#colin zabel x femreader

[ball33rina]

CRAWLING BACK TO YOU

─── COLIN ZABEL x f! reader / fluff - angst

Part 2.

You and Colin used to date after he and his ex-fiancée broke things off; the relationship between you and him was truly amazing, smiles, senseless laughter, jokes, gifts of love between you both, nights of passion and sweet, undeniable kisses. But like all beautiful things, everything comes to an end, because after 5 incredible months, and in which he even spent your birthday with you and gave you an incredible gift: the relationship ended.

But you still followed him on Instagram and he still followed you, he had already archived all his photos with you while you kept the most important ones. Like that time you and him went skiing on a big snowy mountain and he playfully threw you making you fall and turn into a snowball, unforgettable moments.

But it was as if fate always brought you together at times when you both most wanted not to meet. Sitting at the bar of a pub with your two lifelong friends, celebrating the 30th birthday of one of them. You don't usually drink and just then you were trying a cocktail, in your distracted moment you saw your friend's hand move her forearm a little, calling your attention and pointing with her head at Colin: who was sitting next to his friends drinking... at least he didn't seem drunk yet.

"What is he doing here?" The friend who let you know about him questioned you, believing that you had invited him.

"I don't know. I have no idea." Your voice sounded colder than you wanted.

How did your relationship with him end? Well, it turns out that he worked more than he gave you time, and even though you understood it, you grew tired of it and slowly distanced yourself from him and it seemed like he didn't care about that. Every time you wanted to go out and have fun with him, he always used the exhausted card.

"Maybe we should go somewhere else, whenever he's around we get upset." Your other friend suggested. You looked in Colin's direction who didn't seem to have noticed you yet, deep in conversation with his friends.

"No...no. No need girls, let's ignore his presence, okay?" You looked at your friends who nodded hesitantly, worried about how you would feel if he came up to you and talked.

But until an hour later everything seemed normal, you could only hear the laughter that he and his friends shared in the distance. And even though you wanted to deny it, that thing that made your heart feel tight and suffocated was there; you wanted to be with him.

It wasn't until your two friends went to the bathroom as if on cue. You ordered yourself another cocktail to cope with the thought of Colin standing a few feet away from you.

And just as you were about to take the first sip of your new cocktail, you heard the soft clearing of the throat of that voice that wouldn't leave your head when you thought about him.

"I'd find you anywhere but here." Colin looked a little worried, thinking you'd turned into an alcoholic or something.

You turned your head to look at him, swallowing the small sip you took from your cocktail and said.

"It's Vanessa's birthday" you mentioned one of your best friends, whom he recognized when he remembered that you and that girl always went everywhere, even when he took you and her to do some last minute shopping.

"I see." He nodded, he looked at you for a few seconds, he seemed to doubt that he could continue talking to you but when he saw that you were still there without leaving, he looked at the chair next to you. "Can i—?" He said. It might just be a couple of minutes, right? While the girls were gone.

"yeah, go ahead." You nodded towards the seat next to you which he took, his shoulder slightly bumping into yours. His blue work shirt rolled up and slightly wrinkled.

Both sat in silence deciding who would be the first to say something, and finally he began.

"You know, I know it's been a while and I—" he stuttered the last bit trying to figure out what to say. "I still can't get how we ended this out of my head." He closed his eyes looking away, his hand clenching the green glass bottle of his beer. Then he opened his eyes and looked at you.

You opened your mouth to say something only to realize that no words were coming out.

"And you don't need to say anything because I know, believe me, I know. It was me who screwed up." He frowned, his free hand pointing at his chest, you would think he was drunk but you knew him too well to know when he was.

"Colin, we both screwed up, not just you," you said, blaming yourself for something you never did.

He just huffed and shook his head.

"Come on, you don't have to do this." He gulped and looked down at his beer bottle. Your eyes scanning as the vein above his eyebrow twitched.

"Y/N, when I said I was exhausted from going out, I was true. I was not an excuse not to going out. I dealt with this case that I just can't get out of my head and I sank you into it...I sank us into an investigative case that should never have come into it in the first place." He said and looked at you again, his eyes red with pain that made your heart melt.

"colin..." You whispered, and he just shook his head, passing his hand over his forehead to his hair and added.

"I can't get you out of my head. I can't get your face out of my head telling me that you got tired of expecting something from me in return. I have it in my mind and it haunts my dreams. It create nightmares." He looked at you again and pressed his lips together then spoke again. "I just ask you...that if at any time you think about us like I do 24/7. Tell me because I'm dying...without you."

His bottom lip trembled and he looked down. You could tell he didn't want to cry in front of you for fear of looking pathetic.

Then he looked up at you once more. "I would crawl back to you as many times as you ask me to," he confessed. "You healed absolutely everything that woman put me through and losing you is like losing everything in life."

You stayed silent but you remembered everything again and you only felt that pain towards him.

"You should have said it before...you should have fixed it before Colin. Not now" you looked at him, he just looked you in the eyes and nodded.

"And you think that even these words would have healed everything before? I doubt it. I know your iron armor," he whispered. "Hell, you were probably going to slap me and call me a 'fucking bastard' and then I'd cry pathetically.

He looked down at his bottle, and honestly that made you let out a chuckle. It was true.

"Damn bastard, you lacked balls." you said smiling and he looked up seeing the smile on your lips.

"The balls I lacked. I was always the woman in the relationship." He made it known by making you roll your eyes and shake your head.

"kind of." You nodded and laughed making him laugh after almost crying in front of you.

"Just think about it, okay? The year is almost over and I— I want to welcome it with you." He looked into your eyes, avoiding touching you so as not to create tension between you two.

The year was almost over, right? Who would want to spend it alone without someone you love?

"And say happy birthday Vanessa for me." He stood up from his chair and took his beer again, gulping hard and knowing that you wouldn't say anything to stop him from leaving, he left going with his friends. Respecting your space.

Maybe you should think about it. He was the only one who made you love him intensely and his words didn't sound sugary, they sounded sincere.

Shortly after, your friends came back from the bathroom smiling and sat next to you, not having noticed that you had just had a conversation with your ex.

[ball33rina]

SO I WON'T SAY IT AT ALL

─── COLIN ZABEL x f! reader / fluff - angst - part 2 of this first fic.

read the part one.

Colin looked at you sitting in front of you at a table for two, a somewhat luxurious restaurant that Colin surely spent his savings to bring you here. The air around you felt tense, his hands fidgeting with each other as he thought of what to say. It was the first time in months that you and he had been on a date again.

You and he agreed to meet up to sort things out...and see what you could do or just end it there.

"You look pretty...it's not like it's the first time. You...you always look beautiful." He said smiling overwhelmed, while you just looked at him, your hands heading towards your still untouched plate of food.

"You look good too," you said, your voice coming out lower than you intended. He nodded, swallowing hard, his Adam's apple bobbing.

But the minutes of silence reigned until he couldn't take it anymore.

"Listen to the main reason I told you to come here... is because, well, like I said, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. About the mistakes I made by simply sinking into that stupid case." He reached his hand to his short hair trying to comb it, but he ended up messing it up.

You just looked at him with eyes full of confusion and some empathy. Empathy because you knew how much he was stressed but also some frustration because it took a toll on the relationship.

"But it's not the fault of the 'stupid case', you decided to do it yourself" you said and he just looked at you. He blinked for a moment and looked away then looked at you again.

"I just want to know that if you ever think about trying again, I'm willing to put everything aside and propose to you." He clarified, his face not changing, not even forming a smile, just pure genuineness that you didn't know if you should trust.

Was it feasible to trust him after what happened? But then again, he only made the mistake once, but it still made you doubt.

And proposing to you was a strong word, really doubting if you were the person he wanted to be with.

"How are you sure that I can be that person for you?" you asked without looking him in the eyes.

"I just know. When I look at you the world stops, y/n." He mumbled. "I said it at the bar and I'll say it again: you are my thoughts day and night, my dreams...and my future. I don't plan on living it without you."

You looked back at him, eyes connecting. Hesitating, he reached out his fingers to your hand resting on the table, delicately taking them as if you were a crystal.

"I love you." He told you firmly, your eyebrows relaxed upon hearing those three words and for a moment...you simply thought: fuck it.

Your fingers took his back, causing your hands to intertwine, and you swore you heard his breath catch before it reached his nose.

"i love you too, Colin." You nodded, you didn't think that just saying that would make your eyes water, but they did. He immediately got up from the table when he saw your expression and walked over to you, crouching down next to you where you were sitting and hugging you by the shoulders, kissing your cheek and then your forehead.

"I promise on my life...that I will never, ever hurt you again," he whispered in your ear as you prayed that his words were true.