#commander qweef

[lagoona-dogfish]

A Ball Busters Biography. Part 1:

In two of our last few sessions we were coming to the end of a tournament arch and also dealing with some wise guys who thought it would be a good idea to steal the prize money from the WINNERS OF A BATTLE TOURNAMENT. Please note: the point of view might change and also the writing style will also change kinda, like, a lot. Lmao I'm not a writer. Pls god let this post it took so long to write.

So basically this is what happens, it's one of the last match ups with our guy Muk fighting against a gang leader, The Shark. Our new friend Birdperson (yeah that's the actual name their character is going by) sees a shady looking fellow scurry off into the hallways of the arena. Birdperson tracks this guy through a strange portal, passing by some guards who were presumably knocked out by the shady guy. Through the portal into a beach-like plane.

Birdperson can see the shady fellow- later we'll find out he's named The Orca- sniffing around for burried treasure. Literally! This is apparently where the prize money is being hidden. Birdperson tries to fight The Orca, they duke it out, Birdperson barely escapes with their life, but he manages to keep The Orca from stealing the prize by luring him off. By the time Birdperson gets back to the top side of the arena, Muk's match with The Shark is over, Muk basically decimated the guy in one round. Now the only competition left for Muk was a fellow party member. The Ball Busters will be winning no matter how the next match goes.

Anyway, Birdperson then goes to Muk and tells him about this Orca and the prize money. At this point Rat and Frodi are the next in the ring and the rest of the perty isn't around. So together, they head off to catch The Orca and make him talk.

Muk and Birdperson aren't afraid to be seen chasing this guy in the streets and catch him swiftly. They drag him to a warehouse and tie him up, not interrogating too much at the time. For the intentions of this story, this is basically where this session ends. Next session we pick up with a salty Rat and triumphant, but terrified Frodi. Beating Rat in the tournament only means he'll have to face off with Muk, who has so far brutally knocked out every opponent in one round, not even showing mercy to the party's allies. Rat and Frodi don't have time to lament their current losses, though. At this moment Birdperson introduces themselves into the room. Informing the duo of the whole Orca ordeal.

On their way out, they are confronted by The Shark. He's wants the Ball Buster's help in finding his fellow gang member, The Orca. Our troup of adventurers agree to helping The Shark, not letting on that they know he's the one behind their nearly swindled prize. They ask for a token of his and The Orcas comradery to help gain The Orcas trust if they do find him. They then depart with one of two friendship bracelets shared between a shark and an orca, spun together with many homoromantic sentiments. With this bracelet, the Ball Busters are able to convinced The Orca that his very best friend has betrayed him!

Theye learn that the gang leader of the Riggoty Spigots, The Shark has been working together with the Head of the guards, who was previously, disaffectionately dubbed "Commander Qweef" by The Ball Busters. The Ball Busters not only were able to convince The Orca of a betrayal of contract, but a betrayal of the heart as well. Claiming they found the friendship bracelet discarded right before The Sharks bedroom. Rat told a tale of Commander Qweef and The Shark's forbidden love! They must've been planning to cut you out this whole time! Our dear Orca friend may have thought he was in on this treacherous scam, but perhaps they were all tricked today.

There was a proposition. If The Orca assisted in ending Commander Qweefs poot of an existence and moved away to Pearldovia, start his own gang, and become our contact... The ball Busters would let him live and promise to deal with the sorry cheater shark. Luckily, Rat was on a roll. They succeeded in bargaining and The Orca informed the Ball Busters that The Shark, Commander Qweef and him were supposed to reconvene on the roof of the Riggoty Spigots tavern in the lower side of town that night.

Rat and Birdperson went, sneaking through the shadows like the natural creatures of the night they were. They scoped out the spot, seeing that Commander Qweef was standing alone on the roof. Birdperson disguised themself as The Shark and dawned the friendship bracelet. Rat headed inside to distract The (real) Shark while Birdperson went to the roof with Commander Qweef. As he approached the Commander, Birdperson found him peeping at the brothel across the street with a spyglass. Thus began their discussion. Though we know naught of Birdperson's past, that night he was an expert deceiver. Birdperson promised the Commander that they had found the ones responsible for their botched heist earlier in the day and had tied them up in a warehouse, just ready to be tortured by only the best torturer in town, Commander Qweef himself. Commander Qweef was extremely Tantilized by this idea and agreed to head right over, after retrieving his torture kit from home. So that Qweef swept off into the night, followed by a Birdman's shadow.

Now, Under the roof of the Riggoty Spigots tavern and then under the first floor of that. There was Rat, urging The Shark into his office with promise of very important news. Here Rat lied to the fullest extent rat knew. Rat told The Shark about a betrayal... Not only of contract, but BY THE GODS- OF LOVE TOO!

Rat told The Shark almost exactly what was said to The Orca, but switched their places in the story. Saying they had come upon Commander Qweef's house while tracking The Orca and upon entrance they saw the house packed up and left in a hurry.  Only a hastily half burnt pile of papers, journal and a few clothes left behind. With inspection it seemed that the papers were documents and letters readying a secret move to Renu, a far away continent. In the journal a few pages intact, writing of the passionate love between Commander Qweef and The Orca and their plans to leave behind The Sorry Shark and move away to newer opertunities together.

Rat was even impressed with herself that she could break both the hearts of this strange crushing pair. Well, they do say triangles are the strongest shapes. The pointiest too. As Rat was leaving, a gangster walked by. Back into the office of The Shark. Rat almost left right then and there. So confident that her plan had seemed to work, but at the last second she couldn't resist turning back around to listen in. They were talking about Muk and The Orca in the street. They had been seen by civilians after all and The Shark's own gang had been tracking The Orca's kidnapping as well.

Rat had to think quick and quack she thunk. Running herself through the office door in a burst. SHE FORGOT ONE MORE THING- there's something weird happening in town, recently Muk's arch nemesis had come around, looking for trouble there was no doubt about it! And around with Muk's nemesis had come his twin as well. "Be careful.", Rat said "we don't know WHAT they could be planning!".

The Shark was hesitant to believe yet another ridiculous rant, but with a roll so high and undeserved, Rat pulled The Shark's mind back to her side. Then left in a hurry. Dashing back to the warehouse to lie in wait for Commander Qweef. By the time she got back all the Ball Busters had gathered, hiding themselves to attack the Commander. It was hardly a challenge for Birdperson to follow unseen, with the exception of one time he nearly got caught, but he disguised himself again as a drunken old fool. Harmlessly stumbling through the night.

At last, Commander Qweef made his enterance through the warehouse doors. He saw one blue tiefling tied up in a chair. He called out once for whoever else might be there, before five attacks came at him without mercy. "KILL THIS PIG BEFORE HE CAN SQUEAL!". it only took about two rounds, the Ball Busters had roped him to the ground. Before you knew it the Commander Qweef's corpse was shrunken and The Orca was off on the fastest ship to Pearldovia.

The Ball Busters only had one thing left to do. They headed back to Commander Qweef's house and snuck in. They forged a few documents and set them ablaze, they stole most his clothes and all his gold away. It's hardly stealing if he's dead, Or away in Renu, whose to say?

So that's the story of the Ball Busters and their hijinx with the Riggoty Spigots and the Commander of the guard.

[ecurps]

Just one question:

How many businesses have been ruined because of our commander & qweef?

Note: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez graduated Cum Laude from Boston University.