#collegiate grief aus

[writingonleaves]

and what if i really thought some miracle would see us through?

universe: nico hischier (though he doesn't appear in this part) x clementine sandoval x hughes brothers

warnings: cancer, grief, sadness, spoilers to first part (linked below), not proofread

title: "ronan" by taylor swift

word count: 1k

author's note: uhhh surprise?? reached 50 followers today (which, by the way, thank you SO much you're all so wonderful) and had a burst of inspiration and wanted to get out of my writer's block. tried something a bit different and put my journalism degree to use. if you haven't read the first edition of this au yet, please do!! hope you enjoy and lmk what you think!

Hockey Fights Cancer: Hughes Brothers Edition 

From The Athletic

L - R: Miguel Sandoval with baby Quinn Hughes, 1999, Miguel with Clementine Sandoval, Jack Hughes and Luke Hughes, 2005, Jack Hughes with his mother Ellen Weinberg-Hughes and Maeve Sandoval, 2019, Clementine, Quinn, Jack and Luke, 2020. All photos courtesy of Clementine Sandoval

*****

Family values have always been ingrained in the Hughes family. 

With Quinn, Jack and Luke drafted in the top 10 during their respective draft years, they’ve always acknowledged that it takes a village to get where they are. Talent is the obvious driver, but it’s also about the support to elevate that talent. 

But it hasn't necessarily always been family with the Hughes surname that has influenced them. According to Jack, there’s another surname that “should be added onto the back of my jersey.”

The Sandovals consist of Maeve Sandoval nee Brennan, Miguel Sandoval and Clementine Sandoval. Miguel died in 2015 from pancreatic cancer, and he is who all Hughes brothers are playing for as teams across the league celebrates Hockey Fights Cancer nights starting this week.

“Growing up three streets over from the Sandovals in Toronto was such a prominent childhood memory,” Quinn said. “Every memory I have from that time has them in it.”

Ellen Weinberg-Hughes, the Hughes brothers’ mother, and Maeve played collegiate soccer together at the University of New Hampshire. Maeve met Miguel at UNH, Ellen met Jim Hughes post-grad and the four of them became a unit. 

“I still remember meeting Maeve when she was a junior and I was a freshman,” Ellen says. “So outgoing and so skilled. She may have been the first upperclassman to make me feel really welcome.”

Though both couples would have lives that took them to separate places — Ellen and Jim to Florida and New Hampshire and Maeve and Miguel to Massachusetts — they would eventually all meet back in Toronto. 

Clementine was the first child born in 1997, followed by Quinn two years later, then Jack and then Luke. As the only girl in the mix, she naturally fell into the older sister role. 

“I always forget that I don’t technically have any siblings,” Clementine said. “But these days, whenever people ask, I just say I have three younger brothers. Because it’s true.”

Clementine is currently a second-year resident at New York University Langone Health, focusing on a combined emergency room and pediatric residency. After spending her undergrad and medical school years in California, when she was notified of her placement in March 2023, Jack and Luke immediately asked her to move in with them in Hoboken. 

“It was a no brainer,” Jack said. “After being in different states for so long, it felt like it was meant to be. Who gets the chance to live with one of their best friends?”

When Miguel was going through treatment, Clementine had just finished her junior year of high school. Quinn was 15, Jack was 13 and Luke was 11. He died days after Quinn verbally committed to the University of Michigan.

“I was young, but I still remember how positive Miguel was when he must’ve been in so much pain,” Luke said. “He always had a smile on his face and made it to every game of ours he could. I got a hattrick in the last game of mine he came to. I’ll never forget that.”

Miguel couldn’t skate for his life, according to Jim. But that didn’t matter. If he wasn’t at his daughter’s soccer games, he was going to the rink to watch the boys. 

“Miguel was known to be vocal in the stands,” Jim said. “Any bad call and he was immediately on his feet. I know he’s upstairs watching every Canucks and Devils game as passionate as ever.”

Last season, Jack and Luke revealed to Amanda Smith, the New Jersey Devils Team Reporter the reason why they chose 43 and 86. April 3 was Miguel’s birthday, and Miguel always said that Jack’s “bright and bold” personality was as loud as both of his brothers combined. 

“I often think about how [Miguel] never got to see us play in the NHL or for our country,” Quinn said. “Which is so unfair in so many ways, because he always believed in us and was such a loud cheerleader. There are days when I just get sad and I wish he was still here, but then I give Maeve or Clem a call and then it’s usually okay.”

Jack said that Clementine has always been the bright spot amongst the emptiness left by Miguel’s death.

“It puts things into perspective, the way Clee has lived her life beautifully and the way she thinks so positively,” Jack said. “I’ve always seen her as an older sister, but she’s also just one of the best people in the world. Miguel’s energy lives through her.”

“Having Clemmy in our life has been such a blessing,” Luke added. “She’s taught me so much and always looked out for me. I know the three of us try our best to look after her as well.”

Luke still remembers one specific moment during his draft — Clementine and Maeve made it to all three boys’ big days. The morning of, Clementine pulled him aside and gave him an envelope. Immediately, Luke knew what was inside. Quinn and Jack had gotten theirs during their drafts. 

A letter addressed to Luke from Miguel. Written two months before he died. 

“Dad gave those letters to me to give to them and was very specific about his instructions,” Clementine added. “‘Honey, pull them aside on their draft day, and just give it to them without any context. Only for their own eyes to read.’ I remember being like, how do you know they’re gonna get drafted? And he was like, ‘I just know.’”

All three of them still have their respective letters. Ellen and Jim have theirs as well — Maeve gave them theirs on Quinn’s draft day. Letters were a Miguel staple, according to Clementine. She herself got one when she graduated college and probably will get one when she gets married.

“I can’t imagine the amount of courage and strength that took him,” Quinn said. “Knowing that he wasn’t going to be there for such big moments and writing something anyways. I carry mine with me on every road trip.”

Next week, when the Devils host their Hockey Fights Cancer Night during their home game against the Canucks, the Hughes brothers will be playing for Miguel. Clementine, Ellen and Jim will be in the stands while Maeve — an elementary school teacher — will be watching from Boston. 

“We’ll for sure be thinking of him that night, but whenever we step onto the ice, 43 or 86 on our back, we always think of him,” Jack said. “I hope we’re making him proud.”

[fenton-bus]

Eddie Kasbrak

-Dreams about pre-law

-is actually going into hospital administration

-cellist

-was grounded for selling his anti-anxiety medication to Stan Uris in high school

-valedictorian

-deeply ashamed about  attending community college

-constantly worried about the status of his five year plan

-color codes his study schedules for fun

-Gay

[tonystarkbingo]

TSB Week 24!

First up, badges!  We’re getting close to the end, so there’s a LOT of them!

Participation

Magica

Doc Olive

cami-chats

Huntress

Faustess

Bingo

ABrighterDarkness

hddnone

RoseRose

Peach

More badges will definitely be coming as we wrap things up, so don’t forget the most important part of that... YOU MUST CLAIM YOUR BADGES BY FILLING OUT THIS FORM, OR YOU WON’T RECEIVE THEM!

And now, on to the fills!  There are a lot, due to our Discord Party over the weekend!  And speaking of the party, congratulations to all of those that received a Party Favor badge, a Party Animal badge, and/or a Goal badge!  Well done!

Title: echoes from the breakdown  Collaborator: hddnone Link: AO3 Square Filled: S2 - Worst Case Scenario Ship: WinterIronWidow Rating: Mature Major Tags: Graphic Violence, Post CACW Canon Divergence Summary: On a mission gone wrong, Bucky breaks down. With Bucky and team signed under the Accords, the fallout of his mistakes could break the team apart all over again. Natasha won’t let that happen.Turns out Tony won’t let that happen either.Secrets had divided them before, but now maybe a shared secret can pull the three of them together. Word Count: 672

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Title: No More, No Less Collaborator: ABrighterDarkness Link: AO3 Square Filled: A4 0 Royalty Ship: Stony, Steve & Natasha Rating: E Major Tags: Alternate Universe - Royalty Summary: His father had been discussing it again, amongst his advisers. He was barely eighteen , what did he need of a wife at eighteen? Frankly, he was already tired of hearing about it. Tired of meeting the daughters of the various men that were deemed important enough.  None of them had caught his attention in the least and he suspected that they never would.  Not when his daydreams already consisted of intelligent brown eyes, rich brown curls and a wickedly charming grin. Word Count: 4059

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Title: your song Collaborator: peachy Link: AO3 Square Filled: A4 - AU: Band Ship: Stony Rating: Gen Major Tags: Alternate Universe - No Power, Established Relationship, Secret Relationship Summary: Tony Stark is the lead singer of The Avengers. Steve gets a lot of comments when he wears his shirt out in public. Word Count: 1031

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Title: my body is not their bed xvi Collaborator: Simi Link: AO3 Square Filled: A2 - Red Room Tony Ship: Bucky/Tony/Steve/Natasha Rating: Explicit Major Tags: Soulmate AU, Female Tony Stark, Toni is Raised by HYDRA, Explicit Sexual Content, PTSD, Aftermath of Torture Summary: In 1995, the Engineer and the Winter Soldier escape HYDRA and end up, bleeding, on Peggy Carter's doorstep.This is their journey after. This is the story of their victory march. Word Count: 5448

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Title: Still Anticipating Love Collaborator: ceealaina Link: AO3 Square Filled: Adopted - Cock-Blocking Bots Ship: IronHusbands  Rating: Teen Major Tags: 5+1, Fluff and Humour, Protective Bots, Love Confessions Gone Wrong Summary: Five (plus one) different times over the years that Rhodey's attempted to show Tony how he feels about him, only to end up foiled by the bots. (But it's hard to really be upset when they just happen to love Tony as much as Rhodey does.) Word Count: 3993

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Title: Just a Taste Collaborator: thewaythatwerust Link: AO3 Square Filled: T3 - Mission Sex Ship: Stucky Rating: Explicit Major Tags: Explicit Sexual Content Summary: “Please, Stevie?” Bucky wheedles. “Just a taste?” He presses a wet, open-mouth kiss to the back of Steve’s neck, taking his time dragging his tongue over the warm, salty skin.“Buck,” Steve hisses. “We’re in the middle of a mission.” Word Count: 3356

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Title: Snafu Collaborator: G Link: Tumblr Square Filled: S5 - AU: Ancient Civilization Ship: IronDad Rating: G Major Tags: Time Travel Summary: Tony Stark’s one-and-a-half-year-old baby, Natalie, accidentally pushes some buttons on the time travel machine. Word Count: 1691

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Title: Dum-E’s Big Day Collaborator: G Link: Tumblr Square Filled: T2 - Chore Rotation Ship: Peter Parker/Reader, IronDad & SpiderSon Rating: G Major Tags: Destroyed Living Room, Injured Pet Summary: Tony tries to get out of his chores by programming Dum-E to do it. It goes awry Word Count: 1994

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Title: Cheer - Chapter 1 Collaborator: hddnone Link: AO3 Square Filled: S3 - Edwin Jarvis Ship: WinterIron Rating: Teen Major Tags: College Cheerleading AU, Fluff and Humor Summary: The one where the Avengers are a collegiate cheerleading team making their way to Nationals. Word Count: 945

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Title:  Not Again Collaborator: Fighting_for_Creativity Link: AO3 Square Filled: T2 - Kink: Blindfold Ship: WinterIron Rating: Explicit Major Tags: Swearing, Butchered Kidnapping Attempt, Kink Discussion Summary: Sometimes Bucky wished for the simple things. For example, spending a date uninterrupted would be lovely. When he and Tony are back in the tower, they have some heated discussion, in the best possible way. Word Count: 2430

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Title: Follow the Rabbit Collaborator: MagicaDraconia16 Link: AO3 Square Filled: Adopted - Constructed Reality/The Framework Ship: None Rating: Gen Major Tags: a minor swearword, referenced coma, time reset, elements of the Matrix, implied/referenced alcoholism Summary: If you’re reading this, you’ve been in a coma for almost 20 years. Please wake up.  Word Count: 2578

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Title: Quiet Moments With You Collaborator: DarthBloodOrange Link: Tumblr Square Filled: S1 - Intimacy Without Sex Ship: Stony  Rating: Teen Major Tags: Partial Nudity Summary: Tony loves the moments where there's no battles to be fought, no board meetings full of people to appease, no press, the moments where he can just hold Steve close and enjoy the moment. Word Count: N/A

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Title: Council Sought Collaborator: DarthBloodOrange Link: AO3 Square Filled: A5 - Agony Aunt May Ship: Stony Rating: Gen Major Tags: None Summary: Tony visits the Parker's in search of Peter, but Peter isn't home. Instead he ends up talking to May about his feeling for Steve. Tony isn't sure he can just confess to Steve his feelings like May is suggesting, things are more complicated than that... right? Word Count: N/A

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Title: Jealous Collaborator: DarthBloodOrange Link: Tumblr Square Filled: R2 - Damsels (and others) in Distress Ship: Stony Rating: Gen Major Tags: None Summary: Tony does NOT appreciate Clint's comments. Word Count: N/A

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Title:  Sharing the Light of Love Collaborator: DarthBloodOrange Link: Tumblr Square Filled: R5 - Iron Man Noir Ship: Stony Rating: Gen Major Tags: None Summary: It doesn't really matter whether we reflect the light through our authentic gifts or whether our authentic calling is to spread it. What matters is that tonight is that the world is dark, cold, and bleak. Your flame burns so brightly. Share your Love and warmth with others. Watch the Light return."-Sarah Ban Breathnach Word Count: N/A

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Title: you feel like home Collaborator: peachy Link: AO3 Square Filled: K3 - Rarepair Ship: IronHusbands Rating: Gen Major Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Mutual Pining Summary: Tony and Rhodey are roommates, and they fall in love slowly. Word Count: 1843

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Title: Full of You Collaborator: DarthBloodOrange Link: Tumblr Square Filled: S3 - Kink: Double Penetration Ship: Stony Rating: Explicit Major Tags: Explicit Sexual Content, Anal Sex Summary: Tony notices how much Steve loves his armour and decided to do something with that. Word Count: N/A

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Title: Thank You for Waking Me Up Collaborator: hddnone Link: AO3 Square Filled: K1 - MIT Years Ship: WinterIron Rating: Teen Major Tags: Yu Yu Hakusho AU, Demons & Spirit Detectives Summary: Tony almost died. Well, he did die and then was brought back to life, but that was supposed to be a secret. He wants to go back to his college life at MIT and designing robots with Rhodey, but his second chance at life means that he has the Grim Reaper who goes by the name of Phil Coulson trying to train him to save the world.He’s probably not meant to flirt with the demons he’s supposed to be catching. Word Count: 1246

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Title: Perchance to Dream Collaborator: eachpeachpearplum Link: AO3 Square Filled: R5 - Alien Planet Ship: Tony Stark & Peter Parker Rating: Teen Major Tags: Post-Infinity War, Grief, Nightmares Summary: Are nightmares really nightmares if reality is worse? At least Peter's alive in this one... Word Count: 100

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Title: (TM) Collaborator: calmena Link: AO3 Square Filled: Adopted - You Can’t Trademark That Ship: WinterIron Rating: Mature Major Tags: Sex Toys, Crack Summary: In which Tony tinkers and is Tony, Bucky has no shame, and Pepper is embarrassed despite herself. Word Count: 405

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Title: When You Say CBT... Collaborator: feyrelay Link: AO3 Square Filled: A3 - Free Ship: Starker Rating: E Major Tags: Adult Peter Parker, Established Relationship, References to Seasonal Depression, Therapy, Cock Cages Summary: Peter and Tony deal with aging, separately and together. Peter's therapist suggests cognitive behavioral therapy, also sometimes abbreviated as CBT. Kink-related misunderstanding ensues. Word Count: 6542

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Title: Surprise Superpowers: The Good, the Bad, and the Awkward Collaborator: LBibliophile Link: AO3 Square Filled: R5 - Super Soldier Serum Ship: N/A Rating: Gen Major Tags: Extremis!Tony Summary: When Tony injected himself with a modified Extremis, itwas supposed to keep him alive long enough for the arc reactor to be removed, then quietly fade away. It was not supposed to be this strong. It was not supposed to stick around. And it was not supposed to combine with Dr Cho's Cradle and the suit implants to create some really weird side-effects. Tony's not sure what to think about these new superpowers, so he decides to write it all out. Word Count: 1040

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Title: United Front  Collaborator: Fighting_for_Creativity Link: Tumblr Square Filled: Adopted - Tony Stark/Loki Ship: FrostIron Rating: Gen Major Tags: FrostIron, Battle Ready Summary: (Background to the Art) I imagined Loki surprising Tony in the ‘shop but then something goes wrong and they land on a different planet. (Maybe Sakaar?) Tony having only his new prototyp still stand beside Loki, ready to fight who ever tries to harm them. Word Count: N/A

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Title: Blueprints for a Rescue Collaborator: newnewyorker93 Link: AO3 Square Filled: K5 - Image: Rescue Ship: Pepperony Rating: Gen Major Tags: Fluff, Rescue!Pepper Summary: Tony gives Pepper something special for their 1st wedding anniversary, and Pepper makes an important decision. Word Count: 1930

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Title: Stood Up Collaborator: Artemis Day Link: AO3 Square Filled: A5 - First Day Ship: Pepperony Rating: Teen Major Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Powers Summary: This had to be the worst night of Pepper Potts' life. Word Count: 967

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Title: You’re the only place that feels like home Collaborator: Sian Link: AO3 Square Filled: A1 - Sam Wilson/Falcon Ship: WinterIron, background Sam/Clint Rating: Not Rated Major Tags: AU: No Powers, A/B/O, Mpreg, Pretend Relationship, and they were roommates, allusions to past trauma/abuse Summary: Due to a new law, that doesn´t allow Omegas to sign contracts anymore, Tony Stark finds himself in the need of an Alpha roommate - with emphasis on the “mate” part. Lucky for him that Bucky Barnes is also looking for a place to stay… Word Count: 1372

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Title: Ghost of Unprotected Sex Past - Moving Day Collaborator: G Link: Tumblr Square Filled: A2 - Fireplace Ship: Tony Stark x F!Reader // IronDad Rating: Gen Major Tags: Some guilt Summary: You’re moving in temporarily with Tony, and your imagination starts to wander Word Count: 1091

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Title: At the Threshold Collaborator: eachpeachpearplum Link: AO3 Square Filled: A1 - First Date Ship: Stony Rating: Teen Major Tags: Fluff, fluff, and more fluff Summary: It's date three and Steve is going to walk Tony to his door again. Word Count: 624

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Title: Untitled Collaborator: chel Link: Tumblr Square Filled: T2 - AU: Teachers Ship: IronHusbands Rating: Gen Major Tags: N/A Summary: Moodboard Word Count: N/A

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Title: Holding Hope Collaborator: DarthBloodOrange Link: Tumblr Square Filled: Adopted - Grief Ship: Stony Rating: Teen Major Tags: Major Character Death (implied), Apocalypse Summary: The apocalypse has brought Steve and Tony closer then they have ever been. But they might just be out of time... Word Count: N/A

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Title: N/A Collaborator: Trashcanakin Link: Tumblr Square Filled: K3 - Galaxy Ship: WinterIron Rating: Gen Major Tags: N/A Summary: [Fanart] Soulmate AU where your soulmark is a galaxy "tattoo" Word Count: N/A

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Title: Galaxy Collaborator: FestiveFerret Link: Tumblr Square Filled: K1 - Galaxy Ship: Stony Rating: Teen Major Tags: Break-up, Make-up Summary: N/A Word Count: 859

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Title: DUM-E plays dress-ups Collaborator: LBibliophile Link: Tumblr Square Filled: Adopted - Kink: Roleplay Ship: DUM-E & Avengers Team Rating: Gen Major Tags: Disaster Bot Dum-E, Fluff Summary: The Avengers are some of DUM-E’s favourite people, so he tries to copy them. With varying degrees of success.  Word Count: N/A

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Title: Comfort Collaborator: ABrighterDarkness Link: AO3 Square Filled: Adopted - Intimacy Without Sex Ship: Stony Rating: Teen Major Tags: N/A Summary: Tony wasn’t sure what movie Steve had put on, didn’t really pay much attention to it.  The food was, of course, delicious.  Between that and the feeling of relaxing against Steve, with Steve, seemed to unwind that nearly-painful tension that had been tugging down so heavily just an hour or so before.  Word Count: 1540

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Title: At The End Of A Workday Collaborator: Fighting_for_Creativity Link: AO3 Square Filled: R2 - Handjob Ship: Pepperony Rating: Explicit Major Tags: Established Relationship, Domestic Fluff, Shower Sex Summary: After another stressful workday, Pepper had been looking forward to spent some quality time with Tony.Upon arriving in the penthouse, she finds that the engineer was not there.On her way to his workshop, she comes up with how she wants to spent the rest of the evening with Tony.A dinner, domesticity, and some fun times in the bathroom sounded like a solid plan to her. Word Count: 2300

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Title: Nothing’s gonna stop us Collaborator: Feyrelay Link: AO3 Square Filled: A5 - Howard Stark Ship: IronHusbands Rating: Explicit Major Tags: MIT Era, Howard Stark’s A+ Parenting, Brief References to Racism, Fluff and Smut Summary: If Tony says Rhodey's the captain of this budding thing between them that only intensifies under the pressure of summer vacation from MIT, well, then he's damn well gonna steer. Word Count: 1571

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Title: Because I could not stop for Death (He kindly stopped for me) - Chapter 1 Collaborator: Faustess Link: AO3 Square Filled: T3 - Tony Stark/Pepper Potts Ship: ChillyPepperony Rating: Teen Major Tags: Inspired by Corpse Bride (2005), Angst with a Happy Ending, Not Cheating, Pre-Poly, Supernatural Elements Summary: Howard Stark and his wife are wealthy industrialists looking for an entrance into polite society. Lord and Lady Potts are aristocrats one sneeze away from the poorhouse. Their heirs will marry and both sets of parents will get what they want... as long as everything goes According To Plan. (Hint: it doesn't). Word Count: 3049

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Title: Unspoken Collaborator: The_Alias (Artemis_Day) Link: AO3 Square Filled: T5 - Secret Relationship Ship: Pepperony Rating: Teen Major Tags: Fake Dating AU Summary: Tony Stark was at a fancy cocktail party with a gorgeous redhead on his arm. This should’ve been the start of an amazing night, but it wasn’t. Word Count:944

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Title: KISSES [!Art] Collaborator: darthbloodorange Link: Tumblr Square Filled: K2 - KINK: Sex Compulsion Ship: Stony Rating: Explicit Major Tags: Sexual Content, Nudity, Armour kink Summary: Tony struggles to keep up with Steve’s super soldier libido… and not for his lack of trying…

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Title: Because I could not stop for Death - (He kindly stopped for me) - Chapter 2 Collaborators: Faustess, feignedsobriquet Link: AO3 Squares Filled: Faustess, S4 - Miscommunication feignedsobriquet, S4 - Zombie Ship: WinterPepperony Rating: Teen Major Tags: Inspired by Corpse Bride (2005), Angst with a Happy Ending, Not Cheating, Pre-Poly, Supernatural Elements Summary: Here's where the Plan really falls apart spectacularly. Poor Tony - it's really not his fault. Also, Luis tells a story and Pep- I mean Virginia - confirms her opinion of Lord Pierce. Word Count: 6640

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Title: You´re the only place that feels like home - Chapter 3: Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile Collaborator: sianmcawesome Link: AO3 Square Filled: K4 - Iron Dad Ship: WinterIron, background Sam/Clint Rating: Gen Major Tags: for this chapter: references to forced abortions, forced marriage, domestic violence (not between the main characters and all very vague) Summary: Tony needs a babysitter and Bucky gets a home-cooked meal. Word Count: 2324

[fenton-bus]

Stan Uris

-Depressed

-Quietly out

-Kept afloat by the acquisition of pointless knowledge and the company of one Richard Tozier

-Young Mahler  

-Obsessed with etymology

-Rocks Young Republican Day Wear as an act of political subterfuge

[fenton-bus]

Richie Tozier

-Videographer/Documentarian

-Reigning bespectacled king of Derry Community College A/V Club

-Wearer of rompers, Sophia Spornack Raybans

-Bi

[fenton-bus]

I.

How To Lose Acquaintances And Discourage People

    All you really need to know is this:

Austin spills his Monster Energy drink on some Hawaiian-shirt wearing redhead in his Poli-Sci class and Trish ends up paying for it for the remainder of her natural life.

∞

A long shadow falls over her IPad screen.

  Despite the fact that she is a grownup-esque, adult-ish, totes mature person Trish honestly cannot help the rapid fluttering of her heart, the dizzy thrill of reckless hope at the possibility that today of all days, in this crummy corner of Daley’s surrounded by sad, dreamless randoms she’s managed to find her James Darcy or Edward Cullen. Bracing herself against her chair, Trish takes a breath, turns around.

 “Do you ever think about parallel dimensions?”

 JK, its Dez, decked out in a leopard print vest, polka dot pants combo that screams I’m a grown man.

 Trish wrinkles her nose. “What are you wearing?”

 He smiles, wide and warm before choosing a direction to stare into like a pirate ship captain gazing off into the horizon. Hands on hips, dignity forgotten.

 A solitary hair flip. “I woke up like this.”

 “Go back to sleep. It obviously didn’t work.”

 His mouth falls open in an all too real outrage, palms spread. Sensing the full twirl before it happens Trish holds up one hand.

 “Flawless.” Dez intones.

 The voice is more Batman than Beyoncé.

 “No.”

 “Bow down.”

 Trish winces. Grits her teeth. “We’ve been over this freckles, you’re not allowed to blaspheme Beyoncé Carter-Knowles.” It’s way too early in her life for this. "Please go put on different pants.”

 “I hear your criticism, Dez rocks back on the balls of his feet. And I’m going to go in another direction.”

 “The door?”

 “Nope.” There is the ear-punching scratching of chair legs being dragged across the wooden floor (and the subsequent staring of sad randoms without lives) and bam, pale, freckled, freakishly long limbs are stretching across the table to get at her pumpkin spice muffin, gargantuan Franken-feet are nudging her flats under the table, and Dez’s face, sparkling with a truly exhausting amount of joy like they haven’t seen each other in four years as opposed to four days is turned toward her like some giant, non-verbal invitation there aren’t enough versions of ‘I Renounce Thee Satan’ in the world to rsvp to. Trish grabs her iced caramel macchiato and hugs it to her chest protectively.

 “Go away.”

Dez eyes her IPad. “Dude, are you tweeting Quincy Jones again? He hasn’t responded to your last five tweets. He flips his hair again. (Trish does not growl) That last one had a pretty aggressive tone.”

“Carrot face, the girl says sweetly. I’m working.”

The doof actually smiles in this commiserating way, like he lives in a world where applying for internships and writing music reviews are in every way comparable to juggling or baking brownies or riding a unicycle down the Long Island Expressway or whatever he does with his free time. Trish rolls her eyes. Seven months ago she would’ve called Dez Wade a doof and moved on but now, his status is clear: he is high king of the doofs. The Eminent Supreme Doof. On his home planet, whole civilizations of lesser doofs have carved his image in stone and decorated the halls of his palace with his stupid, doofy portrait. The amount of sheer doofiness that is able to exist in one pale, stick figure of a body is Beyond.

 Sometimes, the fact that someone like Dez even exists, much less speaks to her on a daily basis is just…how? Or, it would be, if Trish thought about it for too long. At the moment, she’s up to letting it sit in her brain for a maximum of thirty seconds before she decides to go out and

 Anyway, Dez is saying “Cool,” like he’s worked before, and nodding and launching into a conversation he had with his cat this morning and she’s totally succeeding at not paying attention (on goes the IPad, hello Twitter) when he claps his hands real loud, real sudden, and shouts “Okay!”

The barista formerly carrying the iced mocha latte is currently frozen in place, watching it sail across the room. Staying on its given trajectory means it’ll collide with Wall Street Guy who chose today of all days to wear his best Brooks Brothers suit. But the dude is so busy having a deep convo with Bargain Basement 90s Era Will Smith (big ears, neon green windbreaker, dark purple fanny pack, currently singing the items on the specials board to himself) that he doesn’t notice the coffee he didn’t order until it’s sloshing around in what was previously his very natural looking hair piece. (Wall Street has been coming in and ordering black double espressos since midterms. Trish can’t believe she didn’t notice the rug.)

 Wall Street Guy’s yelp is drowned out by the actual scream of the woman at the table behind him, when his wet hair falls on top of her cinnamon bun.

 “My bad.” Dez mutters.

Trish manages to tear her eyes away from the beautiful train wreck long enough to give him her limited-edition, Side-Eye that had he actually been looking at her, would have given him the effect of feeling judged for all eternity.

Now Cammy the Barista is gazing off into the distance. Not like a pirate captain though, she looks legitimately horrified. Trish has seen that very specific brand of shock and terror on her co-workers faces whenever her bosses go on tangents about “trimming excess”. Trish knows that right this very moment, every tiny, seemingly trivial mistake Cammy’s ever made inside these walls is flashing through her head movie montage style. (the soundtrack? Her anguish) Every messed up order, every backed up afternoon rush,  every time she had to tell the long-haired, piercing-riddled, Ray-Bans wearing, tattooed,   painter from Brooklyn on his usual stop in during his morning bike ride no they didn’t have Amish-made, vegan cranberry pumpkin bread maybe he should try the vegan bakery on lower sixth and even though she got here at five and has already had three encounters that made her put quitting back on the table, and even though she has the same fifty-four word conversation with a dude who chooses to walk this earth with an un ironic rat tail every single morning since she woke up desperate enough to apply here, her voice is calm and polite and even a little regretful, like a tiny part of her feels bad about the fact that a major chain doesn’t carry Amish-made, vegan cranberry pumpkin bread-and then, after all of that Judgey McShower Please still finds enough inner tool bag necessary to take time out of his busy fixie bike tour of the lower east side to pluck one of the little white customer surveys from the pad next to the bucket of skull rings on the counter and fill it out, (resting his weight on the counter like the effort exerted by being a douche exhausts him) making passive aggressive scratching sounds with his pencil as he underlines the phrase “tone was needlessly aggressive” three times. 

 He hands it to her silently, hoists his bike on to his shoulder with one hand, and heads for the door. Trish hopes with all of her might that he rides through Hell’s Kitchen and falls into a construction hole.

As Cammy grapples with the very real possibility of being ‘terminated’ (she has school loans and a cat, and at some point, she kind of wanted to travel-or at least  see a view that wasn’t her elderly neighbors listening to Tony Benet and sucking face.) and Trish tears her eyes away from the ‘well I never’ bluster of  Wall Street Guys trembly rage, (if the vicious way he’s stabbing at his phone is any indication, this melt down is going to be epic) Dez manages to execute the ‘backing away slowly’ move while sitting down. He straightens his shoulders and fold his hands on the table like the last four minutes didn’t happen.

 According to Trish’s Creeper Manual, (545 Pgs., De La Rosa Publishing, $150.00 retail value, all funds go to The Trish De La Rosa foundation) sixty seconds without blinking is classified as a stare.

Trish stares back.

Dez starts humming The Jurassic Park theme.

 Her eyes are in very real danger of rolling out of her head and tumbling across this dirty floor.

 Thirty seconds. Forty-five.

 “Oh my God, what?”

 Dez starts. Smiles. “Oh, I was just wondering what I would look like if I had a carrot for a face.”

 “Do you own a mirror?” She says before she can stop herself.

 Inexplicably (no, she doesn’t want to know) the doof’s grin grows. “Would my face like transform into a carrot or would it just get really orange?”

 “Full on carrot. Trish nods. “Think werewolf but lamer.”

 “I could live with that. I wouldn’t have to worry about getting eaten unless I ran into people who really liked carrots. Ooh, maybe there’s some birth defect that causes people’s faces to turn out vegetable-y! Trish!” He slams his fist on the table, winces real hard, finds the strength to continue. "What if that’s my destiny, to gather all of the down-trodden vegta-people, looked down on, denied their rights simply for being full of folic acid.”

 His voice is rising like a Wonka-vator, gaze full of heroic things only he can see (thank god). She takes a long sip of her coffee, wonders what people lucky enough not to be her are doing right now.

 “Maybe that’s why I was put on this earth, to teach them to love themselves. We’ll live a life free of the judgment of you normies; we’ll build our own colony, with our own laws. He rubs his chin in thought. Maybe we’ll live in a pyramid.”

 “I will pack your bags.”

 “Thank you.”

 Trish leans over, smiling indulgently, pats his hands. “Anything for you buddy.”

 “Aww, His face changes. Wait-“

 “Hey, remember when I told you to scram?”  

 Dez nods, “Was that before or after we planned my future as the pop star impressionist Dezyonce?"

 Deep in the caverns of Trish’s temporal lobes, lies a specific set of neurons responsible for the chemical reaction to strong, talented women being besmirched by fools, thus she is just barely able to resist slapping him in the face with his own hand. Assault is assault after all, and she has the feeling anytime spent in police custody would just result in the gleeful taking of pre and post lock up selfies.

 “Listen Freckles, she intones, in the sweet tone that everyone but the idiot in front of her easily recognizes as the Trish DeLa Rosa, limited edition, “I Will Bury You, Then Innocently Read the Eulogy At Your Funeral With The Kind of Solemn Strength and Dignified Crying That Could Get Me An Oscar” timbre. I know some things-the concept of personal space, how much cologne is too much-are like, totally foreign to you, but if you pay attention, there are these tiny little things called indicators, that can tell you whether or not you’re going in the right direction.”

 He’s doing that rapt attention thing, looking at her with undivided, singular focus  like she’s reading him the bible or describing Zalian VII spoilers or giving him explicit instructions as to how to safely survive the on-coming zombie apocalypse. Trish thinks about this look approximately zero times a day, but if she did the quiet intensity of it, marred somewhat by the eagerness with which he leans over, as though it’s necessary to hear the pauses in her speech, would make the words gently elbowing each other for a prominent spot in her mouth feel incongruous.

 But it doesn’t.

 And they don’t.

 "For example, not only is the amount of Fantasy you’re wearing right now about four times the amount Britney would be caught dead in, but I think we can go ahead and classify it as a biohazard.” Trish straightens her back against her chair. "And it’s weird that you don’t already know this, but “go away” doesn’t mean “oh my god, come closer” in magical, confusing girl language. In general it usually means “go away”, in this specific case, she leans over making sure he’s looking directly into her eyes so there’s no goofy sitcom confusion about this later in the week, “it means the English language hasn’t created a precise set of words that would accurately describe how badly I want you to get out of your chair, and walk away right now.” 

 Trish squares her shoulders. “That’s an indicator.”

 She means for that to be punctuation, to go back to her tablet and if there is a God, maybe, just maybe hear the squeaking of a chair being pushed back and the shuffling of oversized P.F. Flyers, and every other sound of her morning being returned to her.

 But. Dez isn’t looking at her. He’s looking at the hand curled around the collar of his sweater. There is a hand curled around the collar of his sweater and his eyes are trained downward, so he can look at it without moving his head. But then he dips his chin a little, just a couple of inches and it’s hers. Her hand. Trish’s.

 “It’s Curious.”

 “What?”

 “I don’t um, I’m allergic to Fantasy so I only…” His voice tapers off, and Trish, Trish rips her hand away. 

 Dez looks at his hands, spread across the table, wiggles his fingers once, two times.

“So, um…yeah.” The squeaking of the chair legs being dragged across the floor is twice as loud, an unpleasant burst in her ears. The shuffling of worn, size twelve sneakers starts.

 Stops.

 “You want people to be afraid of you," His voice doesn’t tapper off, is calm and quiet and if it shakes only Dez knows for sure. But they aren’t. I know what that is, and no one, nobody’s afraid of you.”

Trish looks at the looping pink cursive of the specials board, Boca patties with bean sprouts, blue cheddar hummus, mushrooms and mozzarella on chibata.

 “People feel sorry for you.”

 Green onions and black bean sauce. Margarita pizza grilled cheese. Spinach and kale mini kiesh. God how many specials does this stupid place have?

 “Everyone feels sorry for you and they just act like they’re afraid, because that’s the politest way to do it. No one would ever say it to your face.”

 The thing Cammy puts above the door isn’t a legitimate bell,  it’s from some dumb door handle Christmas ornament reject thing her mom got her as a sort of homemade alarm system when she moved to Bushwick. Like something that sounds like a cat toy was gonna successfully warn her daughter about intruders. It doesn’t even work. The sound gets lost before it reaches the Beans of Columbia display.

 She sits for a minute. Her index finger brushing against her th-

She sits for a minute. Orders another caramel macchiato ‘cause her first one’s cold. She could heat it up but those coffee microwaves make everything taste weird. Her laptop emits a dissonant buzz that sounds like a choir of atonal bees.

 She doesn't move for a long time.

[fenton-bus]

Mike Hanlon

-Telepath/Extreme Empathic

-Seer of past lives and possible futures

-Joiner of all clubs, master of extra-curricular activities

-Overachiever

-Voracious consumer of literature

[fenton-bus]

Beverly Marsh

-Culture Shock

-Former Parsons student

-Fashion maven

-An Actual Adult

-Payer of bills, owner of a used Ugo

-Appreciator of the ecstasy and the agony of the Spanish Renaissance (See: Satan Devouring His Son, Swans Reflecting Elephants)

-Officially emancipated from her father and step-mother

-Was taken to juvie for protesting the closing of a Planned Parenthood in Tribecca

[fenton-bus]

Bill Denborough

-Down one brother

-Published his first novel at fourteen

-Attends the University of Maine

-Voted Most Likely To Drink Alone In His Dorm

-Wears lots of flannel

-Fired his speech therapist in front of his parents

- Financially independent

-Hates J.D. Salinger

[fenton-bus]

Ben Hascome

-Lego enthusiast

-Game Stop Gold Member

-Addicted to text-based video games

-Active member of numerous fandoms for which he (secretly) writes a prolific amount of fanfiction

-Frequent TV Tropes contributor

-Submits essays to The Onion and poetry/cartoons/captions to The New Yorker

-Loves the Bard

-Lives on campus

-A rich Inner Life

-Future architect

[fenton-bus]

I. ONE FINE DAY AU

II. ULTIMATE COLLEGIATE GRIEF AU

[fenton-bus]

Steve Rogers

Major: Criminal Justice

Interests: Justice, Far Cry IV, D&D, text-based video games, moderating high school debate tournaments on Williamsburg Cable Access, prison reform, crafting the kind of rebuttals that cause attention-starved twitter trolls to reevaluate their actions, motivations, and place in society, hairless cat adoption, working the phone lines at local crisis centers, supporting non-profits, participating in research trials for experimental adult acne medications.

Dislikes: Argumentative fallacies, ethics in journalism, the popularity of #givesteveaboyfriend among his mom's friend group, sleep.

[fenton-bus]

To Barry's absolute and frankly, well deserved horror Cisco quickly manages to distinguish himself as the most embarrassing element of karaoke night. What with the legions of drunken lacrosse alphas scream-singing Wrecking Ball and the septuagenarians taking generous helpings from the Two Chains catalogue, this is thought to be impossible, but for all their novelty and flair they lack what Cisco Ramon possesses in abundance: passion. His singing borders on tolerable. The performances however, ranging from Landslide to Blank Space are infused with the kind of emotional honesty most patrons find difficult to watch. On any given night his songs will be accompanied by miniature stand up routines, confessions of adoration for certain audience members, the imbibement of three to four cartons of chocolate milk, the recitation of anecdotes (typically centered around Barry's inability to dance, solve super easy algorithms, or talk to members of the opposite sex) and in one instance, an ill-fated attempt to pole dance on his mike stand during Britney Spears' 2008 classic Toxic.

And okay. Barry's cried over his taxidermy insect collection before. When asked for comment from The Scientific American his high school physics professor is quoted as saying he "feels more than healthy and should be allowed." But no one's ever had to like...intervene or anything. (That week and a half in junior year when Rob and Beth keep calling him into the den to talk about maybe scaling back on Minecraft for a little while is NOT an intervention. It's just a roomful of helpful suggestions and mutual respect.)

Sometimes, while Cisco is busy initiating a Mariah Carey-esque search for that elusive high note at the center of Drunken Love, Barry likes to construct causality chains.

Because Cisco believes in gathering his thoughts and ideas in one of sprawling, encompassing thesis basis both for posterity and as a reference tool, he spends a couple of days each summer writing his manifesto for the upcoming school year. Because nature is unrelenting and statistically, death could come at any moment, the sub heading of Section C in Article A of said manifesto is labeled "Things To Do Before I Die". Because the third item on that list is 3. Live a Shame Free Existence, Cisco takes up juggling and reenacts pivotal scenes from Die Hard with potato guns, and clocks roughly six hours per semester in a club famous for its tetanus scares/ occasional knife fights to caress a microphone while smirking at his roommate who despite having a thousand labs to do and a severe allergy to secondhand embarrassment finds himself sitting in the front row at a table for one silently swearing to God that he has to hear one more rendition of Poker Face, he's going to stab himself in the fucking sternum.

He can also do the reverse.

Because he's an idiot, he decides to forgo all of his safety schools and go to Berkeley. Because his roommate is the physical form Satan assumes during his Earthly visits whose one hundred and sixty-four days of cohabitation leads to some of the darkest, most passive aggressive Tumblr posts Barry has ever made, he'll be reassigned at the end of the year. Because one of the Tutan Hall RAs discovers Cisco's roommates is a fifteen year old Mensa member who comes for a campus visit eight months ago before decides he wants to stay forever, the housing board places Cisco at the top of the waiting list. Because Barry's an idiot, he clocks roughly sixty hours per semester in a club famous for its tetanus scares\occasional knife fights, despite having a thousand labs to do and a severe allergy to second hand embarrassment finds himself sitting in the front row at a table for one silently swearing to God if has to hear one more rendition of Poker Face he's going to stab himself in the fucking sternum.