#compounded by kiss the earth that birthed you but doing this like kissing the ring

[bericas]

scott appreciation week (day 1) → a teenage boy

that's the way every day goes, every time we've no control.

[yelenasdiary]

Stay With Me, My Dear

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Summary: Reader’s life after Natasha’s death. 

Very Angst with lil fluff | 4.2K | mentions of death, pregnancy, child birth, grief | 

Notes: flashbacks are in bold & italic with ~.

AC: I’m thinking about Nat’s death…again. I have written something like this once before for my old blog, but this is one is more improved. Sorry for the very Angst. I miss Nat. I have a part two to this, let me know if you want it!

“Tell my family I love them” Clint spoke in a rush to jump only to be hit by Natasha’s widow bites. “Do it yourself” she stood over him, her foot pressed heavily on his chest, “You have to look after her for me” she looked down at him, “You’ll be doing that yourself” Clint snapped back trying to squirm out from under his best friend’s foot, she zapped him once more with her bites. “Look after her” she repeated herself sternly, “and my little nectarine” she added. Clint’s eyes shot open; Natasha gave him a soft smile before taking the leap off the cliff.

Clint had never moved so fast in his life, gripping Natasha’s hand tightly as she dangled from the cliff side. “I’m not letting you leave her” he’s eyes filled with tears, using all his strength to keep them from both falling. “It’s okay” Natasha whispered, “she’ll understand in time” she adds. Clint shook his head, “this is what you’ve always wanted!” 

“Let me go” she spoke softly, giving him a soft smile that spoke a thousand words as she let go of his gripped. He saw she slipped from his hand or maybe he saw the inner peace in her eyes. Now she lay, given her life for the entire earth. 

You waited patiently in the conference room of the Avengers compound, pacing back and forth for what felt like hours. Waiting for Pepper to rush in to tell you they were back and safe, that you wife of 6 years had returned. 

~ “Natasha, do you take Y/n to be your lawfully wedded wife? To love and to hold through sickness and health till death do you part?” 

“I do” she smiled softly, her green eyes never leaving yours as she slipped the diamond ring on your finger. 

“Y/n, do you take Natasha to be your lawfully wedded wife? To love and to hold through sickness and health till death do you part?” 

“Maybe” you winked. The guests chuckled at your playfulness. The marriage officiant looking at you for a real answer. “I do” you smiled softly and slipped the ring on Natasha’s finger. 

“I now pronounce you wife and wife; you may kiss the bride” 

Natasha lent forward, “this is forever” she whispered before her lips crashed onto yours. 

The guest clapped; the photographer took photos. 

“About time!” Yelena mumbled while clapping. ~

Twisting your wedding finger around your finger as your hands hovered over your barely showing baby bump. A secret only you, Natasha and the doctors knew about. “She’ll come home honey; I know she will” you whispered. 

~ “Morning mama” Nat smiled before placing a kiss on your temple, you chuckled lightly, her hand protectively resting on your stomach. “When can we tell people?” you asked with excitement she her thumb gently stroked your soft and warm skin. 

“Do we have too? I’m sure in a few months they’ll work it out” she replied. 

“Babe, our 12-week mark was last week, if you’re worried about something, it’s safe to share the news now” you explained. “I know” she kissed your cheek, “I just want to enjoy the two of you to myself a little longer” she added.

“Now how am I supposed to argue with that?” you cupped her face gently before pressing your lips against hers. ~

The clock ticked louder with every passing second. “Surely they’re back by now” your brows frown as you looked towards the door. Your heart skipped a beat when the handle moved, “finally!” you sighed with relief. Expecting to see Pepper walk in, your smile grew in hopes that the plan worked, and the team were able to get everybody back from Thano’s snap.

Your smiled turned to a confused look when Clint stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. Your heartbeat started to race; his eyes were glued to his feet as he swallowed the lump in his throat. “Clint?” you spoke softly, he lifted his head slowly and tried his best to you a soft smile, but his eyes spoke more than his lips did. 

“Clint” you repeated yourself with a slightly stern tone. Your biggest worry about his mission slowly became more and more real as the silence in the room deepened. “Where is she?” you asked. 

“I” he paused for a moment, “I couldn’t stop her” he spoke. Your heart sunk at his words, your eyes moved to the door behind him as you huffed in reply, “don’t lie to me, Clint. If she’s just pulling another one of her jokes, this one is sick” 

“I wish it was” he watched as you tried to not believe his words, ignoring the tears in your eyes, the anger of grief building up. “She wouldn’t leave me” your glassy eyes looked at him, “she wouldn’t!”

Clint took the small steps closer to you, slowly bring his hand to your stomach, “she loved you both” he whispered. You heart sunk deeper; he knew. You shook your heard, “No!” you broke. The tears found their own way out of your eyes, Clint wrapped his arms around you tightly to stop you from falling to your knees as you cried harder into his hold. “No” you said over and over. He didn’t dare to let you go until Pepper knocked softly on the door, letting herself into the room. Her own eyes red from the news. 

“T-Tony needs you” she placed a soft hand on his shoulder. You gripped Clint tighter, not wanting to let go of the once person who saw the last moments of your wife. “I’ll take care of her” Pepper added. Clint nodded slowly, his grip became loose, your body naturally wanting to be on the ground he guided you down to your knees. “She can’t be gone” you looked at him, his special suit damp from your tears. He didn’t have any words; Pepper quickly took your numb body into her own arms. It was then that Clint hated the position Natasha had put him in. 

----

As the weeks went on, you locked yourself in the shared room you and Natasha had at the compound, her side of the bed untouched, her clothing left as was, her jewellery starting to collect dust. Clint was the only one who knew you were pregnant; he was worried when you shut everybody around you out. Even when the team went off to defeat Thano’s, you remained in the dark room that still smelt of her perfume. You could still hear her voice, the feel of her touch whenever she wrapped her arms around you, the sound of her laugh when you told her a crappy joke, she was still here but missing.

Clint brought you healthy foods and any vitamins you needed and always made sure you had fresh water on the bedside table. You only ate because of the baby, you only spelt because of the baby, you only did what you had too because of the baby. 

“It’s a nice day today, we should go for a walk” Clint sat down on the end of your big, lonely bed. Your eyes were glued to the photo of Nat in a frame on your bedside table, you shook your head and snuggled into the pillow Nat would lay her head at night, the smell of her shampoo still lingering. “Come on, I know you don’t want too but some sunshine and fresh air might help” Clint encouraged. 

“Help?” you huffed, “the sun and fresh air isn’t going to bring her back!” you shuffled into a seat position. “I know she told you to look after me, but I…we don’t need that” 

Like Natasha, you were stubborn at times. Maybe that’s why you both worked so well together, being able to pull each other out of the suborn behaviour.

“Y/n it’s been 6 weeks, I think you know Natasha wouldn’t allow you to be like this for this long” Clint spoke, “you have to get up, you have to live again” he adds. His words feel knifes ripping your heart out. “How am I supposed to live again?” your eyes teared up once more, “We had plans, we had a future and now it’s just” you stopped yourself, unable to continue, making it reality. 

“What would you want Natasha to do if the tables were turned? Would you want her locked up in a room, barely eating or sleeping? Missing important appointments? Closing everybody out? Y/n, she loved you, I’ve never known her to love anybody or anything as much as she loved you. I know she wouldn’t want this for you, but you know Natasha…she already made up her mind before I had a chance” 

The mention of her name made your heartbreak more, tears slowly ran down your cheeks as you twisted the wedding ring once again. 

“Wanda misses you, we all do” he spoke to break the silence. You felt guilty that you hadn’t seen Wanda since her return, she’d just lost vision and felt the same way you did but you still couldn’t bare yourself to face anybody, you felt selfish.

“H-how is she?” you asked. 

“She’s in the same boat as you, she could use her best friend” Clint replied with hopes this might help the two of you grief together. “You ha-haven’t told anybody, right?” you sobbed uncontrollably, “About the little bell pepper? No, that’s yours and Nat’s news” 

A broken smile tugged at your lips when he mentions the vegetable, you’d been keeping track of the baby’s growth on a popular app, you remembered how much Natasha loved checking it daily and getting excited each time the baby was the size of something different. 

~ “How’s mama and our little kidney bean?” Natasha asked once the compound kitchen was clear, leaving a kiss on your lips. “Kidney bean?” you chuckled. “Yeah, at 8 weeks they’re about the size of a kidney bean right now” her eyes full of excitement. ~

If anybody asked you 15 years ago if you wanted children, the answer was also no. You were career focus before meeting joining the Avengers. You weren’t exactly an Avenger, but Tony paid you well to deal with things outside the Avengers, like news reporters, administration duties, and other small like jobs around the compound. It was only meant to be a temporarily job until you saved enough money to start your own business but then you met Natasha. The famous Black Widow, the woman most feared but not you. 

She felt like home, she was home. She opened your mind to the idea of so many different things and seeing her with Clint’s children made your heart move and you knew then, one Christmas lunch at the Barton’s while Natasha was holding baby Nathaniel that all those comments about “you’ll find somebody you want to have kids with” were true. You had found the person you wanted to do everything with, the person to have a family with. 

“I miss her so much, I keep expecting her to walk through that door in her suit and throwing her bag on the floor” you wiped your tears, “I don’t know if I can do this without her Clint…it wasn’t supposed to be like this” 

“You can” Clint softly smiled, “you’re a lot stronger than you think and you’re silly to think that we would let you do this alone. You and Natasha are family, so is that little baby. You’re not alone” he assures you. Your eyes flickered to the photo of Nat again, Clint was right, if you were Natasha there’s no way you’d allow her to be this stubborn. 

----

By 24 weeks you were comfortable to tell everybody around you, hiding your bump by wearing Natasha’s oversized sweaters was a good idea to you. You’d planned to tell everybody at over a family lunch.

~ “Natty!” you smiled as she walks through the door. “Somebody missed me” she chuckled, hugging you tightly. “I have news” you smirked, “close your eyes” you added. 

Natasha sat on the end of the bed with her eyes closed, quickly and excitingly you grabbed the new-born shirt and placed it on her lap. “Okay open” you smiled widely again. Natasha looked down at her lap, a small t-shirt reading “Mommy’s cutie” started back at her. “Baby” she spoke ever so softly before looking up at you, “We’re having a baby?” she asked just to confirm it for sure. You nodded, “yes darling” you walked up and stood between her legs and wrapped your arms around the back of her neck, “All is well so far” you smiled. Nat didn’t waste any time as she pulled you down and kissed you deeply. “I love you both so much” she smiled against your lips. ~

It wasn’t easy adjusting to the snap but eventually you and Natasha agreed that it was time to start living once again. With that, you both started to plan a future together, both settling on looking at a home to buy while the talk of children stole the conversation. You had a list of houses for sale that the two of you loved saved on your laptop, the two of you looked online almost every night before bed. Natasha had the laptop sitting on her lap while you snuggled into her side. 

~ “I love the feature wall!” you pointed out as Natasha flicked through photos of a 4-bedroom house, “and that kitchen is big enough my goodness!” you gasp. “Yeah?” Natasha chuckled, “you a want a big kitchen?” she asked. “Uhm, duh?! Somebody has to cook for us and it’s not going to be you” you replied with a chuckle. 

“What’s wrong with my cooking?” Nat cocked an eyebrow, “oh nothing honey” you kissed her cheek, “I just don’t feel like peanut butter sandwiches for breakfast lunch and dinner” you joked causing her to laugh and close the laptop before attacking you with kisses, “nothing wrong with my sandwiches, you don’t complain at 1:30am after a few drinks” she teased. ~

“Y/n” Clint’s voice broke your memory flash back. “Huh?” you looked over your shoulder and saw him standing by your door, “yeah, sorry. Just having a moment” you replied, your right hand gently rubbing over your hidden baby bump. 

“There’s somebody here to see you” he spoke. “Who?” you frowned with confusion. 

“Yelena” he replied. Your heart felt like it broke once more. You’d only met Yelena four times before the snap. Each time you could see how much Natasha loved her even if they teased each other endlessly. When Nat couldn’t get in contact with Yelena after the snap it took a toll on her, and she only let it show whenever she was a lone or alone with you. 

“Sh-she’s here?” you spoke with a surprised tone. “She’s downstairs, do you want me to send her up?” he asked earning a light nod. Once Clint left the room, you looked back to the photo of Nat on your bedside table just for a moment, you couldn’t look too long, or you broke down in tears. 

It wasn’t long until you heard the sound of combat boots walking towards your room from the hall, your eyes dropped to your bump, rubbing gently with a soft smile, “time to meet auntie Yelena, little cantaloupe”. You took a deep breath in before turning to greet Yelena. Your heart broke at the sight of her, you could see she didn’t take the news well. Nobody did. The two of you looked at each other in silence for a moment before you spoke. 

“You’re okay” 

Yelena nodded, “I came as soon as I heard” she lowered her head. Yelena wasn’t one for hugs, especially from people she barely knew but all you wanted to do was hug her tightly so you closed the gap between the two of you, “I’m glad you’re here” you watched her slowly lift her head, “She wasn’t the same with you…she tried to find you, contact you but we couldn’t find you and nobody had heard from you so we guessed you were gone with the snap” you explained, “She always spoke about you, Yelena” you added as tears filled her eyes, “I loved her so much” she broke. 

“And she loved you” you wrapped your arms around her and hugged her tightly, surprised when she didn’t push you away but instead clung to you. “I loved her so much” she repeated, your own tears now making their daily route down your cheeks.

You held Yelena until her crying became silence sobs, she pulled away and wiped her tears. “How are you?” she asked once she was about to pull words together again. “I’m working on it” you replied honestly, “I miss her so much, sometimes I still feel her around me” your right hand hovered over your stomach, hesitatingly wanting to rub your bump for comfort but didn’t want to scare Yelena without telling her first. “I have to tell you something” you looked at her, she nodded for you to go ahead, “is everything okay? Do you need anything?” she asked. “No but thank you…uhm” you paused; a memory of how excited Nat was to tell Yelena waved into your mind before you could speak once more. 

Slowly you took a seat at the end of your bed, “what is it Y/n?” Yelena asked before sitting beside you, your eyes glued to your feet as you took a deep breath in. 

“I’m pregnant” 

Yelena’s eyes widened; her brows frowned slightly. You saw her confusion and spoke before she could. “We did it via a donor… I didn’t cheat on her” you confirmed. 

“I’m going to be an Auntie?” a faint smiled tugged on Yelena’s lips. She became excited but tried to hide it, you smiled softly at her and nodded. “Did Nat know?” she asked. 

“Yeah, I was 14 weeks when sh- “You couldn’t bring yourself to say it, Yelena just nodded as single tear rolled down her face, “what are you now?” she asked. “I’m currently 24 weeks” your hand finally coming to rest on the bump. “And Melina and Alexei, have you told them?” 

“I haven’t, I was about to tell everybody today over lunch. Clint, Natasha, my doctor, and myself were the only ones who knew, Nat told Clint before it everything happened”

“You have to tell them, before the others, right?” 

“I don’t have a way of contacting them”

Yelena pulled out her phone and quickly pulled up Melina’s contact. “Is FaceTime, okay?” she asked before you gave her a nod. 

----

6 weeks later and your grief was still just as strong and painful, but you had the love and support of everybody around you to keep you going. Each time your app told you the baby grew and was now the size of some different fruit or vegetable, you couldn’t help but looked to the photo on your bedside table and tell Nat. 

“They’re about the size of a broccoli now” you smiled softly at the photo. You wondered how Nat would’ve been by now, would she be throwing different names at you, or would she be the type to buy the baby clothing whenever she found something cute, all these wonders you were robbed of. 

Packing Natasha’s things was one of the hardest things you’ve ever done. You weren’t getting rid of them or donating them, but you decided it was time to buy a home even if you truly didn’t believe it was time but when would it be time? You made an offer on a house that Natasha loved, and you often found her revisiting the listing when she was alone, the seller couldn’t resist your offer and accepted withing a few days. 

Clint, Tony, and Steve offered their working hands to help do any touch ups or renovations which you took their offer kindly. Natasha mentioned if this was the house, you’d both buy that she wanted to open the living room up more but knocking out one of the walls to let more sunlight in. Wanda helped decorate the home to a liking that felt comfortable and like Natasha was there, you didn’t want to ever feel like she never existed. 

Photos of her in frames hang proudly on the walls, her clothing was hung up in the wardrobe of the master bedroom, her jewellery and perfume sat out on the dresser exactly how it was back at the compound, her side of the bed stay made for her to come home to like it always ways when she left for missions. 

You worked on the nursery, painting the walls in a light nectarine colour as it was the last fruit you were Natasha call the unborn child. A photo of you and Nat hung on the wall above the baby’s crib with a Black Widow plushie waiting for the tiny human to cuddle, a gift from Yelena. Wanda made a mobile for the crib that had photos of the team, Yelena, Melina & Alexei, Natasha, and your close family members on it to show the baby how big their family was. 

Yelena also moved into the home. She needed a place to live, and you didn’t want to be alone, the pair of you still grieving deeply over Natasha that it helped the two of you cope. Plus, Yelena secretly just wanted to be around once the baby was born. 

----

At 38 weeks you were over being pregnant, your back ached, your bladder was a joke at this point, your feet and ankles were swollen, you could never get comfortable, and your clothing was frustrating annoyed you. For a while now you had no choice but to wear maternity clothing and you hated it. 

Yelena’s excitement grew just as much as yours was, and you couldn’t help but think the baby was the perfect distraction from the pain left in your heart. The first 14 weeks of your pregnancy was shortly lived, the only time the baby had with their mother and the giddy conversations you loved having with Natasha didn’t last a chance. You chose not to know the gender of the baby until they were born, it gave you something extra to get excited about. Yelena was slightly frustrated as she just wanted to know if she was going to have a niece or nephew. 

At night when you couldn’t sleep because it didn’t matter what position you were in, you were never comfortable, you found yourself running through baby names as you twisted the wedding ring on your finger that was never taken off. You wondered which names Natasha would’ve liked or which names she’d suggest, you wondered if she would be all over you and your bump, stroking her hand over your swollen stomach as you tried to sleep, or she would talk to the baby so they could get used to her voice. All these thoughts eventually ended up with you in tears, crying silently to yourself. 

The team have given you everything you needed for when the baby arrived, an endless supply of nappies and wipes filled up one of the spare rooms. You were sure you’d never have to spend a penny on clothing for the baby, everybody else had seem to have done that for you. 

When your water broke Yelena rushed you to the hospital, you were excited to finally meet the baby, but your heart still ached for Natasha. She should’ve been here holding your hand, coaching you through the contractions, whispering sweet nothings to you as you screamed at her in pain. 

“Alright mama, one more push and your baby will be here” the midwife smiled. Nobody had called you mama but Natasha and suddenly a sense of warmth washed over you, the same feeling Natasha gave you whenever you were nervous or having a small anxiety attack. 

“You’ve got this Y/n” Yelena smiled. 

One last push and the overwhelming cry of your baby filled the room. Tears of joy rolled down your cheek as you closed your eyes and whispered “they’re here baby” for Natasha. 

“Congratulations mama it’s a beautiful, healthy baby girl” the midwife handed the bundle of joy into your warms. 

Yelena took a step back and let you have a moment with your daughter. 

“Hi baby” you whispered, instantly placing a small kiss on her little forehead. 

Later that night while you were resting, Yelena rocked the baby to sleep in her arms, quickly growing protective over the little girl that filled her heart with a love and joy she never knew existed. 

You woke up and smiled to yourself at the sight. 

“I’m going to need your help Lena” you whispered not to wake the baby who was yet to be named. “Of course, anything you need” she softly spoke back. “No, I mean, I’m going to need your help in teaching her everything there is to know about Nat. I need her to know everything, she will know who her mother is” you explained. Yelena nodded, “like I was ever going to let her forget” she joked, “isn’t that right mini-Romanoff” she looked down at your daughter in her arms. 

You smiled at the nickname Yelena gave her, “I was thinking maybe Daniella Natalia Romanoff, Dani for short” you spoked. Already set that if you were to have a girl that her middle name would be related to Natasha. “I never got to discuss names with Nat” you added. 

“Dani Romanoff” Yelena smiled before carefully handing you the sleeping baby. 

Taglist: @red1culous | @sayah13 | @charl-lally | @when-wolves-howl | @bentleywolf29 | @fxckmiup | @natasha-belova | @blackwidow-3 | @lissaaaa145 | @high--power | @mmmmokdok | @wackymcstupid | @kiwiana145 | @shin-conan-kun | @nattyolw | @ripofflizzie | @parkerdaramitzzzz 

[bonky-n-steeb]

𝑅𝐸𝑀𝐸𝑀𝐵𝐸𝑅

PART ONE

𝙇𝙊𝙆𝙄 𝙭 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙍 | 𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙑𝙀 𝙍𝙊𝙂𝙀𝙍𝙎 𝙭 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙍

𝗦𝗨𝗠𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗬: Bored after staying on Asgard your entire life, you decide to sneak on earth. But what happens when Steve falls irrevocably in love with you, the Queen of Asgard, wife of Loki.

𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦: yandere, obsession, death, violence, cursing, manipulation. If you find any of this triggering, please DNI. Also inform me if I left something out.  

ɴᴏᴛ ʙᴇᴛᴀ ʀᴇᴀᴅ, ᴀʟʟ ᴍɪsᴛᴀᴋᴇs ᴀʀᴇ ᴍɪɴᴇ

As you know my previous account got deleted and therefore I have to post this again... Hope you guys like it!

SERIES MASTERLIST || MASTERLIST

You sat reading a book in the ethereal gardens of the Palace, with your back pressed against a tree. Loki had brought that book from Midgard. You loved reading, and Loki always got you books from all over the nine realms. That’s how you had bonded in the very beginning.

As you read the book, you had a feeling you already knew what was going to happen, as if you had already read it. So, you closed it and stared at the grand garden before you. Filled with plethora of flowers, the sweet smell diffusing in the air, the palette of colors pleasing the eye.

“Do you need something?” Your maid asked. You shook your head, “I don’t, and even if I needed something I would take it myself.” You gave her a smile at that.

You were the daughter of a common farmer; you were independent since your birth. You had a habit of doing everything by yourself and even despite it being years since marrying Loki, you still couldn’t quite get adjusted to maids. They weren’t servants for you, they were your friends. Your humility and intelligent was something Loki had fallen head over heels for.

The entire Asgard was happy and wonderfully surprised when Loki had announced that he would be marrying you. A common girl with barely any powers was marrying the God of Mischief and the king of Asgard; that had generated quite the rumors, some even thought it was one of his pranks. Even you were worried, but Loki had chased all your worries away.

Despite Thor being the elder brother, Loki had been crowned as the king. Though Thor was powerful and had immense strength, he neither wished to be the king, nor did he have the time to be one. He was rather busy with Midgard and thus Loki had taken the mantle.

When it came to you, even despite being the God of Lies, Loki never lied. He was the best husband you could ask for. Taking your opinions in consideration, asking for your help, cherishing you, loving you more than anybody else. He didn’t rule Asgard alone, no, he ruled Asgard alongside you.

You had changed him; from the selfish Loki whose heart was filled with vengeance, you had made him into a noble and beloved king. But still he never stopped pulling pranks on you, and you took it just as lightly. He was still very mischievous at his heart and you had accepted him with all he brought along.

There was just one thing he didn’t allow: you visiting Earth. And that was only because he was worried for you. The people of Midgard had not taken his attack lightly, and they were still very much furious. Though they were now on good terms, he didn’t want anything to happen to you. You were his everything.

And visiting Earth at least once was one of the only things you wanted. Literally everyone had been to Midgard except you. Even Loki and definitely Thor frequented Midgard, but not you. Once a month you both used to come to that topic and he would brush you off, promising you to take somewhere else. And that maybe fueled your need to go to Midgard even more.

“What are you thinking about, my love?” When you heard his sweet yet authoritative voice, you smiled softly. Lost in thoughts you hadn’t even noticed he was sitting beside you. You inhaled deeply, “I was thinking about the forbidden fruit. I was thinking what would go wrong if I went to Midgard. Just once Loki, just once. That’s the only thing I ask of. I’ve heard the Earth is circular, unlike Asgard!” You asked giving him your best puppy dog eyes.

“Now my beloved, how many times, huh? How many times do I have to list the reasons why you shouldn’t visit Midgard. I won't be able to live if something happens to you. I will go insane, there won’t be a point in living.” He gently took your chin between his fingers and pressed a soft kiss to your cheek.  

“I know Loki, I love you too. But aren’t your relations with Earth better now? And Thor goes there all the time and so do you! And I have powers Loki!” You had the powers of making anyone reveal the truth. You were a rarity; a commoner with powers. Your ability to extract truth was really an ace at your side while ruling Asgard.

“We don’t know if someone is holding any grudge. I can’t risk it. Ask me anything, I will search the entire universe for it and bring it upon your feet. Just not Earth. Now I don’t want to ruin such a perfect day by arguing with you.” Before you could speak further, he shut you with a kiss.

As you both laid in each other embrace, you got lost in the abyss of his eyes. “Oh Loki, do you know how much I love you?” With eyes full of mischief, “Well you do know a certain way to show your love, my beloved wife.” He quipped.

~~~

Today Thor was leaving for Midgard. And at the same time, you had made your plans to sneak. You had started wondering if Loki had a mistress there, well what else could be his reason for not permitting you to visit Earth.

One part of the plan was already in action. You had shared your concerns with Heimdall. He had been awfully quiet but when you had pleaded and asked of it as a favor for his Queen, he had agreed. On the condition that you would return within 3 days, or else he would pull you back to Asgard. You had happily agreed.

The plan was simple, while he would transport Thor, you would go too, you just had to stand close enough to Thor. All excited, you got ready in the best of your clothes. You knew they didn’t dress like this on Midgard, but you had an impression to make as the Queen of Asgard.

The dark green silk robe complimented your emerald wedding ring; you wore button earrings and connected them to your hair clip with chains. You let your hair down but not without braiding few locks of hair; your right index and ring fingers were adorned with your best rings. You wanted to wear your crown, but decided it would be too much for Midgardians; after all you were going there for vacation, you had no plans of ruling earth.

Not many were there to say goodbye to Thor, the Prince travelled very frequently. You were glad that today neither Loki nor the warriors were there. “Goodbye Thor, have a safe journey!” You said as you stood a little too close to him. It was your signal for Heimdall to transport you to Midgard. “Thank you, sister...” before Thor could complete his sentence, you were both sucked into the wormhole.

~~~

It was a.... cool experience to say at least. To be honest, you had no idea. You had kept your eyes closed through half of the journey, and you had probably screamed your throat dry. You did travel through the Bifrost at times but Loki always held you tight. Today though you were spinning all by yourself in the rainbow tunnel. Thank the Norns, it was over faster that you expected.

As Thor landed gracefully in the Avengers compound, you landed straight on your ass and skidded halfway across, bruising you elbow and knuckles.

Thor’s voice boomed aloud, as you tried to get up rubbing your aching ass, “Oh dear Sister! Are you alright?” He said as he helped you get up, “Well, Heimdall didn’t tell me how to land.” You tried to lighten the mood.

“There must have been some mistake. Don’t worry I’ll call Heimdall to send you back.” He said softly while rubbing your elbow as he began praying to Heimdall.

“Uhh, well Thor, that’s not needed. And this... this wasn’t an accident at all. I kind of made a deal with Heimdall and he sent me here...” Thor’s eyes widened with shock and what you thought was anger. You had never ever seen Thor get angry at you, ever. And you were truly scared now.

Thor and you were best of friends. It was as if you two were siblings, not Thor and Loki. As you looked at him now, you knew you had truly screwed up. You knew your decision would anger Loki, but his anger you could handle. You weren’t quite sure about it with respect to Thor.

“You did what? You aren’t supposed to be here! You are going back to Asgard before anyone sees you.” He held you by your elbow and it hurt like hell. “But Thor,...” you tried pleading. Maybe you had not guessed the extent of your family’s anger correctly and you knew you were going to pay for it badly.

“I wasn’t asking you.” He said in an impersonal tone. “You need to understand this is for your own good.” You were tired of listening to the same thing over and over again for so many years. And you finally snapped.

“Tell me the truth Thor! I know that’s not the only reason, why don’t you people want me to come here? Does... does Loki have a mistress here? Huh? I’m so sick of listening to you people give me all kinds of stupid reasons to keep me away from here! You know, if maybe you had not reinforced the fact that I’m not allowed to visit Midgard again and again, then maybe I wouldn’t be so obsessed with coming here.” You couldn’t hold your tears back.

“It’s not what you are thinking, trust me sister, Loki only loves you. But we need to go now and don’t use your powers on me.” You snatched your hand away from him. He was correct in guessing your intentions, you were going to use your powers on him to make him say the truth. But his anger held you back. After all, he was your family, and this visit to earth was just three days long.

“There’s one catch; you can’t take me back. I told you, I’ve made a deal with Heimdall. It includes that He won’t open the Bifrost for me to leave Earth until the evening of the third day!”

~~~

The Avengers were all gathered in the briefing room. Thor was coming back and they needed to discuss an important upcoming mission. As Steve stood telling everyone about the mission, they could hear the tell-tale noise of the rainbow tunnel as they called it.

Tony yawned loudly and stood up from his chair, he was least bit interested in the meeting and just wanted to get out. “Thor is here. We should go meet him.” He said stretching. Steve rolled his eyes, while Nat and Clint got up.

“We can continue, Thor knows where to come.” Steve interjected. “I guess Tony is right on this one.” Wanda said shrugging. Before they could continue, they heard the noise of Thor and a lady arguing. Her voice was vaguely familiar.

“Let’s go!” Tony said excitedly as he hoped to get a little more spice on this dull day. Reluctantly even Steve joined the entire group as they walked outside. Thor was facing them and from his gestures even they knew he was truly angry. The lady had her back to them, her golden magic swirling around her hand, showing her anger and annoyance at Thor. She was dressed in the finest fabric.  

Thor stood still and suddenly stopped fighting as he saw literally all of the Avengers looking at the two of them with keen interest. You saw his stunned and somewhat worried expression, so before he could stop you whipped your head around.

The moment you turned, Steve’s heart stopped in his chest. He couldn’t believe his eyes. This was not true; this couldn’t be true. You were just like in his dreams, if not more beautiful. Your eyes pulled him in like sirens calls. Your voice a sweet balm on his heartache. You looked like a goddess, and he was sure you were one. But, how could you possibly be here? So very real, standing in front of him in all your grace, just as if to taunt him.

You tilted your head in confusion, all of them, literally all of them were staring at you as if they had seen a dead person walk out of the grave. “Uh, well, you must be the Avengers I’ve heard so much about! It was rude of us to fight out here, and I apologize for the commotion. Let me introduce myself, I’m Y/N, The Queen of Asgard and the wife of the beloved King Loki.”

As you said the words, all of the Avengers’ eyes widened with confusion, as fear and anger gripped their hearts.

[crue-sixx]

Title: Oracle

Fandom: The Dirt (CastxMadison)

Summary: Madison is a soldier with psychic powers.  She and another woman, Katie escape the Compound that they were forced to live in since childhood to find help for the younger prisoners, and split up.  Madison stumbles to New Orleans where the Dirt is currently being filmed.  There she meets a male with psychic powers-a rarity.

Note: All caps are telepathic messages

A/N: Happy birthday @crue-sixx!  Used her name with permission for this imagine!  (Katie is me)

Throughout history, there have been people with psychic abilities that vary in occurrence and strength.  Most people who have them don't even know they do and go their whole lives without so much as a peep from their abilities but others have used them to their advantage.  For a time they were called witches and hunted down and slaughtered in the name of various gods.  Some were seen as gods themselves, and they used their power to dominate the masses into unquestioned obedience.

However, when the witch hunts came around most of those with psychic abilities had died out-some cases entire bloodlines were snuffed out.  In the present day, roughly about 20% of the population  have psychic abilities, the most common among them being telekinesis or telepathic.  98% of those with abilities are women.  Some of the more uncommon abilities are an elemental power-fire. water, earth and air.  The rarest of abilities was precognition, those who possess this kind of power were once revered and called oracles.

In today's world, those with abilities are captured and exploited for the personal gain of people in power.  Madison and Katie were such psychic soldiers, Madison having telepathic powers and Katie with telekinesis.  They were sisters, biologically and mentally.  Katie was the older one, and after her birth the Ghost Division (a top secret organization that pulls off assassinations and influence the decisions made by politicians) kept a close eye on the family to see if they would produce another person with an ability.

When they did, baby Madison was whisked away in the night.  The retrieval unit left a trail of corpses in their wake, as was expected the mother and father put up a valiant effort to protect the child. From birth, Madison and Katie were pumped full of drugs in an attempt to make their abilities stronger, or even able to wield dual abilities.  They were separated for most of the day, having been put with other prisoners who shared their abilities.  The only time they were allowed contact was during mealtimes.

The Ghost Compound was a refurbished prison, with 24/7 audio/visual surveillance and everything automatic.  Like a smart house, everything could be remotely controlled from an outside source.  Even the rings on their fingers could be triggered at anytime.  The rings were more like shackles, if they were to try to take them off, then an electric shock would go off.  It was during lunch one day that it was found out what would happen if someone were to cut off their finger.

A young girl of about 12 had taken her steak knife and started to chop off the finger, but right before the blade hit the skin the ring let out a piercing scream and a second later the poor girl was convulsing on the floor with a pink foamy mixture of blood and saliva oozing from her mouth.  When she stopped convulsing, an announcement went over the intercom "That is what happens when you defy my authority.  Defiance equals death.  Remember that, my Beauties, and we'll get on just fine".  Madison and Katie just stared at the dead girl, who was now being taken away to the incinerator to be disposed of.

Of course the younger inmates were terrified and kept eating as if nothing happened.  Madison locked eyes with Katie and sent a telepathic message- CANT KEEP LIVING LIKE THIS.  Katie nodded, her being unable to send a message back.  She then extended her fingers on the hand the ring was on and with her other hand she motioned to a knife.  Madison gulped, knowing full well what her sister meant.

They were planning an escape for sometime now, and the events at lunch just made them more aware as to the importance of their situation.  Madison would send telepathic messages to Katie, and she'd just shake or nod her head- the walls had eyes and ears.  Any spoken or written word would be their downfall.  Katie had made the camera in her cell burst so recording couldn't be completed.  They had to act fast, since that would surely sound the alarm.

They met in the recreation yard, Madison able to get away with the pretense of getting sick in the bathroom-the only places in the whole compound that didn't have audio or visual recording.  She had gotten a tape recorder and set it on play, the sounds of vomiting echoing through the cells.  They each had an axe that used by a fireman to cut through burning wood to save people's lives.

Katie held out the hand that had a ring on it and with only a moment of hesitation,  Madison swung the axe and the thing came off.  Katie let out a scream of pain, and Madison held out her own hand, and Katie cut it off as well.  Blood was getting everywhere, so Katie tore her shirt to make temporary bandages for the both of them. 

"I'm going to lift us over the wall" Katie said, the blood loss already getting to her.  She pulled Madison close to her and they lifted up and over, landing on their knees.

"Katie" Madison said "stick to the plan...you go one way and I'll go another..." she helped her older sister up and touched their foreheads together.  WE HAVE TO GET HELP FOR THE OTHERS.  GOOD LUCK, SIS.  LOVE YOU.

"I love you too" Katie kissed Madison's forehead and ran off in one direction.  Madison wasn't worried about Katie at all-she was a tough woman who knew how to use her abilities to protect herself.

Madison went off in the opposite direction, the alarms from the compound could be heard for miles.  She had to slow down, her loss of blood  getting to her.  She was able to make it to New Orleans when she just couldn't keep moving anymore.  She plopped down next to a dumpster in an alley and drifted off to sleep, her mind opening and sending psychic SOS signals in hopes that someone would be able to hear them.

Filming had wrapped up for the day, and they all were dog tired.  Daniel and Douglas were leading the way to the bar that was next door to where they lived for the duration of filming when Daniel felt a tickle in his head.  He ignored it at first, but soon became more invested when the tickle turned into words.

HELP ME.

He looked around confused, Coleson and Iwan giving him funny looks.  "Did you lose somethin'?" Coleson asked.

"I don't think so..." Daniel said, but as he walked nearer to the source he heard the voice in his head louder.

DANGER.  HELP ME.

He turned into the alley and was surprised to see a young woman covered in dirt and leaves slumped against the wall, her hand wrapped up in a bloody bandage. The others followed him and Douglas exclaimed "Bloody Hell!  Is she alive?!"

Daniel reached down and felt a very weak pulse and without hesitation he lifted her up and said "Yeah, but just barely..." the hospital was a five minute walk, but he made it there in less than three minutes, shouting that he needed help for his friend.  A nurse quickly got her into an operating room, while the recording technician talked to Daniel.

"Sir how is this woman related to you?"

"She's not" he answered "I just found her like that" he suddenly had so much nervous energy that he tapped his foot while sitting.

"So you don't even know her name?"

MADISON L/N.  His head twitched.

"Madison L/N" he said confidently, but surprised at himself.

"Right, and how about her medical history?"

He said all the relevant information as you were subconsciously feeding it to him directly in his mind.  When the tech asked about insurance policies for you, you sent a message to her. 

INSURANCE IS NOT NEEDED.

"Insurance is not needed" the tech repeated out loud, and shook her head.  She suddenly felt tired and excused herself to get a cup of coffee.  He was directed to her room and she had been cleaned up and a proper bandage had been applied to her stump.

"Madison" he brushed her hair from her eyes "How do I know so much about you?"  you couldn't even send a telepathic message to him, the drugs the hospital had given you had completely blocked your ability to reach into people's minds had kicked in, sending you into a dreamless sleep.

Over the next few days, he'd called every few hours or so while he was filming to check on her, and was dismayed when the staff had told him she hadn't woken up yet. They had replaced the blood she lost, and her body naturally helped the healing process.  It was the middle of the next week that she finally woke up, the first person she saw was a rather strapping young man with a stubbly beard.  "Madison?" he asked in a thick Australian accent.

"Yeah" she responded and sat up "Who're you?" she was still groggy from the drugs so she couldn't just pull his name from his memory, not that she wanted to do that anyway.  She used her ability sparingly and when she had to.

"I'm Daniel Webber" he said as he sat himself closer to her "I'm an actor from Australia in New Orleans for a film I'm working on" he put a gentle hand on her good one and asked "How do I know so much about you?  I've never even met you before..."

She contemplated telling him the truth, but it sounded so farfetched that she'd probably end up in the psych ward. and the Ghost Division could easily find and recapture her there.  "You wouldn't believe me if I told you" she looked up at him, those big doe eyes catching him off guard and making his heart skip a beat.  In that same moment, it seemed that he had left his body and was in a totally different scene-he was on a beach and a small gathering of his friends and as he turned to face a person coming up to him, he was back in his body at the hospital.

"Daniel?" she asked "Are you okay?" she was shaking him lightly, him being cold to the touch.

He blinked and color came back to his skin "What the fuck was that?"

"What was what?" she asked him confused "You went catatonic for a full minute there!"

"It felt like an out of body experience" his whole body shook, as if his mind was getting re-acclimated to the physical shell.

Her eyes widened as she said "You're a pre-cog..."  a person with the precognition ability was a very rare sight.  A male pre-cog was rarer still.  These were among the beings that people in ancient times thought of as gods.

"A what?" he asked dumbfounded.

"Erm" she started "We can go into that a different time" you looked up into the hallway and saw two guards from the Compound ask the charge nurse something at the desk.  She could tell they were from the Compound by the caged bird tattoos on their hands.  "We gotta get out of here..." she jumped from the bed and looked them right in the eye.

She grabbed Daniel's hand and bolted from the room, the rest of the patients and staff in a panic when the guards drew their weapons and began firing.  She threw him behind a desk for cover as she tried to reach into their minds and have them shoot each other, but the drugs were still in her system.  "What the Hell is happening, Madison?!" he shouted over the bullets hitting the wall behind them.

"I'm a psychic with telepathic abilities that ra.n away from a government facility and these men are here to take me back" she said quickly, he didn't believe her at the time but accepted the explanation for the time being.  Just then, the elevator pinged, and Douglas, Coleson and Iwan stepped out into the hallway.  They had heard Madison had been showing signs of waking up, so they bought her a bouquet of flowers.  They walked right into a war zone and the vase that Iwan was carrying had dropped to the floor, shattering.

They all ducked for cover, they all demanding an explanation.  She rolled her eyes and relayed what she had just said, them not believing her either but accepting it just like Daniel.  The adrenaline had purged the drugs from her body and she sent a message to each guard simultaneously.

SHOOT EACH OTHER.

The gaurds turned and shot each other in the leg.  Madison went over to one of them and asked "Where's my sister?"

He spat in her face and snarled "I'm not talking!"

She sighed and invaded his thoughts.  He gasped as he felt her pull the memory from his mind.  He didn't know where Katie was, she looked over to the other guard and did the same to him-nobody knew where she was.  She were both relieved and concerned.  She couldn't let the higher command know where she was so she completely wiped their minds, leaving them living vegetables.

The four men stared at you in shocked amazement.  "Time to go" she said as she left the battlefield.  "You could stay if you want, but I'm calling deuces" you turned to run, but Daniel grabbed her arm.

"Please don't run off!" the other three looked at him like he had just committed a murder.

"Since they know I'm in the city, they'll keep coming after me, and that puts you and your loved ones in danger" she took her arm back "I am NOT willing to risk innocent lives..."

"Then please stay with-" he was about to say 'me' but quickly changed it to "us".  The others protested that it was dangerous to let such a person like her live with them, her even joining in.  He pleaded "Please..." he felt like he had to protect her.

They all threw up their hands in defeat and she not so graciously accepted his offer.  She would have to stay cooped up in his room with him.  "So I basically traded one prison for another" she pouted, to which his heart skipped another beat.

"Very well" he sighed contentedly "You can sleep in my bed, while I take the floor..."

"We can share the bed" she said "It must be uncomfortable on the floor" Coleson, Iwan and Douglas giggled while seeing Daniel blush.

"It would be ungentlemanly of me to share a bed with a lady that I'm not in a romantic relationship with..."

She didn't want to displace him from his sleeping area but he was insistant so she reluctantly agreed with "So long as you don't try anything funny..."

A few more peaceful weeks passed, without so much as a word from or about Katie, and Madison was getting worried.  One day after filming, Daniel came into his room and she felt a somber air about him.  "You okay?" she asked, gently touching his shoulder.

"Yeah" he gave a sad smile "Just filmed the Skylar bits today..." she had known about the little girl who had died from various publications, and from what Daniel had told her about the actress portraying her she dominated that role.

"I see" she touched her forehead with his and sent a calming message to him.  YOU DID GOOD, SLEEP NOW.  His eyes grew tired and he laid down on the bed.  She turned to sleep on the floor when he objected.

"Come sleep in the bed with me" he asked her "Just until I get a sound sleep going?" he sounded like a frightened child and in some ways he was.  He had had more visions of the future, and she had slowly been teaching him how to make them stop so they wouldn't interrupt anything important.

She awkwardly cuddled into his arm, her stump brushing the skin on his chest. After a moment of silence he sleepily asked "Hey Mads?"

"Yes?" she answered

"Wanna date me?"

She looked at him "Date?  Like romantically?" she had never had such experience with dating or relationships.  She didn't know the first thing about dating.

"Yea you goof" he laughed "I want to take you out sometime.  Can't keep you locked up here like Rapunzel forever" he closed the gap between them and she could smell his cologne- a smokey wood scent.  She loved it.

"Where do you want to take me?" she asked, but he was softly snoring.  She smiled and kissed his cheek "Sweet dreams, Daniel" she settled into the crook of his arm and fell asleep as well.

Over the next few weeks, she had tried to reach out to Katie, but she got no response still.  Her and Daniel were now officially boyfriend/girlfriend and they were taking things slow.  It was on a Tuesday that Katie showed up from out of nowhere.  "Katie!" she flung her arms around her sister and sent WERE YOU ABLE TO FIND HELP?

"No" Katie replied "I tried the local authorities in Baton Rouge, but they thought I was crazy and locked me up in a mental ward.  Some guards from the Compound came and tried to take me back, but they ended up with various sharp objects in their bodies" she smiled at Madison.

Daniel was excited to meet Madison's sister, she had told him so much about her with so much regard.  "Hello!  I'm Daneil, Mads' boyfriend!"

Katie raised an eyebrow at Madison "Boyfriend?  Has he been treating you well?"

"More than well" she answered "he's a pre-cog" Katie stared at him and had so many questions it wasn't even funny.

"So hearing your voice in his head triggered his ability?" she asked.

"Yes" Daniel answered "Madison's been teaching me how to control it.  She has me imagine a lockbox, and if I keep it closed I can't see what the future holds" he squeezed her hand for reassurance, her returning the gesture.

"So you guys were attacked here too?" Katie asked, not being able to resist the chance to hear the story.  After the story was told, Daniel pulled Katie aside and asked.

"Are they going to keep coming after Madison?  And you?"

"Until they have us back" she answered honestly "or we're dead."

He was almost about to cry at that, he took a moment to collect himself and asked "Is there anything I can do to help you two?"

"Since you're a pre-cog, you can stick close to her and can see an attack before it happens" Katie suggested "Your visions are only POSSIBLE outcomes,  they can be changed" he thought a moment and asked a very important question.

"Hey, ask my sister" Katie smiled at him.

Madison came in their bedroom later that evening, rose petals making a path to the bed.  She giggled, her loving that sensation that she never got to experience as a child.  "Daniel?  What is all this?"

"Mads" he gulped, he was nervous and down on one knee "I've loved you since the first time I heard you in my head...and since I know you better I want to keep you safe...will you be my wife?" he showed a silver band with a diamond on it.  She looked at the thing with awe.

"Are you sure?  I've explained that with me around it'll be dangerous..." he stood up and shushed her with a finger. 

"I know what the dangers are" he softly kissed her, his stubble tickling her "I accept them, just as I accept you and your sister.  I want to keep you safe, and if it means that I have to give my own life to save you...so be it..."

Madison was breath taken, only her sister had shown this much concern when they were growing up.  On more than one occasion, Katie had taken punishments at the Compound for the stupid things  she did.  "Yes, Daniel" she finally said "I'll marry you..."

It was a small beach affair, Katie helping Madison into a bridal gown.  The men managed to get some rental tuxes last minute and they had raided the bar of all their booze.  They had "borrowed" a priest to officiate, despite not having filling out the forms needed to make the marriage legal.  Jeff Tremaine had walked Madison down the aisle, while Katie stayed in the back on alert.  Thankfully nothing out of the ordinary happened.

The vows were said, the rings placed on the fingers and the new Mr. and Mrs. Webber were introduced.  The reception almost everyone got hammered, save for the bride and groom.  Even Katie eased up and was using her telekinesis to make people fly.  The newlyweds stayed sober because they wanted to be able to be in control of their love making later.

When they finally had some alone time, he pulled his new wife into the honeymoon suite of the hotel they booked.  He kissed her gently at first, but grew hungrier with his kisses.  He undid the dress in the back and she let it fall to the ground.  She was totally nude in front of him, this being their first time together.  "Fuck..." he sighed, his erection growing at the mere sight of her.

After their love making they were sticky and glistening with sweat.  They both were panting when he asked "What the fuck was that?"

"What?" she groaned into his clavicle, planting a soft kiss on it.

"I've had sex before, great sex but what we just did I've never felt anything like that before.  It was like I was feeling your pleasure as well as my own..."

She giggled "Sorry, that was me.  I can't control my ability when I can't concentrate.  You made me feel so good, that I just let go" he played with her hair out of affection.

"Does that mean its always going to be like that when we make love?" he looked down at her.

"Only if you want me to" she answered.

"If it brings me closer to you, then I want it like that all the time" he cuddled with her "I love you, Madison" and interlocked his fingers with hers.

"I love you too, Daniel" she returned the feeling.

"What about them trying to take you and Katie?" he turned serious.

"Bring 'em on" she said boldly "We can take 'em" with that they turned out the light and slipped into a peaceful sleep.

[ledonggcui]

Poetry Suite A Quartet of Love and Death in the Cloud

Poetry Suite

 A Quartet of Love and Death in the Cloud

 1 Cloud

 Clouds is of solitude that clutters

Around the night of Whole Darkness

Something is revealed a scar in the Fog

Weeping thorns are ambitious

They are transmitted over in the Air

Yellow wailing of peasant women showers purple

On the earth…

Ripples of lights expand

 Solitude is not a lonely piece of Cloud in holes of smiles

Not in my pants

Facial expressions stopped our Love and Pains of Shadow

Often -----------

 It appears to be the sorrow of your Childhood

Flushed and floating over the Lake of Paradise

Bouts of laughs strokes the Body

Now they are gone with the Wind and Cloud

 Sinking underneath…

 Blue rolls over

Lightening strikes by

Sallow

 Physical draught blows towards

- @ eyes

- fair plaits shine through

- pale

you have become

 Beauty in the Castle of Vampires

 Ghosts trains carry the Emptiness into our Platform

That was the twightlights of a Morning

 Don is Goo

 Closer and closer together///

This is Now

Understanding experiences of the Spaces and

Physical magnetic fields of a snail’s pace

Urgent is our Homo Sapien’s certain qualities

Tragedies yell at the yellow killing Moon.

Urgent is the telepathic trio

Shouting and screaming and hollering

Towards the Mountains of Fountain and Pines

Our intimacy spun around an endless black holy

Hole…

Your high heels are blogged

The paradise is occasional

The Tables in the house of No. 8 … …

It meant ------- being disturbed up

Inside out

Inside on

In between…

 In the cherry Blossom

- there was your lust longing

- so

- we split

The birth of Darkness we shared the Same Emotion

Smile of bitterness are the Waves of blood and flesh

The bridges has splint and sprint

Good-bye! Chives have been chopped up

Both of you in triumph and the hands that stroke through

Hills and mountains in glory, which are

Darting up up up

 Resplendence

The morning light is not on the Fence

Though when evening approaches,

K is agitated

The fire is pure until now

Occasional coincidence no more in the Front

Frame is the portraiture in the Paint

Abstracted

 i stomp into the maze of an animal-licking disaster

that is the overall impression

in the dream, desire upsets the satisfaction of a finding that

means losing someone or something or somehow for good

madness has bid us farewells for a while

publishing is recording in the dark

our sight-seeings were simulated vision synchronize

even when we were young

when we ate and shit

 fear needs not attack us, amputate us and ambush us

that is why i am looking forward to the vacuum

limbo of no-time, non-space

there will be no tortures on the other side

though that is only an image of a maze

 i enter your oval and the navel in the morning

a cave that shelter from the shower

the tangible flesh burs-ted into flames

possession is not important here

love is not important here

memory is not important here

trains of abstract thoughts wield themselves onto our vision

that is still abstract in the dim lights

a vision that is a curve becomes the cave

conceives the poetic emotion in motion

harbouring our ambiguous

rendevouz

the morning was grey

 Moments of decaying firefly is over the other side of the

Ocean

At the aft a swift jump is a

Rendevouz means that Nothing’s non-action

Common news together with the Sea Wind blows over

Let’s be romantic! Years toils and peasants coils are buried in the Earth

Only the banal rodents screech occasionally ugly

In a perverse high, there was a longing for the Amour of Vertigo and Delusion

The artificial sun-light is saturated in the Sunset

Smearing the Floats

Then on this side of the Otherness…

Cloud rolls by

   a blind leads a blind: the end of the age of innocence

 approached...

orange haze...in the distance

groan is a daze

yet the dark cloud meshes the pleasure of words

mechanically

monotonously

it is a misread dead misconception

 conceivably, boredom wrinkles

they do not snore

when you listen to the void

glaringly, you are in a trance

are we together?

 matrix array

a maze

you and me are a craze

the significance of the well in the desert of h-division

is nowhere

you turn around and see

nobody

 is it dead out there?

sublime

patterned

underneath the moan of the moon

dots of tinkles sacrifice our pleasure of inferno

with the crater of volcano

your megalithic compound is

squared

  ritual of deities - shaving

 hair grows: the longer, the slower; the shorter, the faster

white noise comes again, a mushroom cloud

let's reason the reasons

when someone is lynched

 hands, thousands of hands shout: ' name Anita Buddha

mantra thinks

image stinks

as future comes as a hole not as a whore

 then slow motion is shot backwards

yes, man and woman have a history of shaving: right NOW

- regenerate and degenerate -

by a sex metaphor

we interpret the same texts

- those talking asses

 bomb catches up with our Brahman

some say woman is cloned from an egg

no, tomb is womb, they reckon

some try to clap their hands with one hand

no reasons, no

but the ritual of shaving in both sexes, the hair

 now is a hole with a whole

intentions segment to five portraits of communist revolution

- splintered shaving heads are somewhere

the talking asses, understand?

 don't you mind that you don't have a mind but hair?

   claustrophobia 2

 god's testicles were slashed and stashed away upstairs

we are packed like sardines into a night

train travels in vain: clicking and clanking to the black and red

utopia

no, a dystopia

three monkeys were conceived in a giant leap

industrial revolution turn us into pollution

people still rant about abortion and castration

 I saw your face and I bump into a grimace

kill that dog.  It will not bark

lock up those monkeys. They will not rebel

in this animal farm, I am dragged behind

the black psychic of a schooner of some queer beer

It make the nation opening up

god is alive

 abattoir

 having acted out to kill a MP

people start to believe a 'bad trip'

constitutional wisdom is equal to black

that is white and that is black

fallen angels are being tempted by underground

propaganda, that is:

100% beef topside mince $4.49 a kilo

chicken wings $4.99 a kilo

lamb legs $4.99 a kilo

BBQ thick sausage $1.99 a kilo

lean round steak $5.99 a kilo

tender bone steak $7.99 a kilo

corned silverside $5.99 a kilo

sirloin steak $5.99 a kilo

rump steak $5.99 a kilo

scotch fillet $9.99 a kilo

 - human intestines stir-fried with a bit of red wind -

I shouted

Intellectuals are flayed

Nine peasants are roasted

As my soul is cheap in Glebe morgue

 2 Wonky

 mattress filth lies a mannequin

wonky laugh is however a phone number

Cadillac turns the other way into heaven/hell;

shoes hanging loose with laces disturbingly fragmented

supermarket shaver kissing a pair of knickers

dream represses a loft; Scared

only too used to be scared the Ugly

mind the deviant Decadence, someone thought

no conflicts, no tragedy

absurd-um and residue of genome ...

1838 J. Hogg wed and shed his romantic crime

'ruse of reason'...

all youngsters suspected and yet looked up to

their god-father

backwards toward the Self

other side is pointed by the lay-out of point-out;

just a pair of Reebok

high-tech is now and nay

simulacrum presents the House of Disturbance and Dis-Esriture

system fails and shut down: still files are in the Network

oblivion + ignorance = wonky

 Square

 skeletons are arranged in a yellow rape seeds field

retch your souls out !

growth and embrace stand still in the centre of a square

subtle reactionaries rush towards/away the deinstitution

 mimic smiles are zipped up on the slits of a bald head

fuck you ! you fucking dentist

as well as the liberty of a tooth

it can not undo the knot of a square abattoir

as crimson creeps in

  Patchy rains drops onto your

Corny lips

She is being panicked

The Trains of Memo-ria has run in the Mountains of

Fragmented Recollections of Hers

Inferiority and suicidal lying-down over the rails for the Trains

It has ascended over some Skills of hers

She has no sensible and sensitive passions

Only beastly-like

Only too soft for being purry cat

The self-doubt on the Podium of Monument is pretty vacant

Between the Red Walls the black remembrance and shade

Uphold themselves

The madness of yours and mine twirls high over the Autumn Leaves

They seem to be decadent and listless

There are diagnostics and symmetry

But sighs of Eminence

The ring bells of the Waif Waist starts to tumble and tinkle…

   Poetic weirdness is stuck into the navel of a half crescent

Pollen blows wild

A cross

Blizzard! Stunned! By your paranoid

Numbed by your endless crimson tails

I am being tickled by your Fat bums

Flicking are you in the Flame

A 3-D picture switch to a 2-dimensional flat tron

Back and forth……

That’s it

The euphoria submerged into the dust storm of

Our desert.

Yet the whirlpool of those spirals regenerate our

Very Mirage

Disturbed is the sound that drills with our twenty-one grams of Hearts

Unbearably light and low………

   In the Dark of the Hearts

 wisteria melts its colour in the snow

avanlanch is not for the maniac

I squint from the dark

I see the rattling plastic bags in the caravan

I am not sure of the Together of your hippodrome

on the other side;

is just a war memorial

a view with

an Attitude

in a radical flight

Wings grow later after the delivery

still fledgling

as that is not a farewell because

we have not met yet.

 rainbow testifies itself in the valley

as night approaches

what we need is a dialogue

under the blue winter sky

BEFORE it get ugly

Just when the cloud draws a sketch of Innocence and Indolence

In the dark of the hearts

  Sick colours are manipulated off a Space

Whiteness stabs into a concept called Love

Violence twists the Flesh of a Child

It swallows the flagrance of the Breast Myth

Milk full-cream stalks our Flirts

 Screams are sick on the Hospital beds

Screech is a dagger

Darting

Through the Room unfettered

 The yellow fluids frightens the Horse tails

Copper’s baton.whistles.pistols

Kiss’s women mop up the Red dreams

 Chaos expands

Ambiguity sink in the sands

Repressing the Hell of flirting

Space

It tells…

    Smoked lives

Nothing new will happen

Some scattered thoughts of the No.! vision from the

Atlantis is 101

Navy man smothers the young kisses of Fear

Over herself,, monitored,, is

Money substitutes of Credits and Debts is

H/er story

A strings of histories attaches to the Kite with

Five wings of rings, which is the Olympia Uprising,

Something is left and someone is reigning

Bland is the streamline of convey belt

Bitter cave of naves

Are shone in a beam

    Speaks aloud spoken

- the endless wait…

with me sitting back of the Hill

protruding into the Blackness of a swan

Estuary ~

The down-trodden and mentally disturbed youth;

Ready for a Ride into the heaven of cells of hundreds of

Years confinement with the Megalithic

Monument in the Memoria of this Lonely Planets of a

Cluster’’’

Anchored for the Karma Tantra Mundra and Yantra

It is telling something somehow in Silence

Decline and reclines of Postures are those Demons’ Dances

 Spelt under the Sky we try to tell a

Story; psychic group are weary of the

Glances of those strangers

It is hard to guess –

All is too quick for a lonely gunman

   The grim cloud destroy the angst-driven alcoholic

Only temporary

Transitory is the soft light mix a Fix of noisy Uneasiness

The hue is an happy face

The saturation is a skirt

Is our future a Dream?

A girl opposite to the Chord is expecting

The prelude which is the Impulse

Suddenly the Bats glide in the Night of Phantom of

Imperfections

I woke up

In fright I saw an Embroidery Silk Shoe

Please do not frown

The guilt has turned into the Water Organic

 Ripples is expanding in Virtuality

In Memoria, your facet is in love with the Distance?

Of a Poetic Decease that is

Vomiting the Sorrow of Longevity

Vomiting the Yesteryear’s Shadow

Plus the menstrual blood and filth

It is not the refusal of Hate

The forms and shapes of cloud on the edge of the Sky and You

Has vapoured a red stain in the Idea

I saw you are stripped naked streaking among the Walker and Talkers

In the marble cold Square

- as Shadows of ghosts are stalking you

- since the Law is slightly different to the Morality

 Then the emotional clashes mutate into the Tumour in the Brains

    The lanterns burst in flames

Up to the starry sky;

Wasted, tasted…

The memories of us, now and then

It’s only 40.41.42 and 43 years

Smothered are your constant stares of Emptiness

Smirks and sleeps of a visionary Image of destitude Mist

Are gone with the Wind

It flies high

As we swam down the tide

As it was drizzling.

    The method of slow discovery

 I did not know why before…

The only bliss

Day in and day out…

Mistresses squeal on the Industrial Debris

The Medieval Myth somewhat has wrecked itself

Into a Rubble

Crumble and tumble so far

Night in and night out

People are gossiping the Bottom Line Murder and its Compulsion…

The Doom has its end

Currently ---

We are against the Waves of Raves of indifference

We are against the meaningless freeze of Existence

We are against ---

Life is but a course of action and no-action and non-action…

They again start to brag about the Ruse of Reason and the cause-and-effect

 Trains hisses and fizzes in the Metalicaland

The invisible melody is triste of Sorrow and Pieta

Standing is the Constructed Pile Driver Machine

In far and wide footling lands in the Nightmares of Drum beats of

Cacophony

Now, the Images of a dark night has set in

Cobalt moonlight chaser the Drizzles of

Universe and the Meditation of Tranquility

 I am longing for…

 But It is only a course of certain kind

A Trip of hearts’ journey!

    The shopping spree is stronger than the Digital Desire

People are shrieking

The pollen floats over the soil of Fences

They have a running nose

The spring’s storm is a telephone buzz vanishing in the

Voltage current of the Trams

They are vocalising

We don’t need anything

As the Cat is tasting the cans from the Supermarket

 The bones downstairs connects with my Hands

There is an Entrance Door of a scene of

Resurrection

That was not a reason

Indulgence is not a justifying season

 Breathing hard…

Puffs of some cuffs

 The finger-nails of Positive and Negative are reduced to

Absurdity

Only the dialectic pierce is tender

Dancing full moon is fictitious seven strings

The chord is wonderful

However, their Fear and Threats, still…

Then we are all posing a gesture of Danger

 Life is sweet who would wish to die?

It is the raindrops hitting the Iceberg of the Antarctica

Smile is doubt

Sometimes they need calamity

Of being Calm

Fearless flames unite our Tenderness

The realistic tradition is no infinity

The transaction monetary is not telling a Story

It is but a course

   The shrunk gum of Teeth shone the Sunny craze

In the telephone rings

Sturdy shade is short

In the Sky of Sorrow

Illustrating our Rings of Survivals

The moustache and goatees don’t intent to argue with

Emptiness and Blankness

We met in between the Paranoid’s Rant, Slap-across-the-Faces and photos

Languages stresses your Rouge’n’Noir

When my field of Hearts is being irrigated

 Fallacy is a Medusa shakily drifting around and around

Our regrets are the early experiences and courses of Production

 3 Rant

 Untitled

A free-verse rant like the freckled digits of yesteryear

 The vials of your jelly, across the deck of the insidious creases

Into the hearts of your ac/dc melody

The position is upset

Down the north by south-west, that is our feet direction

While we are wasted in our heads

In the sky !

The polar magnetics attract each other as if in the

Classroom of experimental in the School

Since the steam engine and electric theories were powered

Propelled and sailed Like the dark varrukers Anarchy

Without tanks, fishes and the bullets I bitten

A belt a pistol and the graveyard’s hierarchy

The skins and records

On the turn-tables spin over since the Summer of a four

Digits

Not because we are born for the Facts of Roots

Something is pretty dry

Something is moistened

Something is deep underground,

  Thick dark hair expose your Hands of Azalea Red

Butterflies flutter the Sweet Life

Only the Past of Mountains hook up the Soul

You said, my stares are a bit sore

Your perfume is smelt like a font of Phantom

Your belongings is smelt  here  and  Now

I said something

You said,,

 Withered sunflowers project over the Earth

Is the mad woman

In elongated limps mermaids by the Sea

Shells breathe

Is proportioned to the Flirt

Rifle points to the Vagina of the Girdle

That is a Desert Scenery

In vague.,

 Woke up in the sirens of ambulance and Lullabies

The chords complete are curvaceous

Re-constructed sounds creates another 17

Discordant notes actions of Thoughts are another Praise Song

Beauty is unified and pulled

Beauty is not important here

    This is the monologue of a clown

Olympic committee is holding a conference in Sydney

Utopia has a Gang of Five and its members

The extreme confession owns a Past

Today the weather is nice, very nice

The forecast does not predict that of tomorrow

The theory is grey; the pure is takes of some film shots

Please drink the running water after you wash your hands

It is difficult to find the Water in the desert

Although the running water is bleached,

We can release ourselves in the W.C. of the cinema

The discourse of the Power represent a few Buddha statues, bodisattvas and Dories

The operas have got its tune and beat; vacant and lonely

Criterion, critic plus the footnote and commentary are superb.

Colourful environment is beneficial to the Personal Hygiene

Times has changed and men and women are equal

Aunt Guo has just opened an Auto repair Shop

The technicians are busy working

I gave the Car to the boss to relax

Step forward a bit…

Many problems can not be solved straight away

Returning to the Grassland is not impossible

Equality is always centred ; central is -

Anyhow this is a simple fact.

  Until now we chatted

There is a polluted river

Talk is cheap

Words’ goal is one.

The beast in the cage tears apart the rod

For the sake of Love and Scold

Where is the Ideal and Passion?

Lets start to mention the Fear

The smashed guitar openly announces in full mouth

This is not an unreplaced melody

Her throat was slit with a steel wire.

Gimme pleasure

  Vanishing faces of red and green

The lies on the Side

Drifting away from the Shore

Of my floating mortal coil

Snoozes in the copulation of Flesh and Death

Being here and now

Redenvouz in the Other Space

I touched your lips

The facial is gone in the Morning

Endless…

Another is the trouble of another

It is just a mistake

Blinking melancholy of Lips

Kissing the stairway to the Vain Hope

My wishes are dirt cheap

   With you, in the Square

 Heat wobbles through your swathe of Memory

Groan,purring and growl smut the Dark

Edge that eats up the 69 poses

Waves no longer imitate the mechanic

Motions

There were no Love lotion in your

Dream

night in, night out...

day by day...

Ambient embraces

Shout us a fairy tale of Floss

The nymphs swim and slither over

my Ocean

 day in, night out...

We are together longing for the throbs of

No-space

Negation of a Non-space

Serpent's colours and shapes

Still

Mark and reveal the Images

Phenomenon, which are

Simple

Heat will be with us tonight

In your square

   A Phantom in the Creek

 Ye! The Phantom  is at the arm's length

In my Spright the elf of Anna coles

Haunts the Bits and Bytes of the I.T.

A superhighway of Desires

Indolence is the 18 years old with a Top Gun

Crashed and smashed into the buffalo

Over the rocks of the Solitude

 Yes! The Phantom is looming in the masquerade

With mercy, melancholy and magarain

A tongue licks fast on the Brim

The cloud of your forlorn eyes

Emotions of a 1967 erotica

Simply twists and turns

Only a U-turn recalls the Pieta, Vanitas and Las Vagas

 Yeah! The Phantom is away on the window of the Desert

Our sorrow casts a shadow of Grimace

Over the Psyche, in the name of the Death, Poesy

Nights vapours the flies that

Sneak into our smell

Indolence is a sad washing machine

  no no no

in the trenches of the gunshot wounds

remembrance is the domestic civil war

the parade of Woman's Red Brigade march into

the catwalks of Light Blue sore

such was the dialogue of Freedom Village

 mayhem it was

 Still reek of the disfigured and burned soldiers

Piled in the Square parade

Flag sings in  the Plastic Flowers of dolls

Still aligned to the Meridian of the Zodiac for sure

Time froze till

A romp with the spectators

Is too much of a goose

Gliding into your Oblivion

 Tragedy it was

 Backward glances+flashbacks+demigod status

approximately equals the Sorrow

Of the Nuclear Mushroom cloud flirting

Yes it is true that love can not be borrowed

 Armour it was !

 no no no

in the trenches of the gunshot wounds

remembrance is the domestic civil war

the parade of Woman's Red Brigade march into

the catwalks of Light Blue sore

such was the dialogue of Freedom Village

 mayhem it was

 Still reek of the disfigured and burned soldiers

Piled in the Square parade

Flag sings in  the Plastic Flowers of dolls

Still aligned to the Meridian of the Zodiac for sure

Time froze till

A romp with the spectators

Is too much of a goose

Gliding into your Oblivion

 Tragedy it was

 Backward glances+flashbacks+demigod status

approximately equals the Sorrow

Of the Nuclear Mushroom cloud flirting

Yes it is true that love can not be borrowed

 Armour it was !

  untitled 171108

 means of engaging with human rights status quo by willingly taking over the

good intentions of neo-liberal state

it has increasingly withdrawn the focus strictly on art's content

to fill the gaps left with reasons why a number of co-ordinated donations

and freedom cultural and its destruction of its collections of

a collective concern

human rights struggles long after its occurence, its maintenance

it has been a collaboration's goal

successes thus depends on a concentrated

respects for different intents

and psyche, immersive drones of two-pieces

themselves, their own benefits

and recordings

the project really took off

what has been documented here is only scrapings

applicable to Spanish Magic and other factors

either in abundance or sadly

it zeros in on the process

not something more Spanish magic

lo-fi duo win over the sinks to heil spirits

and the missing links

rock the horse in 2008

80's might not have stood a chance

only time will tell.

 to discover the tactics is to rediscover 465 of disused railway yards

of darling harbour and the sound of Sounds

unpoliced and unregulated in a way

the textures are shared

neoliberal going there

and traction of each in the glosses

 an incredible band and a lots of bands

  You say, I say

 to pixy

 mermaids swim against

the wind in the sky

along the ocean road of pains

ages of expectation lie by your side

 slithering was your scarlet impressed

writhe-ring flowers had me arrested

waiting is a mind game

my heart sadden timid and tame

 dance dance to the bass beats

our imaginations perform best feats

wicked are those sublime fairies

submarine seewees twist my beings hairy

 wisteria creeps up your heart of walls

wedges squeeze your very angle of falls

my love cream molten away

be a smooth operator, you say

be a smooth operator, I say

  YOU vibrate to the beats of a solo act

my kunadili is risen to the

swirls of an Union

twirls of the Ruptures

surrendering the surrendered

Gaze

 I can feel your Cosmic Dance

Returned to the loop of a Resonance

Rotated to the Total Embrace of Succulence

Yieldingly

Peach-flowers have been

In bloom

In the fields of

Grace

 In the steam there is a tune

A melody swishing in the mountains of Love

Pieta and Melancholy and

Your face

 YOU vibrate to the feats of our Imagination

In this mortal coil

An act without audience

In silence

Heart against heart

Heavy pounding and thudding provoke the Providence

Of a taste

 I can not yell that I LOVE YOU

Because you are so far away in the Gaze

I can not yell that I LOVE YOU dream-lover

Because you are so close in the Glaze

 So its resonated again over again in our Cosmic

Dance of a trance

 4 Seals

 Seals of our six’n’sevens are stamped onto our vulnerable skins

Love is evolving

All we need is evoling Love

Objective in a subjunctive mood

Installed is the Object Love that circulates around

Such are your poses, your stains and pains

The florescent tubes brighten and dim the horns of the

Colourful ghosts runs

Thus, the rashes of our Spectrum rant in the Concrete Boxes

Thus, the innuendo of our Love is rejected, refused and gagged

   Smouldering is our Love

…12,13,14,15…

Smoke is far away

It is destructive no more, you say

Come on

Groan and grunt were 12 years ago

Mystery was coming

Artery I felt and your veins I witnessed

 Smouldering was the Past in present tense

Future is now and

Our futuristic worries smother a Thought

Mother tongue was arbitrary

So a spirit translates itself in the Court of Poetic Justice

After all it wasn’t a crime being a Smooth Co-ordinator

   As we approached the Fed Square not Time Square nor the Red Square,

Fifteen degree

The funny fanny wedges away like the balloons of Orlando

So I looked back and saw a Wolf; Mum is talking again to me

Wicked laughs echoed in a Six_Dimensional Seascape

So I looked back over again

Nothing but a cat was teasing, purring and tantalizing the crowd

And the Rising Cobra

Music was mesmerising around us

They were pretty clicky

Then we tried hard to be nitty-gritty

The moon would not tell us all

Only the toad in the sugar-cane field illuminated

   albatoir

 having acted out to kill a mp

people start to believe a 'bad trip'

constitutional wisdom is equal to black

that is white and that is black

fallen angels are being tempted by underground

propaganda, that is:

100% beef topside mince $4.49 a kilo

chicken wings $4.99 a kilo

lamb legs $4.99 a kilo

BBQ thick sausage $1.99 a kilo

lean round steak $5.99 a kilo

tender bone steak $7.99 a kilo

corned silverside $5.99 a kilo

sirloin steak $5.99 a kilo

rump steak $5.99 a kilo

scotch fillet $9.99 a kilo

 - human intestines stir-fried with a bit of red wine -

I shouted

Intellectuals are flayed

Nine peasants are roasted

As my soul is cheap in Glebe morgue

  Since the trumpets and trombones were blown……

 Feeling are the wings clipped as the sea-gals glide across the Y river

We went up to the balcony of the lounge

Thursday Thursday nights were the darkness of silence

After the underground had the times changed in the wind

In the names of the tainted Love

Uneasiness jumps jams and jinxes at the intersection of

A path:

Our hearts of wails remorse and wrinkles of a hidden Angst

Pumped 70 times per minute

When you rode the pony

When you were young

When we showered off the aftermath of responsibilities well-beings

And crises

 It is called…

It is called…

In the vicinity of our Brittle Dreams which are scaffolding a

Framework of the futuristic noisy tantrum

It was called as

The wind, trumpets and trombones were blown…

  I screamed into the Void

and discovered the Real you

Reflected in the constant reminder of

a longing for the Future

 Your Uranus curve girdles our special dimension

In the Cyberspace without your portraiture of a

Past

Concrete is the music

Yet the trip is beyond our Galaxy

Resonance is the sound without feelings

In the mist of our evening twilight

Here comes the rain again.

Here comes the rain again !

 In the darkness of some aesthetic of Saxophone,

Surfaces of sensualities and shapes of Danger's

Freedom looms around

We will set free again

In the wildness of some kooky memories of Spoken words spoken,

Fog of uncertainties now and then...

Being affected has no reasons at all.

  In our slumbers there once was a story

Not to be told

Your yellow smileys are coming as a grimace of

The pace of walking into the Unknown

A ghostly spectrum of mists in the early evenings

Looming in the Distance

 Smile is your face of Flowers longing for the Radiance

Oh! Something is in the way

Our experimental stares are timid

 Sonnet-Elf

 The dark cloud dissolve some entities of elves

As I fainted over and over on the ground

Why don't we dance to the wild beats ourselves

Because last night I went up there but never found

Your moon-lit face was sunken in the tainted mirth

As I've been waiting for a tantalizing kiss

Yet what I am left is dull and plain piss

Maybe you know too well the ecstasy of pains of birth

As a sprinkle of morning dew will cleanse off painted filth

Since the congealed blood scarlet evokes to my lost mind

- Loneliness of longings and belongs within it dwells

With elf, nymph and pixy flying low

Advertising something special and spectacular for sell

Love's shadow of lust tilts from toe to toe

Ah! the purple haze shrouds your beguiling souls!

[2libras]

NDN Homopoetics

1. I hoard dirt in my ears; months later, I pull out a summer dress. The dress is not a dress to be worn but to be hung, like a flag on a wobbly pole that is noticed only when crowded in the mouths of those near it. The dress is not a dress to be worn but to be hung, like an NDN condemned to death by the judiciary of historical ignorance, an enactment of white fellowship and care. We all bear the dress, not as an article of clothing, but as an ontological imprint. To bear is not to wear, of course. To bear and to birth, however, are from the same neighborhood of experience. It is there, in the neighborhood of experience, that my childhood home is nowhere to be found. And so, my childhood home could be anything, even a dress made out of dirt. 

 2. Boy becomes a 3-D printing of a man. It brings me comfort to think of my gender as a farmer’s field already rototilled, already cleaned up. I become less of who I am by the second. Look at the branches growing from my teeth! Then there’s the mare, tipsy on me, grazing to no end. If I were to speak, I’d sound like a cracked windshield, typo-ridden. These 206 lonely bones have each gained a type of consciousness; they pretend not to harbor hard feelings about me, my ungodly molecularity. What can I say about my shadow? It loves the unlit street more than it does me. Sometimes a body is that which happens to you. Everyday, dime-sized holes proliferate on my flesh, as if I were trying to free myself from myself. I will go on like this forever: with the earth ringing in my chest. 

 3. I am a body of knowledge, not one of chemical compounds. Which is to say that I live as ideas do. This is the fate of NDNs. It is on the rez that one can hear sentences speak as though in a chorus. To tear the page is to tear our world apart. What shame to be a sentence on its knees! The day I obtained my driver’s license, I followed a cumulus cloud through a maze of dirt roads until it evaporated. Forty minutes. That was all it took. I bore witness. It did not ask this of me, but I wanted to keep watch of the dying everywhere, so I could figure out how to care for a bleeding sentence. 

4. What to an NDN is the intrinsic goodness of mankind? Maybe justice is a lover who regurgitates the English language so it comes back sweeter. Canada, why are your elevators filled with mud water? What is it about a palm that makes a country feel like a garden? I dug and dug. I pulled out a bouquet of skyscrapers. I kissed each window softly. Is this not what an NDN does in a poem?

[bomb-cyclone]

NDN homopoetics

Billy-Rae Belcourt, 2019

1.

I hoard dirt in my ears; months later, I pull out a summer dress. The dress is not a dress to be worn but to be hung, like a flag on a wobbly pole that is noticed only when crowded in the mouths of those near it. The dress is not a dress to be worn but to be hung, like an NDN condemned to death by the judiciary of historical ignorance, an enactment of white fellowship and care. We all bear the dress, not as an article of clothing, but as an ontological imprint. To bear is not to wear, of course. To bear and to birth, however, are from the same neighborhood of experience. It is there, in the neighborhood of experience, that my childhood home is nowhere to be found. And so, my childhood home could be anything, even a dress made out of dirt.

2.

Boy becomes a 3-D printing of a man. It brings me comfort to think of my gender as a farmer’s field already rototilled, already cleaned up. I become less of who I am by the second. Look at the branches growing from my teeth! Then there’s the mare, tipsy on me, grazing to no end. If I were to speak, I’d sound like a cracked windshield, typo-ridden. These 206 lonely bones have each gained a type of consciousness; they pretend not to harbor hard feelings about me, my ungodly molecularity. What can I say about my shadow? It loves the unlit street more than it does me. Sometimes a body is that which happens to you. Everyday, dime-sized holes proliferate on my flesh, as if I were trying to free myself from myself. I will go on like this forever: with the earth ringing in my chest.

3.

I am a body of knowledge, not one of chemical compounds. Which is to say that I live as ideas do. This is the fate of NDNs. It is on the rez that one can hear sentences speak as though in a chorus. To tear the page is to tear our world apart. What shame to be a sentence on its knees! The day I obtained my driver’s license, I followed a cumulus cloud through a maze of dirt roads until it evaporated. Forty minutes. That was all it took. I bore witness. It did not ask this of me, but I wanted to keep watch of the dying everywhere, so I could figure out how to care for a bleeding sentence.

4.

What to an NDN is the intrinsic goodness of mankind? Maybe justice is a lover who regurgitates the English language so it comes back sweeter. Canada, why are your elevators filled with mud water? What is it about a palm that makes a country feel like a garden? I dug and dug. I pulled out a bouquet of skyscrapers. I kissed each window softly. Is this not what an NDN does in a poem?