#colourfulmist

[dark-muse-iris]

I just saw someone else mentioning Cat and Stoplight/Transference Hoseok. I've been wanting to ask this for a while now, but I haven't cause I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable. At some point they mentioned they were at a party with more people, just curious if you intended to write more about them and their shenanigans. I find their relationship so interesting and unique, also the way you write them oof, not enough words to describe it. Btw I'm sorry people made you upset about this. I wish I had found you before all the bad stuff happened.

I don't mind if people ask questions. Readers come in at different times and so not all were there for the drama (which I'm thankful for). To answer your question, yes, I intended to write more, but I don't know if it's a good idea these days. I'm on the fence.

As a recap, I started getting squeezed when Transference was around chapter 4. Not because it was terrible, but because readers didn't think I uploaded fast enough. At the time I worked 60+ hours a week plus had other responsibilities. I explained this and while I should have ignored them, I tried to offer other stories (oneshots, Working Man Bangtan) as carrots to give me the flexibility to write the characters the way I wanted. But the hate mail continued, expanding to personal attacks. I even had a couple credible d0xx threats. I cracked under the pressure of it and Transference went from about 15 parts down to 10 as I deleted storyboards for expanded scenes & sessions.

I wanted to write other things that didn't make people treat me worse, so I started writing for other groups. Got hate for that AND for shortening the series haha, but it ultimately paid off beautifully for my muses. I learned to starve hate mail senders with silence. Once I got going with CMM, I gave some of my best BDSM ideas to Cat and her clients and had a blast. But by the time I got to Hoseok's chapter, I deeply missed Transference and wanted to offer a final parting gift to him and readers who had been supportive of the series and for me as a writer. So I wrote them together in a crossover. No regrets about that! 🔥

But I fucked up later on by playing a popular ask game where readers ask questions of the characters. In my version of the game, all the CMM and Transference characters were together in a room like a party, playing off each other. I prepped for two weeks and it was a wonderful writing exercise until readers asked if Hoseok and the Reader were still together. They got mad when I admitted that I couldn't give Hoseok a fluffy happy ending (read: marriage) totally unsuited for his character. I've been married for several years and know how hard that is; the characters weren't ready for that and I wasn't going to lie to a bunch of 20-something readers and upsell marriage as the ultimate goal in life. That's unethical and while I may be an adulterous smut-peddler, I'm still an ethical one.

Anyways, the party game ultimately blew up in my face and I got so much shit mail for weeks saying I ruined my own series that I went on hiatus and swore to multiple writer friends to make sure I would never write for that Hoseok character again.

The whole Q&A spiel has been deleted for years now, but I kept my word. Now whenever I get a great BDSM idea, it goes elsewhere to a different member, group, or to original writings. I could write additional stories with them two, but if I did that it would have to be prequel stories as part of CMM because I have more creative freedom there. Some of my worst tormentors only liked Hoseok as the dominant and therefore never deduced that he was Stoplight in CMM. That was a blessing and I got to celebrate that chapter which is one of the best I've ever written.

Hardcore CMM readers have been a huge support so if I continued anything, it would be for them. They love the OC more than the members' characters so I've been given the space to expand the universe more, and I did. I have 5-6 pending WIPs for CMM at the moment, but unsure which to finish first. Some of those are for BTS members, but most of them are for other groups (where I could find idols better suited to certain kinks/plots).

I'm thankful to have grown from the sour time. I've learned a lot about fanfic audiences since then via other series. Sometimes k-pop fandoms are impatient, so if I have multi-chapter series, I have to write it in full before uploading anything. It took me 3 series of mistakes to learn that lol, but basically that's why y'all haven't had an upload from me yet. I'm writing 4-5 fics, plus other stories, at the same time while back at 60+ hours a week. 💀💀💀

I'm concerned people will say "this isn't as good as your earlier shit" without considering how hard my life has been during my writing absence; it's not an exaggeration to say I almost died and that after burying so many loved ones, it was something I wanted. So yeah, it probably won't be as good, but that's why I'm focused on finishing specific stories and treating them as gifts to a few friends for now. We'll see how that goes.

Sorry about the long ramble, but I hope this info helped explain stuff. I may wake up someday and change my mind about all this, but I haven't figured out if readers are more or less empathetic than in 2020 when I left. 😅😅😅

[colourfulmist]

Come be my teacher~

I found out a tad too late about SOPE week so this is the only thing I was able to draw, enjoy!

[colourfulmist]

I have a soft spot for these two ಥ_ಥ

[colourfulmist]

A BT21 design for a t-shirt I drew a few months ago

[colourfulmist]

"Wish you were here"

[colourfulmist]

Tossing some unnecessary info about yours truly~