#computer gonna go NYOOM when I done with it

[foxshaped]

Ugh computer parts are expensive. But I also haven't upgraded anything since 2018. I'm still rockin that (secondhand) 1080-Ti and 2700X. And I definitely don't know what past Mando was thinking only putting 16 gigs of memory in it.

So I'm dropping like $1500 on this, but I won't need to touch it again for..... idk forever probably.

[akingdomtheorist]

KH Catch Up: KH2FM The FINAL PART

THE FINAL PART WITH LESS THAN TWO MONTHS TO CATCH UP. HOLLOW BASTION

"I forgot how to play this game."

-fleeing enemies- "Because why deal with your problems when you can just nyoom."

SPACE PARANOIDS

"So how does it feel to be pewpewpew'd back?" "Is this what I do to people?"

"I give these Heartless a 3/10. Not a fan."

He went Wisdom Form had no pewpewers remorse after that.

"Is this way to the I/O Tower?" "Well if you walk up to the entryway it'll tell you. You may have to go through a few maps." "Well okay that's great but which way is the I/O Tower?" -literally walks up to the entrance- "I'm sorry."

"Why don't they just reformat the computer?" "That's what the disc is for." "You don't need a program to do that!" "You do when they're sentient!" "Why don't they just CTRL+Alt+DELETE the MCP then?" "He's Win10." "Even Win10 lets you do that! He's Win11."

"Wait, did Leon not put the fuckin' disc in the computer? Aerith put it in the drive?! Leons from a futuristic setting!"

-walks into boss fight- "I didn't save."

"Man, he did deresolution him, he's at 144P now. He's like a JPEG."

Poor guy has hit the Limit Break instead of Delete so many times.

"We just deleted System32."

HOLLOW BASTION IS NOW RADIANT GARDEN

I force him to try Assault of the Dreadnought with the ships I have.

And then we realized where the Full-Auto setting was after all this time and he laughed at my agony.

"This is the most StarFox this game has been." "You don't even KNOW."

"This isn't bad. I've played StarFox Assault and that's not bad."

"Sorry I'm gonna disappoint you with the panic." "Oh we're not there yet."

I got to Mission Level 3 for him to try. Just waiting for the moment... He died BUT MY ENGINEERING WORKED SO WELL! We created Code Rave and our new Teeny Ship 'MAXIMUM PEW' to take on this break in the story. After finding out we need the power of Neon Orb all day all the time, we go back to Atlantica.

ATLANTICA

"We kind of destroyed her (Ursula) last game. Right, that's a thing we did?"

"Did we just have a fight off screen?" "Nah."

"She's plagarizing her!"

"Way to go Eric, you really... really leaped into action there."

"Just kill her, you have a trident, stab her."

"Really? We're having a dance-off to save the universe?"

"Why didn't Triton just impale her? Like Eric just did? When his daughter was in danger?"

Now we need to come back later with Thundaga. Except we don't the game just kicked us out anyway.

There was some trouble that totally didn't happen  with the last song.

"Wait we didn't use Thundaga once."

TWILIGHT TOWN

"Oh it literally won't let me go anywhere else. Well at least they could give me a skateboard."

"Hey Mickey-wait guys stop everything I gotta restart Share Play."

"Well since that's the obvious direction of the plot, let's go the other way."

"Touch. The beam..."

"That's my data. That's me!"

Then he spent 5 minutes theorizing the name because clearly Xehanort is a Nobody name.

"Hi Axel. Why should we leave?"

"Ohh... it's just me..."

"Axel's just like 'don't mind me I'm just casually dying here'."

"Oh stop making puns while you're dying motherfucker."

"Aw he just wanted to bring his boyfriend back."

"Alright fuckin' wannabe Sephiroth." He's upset at Saix.

THE WORLD THAT NEVER WAS

"I'm betting it's Riku."

"Oh it's Roxas!"

"What's my dodge button? That's not the button-THAT'S NOT THE BUTTON!"

"You gotta dodge my dude." "Yes-thank you."

-tries Strike Raid- "OH NO THAT WORKED ON RIKU THAT DOESN'T WORK ON YOU!"

He died. Take 2.

He died. Take 3.

He died. Take 4.

Through the power of technical use of Limiting for more magic and drives, the lock on+dodgeroll tactic, FIVE TIMES THE CHARM.

The Two Become One has been obtained. I await the moment

THREE ANTI-FORMS IN A ROW. I made him try Master form and IT FINALLY HAPPENED. FINAL FORM ACHIEVED.

"Alright these mother fucker's got a giant flyin' saucer..."

"Namine's like, 'I'm bustin you out!'"

"Is this to the final boss?" "Nah."

"He's disguised! He's disguised, that's Riku. He's disguised right?" "Not exactly."

"Kairi's just like no, we're not- no, it's not happenin'."

"KAIRI GETS HER OWN KEYBLADE!"

"Is that DiZ? I mean I knew he was Ansem the Wise but I called that like ages ago."

"Is he gonna Luigi's Mansion all the Heartless into that thing?" "No." "But it looks like it does!"

"Organization XIII is real sassy for people without emotions."

"What are his weapons? How is he supposed to use them? Oh they're guns! I didn't think they'd give him actual guns."

"He doesn't have just a gun it's a fuckin' Halo Needler!" "Does this upset you?" "No, I just think it's a little cheap." "Oh it will though."

He died.

The second time around he abused the speed of Anti-Form to avoid ALL THE BULLETS and ended with a "FUCK YOU" to Xigbar.

"Did he (Berserker Nobody) just Minimize- did he just fuckin' minimize? No more of that."

"Oh Kairi just- cats outta the bag!"

"Riku took hair tips from Axel."

"Oh he's gonna Luigi's Mansion Kingdom Hearts!" "No he's gonna reverse ReBoot it."

"Ohh these are all the Organization Members I've killed? What's Marluxia the- oh of COURSE he's the Graceful Assassin."

Now it's time to play a game with Luxord. It was fairly easy though late on learning all the games was fun to watch in failure.

"Of course your weapon is called Soul Eater you edgy bastard..."

Time to go beat up angry moon barbarian.

"Oh what happened did you lose your weapon buddy?"

He did it first try.

"Yeah no Roxas didn't spend eight hours fighting this fucker."

"Too bad it's impossible [For Roxas to meet Sora] but I'm not gonna say it's 100% impossible, because this is Kingdom Hearts."

"Calling it now this is gonna change Riku back into Riku. I CALLED IT HIS HAIR IS BACK TO NORMAL. Back to his Axel hair."

"Riku get your bangs out of your face."

"Riku is a tol."

"We're finally working together! WE ARE GONNA FIGHT SOMEONE TOGETHER!" "Yeah, you are." "YES, YES-I can't shout because people are sleeping-BUT YES."

"He's- oh my god I'm basically playing as two people. I love this."

"Oh his sword- look it has an angel wing! I just noticed that! Riku dah best."

AND THEN THE GRINDING OF 8 HOURS COMMENCED

We are joined by one more friendo who has completed the game. They will be F2 in conversation quotes.

"Oh that's a lot of Heartless."

"You murdered people. You had a choice to not murder people."

"Okay, is this round one? Yeaaaahh..."

"Okay first round done. I've played the first game I know how this is gonna fuckin' end."

"Well he's dead, we can go home!"

It’s victory, or oblivion. "Well I have Oblivion so, it's just victory then."

"Is the castle fucking alive?"

"Oh we Dr. Strange now."

-uses slicer reaction command- "ALRIGHT Sora just, slice a building in half."

He thinks this is the best part, and he's only just begun.

"We're destroying the engines now? Oh no they're giant Death Star lasers."

"Of course this wouldn't be a Kingdom Hearts game if it didn't have you fighting an old man on a spaceship."

"Mickey uses his powers of darkness! No."

"Is Namine about to Cortana us--OH GOD OH GOD ROXAS JUST WALKED OUT OF ME."

"Roxas and Namine shipping Sora and Kairi together just because they wanna hang out."

"Riku, why do we always lose Kairi? Can we put a tracker on her so when we inevitably lose her again we can just find her?"

"Hey Riku do you wanna pick me up? This seems incredibly unsafe, I'm just standing on a platform."

PHASE FOUR INITIATE

"Did we do it? At least this phase? Are we onto the next phase?" F2 "-laughs- Oh ho ho we're only just getting started buddy."

"That looks bad. Hey Riku I don't like what's happenin' right now. This is a solid 3/10 experience for me."

"Okay Lich King wannabe round 2."

PHASE FIVE INITIATE

"Is it safe to use my drives? Is it? What if- OHHH FUCK." "Remember when I said what if you got knocked off the edge?"

"Oh whaaaaaat oh no."

"Let's just throw buildings at him, that seems to work."

"Hey remember how you have that reaction command that's a shield?" "Shhhhhhhhhhh."

"LET ME AT THE BUILDINGS!"

FINAL PHASE BEGIN

"Buddy... buddy... you are not the Aztec concept of nothing!"

"I can Limit Form!"

"Nope, nope nope, NOPE. STOP IT!" He isn't a fan of the lasers.

"Was he actually damaging me during that?? Let's just heal up!"

"You're gonna wanna spam Reversal." F2 "The DBZ fight continues!"

"Press the button as fast as you can." "Oh, OH IT'S A LIMIT OHHH."

"Oh hey we Roxas now."

"I think I did it?"

"I know you're in Kingdom Hearts 3 Riku, you won't die. Or at least you'll come back."

The final cutscene.

"Awww, Riku's a sap now."

"Sora how does your hair stay like that, you were underwater."

"Mickey just, Pikachu'd Riku." F2 "That's just how things work in this world, don't judge." "I didn't know Riku was Mickey's Pokemon Trainer."

"Riku get your hair out of your face. Don't you have a mom that can cut your hair?"

"Who are you? Some Anubis motherfucker-WHO ARE YOU? Why are we in Destiny now?!"

"Those are our keyblades..."

"Oh my god... that's a lot of Keyblades."

KH2FM has been beaten! At least, the main game anyway. I have a few more things I'm going to make him do first.

LINGERING WILL ATTEMPT TIME!

"Why is there a black hole in our castle?" F2 "I think we should go into that black hole."

F2 "Remember that place you saw thirty seconds ago? That is not this place."

"UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...."

"I don't like this."

"I'm not Xehanot, I'm not-I'm not-I'M NOT!"

"OH GOD HIS HEALTH WHAT THE FUCK?!"

He died in about thirty seconds. His second attempt was in two seconds!

"Well that's it for that boss!"

CAVERN OF REMEMBRANCE

-sees the car heartless- "Nope we're not dealing with these fuckers nope."

-takes look around the second room- "Help."

"Help. Help. Hlep."

Yes I helped him, I'm not a demon. No that third one is not a typo.

"That might have been the one time you wouldn't have wanted to revert." "Oh really? Whatever."

"Wait, is this the longest hallway?" "WELCOME TO THE LONGEST HALWAAAAAAY."

-beats first quarter- "Am I done now?" "Oh you sweet summer child." "You know you could just say no." "Yeah but that's boring."

Nothing says the longest hallway like eleventeen uses of Final Form!

"Fuck that place, fuck that hallway."

"Garden of Assemblage? Oh it's a place to redo all the boss fights!" "You're missing some because you need to do the absent silhouettes." "Aaaand we're done with this game!"

I made him to attempt Sephiroth.

"So a tip. When you fight Sephiroth, spam triangle." "Okay?" "While the cutscene is loading, spam triangle."

"Why do you have knee wings Sephiroth?"

He tried twice and gave up.

Well that's it, it's now 358/2 Days watch next! That’ll be all one part