teenage dream vibes and i fucking love that song

7. Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince

Ok time for the one with the weird title

I love how she keeps comparing her current feelings to how she felt as a teenager!! How its the same and different....very good.

SHES A BAD BAD GIRL

More dice!

Is she imagining what it would be like if she was in this relationship in high school? Because I DO THAT ALL THE TIIIIME GIRL SAME

THATS MY WHOLE WORLD SOOOO CUUUUTE

YOU PLAY STUPID GAMES YOU WIN STUPID PRIZES

VOTED

MOST

LIKELY

TO

RUN

AWAY

WITH

YOU

I really like this one. I didn’t expect I would.

This should be a single.

8. Paper Rings

THE VOICE EFFECT

She’s singing so fast on these songs!!!! I CANT KEEP UPP

UH HUH

THATS RIGHT

This is so retro and i loooooooooooooooooooooove it

DIRTY DREAMS??????? TAYLOR PLEASE

OMG THE COLOUR WE PAINTED YOUR BROTHERS WALL

THE PICTURE

THE PICTURE

FROM THE REP MAGAZINES

SDIHGUSHGUKHDZRKUGHKUDZHGUHDZGHDKZHGYIDZJLGJLDJGJSDJGDHZGHLGHLSHGHDG

II LIKE SHINY THINGS

THIS SONG IS SO FUN! ALL THESE SONGS ARE SO FUN!!

Ok baby boy that’s kinda weird but you know what..

....

....

Ok its still weird but maybe it will grow on me

This should be a single.

9. Cornelia Street

HERE IT IS!!! THE FIRST TAYLOR PRODUCED SONG

I NEVER WANT CORNELIA STREET AGAIN?? WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?? THEIR WORST FIGHT? ANOTHER RELATIONSIP? QUESTIONS

The storytelling!

Wait......is this about before they ran away together in CIWYW?? Like she thought he didn’t really want her so she was gonna run away alone...but then he was like no i really do lets go

I totally thought that this was the one with the staring out the window like I’m not your favorite town line was from

She ended it with the line she started with (i think)? Ike she used to!

Kinda feel like people hyped this one up too much but i do like it

10. Death by a Thousand Cuts

The piano!!!!

Like a thousand notes a thousand cuts

Look through the windows of this love - like the heart on her eye! I get it I GET IT lmaoooo

If this song was on red it would have the saddest production but on this album its a bop

11. London Boy

IS THAT JOE??? OMG lmao

HER ACCENT LMAOOOOOOOOO

I don’t know if this song is supposed to be as hilarious as i think it is but i really do think its hilarious

What does like a Tennessee Stella McCartney even mean????

I kinda feel like this song is too specific to her life to be relatable so maybe that’s why i feel that way about it?

12. Soon You’ll Get Better

Ok great... so we went from that to the sad one

I have to prepare

I didn’t tell you i was scared....

Cause you have to...

The fact that this is the country song...

I cant

GOD NOW IM CRYING THIS IS SO SAD

That was the only song so far i had to actually stop typing for. God....I’m so sad for her and her family.

13. False God

I can barely take this song in because of what just came before.

But i really like it. And i really like the theme of religion on this album

14. You Need to Calm Down

NOW YNTCD IS PLAYING

??? IM LITERALLY SOO SAD FROM SOON YOULL GET BETTER STILL

I CANT

PROCESS

THIS

This album is literally all over the place, i keep trying to assign a narrative to it and its not working out so I’m just gonna give up

Sometimes albums are just collections of songs and not a coherent, linear story and that is ok! Even if its not what i prefer

It certainly didn’t bother me on her first few albums.

The one thing i take away from this is like...no wonder she’s so determined to be so overly positive, i think for her its that or break down crying in the face of what’s happening in her family

15. Afterglow

I really love this song!!! Hashtag relatable

......

Man..you can really tell even just from my typing that my heart isn’t in this anymore after that song

Like

Fuck

I think I’m just sad for me too, because i know that i will go through that too sooner rather than later and I already have friends dealing with losing a parent.

16. ME!

My only thought on this is god bless brendon Urie for injecting so much additional joy and energy into this song and making Taylor happy, i just get the vibe that she really needed that

ALSO WHAT THERES REALLY NO HEY KIDS SPELLING IS FUN

TAYLOR EXPLAAIAIIIIIIIAIAIIAN

We’ll see if its on my physical cd copies when they arrive...if not then maybe it was always planned to be a line only in the single version

17. It’s Nice to Have a Friend

Ok I don’t really like this song that much but i really like the messages she’s trying to send like...real love feels like hanging out with a childhood bestie, so comfortable

18. Daylight

I WAS LIKE MEH

BUT THE FUCKING BRIDGE

THE BRIDGE

IM EMOTIONALLY DESTROYED

Also something about the chorus reminds me of the chorus of starlight

STEP INTO THE DAYLIGHT AND LET IT GO

YES

I WAS LIKE NO IS THAT NOT A LYRIC??

BUT IT ISTHANK GOD

THE END

YOU ARE WHAT YOU LOVE

THAT WAS LIKE

MY MANTRA FOR A COUPLE YEARS A WHILE BACK

BECAUSE

I LOVED SO MANY PEOPLE BUT THEY DIDNT LOVE ME

AND I WANTED TO BE DEFINITED BY THE FACT THAT I LOVED THEM NOT THAT HTEY DIDNT LOVE ME

IIIIIIIIIIII

I

IN CONCLUSION:

My feelings are everywhere. Some songs disappointed me but some blew me away - soon you’ll get better is basically the new Never Grow Up for me which is saying a lot. Everything is catchy a hell though even the songs I didn’t like as much. Ultimately i would have liked more songs about varying subject matter esp. self love but as it is, it is still somehow so all over the place. It really just shows how many emotions and phases can be contained within one relationship (i mean I’m assuming every song about a relationship is about joe). I really think that the song about her mom maybe should have been placed somewhere else...I don’t know where I would have put it but that shit is HEAVY. I am so honored that she and her family would share that with us though. I have a million question about how Andrea is doing and if my theory on why tour hasn’t been announced is correct...maybe she will explain more in the interviews/secret session audio we’re getting in the next couple days. I think my favorite song is Lover but that may change. I don’t think any song on here tops my current all time favorite Taylor song though which is CIWYW. That’s a little disappointing but not every song or album has to be my fave! And this album will probably grow on me esp as i hear Taylor’s explanations of it. Rep did. I really did nooott feel good about most of rep at first, it took a few days.

[clown-bait]

A Very Monster Christmas (Monster Roommate AU) PT4

Jesus fuck its been awhile. Believe it or not I actually have 3 whole chapters written including the conclusion to the christmas series so hopefully when I finish one more in between chapter I can actually post weekly again. Think of it like constipation but for writing.

PT4 The Weather Outside is Frightful

“No.”

“Penny please I'm so bored and you could use the babysitting practice.” Leech bravely took her eldritch's gloved hands in her own. The clown was not moved.

“I just saved you three days ago. You are not to leave.”

The nosferatu frowned and dropped his hands. “You know I'm just going to find a way out anyway.” she grinned at him smugly while Pennywise's upper lip twitched over his fangs in annoyance.

“You try my patience little thing” he growled and moved closer to her till she could feel hot puffs of air on her cold cheeks.

“I'm not going alone anyway Fred, Chucky and Drac are coming with me.”

The clown’s eyes narrowed into slits “That makes it worse.”

“Junior let the blood sucker get some fresh air for crying out loud.” Uncle Penny groaned as he turned to Leech’s mom. “I swear he is the biggest drama queen you should have seen him when he woke up the guy put on the biggest tantrum.”

Pennywise snarled and turned to his elder half baring his fangs in warning.

“If you want me to stop then cut the theatrics kiddo.” the elder clown huffed and quickly motioned for the group to leave.

Leech was mostly out the door by the time Pennywise registered she had slipped out “Bye Love don't eat Chucky’s kids!” she called out to him as the old door slammed behind her. The clown’s eyes were alarming red and yellow facing completely different directions. Before he could react to being tricked he felt a harsh tug on the puff of his pantaloons.

“All right Jingles, your baby mama asked me to give you a crash course on how to not completely fuck up your family and my mother always said the best way to learn is to try it yourself.” Tiff began as she pulled the massive creature back into the living room. “Now I want you to sit down with Glen and Glenda and have a nice little chat with them.”

“Oh this ought to be amazing!” Uncle Penny laughed and got comfortable in his seat to watch the show.

-----

“So what's the plan boys local bar? Convenience store? I'm partial to crashing a house party myself.” The vampire said turning around to her ghoulish companions.

“I dunno Fangs whatevers closest its fuckin freezing out here” Freddy pulled his trench coat tighter. Dracula lagged behind slightly uncomfortable with the implications of their outing. Chucky who was being generously carried by Leech called out to him.

“Come on Drac you're lagging behind and getting laid takes time. We ain't got all night!”

“This is very generous of all of you but I do not need-”

“Yeah 200 years is a long enough of a dry spell dude, come on you helped me get my man I'm gonna help you.” Leech shouted over him as she pushed through some deeper snow.

“Woah there fangs let's not push through the deep stuff in a snow storm.” The doll gripped his friend tighter

“I'm leading this hunting party dont like it you can walk.” The vampire stated simply and pushed onward through the field.

“Yeah great idea to take a short cut into town through deep snow Fangs!” Freddy huffed.

“Well the three of you wouldnt let me take the trees and roof tops.” Leech grumbled and continued to push onward.

“Fangs do I look like I was built to Spiderman around? Good Guy dolls are made for hugs not acrobatics and you're too clumsy anyway.” Chucky grumbled while clinging to his friend.

“I've gotten better!” Leech shouted and Dracula coughed.

“Eh debatable apprentice.”

“Oh yeah and when's the last time you actually instructed me on anything” the younger vampire growled.

“Well after you cancelled the last three times to as you so artfully put it, marathon with your lover, I assumed you were far too busy for things like learning to survive.” a dark color tinted the nosferatu's cheeks as she nearly tripped in the deep snow.

“One of those times was for a legitimate movie marathon ok!”

“Yeah that ended in the other kind.” Freddy added.

“So what if my sex life is healthy.”

“Excessive is a bit more like it.” the doll grumbled.

“Ok Pen and I both have big appetites it works out.” Leech led her friends out of the deep snow as Freddy snorted.

“Yeah I'll say! Vampires man you all are in a constant state of horny I swear.”

“Excuse you flatmate!” the elder vampire called out in offense.

“Yeah you're not one to talk you told me all about your adventures before the “Mina” incident. Didn't you bang her friend in the form of a wolf or something?”

“DO NOT SPEAK OF HER NAME”

“Do you need to hold Chucky again Drac? He said it himself he's good for hugs.” Leech sneered holding her friend out as he thrashed angrily.

“Hug me and I'll remove your eyeballs!”

“Hey if I squeeze you tight enough will you say the catch phrase?” the vampire hugged the enraged doll despite his warning. Chucky went eerily still.

“Fangs if you weren't filled with a murderous fear God’s kids you'd be dead right now” he snarled. Leech laughed at the empty threat and patted her belly.

“Gotta love my little security blankets! I wonder how he's doing.”

“My guess is terribly.” the dream demon chuckled.

“I want to say I have faith in my mate but seeing how they're Chucky's kids...you're probably right.” leech sighed and stretched as they finally walked into town. Chucky straightened himself back out as his feet touched the ground.

“Just an fyi fangs you're paying for the therapy.”

------

“Whys your head so big?”

Pennywise grunted in response. He sat cross legged on the floor in front of two children who stared up at their natural predator with wide eyes. The little boy crawled forward.

“Are you an oni?”

“A what?”

“An oni”

“Kid wants to know if you're a demon junior.” the senior Pennywise shouted.

“I am much more than a simple demon child!” the clown snarled with malice

“Yeah yeah eater of worlds, be nice Jingles or I'll make sure you can't have any more kids” Tiffany growed as she sharpened a knife.

“You cant possibly kill me doll.”

“Wasnt talking about killing you” the dolls mother slammed the blade into the coffee table. The clown's golden eyes grew wide for a moment as Leech's mom gently spoke up.

“Pennywise try a more friendly approach with them!”

“HAHAHAHAH Sally baby I've been telling him that for 200 years. It's like menacing asshole is in his DNA.” his older self cackled nearly falling out of his seat.

“Thanks for making me a hit with the in law.” The younger clown grumbled under his breath.

“Why is your eye messed up?” glenda leaned forward crossing her eyes to imitate the clown who began to growl low as red tinted his irises.

“You're lucky I'm dieting”

“And Fangs is lucky you still have a functioning dick right now.” Tiffany warned as Sally cringed.

“Can we not talk about my daughter like that”

“Yeah uh how much do you know about your daughter dollface” Uncle Penny's fingers wrapped around the witch as he pulled his cigar out of his mouth.

“She takes after her father”

“I'm tempted to ask but I think Jingles is about to have a major breakthrough in positive child interaction”

“Mister Pennywise can I touch your nose?” Glen asked eyes wide

“Uh…” the clown glanced up at his companions who all enthusiastically motioned for him to agree. “All right child.” the clown craned his body close to what he usually considered an appetizer. Glen reached forward his small hand touching first the clowns nose then his cheek running his thumb on the smooth clay like skin.

“Its not paint?”

Penny blinked at the question. “No. It is not.”

“It feels like paint though how are you doing that?”

“I can do many things child.” the corner of the monsters lips tugged up with a ghost of a warm smile. This one wasn't so bad, it asked many questions but he could tolerate it. He could tolerate it till its sister began to speak.

“Can you make a balloon animal?”

“Oh course I can” Pennywise smiled wide and reached behind his back pulling out a giraffe

“Not with your tricks do it for real”

Pennywise stared at the little girl completely motionless. He didn't actually know how to make a balloon animal. His his uncle elbowed what be considered to be his mother-in-law with wicked excitement.

“Well? Can you do it or not?” the child asked impatiently.

“I..”

“Jeeze what kind of clown doesn't know how to make a balloon animal.”

Pennywise lunged forward teeth first “NO! I mean I can. I can do anything, I am all powerful and I can easily entertain two little brats.”

“Yeah right you're boring I can do better tricks than you!” Glenda sneered right back in the predators face.

“Oh boy here we go.” Tiff sighed and handed her son to Leatherface while moving to grab her daughter. “Glenda sweetie leave the clown alone.”

Pennywise glared at the child and snarled “Like what.”

“Like this.” Glenda shouted pulling a small knife from her pocket and stabbed the clown in the eye. Pennywise let out a horrible roar muffling the cackling from his older self as Tiffany dragged her daughter out of the grasp of the rampaging clown.

“I'm not paying for therapy.” she sighed as she dragged her kid out of the room.

---

The four monsters pressed onward into town the rising wind kept the wiser safe in their homes. These four were not among that category. Freddy wiped some frozen ice off his scarred skin and paused outside of the general store after seeing the “closed” sign hanging in the doorway. Up ahead of him Chucky groaned.

“Ugh this trip was pointless we're not gonna find anything open.”

“Then let's break in somewhere Drac can do a hypnosis trick or something.” Leech growled a bit her hunger getting to her as her mentor rolled his eyes.

“You could too if you practiced more.”

“Do you want me to help you get your dick wet or not Dracula.” the younger vampire hissed.

“Are you implying that I need help? My dear you realize I have seduced thousands of women.”

“And yet none of them stuck around.” the dream demon chuckled while elbowing his companions.

Dracula swore loudly in his mother tongue as his companions turned heel down an alley.

“Some of them were murdered!” he called after them then pulled his coat tighter hiding his dark cheeks. Dracula breathed in deep to sigh before proceeding forward when something caught his nose. It was musty, damp and beastial with a hint of the forest. The realization hit him too late….They had been followed.

[tosomeonecherished]

the ‘intruder’ - a kim jongin bulletpoint scenario

okay so you’re currently doing the dishes beCAUSE YOU’RE A GOOD WIFE ™

gently might I add to keep anything from making loud noises because ya husbando had a long day and finally got his needed rest time (not beauty sleep because if that man got any more beautiful i would kamikaze myself)

despite your efforts one of the dishes makes a very loud squeak because you’re a clumsy ass

you felt bad because jongin and the boys had been working very hard to prepare for the new comeback

finally finishing all the dishes you tiptoe to your shared bedroom because you’re a fucking ninja

crawling under the cottten sheets jongin stirs a little in his sleep, turning over and encasing you in his muscular succulent arms

“sowwy if i woke you up bb”

“don’t fret, i was already awake and waiting for you bb”

“that’s very sweet bb but you shouldn’t have done that bb”

“it’s too late, just go to sleep bb”

ANYWAYS

you placed your head right where his heart was the melodic beat slowly lulling you into slumber when you realize

oh shit

i forgot to lock the door

you begin to slowly slither yourself out of jongin’s grasp like a SNAKE ™ (*cough* *cough* I’m talking about phi phi o’hara on rupauls drag race *cough* *cough* wot)

despite your groWN UP age the darks always kinda spooked you and everything downstairs looked very eerie and dark

taking a deep breath, trying to clear your head of thoughts of the spooky things

you got to mario jump over your couch but you catch you foot on the corner almost falling flat on yOUR FACE

you got laugh when you see a shadow move past your window

OH HELL TO THE NAH

you best be bookin your ass out that house and into the po po station

moving to crawl over to the opposite side of the couch to hide your body from view

your mental breakdown ensues

“it’s happening. this is it. imma die. what aboUT MY FISH!???!?!??!???”

but then your mind reaches the conclusion that it could just be a teenager returning home past curfew deciding to take a short cut through your yard

ya that’s right (y/n) you’re an adult person you got this that’s not real

you force yourself to stand up and walk over to the door to check the lock

when bitch…beFORE YOU COULD EVEN LAND A FINGER ON THE DOOR KNOB IT BEGINS TO TURN

slapping both hands over your mouth to prevent yourself from screaming the door knob kept turning but ceased to open

oh thank fuck

you locked the door

you then sonic back to your room to wake jongin beCAUSE YOU NEED HIS MUSCLES

“JONGIN!!?!? WAKE UPPPPP!????”

(you whisper yell because what if the hooligans trying to get into your house hear)

“wot, honey?”

“someone’s trying to get into the house?”

and that’s all it took to get jongin awake because he’s a good husbando and will protect you at all costs IM SOFT

he reached under his pillow and pull out this large ass box cutter hoW THE HELL

“stay here. i’ll go check it out.”

“no way josé. you might need my help.” (“whO TF IS JOSÉ” sorry wrong time for vine references)

“(Y/N), i dont want you to get hurt”

“and I dont want you to get hurt either. what if you get injured and I wasnt even there to help you out. i wouldnt be able to function properly for a while knowing i didnt do anything to help.”

jongin shut his mouth although groves you a pleading look further expressing his want to keep you there

“fine, but you stay behind me at all time. got it?”

“aye aye captain”

walking out of the bedroom the silence of the house gave you goosebumps and the strange shadows the moon was actin down surely wasnt helping

even jongin’s present didnt full put you to ease

once you guys finally reach the kitchen without any sign of the intrueder, the only sound was you and jongin’s heavy breathing and the very quiet hum of the dryer

the dryer stopped shortly after playing a tune that could only resemble the tune of an ice cream truck

usually you found it very uwu worthy but now it was just plain spoopy

*CUE OBNOXIOUS CRASH SOUND*

you and jongin both jump like 87 feet off the ground (it’s like mario and luigi up in this beach)

jongin quickly calms himself down and runs over to the kitchen window while you’re still having a tiny brain aneurism

“i think i see some movement, i’m gonna go check it out.”

“no no no no no no no no no nO NO. that’s how people always die in He movies. hey Susan you wanna check out the growling that came from the empty attic. NO FUCKING THANK YOU BARB. you is not going outside to check what kinda heathen did that.”

jongin walked towards you his thumb slowly grazing your lower lip cupping your cheek

“you are absolutely stunning.”

“NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO MAKE ME ALL MUSHY AND GUSHY JONGIN DEAR THANK YOU VERY MUCH THO FAM.”

don’t worry baby girl. you’ll be fine as long as you stay in the house. when i go outside i want you to lock the door behind me. okay? don’t worry everything’s going to be fine.”

before you could get a word in he slips out the door

“JONGIN? JONGIN?”

but alas he was already out of earshot, although reluctantly you did as he told

you slowly walk back towards the kitchen opening the fridge pulling out a bottle of wine taking a huge swig because it haS BEEN A LONG (ass ride) DAY

it was comepletey silent for what seemed like an hour when in reality it was probably only five minutes

you mind begins to run and the more worried you got the darker the scenarios seemed to unfold, you felt the waterworks coming

interrupting your thoughts a loud squeaking noise ran through the house bouncing off the walls

it sounded like an old door opening on its worn, rusty hinges

you quickly recognized it as the old back door youve been trying to get jongin to fix for the past 5 months

but just because the person got the screen door open doesn’t mean they’ll get the actual door open…unless you forgot to lock it..

you made your way over to the kitchen drawer pulling out this LARGE ASS BUTCHER KNIFE (we going dexter in this beach)

the sound of the second door shutting rang out throughout the room, however had tried to get in succeeded

you heard movement from outside the window spotting jongin so that means the intruder had gotten inside

wishing you could scream for help although you didnt want to give up your hiding spot ducking underneath your counter top

the should of foootsteps only became louder as they got closer to the kitchen… damn if this person didnt kill you a heart attack surely would

you were surprised when he walked right past you to the other side of the kitchen his back facing you

this was you chance

as stealthily as possible you crept towards him ready to strike liKE A SNAKE ™

unfortunately the floor freaked and the intruder spun around to face you, you acted on impulse running toward the person

he quickly flickers on the kitchen lights and grabbed you arm wielding the knife causing you to drop it

“whoa whoa whoA CALM DOWN”

you heart screamed when you realized who it was

“what. the. fuck.?”

“whew you almost gave me a heart attack i thought you were going to kill me.”

“GIVE YOU A HEART ATTACK WHAT THE HELL CHANYEOL I ALMOST COLLAPSED ON THE GROUND AND HAD A SEIZURE FORM BEING SO SCARED AND YOU TALKING TO ME ABOUT ALMOST HAVING A HEART ATTACK I THINK THE FUCK NOT YOU TRICK ASS BITCH.”

“gave you a heart attack? i thought you were a murderer?”

you what someone come through the back door and its a very angry jongin carrying a very spooked baekhyun

“baek?! you were in on this too?”

“no kinda…chanyeol made me.”

your eyes closed as you exhale loudly, picking up the knife you dropped, before heading over to the kitchen cannot to pull out some Advil for you forming headache

“why are you guys here,” asked jongin dropping baekhyun to the floor

“chanyeol wanted to get you back for putting hot sauce in his coffee this morning” baekhyun blurted obviously afraid of jongin’s wrath

jongin chuckled slightly before shutting up completely at your glare

after downing the pill you turn back to the two boys asking,

“can you two assholes please just go home now?”

“yep.”

“now i know not to ask baekhyun for help on a prank ever again”

“JUST GO!!!”

he quickly followed baekhyun out the door leaving just you and jongin

you walked over to jongin as he wrapped him arms around your waist resting your head on his chest, “you better think of a real good way to get them back” “don’t worry im cooking up something real good”

[whatsthedealpinwheel]

shit my dad says. ooooh look at me I've got a freaking lighter said the toaster Yeah shut up I want food We'll have a complete Skank off. You know why mine look good?cause they're not fucking there (about randys tattoos) Its ric wih matt flair! Whats his brothers name? Letter opener? Sexual Almond Turner! I just want to return these tools into your head Edward thinks of nothing but murder all day Time to take a dirt nap! Dirt nap village I could think of better metaphors.... Fucking homocidal Angry squared Good morning percy Good morning ass hole Moo juice Did you know big show can fit miz's entire head in his mouth So bitchin' Im pretty and ill kill you. I ate your children alive; didn't you hear them screaming? Brian; If they mispell his name it'll say brain! Nothing says whorebag like holes in your pants (when you purchase them) Whats his new name blackasaurus Its hard to be a creepy attacker when all you see is pain. The wheels on the bus grind up little children on the pavement Thats what happens when you fold your child up in the changing table. I wanna go to a place were they have hail this big, will that give you a concussion? More like a conclusion. You know i have a knife in ny hand right? Cat full of tables Angria I drink to keep my homocidal urges in check, you asshole They dont wanna see you blathering in the ring, they wanna see you lathering so lets bring down the big tub and watch them really get gay. Now we have to live in a cardbord box in the parking lot of the liquor store The coat hanger is still stuck in his head from the failed abortion My murdered neighbors Do you know that creepy show my mom watches? You should cause your on it! I forgot the tp again! Here honey come have a kiss, blehhhhhhcufhfhsnnsj djcjcnd oh sorry did you drown) That goes to show you you can escape the nazis and still die, if your lucky the crows will pluck your eye from your skull Yes she has a sternum Samoan sickening machine Chris asshole mind fuck Good fuck you morning asshole Jamaican me crazy. Whats it smell like kofi kingstons ass? Mike yetter on the big fish(bass) Tansqeesha Fagin fag like to kiss other men in the locker room in front of men who dont kiss other men-briel Hi im paris who do you want dead I wonder how much he weights Step on the aquarium and see Just what i wanna do pay for clymidia Ow, my life Ive always wanted to be in a band called nun stabber Great your a maraca Big papa dump Surprise sleepover. What she means by that is hello im here to rape you Vintage sasquatch He looks like Alice coopers grandfather Swinging a flag is a lot like playing guitar probably shouldnt do it in the living room Dads sleeve it would say fuck you and your mom and anyone else that didn't think you were a piece of shit Pizza tracker let's you know what lesbian has been working on your pie. Have you ever heard the expression blood bath If I wanted you to shut up I'd stomp on your head till you did And crack! Which Is exactly what he's smoking. What? Crack. Who who what are your a fuckin owl? You look like drew Macintyre bro And her skank team partner If I was blind I'd still hate you. .fuckingcom World war .5 Did you say rammadan? Unfuckular It's like an apple pie accept its lubricated with your blood. Dismembered the corpse!!!! You fucking dinosaur Just imaging Michael cole ass raping himself with his slammy Daddy come in the water! Thunk! Daddy my skull is broken I see says the blind man as he picked up his hammer and saw He didn't want syfilis on contact You know their biggest song is about statutory rape right? Yes we're arguing over cream cheese. It's still warm almost like you found a corpse Maybe it's the cat your strangling What's this beauty and the breast? I spy with my little eye something red headed and angry Fuckin fuck fuck fuckin fuck -love dad baby shredder hi hitler! mangled baby ducks dripping from my jaws oh Paris I love you now let me fuck with your shit you'll never see a bag from Claire's that says I just got a prince Albert see your a poet and I didn't even kill you time to play spaceman! I've had surgery. 5 times in my fucking contact lensed eyes I'm not even Mexican I'm just a midget those damn jews I wish someone would round them up and put them in camps so they can concentrate! your meat kind of dulls my blade stop fagstin suckbriel omg it's William regal and he's getting syphillis by contact! 7 tiny wookies named Michelle I wanna shirt that says John laurenituss swallows shoveling their bodies into the furnace you fuck with me and now I'm pissed off and wanna kick you in the dick you hide under the wheels of the train and I'll tell it to start moving Thomas chugged beer at the party? he was so happy he went into a closet and shot himself soon Thomas was assassinated by his friends what if you inhale liquid does it stay in your lungs? yes that's when you die if your gonna be dickadile I'll be tiny nigger why didn't you graduate? I was Rollin a joint. ok next be captain pike for Halloween oh what are you? beep. they need to bring out jr in a wheelchair beep an it'll be barbie cue sauce running out of his ears nostrils mouth Phil the fucker upper why don't you choose not to be bitch ww blur My job is to murder children. Shut up Remember in crash team racing when you would get. Most juiced up? That's what randy would get: Cm punk meet my cm junk Chincko you know the game on price is right There once was a woman from Venus Who's body was shaped like a ... I painted a big fuckig swastika cause I feel like hurding you all Ito an oven and melting down the gold that's in your teeth Does his head turn into a coach at midnight How can you stand being around yourself Is that when pooh bear raps and pops a couple of caps in someone's ass. It's right here right next to my tounge (Captain Kirk) Planet Sluturn There's always 1 girl not 0 not 2. That's so they don't think they're gay or taking turns on the unfortunate orphan Your synapses must be snappin' AARP American assoiciation of retarded people Cinderella 4 Las Vegas prostitute years Alls that's left is the choo choo train shit Bell. Shoe. Fuck you