#coming here to rant about stuff i can't find myself to talk about with ppl around me

[kuromi-hoemie]

bleh

[jeonglixie]

.

[vicsy]

are u okay vic? sending love xx

(hateful ppl only have hate in their sad lives and try to bring everyone else down to their depressing level, don’t listen them!!)

frankly, anon? no, i am not.

and if you think about it, it's incredibly stupid to be all torn up because of a fucking sport I watch for general enjoyment but what else is new? i got into f1 when life hit the absolute possible low for me and it helped me immensely through it all, still does, and i found so many friends and wonderful people and i started writing again. it's pure fucking escapism coming back to bite me in the ass.

it hasn't been great to be an f1 fan lately because of events I don't need to be recapping - it's all out there in its disgusting glory, all over social media every single day. we're just being reminded of how rotten the core of this sport is and how high of a role money and power play. it's not new but disappointing nevertheless, considering there isn't much we can do to try and fix that.

but the hate among us, the fans? it's getting out of hand.

i will never go out on my way to police anyone's behaviour (it is never justified) but clearly there is a line between haha jokes and pure fucking malice. there is having genuine, critical conversations you can have (recently had one with my close friend and it was so refreshing to talk instead of secretly talk shit) and using this sport as a yardstick to measure someone's morals. it's been happening more and more, considering recent comments made by drivers in regards to the ongoing case that deals with harassment. that opened a can of worms that made ALL of us unhappy and even more disappointed, in one way of another. there is expressing genuine opinion and then there is being a hater because it's a trend.

are all Charles fans insane? are all Daniel fans delusional misogynists? are all Lando fans insufferable pricks? are all Max fans outright racists? are all Lewis fans stuck up? I could go on and same sentiment goes for each team on the grid. can we rightfully define someone by who they are a fan of? are we all required to make a statement each time a driver says/does something mindnumbingly stupid in order to, god forbid, not get cancelled along with that driver? can we genuinely bring a driver up without shitting on the other or is it not mutually exclusive?

there has been a barrage of hate towards several drivers and i get it, i do, it's sports, we're always gonna get like this. it's the whole spirit of it. i am not saying we can't root for someone and talk shit about the other. but again, i am seeing the waves of hate getting bigger and bolder, assumptions being made on the spot. people openly calling each other stupid over being fans or having a different opinion. in some ways any sense of compassion and critical thinking is dead in a ditch.

it wasn't like this before, if i am honest, but i am also a rather new fan. i am seeing all sorts of stuff on my dash both from people i don't know and from people i do know. it's a knee jerk reaction, to go and judge someone by posts and stuff, i know it but i made myself not do that. but i am just afraid of this ongoing trend of hate. i really am.

it just seems like there is no margin for error. your fave can either be squeaky clean, completely unproblematic, or they should be shot on sight. it doesn't matter if any of us acknowledge it or not. for some reason, it's a "you are what you eat" situation. and i find it rather unfair. you can separate person and a driver. two things can be true at once etc etc. none of it warrants wishing actual harm on other people.

so yeah, sorry for a rant. i'll stop now and, for what it's worth, i have been trying to unlearn the ways of "people pleasing", so here are just my thoughts that i don't think many will agree with but i don't want to bend under whatever popular opinions circulate here (especially by "big blogs"). i'd rather have people talk to me personally and i am always open to having a conversation, making friends and discussing opinions. those at the head of f1 management don't seem to do better but us tearing each other apart can also mean that we aren't doing any better, too. at least i personally think so. don't take my word as a generalized opinion.

thank you for the message, anon, i appreciate it. sorry again to be Like That. big hug!

[summercreolefanfictioner]

so personal rant time haha (grab popcorns)

here’s a thing. like i told my bisexual friend (she’s a biological female, hope i am using the right terms cause if i’m not pls correct me) for countless times to dump her gf bcos:

one, gurl is legit straight (‘cause she always catches her chatting with men, and even her ex-boyfriends, to fulfill her needs and defends it as harmless)

two, gurl keeps friend around bcos she’s convenient (my friend has her own car, own apartment, earns around the 6-digit mark)

and we talked abt it earlier and she goes “but i love her” and “we won’t last this long if she doesn’t love me” like guuuuuurrrrl r u for real????

let me get this straight. there are various reasons a person is dating someone. and trust me, it’s not always about love. some ppl just wanna get ‘some’ and fulfill that emotional hole. some ppl do it just to get over their boredom. some even do it bcos of a bet or bcos the other person is rich. cruel intentions, i know.

besides, the gurl did not explicitly say to my friend that she is bisexual or lesbian. heck, i myself talked to that gurl and she mentioned “your friend gives me what i want and she has a nice car, that’s why i date her” like it was never abt my friend. it’s abt what my friend does and is willing to do for her.

and my other acquaintances know her and said some guy was picking her up from work, buying her lunch for a week now and even booked a car service for her when she signed out late at night from the office (she still defends the guy was just being a nice friend) i know some ppl are gonna come at me and say the guy was just nice but bruh my friend has a car and a high salary. you think she can’t do those for her?! really?!

(cheater mccheater)

lastly, the gurl always tells my friend not to meet her in public (like if this isn't a sign then what is?!)

so yeah i’m not talking to this friend anymore bcos she kept on defending this girl even tho she knows the girl is taking her for granted

ps. the reason I don't like her is bcos my friend told her one time that their initial relationship was like 500 days of summer (cause they were just friends back then but doing dating stuff) and the gurl was like 'i know that movie but i don't like it bcos i can't understand it' I swear from that moment on I just couldn't

EDIT: On another note, like don't date ppl who don't have the same sexual preference as you. I swear it's just gonna break your heart one day if you find out they still go for what their heart and body want and not you. But it's not like you can't fall for these ppl. I mean yeah go ahead but don't expect them to "swing that way" just bcos you do.

[golbrocklovely]

I’m not trying to be rude but I get so sick of hearing Sam talk. Like yes we know life isn’t easy but sir you have two mansions lmao I feel like he gives the same energy as kim k telling people to get off their ass and work. Rich people are so detached from reality and sadly Sam seems to be one of them. Sure he makes some good points here and there but most of the time it’s just a bunch of nonsense bullshit

this might have turned into a bit of rant here but i'm constantly think about this type of stuff anytime sam goes on his spiels lol

i think one of the things i've always hated about celebrities, influencers included, is that they all like to pretend that they just worked hard and that's how they got where they are. and while that's true to some extent, to pretend that luck wasn't also a huge factor pisses me off deeply. to just tell ppl "work hard and you'll go far and succeed" is such a cop out to admitting that hard work can only do so much for you. and if luck isn't on your side, you're not gonna be as successful as you want to be. that's just a fact.

so with sam, and colby too, while they definitely have worked their asses off, i also think a lot of it was also right-place-right-time and luck. and maybe that luck manifested itself into smart business decisions. maybe their luck was being born attractive thus ppl paying attention to them more. maybe it's a whole list of other shit i can't think of. either way, they were lucky. and for both of them to not admit that, or at least not tell ppl that that to some degree that's how they got where they are now, is annoying.

and as for what sam talked about on snapchat….. oh brother lmao

this is gonna be a long winded story, but it goes with what i think about sam. so i went to a liberal arts university. and since i was in the arts side of the school, i knew plenty of philo majors. i also had to take a bunch of philo classes myself (plus my brother was a philo major too) so while i'm not the smartest about all different types of philosophies, i've heard of a lot of them and can understand them decently well. and one of the things i HATED when i was in college was the amount of ppl, literal teenagers/young adults, claiming to know the meaning of life or trying to argue which one was right or not. and i think the reason why i hated it so much is bc i was literally suicidal the last two years of college. and at the time i hated hearing about "oh life is about this and that and this other thing" when life to me has never had meaning. even now, while i'm mentally a lot more healthy than i was back then, life doesn't have meaning. but i don't mean that in a cynical or sad way. i just mean that i don't think there is an answer. you're supposed to exist, and what you make of that existence is your own meaning or reason. i don't think there is one mold that fits everyone. especially when you haven't lived that much life. and on top of all of that, i don't think the meaning to life, if there is one, is easy to find. so a random 20 year old in philly ain't gonna know it lol

most times, it felt like a lot of the ppl that were saying what they thought the meaning of life was, or just generally any philosophy that they were talking about, it sounded to me like they were trying to sound deeper for the sake of looking smarter. they wanted to come across as intelligent so that's why they were saying nonsense.

so, to bring this back to sam, he reminds me of those ppl i went to college with. good ppl, kind ppl, but they were only speaking to sound smart. and personally to me, i would much rather talk about "vapid" things than pretend to talk about something i don't understand fully (or might not even have an opinion on). plus, sam hasn't had a bad life and hasn't had any crazy experiences, at least to my knowledge. and i'm not trying to discredit him just bc he hasn't had any major death or loss in his life, but… when you have experienced hardships, things are put into perspective in a way that ppl who haven't experienced that type of stuff just don't see. i don't wish the life i've lived on anyone bc i've experienced a lot of terrible things. at the same time, i've grown from those experiences and realize what truly matters and what doesn't.

it also helps that i'm extremely introspective, which i kinda think is sam's major issue: he isn't. every book he reads is a how-to book; how to be stoic, how to influence ppl and make friends, how to speed read, ect. i think he's doing everything in his power to find himself in other ppl's work. "oh see, i relate to how stoic ppl act", "i can see myself doing something like that to make friends". he's trying to understand himself thru other ppl's work instead of just looking inward and trying to figure things out. which is why i find it funny he talked about emotions for a while on snapchat bc i was just like "…you are one of the most emotionally constipated ppl i've ever not met. what the fuck do you know about controlling your emotions?" but then it kinda makes sense bc that's all he does is control his emotions. he needs to express them more.

like i'm extremely expressive with mine, and i might react with them a lot, but i don't just blow up at ppl. i think most ppl who are emotional based in their thinking or acting aren't constantly angry or sad. and plus i've gone on this rant before, but those two emotions are always used as the negative emotions when i really wish ppl would realize there is no negative emotions. the only thing that can be perceived as negative is your reaction to your own emotions and what you do with them.

to kinda connect this all together, i think some of this type of stuff is why i always disliked metalife. for the short period of time i was on there, i just… didn't get why ppl were going insane for the shit snc were talking about. like a lot of what they were saying was either really basic or not as deep and profound as others claimed it was. not to mention, even if i wanted to follow with what they were telling me, it's hard to see two privileged white guys who haven't had even an ounce of the struggle i've had tell me life is worth living and all i gotta do is put in the work and i'll succeed.

they don't want to seem like they're above us, but they're trying to tell us this information from the top of their grand staircase in their gated community mansion so…. it's a little hard to listen lol

[thatwasthenightthingschanged]

hello hello friends, I actually wanted to talk abt this in my 2021 recap post but I feel emotionally exhausted today so here's a quick rant for you under the cut (so u can scroll past it) tw mental health issues and stuff 😃

so basically I've spent this entire year feeling like shit and I keep trying to get better but fail and yes I will have regular therapist appointments by end of January/beginning of February but it still feels like this'll take forever to happen and I just basically drag myself through every day looking forward to sleeping only yet I haven't had a good night of sleep in MONTHS and then I also recently told my best friend that a therapist told me I most likely got a mild depression and she was like "as if, has that therapist ever heard of seasonal depression? therapists are weird" and I know that she only said that bc I haven't told her how truly shitty I've been feeling this year and bc I jokingly told her abt it but it sent me spiraling again because I constantly feel as though my mental health struggles are not serious enough because at least I can still "function" normally yet I put on a happy face to everyone bc I feel like I'm not allowed to be sad and burden them with my stuff bc it'd just be like me asking for attention or pity and I don't want that but I genuinely feel down for no real reason several times a week and I've gone back to my self-destructive behavior which I thought I had unlearned for good years ago yet I feel like shit after every social interaction because my mind immediately analyzes all the ways the other person I talked to could find me weird or annoying or exhausting and then I wonder why I ever expect something else from ppl or even romantically for someone to truly love me when I know how shitty I am deep down and how they'd think that too if they really knew me and it's so stupid being with the world's greatest person and watching yourself destroy that relationship bc you are scared and feel sad all the time and cannot put your stupid feelings into words so u just keep silent and things keep pestering and pestering and also family stuff is still. hard. like my mum keeps gifting me Christian books and I know she probably means no harm by that but for me it just reads as "if u just believe in God hard enough you'll turn straight again" AND I WANT TO BELIEVE IN GOD I love church and the youth group I used to go to but I feel like I'm not welcome in any of these spaces and I haven't even told my mum I'm bisexual bc I know she wouldn't get it and I've been fucking keeping my entire relationship a secret in front of nearly everyone for her for nearly two years now and it makes me feel shameful and like I don't deserve to be loved for who I truly am but she keeps finding excuses for me to carry on being secretive about it despite her initially having said to only keep it a secret until mid-January next year and I keep looking for that mum I never had in other ppl but I still love her because I KNOW she's not a shitty person at all she's actually very loving abt everything else but I can't talk to her abt how shitty I feel bc I've tried before and all she does is come at my with homophobic opinions because she never truly listens to what I have to say and I'm just so fucking tired of always having to fake being happy and content for everyone around me just so they are happy and comforted while my mental health goes to shit 😃

[aresrl]

I hihi I am!!! A little nervous w/ doing this bc I've never done this b4 so please bear🐻 w// me💦 May I request a match up? A vision, a romantic partner and maybe a friend and/or enemy? If that's too much feel free to just assign me a vision + partner, ehe/// Preferably male for a romantic match-up, but either gender is fine with a friend and enemy match-up^^ I tried to be as detailed as possible but I think I ended up just ranting, so im v v sorry if it's long! I sort of fluctuate when it comes to being an introvert/extroverted. W// strangers and irl, I'm very introverted and shy!! Rarely speak and if I do it's just the usual "Hi how are you? That's good. I'm good too, thank you for asking:)" yeayea I'm not too. Keen on social interaction irl. But I always do my best to be very nice!! I never wanna come off as mean bc wow what a bad first impression that would be. But with friends / ppl ik online?? Whew I am very very friendly n chatty ^^ Either very high energy or very chill, there's rarely any inbetween. Sometimes I like to jokingly tease my friends but I'd never go too far / make them uncomfortable!! And if I do I always apologize right away!! I like to say that I'm affectionate?? My strongest love language is def physical affection, if not quality time. Idk man there's just something about vibing with someone or hugging them that just aaaaa/// Although I usually display affection w// words of affection bc. Literally most of my friends are online friends so I can't actually hug them, sad times. Idk if this is needed/important info but I just remembered: I'm 5'6 around??? Need glasses bc. Whew i am blind (near sighted), I'm poc (specifically black) anndd, hm. Actually I think thats it for this section, aha. As you can see I'm, not really all that organized. Also I don't have the best attention span - while writing this I'm circling between 4 different apps - and I'm a bit of a mess. And also a little stupid. Just a smidge dumb. But I have my moments - I solved like. 2 puzzles in Inazuma by myself so I think that counts for something. I also find that I tend to talk a whole lot when I have an idea or smthn to say abt a thing I'm super interested in!! That's info-dumping. I info dump. Yes. I also really like to listen to other people talk abt things they like!!!! Its so nice :) I'm protective over people I care about!! I've never done it but 100% would bark at someone who messed with someone close to be. Arf arf yaknow. I tend to he impulsive. I'll do something, and be all "YEAH>:D" and then regret it later. And then I'll do it all over again in a fun little cycle :) I consider myself an optimist, but quickly turn into a pessimist whenever it concerns myself. Fun funfun. Should probably mention that I am. A very insecure person w/ dangerously low self esteem, which is super fun esp when you mix that with the fact that I'm rarely ever motivated to improve. Yayayay Also sort of a pushover?? Like most often than not I'll be convinced to do something, even if I'm not too keen on doing it. Also afraid of confrontation when it comes to my friends and strangers (that is, if it's concerning me!! I'll order smthn for my friend but if I need to order for myself?? uhh stutter time aha). I'm also a mega simp ahah! Srsly though if I fall for someone/get infatuated with someone I. Will be so obvious abt it even though I try very hard not to be. Would gush over that person probably. I don't really like mean people tbh. Like yes I'll be nice and civil with them but!!! I cannot stand!!! Rude people!!! Esp when they're mean for no reason like sir??? maam??? homie??? chill pls ty<3 People who aren't necessarily mean, but moreso have bastard energy and are just really "hehe>:D" but playfully are p poggers tho!!! I think I get along with kids!! I have a little sister,, around like. Nine? And we get along really well!! I also try and match a kid's energy whenever I'm tasked with looking after them. I take pride in the fact that kids like me >:].... even if they sometimes scare me-- Ok, interest time!!

I like art!! Quite a bit!! Less of a realistic artist and more of a cartoonist!! Idk there's just something fun abt drawing cartoons, hehe. I also like self ships - I have quite a bit of them, actually ! Idk its comforting drawings your fictional crushes loving you idkidk. I like writing too! Both original stories, and one-shots or personal fics that are associated with already created media!! Writing character backstories and personalities and stuff is also fun too! I've even made my own fictional world with a full fledged backstory n everything! It's very fun to think about. I'm a day dreamer!!! Yea remember when I said I write stories? I day dream abt potential stories even more. Mmm daydream world so nice so warm so fun I read aswell!! Mostly fantasy books, or stories where animals are the protagonists. Think Warrior Cats. But my favorite book series has got to be Guardians of Ga'Hoole. Fantasy owl books, anyway! X Readers are also things I enjoy reading :) Again, s I m p Also gaming!!! Is something fun I do sometimes!!! Although it's usually Genshin Impact, or Wii Sports/Resort w// my little sister. Oh, also pokemon! I rlly like Primarina, Vaporeon, Sylveon and Vulpix/Ninetails! I absolutely adore sweet foods, and baking is smthn I'm def interested in! Don't like foods w// weird textures though, like beans or mashed potatoes. Also I. Love spice so much. Mmm love it when my mouth burns so bad. Don't have a favorite animal but I've had three cats in my lifetime (btw not important but my current cat is named Sylvester and. He's my baby boy) so I am. A very big cat fan. Probably not needed but I really like sword and claymore characters. Literally all of the characters I main are either sword or claymore users. Although I did get Diona, so I miiight start forcing myself to learn how to aimmm. I see that I tend to like people/characters that are a little more extroverted than me. Upbeat, happy type beat!!! Nice sunshine babies, :) I think thats it! I hope this was good enough? Again, first time doing this (at 2am nonetheless) so forgive me if I got too rambly or did anything wrong ^^ Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this! And I hope your day is good / you had a good day, depending on when you read this, ehe!

Hey! Sorry if the wait has been long! I also love Warrior Cats (I promise myself, one day I'll finish it.)

You received... A Pyro vision! Optimistic, enthusiastic, impulsive, reckless, and a lot of energy are the general characteristics held by the Pyro vision. • I hesitated between the Pyro and Hydro vision, but your energy distinguishes you from the Hydro vision. • You said you were impulsive, always doing something you might regret later but still doing it. • You react quickly: as you said, if somebody hurt someone you love, you won't think twice before barking. Your partner would be... Xingqiu! “This feeling was unexpected.” • At first, you were just friends, and Xingqiu really loved to tease you. Actually, you both teased each other. But eventually, a feeling of love towards you grew into Xingqiu. And that was reciprocated. • Your relationship is filled with teases, jokes, and good/funny moments where you mostly share what you commonly appreciate. • He also knows when to get serious: for example, he does everything to support you during your moments of struggle concerning your self-esteem. Your friend would be... Childe! “Luckily, I'm here!” • You two also share funny moments, especially during situations where your “stupidity” is overtaken by his insight. • Sometimes, he finds you cute. • He likes the fact that you get along well with kids. It leads you to great moments with him and his siblings. • You're quite the opposite in terms of self-esteem. I think it's a good thing because it makes you complementary. Your enemy would be... Albedo! A misunderstanding. • You wouldn't hate each other, but I think Albedo wouldn't like the way you use your energy, and when you're more in a chill mood (meaning you're more available for him to talk), he could get pissed at how much times he'd have to repeat himself for you to understand something. • He's very patient, but he understood quickly that his interests would maybe not be within your reach. • You would just be too different. Worth to mention • You and Venti are like drama queens in Mondstadt. You are good friends. But you both know that you can't be more, as it would eventually both drag you down (because of similar problems). • Klee is also your best friend: both of you share decisions that you definitely will regret later. Or maybe not. • Hu tao and you are kinds of silently competing over who's the best tease, and she beats you. My goal is definitely not achieved. I hope I can catch up tomorrow. And don't worry, it was surprisingly good for a first description!

[yikesharringrove]

anxiety projecting anon here, but i related to ur response so much, and really appreciate u answering because having anxiety means i deal with a lot of lonliness, because it's just something most people can't emphasise with because they haven't experienced it themselves :") Especially forcing urself to do things others just consider trivial, but to u it's just so Impossible and ppl don't get it- (1/2)

(2/2) what especially got me was steve trying to get himself to admit to billy he doesn't want cuddles, like it's so HARD for me to admit i don't actually liek somehting, because not pleasing other people, or doing what they want, makes me so anxious, and it's something i personally related to with my bf, like him wanting to comfort me and be there for me, i'm just. not able to accept it, because i feel so bad about accepting help :"")) i just Really love your writing

-

It’s like, there are things I want to say, but I physically Can’t. I’m not huge on touching, and sometimes it feels REAL BAD, and so I had to force myself to talk through it with my friends and now they all ask if I would like a hug before giving it to me and it’s just really nice. In high school, I had a few friends that I told I didn’t like touching, and they would like, tease me by poking me and stuff, and it just fucked with me for a while.

And especially when it comes to touching and hugging, things you’re “supposed to” want and that are “supposed to” be comforting, and sometimes that can make it worse and it’s hard that people can sometimes take it personally. My sister is clingy and will like, lay on me when she wants and gets mad when i get angry and push her off after repeatedly asking her to get off. It feels like a respect thing and it jsut kind of trained me that people are going to either not respect that boundary, or going to get mad at me for setting it, so I just won’t.

I also find myself in the “but they have it worse” hole a lot. Where obviously, this person is experiencing something worse than I am, so I need to shove my own discoforts and feelings down to be there for them.

But I totally feel everything you’re saying. Most of the friendships I had here I ruined because I thought that people found me annoying, so I wouldn’t message back, and it’s really hard for me to reach out in the first place because I assume that nobody actually likes me.

And then I feel like a whiney little bitch and it’s a really cute cycle.

Sorry to like, rant all over you. It’s just not something I talk about a lot.