#college!hwiyoung | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

milkybonya · 3 years ago

Text

love me without labels

warning: a little nsfw (it never goes further than making out, though !), mentions of alcohol/drinking, curse words, Hwiyoung calling you princess (in the most gender-neutral way)

pairing: playboy!college!Hwiyoung × never been loved!(gn)reader

summary: y/n is just a little sick of never having dated anyone or doing anything remotely similar, so they call upon their college's playboy to teach them just what it all feels like. and then they maybe sorta accidentally fall in love <3

word count: idk but it's 1k+ but definitely less than 5k maybe i think

[a/n]: btw i dont know how to kiss either so pls ignore anything thats wrong :")

[x]

another shitty day at your shitty college, sitting in the shitty front row of the shitty lecture hall. the prof who clearly doesn't want to be there any more than you do begins his boring lecture. his monotone voice makes you drowsy and you almost fall asleep... until you feel someone kicking you from behind.

snickers.

snickers follow the kicking when you turn around, as Hwiyoung and his cohort try to hold back their laughter, looking away from you. clearly, one of them kicked you. clearly, they're tryna mess with you.

you look forward at the prof, who somehow is noticing none of this even though you're right at the front. what's more surprising is that Hwiyoung is behind you, though, and not at the back of the lecture hall.

"can i help you?" you quietly ask the annoying people behind you.

"why are you glaring? go back to your nap, y/n," Hwiyoung spits out, laughing.

you shake your head and turn back to the front, unbothered. they're like this with everyone, annoying like school kids even though you're in your junior year of college now.

once class ends, you make your way out of there as quick as possible, overhearing one of Hwiyoung's friends saying, "clear signs that y/n lives a lonely life."

you scoff hearing that and roll your eyes, but you know it's true.

waiting for the bus, you watch as Hwiyoung leans against his huge, obnoxious motorcycle. he runs his fingers through his hair, holding his helmet with his free hand. you just know he knows people are watching and loves it. some pretty girl walks up to his and he hugs her in a way that suggests something more than friends... although, many of the people in his life are more than friends.

"Hwiyoung sleeps around with everyone, doesn't he?" you overhear someone also waiting for the bus saying.

"that's the 5th girl i've seen him with this week, and it's only Tuesday."

you shake your head, and right as you do, Hwiyoung meets your eyes. maybe you're imagining things, but you can swear he's looking at you when he throws you that smirk before riding off with that girl holding onto him.

hugging your pillow tightly, you fight back tears as another episode of your favourite k-drama ends. the two leads end this episode with a passionate kiss, and you squeeze your pillow.

when will that ever happen to me, you think, frowning.

your phone vibrates and you check who messaged you. it's your friend, sending you photos of them on a date with their s/o yet again. you groan at the horrible timing and let your body fall backwards onto your bed.

for some reason, Hwiyoung comes to mind. he must be having so much fun with that girl right now, you think.

to lighten your sour mood, you reach into your fridge for some drinks and start blasting some of your favourite happy songs. dancing the night away in the dark of your apartment, lit only by a few candles and your TV screen, you feel drunk as time passes.

luckily, you're on your own, so you won't make any mistakes, right?

hm, i wonder what Hwiyoung is up to, your drunken mind thinks. your drunken mind also tells you that it would be a great idea to text him right now.

HWiyoung! whats uo ?

y/n? why are you messaging me?

ok ridue. your're so mean

what's ridue? is everything okay?

okay? hah! since when have htings every been okay?

life sucks ! i';m so lovey nnnn i'im so loneoly,,,, i'm oloveby

okay, i have no clue what you're saying right now.

your phone slips out of your hands as it starts to ring, and you bend over to pick it up. Hwiyoung's calling, and you don't hesitate even for a moment before answering.

"y/n, can you tell me why you're messaging me like that?" he asks. "i'm busy right now, you know."

"yeah, with that bitch?" you spit out.

"what bitch? i guess you're right, cause i'm talking to a bitch on the phone right now, huh."

"fuck you!"

there's a moment of silence as Hwiyoung seems to realize what's happening.

"are you drunk right now, y/n?"

"drunk? what's that? krunk? hahaha!" you slur, falling onto your bed.

"listen, i don't know why you messaged me when you're drunk, but contact someone else to come help you out, okay?" Hwiyoung says before hanging up.

your phone falls to the ground again as you shut your eyes, falling asleep.

bzzzz. bzzzzz. bzzzzzzzzzzzz--

"y/n! wake up!" your friend screams into your ear when you finally answer his call.

"hm?"

"class is starting and attendance is mandatory, remember? we're watching our classmates present, today!" Taeyang tells you.

"oh, fuck!" you shriek, sitting up... but a splitting headache forces you back down onto the bed.

"you better come here in five minutes, or you'll lose a huge chunk of your grade," Taeyang says before hanging up.

he sounds just like a professor, you think to yourself.

for the sake of these free attendance marks, you manage to throw some clothes on, chug some water and fill your water bottle before leaving. you just know you look like a mess, but you couldn't care less right now.

you make it just in time, hobbling over to where Taeyang has saved a seat for you in the back.

"why do you look so... god, you smell like alcohol!" Taeyang whines.

"shut up," you groan, drinking from your water bottle.

"so you were drunk last night, huh y/n?" Hwiyoung asks, walking behind you to find a seat.

you ignore him and he smirks, continuing to walk past you.

"what the hell was that?" Taeyang asks.

"i don't know... all i know is that i need to find myself an s/o, 'cause i'm going insane."

Taeyang shakes his head at you.

"i have no clue what you're on about, and i don't even want to know."

that night, you're drinking again. this time, you're not drunk, sticking to only one can and something that has low alcohol content. it helps you think more clearly, and you wonder about what the solution to your lonely problem could be.

some people are fine with being single, but it's not that way for you. people make fun of you for it and it drives you insane, it's damaging your mental health and your grades are plummeting because of it. it may sound dramatic, but it seems like you can't do anything until you get an s/o.

why can't you get an s/o?

it has nothing to do with looks, nor personality. is it... your lack of experience? your lack of skill? but how can you gain any of those things without an s/o in the first place...

you gently pat your head, urging it to find an idea.

oh! Hwiyoung! Hwiyoung is the answer! as a notorious player, teaching you how to do something like kissing for example won't be a big deal, right? it's not like he's devoted to any one s/o... he's always sleeping around with anyone, so maybe you could turn yourself into one of those people to gain the experience you need to date?

your logic is a little insane, but it seems to work. with the alcohol in your system providing you with all the confidence you need, you send a message to Hwiyoung before shutting off your phone and heading off to bed, satisfied with yourself.

hey, Hwiyoung! firstly i'm sorry for drunk-texting you. i actually have a favour to ask. this is super absurd... i don't think i can even say it through text. could you come to my apartment tomorrow, saturday afternoon, so i can explain? my address is ________

the next morning, you wake up to the sun hitting your face. you sit up and stretch, checking your phone to see who texted you. there's a messaging from Hwiyoung saying he'll be there at 3.

huh? there's a message from Hwiyoung?!

you type out a message to say you've changed your mind, then delete it. it just wouldn't make sense for you to back out without even having told Hwiyoung what all of this was about.

you could always lie when he gets here and make up some other favour... but it just wouldn't make sense.

you're caught in a strange place and all you can do is wash up, eat breakfast and at least try to study before Hwiyoung gets there.

[a/n]: joker by big naughty fits this part really well and i just can't explain why.. it's like the soundtrack

the doorbell to your apartment rings and you jump off your desk, racing to open the door. you take a few deep breaths first, straighten your shirt and then enter.

"hi, y/n..." Hwiyoung says in a deep voice. he opts for awkwardly waving at you rather than hugging or shaking your hand, since he doesn't know you all too well.

he looks around your apartment right away when he steps inside and removes his shoes. this is all so y/n, even though i don't even know them that well, he thinks to himself.

"so what's the favour, princess?" he asks, sitting on your couch.

your ears twitch at the sudden pet name.

"well... why don't i grab you a drink first. do you want tea? coffee?" you ask, just trying to avoid the inevitable.

"coffee should do it," he says, leaning back.

you can't help but admire how good he looks as you make the coffee. his hair is slightly wet and very curly, sticking to his forehead because of the rain outside. his tight, black jeans don't miss a single curve of his legs, and the black leather jacket that he wears over his white t-shirt shines under the ceiling lights.

you suck in a breath and look away, returning to the coffee packets and mugs in your hands.

"here you go," you say, finally handing him a mug.

he thanks you and blows over the drink before taking a sip.

"now will you tell me what i'm here for?" Hwiyoung asks, eyeing you.

you scratch the back of your head, nervous but ready to just get it over with.

"yeah, so... i need you to teach me something. i'm not sure who else i can ask."

Hwiyoung raises an eyebrow at you, clearly intrigued.

you clear your throat and sit up straight, heart racing in your chest. hey, if this gets weird or he doesn't agree, you can just move on and avoid him for the rest of your life!

it won't be that easy, though.

you squeeze your eyes tightly shut.

"i need you to teach me... how to kiss," you mumble, hoping he heard you.

"how to kiss?" he repeats but louder.

you nod, avoiding his eyes, and he smirks at you.

"well where did you get that filthy idea from, princess? are you just tryna get in bed with me?" he asks, the tone of his voice low.

"no! no, i swear no! this is genuinely just.. kissing and nothing else!" you clarify.

he cocks his head to one side, still smirking at you.

"well, what's in it for me?"

you bite your lip. you hadn't thought that far...

"my grades are suffering. if you could help me with that, i'd appreciate it," Hwiyoung offers.

"tutoring? sure, i can definitely tutor you!" you agree.

Hwiyoung nods.

"are we starting right away today, or?" he asks.

your heart races at the thought, and you stay silent.

"okay, looks like you need some time. what day, when and where am i meeting you?" Hwiyoung asks.

"Same time, same place, same day of the week as today," you say.

He nods again, standing up to leave.

"sounds great. i'll see myself out, then, princess."

Hwiyoung leaves, his half empty coffee cup still steaming on the coffee table. you're left wondering how this all ended up working out.

exactly a week later, you're just the same. peacefully studying at your desk, or trying to, when the doorbell rings and you jump up to open the door. Hwiyoung looks the same, too. his hair still long and curled, his clothes still black leather jacket on white tee over black skinny jeans.

"am i teaching you first or are you teaching me first?" he asks, setting down his bag.

"i think it would be better for my anxiety if you taught me first," you say, knowing you wouldn't be able to focus on tutoring if you knew that Hwiyoung would be kissing you just moments later.

"okay.. are you fine with sitting on the couch?" Hwiyoung asks.

you nod, and the two of you sit beside each other. there's a huge gap between the two of you, and Hwiyoung chuckles.

"come closer. i can't just kiss the air, princess," he points out.

you shuffle forward 'til you're close enough.

"okay... so what exactly am i teaching you? the types of kisses? how to kiss?" Hwiyoung asks.

"how... to kiss," you mumble.

"okay, princess. so, have you kissed before?" Hwiyoung asks.

you shake your head, no, and he grins as you hang your head low.

"so i'll be your first kiss? is that... okay?"

you look up at him, a little shocked that someone like him is concerned about someone like that. nonetheless, you nod, yes.

"okay, well, when you kiss... you can't just go straight in, or your noses will hit each other's and that'll suck. you have to go in with your head tilted, like this."

naturally, Hwiyoung's hand reaches up to hold the back of your head. he draws close, tilting his head to demonstrate. his lips are just centimetres away from yours, but he doesn't let them touch. you let out a huge breath of air after he moves away. your heart was racing and he hadn't even kissed you, yet! so what would a kiss with Hwiyoung be like then?

"S-so... did you get that?" Hwiyoung falters, clearing his throat and hoping he won't stutter again.

something was off about that... something was off when he leaned in. immediately, he felt his face getting red and his heart hammering in his chest. that stuff never happens to him. maybe it's 'cause he's being put on the spot and asked to teach how to kiss?

"yeah, i got it," you mutter, nodding along.

"it's also helpful to do stuff with your hand. you noticed how i was holding the back of your head, right? stuff like that makes it better and more... enjoyable?"

"so i should hold the back of your head, too?" you shyly ask.

"only, if you want, princess. you can also hold the person's face or cheek or whatever, like this--"

Hwiyoung large, warm hand cups your left cheek. his thumb swipes back and forth over your face.

"doing something like this is good, t-too," Hwiyoung stutters yet again, blown away by how the contact of his hand and your soft face is making his heart race again.

he carefully pulls away, weirded out by his own emotions.

"what else?" you ask, eager to know more.

"uh... well some people also like to run their fingers through the other person's hair... or have their arms around the other person's shoulders, waist or neck. sometimes rubbing their back, sides... it's all up to you. i think it'll just come naturally to you in the moment when you figure it out, princess," Hwiyoung explains.

you nod, pressing your lips together.

"i'll try actually kissing you this time, if that's okay," Hwiyoung says.

you slowly nod.

"just close your eyes and try to follow me, okay? it's okay if it's messy or weird. you'll figure it out with time."

for some reason, Hwiyoung feels the need to be gentle with you. that's why he keeps clarifying, asking if you're okay, and taking things so slowly.

he holds your face in both hands and leans in... then he stops and lets out a laugh.

"close your eyes, princess. it's so much easier that way. and there's no need to pucker your lips like that."

you feel super embarrassed but do as he says, and this time, Hwiyoung properly closes the gap between the two of you.

his lips feel soft and magical on top of yours. your hands, which are at your sides, ball into fists as butterflies rage within you. so this is what it must feel like, you realize.

Hwiyoung finds himself stroking your cheeks with his thumbs as his lips are still pressed to yours. it's a completely unconscious gesture, and so is him gently tilting your head back to deepen the kiss. he feels your lips part as you let out a gasp, and he wastes no time in entering with his tongue, exploring the inside of your mouth.

he pulls back to chew on your bottom lip slightly before he realizes that he's completely gone overboard and he should probably stop, now. so, he slowly pulls away, your face still in his hands until he lets go.

the way you're glowing makes his heart race even faster, and so does the way your eyelids slowly flutter open.

"i-i'm really sorry, i went overboard--" Hwiyoung starts.

"is that what it's like?" you ask.

"hm?"

"is that what... kissing is like?"

"uh... yeah?"

you burst into a smile, touching your lips with your fingers. Hwiyoung's face becomes a mirror of yours, a smiling mess.

"i-i think it's best we stop here for the day, princess. can you tutor me now, instead?" Hwiyoung asks.

you nod, telling him you'll grab your notes from your room and will be back. in the meantime, Hwiyoung shakily reaches for his own things. he feels so weird... his heart has not stopped pounding and he wonders if it's some kind of health problem. his face and ears feel hot. he tries to remember if this has ever happened before with any of the other people he's been with... but no. perhaps it's just your shyness rubbing off on him!

when you come back, you help him go over the most important things: the units that will be on the upcoming tests. you kindly explain and re-explain anything that Hwiyoung doesn't understand, help him go through some practice problems, and even help him make a test review.

hours pass with the two of you studying like that, until you notice your living room has gone dark. the sun has set!

"oh... i should probably get going," Hwiyoung says, starting to pack up.

"but you didn't even eat anything! i'm so sorry--"

"no, it's okay, princess. you can feed me next time, okay? i'll be off," Hwiyoung says, standing up and quickly walking to your door.

you watch him open it and step out, closing it behind him.

during the week, at your classes, you and Hwiyoung act like strangers. it's only on those saturday afternoons that the two of you get intimate.

on another one of those afternoons, you're tugging at Hwiyoung's hair as he kisses you deeply. he lets out a moan right into your mouth before he breathlessly pulls away.

"princess, that... had no right to feel that good," he says, stroking his own hair and wondering why he felt so good when you pulled on it.

"that means i'm doing a good job, right?" you ask, smiling brightly.

"y-yeah."

"well let's move to the homework i gave you last week so i can see if you're doing a good job, too," you say.

Hwiyoung pouts slightly but still pulls out his work. you sit close to him as you explain, and he can't help but stare at your side profile as you talk.

"Hwiyoung? are you daydreaming again? i asked if you could explain how you got to this answer."

"a-ah, yeah..."

after another hour of tutoring him, Hwiyoung leaves your apartment. his legs feel weak as he walks towards the elevator. reaching for his chest, he feels his heart racing yet again. this really isn't good.

he pulls out his phone and asks to meet with an old friend of his.

"wait so... this person you didn't care for at all asked you to teach them how to kiss, and now you're catching feelings?!" Chani clarifies.

Hwiyoung puts down his glass, hard, onto the bar counter.

"no, i'm not catching feelings! i'm telling you i'm getting heart problems whenever i go there, and it's been getting worse," Hwiyoung explains.

"have you ever caught feelings before?" Chani asks his friend.

Hwiyoung blinks back in response, staying silent.

"exactly, so of course you wouldn't know that this is what it's like to catch feelings."

"no... it can't be. right?" Hwiyoung asks, taking a long sip of his drink.

"it definitely is. and you're telling me you're always sad when you have to stop kissing them, that every move they make drives you insane, even though they don't kiss you well. man, if that isn't catching feelings, then i don't know what is!"

"i don't know anything about them, though. i only see them on those saturday afternoons," Hwiyoung says.

"do you want to know more about them?"

"yeah," Hwiyoung mindlessly mutters.

"well, there you have it. you're literally whipped!"

"huh? wait, no--"

"just accept it, Hwiyoung. accept it and go learn more about them, already. i've been worried about you. you always fuck people without feeling a thing but pleasure. you've never cared for anyone except for your friends, and even then, all your friendships are fake except ours."

Hwiyoung tightly holds the glass in his hand. Chani's right, but it hurts.

"quit being a coward, okay? just see where your feelings take you!"

sat in your lecture hall, you scramble to copy Taeyang's notes. he watches over you, shaking his head.

"i can't believe you went to a party again this saturday and didn't get to do your work. firstly, you went without me, secondly, how do you keep going every single saturday?" he asks.

you tell him to shut up so you can finish writing, until a tall body approaches you, towering over you. when you look up, you meet eyes with Hwiyoung, who has a nervous expression on his face.

"hi, y/n. is the spot next to you taken?" he asks.

"yeah it--" Taeyang starts, but you cut him off.

"no! you can sit, if you'd like," you say.

Hwiyoung thanks you in a low voice and takes a seat, pulling out his stuff to start studying.

"wow, Hwiyoung is actually prepared for class? Shocking." Taeyang remarks.

"actually y/n has been tutoring--" Hwiyoung starts. you quickly cover his mouth with your hand.

"Hwiyoung's just changed, i guess!" you say, panicked.

Taeyang throws you a weird look, but doesn't question things any further. you move your hand away and mumble an apology to Hwiyoung, who just smirks at you.

once class starts, the three of you are silent as you focus on the lecture. Hwiyoung doesn't make a ruckus anymore, and you feel proud to see he's actually started to change after you began tutoring him.

"hey... wanna go to a place you like to grab some food?" Hwiyoung asks you once the lecture ends.

you don't know why he's suddenly attempting to befriend you, but you can't say no to him, either. Taeyang has to rush off to his next class, and you tell him you'll fill him in on things later. he throws you a wink before he leaves, and you yell at him to stop being so annoying.

"have fun getting laid," he whispers in your ear before running off.

Hwiyoung watches your interaction with Taeyang while smiling wildly. so this is how you treat your loved ones? this is how you joke around with your friends? why is his heart fluttering ?!

"let's go! i know a good off-campus place that's nearby," you declare.

you don't realize it, but a lot of people are watching you and Hwiyoung. some of them even try to take stealthy photos, too. Hwiyoung is used to this, but he doesn't want you to get hurt by the rumours that they'll probably be spreading.

he takes off his leather jacket and throws it on your head.

when you question him for that, he just says, "keep it on, princess. a lot of people are watching, and i don't want you to get hurt by any rumours they could spread about you."

you wear it like one of those runaways in a historical kdrama, who wears a robe over their head to hide themselves.

"should we just run?" you ask Hwiyoung, looking up at him.

he smiles slightly and nods. you don't even think about it when you reach for his hand and start to run, pulling him along with you. everyone on campus wonders who the daring person is that is pulling Hwiyoung along with intertwined fingers, and why and how you're making him smile so hard.

neither of you notice the stares anymore, though. even Hwiyoung is entirely fixated on you and the way you breathlessly laugh as you try to run to the place you were headed.

once you finally make it there and pull open the door, the two of you shake yourselves off and walk inside, still laughing. Hwiyoung then takes in the place you brought him too, trying to remember every detail.

the two of you talk over food as if you're normal friends, not strangers who would meet once a week to do each other favours. Hwiyoung asks you a lot of questions and the conversation never runs dry. he nods and listens carefully each time you answer, and you can imagine him jotting down your answers--that's how earnestly he listens to you.

you start to see him in a new light. not as the popular jerk of your campus anymore,, but as someone you maybe actually care for? and want to spend time with? yet you can't help but worry about if he even feels the same way at all.

by the time the two of you leave, it's dark outside. Hwiyoung offers to walk you home, but you say it's all good.

"call me when you get home at least, okay?" he asks as you walk further away.

you nod, but then wonder why he asked you to call and not text. still, you end up calling him, and your phone call with him lasts way past midnight.

he listens to you fall asleep, your answers turning into hums until all he hears are your soft breaths.

"sleep well, y/n," he says before hanging up.

Hwiyoung spends more time with you from that day on, and Taeyang is very suspicious. he notes the way Hwiyoung looks at you with genuine care and adoration, not the empty lust he'd usually look at people with.

"y/n... i think Hwiyoung likes you," Taeyang tells you one day in the library.

"what?!" you exclaim, almost dropping your bag that you had just picked up.

"he looks at you... in a certain way... like he loves you."

you shake your head at Taeyang, but secretly wonder if his words could hold any truth to them.

"hey, y/n! and Taeyang!" Hwiyoung greets you both.

Taeyang raises an eyebrow at you, probably trying to point out how Hwiyoung said your name first.

"ready to go?" Hwiyoung asks, and you both nod.

he had texted you saying he wants to take you both somewhere and that it's a surprise. you feel suspicious about all this, but you find it hard to say no to Hwiyoung.

you walk in between the two boys, listening to Taeyang's complaints about a professor for one of your classes. Hwiyoung slips his hand into yours, taking your hand with his into his pocket. when you look up at him, he simply smiles while looking at the ground.

butterflies rage within you and you furrow your eyebrows together, trying to get it to stop.

"everything okay, y/n?" Taeyang asks.

"y-yeah," you stutter in response.

Taeyang continues talking, Hwiyoung continues stealing glances at you while he holds your hand, and you continue trying to get the heart fluttering feeling in your stomach to stop.

"where are you taking us, Hwiyoung?" Taeyang asks.

Hwiyoung smirks, then says, "don't kill me, but i'm taking you to a party. a lot of my old friends are there, and honestly i'm just a bit sick of them. i'd rather hang around with you two..."

"well then you could've ditched the party and we couldv'e went elsewhere?" Taeyang points out.

Hwiyoung shakes his head and says, "no, they'll kill me if i don't show up. you'll do me this one favour, right?"

Hwiyoung starts rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb, and you feel electricity all over your arm. your breath hitches in your throat and you can't think clearly.

"well... if y/n's okay with it," Taeyang says.

Hwiyoung looks at you with an expression that you can't resist... and that's how you end up at a loud house party. it's not a place you'd usually be at.

Taeyang gets drunk just 20 minutes in and joins the people who are dancing in the livingroom, leaving you and Hwiyoung to yourselves. Hwiyoung keeps you close, your arms looped. you, on the other hand, keep a close eye on Taeyang.

"are you worried about him?" Hwiyoung asks, concern on his face.

you nod, and Hwiyoung calls over one of his friends.

"Chani! can you do me a favour? can you keep an eye on that boy right there?"

Hwiyoung's friend, Chani, rolls his eyes but walks over to the livingroom, taking over the dj booth and watching over Taeyang.

"is that okay?" Hwiyoung asks.

you nod, but still feel slightly uneasy.

"are you okay?" Hwiyoung asks, pulling you closer.

you don't know how to respond. you're not sure if it's because you're pressed this close to Hwiyoung that you feel so warm or because it's so packed in this house.

Hwiyoung's lips curl into a tight smile.

"i'll just say hi to a few more people and then we can leave, okay? they'll be too drunk to even notice we're gone," Hwiyoung says.

you pout at him but still follow his lead as he introduces you to people that you doubt you'll ever remember later. his introductions lead you to a bedroom where a few people are talking.

"your s/o?" someone asks Hwiyoung, looking at you.

he smiles in response but doesn't say anything. it makes you feel uneasy.

"well, we're off for some more drinks. you can have this room to yourselves," Hwiyoung's friend says before the group of people leave.

you and Hwiyoung are left alone in that room, all to yourselves.

"well... we should leave, now," Hwiyoung says, moving towards the door.

yet something within you makes you stop him. you reach out to pull on his sleeve.

"Hwiyoung... i need to make something clear," you say, "what are we? what's going on with us? we stopped meeting on weekends to... do whatever we were doing before and now we're acting like friends... but suddenly you take hold of my hand like it's nothing?"

you feel relieved getting all of this off your chest. it's all been like an itch, bothering you in the most lowkey of ways but eventually making you lose your cool.

"we.. can be whatever you want us to be, princess," Hwiyoung says in a low voice, taking your hand in his.

"but what do you want us to be?"

"i don't know. i'm not fond of labels and i don't really get them, but i just want to be close to you, princess. i want to listen to you, be here for you and have you at my side at all times."

you blink at him as he speaks, and he smiles.

"i want this, too," he says before he suddenly presses his lips to yours.

as if you've been yearning for this, your instincts immediately take over. your mouth knows to follow his lead, your hands know to gently pull on and stroke Hwiyoung's hair, and you still feel just as many butterflies as you always have.

you pull away for a second to catch your breath, and you meet Hwiyoung's eyes. like Taeyang told you, there's something different about them. they sparkle and you can see yourself inside them.

you're about to lean in again, but Hwiyoung gently stops you.

"i'm scared i'll take things too far, so let's stop here, princess" he almost whispers, pressing a kiss to your forehead before guiding you out of the room.

you feel dazed as he guides you out, calling a drunk Taeyang over and helping him walk as the three of you head back to campus to part ways. all you can think about is how you know exactly what you and Hwiyoung are, but at the same time, you know nothing at all.

with Taeyang safely home, Hwiyoung walks you home, and it's then that you muster up the courage again to clarify things once more.

"Hwiyoung... do you... like me?" you ask.

he takes a hand out of the pocket of his jeans and uses it to grab hold of one of yours.

"i guess so," he says.

his lack of confidence makes you uneasy, yet again.

"does this mean we're lovers?" you ask.

"do you want us to be?" Hwiyoung asks back, looking at you.

you nod, yes, and he smiles, patting your head.

"then we're lovers, 'til death do us part," Hwiyoung says, dramatically.

both of your laughs fill up the night and Hwiyoung swings his arm in yours, pulling you closer.

well, this isn't the happy ending you'd imagined. your first 'relationship' isn't even a proper relationship at all, but you've still got someone to love and be loved by, right?

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dystoopia · 5 years ago

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SF9 1st PHOTO BOOK

#sf9 #or the title should be #sf9 as college boys #soft college boys #youngbin #rowoon #chani #dawon #jaeyoon #inseong #zuho #hwiyoung #taeyang #mine:sf9

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forehead-enthusiast · 5 years ago

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Stop, my love, don’t move- Let me capture the masterpiece you are.

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amb-ads · 2 years ago

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«── « ⋅ʚ 𝖶𝖤𝖫𝖢𝖮𝖬𝖤 𝖯𝖤𝖳𝖠𝖫𝖲 ɞ⋅ » ──»

𝖺𝗆𝖻𝗋𝗈𝗌𝗂𝖺 𝗎𝗇𝗂𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗌𝗂𝗍𝗒 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝖻𝗎𝗂𝗅𝗍 𝗂𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗅𝗒 𝟤𝟢𝟢𝟢’𝗌, 𝖺 𝗇𝖾𝗐, 𝗌𝗆𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗎𝗇𝗂𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗌𝗂𝗍𝗒 𝗂𝗇 𝖺 𝗅𝗂𝗍𝗍𝗅𝖾 𝗍𝗈𝗐𝗇 𝗂𝗇 𝗌𝗈𝗎𝗍𝗁 𝗄𝗈𝗋𝖾𝖺 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖼𝖺𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗈𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗎𝗇𝗂𝗊𝗎𝖾 𝗌𝗍𝗎𝖽𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗐𝖾𝗅𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾𝖽. 𝗐��𝗍𝗁 𝗆𝖺𝗇𝗒 𝗆𝖺𝗃𝗈𝗋𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗈𝗋𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝖼𝗁𝗈𝗈𝗌𝖾 𝖿𝗋𝗈𝗆, 𝖺𝗆𝖻𝗋𝗈𝗌𝗂𝖺 𝖼𝖺𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗌 𝗂𝗍𝗌𝖾𝗅𝖿 𝗍𝗈 𝗂𝗍’𝗌 𝖻𝖾𝖺𝗎𝗍𝗂𝖿𝗎𝗅 𝗀𝖺𝗋𝖽𝖾𝗇𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖿𝗅𝗈𝗋𝖺 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗌𝗎𝗋𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗇𝖽𝗌 𝗂𝗍. 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖽𝖾𝖽𝗂𝖼𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖾𝗇𝗏𝗂𝗋𝗈𝗇𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍 𝖺𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗇𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗆, 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗒 𝗍𝖺𝗄𝖾 𝖼𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝗌𝗍𝗎𝖽𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗌 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖿𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗁𝖾𝗌𝗍, 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗆𝗈𝗌𝗍 𝖻𝖾𝖺𝗎𝗍𝗂𝖿𝗎𝗅 𝖿𝖾𝖾𝗅𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌. 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝖺𝗇𝗒𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗈 𝗀𝖾𝗍 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝖻𝗎𝗌𝗒 𝗅𝗂𝖿𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖿𝗈𝖼𝗎𝗌 𝗈𝗇 𝖻𝗎𝗂𝗅𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝖼𝖺𝗋𝖾𝖾𝗋𝗌, 𝖺𝗆𝖻𝗋𝗈𝗌𝗂𝖺 𝗂𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗉𝗅𝖺𝖼𝖾 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗒𝗈𝗎.

⋅ʚ FIND US HERE ɞ⋅

#ambrosiakrp: ads #krpnet #krpnetads #mewe roleplay #au roleplay #college based #sf9 #hwiyoung

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seungkwanslowqualityenglish · 7 years ago

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Cats

Who: Hwiyoung

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 372

Trigger Warning: None really.

Halloween drabbles. Cats.

“Babe, you gotta believe me, I got the perfect idea of what we could do for Halloween.” Hwiyoung’s voice spoke out, as he speed up, trying to match how fast you were walking. “It’s a great idea.”

Sighing, you ignored him, his great ideas for Halloween kept ending up cat related. “I swear if you say cats, catwoman, kittens, or anything cat related one more time as a suggestion, you will be finding a new girlfriend to spend Halloween with.” You told him, before continuing on your way to his house.

What you said took him by surprise, since of course his idea was cat related. “But babe, we could look so cute with matching costumes and all.” He replied.

“If you want to be a cat so badly, why don’t you just spend Halloween with your cat, Panda or whatever.” You told him back, as you finally made it to his house.

As he unlocked the door, he looked back at you. “My cat’s name is Pandi not Panda.” Hwiyoung said, sounding offended as he let you into the house first.

“Oh, Pandi, my bad, we still aren’t doing a cat related costume.” You said. “Cat costumes are for people that waited until the day of Halloween to make an outfit and children. I am neither and you are neither.” You heard Hwiyoung sigh once more, trying to keep yourself from laughing, since he hadn’t thought you’d be against his ideas.

Wrapping an arm around your waist, Hwiyoung pulled you close. “How about this, we forgo the parties and just stay here, then you don’t have to think of a costume and we can cuddle and watch your favorite movies.”

As you looked up at him, it was a good idea, unlike the rest of his ideas. “You know, that’s not as bad of an idea like the ones you usually suggest.” You jokingly said. “But you know I can’t resist your cuddles.” You added, before leaning up and kissing his cheek softly. “But we aren’t watching any movie about cats.”

“Babe.” Hwiyoung whined, before he kissed your forehead. “Fine, no cat movies, but I get to pick snacks.”

At his words, you nodded, before kissing his cheek once more. “Deal.”

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key201303 · 3 years ago

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Pairing: undercover!Hwiyoung x fem!reader ft. Sf9 members as mafia members

Warnings: mentions of death, guns, smut, suggestive content, mentions of blood, mentions of a murder, swearing, brief mentions of an anxiety attack (?)

Word count: 1550 words

Genre: Mafia AU, angst, fluff from time to time, smut/suggestive content

Plot: being the daughter of a dealer wasn't easy, especially when he had so many debts and was now dead. Ever since your dad passed away, you've been paying his debts with your own life and body but fortunately that is about to change when a charming boy appears out of the blue to save you. But, is he going to give you a better life or you're just changing the location of your doom? Is he trying to protect you from others or does he also want to use you like an exchange currency like everyone else did?

A/N: Here's the update of this week!! Things are starting to get more and more tense 👀 plus our boys are starting to appear 👀

Taglist -> @staysstrays @grungiejaems @io-is-lame @ailoveyuta @jaysbestie @slut-for-fandoms @forevrglow (ask me to be added!)

Unable to tag -> @i-sa-bella @user127dream

Previous chapter - - - Masterlist - - - Next chapter

“You can grab my arm if you want, those heels look great on you but they are definitely big enough for you to tumble.” Rowoon said, getting out of the luxurious blue car he drove until you arrived at the luxurious hotel where the party he lowkey obliged you to attend was taking part. You ignored his comment, not really wanting to actually start another argument like you have been doing ever since you started being with him. You knew you were complaining about the whole situation pretty much but after all he did, the least you could do was complaining. Especially with that specific feeling he left a few hours ago when he announced you were going with him to that party. A feeling full of hate and disgust, not only towards him but towards everything and anything related to his being. You also knew it hasn’t been that much time since your dad was murdered and since you are with him, but you swore it felt like you have been living under his power for ages, feeling like a weak and simple slave for him. He has been trying so hard to sound friendly and make you feel like a normal person instead of a toy or a slave but you knew pretty well that if you did something he didn’t like he wouldn’t hesitate about killing you. He has demonstrated it pretty well when he ordered Jaeyoon to shoot your dad and Jaeyoon warned you quite a lot a few days ago when you went with him to the shopping centre. That was why you promised you would act out all your emotions, to protect you and your ring. For some reason you have noticed the two boys have been pretty focused on the ring that shone on your finger ever since they landed their eyes on it. You had no idea what was the reason for that behavior but you knew that you had to protect the ring at all costs, especially after remembering the words your dad said when he gave you the little box that contained the ring and the little key you had been saving in a safe place ever since then.

The cold air of the air conditioner inside the big reception room of the building knocked you out of your thoughts, making you shiver slightly as you grabbed Rowoon’s arm just like he demanded a few minutes ago. You had to admit the place was mesmerizing. Expensive and beautiful lamps were hanging on the ceiling above your heads with blinking little crystals. You bet it costs more than your entire house and college tuition in case you attended college. The walls were decorated with vintage paper and photos of who you guessed were important people. The floor was covered with a soft and perfectly ironed red carpet and right in front of the door there were huge stairs with a golden and luxurious railing and a bit more of the red carpet that led to what you guessed were the rooms. You could see through a huge window placed on your right, a huge fountain in the garden, making a beautiful lighting show as some random music was being played. “Good night Sir.” A waiter's voice talking to Rowoon knocked you out of your thoughts. He was offering you both a cup of what you thought was champagne. You didn’t have in mind drinking alcohol throughout the night, but seeing how long the night would be next to the boy standing next to you, you decided to gladly take the cup and drink the beverage like it was a shot. “Whoa I see you’re a hard-drinker.” Rowoon said, still not drinking his champagne and looking at you with that disgusting smirk you hated so much. “I’m only a hard-drinker when I hate the place or company.” You said, letting your bratty side come out for a little. You had to admit you lowkey enjoyed being a bit bratty with him from time to time, just to annoy him the same way he annoyed you. “Make sure to not get drunk baby girl, I don’t want to bear with your bratty drunk ass for the rest of the night.” He whispered into your ear, sending chills down your spine. If he were someone attractive that made you feel some kind of way and if you two were in a random club, you would have thought those chills were because he was turning you on. Unfortunately, those chills were because of hate and not love, the same chills that ran down your spine a few hours ago when you were at home and he grabbed your hand.

“Look who we have in here. I thought you wouldn’t deign to appear.” A male voice sounded on your back, making you and Rowoon turn around confused. You turned around to find 4 boys standing behind you, waiting for Rowoon to give them a friendly answer. Were they also part of his group of friends? “Oh! Nice to see you again, Youngbin.” Rowoon said, stretching his hand out waiting for Youngbin to answer with his hand as well. “What brings you here?” The boy you guessed was Youngbin said, stretching his hand with Rowoon’s. You could feel knives coming out from both of the boys’ eyes, making clear they weren’t as friendly as you thought. That Youngbin looked pretty cool and chill, unlike the tall boy standing next to you. His red hair catching your attention as soon as your eyes landed on him and his summerish clothes giving off a chill vibe making you curious about his personality. “Just wanted to have some social life, you know.” Rowoon answered. “Oh, how rude of me, good night madam.” Youngbin said, talking towards you, knocking you out of your thoughts. His hand was extended before your eyes, waiting for you to grab it and greet him. You just bowed your head a little bit and grabbed his hand shyly. “I’m Youngbin and these are my boys, Chani, Taeyang and Dawon.” He added, grabbing your hand tightly and firmly and introducing the other four boys that accompanied him who gave you a soft smile. Finally, after days living on a nightmare, you could see a sincere smile, something you have secretly missed quite a lot. You couldn’t help returning the smile, not even noticing how Youngbin kept an eye on your ring and how Rowoon started to get more and more mad at the other boy grabbing your hand. “Such a beautiful ring, may I ask where you could find it?” Youngbin said, knocking you out of your thoughts once again. “My dad-.” You started to say. “Why are you so interested in a simple ring? I didn’t know you had a girlfriend.” Rowoon cut you off, clearly annoyed and grabbing your hand to take it in his and remove Youngbin’s hand from yours. You looked at him with angry eyes. Who did he think he was to treat you like that? Who did he think he was to cut you off while you were talking? “What? Are you jealous? Is she anything for you?” Youngbin said with a cocky smile, knowing the tall boy was annoyed and obviously enjoying the situation. “Well, she's my new… girl." Rowoon said, pulling you closer to his body. The moment those words escaped his lips you couldn’t help it anymore. You could deal with his arrogant personality, you could deal with his stupid comments on everything he said, you could even deal with him calling you stupid pet names. But you will never deal with him introducing you to others as his ‘new girl’. Once again, all those negative feelings you felt a few hours ago while trying on the clothes you had to buy, took over your body. “Excuse me, I need to go to the restroom for a moment.” You said, taking Rowoon’s hand from your shoulder, walking towards the bathroom as fast as you could without raising suspicion of something wrong going on.

As soon as you entered the room, you quickly closed the door behind you and ran towards the sink. Why did this have to happen to you? What have you done wrong in your life to deserve this? Was this some kind of punishment from God for not eating vegetables when you were a kid? Was this some kind of hidden camera? Was it a nightmare? You couldn’t understand why you had to go through such terrible situations. First your dad’s death and now this asshole calling you ‘his girl’. For a slight second you hated yourself so damn much. Suddenly you felt terribly bad and all you wanted to do was to cut off your hand so he could never touch it again. You wanted to disappear into the thin air just so he could never again call you his girl. You felt tears streaming down your face and it made you even more frustrated. You knew he wasn’t worth your tears but the impotence you were feeling was too overwhelming to hold back the tears that have been leaving your eyes in the past few days. “Hey, are you okay?” A male voice you couldn’t recognize knocked you out of your own anxious bubble.

P. S: Will Hwiyoung be the boy knocking on the bathroom door? 👀

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restlessmaknae · 3 years ago

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messy hearts, messy chords

➳ You just happen to be at the wrong place in the wrong time; meaning that you get punched in the face instead of someone else in a literal band battle, but it’s not only you who’s hurting that night.

♪ Characters: punk-rock band member!Yeonjun x reader/you

♪ Genre: punk-rock musician au, band au, angst, slow-burn

♪ Words: 10k

♪ A/N: I had the idea for this story about a year ago, but with 0X1=Lovesong coming out and having punk-rock band vibes, I was hit with all the inspiration I needed! Hope you love it just as much as I do! 💖

♪ P.S.: If you’re curious about the other band that’s mentioned in the story, you can check out Ten’s, Juyeon’s or Hwiyoung’s story here, but it’s optional. They are only loosely connected, so all the stories can be read on their own. 💖

♪ Click here to be added to the TAGLIST and to let me know about your fic preferences. 💖

Choi Yeonjun often thought that life was like a chess game: full of black and white spots, wise and well-thought decisions mixed in with abrupt, desperate ones, and when one was about to believe that they would win the round, the opponent made a devastating move, and there was no hope of winning for a long time ‒ or more like, forever. Yeonjun found himself on the ground so many times, won over by the evil twists of fate, darkness engulfing him, that he didn’t know whether he would be able to win any round, whether he even wanted to.

He had been a loser whom no one had wanted. He had been an orphan because his parents had left him behind without any explanation when he had been 3, so he had no recollection of his parents (maybe it was for the better now). He had been adopted by a couple when he had been 13, but it had soon turned out that the couple had wanted a perfect, well-behaving son who would make the family name proud, not a hopeless kid who had never been interested in studying, not even daring to hope to make it into college, so why care about studying?

His adoptive parents had fought more than they had talked gently to each other, and slowly, he had realised that it had been better if he had just pretended that he hadn’t heard them or hadn’t taken notice of the tension between the two of them. The only reason they had let him stay had been because of the supplementary money the government had given them for raising an orphan, and the only reason he had stayed had been because he had had nowhere else to go, and he hadn’t turned an adult yet. After he had turned an adult, he had planned how and when to move out, but what he had earned while having a part-time job during his high school days hadn’t been enough for a fresh start, so he had needed to wait and work even more.

The only ray of hope in his life had been music. He had learned how to play the guitar at the orphanage because some kid had left a guitar behind, and he had learned the basics from another kid, then he had self-taught himself when he had gotten out of the orphanage. He had found it easier to write his feelings out in lyrics than in journals, and he hadn’t even dared to think about his voice being any good, but his high school music teacher had been so pleased with him that she had made him join the choir. That’s where he had met Beomgyu and Hueningkai, the ones with whom he had created Gen Z Tragedy, a punk-rock band singing about the struggles of their generation, Hueningkai being their drummer, Beomgyu their bassist and back vocalist and Yeonjun being the lead vocalist and rhythmic guitarist.

Initially, Yeonjun hadn’t wanted to give in, but his adoptive parents hadn’t cared about him by that point anyway, so he could have easily sneaked out to band practices. Luckily, the other two guys’ parents had been supportive, and Hueningkai’s father had been a musician, so they had had a studio where they could have practiced and recorded songs.

He had never dared to dream big or to hope for a bright future because a part of him had always been afraid of losing, of failure, of the bittersweet twists and turns of destiny, but with Gen Z Tragedy, he had dared to hope. His hopes were crushed one more time when it turned out that their newly accepted bassist had lied to them, betraying his previous band.

“Look, let me explain!”

Jung Wooyoung’s pleading was very much necessary given that the Gen Z Tragedy members including Hueningkai, Beomgyu and Yeonjun had to learn that Wooyoung had been a part of a previous band for five years, and he had left them behind to join Gen Z Tragedy ‒ meaning that he had left without a proper explanation, the other band getting to know about his audition once he had passed.

Yeonjun snorted, the kind of snort that was both frustrated and angry. Despite Hueningkai’s seemingly calm demeanor and Beomgyu’s quiet suspicion, Yeonjun knew that they both felt the same way: they felt betrayed. As the oldest and the leader of the band, he felt like it was his responsibility to make things clear. Even if it meant having an argument in front of a handful of other people; eager eyes at the bar where they had been previously against four other instrumental bands, hoping to win a local band battle. Now it seemed that they had more important issues than being concerned about missing a beat or winning over their rivals ‒ one of those rivals being Wooyoung’s previous band: Rebel Rhapsody.

“You know, we didn’t ask a lot of questions when we held the audition because we didn’t want to get too personal,” Yeonjun started, his voice dangerously low and raspy. “I know all too well that it could get too burdensome, so we didn’t want to know who raised you or what shaped you as a person. Yet, I believe it’s basic decency to tell people you would want to trust you something like leaving behind a band, and choosing us over them.”

Yeonjun could feel his voice rising, but he didn’t want to hold himself back. Not when he had been kicked to the ground, being trampled upon, and fooled too many times. He hadn’t given away his trust as easily as if it had been a free sample at a beauty story. His heart was frozen, and only his band members could get close to melting it, but now Wooyoung had just managed to break a part of the icy surface, forever leaving a scar.

“Look, I just wanted to start afresh.” Wooyoung held his hands up high as if he was trying to defend himself from a physical fight, then let his hands fall by his side when he saw nothing but Yeonjun’s unwavering gaze and stiff body. “I wanted to make it big, and you guys seemed like a good fit for my ambitions. Or you don’t actually want to make it big? Is winning this local band battle the biggest dream of yours?”

Hueningkai’s eyes widened in shock, the ever so joyful smile long erased from his now solemn expression. Beside him, Beomgyu looked like he was about to say something, but he gazed in their leader’s direction before doing so, and Yeonjun’s facial expression made him stop dead in his tracks. The boy was fuming, fury painting wrinkles across his forehead, his lips trembling ‒ a warning that he was trying to contain whatever that was going through his body, but he was close to erupting.

That’s how they stood face to face in the mass of the crowd, some curious eyes still trained on them while others had already left the scene, assuming that it was more of their personal matter than theirs. Yeonjun wished that the Rebel Rhapsody members would have been there to witness just what kind of a boy their previous member was ‒ to not feel any remorse over his lack of participation because he wasn’t worth it. He was too selfish and greedy for his own good.

“It’s not about what we want to do in the future, but about how you left a band behind. Is this what awaits us when we are no longer what you want to use for your own selfish purposes?” Yeonjun exclaimed, taking a step closer to the boy. “Is it really that easy for you to abandon someone?” Another step closer. “Do you not care how much damage you may leave behind? How much pain?” He was so close to Wooyoung by this point that he could see the curls of his eyelashes, and he could see the tremble of the boy’s lips. He was no longer the confident, goofy boy. He was at his guillotine, waiting for his verdict, but instead of begging for a second chance, he let out a sinister laugh.

A laugh that seemed like the final bullet into the boy’s already destroyed heart. There was no more place for wounds for it was full of holes already, not even half of it was left untouched. He was bleeding out dry, and Wooyoung wasn’t even trying to stop the bleeding.

“So what now? Do you want to make me go back to my previous band, asking for their forgiveness? I’ve thought you don’t want to get too personal,” he repeated the boy’s previous words, and he was purposefully riling Yeonjun up, he could feel it from the way the twitches in his lips weren’t out of fear, but of mockery. He was unbelievable. Just because he had grown up with a silver spoon in his mouth, he shouldn’t have taken everything for granted, and he shouldn’t have belittled people’s feelings and their commitments to each other.

“If you want to be the cause of your own misery, so be it! But don’t you drag others down with you,” Yeonjun spitted furiously, his rage going off the roof, and with one abrupt thought, he lurched himself forwards and punched the boy in the face.

Or so he thought.

Wooyoung must have been expecting that punch because he quickly stepped sideways, so whom he actually punched was a very much dumbfounded girl: you. You were just trying to maneuver yourself between the sweaty bodies, leaving work after your shift had ended as a waitress, not paying too much attention to the conversations around you, not even when it got particularly heated.

So maybe that was partly your fault and partly that guy’s who had managed to avoid being punched in the face, but it didn’t mean that it hurt any less.

“Damn. Are you okay?” The pitch-black haired boy who had managed to punch you judged by the way he was so quick to go up to you inquired, eyes ‒ that were just as dark as his hair and his whole aura ‒ shining out of worry. Two boys by his side were seemingly just as concerned as he was, the slightly curly-haired one even having a hand over his heart and the other at his mouth as if he had nearly gotten a heart attack.

“Yeah, sure,” you said automatically, but when you reached for your nose and held your fingers in front of your face, you could see blood dripping from your hands, and you shivered at the sight.

“Should we get some ice?” The third boy ‒ one who looked like a manga character with his almost shoulder-length raven hair ‒ was quick to suggest, but you merely waved off his assistance. You were fine, the bleeding would probably stop soon. Not to mention that you really wanted to leave as soon as possible. If this conversation was this heated, you were better off outside anyway.

“I’m fine, really. Continue what you’ve started.” You gestured frantically in their direction, and seeing the little crowd that had already gathered around them (around you), you were ever so quick to leave the scene.

You didn’t even look back while they were calling after you, asking you to stop, but once you were finally outside, you couldn’t keep up your big girl confidence. You reached into your bag, immediately getting hold of two tissues and trying to clean up the mess around your nose. You didn’t feel like it had broken because it wasn’t that painful, it was actually more than bearable, but it was definitely not a pleasant feeling. The boy’s punch must have been well-directed, so he must have been really angry at the other smug-looking one who hadn’t looked like he had been even a tiny bit concerned about you. You had no idea why they had been fighting, but you couldn’t hold a grudge against the one with the pitch-black hair and the pitch-black eyes because he had seemed way more considerate than the other.

Unfortunately, you didn’t really calculate having to look at yourself while cleaning up the blood, and you didn’t want to go back to the bar’s bathroom, so you used your phone’s selfie mode to help you out. You were managing just well when you heard footsteps behind you that were getting closer, and then a voice accompanying them:

“Hey! Please, don’t leave!” The earlier raspy voice asked desperately, and you swung around, facing the boy who came to a halt in front of you. You blinked up at him, both in shame and embarrassment. The last thing you wanted was for him to feel like he had committed a grave sin, and he needed to take care of you.

“Let me help with that…” He offered, as expected, the gentleness in his tone in drastic comparison to the eternal darkness in his bottomless orbs.

“No, it’s okay.”

“But..” He protested, but you shook your head, not wanting to burden him further. It seemed like he had become caught up in something far worse than your punch, so you didn’t want him to feel bad for you. He looked way too sad already.

“It’s really okay,” you repeated with a hopefully convincing smile, but it wasn’t enough because the boy practically bellowed in the next second:

“Let me just fix my damn mistake!” His voice was desperate, guilt and hurt and remorse lacing his words. His exclamation shook you to the core, and when he caught sight of the fear in your eyes, he took a step back. “Sorry. I… I’m just so used to things not going my way that when I can help it, I desperately want to find a way to make things right.”

From the way he looked and said so, you couldn’t even question his words. He wouldn’t have snapped at you like that if it had been only about being polite. No. He really did want to make things right, he desperately tried to hold onto it: the hope of things turning out better, of the future being brighter than the darkness that he was.

“Okay,” you croaked out, reaching the tissues out to him, so he could help you clean up the blood. The boy’s shoulders dropped in ease, and he took a step closer to you, working diligently on cleaning up the mess. His touches were gentle and a bit hesitant, but he wasn’t wavering or halting ever so frequently, so you had nothing to complain about. Even if he was close to you, he didn’t make it inappropriate, he was only focusing on the area around your nose, he didn’t even look you in the eye.

“I’m truly sorry. I should have been more careful, you really shouldn’t have ended up receiving that punch. I’m really sorry,” he broke the silence after about a minute, and his apology was like a bitter medicine for he shouldn’t have been apologising so much for something like this.

“That other guy seemed to deserve it. Seeing how he didn’t show any remorse, I hope you actually punched him in the face after I left,” you mused out loud, your tone indicating that you weren’t angry at him, and you hoped that he would take it lightly as well.

“I did.” He nodded solemnly, his attention still on your face.

“That’s enough of a fix for your mistake, I guess,” you remarked kindly, and that’s when his lips curled upwards a tiny bit. Not more, not less. It was enough for you though, truly hoping that the guilt would leave his face soon.

The jet-black haired boy finished up in the meantime, throwing away the bloody tissues into the nearby trash can. That’s when he dared to look back at you, like really look at you, and you chose this time to show your gratefulness.

“Thank you,” you confessed sincerely, but either he didn’t believe that he should have been thanked, or he didn’t want to acknowledge the words because his next question didn’t indicate that he truly believed you.

“Let me repay you with something… lunch maybe? Dinner? A coffee?” He suggested, his voice still a bit raspy and deep. It was as if even his tone had been shaped by whatever that had happened in the past. He could have been merely emotional or bitter, but there was something more behind his cold facade: something that was still destroying him from the inside.

“I-” You immediately wanted to protest, but the sadness in his eyes held you back. You thought of his previous outburst, of how he was ever so desperate to fix things, and decided to let him be. “Okay, that sounds alright,” you gave in, suggesting to exchange contacts, so that you could decide on a date and place to meet.

Truth to be told, you didn’t know what else to say to the boy because you didn’t think that you had any right to ask about what had happened back there in the bar that had made him so furious, and he didn’t seem to know what to say either. So you bid your goodbye to him, telling him that you should catch the next bus, and he mumbled something about having to go back to his band members, so you parted ways just as abruptly as you had crossed them earlier that night.

The jet-black haired boy’s name was Yeonjun, and judging by his Kakaotalk profile and his last words to you that night, he was in one of those bands who had performed at the bar. His profile photo was probably taken in a studio because a drum set, three guitars and three microphones were shown with the name ‘Gen Z Tragedy’ in the middle as if it had been an album cover. However, when you next contacted him, his profile photo was changed to one with him, the manga-like boy and the curly-haired one from the bar, the three of them in front of an abandoned building.

You indeed searched them up and found their Youtube channel, social media sites and even a website where one could see that they were about to release their first album soon. You wondered whether his previous profile photo should have been their album cover, but you didn’t want to ponder over the matter since there was no trace of the newly joined smug-looking boy on any of their sites. Could they have wanted to introduce him with the album? Or was the local band battle where they had shown him to the public for the first time?

Anyways, you had a feeling that whatever had happened that night had an impact on the band’s line-up, but since you were more interested in their music, you decided to check out a few of their covers online, some by Western bands like All Time Low, the 1975, the Arctic Monkeys and some by Korean instrumental bands such as DAY6 and The Rose. They had also uploaded a few of their original tracks, and what you had been able to tell from them was that they had raw, sincere songs about growing up, meeting society’s expectations, finding one’s identity and losing hope over and over again. Themes that could have been engraved into Yeonjun’s skin like battle scars, ones that you could easily imagine him singing about with that aura of his. Since you had not paid much attention to the performers while you had been working at the bar, the songs hit harder than you expected, but it was in the best way possible. Their songs were the farthest from artificial, and you appreciated that.

So you could say that you had checked his band out before you met again, but it didn’t mean that you wanted to behave differently around him. In fact, you felt like a layer of understanding had grown between the two of you, it was just that he didn’t know about it until you sat down in an art café, sipping on your choice of drink. You had a caramel latte while he had iced Americano, the contrast between your choices representing you two perfectly.

The atmosphere was awkward at first, he clearly didn’t think it through when he had suggested paying you back because he was quiet apart from the initial greetings and small talk questions, but since it had been him who had suggested this place, you decided to inquire about the reason behind his choice.

“Hueningkai’s father owns this café. He was a musician, and since he retired, he decided to open this café for all the art and music lovers,” he explained briefly, and his answer was enough to prove why this café had such a retro vibe to it with LP records put on the walls, pastel colours chosen over bright, neon ones and sentimental songs being played in the background. “Hueningkai is my friend and the drummer of our band,” he added when it dawned on him that you didn’t know who this boy was.

“Gen Z Tragedy, right?” You asked though you knew the answer to it. Yeonjun nodded, and while you were at the topic, you couldn’t help but inquire about the origin of the band’s name.

“Well, Beomgyu wanted something generation Z-related because he says Hueningkai’s and his behaviour are peak gen Z behaviour, and I’ve suggested something that represents the music we do, so we put it together, and Gen Z Tragedy was born,” he explained thoroughly, and from the way he spoke of the other two members, you could feel just how much they meant to him. If his life was mirroring the lyrics in their songs, his friends must have meant the world to him.

“How do you come up with songs, and how do you arrange them?” You inquired since you were nowhere near familiar with the music industry from the inside, and even though your question could have been too invasive, the boy didn’t mind to talk about his band, he spoke of Gen Z Tragedy fondly, and his whole demeanour changed when he was talking about the members and their team chemistry.

You listened to him attentively, not too taken aback by the fact that the majority of the lyrics was written by him, but both Hueningkai ‒ their drummer ‒ and Beomgyu ‒ their bassist and back vocalist ‒ wrote just as well. Mostly, they arranged the songs together, working in Hueningkai’s father’s old studio. Hueningkai had been taught the whole process by his father, so he could take charge if a problem arose, but both Beomgyu and Yeonjun had learned from him, and now they were all working hard to improve their music. Despite Hueningkai’s father having connections in the industry, their genre was very different from his, plus they wanted to pave the path for themselves.

“And that’s why we were looking for another bassist that could give more power to our songs, and that’s how Wooyoung…” Yeonjun got so caught up in talking about the band that he belatedly realised that he had managed to bring up the topic he had wanted to avoid the most.

He looked away, ashamed and frustrated, but it was enough for you to put the pieces together: of those three guitar sets on his previous profile photo, of the fight at the bar and of the boy who had smiled smugly even though you had been punched instead of him. He had joined them later, and had done something that had made the original three members think twice about having him in the band.

Instead of pressuring the topic, you inquired from him what kind of musicians influenced him the most, and you could immediately see how his shoulders slumped in ease. You had no right to ask him about personal issues, and since that night had been quite messy for the boy, you had seen it for yourself, you didn’t want to pressure him to talk about anything that might make him uncomfortable, but you were genuinely interested in their band, how it had started, whom they looked up to, and what the band meant to them.

You swore you could listen to him for hours because his voice was deep and alluring, and maybe you could have done so because you didn’t even keep track of time. You got to realise that you had been talking for hours only when the slightly curly haired boy came up to your table with a knowing smile.

“Hey~” The so-called Hueningkai singsonged joyfully. “Can I get you something more?” Hueningkai inquired, and as if Yeonjun had woken up from a daze, he shot his friend a pointed look.

“I’ve thought your shift wouldn’t start until 6.”

“It’s already 6, you dummy,” the boy told him teasingly, pointing at the vintage clock on the wall that was representing the keys on a piano, half of the slots for the hours being the white keys and the other half being the black ones. Yeonjun looked at the clock, too, but when he turned back to the table, he nudged his friend in the side instead of acknowledging what he had heard.

“Who do you call a dummy? I’m older than you!”

“Okay, okay, I came with peace!” Hueningkai held his hands up high in the air, admitting his defeat. Yeonjun rolled his eyes at his friend’s antics, but you could tell that it was out of fondness, not hate. The chemistry between those two could be felt immediately. “So should I get re-fills for you or do you want something else?” He bobbed his head in your empty glasses’ direction, but both of you were quick to object.

Hueningkai noted it with a pout, but when his eyes found yours, and he realised who you were, his hands flew to his mouth.

“Oh my! Are you okay? How’s your nose?” he asked as worried as if you had been still at the bar, and you could detect Yenjun’s second-hand embarrassment by the way he was trying to cover his face with his hands.

“It’s fine. There’s no need to worry.”

“I’m glad then,” the younger boy mentioned as he let out a long, long sigh. You found it heartwarming how concerned he was even though you two didn’t know each other at all. “Then, you two just randomly met here or…” He started as he averted his eyes from you to his friend’s, confusion and suspicion mingling with his innocent, boyish features.

You exchanged a glance with Yeonjun, and you had a feeling that he wanted to answer this question, so you let him explain to his friend that he tried to pay you back for what he had done by inviting you to some coffee, and he had decided to show you this place because it was the closest to the atmosphere of the music bar where you had been working. At least, it was the same in its theme. Then, the boy waved off his friend’s curious questions about how you had lost track of time, and instead, you both agreed on parting ways much to Hueningkai’s dismay.

However, this time, your heart was lighter than that previous night, and saying goodbye to him wasn’t filled with rage and pain and guilt. Maybe the boy could start realising that not all of his mistakes caused devastation, and that he deserved to have some agony being erased from his already heavy heart.

Yeonjun had completed his payback, so you had no reason to see each other again, but oddly enough, you found yourself thinking about the boy again and again. When the peak hours passed at the bar, you were often left wiping off the counter or filling the fridge with drinks, and your thoughts could easily spiral back to the image of his jet-black locks, his equally jet-black orbs and that ever so faint smile of his that you had only seen once. To the sound of his deep, raspy voice that wasn’t dangerously low like a warning, more like the rain that came to wash away the remains of a thunderstorm. To his heart that was ever so heavy, but it was so full of love for Beomgyu and Hueningkai that you wished that someone could love him back the same. Or even more because he deserved it.

Sometimes, you put on their available songs in your free time, the songs making you feel all sorts of emotions, but most importantly: acceptance. The melodies were familiar by now, the boys’ voices like accompanists to your rather ordinary life, and you realised you wouldn’t have it another way. You were fine just listening to them, hoping for them to succeed even more, if it meant that Yeonjun would feel more comfortable this way.

Two months passed by until you met again because Gen Z Tragedy was performing at the music bar, and you thought of it as a lucky coincidence because all sorts of aspiring musicians were performing at your workplace, so there was no guarantee that they would show up, especially after what had happened last time. Not to mention that the band who had won the local band battle was the one who came by more frequently, and thanks to your co-workers’ up-to-date knowledge with the bands performing there, you got to know that they were called Rebel Rhapsody, and they were the previous band that the so-called Wooyoung had played in. Yet, by now, Wooyoung had been neither in their band or Gen Z Tragedy, so you assumed that he had either opted for other bands or had left the music scene altogether. According to the rumours, he had had a pretty bad fall-out with both bands, and if you had really been wrapped up in their fight, you could understand Yeonjun’s behaviour even more.

That night, the three boys performed a few covers, a few of their original songs that you had already listened to, and one that you were sure you hadn’t heard before. The lines such as ‘if I turn around, eventually, they’ll just end up being an unfamiliar someone’ and ‘as my entire heart burns, I’m afraid that only black ashes will remain’ struck you so hard that you needed to hold onto the counter firmly, grounding yourself. You could practically hear Yeonjun’s voice bleeding amongst the words, a young boy who was scared of being loved, and even though you didn’t know his background story, only what you had been told at the art café and what you could have put together from their lyrics, you had a feeling that he didn’t just act so broken, he was broken.

As the song came to an end, the audience clapped for them and you joined them, heaviness settling in your chest. They bowed a few times before packing away their stuff, and they could have easily left after gathering their stuff and putting it in the staff’s room as every performer could do so while they were there, but a very cheerful Hueningkai hopped down on a bar stool a few minutes later, and asked for a glass of orange juice, only to realise that it was you who would serve him.

So by the time his friends joined him, he had already chirped your ears off about their soon-to-be released album, about what had happened to the band in the last two months, and he hadn’t failed to promote his father’s art café either, prompting you to drop by anytime because he was working there whenever he wasn’t practicing with the band and at least you would have a familiar face around.

“I admire the way you promote anything, but I’m sure she would have come by if she had wanted to,” Beomgyu teased him casually, directing a friendly smile in your direction. Even though you hadn’t been introduced to him officially, it wasn’t difficult to know who he was since you had already known the other two members.

“Maybe she was just too shy to come by.” Hueningkai shrugged, and you let out a giggle, thinking that it was adorable how he tried to defend you.

“It’s not about that. I merely don’t move out that much, at least not alone,” you explained while you were handing their drummer his orange juice, and you took the other two’s orders, too. When your eyes settled on Yeonjun’s face, you couldn’t read off anything, not even surprise or frustration, but maybe it was better than if he had been ashamed of seeing you again.

“Well then, that’s great! Come by with Yeonjun next time,” Hueningkai suggested ever so beamingly, with no hint of joking in his voice. Yet, the leader didn’t feel like playing his game, so he nudged him in the side and reprimanded him for saying nonsense.

It wasn’t the only hint Hueningkai dropped that night about you two, but you two always objected, much to Hueningkai and Beomgyu’s amusement. You could sense that there was nothing purposefully offensive in their playful teasing, that’s why you weren’t even mad at them. You were already nearing the end of your shift anyways, and it was fun to get to know the other two members better, especially since Yeonjun was the quiet one, mostly commenting when he wanted to hold back the other two from going overboard or when a question was directed at him. Though at least you could see smiling, the ice around his heart thawing whenever he was around his friends, and the sight warmed your heart.

You said goodbye to them when your shift ended, and you went back to the staff’s room to pick up your stuff, ready to head out of the bar altogether when you caught sight of Yeonjun still sitting by the counter, nursing his drink. You would be delusional to think that he had been waiting for you, but you didn’t want to leave without telling him how much you liked their songs (without Hueningkai’s chirping and Beomgyu’s teasing remarks), so you sat down beside him on a bar chair, and said:

“I’ve just wanted to tell you that I think your songs are great, and it’s amazing that there are still bands like yours that sing about the struggles of our generation. I’m sure many of us can resonate with the lyrics of your songs,” you confessed sincerely, yet when Yeonjun turned his head towards you, he quirked an eyebrow challengingly.

“Does it resonate with you?” He tilted his head, probably debating how much of what you had said was true. Sure, you could have told him white lies, but that wouldn’t have been you.

“I’ve never had big dreams even though I was a good student,” you started a bit hesitant, not sure how much to say to make him believe. You wanted him to believe you. You needed him to believe you. To believe in someone. “I’m lucky that my parents don’t force me to pick up something, but it was always something I’ve been faced with. Seeing how many students go onto higher education, and I didn’t even though I could have passed with my grades… A lot of people told me to find something, I may grow to love it, but I didn’t want to dive into something I didn’t like. So I’ve decided to work instead, and now I’m just kind of floating, trying to find where to settle, so I can relate a lot to that pressure of meeting expectations, of not knowing who you are.”

At the beginning of your monologue, you felt like you were clumsily stumbling upon your words, but the more you spoke, the more confident you became. Yeonjun’s features softened a bit, and that prompted you as well, so by the end, you didn’t feel like it was that big of a confession on your part. You knew he would understand, and so did he.

“It’s okay if you don’t find your dream so early. You’re still young,” he pointed out, his voice neutral, but his orbs telling you tales of how he had been trying to say the same words to himself. You knew that he hadn’t believed that music would be the path for him, so he hadn’t found his dream until he had met his two friends, and maybe he had been just as lost, just as helplessly wandering in the sea of dreams as you did so lately.

You gulped nervously before bringing up the next part of your story, but you felt the need to add it to your previous explanation.

“I know that now, but my previous boyfriend and his family…” You trailed off, the flashbacks coming back at you, pointing their fingers, mocking you. Initially, you had fallen in love with that boy from your high school days because he had seemed too good for you, and you had been flattered that he had liked you back. He had been polite, handsome, ever so considerate and he had been so ambitious that he hadn’t dreamt of anything less than a double-degree programme at one of the SKY universities and an overseas one. His dreams had always been greater than yours, and even though it might not have been striking in the beginning, and it hadn’t made a difference, eventually it had all changed.

“They were of a different opinion, and I found myself in a very bad place mentally because of them,” you concluded briefly because you didn’t want to go into detail about how you hadn’t wanted to study either because the boy had been comparing your results to his, and he had become obsessed planning your future for you, and when you had objected, he had played the victim, and it had all gone downhill. You had been lucky that you had escaped because you didn’t know how much more of his emotional manipulation could you have put up with.

“I’m sorry,” Yeonjun remarked solemnly, his voice laced with a hint of concern. You didn’t want him to worry because it was all good now, so you mumbled:

“I’m better off without him. I’m just glad I had the courage to leave him because him not accepting me without a university degree was him not accepting me as my true self.

The silence that followed your confession was nowhere near uncomfortable. Instead, you felt a strong sense of understanding, and you slipped into this warm feeling quite easily. You hadn’t intended to bring up something so personal when you had walked up to him that night, but he had asked, and knowing about what might have happened to him due to the band’s lyrics, you felt indebted to him, so you wanted to answer all of his questions as truthfully as possible.

“Leaving is sometimes for the better,” he whispered more to himself than to you, but you could feel the plea, the desperation for agreement in the way his gaze stayed on you, eyes not leaving yours. He was so vulnerable like this, like a child reaching his hand out to his parents while silently suffering, that’s why your heart broke for him. You wished you could do something for him, you wished you could be the one to hold his hand when he was asking for help, but you weren’t sure that he let anyone see when he was in his weakest moments.

“Because staying is sometimes more painful than leaving,” you added, nodding along, so that he knew that you agreed with his statement. You knew that he believed you now for trust was finally engraved into his features, and his eyes shone in a different light, but you still felt like there was something that was holding both of you back from getting closer. Or maybe he was merely not ready to let you in.

You sat there in silence for sometime afterwards, but eventually he finished his drink, and suggested walking you home since you had stayed after your shift, and it was even later than you usually went home. You would have objected if it had been for someone else, but with Yeonjun, you had a feeling that his offer wasn’t because he deemed you fragile or vulnerable, but because he wanted to take responsibility for keeping you there.

So you gave in without a second thought, and even though most of your bus ride home was spent in silence, you didn’t mind. Sitting in silence with Yeonjun wasn’t overwhelming, it was oddly calming, like stumbling upon a spot of serenity in the middle of the buzzing city. He might have seemed far away and shone differently than others just like the moon, but his light drew you in, and you didn’t want to let go of him. Even if you eventually had to, at least for the day, and there was no promise of another encounter when he broke the silence as you came to a halt in front of your house.

“Thank you for not leaving when your shift ended,” he whispered raspily, and there was so much in his expression that you found it hard to decipher him. One thing was for sure though: he appreciated your honesty, and you appreciated that he had let you be sincere with him.

“Thank you for walking me home,” you mentioned with a gentle smile, and the half-smile you have received from him was more than you could have asked for. The momentary happiness hiding behind the smile was worth more to you than possible answers to your possible questions.

For now, it was more than enough that you could make him smile like that, though you wished you could have done so more often. Hoping, hoping, endlessly hoping for a fully bloomed smile.

After that day, Yeonjun sometimes came by the music bar, and sometimes you went to the art café where Hueningkai was working (much to his and Beomgyu’s happiness), and bumped into the jet-black haired boy a few times. It wasn’t settled, you never notified the other even though you had each other’s contacts, but you liked it this way. Nothing was pressuring you to meet, but you could see each other if you wanted to, and the other wouldn’t mind.

You liked getting to know Yeonjun bit by bit, and you liked how the distance between the two of you grew shorter and shorter. Neither of you were rushing anything; you understood that the boy needed time and a lot of trust to open up, and you let him test the waters, getting to know you, seeing if he could trust you. You were as honest with him as possible, and not having the burden of living up to his expectations like you had done so with your ex-boyfriend and his family, you felt free like a bird escaping its cage. You felt weightless beside him, and you realised that maybe, while you were in this floating, transitioning phase in your life, there were more opportunities and flickers of hope than you would have initially thought so, and it set you free.

You also got to see Yeonjun smile more often, and while seeing him like that was still like a treasure ‒ ever so scarce yet ever so precious ‒, you cherished each joyful moment with him as if it was the first. You could see him being teasing and goofy with his friends, and you could see him as a flustered boy under the caring eyes of the old couple who lead the tteokbokki place where he was working. They had told you that Yeonjun had been helping them out ever since his high school days, and now he was working full-time, trying to arrange the band’s practices around his working schedule though they tried to be as flexible with him as possible.

With all of these little moments, encounters and conversations, you slowly got to build up the unbreakable fortress that he was, and you got to know the way to his heart: honesty, vulnerability and care. Honesty because he had been fooled and used too many times to bear more liars, vulnerability because he could only begin to let down his walls if someone else around him had done so before, and care because he didn’t believe that he was worthy of love or attention, and he needed constant proof that you wouldn’t leave him one day.

In return, he accepted you as you were, just as you were. He was understanding like no one else, and he cared though he was better with actions than with words. He could know from a fraction of an expression if you weren’t feeling well, and he was ready to listen to whatever you had to say, and he knew exactly just what you needed to hear; he was always giving his portion of kimchi whenever you two were eating out, and he did it without a word each and every time even though you didn’t ask him to; he always walked you home when he didn’t have the night shift or a band practice; and he sometimes asked for your opinion on song lyrics that might resonate with you too, and it meant the world to you.

So knowing about his past, his family background, and the scars that had painted the canvas of his life, you had utter admiration for him and his will to keep going, to keep fighting for his dreams. For you, he was like a compass that showed you the right direction, and for him, you were like the moon that shone upon his darkest hours of the night.

That’s why it wasn’t that surprising that you inquired about his favourite place, and even though he warned you that it was nothing fancy, you were looking forward to it eagerly. You weren’t even taken aback when he took you to an abandoned place outside of the city, somewhere where you could only get to on foot after hopping off the bus. You looked around at all those randomly scattered objects that had been left behind while he was leading the way to the top of the building, and there, he sat down close to the edge, crossing his legs and keeping himself up with his hands on the ground behind him.

“Why does this place mean so much to you?” you asked as you sat down beside him, following his gaze and watching as the light breeze played with the branches on the nearby trees. It was fall, the time when leaves turned into an array of colours, and eventually fell, letting another season come by, but you were still in the early phases of the current season. The weather was tender, almost gentle, and the wind was only caressing your skin as if it was trying to soothe all wrinkles and to tend to past wounds.

“We’ve been here with the guys a lot of times when we wanted to escape the hustle-bustle of the city, so in a way, it’s our secret place,” he explained, his eyes staring far ahead. It could be seen that he was contemplating whether or not to add something more, so you let him be with thoughts, and decide it for himself. After all, it was already enough of an answer for you.

So you sat in silence for some more moments while only the rattling of the leaves could be heard, but you let it be the background music of your conversation. Sometimes it was the rain outside a window or the subtle clutter in the art café accompanied by some old ballad songs playing in the background. Small, yet significant moments that were still yours, and that’s what mattered.

“And I’ve always felt like this place was similar to how I am. Abandoned, only found and visited by a few people who came by because of destiny,” Yeonjun added later on, but his voice was quiet and uncertain. Or maybe it was that raw edge to it that made you feel like he wasn’t sure that he could tell you this.

“But this place is still here just like you. It didn’t collapse no matter the damage it has suffered, and that’s admirable,” you pointed out, tilting your head to have a better look at him, but he merely shook his head, avoiding your gaze.

“It’ll collapse one day. It’s just a matter of time.”

You knew this side of him: the one that was sure that he was the reason his blood-related family had left him behind, and that his adoptive parents didn’t love him. You knew that he was doubting others’ care towards him, but still, the way torment was carrying his words squeezed your heart. You didn’t want to save him from his demons because you knew that at the end of the day, he would need to be the one to turn against the darkness, but you wanted to be a ray of light in his life, something that he could hold onto when he was sinking alone, something that he could turn to when it became too burdening to deal with his self-hatred.

Thus, you couldn’t give up.

“And what if someone doesn’t want to give up on it? What if someone wants to rebuild it?” you retorted, and there was newfound confidence in your voice. It wasn’t uncommon that you went against his words, especially when he was doubting himself, and this time too, you knew that he was talking about himself, not only the abandoned building. He was still staring far ahead, but the corner of his lips twitched, and he let out a hurtful snort in return.

“Who would do so? It’s been the same for at least a decade.”

“Maybe those who have no reason to leave it like that,” you kept going, more and more powerful feelings lacing your words. You were oh so desperate, not willing to give up on this conversation, not willing to give up on him. Because he deserved it. He gave more love than he received, and you wanted to balance it out. You wanted to be the one he turns to whenever he’s having a hard time or he’s craving some company. Because he needed it. He needed a helping hand just as you needed someone to hold onto.

“Everyone leaves eventually,” he snapped, turning his head towards you, his raw, raspy voice sending shivers down your spine. You kept the eye-contact with him, not scared by the accusation in his voice.

“Only until someone proves you wrong,” you remarked confidently, and you could see the ice around his heart thawing. Whenever he brought up something to object, you were there to contradict him, and his somewhat thankful yet still somewhat broken expression gave way for hope in your heart. “I want to stay in your life,” you confessed sincerely, not averting your eyes from his face because you wanted him to see that you were honest. You may not know what the future holds for you two, but you knew how you felt, and you knew that you wanted to stay by his side, to continue holding his hand if he wanted to, and to be with him even if that meant that you would merely sit beside each other in silence.

He pushed himself off the ground, so that he was in a cross-legged position with his hands resting in his lap, and he leaned forward, close enough for you to see the sun-kissed parts of his face, and to observe every mole as if it had been a part of a painting. You weren’t usually this close to each other, so you could have been taken aback, but you weren’t. You merely welcomed his close proximity for it showed that he was ready to let you in.

“With everything that I am?” Yeonjun whispered, the moment stretching between you two while he didn’t take his eyes off of you.

“With everything.” You nodded without a second thought, knowing that just as he accepted you with every part of you, you accepted him with all the colours he held inside, and with all the burden and pain he carried from his childhood. There was no doubt about it; you loved him, and even if he were to ask you for the hundredth time, you would say the same.

You were ready to get lost in the jet-black sea of his eyes, swimming and swimming in it until you were out of breath, exploring every corner, every different shade. He was a paradox, a metaphor that could only scratch the surface of what he actually held inside, but you didn’t mind taking your time to solve him. If the rattling of the branches around were the background music, the accompanist was your heart that beated louder and louder the closer the boy leaned forward, and you were not only speechless when he pressed his lips onto yours, but breathless, too.

He was taking your breath away in the best way possible, and time seemed to pass by, but you didn’t care. What mattered was him, the trust in his jet-black eyes, the relieved smile in the corner of his lips as you two came up for air, and the palette of colours that shone upon him as the sun was setting behind him.

Because now it seemed that he was ready to accept that he was made up of more than only darkness.

Now, he had learned how to get up time and time again because he couldn’t give up on his life. He couldn’t give up on what he had, his dreams, his friend, and also you. He might not have always done the right thing, he might not have always been on the winning side, but as long as he could learn from each and every round, he was ready to keep going, to move on with his life no matter what obstacles life threw at him. Maybe that light had always been within him, he had merely not known how to approach it; how to accept that it could be a part of him, that it could keep himself warm, but now, his midnight sky days were over, and he was ready to welcome the sunrise.

Having you by his side helped, too, for he could believe that he deserved love and support, and you proved him again and again that you didn’t have to be blood-related to him to accept him for who he was. In fact, all the people in his life who genuinely accepted him weren’t blood-related, but they were his chosen family, and he was ready to accept that. He was ready to let the light in, to let the suffocating darkness dissolve.

That didn’t mean that it was easy to be himself, that it was easy to put aside his self-hatred and his demons, but he was getting there, and now when he was sinking alone, he couldn’t stop thinking about you, and what you would say to him to reassure him, and that was usually enough to lift up the blinding mist that might have fallen over him time and time again. If not, he let the darkness engulf him completely, but that happened less and less frequently.

You still didn’t know what you wanted with your life and what was your dream, but you decided to enjoy what you had, and whom you had by your side. You loved spending time with Hueningkai and Beomgyu too, having lots of fun and hilarious moments beside them, and you loved when you could feel completely and sincerely at ease with all the members of Gen Z Tragedy because apart from their usual teasing, they were very supportive of your relationship with Yeonjun, and the same went for your parents and the old couple at Yeonjun’s workplace. The boy’s parents didn’t seem to care about his love life, so he didn’t bother introducing you to them after they hadn’t shown interest in getting to know you, but your parents loved him and cared for him as if he had been their kid, too.

As months passed by, and he could finally hope of moving out from his adoptive parents’ house because he knew that he could get by with what he had, and so he started looking for flats, something else happened that he had been expecting, but wouldn’t have thought that it would come true.

So of course he went to see you, knocking on the door at your family’s house, hoping that you would be at home, and when you opened the door, he gave you a sentimental smile.

“We made it!” Yeonjun broke it down to you immediately, but you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, needing more details.

“What is it about?” you inquired as you beckoned him inside, and as soon as the sentence rolled off his tongue, the first teardrop rolled down with it. You were a bit cautious for this reason, but when you got to know what it was about, you realised those weren’t tears of agony, but of joy.

“Gen Z Tragedy has gotten a contract at an agency,” he explained, his voice breaking by the end, and you were so happy for him that you immediately hugged him, letting his soft sobs reverberate through your body.

Yeonjun wasn’t one to cry easily, he held it inside so well that tears were ever so scarce companions of his feelings, but those tears that he had been keeping for himself all his life had accumulated, and he couldn’t stop crying. Crying for that young boy at the orphanage who had felt all alone and abandoned, his only company being silence and the evil voices in his head; crying for that teenager who had never understood what he had done so wrong that his adoptive parents hadn’t loved him, and who had decided that he had been better alone and pretending that he hadn’t needed anybody; crying for that high school boy who hadn’t dared to believe that Hueningkai and Beomgyu would stay in his life, and that his dream of being a musician could ever come true; and crying, crying, crying for all those times he had wanted to push you away, not daring to hope for someone like you to love him.

Now, he was finally ready to see that he might not always leave burnt ashes behind, and that seeds of hope could grow even from the hardest ground.

#txt #yeonjun #txt scenarios #yeonjun scenarios #tomorrow x together #tomorrow x together scenarios #txt imagines #yeonjun imagines #tomorrow x together imagines #txt angst #yeonjun angst #txt x reader #txt x you #yeonjun x reader #yeonjun x you #tomorrow x together angst #restlessmaknae

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tobesensation-9 · 3 years ago

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Earlier, I was cramming for bio and could just imagine how much Youngbin and Inseong would nag me for leaving it to the last minute, with Taeyang making some coffee and Chanhee out like a light, asleep the minute he opened the textbook because we had a physics exam last week. How do you think cramming/pulling an all-nighter with each member of SF9 as your study buddy would be like - individually - can you lease make this light a scenario for each member? ik ur busy, k ily bye.

😂😂

Why do I see that too. Especially Chanhee 😂. And I love the requests you guys send, it gives me an escape from my hectic college and work life. (This also late but I thought it was timely with my finals around the corner 💀)

Youngbin

“You have to make sure your careful about this stuff.” He’d come over to you at the table where you sat, handing you some healthy snacks to help you stay focused.

“Yeah I know. I had a lot on my plate.”

He takes his hand and reaches across your shoulder and caresses it.

“Don’t stress yourself too much. But make sure you get enough studying in okay?”

Inseong

You’d ask him to help you study for the test and he’d oblige. Only to find out that you were cramming. He’d be peeved from you not telling him about cramming on such short notice.

“How-“

“I can explain.”

“How do you expect me to help you study when the test is tomorrow?”

“I’m sorry h should’ve told you that.”

“Okay, it’s a good thing I’m good at this I think you’ll be alright.”

Jaeyoon

He tries to comfort you as he sees you trying to cram for your test. He feels helpless wishing he could do more to help you.

He approaches you at the table and hovers hoping you’d notice him and ask him to help you with something.

“Jaeyoon?”

“Hmm?” He looks down at you realizing he was noticed.

“Do you wanna help me with something?”

“Yeah...I mean I can if you want me to.”

“I need a hug, I’m stressing out.” You turn around in your chair and hug him. He smiles and caresses your back seeing how stressed you were. “You got it, don’t stress out,” he says.

Dawon (Sanghyuk)

Why do I see him trying to help you with the subject as he knew what he was doing 💀. Not saying Dawon isn’t smart. But he’d read certain concepts as if he knew but in actuality knew nothing about them 💀.

“Oh biology? I nailed that back in school this is nothing.” He closes the book and puts its down as if he’s ready to school you on something.

“Okay?” You look at him confused. Him being confident scared you more than excite you.

“I let’s go over the concepts”

“Do you not know wh

You look at the flash cards and

Zuho (Juho)

So get ready to try to calm this guy down. Although it’s YOUR test, he panics at not being able to help you. Think of “Taeyang-shii” energy but x10 with him yelling your name instead.

“Y/n!!”

“What? Why are you yelling at me?!”

“What happened to preparing for your tests by giving yourself enough time to study?”

“I’m cramming bc I forgot. I don’t like cramming but that’s what I have to do. Are you gonna help me or not?”

“I’ll try my best 🥲🥺. But I may not be of any help I’m such short notice.”

Rowoon (Seokwoo)

When I say he would annoy you so much 😂. Yes Youngbin and Inseong wound nag, but that wouldn’t be nagging compared to this guy.

“So how long did you know about this?”

“A while. But I got sidetracked from all of my other classes so I forgot.”

“Ah. So you were being careless.”

“Where are you getting this from? I wasn’t careless it just slipped my mind.”

“Get a planner. Put it in your calendar. Make a reminder.”

“I did. That’s why I’m cramming now.”

He’d make you some food and a drink as if he didn’t just annoy you and try to help you study. From the good food he made you, you almost forgot about him being a jackass prior. Almost. He’d run your head or back and caress it as his way of cheering you on in your studies.

Taeyang

Yes like you said I see Taeyang just not being in your way and making you or getting you coffee. He would try to help you any way he could, without distracting you.

It would be 12 am when he saw you yawning and stretching backing away from your textbook and notebook. You’d get to stretch too and yawn three more times before you noticed him looking at you with a small smile.

“What?”

“You yawned like four times in the last 30 seconds.”

“I did?” You’d sheepishly scratch your hair while he got up and left the small private study room you guys were in. He’d come back a few minutes with your coffee made just the way you like it.

Hwiyoung (Youngkyun)

No but why do I see him having to cram for a test with you 😅😂.

You’d text him telling him to meet you at your favorite study spot so he can help you cram for a test. Then he’d text you back saying he was gonna text you asking the same thing 😂.

“Which lessons did we have to know for chapter 3?”

“I don’t think he went over chapter 3.”

“What? We didn’t?”

“Yeah we’re only getting tested on chapters 1, 2 & 4.”

“Where have I been?”

Chani (Chanhee)

Oh he’d be out for sure 😂. That or he’d be confused like Hwiyoung but x10. Like he wouldn’t even know what the test was on, let alone have some idea of what to go over (like Hwiyoung). But he’d still end up finessing the test and passing without trying (without cheating) 💀.

“Chanhee c’mon the test is at noon tomorrow.”

“No I thought it was next Tuesday.”

“Yeah, professor said that last week.”

“I don’t remember that are you sure?”

#sf9 #SF9 imagine #SF9 imagines #SF9 fanfic #SF9 smut #SF9 humor #SF9 Drabble #sf9 scenarios #youngbin #inseong #Jaeyoon #Dawon #zuho #Rowoon #Taeyang #hwiyoung #Chani

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divinefireangel · 3 years ago

Text

To-do List!

Will be regularly updated along with Masterlist. For most recent work, check pinned post!

My own ideas:

A Seo Moon-Jo Imagine.

A Justin Min Smut. (F! Reader)

What it's like dating SF9

+ So many more (I might die writing them 💀)

Requests:

Imagines:

SF9:

Chani smut

Hwiyoung smut (Public Sex)

Chani smut (Semi Public Sex)

Rowoon smut (Office AU)

Tsundere! Chani fic

Yoo Taeyang smut (Public Sex)

Dawon smut (Cockwarming/Public Sex)

Dawon smut (S/O gets a wet dream about him)

Chani fic (Enemies to Lovers)

Youngbin fic

Zuho fic (Exes to Lovers)

Hwiyoung fic (Friends to Lovers AU)

Inseong smut (Intimate Love Making)

College Student! Chani smut

Dawon smut (Roadtrip sex 👀)

Youngbin fic (Taking care of sick S/O)

Dawon fic (College student! Sanghyuk AU)

Jaeyoon x Plus Size reader Smut

Friends with Benefits! Chani (College AU)

Vampire! Jaeyoon AU

Reactions:

SF9 meeting you in a random discord server

Coming home to horny SF9

Morning after with SF9

S/O purposely makes them jealous

SF9 taking care of drunk S/O

SF9 upsets their S/O

Making love for the first time

S/O uses safeword

Crush brings up their name in an interview (Idol! Y/N AU) 🆕

SF9's reaction dating chubby S/O

SF9 sees their crush in a swimsuit for the first time

How do SF9 have sex in the dorm🆕

S/O is a wildlife vet (or is studying to be one)

S/O has aquaphobia

S/O has a deep voice

SF9 falling for their best friend

SF9 giving their S/O kiss+tickle attacks

SF9 visits S/O's house for the first time but they are asked to do chores which need height

SF9's reaction to reader pulling an all nighter multiple nights in a row

Asking SF9 to keep their hands to themselves while you suck them off

S/O has Asperger's Syndrome

S/O has a habit of putting their hands in SF9's shirt

S/O is sick and needs help taking a shower

❗Yandere! SF9 ❗

Reactions:

S/O trying to run away

OT9 have crush on same OC

Seo Moon-Jo:

Seo Moon-Jo x M! Reader smut 1 (Yandere! SMJ)

Seo Moon-Jo x M! Reader smut 2

A fluffy fic.

Masterlist(s) Links:

All Works Masterlist

SF9 Masterlist

SF9 Reactions Masterlist

Seo Moon-Jo Masterlist

Justin H Min Masterlist

ATEEZ Masterlist

Stray Kids Masterlist

I will finish the requests depending on inspiration to write. I really appreciate your requests 🥺. Thank you for sending them 💕🤗.

Ask box is open for friendly discussions!

#sf9 #justin min #seo moon jo #sush's to-do list #ateez #stray kids

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9h4mn · 4 years ago

Text

you, who | sf9

➞ sf9 as the type of guys you had a crush on

➞ fluff, pinning, slight! angst, unrequited love

➞ in filipino, they call it kilig and its basically like that butterfly in your stomach exploded which leaves you a flustered mess. what are some of the nine different types of guys that causes you to feel that way?

warnings: insecurity, mentions of divorce, mentions of kidnap attempt, ghosting

inseong:

the senior type

this type of crush is older by a year or two and has this sort of vibe. in school, he has this dazzling smile, kind personality, and an easy to approach demeanor

also known as this genius gentleman

you can see that he isn't like your previous crushes who were rude to you

he drinks respect women juice on the daily

at one point, he will most likely be the one who helped you in a problem regarding school

again he is easy to approach and conversations can flow so easily between the two of you

on inseong's graduating year, you had gained enough courage to try and confess to him

the plan was simple: approach him when he's free, bring him somewhere private, then confess your feelings

its simple — you thought it was simple — but things aren't that easy

of course he would end up liking her, the perfect girl and your classmate

she was beautiful, smart, kind, and tall

you can't even hate her when you want to

but you hope, even just once, that someone out there would choose you over her — its unfortunate that this someone isn't inseong

youngbin:

the brother's best friend type

this type of crush is someone your family has known for some time. he has also most likely saw you in your awkward phrase

don't worry the both of you have seen each other's awkward phrases

your brother always has youngbin over and if not then its your brother who is at youngbin's

they were two peas in a pod never to be separated

however, if your brother teases you too much youngbin is there to the rescue

something about how your brother shouldn't stress our sister

thats right, he had already sisterzoned you but despite that you still like him

your friends helped you in getting over him and all he had to do was smile for that wall to crumble

you were hopelessly in love with a guy who will never see you as a woman

when a few years have passed and you're already living in your college's dorm, you had received an invitation

what was it you ask? youngbin's wedding invitation and you were invited

even until the very end, he had always seen you as his little sister

jaeyoon:

the boy next door type

this type of crush is your neighbor from a much better family. of course your family is nice but they were almost like the picture perfect family

you and jaeyoon happened to be of the same age so when your parents found out they urged you to befriend him

you were lucky that jaeyoon was as sweet as he appeared to be because if he was wicked in the inside you would't have able to survive

staying over at each other's house and watching movies became your thing until jaeyoon's perfect family cracked

his father got swamped in heavy workload and what did his mother do? she cheated on him and got pregnant

his parents' fights were really terrible while they were processing the divorce

at times he would even sleep over at your house with his sister following him

in his time of need, you never once abandoned him

it didn't came as much as a surprise when you and jaeyoon began to date

time may choose to be cruel but when you have each other, everything will be ok

dawon:

the class clown type

this type of crush brings life inside the classroom. everyone laughs at his jokes, even teachers, and he is safe from many things because they just like him like that

you are probably the class president and what does it mean when dawon is your classmate? headaches

seriously though you're the one who gets embarrassed for him

through the years you have been the class president, dawon was always your classmate

it was expected that you'd be annoyed of his antics with how long you've been dealing with him

your relationship changed when he crossed the line and made you cry

since that day you met a new side to the class clown, a boy with a broken past and high expectations — that was the true dawon

hurting you was never his intention. he had also thought that you found things annoying

as he spends more time with you, many classmates begin to notice how that strict and stern president softened

during school festival, you had held his hands and confessed, all while the fireworks began

who would have thought that the class president and class clown would be a good pair?

zuho:

the unattainable type

this type of crush is always taken by your sister or best friend. it doesn't matter which one of the two, he will always date someone close to your heart

you had met him as that person's crush and as a good friend/sister you tried to find out more about this guy

approaching him, sharing conversations, and finding out his interests were your priority

so when you fell for him and find yourself unable to sleep at night due to thinking of him? you knew you were doomed

everything began for her so why were your feelings acting up?

seeing the obvious sparks, you had continued with your original plans and even began to play the role of the matchmaker

you see both zuho's and your friend/sister's struggle with expressing their feelings for each other

they were shy and reluctant, without you it would have been hard for them to strike a conversation without getting flustered

eventually they began to date

and what does it leave you?

the one who gave up on love for the sake of her other loved ones

rowoon:

the popular type

this type of crush is always receiving confessions but for some reason is still single. he is the epitome of a perfect guy sculpted by the gods

there is a high chance that he even has a fanclub of some sort going on

rowoon is that popular

so you liked him because he is popular? no, there is more to rowoon then just that

he is caring, he likes to nag, sometimes he boasts himself too much for your liking, he is almost like a mother too

why do you know all that? you are rowoon's shield against his fangirls

and it all began simply because he noticed how indifferent you were to him

at one point he had even proposed a fake dating idea

seokwoo, you naive fool. thats how shojou love stories begin

of course you declined and he knew how to respect that

your relationship stayed that way until you began to get a fanclub yourself

rowoon only knew the extent of his feelings through jealousy

it had reached a point where he had accidentally blurted out his feelings

well remember that fake dating ploy? there was no need when both your hearts were already beating for each other

taeyang:

the closed off type

this type of crush is like a loner. he isn't necessarily avoiding people and he's more on the shy side. his height and gaze just makes him look intimidating

you sat behind him in class and though it seems stupid since he was tall and could cover your entire body — it was the exact reason you liked sitting behind him

you could draw during class and not get your sketchbook confiscated because of him

the day had come when you would absentmindedly draw taeyang

at first you could defend it as you appreciating pretty things but when you had stopped to draw in class just to stare at taeyang during class? uh-oh

it worsened when you saw taeyang dance for the first time

imagine his surprise when that smol girl who sits behind him began to talk to him nonstop and even does her best to include him

people had began to talk but you weren't the type to get bothered

instead it was taeyang who got worried and even told you to stop talking to him

what did you do? you straight out confessed to him

if he wasn't going to notice all the signs you've given then its time to just blurt it out

you succeeded in flustering him but not at making him believe in your words

maybe one of these days yoo taeyang will understand your feelings but for now you could just settle with this — the silent boy all flustered because of you

hwiyoung:

the "i always see him" type

this type of crush is someone who doesn't go in the same school as you but somehow the both of you always cross paths

and no neither hwiyoung or you are intentionally following each other

you first crossed paths with him at the playground and you two merely walked past each other

then many more circumstances began to present itself and now you and hwiyoung can't help but make faces at each other when you locked eyes

yes, while technically strangers you can act like that with him

the first moment the both of you truly talk to each other was when someone tried to kidnap you

you would have fought back but it was nearly impossible with how sudden you were grabbed

hwiyoung then arrived for your rescue. he simply kicked that kidnapper and you were free

that night while you two were waiting for the police, you shared jokes and laughter as if you both knew each other for a long time

there were more moments of you and hwiyoung but alas it was just memories of your youth

years and years have passed but you could never forget the boy who made your heart race back in high school

you don't know what happened to him

he just stopped appearing one day and since then you haven't saw him again

it was as if he never existed and he was just your dream

chani:

the childhood friend type

this type of crush is someone you had known since you were young and you even grew up alongside him

for sure both your families shipped you

yeah its kinda weird how adults are rooting for a relationship between their barely 5 years old children

both of you were like the butt of the cooties joke, i know immature children at it again

also can see you two having those cute matching clothes when you were much younger

now sometime before high school the both of you got in a huge argument and it ended in bad terms

people who knew you two were shocked on how you became enemies

heated glares and rude remarks were thrown to each other at every moment possible

you don't know how it got to this point. it was a stupid argument and the fact it was enough to end years of friendship? just how little does chani think of you?

but of course this anger slowly turns into pain

you just want your best friend back

and luckily for you, he thought the same

it was a slow process for the both of you to mend things to the way it was before

the argument, though stupid, really caused a heavy rift

when you and chani had gotten close again, it was the first time spring became clear to you

you like your best friend — that was even the reason you argued with him

however, despite being aware of your feelings, you never made a move

maybe if you were braver back then you could have known that he had also liked you

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