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green-spear-of-causality · 5 years ago

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“You’re overthinking– I’m yours. That’s all I want to be.” and none other than Cu Chulainn

//Because I'm a really big dumbass, this is long overdue. @coldpalaceee, I'm sorry if this isn't as good as it deserves to be...I am loving these prompts, and I hope I haven't deterred you from requesting more! (...God I work slow - )

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I'm overreacting.

...Well, that wasn't new, was it? You had always been shy, and awkward, and clumsy, and just so many things you knew you weren't good at or lacked.

The fact that you knew you were overreacting made it ten times worse.

You stared at your boyfriend, the one and only Cú Chulainn, who was making small talk with the (pretty attractive) waiter as you both waited for your meals. You weren't at a fancy restaurant, no; your poor heart couldn't take the stifling formality that came with going to fancy places.

You tended to avoid them like the plague.

So, once you brought it up that you wanted to go somewhere with Cú that wasn't a fancy place, he patted your head and gave you a sun-filled grin that temporarily made your anxiety dissipate. He was always good with that, the comfort; it was like he knew exactly what to do when you clammed up or started to get lost in your own thoughts, resulting in you making more mistakes on whatever you were doing.

You both decided to go to an out-of-the-way cafe, the very same one where you two first met.

He had done so much for you already. Time and time again, he went out of his way to make you comfortable. You honestly wondered why he even wanted to hang around you, much less date you.

So, you presented the idea of this particular outing to him as a treat.

You were supposed to be the one making him feel good. You were supposed to be the one to make him feel comfortable.

He's been talking to this waiter for five minutes... Your gaze became downcast, eyes boring holes into the menu in front of you. You could hear the waiter laugh at a particular joke, one you recognized Cú telling you not even a week ago.

Despite the swirling unease in your stomach, you slightly smiled. Cú always had a tendency to tell other people stuff he learned with excitement that could affect even the most depressed person. He's like a puppy; it's...cute.

Not that you'd ever call him a puppy to his face.

" -ight, (Y/N)?"

"H-Huh?" Your gaze snapped back up to Cú, who was waiting for an answer. You scratched the back of your head, sheepish. "Sorry...what did you say?"

He gave you an odd look, repeating his question. "I said that this cafe is always a treat to go back to, right?"

You blinked, answering with a question of your own. "Was-...Was that supposed to be a pun?"

Now it was Cú's turn to blink, pondering for a fee moments. He then chuckled, the light sound making you smile as butterflies danced in your stomach. "I guess it was! I mean, the sweets here are incredible."

His eyes searched around the cafe, and your traitorous mind whispered that he was waiting for that extroverted waiter to come back, because unlike you they could keep a steady conversation with him without tripping over their own words like the failure they are -

"(Y/N)."

You returned your focus to Cú at his tone, a small frown on your face. The odd look was back on his face as crimson orbs scrutinized you. "What's wrong?"

You tensed. "Wh- ...Uh, nothing's wr- "

"Don't lie to me, (Y/N)." The intensity of his stare was still there, but now some exasperation was mixed into it. "You always occupy your hands with something when there's something on your mind."

Sure enough, you looked down to see that you were playing with the strings of your black hoodie. You had chosen dull colors so that you didn't stand out, while Cú wore a yellow sweatshirt and light blue jeans that you, admittedly, was better than the eye-damaging but endearing Hawaiian shirt he always had on hand; he stood out, and you blended in.

You wanted to scream. No! This was supposed to be the outing where you looked after Cú and coddled him, reassuring him with soft words and hand holding and so much more -

But you messed it up, like always, and he should honestly just dump your stupid ass already.

"O-Oi, I didn't mean to make you upset by that!" Cú had searched for a way to reassure you, since you looked tense enough to simply break at the slightest misstep. "It's just...I want to know what you're thinking, that's all. What's up?"

Your mind raced a mile a minute. Okay, you were definitely overreacting, but you couldn't stop yourself from spiralling further. Your mouth decided to betray you by blurting out, "Why are you even here?"

Ouch. You scrambled for a remedy, but it was too late. You watched a flicker of hurt cross his face before the confusion set in, and at this point you were mortified.

"I-I mean - !" You spoke frantically, frustrated with yourself. Why did you say it like that? Of course he got the wrong idea! Your hands balled into fists, pausing their motions.

Everything was falling apart, and it was because you couldn't muster up even a scrap of courage to tell him properly.

"I phrased that wrong. Oh god, I didn't - I didn't mean - "

"(Y/N)." You looked up. Cú gave an exasperated huff, but he was smiling. "Seriously, it's cool. I understand; just chill out for a sec, and tell me when you're ready."

"Why?!"

Your second outburst shocked him. He opened his mouth to continue, but you weren't waiting for a response; you figured hey, may as well drive the stake in further.

"Cú, you're so...vibrant. You're vibrant, understanding, way smarter than Gilgamesh gives you credit for, exuberant, witty, confident, encouraging, endearing, and just...so much more. Looking at you is like looking at a literal miniature sun, because you stand out and despite the odds being stacked against you, you somehow manage to find the silver lining in a bleak situation.

"Meanwhile, I'm...not nearly as amazing. I'm pretty forgettable in a sea of faces, I'm quiet, awkward, clumsy, I make at least seven mistakes each day, insecure, overbearing, bad with words, and I'm nowhere near as confident as you are. I usually bring the mood down, and I have low self-esteem."

Cú really looked like he wanted to say something, but was restraining himself. You continued, not seeming to notice his struggle.

"Seeing you talk to the waiter from before made me realize that I...I could never be as good as you. Well, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't know why you're dating me when there's other people like the waiter who could easily hold a conversation with you. There's so many wonderful people out there who would be better, and I always screw things up and cause you more trouble than you need since you always have so much on your plate already - "

"I chose you."

"Hah?" You stopped, gaze snapping back up to meet his. Cú's eyes were narrowed, his mouth a thin line as he glared.

You swallowed. Did...Did you just piss off the Cú Chulainn?

"I chose you." He repeated. "You, and no one else. Honestly, (Y/N), what am I going to do with you?"

You closed your mouth, a pained expression quickly making itself known on your face. Yet again, you made him comfort you instead of the other way around -

"Since you don't see what I do, I'm gonna have to pound it into that pretty little head of yours." Pink dusted across your cheeks as his irritated expression gave way to the grin you knew belonged to him and only him. It was sharp and wild, yet filled with so much glee and kindness that you slowly began to unwind your tightly balled hands.

"Yeah, you may be all of those things, but so what?"

"...Huh?" You peered at him, dumbfounded. Didn't...Didn't that just prove your point?

"Nope, it's my turn to talk." Cú held up a hand, and you vaguely registered your food being put in front of you and a "Have a nice day" in favor of listening to your boyfriend.

"If a human didn't have their flaws, then they wouldn't be human, now would they?" He continued. "Which, by the way, I find yours adorable. You're sarcastic and witty once you get enough confidence, mischievous, think more with your brain than rely on instinct, and you have such a big heart that there's no way a sane person could hate you.

"(Y/N), you look around and you see so much more than I think I could ever, and then the most breathtaking look gets into your eye as you appreciate what you're seeing. The best part is that it happens randomly; what I wouldn't look twice at, you take into your hands and go over it with a lot of care. You'd think that you were holding a baby bird with a broken wing from how you hold things. You have bursts of optimism that come and go, and when they do it's hard to even get mad at you.

"Most of all, (Y/N), you...ground me." He scratched his cheek lightly, looking over to the side.

You gaped. Was he...embarrassed? Each compliment had you sinking further in your chair, hands covering your beet red face.

"Yeah, you bring the mood down, but...not in the way you think. Ah, damnit, why is this so hard to say?! ...You're calming, and you help me not get too carried away with whatever the hell I'm doing. Imagining myself without you here is impossible at this point."

"Cú, just -...just stop, goddamnit," You groaned into your hands, wanting nothing more than to melt into a puddle and evaporate. "I-I get it, you love me. But...why the compliments?"

Cú rolled his eyes, leaning over to pry your hands away and giving you a quick but loving peck on your forehead. "Like I said, I had to beat it into your skull somehow. Don't you ever think that you're not worthy, or some dumb bullshit like that. Despite my flirting, I'm a loyal guy; I wouldn't leave you."

You stared at him. "Loyal...like how you were staring at that one couple's asses on the way here."

You didn't even realize that you didn't stutter through that entire sentence. Cú laughed at your retort, at least having some bit of shame to look sheepish. "What? When you see an ass that doesn't lie, you can't help but admire it."

"Cú!" You were laughing at this point too (since he was right - their asses were fine), but you still lightly punched his shoulder from across the table.

He grinned, a twinkle in his eyes. "There's the (Y/N) I know and love."

You spluttered. "Cú Chulainn, I swear if you say one more sappy thing - "

He reached over to hold your hand, making you pause. "Yeah, about earlier? You're overthinking - I'm yours. That's all I want to be."

This time, you were the one to lean over the table (and your untouched food) to kiss him.

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