#come hell or helwater au

[imagineclaireandjamie]

Can you please add to the come Hell or Helwater story? I would be eternally grateful. Also do you post any where but here? Like A03 or something?

Come Hell or Helwater - Part Nineteen

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven, Part Twelve, Part Thirteen, Part Fourteen, Part Fifteen, Part Sixteen, Part Seventeen, Part Eighteen

And here’s where you can find it on AO3.

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Something was going on. Brianna wasn’t sure what, but there was something strange going on between her mother and Jamie. Whatever it was, they didn’t want her to know about it. Every time she walked into the room, they turned all their attention on her. It was overwhelming and she didn’t like it. She’d rather they told her what was going on. If it didn’t stop soon, if they didn’t say something… she would. 

Isobel and Lord and Lady Dunsany had returned a few days after her mother. Brianna’s lessons with Isobel had resumed but neither of them were as interested as they had been. Isobel was excited about her sister’s condition and would be going back and forth between the two houses a great deal in the coming months. 

“It’s a comfort to her to have me there,” Isobel explained as she struggled to show Brianna how to do decorative needlework. She was embroidering a cap for her sister’s baby. 

Brianna was supposed to be putting a monogram onto a handkerchief for her father, but she couldn’t tell Isobel that the initials were wrong. She just worked quietly on the A and M, figuring someday she could add a J to the beginning and an I and E at the end. It wouldn’t be centered properly in the corner but at least it would properly be his. 

“It’s important that she rest and not be upset by anything – it’s bad for the baby,” Isobel explained. 

“And when you’re not there, is she upset?” Brianna asked. 

“It isn’t polite to gossip about such things,” Isobel replied, more with resignation than an aim to scold Brianna for her question. “But she is certainly more inclined to find things upsetting when there’s no one around who can help her with running the household.”

“And you miss your sister too, I suppose.” 

“Of course. We were close when we were younger. Our brother was older and we both looked up to him – Geneva especially. I… I remember his death more than him, really. It brought us closer, I suppose,” Isobel confessed. 

“What’s it like?” Brianna asked, suddenly curious. “Having a sister?”

Isobel’s eyes widened with surprise but then she folded her hands into her lap, needle and thread carefully held between the forefinger and thumb of her right hand, the delicate, unfinished cap clutched in her left hand. 

“Well… She liked to be in charge when we played, but I didn’t mind. I think she’s always been more fanciful so her games were more enjoyable than anything I ever thought of. There were times when we would quarrel, but I don’t know as I’ve heard of any siblings who don’t disagree from time to time,” Isobel confided with a warm smile. “It was harder for her, being older, I think. She had to do everything first when it came to being about in society when we visited London. She’s also prettier so more has been expected of her in other ways. Her marriage has been a successful one… in some ways more than others. I do think we enjoy one another’s company better now and I am excited to become an aunt,” Isobel said with a grin, her attention returning to the baby’s cap in her hands. 

Brianna gave her a polite smile, pondering the relationship Isobel described. 

She’d had some friends in Boston, but no one she was particularly close to. Even if she had wanted to have friends over to her house, many of their parents weren’t keen to let their daughters visit the Randall household. Despite the fact that Frank was a respectable professor, Claire not only worked, she had a man’s profession. They didn’t want their children getting ideas. Of course, it could only do Brianna good to see the example set in their own households, so she was always welcome there (but once her mother discovered what was behind their hospitality, she preferred to have Brianna either join Frank at the university or do her homework in her own office at the hospital). 

Some of those sort-of friends had siblings, though. Angela’s older sister sometimes let them play with her makeup but she also yelled at them when they accidentally spilled her favorite nail polish on her desk. Barbara’s older brother mostly just ignored them whenever Brianna happened to see him and Barbara didn’t seem to mind too much. Doris had a younger sister who had just been starting school and she complained about how all her old things were being passed down – things Barbara still considered hers. 

They’d stayed at Lallybroch for a few days before setting out for Helwater. It hadn’t been much time for Brianna to get to know her cousins (and it had been a little overwhelming because there were so many of them), but maybe she would come to see them like siblings… if they ever got back to Lallybroch. 

“And what about you?” Isobel asked Brianna gently. “Do you think you would find the prospect of a younger brother or sister exciting?”

Brianna looked up at Isobel, confused. How had the older girl guessed what she’d been thinking about?

“I… guess,” Brianna replied. “I know I wanted one when I was littler but after a while of wanting one and not getting one, I guess I stopped hoping for one.” 

“Mmmhmm…” Isobel nodded, her eyes darting back and forth from her needlework to Brianna, something playful in her gaze and at the edges of her mouth.

“What?”

“Nothing. I suppose… I wished for a younger sister sometimes when Geneva was being unkind to me. I told myself I would only treat my younger sister with kindness. While I may not have gotten a younger sister in the way I’d hoped, the girl I imagined she would be was a lot like you – in behavior more than appearance,” she added with a quiet laugh.

“That’s kind of you to say,” Brianna responded flatly, still confused by Isobel’s behavior. She looked to the clock on the mantel. It was a little earlier than they usually quit for the day but Brianna had had enough of Isobel’s riddles. “I should go back and help Mama,” she said, carefully putting her work away. “She hasn’t been feeling well lately.”

“I heard,” Isobel said, laying her own work aside and rising to follow Brianna to the door. “Send her my best wishes that she’ll soon feel better. Encourage her to rest and take care of her if she’ll let you.”

“I will,” Brianna promised but there was something in the way Isobel said it, in the way that she smiled that left Brianna turning their conversation over and over in her mind as she made her way back to their cottage. 

When Brianna arrived, her mother was standing at her work table but she wasn’t working. She had one hand braced on the table, the other at the small of her back rubbing circles into it. 

“Are you okay, Mama?” Brianna asked, closing the door quietly behind her.

“I thought you were supposed to be having your sewing lesson with Lady Isobel,” Claire remarked, straightening at the table and reaching for some dried herbs to add to her mortar for grinding. 

“I told her I needed to come back early to help you,” she said, moving to a spot on the other side of the table. 

“Very well. Here,” Claire slid the mortar across to Brianna and then handed her the pestle. “Grind those and then add them–” 

“I know, Mama. I’ve helped you make this balm before,” Brianna assured her with an annoyed laugh.

Claire laughed quietly, moving to prepare the beeswax for melting. She paused at the end of the table, leaning into it again and running a hand over herself, first down her front and then to that spot at the small of her back for a moment. With a small nod to herself, she resumed her task. 

Brianna had noticed and again asked, “Are you okay, Mama?” Seeing her mother sigh, seeing her prepare to lie or only tell half the truth, Brianna set the pestle aside with more force than she intended, and asked with more force, “Are you sick? Is that why you and Da have been acting strange?”

“I’m not sick, sweetheart,” Claire assured her. “I’m… I’m going to have a baby. I wasn’t sure for a while and there’s still a lot that can go wrong,” she babbled, “but no, I’m not sick.”

“Oh,” Brianna said, picking the pestle back up and grinding the herbs, simply for something to do with her hands. “Are you… happy about it?”

Claire looked at Brianna for a moment, a smile slowly breaking across her face. “I am. But I’m also terrified. The last time I did this was a looooong time ago.” 

Brianna laughed. “I’m not that old.”

“No, but you’re not my little baby anymore either,” Claire lamented. 

“You’re still scared even though this time you have me and Da?” 

“Last time… I didn’t have much left to lose if things went wrong,” Claire answered, quietly. “This time…”

“You’ll be fine, Mama. Da and I will make sure of it,” Brianna promised.

“That’s exactly what your father keeps saying.”

“Two against one,” Brianna said with a shrug. “You should listen to us.”

Claire chuckled. “I suppose I should.”

“Can I tell Lady Isobel? She’s making a cap for Lady Geneva’s baby. Maybe she can show me how to make one for this baby.”

“That would be nice… And what about you? I know it’s a surprise but, are you happy about it? You won’t be close enough in age to be playmates…”

“I don’t know. It’s strange to think of having a baby here,” she remarked, looking around their small cottage. “But I guess it’s kind of like everything else. It’s strange at first, but then you get used to it and have a hard time imagining any other way. I still miss… I was gonna say ‘home’ but this is home now. Where we were before feels more and more like a dream.”

“Hmmm. It does. Not a bad dream or a good dream… just a little… not real.”

“But I always have you to help me remember it,” Brianna said.

“And I have you,” Claire agreed. “And that is something that will always be just ours.”

Brianna smiled, liking the thought of having something that she alone shared with her mother.

[drunklander]

To follow up on the anon I got, here’s an embarrassingly short list of what I’ve read and then what I keep meaning to read. (And seriously, I know there are more writers out there, so if there’s anything I should read that isn’t on this list, please let me know!)

Massive shout out to @thelallybrochlibrary for making it easy to find the links to the fics I’ve been meaning to check out!

Have Read

This is Us -- @abbydebeaupreposts

The Song of Wandering Frasers -- @abreathofsnowandashes

Flood My Mornings -- @bonnie-wee-swordsman

The Last All Clear -- @bonnie-wee-swordsman

A Hundred Lesser Faces -- @bonnie-wee-swordsman

Broken Crown -- @kalendraashtar

Need to Read

On Deadline -- @convivialcamera

Out of Time -- @futurelounging

We Save Ourselves -- @futurelounging

Modern Glasgow AU -- @gotham-ruaidh

Uitlander -- @gotham-ruaidh

Shifted -- @gotham-ruaidh

Vietnam AU -- @gotham-ruaidh

Scotia -- @kalendraashtar

Scalpel & Needle -- @kalendraashtar

I Don’t Even Know Your Name -- @kkruml

The Foreigner’s Secret -- @kkruml

Faith Restored -- @lenny9987

Mac Ruaidh -- @lenny9987

Written in the Stones -- @lenny9987

Come Hell or Helwater -- @lenny9987

Loss -- @missclairebelle

As Yet Unread -- @mybeautifuldecay

Clair(e)voyance -- @notevenjokingfic

Closing Time -- @smoakingwaffles

The Lallybroch Job -- @suhailauniverse

An Interruption in the First Law of Thermodynamics -- @whiskynottea

[zenlesszonezero]

As the conspiracy reaches its finale, the Void Hunter joins the fight.

Uncover the Conspiracy in Zenless Zone Zero's All-New Version "A Storm of Falling Stars", S-Rank Agent Hoshimi Miyabi is here! With S-Rank Agent Asaba Harumasa Limited-Time Giveaway! Pre-register to obtain additional rewards.

[thesketchingwitch]

10 questions

So I was tagged by @awesomeeyeroll to answer her questions so here goes

1. If you could change any adaptation choice from the first two series of OL what would you change? (If you haven’t read the books just what would you have liked to seen omitted or done differently) Now that is a corker of a question - Im torn, tbh -  I would have loved for us to see the healing pool scene at the end of S1, because, a) it would have been amazing and b) it would have prevented the mess up of timeline/Jamie's healing which ended up spoiling over into S2, and causing all sorts of additional problems.  I'm also still terribly sore over the not-carving of initials in the finale because these scars resonate again and again through the later books! ( and don't get me started on the lack of dedication inside C’s ring, for same reason, and because it makes me RAGEY)  But if I was going to have to pick one thing, it's the Laoghaire denouement - the fact that Jamie knows it was she who betrayed Claire in S1 - and that half assed apology/forgiveness thing in S2 ain’t cutting it -  Because the REPERCUSSIONS are huge - I just don't know how they are going to sell the marriage to me, how they are going to sell Jamie ACCEPTING marriage to his wife's betrayer.... so yeah, it’s going to be interesting ! 

2. Colum or Dougal? Colum. I admire his intelligence, and his incredible fortitude in regards to his illness. And he can also admit when he's wrong.

3. Who is your favourite secondary character from S1&2 and why? Mrs Fitz. I adore her - she is a legend, ( as is Annette Badland, who I hopefully will get to meet this weekend at the convention, to give her the print of my drawing of Mrs Fitz) and I wish there was some way of bringing her back into S3. ( I don't count (show)Murtagh  as a secondary character, whom I also adore )

4. Do you belong to any other fandoms and if so, which ones? No, no others (though I know far too much about Dr Who, but that’s cos of my hubby’s obsession)

5. Which new character are you most looking forward to seeing in season 3 and why? Oh, hell, people are going to hate me for this, but, sod it, it's my choice, and it is William. *prepares for eggs to be thrown* I love the interaction Jamie has with his son at Helwater, limited though it is - it's incredibly touching and it just amplifies the angst really because the reader (and hopefully the viewer) will see what an amazing father Jamie would have been, both to William and to Bree if he had only had the chance. And the existence of William also further deepens the already incredibly complicated relationship Jamie has with Lord John ( who obviously we met in S2, so I couldn’t choose him, though I am very excited to see David Berry’s interpretation)

  6. If you could see any outlander AU fanfic (inc canon divergences)made into a TV show which would you chose? Oh, what?!!!???!!! How could I decide between so many AMAZING AUs  - aaaaahhhh. No. Don't make me. I can't.  *stamps foot*

7. Can you recommend a fan artist that you love? Wow, there are so many.  So I'm going to have to cheat. Weeeeelll, Im going to have to recommend all my fellow mods over at @picturethefrasers. Cos we are all quite different in style and I love that. If I had to pick another artist who works wonders with pencils, it would be @mybeautifuldecay, or if I were to choose for digital art, which is completely beyond my competency level,  I would have to say @art-by-khuggs - the saturation of colour she gets in her pictures is astounding, and is something which I just envy big time, and lastly, because I just adore her style, girlfrog.

8. What did you have for breakfast? Toast, made from wheat and rye bread,  spread with my homemade blackberry jam! Delicious.

9. Mary Poppins or Annie?  Gotta go with Mary.

10. Tea or coffee.  Tea, always tea. Have barely had a cup of coffee since I was pregnant with my almost 14 year old.

Now I know I’m meant to come up with 10 different questions, but that ain't happening - my brain is fried this evening, so I’m going to tag @marshmallow0810, @kalendraashtar, @bonnie-wee-swordsman, @gotham-ruaidh, @madam-outlander, @abbydebeaupreposts, @owlish-peacock36, @thatwetwomaybeoneagain and @takemeawaytocamelot and see how you all do answering the questions above!  

[imagineclaireandjamie]

Come Hell or Helwater - Part Eighteen

Claire comes back to the past with Brianna and arrives at Helwater looking for Jamie—but must confront the Dunsanys first.

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven, Part Twelve, Part Thirteen, Part Fourteen, Part Fifteen, Part Sixteen, Part Seventeen

******************************************

The messenger escorted Claire to Lord Ellesmere’s estate. Though she told herself it didn’t matter because she was menopausal, not pregnant, Claire insisted they ride at a reasonable pace – Lady Geneva was going to be with child for a long while yet, so they needn’t risk their own lives by riding recklessly. The messenger seemed more than fine with taking his time, having ridden back and forth twice now in the span of less than three days. 

Their arrival at the estate showed that, indeed, there was no need for haste on their part. The servants at the door hadn’t even been warned to expect them, causing several minutes of confusion upon their appearance. It wasn’t until Lord Dunsany heard the commotion and came to see what was the matter that Claire was ushered inside and herded toward Lady Geneva’s rooms upstairs. 

“May I be shown to my room first?” Claire asked, wiping at her sleeves to show the dust from the road still clinging to her. 

“Of course,” the excited grandfather-to-be said with a shake of the head. “You’re right. You need a few minutes to rest and make yourself presentable. I’ll let my wife and daughters know you’ve arrived. I’m sure Geneva will see to it that you’re provided anything you need – supper, perhaps, when you’ve finished with her.”

“Yes, just some tea and bread should be fine. Traveling like that leaves me more tired than hungry,” she told him with a polite smile. Truth be told, the riding had left her a bit nauseated but that might be nerves and the deep yearning for hopeful signs to counter the practical voice in her head. 

Lord Dunsany nodded and approached a servant who led Claire up to a guest room – not one for important guests or personal friends, but not a room that might be relegated to mere servants either. Claire was just glad to have the quiet and privacy of a shut door while she removed her dusty outer  layer of clothing and lay down for a few minutes, flat on her back and breathing deeply. She felt her nerves settle, her muscles relax, and her head clear.

At last, she sat up and moved to the small table where a basin and pitcher sat waiting. The water sloshed into the basin and Claire resisted the urge to plunge her face into it. Instead, she leaned into years of habit and training. 

She started by splashing water on her face and patting it dry. The raw feeling from riding in the sun with the fine grit of the road’s dust clinging to her sweat gradually faded, the water soothing and calming. She pulled the pins from her hair, then, and used her fingers to comb through it as best she could – she’d forgotten to grab her brush – taking time to massage her scalp in the process. It would have been easier with a mirror, but she had mastered the art of putting her hair up without one years before (was there a woman alive who hadn’t?), even if she knew it wouldn’t be perfect. She just needed it out of her face. Lastly, she washed her hands, moving her sleeves out of the way to get as close to her elbows as possible. There wasn’t soap to be seen but then, she wasn’t about to perform surgery – it was the routine of it that she truly needed. 

Once again she felt the self-command of a physician ready to examine a patient. 

A waiting servant led Claire to the private sitting room adjoining Geneva’s bedroom. The entire Dunsany family was there though Lord Ellesmere appeared to be absent. Upon Claire’s arrival, Lord Dunsany excused himself as well leaving the ladies alone. 

“Mother, why don’t you and Isobel head to your rooms to rest before dinner,” Geneva said gently. “I’m sure Mrs. Mackenzie will be through with me in plenty of time.”

“Of course, darling. I’ll verify everything with your staff as well. No need for you to strain yourself unduly.” 

Claire caught the sisters exchanging an amused smile behind their mother’s back as Geneva followed them to the door to secure it behind them. 

“It will be easier to examine you properly in the bedroom,” Claire advised. “You’ll need to undress a little and lie on your back so you’ll be more comfortable on the bed.”

“I ought to change for dinner anyhow,” Geneva agreed, her air cool and authoritative even as she readily complied. 

It was only when Geneva’s hand dropped to her belly that Claire could make out the subtle strain at the front of the young woman’s dress. Geneva dismissed her maid as well, telling her that Claire would assist her as far as undressing was necessary. 

“Go make sure the lace on the sleeve of my blue dress is mended. I gave it you yesterday and it ought to be done before Lord and Lady Dunsany depart at week’s end,” Geneva told the meek girl, a hint of scolding in her voice. 

Once they were alone, Geneva stood with her arms lifted at her sides so Claire could untie and remove whatever she would need in order to perform her examination. While Claire could have done without the attitude from Geneva, the proximity did make her more comfortable raising certain delicate issues.

“You found a way to convince your husband the child is his,” she stated, waiting to see whether Geneva would confirm, let alone elaborate.

“In the end it wasn’t necessary. The maids eventually noticed my condition and began gossiping about it themselves. I told Isobel and she thought it would be best to tell our parents in person. She assumed my husband already knew but it was more effective to tell him with them present,” Geneva explained, relishing her newfound sense of security. “He couldn’t exactly make a scene in front of them. Though, he did get himself rather riled up by the time he came to see me in the evening. If he were a younger man I might have worried he’d grow violent but even in my condition I could easily elude him. Then it was just a matter of letting him wear himself out. When he had said his piece, I reminded him that any denunciation of me would require he acknowledge how he could be sure he wasn’t the father – that he would have to admit to being incapable of fathering a child. I told him that we had both been deceived in our expectations upon entering the marriage – he that I would have been untouched, and I that he would be able to fulfill the obligations of a husband in the marriage bed. I told him he could make a fuss about it or accept that he would at last have an heir. I told him that, what’s more, if he insisted on making a fuss, it wouldn’t be difficult for me to explain away his insulting confusion as a symptom of his age – the servants are constantly gossiping about issues with his memory.”

“Lie down please,” Claire instructed, having helped Geneva out of her layers till she stood in just her shift. 

The growing swell of her belly was more easily visible without her stays. She pressed a hand to it, distracted for a moment from reciting her triumph over her husband.

“Feeling the baby move?” Claire asked. 

Geneva nodded, a smile of quiet amazement on her face. “I always feel it more when those are removed.” 

“They don’t just hinder your ability to move,” Claire pointed out. “They limit the baby’s movements as well. You’ll need to wear them looser for your comfort and the baby’s. Now tell me, how have you been feeling?”

“I’ve not been ill for a while if that’s what you’re asking,” Geneva said as she finally lay down on the bed. “Mostly I’ve been tired. Having Isobel around has helped… I’ve told her everything. It’s been better since then, and since others have learned of the baby.”

“It helps when you don’t have to keep things to yourself,” Claire agreed. “When you have someone you can talk to and don’t have to hide.” She gently felt Geneva’s abdomen then looked around for a piece of paper and rolled it into a cone as best she could to listen for a heartbeat. 

“Is everything well?”

“We already know exactly how far along you are,” Claire reminded the nervous young mother quietly. “And everything appears to be on schedule. You’re going to grow increasingly uncomfortable in the coming weeks. You should be sure to rest regularly. You’ve likely guessed but no more riding or activity that’s too strenuous. However, you should try to go for walks and get a little exercise. I’ll write up some suggestions for your diet to keep both you and baby healthy.”

“And you’ll come when it’s time…” Geneva’s statement fell just short of sounding like the command she appeared to be aiming for. She couldn’t hide the anxiety in her eyes as she met Claire’s eye. 

Pity and the impulse to mother overtook Claire. She nodded. “I think your mother and sister should come to stay with you a fortnight before you’re due and I should be able to come the week itself in case you should go into labor early. It’s your first, though, so barring any complications, you may find your little one reluctant to leave.” Claire moved to the desk to write out her recommendations and calculate an approximate due date for Geneva. 

“Thank you,” Geneva said quietly as she raised herself from the bed and fiddled with the sleeves of her silk shift. “You may stay the week, if you like. My parents and Isobel leave Friday to return home. There is enough room in their carriage for a fourth. It would be more comfortable than riding so far.”

“Thank you, but I will leave sometime tomorrow. I don’t wish to be away from my husband and daughter for so long,” Claire replied. 

“Of course. You can send the maid in on your way out. Tell her I’m ready to dress for dinner.”

[imagineclaireandjamie]

Come Hell or Helwater - Part Seventeen

Claire comes back to the past with Brianna and arrives at Helwater looking for Jamie—but must confront the Dunsanys first.

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven, Part Twelve, Part Thirteen, Part Fourteen, Part Fifteen, Part Sixteen

**************************************

It was a Sunday and Jamie was able to return to the cottage after feeding the horses and letting them into the pasture. Lord and Lady Dunsany had gone to visit their daughter for a few days and would be bringing Isobel back with them but in their absence, the staff of the estate were able to relax and take some time for themselves – to actually rest on the day of rest. 

Claire and Brianna had still been in bed when he left and he thought – hoped – it might still be the case when he returned. 

Brianna was still asleep. She rolled toward the door as he quietly opened it but her eyes remained firmly shut. He crouched beside her to straighten her blankets, smiling as he watched her sigh and settle into a deeper, less restless sleep again. 

On his way into the bedroom he shared with Claire, he grabbed some bread on the sideboard to tide him over until they decided to get up for a proper breakfast. 

But Claire was already awake. She was still in her shift but had retrieved the microscope from the main room and had set it up on her small side table next to the window. The sun was bright but it wouldn’t be long before it shifted and no longer streamed directly into the room (it was the only window where it came in so directly). 

“I hope you’re not eating any of my attempts at penicillin,” she told him, causing him to choke and examine the bread more closely. The noise made her laugh and turn toward him, a smile lighting her face. “As long as you fetched it from the sideboard and not the windowsill, it’ll be fine.”

“Even did I eat it, would the penicillin not be good for my health?” he asked quietly before offering the last piece to her. 

“The penicillin might but if you ate one of my growing cultures and set me back in my attempts to find it…” she threatened but with a teasing tone as she reached out and took a small piece from the larger bit of bread he’d offered. 

“Is it yer penicillin ye’re lookin’ for now?” he nodded at the microscope. 

“Uh… no. I’m examining a… different kind of sample.” Her cheeks flushed and she moved to remove the slide, reaching for a cloth to wipe it clean. 

“Can I no see what it is ye’re examining? More paramecium?” he guessed, tugging the cloth out of her reach. 

She sighed and rolled her eyes. “I’m worried that showing you more microscopic life will upset you,” she explained. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you hesitating every time you’ve lifted a cup the last few days.”

“Aye, it can be… unsettling,” he conceded. “But I think I understand better why it is ye’re always followin’ yer curiosity – even when ye maybe shouldna. And Bree’s the same way. Now though… knowing there’s somethin’ there, whether I look or no… Better to see it wi’ my own eyes and know how they look. Like when ye’re huntin’ on yer own and ye hear a noise. The hair rises on yer arms and the back of yer neck and he know somethin’s there. It isna till ye see whether it’s a boar or a bird that ye can breathe again.”

Claire chuckled and shook her head but moved so Jamie could take up her seat and peer through the eyepiece. 

“Well, it’s neither boars nor birds – though they might come up in a discussion of the birds and the bees…” 

He frowned at her a moment before turning his attention back to the microscope. 

“These have tails,” he laughed. “Look at ‘em, fighting and swimmin’ about. What are these ones called and where’d ye find ‘em?”

“They are some of the male gametes you gave me earlier this morning,” she told him with a sly smile. 

It took a moment for understanding to wash over Jamie. When it did, his smile vanished and a quiet horror replaced it. 

He cleared his throat and stepped away from the microscope. “Is it really appropriate for ye to be examining such things, Claire?” he scolded. “What if Brianna came in and asked to see? What would ye tell her then?”

Claire retrieved the slide and the cloth and returned to the cleaning up he’d interrupted. 

“I suppose I would use it as an opportunity to have ‘The Talk’ with her. She’s almost reached the age where it’s unavoidable and I’d rather she be prepared for puberty than blindsided by it. I had hoped…” But Claire stopped, her amusement and practicality fading in an instant. 

Whatever indignation Jamie’s shock had inclined him toward, it vanished at the sudden change in Claire. 

“Rather… I had thought that… maybe… I thought there might be something else that would naturally lead to a discussion of such things,” Claire fumbled on. 

���Are ye sure… that it’s not…” Jamie asked quietly. “Ye are late, Sassenach.”

“No,” Claire admitted. “Things have been… irregular… I don’t have any other symptoms that would suggest that it might be… that. And there’s my age to consider.”

“And ye’d rather not get our hopes up by thinking it might be that,” Jamie agreed. 

“There’s no way to know for sure one way or the other for a while yet. No use counting our chickens before they hatch or getting excited about something that’s not likely to happen,” Claire insisted. 

Jamie gave her a weak smile, crossed the small distance between them, and kissed Claire’s forehead, welcoming it as she melted into him seeking refuge and support. 

“For Bree’s sake – and mine – I hope ye dinna feel the need to show her my – what did ye call them?”

He felt Claire smile against his chest. “‘Male gametes’?”

“Aye, that was it,” he said, sounding horrified. “I dinna think I could look her in the face did I ken she’d seen that and kent where ye got them.”

Claire chuckled. “I can draw her some diagrams. You can keep your dignity on this one.”

“Bless ye, Sassenach,” he murmured, holding her tighter. 

There was a knock on the door – not their bedroom door, but the door to the cottage. It startled them and sent them scrambling. Claire snatched up her shawl and hurried to wake Brianna and get her somewhere safely out of sight till she was fully awake and dressed. Hell, she needed to get herself dressed. 

Jamie opened the door after mother and daughter were in a position to peer at their visitor without allowing too much of themselves to be seen. 

It was one of the younger grooms who had accompanied Lord and Lady Dunsany on their excursion to visit their oldest daughter while retrieving the younger. 

“I’ve been sent to fetch Mrs. Mackenzie,” he explained. “Lady Dunsany has learned Lady Geneva is carryin’ a babe and she insists her personal physician tend to her.”

Claire stepped out from her bedroom doorway, the groom careful to keep his eyes on Jamie. 

“And how long am I expected to stay and tend to Lady Geneva?” Claire asked, a harsh edge challenging the poor, uncertain groom. 

“She didn’t say, ma’am. I don’t think it’s to be through the birth as that’s months away yet, from what Lady Dunsany said. I’m just here to fetch you for her,” he reiterated. 

“Do you want me to come with ye?” Jamie asked, his eyes sliding past her to Brianna. 

“Not yet,” Claire said with a sigh, turning to dress and gather her things. “Though if all three of us turned up, it might ensure I’m not pressed to stay long.”

[imagineclaireandjamie]

Come Hell or Helwater - Part Sixteen

Claire comes back to the past with Brianna and arrives at Helwater looking for Jamie—but must confront the Dunsanys first.

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven, Part Twelve, Part Thirteen, Part Fourteen, Part Fifteen

This installment is kind of inspired by and therefore dedicated to all the parents out there who have been put into the position of homeschooling their children due to current circumstances. ~ Mod Lenny

********************************************************

With Lady Isobel gone to stay with her sister, Brianna’s education fell back to Claire and Jamie. 

At first, Claire worked with Brianna during the day while Jamie was busy with the horses. She reviewed mathematics and gave Brianna some problems to solve before changing their attention to science. Even if Brianna hadn’t requested it, Claire would have insisted upon teaching her daughter as much 20th century science as she could. 

When Jamie returned for lunch and dinner, Brianna would tell him about what she had learned and then in the evenings, he would work with her on languages, reading and classical history. 

Brianna and Claire played a game when Jamie wasn’t around where she would toss out a historical event and Brianna had to guess whether or not it had happened yet. Once, Brianna asked about changing history and whether it was possible. Claire offered an abridged account of her own attempts at changing things with Jamie’s help.

“Perhaps it was only that we tried to change an event that was too large,” Claire admitted with a shrug. “There were too many forces pushing it to happen and we couldn’t stop enough of them. Perhaps, if we’d tried with something smaller and more insignificant, we would have succeeded and eventually its consequences would have snowballed into larger changes decades from now. Or perhaps it isn’t possible at all.”

“Maybe the things you could change of the ones that don’t make it into history books at all,” Brianna guessed. “Then you wouldn’t know if you were changing anything or not.”

“Maybe,” Claire agreed with a smile. 

But while Jamie would probably have happily skipped learning the history-yet-to-come that fueled their game, his curiosity got the better of him when it came to Brianna recounting what Claire was teaching her of science. 

“And why are ye growin’ mold on bread?” Jamie asked, turning from Brianna to Claire. But Brianna answered. 

“There’s a special kind that squirts out stuff that keeps you from getting sick,” she explained, causing Claire to laugh and Jamie to quirk an eyebrow.

“Lord John has agreed to help me acquire a microscope,” Claire told him. “And if it works well enough, I should be able to find — or at least try to find — the strain that secretes what will one day be called penicillin. It’s an antibiotic that can help prevent and cure infection.”

“The wee bit of mold will do all that?” he asked in wonderment. 

Claire smiled, carrying a plate with freshly cut (and mold free) bread to put on the table before him. She stayed standing behind him, resting her hands on his shoulders and leaning in close to add, “And it’s a Scot who’ll discover it. In about a hundred and fifty years’ time.” She kissed his cheek and gave him a pat on the back before moving to take her own seat and dig into the meal.

“And you plan to find it and… use it?”

“Of course. I’ll need to fashion some kind of hypodermic needle eventually, but an oral administration is better than nothing. The acid in the stomach breaks it down a bit so its effects aren’t as fast or strong,” she rambled. 

Jamie sat nodding, watching her as he chewed. 

“When did you say Lord John would send you the microscope?” Brianna asked around a full mouth. 

Claire frowned at her and swallowed her own mouthful before replying, “Within the month. I’m hoping it will be closer to a fortnight but either way, it doesn’t hurt to start a few cultures so I have something to try right away. As soon as it arrives, we’ll go around collecting samples we can use to calibrate the microscope. Trough water, goat’s milk… we’ll see if we can find some algae on the rocks in the stream and maybe some plant spores or flower pollen…”

“I can bring ye some of the muck from the stalls if that would be of interest to ye,” Jamie offered. 

Claire beamed while Brianna grimaced at the thought. Jamie laughed, joined by Claire when she saw Brianna’s disgusted expression (only some of which was about Jamie’s offer and the rest by her mother’s obvious intention to take him up on it). 

“I cannae wait to see what ye find wi’ the microscope,” he said with excitement. 

********************************************************

The microscope arrived from Lord John about three weeks later, when Brianna’s frustration at its delay had begun to negatively affect her attitude (and Jamie and Claire’s by extension). 

It arrived while Jamie was busy at the stables. When he returned to their small cottage for his midday meal, he instead found Claire bent over the table setting it up and Brianna hovering like a butterfly, too excited to land anywhere for long. 

“Shall I fetch something from Cook in the kitchen then?” he asked, announcing his entrance. 

“Would you?” Claire asked gratefully, adjusting a mirror and inching a candle (burned to a low nub) closer. “I’ve got it nearly there… I don’t want to move it to lay anything out yet.”

“Bree,” Jamie jerked his head back toward the door. “Come help me carry it.” 

“You don’t need help carrying anything from the kitchen,” she whined. “I wanna stay and look through the microscope when Mama’s got it ready.”

“She’s like to have it ready by the time we return and we can find something from Cook tha’s worth a keek through the microscope,” he assured her, heading into the room and herding her out of the cottage. 

He glanced to Claire as he reached to close the door behind them. She was watching him leave mouthing, “thank you,” and smiling. It warmed him through, easing the tired tension in his arms and back from his morning’s work. 

Brianna chattered away as they walked to and from the kitchens, fetching some bread, cheese, and cold meat left from Lord and Lady Dunsany’s meal. 

“Insist on the full spread though Lady Isobel’s away,” Cook muttered as she picked over the parcel she packed for them, retrieving stray bones she needed for making stock. 

Brianna carried the basket while Jamie carried some bottles with ale.

“I wonder if Mama will let us look at that under the microscope,” she mused, nodding to the bottles.

“I’d dinna ken as I want to see that just yet. If I’ve just had it to drink and the sight turns my stomach, I may see it in a still less flattering way… or if it would turn my stomach and I havena drunk it yet, then I’ll just go the day thirsty and I cannae do that wi’ an afternoon yet ahead of me,” he told her.

“Ugh, no. Nothing food or drink then for a while,” Brianna grimaced. 

Jamie chuckled, amazed at just how much the expression matched a common one of Claire’s. It was a constant wonder to watch and listen to Brianna. She was at once the embodiment of Claire, the mirror of himself, and yet something – or rather, someone – entirely her own. 

Claire didn’t look like she’d moved at all since they’d stepped out, but when she raised her head at their entrance her face was alight with triumph. 

“Care to take a look?” she asked Brianna. 

Jamie successfully grabbed the basket from her hands before Brianna could drop it or toss it aside in her haste. 

Claire gave him an apologetic look as she showed Brianna what to do and reminded her not to jar the table or the device. 

“Whoa… what is that?” Brianna gasped. 

“I had a vial on me the last time I went looking for mushrooms in the woods,” Claire explained. “There’s that shallow spot near the stream that’s basically a small stagnant pond. Since I had the vial and there was water in it, I thought I might as well take a sample.”

“Holy cow, they’re moving!”

Instincts startled into action by Brianna’s exclamation, Jamie darted to her side but Claire was grinning. 

“I know! I was worried anything alive in the sample would die before the microscope arrived. You’re looking at a paramecium. They live in the water and feed on bacteria, algae, that sort of thing.”

“I think it’s eating another one,” Brianna said with horror and panic in her voice. She looked to Jamie while Claire swept in to peek.

“It’s not eating the other one. It’s dividing. That’s how they reproduce,” she explained. 

Brianna looked again. “Da… you have to see this.” 

She backed away, offering him her spot. He looked to Claire with uncertainty, but she nodded and walked him through how he should adjust the scope to focus as he needed. She knew he found the right setting when she heard his quiet gasp. 

“And that wee thing lives in the water?” he asked carefully. 

“Not all water. But some microorganisms like this can make people ill. That’s why I always boil water for drinking and sterilize my medical instruments in boiling water. It kills the kinds of microbes that cause infection.” 

“So it’s one of yer germs, then… this paramecium…” 

“Not exactly. But it does eat some kinds of germs. I’m afraid this microscope isn’t strong enough to see the bacteria it feeds on. But it should do just fine for examining the molds to find the right one for penicillin,” she declared. 

“I’ll never again dip my hand to drink from a loch wi’out seein’ that wee thing in my mind’s eye,” Jamie said, sounding haunted and perhaps a bit queasy. 

“What’d you two fetch for lunch?” Claire asked, hungry now that success was achieved.

[imagineclaireandjamie]

Come Hell or Helwater - Part Fifteen

Claire comes back to the past with Brianna and arrives at Helwater looking for Jamie—but must confront the Dunsanys first.

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven, Part Twelve, Part Thirteen, Part Fourteen

******************************************

When Geneva left a few days later, she took her sister to stay with her. It had been their mother’s idea since Geneva insisted she didn’t need Claire to examine her again and that she was fine. But Claire could tell from the relief on Geneva’s face as she preceded Isobel into the carriage that Lady Dunsany’s idea had been planted there by her daughter. 

Claire could only shake her head at the young woman’s predicament and try to enjoy the fact that she would have her own daughter all to herself again.

Brianna appeared excited by the change in routine too. At least, she did at first. But by the end of the first week helping Claire tend to minor injuries and working in the herb gardens of the estate, Brianna was considerably less enthusiastic. Even when she began spending some of the days helping Jamie with his groom’s duties, Claire could sense something was off with Brianna. 

Claire too was beginning to find the excitement and novelty of Helwater wearing away. 

“You need to cut the stems at an angle,” Claire prompted Brianna as they crouched in the garden. Each had a basket next to them and a short blade with a sharp edge. 

Jamie had gifted them with the matching set, though Claire’s instincts screamed not to let her daughter wield something so potentially dangerous, Jamie had taken Brianna aside and given her a thorough training with it. 

“Be sure to remember, you should always—”

“Cut away from my body,” Brianna recited, exasperated. “Make sure my other fingers are out of the way. I know, Mama.”

“I know you know,” Claire said, apologetically. “I don’t say it to make you feel I don’t believe you know better. It’s more like one of your father’s superstitions. If I don’t say it, then it will happen. I’m saying it to protect you.” 

She paused in her own cutting to glance at Brianna who frowned back, unamused. 

They worked a while longer in silence before Claire finally broke down and asked, “Are you missing your lessons with Lady Isobel?”

Brianna shrugged but didn’t look at Claire. “Not really. I miss… I actually miss school. Back home in Boston. I miss my friends,” Brianna confessed.

Claire moved to sit beside Brianna. “Of course you do, sweetheart. It’s a lot you’ve given up and it’s only natural you would miss some of it — especially the friends you left behind. It’s not as though you can be pen pals with them. And there aren’t a lot of girls your age here at Helwater, either.”

“Sometimes… sometimes I get so bored and… I don’t have anyone to talk to,” Brianna said in a choked whisper. Claire watched one tear, then another, drop onto the tansy plant in front of her. “I’m glad to be here with Da but… I wish he could have come through and found us in Boston instead.” 

Claire set her knife aside and reached over to rub Brianna’s back. “You know, sometimes I wish the same thing,” she whispered back. 

Brianna’s head shot up, her face filled with disbelief and relief. “You do?”

Claire nodded. “There are a lot of things about the 20th century that I miss, too… like my friends. But I also know that they miss me and they want me to be happy – even if they don’t know where I am exactly. I wish they could meet your father.”

Brianna nodded. “I wish my friends from school could meet Da. They’d think he was a giant,” she giggled. 

“I miss the hospitals we left behind,” Claire continued. “The clean smell of the antiseptic. Proper medical equipment like x-rays and anesthetic to figure out what’s wrong and set it right with less fuss. Having the necessary medication at the ready instead of always feeling like I’m going to run out of what I need the moment it’s needed.”

“Yeah,” Brianna agreed, “this is a lot more work.”

“But the challenge can be fun too. Trying to make something without the proper tools is enjoyable when it isn’t an emergency.” 

“Like a puzzle.” 

“Precisely,” Claire smiled at her daughter. “What are some other things you miss?”

“Television. And music, like listening to the radio in the car.” Brianna tilted her head, her voice growing more animated as they spoke freely. “I mean, it’s nice not to have so many cars around. There’s plenty of space to play and it’s quieter. But it takes so long to get places, you might as well not go. Except when you don’t go places, it gets so boring.”

Claire chuckled. “There is certainly more limited entertainment in that way. And you’ll always miss those things – the books that haven’t been written yet, the music that hasn’t been composed yet, the films that won’t happen until the equipment to make them is invented. But there’s music that you would never know about if you weren’t here to experience it in person because the people making it don’t know how to write it down or they make it up as they play. And there are a lot of books that have been written.” 

“And we have Da to read them with us.” 

“Mmmmhmmm. And we might miss those other stories, but we got to read them or see them or hear them and we can share those with him as well.”

“There are a lot of little things to be sad about and a lot of little things to be happy about too,” Brianna summarized, her eyes wide with the truth of it. But a smile played at the corners of her mouth too. “I think I need to do a better job counting the happy ones.”

Claire watched Brianna as she turned back to their chores. Brianna did seem lighter as she held the plant steady with one hand and cut at the stems with the knife in the other. 

“I think I do too,” Claire murmured, turning back to her own basket and examining the bundles of cuttings she’d made. 

They lay neatly, all going in the same direction, still mostly clustered together into the groups she would bind together and hang for drying. After that task was done, there were those herbs that had already dried that would need to be crushed and mixed into the various ointments, salves, and decoctions most used in her healing on the estate. Few of those lasted long before spoiling so it was necessary to remake them on a regular schedule and dispose of what had gone unused in the last batch. It was a constant cycle of activity, something always needing to be done, that made it too easy to ignore the disappointment and sorrow building in her chest. 

She wanted a baby and every month that passed that she and Jamie failed to conceive, she sank a little further into that disappointment. It would consume her if she let it. 

But if she wrapped herself in that, it would block out the light of all she did have, most importantly the daughter before her. No matter how old she got, Brianna would always be her baby. All she had to do was close her eyes and she could remember the weight and warmth of that small body in her arms, the smell of the top of her head, the subtle differences of her various cries that only she had learned how to interpret. 

What’s more, she had Jamie again to share in everything yet to come. Brianna growing into a woman, courting boys, learning how to be a wife and mother, or whatever other path their daughter might decide to take — if anyone was likely to buck the expectations of an 18th century woman, it would be one who had spent her formative years in the 20th century.

She needed to focus on what she had and not what she wanted. She’d done that with Frank and it had left them miserable. It had worked out, in the end, and she’d been given what she wanted — a life with Jamie and their child — but she couldn’t expect to be so lucky again. Could she really have gotten used to having Jamie back so quickly? Was she already taking for granted the fact that she had him in her life once more?

“Mama? Are you already done?” Brianna asked, breaking Claire’s reverie. 

“Just counting, darling,” Claire said, shuffling down her row and taking up her knife again. “A few more should do it. Then we can head inside and move on to the next part.”

******************************************

As she lay in bed that night and Jamie turned towards her, she began counting under her breath. 

The way his fingers brushed her shift aside to expose her shoulder. “One.” The way his breath stirred her hair so it tickled her ear whenever he kissed along her jaw. “Two.” The way the heat of his body hovering just above hers had her back arching toward him, so eager for contact. “Three.” The way her skin felt like it was shrinking so that she might burst when his tongue traced its way down her torso. “Four.”

“Are ye makin’ sure I dinna miss a step, Sassenach?” Jamie asked with a chuckle as he lifted his head and grinned at her. 

“Just counting my blessings,” she told him, reaching down and running her fingers through his ruddy curls. “Brianna and I were discussing all the things we miss about Boston and all the things we’re happy to have here. There were several I left off my list at the time because I didn’t think it appropriate to share them with her. But now,” she purred, writhing as he bent his head back to teasing her. “Now I intend to take a full accounting.”

“Mmmm, well, I’ll see if I can make ye lose count.”

[imagineclaireandjamie]

Come Hell or Helwater - Part Fourteen

Claire comes back to the past with Brianna and arrives at Helwater looking for Jamie—but must confront the Dunsanys first.

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven, Part Twelve, Part Thirteen

*********************************************

When Claire reached the main house, she was shown up to the same rooms that had belonged to Geneva before her marriage. 

Isobel and Lady Dunsany were seated near the bed where Geneva was resting. But Claire’s attention immediately went to her prospective patient. 

There was certainly a disheveled exhaustion about Geneva. The drawn look about her eyes indicated difficulty sleeping or some other strain. Her coloring was off too. She appeared more likely to break out into a cold sweat than a maidenly blush. To Claire’s eyes, the young woman was clearly unwell and not simply tired from an uncomfortable journey over bad roads.

Geneva roused when her mother greeted Claire. Her eyes quickly sought and found Claire’s. Before Geneva could conceal it, Claire thought she saw fear and relief wash over her face. 

“Mama, would you and Isobel leave us?” Geneva requested. “I recall Mrs. Mackenzie is more comfortable performing her examinations in private.” 

“Indeed. And whatever else Mrs. Mackenzie recommends for you, I’m certain that rest will be imperative,” Lady Dunsany conceded. “If you had given us more warning of your visit and had taken your time in your journey, I could have planned something especially appropriate for your first night at home again. However, I suppose a quieter meal for tonight will suit you better under the circumstances. I shall speak with Cook about arranging something for tomorrow evening or later in the week, when you’re feeling more yourself.”

“I won’t be staying more than a day or two, I’m afraid, Mama,” Geneva apologized as she moved to sit up. “Lord Ellesmere was traveling for business and I grew weary of being left behind. But he will return soon and I should be at home when he arrives. I will speak to him, though, about making an extended visit before too long,” she promised with a saccharine smile for her mother. 

Lady Dunsany’s smile in return was indulgent. “Of course, my darling. We’ll discuss it more tomorrow and make a proper event of it when you come for your longer stay. And we will always have your rooms here ready for you.” 

Isobel remained silent as she followed her mother out, casting one last fearful and curious look back at Claire and her sister as she closed the door behind them. 

Geneva sighed deeply but quickly lost the remaining color in her face and darted up for the chamber pot. She made it in time to heave the contents of her stomach into it, then turned to Claire with tears in her eyes. 

“Help me,” she begged. 

Claire rushed to Geneva’s side as she turned back to the porcelain vessel to gag and choke on bile for a moment longer. After fetching Geneva some water to rinse her mouth out, Claire found herself rubbing the young woman’s back while she spat into the basin and breathed through her mouth until the nausea subsided. 

“I suspect I know what’s ailing you,” Claire murmured.

“I’m carrying a child,” Geneva confirmed, her eyes drifting closed as she lifted her head, deliberately swallowed, and then sighed when there was no further urge to vomit. She set the basin aside and drifted back to the bed. “It’s not my husband’s,” she confessed quietly.

Claire frowned at Geneva as she covered the basin with a cloth and brought another glass of water to the bed for Geneva to swallow this time. “You’re certain it isn’t?”

Color came flooding back to Geneva’s face. “Lord Ellesmere and I haven’t… It can’t be his and he’ll know it as soon as he learns about my condition.” 

A chill traveled up Claire’s spine as the implications of Geneva’s declaration registered. 

“Then… you’re asking me to help you get rid of it,” she stated. 

Geneva’s eyes sparked with horror. “No! Absolutely not. If I’m going to bear a child, I’d far rather it be Daniel’s child than my husband’s,” she asserted. “I need your help to get Lord Ellesmere to lay with me so I can convince him the child is his.” She scoffed and shook her head. “Just a few months ago, the last thing I wanted was for that man to lay a hand on me and now, if he doesn’t fulfill his husbandly duties I’ll be ruined.”

“I’m not sure what help I can be with your situation,” Claire admitted, with an internal sigh of relief. “Has he given you any indication why he hasn’t…?” 

“His manhood fails him. He… does things that rouse him… but it hasn’t been enough for him to… complete the deed,” Geneva stumbled awkwardly through her explanation. “If there were something I could give him to help him… maintain himself long enough to… see things through, then when I tell him in a few weeks that I’m with child, he’ll believe it’s his.”

“While I sympathize with your situation, I am not comfortable helping you to drug your husband—”

“It’s not as if he isn’t keen to—” Geneva started, but cut herself off as another wave of nausea washed over her. She closed her eyes and rode it out, then began arguing her position again, more calmly. “I’m not looking to cause him harm. The opposite, in fact,” she said with the enthusiasm of a point that had only just occurred to her. “The truth wouldn’t just damage my reputation. It would devastate Lord Ellesmere. He would be humiliated. But if he were able to father an heir… it would allow him peace and comfort.”

“It is not the deception about your child’s parentage that I object to,” Claire assured Geneva. “And I understand your desire to bear and raise the child of the man you truly love.” She’d been in a similar enough position after Culloden. It had never been a question of trying to trick Frank into believing Brianna was biologically his, but the warring desires for Frank to accept Brianna for her daughter’s sake and to push him away because it should have been Jamie… “I can’t treat someone without their knowledge,” she tried to explain. “Not in this way. If your husband were to come to me seeking treatment for… his condition… I still don’t know that I could help. It’s not an area I’ve had much concern to study.”

“But wise women always know how to handle these matters,” Geneva desperately objected. “You’re supposed to know how to get a child. Wouldn’t that cover that aspect of things as well?”

“I am sorry for your situation,” Claire assured Geneva. “I can help you soothe your morning sickness and I can treat you throughout your pregnancy. If you allow me to examine you regularly, I can make sure everything’s progressing smoothly and let you know how best to take care of yourself and your baby. I am happy to be a midwife to you when the time comes… but I can’t tell you what to do about your husband. I agree that if he can be made to think the child is his, it could be the kindest thing for him as well as for the child. But I don’t know how you might be able to do that.”

Geneva scoffed in frustration, tears springing to her eyes. “So you will not help me. Very well,” she remarked, already recalculating the possibilities in the wake of the blow. “You can go. And you are not to tell anyone—”

“I’ve told you before, what you tell me in confidence while you’re under my care as a patient goes no further than this room. And I meant what I said—if you need me for anything concerning your health or that of your baby, I will tend to you and will do everything I am able in my power as a healer.”

Geneva’s expression softened. “Is there something that will settle my stomach? I… I’m afraid that will give me away.”

Claire nodded and crossed to the desk for paper and a quill to write out some instructions and recipes for Geneva to try.

*********************************************

Claire walked back to the cottage turning over Geneva’s predicament. She pitied the young woman for being trapped in a marriage she didn’t want, so that what should have been a happy occurrence had turned out to be a source of deep distress. Pregnancy was nerve wracking enough in ideal circumstances, but her situation… And to only have had a single night with the man she loved—to have had such a limited experience of the joys and pleasures of sex…

Brianna and Jamie were still busy and away when Claire arrived at their (hopefully) temporary home. And the pity she felt for Geneva broke beneath a wave of jealousy and grief. 

A single night. That was all it had taken for Geneva to fall pregnant—pregnant with a child unsought and undesired, even if conceived in love. While she and Jamie had been hoping and trying for another child for months and had struggled in the early days of their marriage too. 

Jamie kept telling her it would happen when it was meant to happen—and also that he was sure it would happen. 

“We’ve weathered tougher storms than this, Sassenach. The sun appeared again then and it will wi’ this as well. Ye’ll see,” he had assured her as she lay in the warmth of his arms. 

For now, though, Claire allowed herself to indulge and weep as she settled into an empty chair before the cold fireplace. 

[imagineclaireandjamie]

Come Hell or Helwater - Part Thirteen

Claire comes back to the past with Brianna and arrives at Helwater looking for Jamie—but must confront the Dunsanys first.

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven, Part Twelve

**********************************************

Claire bit her lip and braced her arms against the rough boards of the wall of the empty stall while her legs went to jelly. Jamie’s arm tightened around her waist, holding her up as he breathed heavily against her neck, his chest heaving where it pressed against her back. She could feel his satiated smile as he kissed behind her ear. Slowly, her pulse began to check itself and return to normal, awareness of their larger surroundings returning with the strength in her legs. 

The stall stank but not as badly as it had before Jamie had finished mucking it. Claire had watched him, the basket with their lunch over her arm. The mare, temporarily displaced to the next stall, had been kicking up a fuss at the disturbance, so Jamie had been chatting to her in an effort to keep her calm. He hadn’t heard Claire’s approach and didn’t know she would be coming. 

The image of a different barn, from a different time and a different estate, crashed over her, dragging her back. 

Then Jamie had glanced over his shoulder and spotted her, his face lighting with the same smile she remembered from those early days at Leoch. She did what she wished she’d done all those years before and pulled the stall door closed behind her so she and Jamie could have a few moments to themselves with a little more abandon than could be managed with Brianna on the other side of the wall. They tried to keep quiet but when it couldn’t be helped, the horses minded less than their daughter would have. 

“I dinna suppose that was quite what ye had in mind when ye came lookin’ for me,” Jamie murmured, reluctant to pull away. 

“Not precisely, no,” Claire confirmed. “But I’m not going to complain,” she chuckled. 

“I wouldna wish to encourage complaints, but I do take requests under consideration,” he teased, finally releasing her with a final kiss to the side of her throat. 

Her skirts fell, causing the straw to rustle on the ground and Jamie hastily began rearranging his breeks, tucking in his shirt, and fixing his belt. 

“Well, we don’t have the time for a more formal picnic anymore,” Claire mused, “but I hope you can still sit for a few minutes to have some lunch.”

“I believe I can manage that.”

He exited the stall, leaving her to tidy herself while he found a barrel they’d been using to temporarily store the horses’ oats and a board that could serve as a tabletop. Claire unloaded the basket and Jamie fetched a pair of stools. 

By the time one of the other grooms came through the door, Jamie and Claire were the picture of respectability, seated and halfway through their midday meal. 

“Best make quick work of that,” the man nodded to Jamie as he made to move the mare back to her original stall. “Word’s come that Lady Geneva has decided to visit her family for a few days. Messenger was sent ahead when she stopped for fresh horses. She’s expected within the hour.”

Jamie sighed as Claire began to tidy their lunch things and return them to her basket. 

“I should fetch Bree from the house,” she explained. “They won’t want her about and she’ll be pleased to have her ‘lesson’ cut short.”

“Will the lass be underfoot wi’ you this afternoon if she’s no to stay at the house wi’ the ladies?” Jamie asked. 

Claire tried to decide from his tone which way he hoped she’d answer. Brianna had taken to splitting her time between her parents as they went about their daily work. She enjoyed helping Claire build and plant her herb garden more than tend to the weeding or gather and dry the herbs. And she enjoyed physically caring for the horses and roaming the fields with Jamie more than the tiresome and repetitive training of the colts and fillies. 

“I don’t expect so but if there are guests at the house—even if it’s only Lady Geneva—it could easily throw things out of whack. What’ll you be working on?”

“If there’s a carriage due, I expect I’ll be left to feedin’ and cleanin’ the horses, settling them in for however long, and then doin’ the same for the carriage—well, no the feedin’ so much as makin’ sure everything’s in proper workin’ order. Wouldna want to let a wheel go that might need repairing,” he mused as he set the board back against the stable wall and shifted the barrel back to its prior resting place.

“I’ll let Bree know. She might want to help or just watch.” Claire went up on her toes to kiss his cheek in farewell but Jamie slipped an arm around her waist before she could slip away again. He made sure she left with a proper kiss and a gentle squeeze to her arse, a thank you for the brief meal and the impromptu tryst shared before. 

Claire saw the carriage making its way up the drive as she crossed from the stables to the yard. She entered the house through the kitchens, thanking Cook for the basket of food and flushing as she told the older woman how much she and Jamie had enjoyed it. Cook chuckled knowingly as Claire slipped through to the drawing room where Brianna had her informal lessons with Isobel. 

Brianna and Isobel were at the window holding back the drapes to watch the carriage.

“Mrs. Mackenzie,” Isobel exclaimed as she turned at the sound of Claire’s entrance. “I was just going to send someone to fetch you. I apologize for the change in plan—”

“I heard about your sister’s visit and came straight away. I know you’ll want to catch up with her and I don’t blame you for it in the least. Brianna doesn’t either, does she?” Claire looked to her daughter.

Brianna finally peeled her gaze away from the window. “Huh? Oh. No, not at all. It’s been a while since you’ve seen each other and it doesn’t sound like she’s staying more than a day or two. We can pick up where we left off after she goes home again,” Brianna offered, moving to the table and putting away her things. She wasn’t particularly gentle with the bit of embroidery work she’d been practicing, gleefully squishing it into the pile between two books. 

“You should take that with you,” Isobel suggested. “So you don’t fall behind.”

Brianna smiled politely, backing away from the shelf where she’d been prepared to shove everything. 

“We’ll get out of your hair. You’ll be wanting to go down and meet the carriage,” Claire guessed. She guided Brianna out of the room and back through toward the kitchen. 

“I doubt I’ll fall behind in two days,” Brianna muttered under her breath when Isobel was out of earshot. 

“Probably not,” Claire agreed. “We’ll run these back to the cottage for safekeeping and figure out what to do from there.”

They were just unlocking the door when they heard hurried footsteps on the gravel behind them. Brianna pushed inside, eager to be rid of the weight of books. Claire turned to see one of the kitchen maids running after them. 

“Is everything alright?” Claire asked, fearing the young woman might pass out from the exertion. She was bent double, her hand kneading a stitch in her side while she fought to catch her breath. 

“Yes, everything… is fine. Lady… Lady Geneva said she’s… tired and feeling a little… unwell—from the carriage ride,” the kitchen maid explained. She swallowed and took a deep breath, settling. “Complained the way was rough and she was tossed about. Wants to see if you might stop in to see her and bring some sort of tonic to ease her nerves.”

Claire turned to see Brianna rolling her eyes, thankfully, out of the maid’s sight. 

“I’ll be along shortly,” Claire assured the messenger. “I just need to get my daughter settled.”

The maid nodded and turned to make her mad dash back to the house. 

“I was going to see if you wanted to go help your father in the stables anyway,” Claire told Brianna. “He thought you might like to see the carriage up close. Might even let you pretend to ride in it if you help him clean it.” 

“He would be right,” Brianna agreed, her step lighter as she closed the cottage door and turned to lead the way to the stables. 

[imagineclaireandjamie]

Come Hell or Helwater prompt: I would love to see Jamie in full story telling mode. Maybe telling Bree how he met her mother? How they got married? How he helped Claire escape BJR? About his childhood? etc.

Come Hell or Helwater - Part Twelve

Claire comes back to the past with Brianna and arrives at Helwater looking for Jamie—but must confront the Dunsanys first.

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven

*****************************

Brianna yawned as she followed her father across several fields, the weight of the tools slowing her down. He hauled a small handcart loaded with a variety of boards and other scraps of wood, uncertain exactly what would be needed in the course of the repairs. 

There were still stripes of shadow across their path as they approached the edge of the far field. The sun was as reluctant to rise above the treetops as Brianna had been to rise from her bed. 

At last they reached the spot in the fence where something had broken through. 

“What d’you think did it?” Brianna asked. “It looks like someone took a battering ram to it.” She gaped at the way the long, slender — well they weren’t proper boards, really, at least, not the way she thought of boards. These were rougher and uneven. Hand hewn, likely. And there were two that looked like an attempt had been made to fold them in half but instead they’d broken and fallen. Splinters stuck out at odd angles, away from what would have been the fold. 

Jamie was quiet while he assessed the damage. “No, I dinna think it the work of a ram,” he teased gently. “Were it a ram they wouldna be broken so high. And they’re broken in toward the field, so it wasna one of the horses makin’ a break for it either. See,” he pointed, showing Brianna the only logical direction of impact. “Damn. I’d no realized how broken these would be. It’ll no do to put them back in their place and reinforce them at the weak spots. And there’s no easy way to make new ones either, save felling the trees and shapin’ them myself.”

“Can you just put another post here?” Brianna asked, pointing to the spot on the ground above where the damage had been done to the crossboards. “A post doesn’t have to be tall the way the others have to be long.”

Jamie smiled and nodded. “That might just be the easiest and surest thing to do. It’ll no look even but there’s few as will come so far out and most of them willna care. Right. If tha’s the plan, then first thing I need to do is mark the spot and take down the broken beams.”

“Clear the area so you can dig the hole for the new pole,” Brianna guessed. 

“Aye,” Jamie grinned at her. “And clean up the broken bits as best as can be managed. Make them each into two proper beams again so there’s naught to catch on should one of the beasts brush against it in passing.”

Brianna set the tools down and began sorting them while Jamie went to the posts on either end of where they’d be digging the new post. With a few deft moves and some loud grunts, he removed the broken beams from their fastenings at either of the other posts and eased them to the ground. Once they were laid out and waiting, he returned to Brianna’s spot on the grass where she was waiting with a hand saw held out for him to take. 

“Thank ye.” After a few moments of quiet, he glanced up to see Brianna was closely watching what he was doing. “Have ye helped wi’ such things before, then?”

“Not really,” she confessed. “Frank was a professor and not very handy. Mama did more of the handyman stuff around the house. When she wasn’t busy at the hospital. But we had a neighbor who did carpentry and stuff in the small yard behind his house. I could see down into it from my bedroom window and I liked to watch him at it.” 

“Did ye ever ask him if ye might help?”

Brianna shook her head. “We didn’t know him well enough for that.”

“Can ye come hold this stead here?” 

Brianna braced the board while Jamie cut through the last bit, moving his foot out of the way of the half that fell, then reaching to take and set down the other half Brianna held. 

“Where’d you learn to fix things like this?” she asked as he settled her with the second board to brace. 

“There were plenty of fences to fix at Lallybroch when I was a wean,” he told her. “And my da always said it was the Laird’s responsibility to ken what to do for the care and keeping of the estate, from the fence posts to the roofing, the planting to the harvest, and the breeding to the birthing.” He was distracted by Brianna’s low snort of amusement and lightly knicked his knuckle with one of the saw’s teeth. 

The finger went to his mouth with a brief hiss and Brianna nearly dropped the board.

“You didn’t get yourself bad did you?” she asked, nervous. 

“No,” he grimaced, looking at the finger and small flap where the flesh had been torn. “It’s one of those that’ll bleed a bit but it’s no bad. Just uncomfortably placed. D’ye have a bit of cloth on ye I might wrap it wi’?”

She pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and handed it over. 

“Will you let me try?” she asked, nodding to the abandoned board. There wasn’t more than an inch of the broken bit left to sever before it would be two separate pieces. 

“I’m standin’ here wi’ a bloody hand and you want to try yers at it?” he asked, but his tone was amused so Brianna smiled broadly and nodded. “Like yer mother you are. Alright then, but keep yer fingers clear of the blade and go slow. It’s the movement of yer pass that matters, no the speed.” 

He held it steady for her as she settled the blade in the deep groove he’d already made. 

“Take care ye dinna catch yerself on the splinters there either,” he warned as she got her own grip in place, one hand steadying the board and the other seeking to impose its will on the handsaw. “I dinna want yer mam to need to stitch ye up when we’ve no been let on our own more’n a few hours.”

“She’ll want to stitch you up when she sees your finger there,” Brianna retorted, her concentration focused on her hands, the boards, and the blade. 

“Hmm,” Jamie agreed, darting a glance to the cloth around his hand. No blood had soaked through yet. That must be a good sign. “It’s only a matter of time wi’ me. She wouldna recognize me did I no need patchin’ up on a regular schedule. Did… did she ever tell ye about how we met?”

Brianna was through the board and using the back of her hand to wipe her brow. 

“She said she met you the first day she was… here,” Brianna told him. “She said you’d hurt yourself and needed her to fix you. And that you always kept her busy on that front.”

“Tha’s true enough. And it wasna that I’d done myself injury. No as I see it. I didna shoot myself, after all, though… the arm goin’ out of joint might be laid at my feet as it was my horse that threw me—but that was on account of his bein’ startled by the sound of the gun that was fired close at hand.”

“You were shot and fell off your horse?” Brianna sought to clarify, her jaw hanging loose. 

“I fell from the horse and hurt my arm first,” he informed her, laying the boards out along the ground to see where he would need to place the new post. “I was shot durin’ an ambush after yer mother put my arm back into joint. It was a good thing I’d dumped her from the horse, too, or the shot that went through me might have killed her ‘fore it even would ha’ touched me.” 

“Wait a minute. Go back. You dumped Mama off a horse?” 

Jamie grinned as he looked over to see Brianna standing incredulously, her hands on her hips and the saw carefully angled away from her body. 

“I thought ye said she’d told ye what happened?” he teased.

“Obviously not the interesting stuff.” 

“Well… I suppose that’s something I can help ye with. Let’s go back and fetch the shovel so I can get to diggin’ the post hole.”

*****************************

“How did everything go with Bree today?” Claire asked quietly as she slid between the sheets and settled into the pocket of warmth Jamie’s furnace of a body had already created. “She seemed… well, she seemed almost giddy. It put me in mind of when she’d been at the biscuit jar and I hadn’t checked yet so she was still thinking she’d gotten away with it.”

“She’s a knack for understandin’ how things fit together,” Jamie told her. He was laying on his back, his hands resting on his chest and his eyes closed but there was still that tension in his face and limbs that indicated he was waiting, not sleeping. “I ken it’ll be some time yet before we can go back to Lallybroch, but she’ll make a decent farmer. Shouldna take her long to pick up what needs doing to care for the land and the tenants and such.”

“Did you tell her about Lallybroch? We stopped by there before we knew to come here, but we weren’t there long and it was so soon after we’d… arrived…”

“Aye, I told her about Lallybroch. And Leoch. And a bit about Paris. Everything I could remember of those months we had together. It’s… I didna ken how much I missed talking of them—of you—in the years ye were gone.” He opened his eyes, then, and turned his head toward her on the pillow. “It hurt to talk of ye. And yet, was impossible no to think of ye. Every minute, of every day. You… and the bairn.”

Claire rolled to her side, edging closer to him and kissing him softly. “I know,” she whispered as she pulled away.

“That’s why ye didna tell her more? Even after ye told her the truth?”

“I told her about you, as much as I could bear… About how you were Laird of Lallybroch, that you were a soldier and a farmer… That you are kind and thoughtful… But, I couldn’t tell her about us. That… It hurt too much.”

“It doesna hurt now, Sassenach,” he murmured, pulling her close and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Whether she wishes to or no, I dinna ken as I’ll be able to help myself tellin’ her about us. My father never could and I see better now why that was.”

[imagineclaireandjamie]

I ❤️ Come Hell or Helwater. I’d really love to see how things pan out. Thank you.

It’s a shorter one to get back into the swing of things with this AU, but I need to get back into the habit of writing now I’ve settled into more of a routine at my new digs. Thanks everyone for your patience during my sporadic semi-hiatus.

~Mod Lenny

Come Hell or Helwater - Part Eleven

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten

*******************************************

Claire waited to be summoned the following morning to treat Geneva’s “headache,” but it didn’t come. Nor did it come the day after that. Aside from a few mildly defiant glances from Geneva when their paths crossed, it was as if the midnight housecall hadn’t happened. 

There was nothing for Claire to do but push it from her mind as Geneva’s wedding came and went, taking Geneva and any lingering physical or emotional issues away to her new husband’s estate. 

It was easy for Claire to let go of her concern for Geneva. With the excitement of the wedding past, the guests went home and a steadier routine settled upon the Frasers at Helwater. 

Jamie rose early, sometimes rousing Claire for a few stolen moments in the process. Before he left for the stables, he made sure to wake Brianna as well and wish her good morning. Then mother and daughter forced themselves out of bed to make themselves breakfast (Jamie took his breakfast with most of the other servants at the house as he passed on his way). 

Over whatever they could muster that resembled the 20th century food they so often craved (frequently, French toast or what might pass for buttermilk pancakes if they squinted), Claire would listen while Brianna reviewed her lessons ahead of going to see Isobel for the late morning. It became a game for Brianna to guess which of the things she learned from Isobel would be disproven in the coming decades. 

“I wish she covered more math and science than just what I’d need to know to ‘run a household,’” Brianna lamented. 

Claire tried to hold back her amused smile. “You had learned enough of your history before we came to know a bit of what it would be like,” she reminded her daughter. “But if anyone can sympathize, you know it’s me. I’ll help you with maths and science or… why don’t you ask your father to help you? I’m sure he’ll be happy to go over some mathematics or natural history as he knows it. He’s also a polyglot so if there’s a language you’re keen to learn, he’s likely to know it.”

Brianna’s smile was a little strained as she nodded to her mother. “I’ll ask him for some help when he’s done for the night… if he isn’t too tired.” 

Claire let the matter drop, glancing sideways at Brianna and trying to decide what to do. Jamie hadn’t said much to her about how he and Brianna were making out in their attempts to get to know one another, but she suspected the not talking about it — from him as well as Brianna — told her all she needed to know. There was still a palpable and awkward formality between them, at least when Claire was in the room. She wondered if she might be the problem, if her being there and watching them — however carefully she tried to become invisible — might be putting them both on edge and gumming up the works. It didn’t help to dwell on it, but she occasionally feared what adding a pregnancy to the mix might do to Jamie’s relationship with Brianna. Not that it was an issue yet… Though, it would be, and sooner rather than later if she and Jamie had any say in the matter.

It didn’t take long for Claire to convince herself that it was indeed the fact she was there as a crutch for both of them that was preventing father and daughter from bonding more quickly. Unable to find the right way to approach the subject with Brianna, she chose to tackle Jamie first. 

“Is there anything you’ll be doing among your chores that you can ask Bree to help you with?” she inquired one night, her head resting comfortably against his shoulder and her arm draped across his chest. She lightly traced the contours of muscle in his upper arm with her fingertips. 

He tensed beneath her for a moment, caught off guard, then relaxed, trying to appear unbothered. 

“I’m repairin’ a fence in the far field tomorrow. Some creature knocked into it and the wood was so rotted it gave way along half the side. It was a lucky thing the horses werena pasturin’ there at the time. I ‘spose Bree might be handy to have handin’ me the tools when I need ‘em,” Jamie conceded.

“Perfect,” Claire said with yawn. “I have an errand to run in the village and I can’t take her with me. One of the kitchen maids has a sister who’s expecting a baby and it sounds like there’s a fear she may lose it. Has a history of late term miscarriages apparently, poor thing. I told her I’d pay her a visit and examine her to see if there’s anything to be done.”

“And Brianna willna be spendin’ her day in the house wi’ Miss Isobel? Is she no still givin’ the lass lessons as well? I ken I’ve been helpin’ her wi’ a wee bit ‘fore bed—”

“Lady Dunsany and Isobel are going to visit Geneva,” Claire reminded Jamie, pointedly ignoring the way his fingers were tapping the side of his leg. 

“Ah, right. Then… I suppose it’s a plan. I’ll keep an eye on the lass… and pray she doesna find the work too dull,” he murmured. 

Claire chuckled in an effort to lighten the mood and scare off some of his nerves. “Surely the two of you can last one day on your own. And not even a full day at that.”

“Do ye wish me to tell Bree or would ye prefer to do that yerself?” he asked, her attempted levity glancing off without impact. 

“I’ll tell her,” Claire assured him, then yawned again and let her eyes close for the night. She’d deal with Brianna in the morning.

*******************************************

“But I thought you were supposed to go see that woman after they got back from their visit?” Brianna countered when Claire roused her earlier than Brianna had expected. She clearly did not appreciate being awoken and told to dress while it was still quite dark. At least Claire would prepare breakfast for the three of them to share before father and daughter departed to manage tend the horses and then trudge across the fields, tools in hand. 

“You know how medical cases such as this can go from well enough to dangerous in the blink of an eye,” Claire lightly chided. “It’s safer for the patient if I go to see her sooner to get an idea of what we’re dealing with. Besides…” Claire glanced over her shoulder but Jamie was still busy in their room shaving at his mirror, his concentration fixed on not slitting his own throat. “It’ll mean a lot to your father for you to spend a day with him — to see him about his work and all that. You two need to give up walking on eggshells around one another already.”

Brianna used her arm to swing her hair over her shoulder and sighed as it settled. She fixed her mother with a look of teenage exasperation that was a few years too soon for Claire. Still, she endured it, holding out a steaming bowl of parritch for Brianna to reluctantly take. 

[imagineclaireandjamie]

What if Geneva wanted to find out more about who Alex (Jamie) was in love with driven by jealously and finds out about Claire.

Hi anon,

Mod Lenny’s ongoing AU, Come Hell or Helwater, features a scenario where Geneva and Claire come to know each other.

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten

Enjoy!

Love,

The Mods