#comically evil kristoph is also funny to me but

[charleemoon]

thinking about kristoph and klavier. it's just the two of them. just a boy and his sweet little brother. no apparent family, origins, place to go, anywhere to belong.

thinking about kristoph developing the idea at a young age that his brother depends on him. no parents to take care of them, most likely they pass away in one way or another. and his brother is innocently young, too young. so kristoph becomes a parent, on top of a sibling. he is the only front, the only defense between his brother and whatever cruel world betrayed them. kristoph can't falter, can't disappoint, can never be unsure. for his brother, he learns to be cold. steadfast, and strong. unbreakable. to be a foundation for a boy to rely on.

he tells himself klavier depends on him to survive. to succeed, to make something of himself, all of it falls on kristoph's shoulders. and control becomes a theme of his life. it's his responsibility to make sure klavier lives his life right, well. and the pressure of that seeps out through judgement.

he tells himself klavier depends on him, so he can ignore the fact he depends on klavier too. he can't feel any sort of weakness. so he judges klavier, when he pursues music. he's critical of him, detached. seemingly uncaring. he protects klavier, and he punishes him when he endangers that concept of protection. he keeps him in line, because only kristoph knows what best for klavier.

klavier, for kristoph, is always that innocent, sniveling child. who doesn't know better, who needs to be guided. because at the worst of it all, it was kristoph and his little brother. no one would know him better. and he would do anything to protect him

and that control becomes obsessive. kristoph needs to control everything in his life. his work, his image, his protégé, and always his brother. he spites things that escape his grasp. he spites klavier when he leaves to tour his music, because he can't admit he needs him too. at the end, klavier will return to him, eventually. because klavier needs kristoph gavin to survive.

he forges evidence, to protect the success and image of his career. even for a case against his own brother, he cheats. because it's not about what's right. it's not about anything but control, for kristoph. because there's no way he could be anything less than perfect. kristoph can't falter, can't be weak, or the world will eat you alive. and when zak gramarye veers out of his grasp, over something he can't control, the nature of who he is, he spites him too, and the man he chose. he forces his way into the case to make sure he can enact control, to protect his view of the world, and of himself.

and klavier, of course, comes back to him. believes in him, follows his word, even with doubt in his heart, a doubt that haunts him for years to come. he destroys phoenix's career, has his brother back, and protects himself from facing a truth he can't handle. he wins.

and it's not enough. he plots out the murders of his forgers, stalks every involved person of interest on the case, and plants himself right by the biggest threat: an unpredictable, awfully lucky man. someone who never did anything to him personally, but whose mere nature is contradiction to the ideals kristoph has pledged himself to. he does this because he isn't confident, perfectly conniving and infallible. for the first time in a long time, kristoph feels control slip out of his fingers and it terrifies him. he obsessively intangles himself with the case for seven years, watching, waiting, for loose ends to be cut.

this need is so intense that when he passes by zak, his first instinct is to murder him in cold blood. for no reason other than he is a threat to the stringing web of sanity kristoph is holding himself by. if he were more clever, more careful, he might've stayed, listened in, found out zak had no intention to do anything but give one last thing to his daughter, before he disappeared again. none of that mattered. because kristoph panics, at the idea that someone, anyone could do something to destroy his image, his life, his control. he's paranoid, and as thorough as he's been, he's sloppy.

and as he thought, phoenix is his perfect downfall. kristoph seemingly loses everything, he's found guilty of murder. his protégé, who he raised up strictly and intensely to follow in his steps, accepts this and is the falling blade to his final bow. but he doesn't snap. he doesn't break his illusion, his facade of poise and composure.

because he still has klavier. klavier, who returns to law after years to meet the man who sent his brother to prison. klavier, who believes his brother is innocent. klavier, who still depends on him. once again, it's kristoph and his little brother. he's already done the unspeakable to protect their lives, to sustain all he's built for him.

klavier visits him in prison, feeds him information, holds faith that he is good, even after he is betrayed by his closest friend. even as things lead to an awful conclusion klavier denied for too long. and when everything plays out the way it does, kristoph at the stand, he still sees klavier the same. he speaks for him, calls him incapable, believes he doesn't know better. because klavier will always come back to him. klavier needs him to survive, to be succeed in life, klavier depends on him.

until he doesn't. the one thing kristoph has always had control over, the reason he needed to be in control of it all, leaves him too. through his never ending desperation, he has become unforgivable. he threatens klavier, demeans him, humiliates him, but none of it works. everything is, as he says, spinning out of his control. he has nothing left, but the ego he's created for himself.

the jury system is the final blow. the idea that no matter what he could do to ensure his victory, the neverending upkeep of his perfect, unfaltering persona, he was at the whim of someone else. his control, completely stripped away from him. because without that, what is he?

when phoenix asks him why he killed zak gramarye, five black psyche locks appear, chains barred and tight. he claims he is simply an evil, cold-blooder murderer. a simple, unsatisfying thing. it's snide, and spiteful, and it's a lie. kristoph's secret, held so close to his heart that he doesnt even know he's keeping it. why did you kill a man, after seven years, when he had done nothing but hurt your pride?

he needs control. somewhere deep down, there's still that teenager, panicked and unsure, staring down at his brother with pleading eyes, deciding that he needs to become inviolable. like the law, absolute and unwavering. and in that he became unreachable. he emotionally neglected and abused the only family he had left, and told himself it was for his sake. he's insecure, entitled, angry; he's vengeful, petty, neurotic. so caught up in the fantasy he created to eliminate what was weak in him, he saw weakness in everything, in everyone.

to admit that would be suicide. it would be a complete mind shatter. he laughs hysterically out of the courtroom, out of acceptance for what he's lost or denial of everything he is, he breaks in one way or another. the places he was led to by love, by responbility, a bloodied bottle in his grip, poison on lips, standing alone at the end of it all.

to shield himself from cruelty, he became cruel himself. kristoph loved his brother, and that too, became a weakness to snuff out.

that is. if. they had actual backstories to explain why they are the way they are. foams at the mouth and collapses

[howlidae]

ugh your write afterlife agency au makes me so insane and you've only made one post about it. i can 100% see kris fucking with phoenix and apollo from the afterlife. Also just like, wow he's dead now is a great time to work through your issue while haunted your worst frenemy? seven year long worst situationship? also i think the kris and mia duo just sounds really funny holy shit

HEHE TYSM!!! ive had that comic in my files for a couple o weeks but only just posted now though i’m planning to make more content. and yeah, 100%, kristoph is probably the most likely ghost to try and fuck with the WAA. he has definitely tripped apollo once or twice, put salt in phoenix’s coffee, and locked the door on them when they’re trying to leave and/or get in

idk if i mentioned in my post but mia is Resident Fuck You Ghost, the one who torments evil spirits (culprits, like dahlia and mvk) so she is definitely not letting kristoph die peacefully. she jumpscares him, reminds him that he lost the game he’d created, tells him about all of apollo and klavier’s successes even when he tries to cover his ears and LALALA her away - there’s not much she can do physically, but she is his personal hell without any effort because he’s a bigger pissbaby than dahlia LMAO

tysm for the interest!!! :D

[plounce]

KLAVIER!

Sexuality Headcanon: bisexual man! though he does tend to prefer men, but that’s more in his private life.

Gender Headcanon: nonbinary :) i think in my idealized future he comes out publicly as nonbinary after testing the waters with loved ones (who obviously accept him and encourage him). so there’s this he/they

A ship I have with said character: KLAPOLLO......... god i just. they’re so much. i’ll try not to get too in-depth. they’re foils, they work together so well, apollo SAVES HIM... apollo is the ONLY PERSON klavier trusts. also he just says the most outrageously gay shit to him constantly. i cannot believe capcom threw them away. disgosteng.

A BROTP I have with said character: i think once klavier settles down a bit from the chaos of aa4 and concentrates on his legal career without worrying so much about his Public Image, he and ema’s bickering could develop into mlm/wlw friendly antagonism. i think it is so funny when she basically calls him a fairy in court. they also get along better when apollo’s there as well.

ALSO: trucy is the darling sister-in-law he deserves after spending his whole life with the worst brother ever :) ALSO ALSO: comics of him having emotional conversations about his trauma at blackquill and blackquill clumsily trying to comfort him are so charming to me. who made you cry. i will kill them. they’re not super close but they have a weird little friendship and i think that’s fun. prosecutor’s office shenanigans please

A NOTP I have with said character: besides evil shit........... kl*ma. i hate it so god damn much. it is not slap slap kiss he’s just being a Man and ema is a competent lesbian. it simply sucks. heterophobetron activate

A random headcanon: oh god i have so many.......... i don’t think he’s a natural blonde. people who think he’s white are intentionally blind (look at him! he is brown! so is kristoph!). i think he grew up in germany but moved the US when he was 9 after the gavin parents died and kristoph, his closest living adult relative, practiced law in california, so he got packed up and moved and that fucked him up for a good while. his natural way of speaking english is with a smooth american accent but he puts on the german affectation intentionally. his brain still mostly thinks in german.

General Opinion over said character: klavier is the reason for my recent aa spiral. i think he is the most interesting prosecutor, and the way that he breaks the mold is so cool - i wish his cooperative and friendly relationship with apollo had been allowed to continue in aa5, but nooooo they just wrote him so shallowly... he is one of the smartest and most disrespected characters in the franchise. klavier co-counsel when.

[theonceoverthinker]

OUAT 3X10 - The New Neverland

Ooh! A new episode of Once Upon a Time! I can’t wait to see what Emma, Regina, Snow, and their other com-PAN-ions are up to today!

...You laughed. You can admit it.

...Review’s under the cut. You know what to do!

Press Release

The residents of Storybrooke are overjoyed upon the return of Henry and our heroes from Neverland. But unbeknownst to them, a plan is secretly being put into place by a well-hidden Pan that will shake up the very lives of the townspeople. Meanwhile, in the Fairy Tale Land that was, Snow White and Prince Charming’s honeymoon turns out to be anything but romantic when they go in search of a mythical being that could stop Regina cold in her tracks.

Main Thoughts - Characters/Stories/Themes and Their Effectiveness

Past

Okay, so to start off, this flashback is admittedly a little pointless. Other than the theme of moments -- something so loose, it could’ve just been discussed in the present and the episode would’ve been fine as just a present events compilation -- there’s nothing that this story does to enhance the main one.

That having been said, I think it’s great! While something meatier could’ve gone here, I can’t honestly object that much when a story is just good. And the conflict between Snow and David is really solid. It’s one of those times where it doesn’t feel fully weighted in one direction. Like, we’re supposed to be on David’s side by the end of it, but Snow’s POV is completely understandable, especially after everything she’s been through (Not to mention, her confidence boost from “Lost Girl”). I like the idea of Snow being so caught up in he worries over Regina that she almost destroys her chance at happiness.

THAT having been said, I found the scene where Snow and Charming discuss turning Regina to stone to be so annoying. Charming references the flashback in “The Cricket Game,” a flashback that I LOATHE because of how much of a waste of time it is and how much of an idiot it makes Snow. And it gets worse. David says that they shouldn’t turn Regina to stone because Snow stayed her execution during that flashback when the resolution of that flashback was that Snow regretted that decision. Like, without this scene, the flashback would’ve not only been completely serviceable, but actually better for its absence!

Present

The opening of the present is just so amazingly shot. There’s this unequivocally happy tone from our mains and side characters that’s so satisfying, that for a moment, even knowing what was going on with Henry, I actually got swept up in it. It’s purely fantastic framing because you know this is exactly what they were going for.

And it kind of carries through throughout the rest of the episode. It feels like an epilogue at times, discussing resolution-y subjects like who (if anyone) will Emma end up with, establishing more of a co-parent-y relationship between Emma and Regina, curing David of his ails, having Rumple consider his future, and allowing for the minor characters to achieve their happy endings. Honestly, only when we cut to Henry do we get remember that the story is continuing, and I like it. It’s a subtle build of tension and will show just how much Pan’s curse will fuck everyone over in the next episode.

I also really liked the Emma and Regina conflict in this episode. It feels like the natural continuation of everything they’ve had to work through over the past two and a half seasons and was smartly placed just after the baby Henry flashbacks.

All Encompassing

This whole episode is the most lowkey David centric ever. Like, he’s in a supporting role, but it’s like the main supporting role. He gives out advice, he interacts with so many characters, and it’s just great! David’s character never needed to be a major major character and I feel like this episode captured the best of him.

“Moments” is the key theme of the episode. It’s interesting that the idea of moments plays more of a part in the flashback to our next episode, but I do like how the concept is introduced and implemented here. While the concept didn’t warrant an entire flashback, the idea of life having good and bad moments that just need to be felt and enjoyed when they can was a good basis for a Snow and Charming story with a good follow-through in the present with Emma. There’s a good contrast between those who can celebrate moments and someone who might not have that luxuary.

Insights - Stream of Consciousness

-The town celebration is really a thing of beauty (And kind of tragedy given that Henry’s not Henry...those Grumpy and Granny hugs are either sad as hell for that reason or funny as fuck because Pan is hugging all of these strangers and is probably realizing that his life just became a fantastical episode of Full House).

-You can tell how Jared loved every fucking second of being Pan! XD The dude lives for evil Henry!

-”That’s the last time I don’t listen to you.” ...When you can see the future, there’s irony fucking EVERYWHERE!

-You know, I just realized that Neal and Belle never had a proper introduction. For one thing, why is Belle not saying “Oh my fuck! You’re alive!” (That’s totally how she’d say it too XD ). For another, I’d have loved to see a proper introduction between the two of them. I need more Neal :( .

-Also would’ve liked the moment where Rumple ditches the cane to get a bit more umph to it. Like, that cane has been as much a part of him as the red cap is to Mario and it’s such a symbol of his cowardice that it would’ve been better to see it go.

-*Looks at a dude in a red beanie* The fuck you do to Smee, you little bitch?

-Okay, that Darling hug was fucking beautiful!

-Also, Snow giving Regina that level of cred was just beautiful! I found it to be a really good follow up to both what she saw in “Save Henry” and Regina’s harsh, but effective actions in “Nasty Habits.”

-Thoughts on how the reception went after Regina invaded the wedding? I’d like to think Snow and Charming played it cool and confident for the guests, but, like we’re seeing, were reeling on the inside.

-”Steal her magic.” Well, in one realm, you actually DO that! The results were...mixed, to say the least. BUT we got Alice, the best person ever out of the deal so it was ultimately worth it.

-So I have to wonder: If Regina hadn’t made these threats, would Snow have still wanted to go to the Summer Palace? Like, it seems to connect really well to her parents, so i could totally see Snow doing that.

-Damn. Grumpy is just the ultimate support. He’s on better terms with Charming, but is still 1000% loyal to Snow.

-Plenty of cell space?! Storybrooke needs an equivalent to juvie! Like, Felix is a villain for sure, but he’s a kid! Jail -- which in Storybrooke is basically full-on solitary confinement -- seems a little excessive.

-”As long as I’m alive, that boy will never see the light of day.” ...Yeah. About that…

-”Her name is Tinker Bell.” I actually fucking clapped. Yes, Queen! Slay and filet that shady shimmering shithead for what she did to Tink!

-”You don’t believe in yourself anymore.” FUCK YOU, BLUE. Look, I’ve said in past reviews that Blue’s not as much shady as she is the world’s strictest and assholey beauraucrat, but being that kind of person WILL merit a level of scorn. Look at that almost half smile on her face. Keegan plays that well. “How can I believe in you if you can’t even do that?” FUCK YOU!

-”I need a drink.” You and me both! Shame I can’t get a drink at 8am!

-I love that emphasis David puts on the word “threat” in the woods. He’s nagging it up!

-You know, Pan kind of got the ball rolling on Emma and Regina’s active non-animosity filled co-parenting.Give the dude a little credit.

-How is Pan so unimpressed by Henry’s room? Like, that’s a nice room! With all sorts of tech and comics and stuff! Be a little more impressed, you little shit!

-”I’ll protect you. No matter what.” And the award for the most adorable non-Regal Believer Regal Believer moment goes to… *cries*

-Prince Charming, everyone, number one causes of deforestation in the Enchanted Forest. XD

-”Are you sure you want to condemn Regina to a fate like that?” Dude, she killed Snow’s dad (Who to be fair, was pretty much shit, but you guys didn’t know it at the time), indirectly killed your mom, tried to kill you, poisoned Snow, AND ruined your wedding! I love Regina and I’m so happy she got redeemed, but at the time of this episode, being turned to stone was rather warranted.

-”Killing her wasn’t the answer.” And then she decided at the end of that episode that it was!

-”Last time, she threatened us.” No she didn’t. She regretted not causing MORE death!

-SHEEP BROS!

-Snow, David. Did you really schedule your lunch to coincide with Emma and Neal’s date? That was...bad planning. Like, you don’t even do that with Killian!

-”Does he eat with his mouth open?” Either Charming has misophonia or that was a Kristoph reference!

-Killian...I’m honestly not sure what to make with that Tink scene. On one hand, I see it as Killian trying in vain to get over Emma, but being unable to, showing that he really does love her. BUT it also comes off as a “you still have a ways to go” moment because Killian’s flirting can be a little...really off putting. I don’t know exactly what to make of that because the framing is a little wonky there.

-”Perhaps.” That having been said, the misunderstanding at Granny’s with Emma, Tink, and Killian had me laughing out loud. That one’s better at insinuating “you fucking dork.”

-YES, SHADOW! GIVE THAT BLUE BITCH A SCARE! KILLING HER MIGHT BE A TOUCH EXCESSIVE, BUT IT’S STILL PRETTY FUN TO WATCH!

-Also, this park is just beautiful. I really wish we spent more time in later seasons at these parks. Like, they’re such pretty places to have scenes instead of the pretty generic looking woods that we got in the later seasons.

-Evil Jared Gilmore cracks me the fuck up!

-Not gonna lie, a dungeon crawl like this would make for the best honeymoon ever!

-”Promise you won’t touch anything?” “Promise.” LIAR!

-”Rumple.” I love how Belle just nagged him. It’s a very Belle-like way of encouraging him to do good without making a whole speech of things.

-Okay, so even the “Entering Storybrooke” sign makes me whimper like a little bitch, too!

-Ooh! I love that Golden Swan moment! Rumple and Emma’s dynamic isn’t shown a lot, but when it is, it’s really something special. While not enough to earn it the “Favorite Dynamic” of the episode, it is incredibly cool to see Emma and Rumple come to that moment of begrudging respect and trust at the town line.

-Holy crap! The rest of the cast pulled off “Penry’s” escape from Pandora’s Box so well. Everyone immediately grows tense and grabs their loved ones. They’re actually scared shitless, a testament to how terrifying pan is.

-Damn, in hindsight, this is dark as hell. Emma has a gun to Henry’s head, and even though he’s in another body, this is a kid!

-Awww! I love Henry hugging Snow and David! We don’t always get a ton of moments of them together, so this was really special!

-I actually needed a solid minute to recover from the way that “Han” just smoothly magicked Regina. Like, that was so freakin’ fluid! “I know. That’s why this was so easy.” Pan, you bastard!

-These hugs with Henry in Pan’s body crack me up for some reason.

-I’m not sure if Storybrooke being the New Neverland is an upgrade or a downgrade. On one hand, you get all of the modern tech and indoor plumbing. On the other hand, no pixie dust and the suburbs are boring.

Arcs - How Are These Storylines Progressing?

The Mission to Save Henry - I love how in so many ways, this feels like an epilogue and then is like FUCK NO. So much comes together and it feels like everything’s winding down, but the action continues in such a fun whirlwind of a way! This whole arc has been a roller coaster and a fun one at that!

Rumple’s Redemption - “On the house.” How much you want to bet Rumple was DYING inside as he said that? “I’m sure if I ever needed a favor, you’d be more than receptive.” Rumple, my boy. You’ve come quite far, but you still have so far to go! But seriously, you do see more of how Rumple’s come into his own redemption. First, his focus is squarely on making Belle happy. Second, he does actually show that he has trust in Emma by allowing her to see what’s up with Pan.

Regina’s Redemption - We get two really great steps in showing how far Regina’s come. First, she stands up for Tinkerbell against Blue. While Regina’s had no problem standing up to Blue in the past, it’s always been for her own sake. This time, she’s standing up for Tink’s sake! The second instance is her grief that Pan fooled her. I say this because it’s so clear how at this point, she genuinely wants Henry to be with her because it’s his choice and how saddened she was by the fact that when her dream came true, it was only a lie. I love Regal Believer and seeing how much Regina’s broken that chain of abuse is something so special.

Favorite Dynamic

Emma and David. There were a lot of great dynamics on display in this episode, but I love how we got our first real David and Emma moment. Daddy Charming is one of the lesser explicitly shown dynamics on the show, but interactions like these show just how powerful it is. There’s an adorably bit of father/daughter banter between them when talking about their love life, David gives Emma solid honest-to-goodness advice that actually does come back later on in the episode, and he’s so comforting. He knows Emma’s dealt with so much and he just wants her to be happy. The scene they share provides a nice calm before the storm and shows that while Emma and David didn’t have that friendship that Emma and Snow had, they do have that strong bond.

Writer

This is Andrew Chambliss’ first solo episode! And honestly, not a bad job! Andrew did a great job balancing screen time between the eight mains and roughly eight minor characters in half an episode’s worth of time, and that’s honestly impressive! The stories themselves are relatively simpler, with the present storyline using resolution as a cleverly deceptive way of making it seem more sprawling than it is.

Rating

10/10. This is an honestly great episode. While not perfect, it provides for a lot of nice moments between characters, an underlying tenseness that is well delivered on when it’s ready for shit to get real, and a more unified Storybrooke.

Flip My Ship - The Home of All Things “Shippy Goodness”

Ariel/Eric - These two are so fucking lovey dovey and their reunion is just the cutest sweetest thing ever!

Rumbelle - Like, from the second -- the SECOND -- these two see each other when Rumple gets off the ship, that’s all the other sees. They’re laser-glued to the other. And the hug is just so perf! Also, THE UP PARALLELS STARTED HERE WITH THE FUCKING TIE! I KNOW IT’S NOT THE SAME KIND OF TIE, BUT FUCK! THAT’S AMAZING! XD Also also, the scene at the shop as a whole is just so romantic. There’s a beautiful theme to it and Robert Fucking Carlyle owns my soul. Every line is just so pretty, and I say that both as a testament to the writing and Robert himself. And Emiliee is no slouch either! She’s so in love and there’s an utter sincerity to it.

Captain Swan - Killian’s decision to back off was just the sweetest. It genuinely shows how he cares for Henry and Emma and doesn’t want to pressure either of them. It doesn’t mean he won’t pursue her if she goes after him, but he wants to let the chips fall, even if they aren’t in his favor. That’s just...honestly, I love it. Killian, your looks aren’t the only devilishly handsome part of you. <3 Also, I like how Emma remarks that Killian is still an option. When David’s trying to convince her to go out with Neal, she points out that he’s trying to keep her away from Killian.

Swan Fire - Snow is just the biggest Swan Fire shipper and it’s pretty cute! Also, Neal’s way of asking Emma out was equally adorable! It takes a degree of pressure off of her and is asked in such a cute way! It’s got a nice youthfulness to it! Also, let’s talk about how sad Neal is when it looks like Emma won’t show. Also also, Emma later implies that her date with Neal would be “enjoying herself.”

Snowing - David loves the fuck out of Snow and that makes me feel all of the things! He wants to enjoy his marriage to her and wants her to be able to relax and enjoy it with him! BUT he also knows her so freakin’ well. He KNOWS when she sneaks off and is just there waiting for her (In one of the show’s most underrated funny moments). And he’s totally willing to give up his honeymoon to follow her into danger! Prince Charming, everyone! And to some extent, Snow KNEW he was gonna do that because she brought the sword. Also, the couple banter in this episode is just so en pointe! I especially love David’s speech to Snow about how he knew what he was getting into when they fell in love. And the kisses and inevitable sex at the end is just the best! And in the present, that BIG DAMN KISS once he’s cured! It’s so beautiful!

-----

Thank you all for reading and to the fab folks at @watchingfairytales!

Next time, we’re coming home! <3

Season 3 Total (96/220)

Writer’s Scores: Adam and Eddy (19/60) Kalinda Vazquez (17/40) Andrew Chambliss (27/50) Jane Espenson (10/30) David Goodman (20/40) Robert Hull (20/40) Christine Boylan (20/20)* Daniel Thomsen (20/30)

* Indicates that their work for the season is complete

Operation Rewatch Archives