#coffee yoga sleep repeat books

[alwaysjustmina]

Aloe Vera, Nutmeg, Papyrus?

Oh yay!! Asks!! I love! Thank you!

aloe vera ⇢ what’s something (mundane) you really want to experience in life?

To just be able to sit and be. Not to feel I owe anyone, anything. If I could spend the day doing a yoga or meditation sesh and the go to a coffee shop and write all day...then have the evening plans all taken care of, that would be amazing. Stupid but I feel like I'm pulled in 20 directions.

nutmeg ⇢ how’s your room/home decorated? do you have a specific theme or style going on?

So most of my home is pretty modern, all whites and blues, but my office is all Ghost and things I love, I have the big Ikea bookshelves, with books and and collectibles on them. The amount of fanart on my walls is crazy. A comfy wing back chair I love.

papyrus ⇢ if you put your ‘on repeat’ playlist on shuffle, what’s the first song that comes up? what do you like about it / associate it with?

Alkaline by Sleep Token

Ahh I love this song, it's so relaxing and heedy. I used it in one of my fics as something Rain dances to and yum. I love it!

Thank you again for the ask. I really appreciate the distraction!

[kyanitesaphire]

Lightning In A Bottle chapter 11

When Spencer awoke in the morning, he was alone in Éclair’s bed, the sheets slightly cool where she once lay. He sat up, climbed out of bed, and checked down the hall. The bathroom door was open, indicating it was vacant. He peered into Lurch’s room and saw it was empty too. He descended the stairs and checked the kitchen and living room for her. When he checked out the back window he saw her sitting on the back steps while the dogs ran amuck in the backyard. With the assurance that all was well, Spencer got to work brewing a pot of coffee and making some toast. Once he was armed with caffeine and carbs, Spencer joined Éclair on the back porch.

“Morning Hibou.” Éclair sang as she welcomed him to take a seat next to her. “ Sleep well?”

“Yes actually.” He said sounding surprised. “I haven’t slept that well in a very long time.”

“Well then I guess you’ll be catching up on a lot of sleep this weekend” she gave a playful wink before planting a kiss on his lips.

“I’m sure if you had your way I’d never sleep a wink around you if last night was any indication.” He said with a slight wince as his shirt rubbed against the still tender scratches covering his back.

“Don’t be silly. I would never deprive you of your much needed rest. You’re too cute when you sleep.” She cooed, running her fingertips along his jaw and across his lower lip. “Besides, if I did that, how would I get a repeat performance of last night? You’d be too tired to keep up!”

“I’d like to think I could improve on it.” Spencer boasted before taking a large gulp of his coffee.

“Quite the ambitious claim!”

“Ambition is one of my finest traits. I wouldn’t have earned three PhDs and three BAs without it.”

“So can I expect to see you reading books about tantric sex and the karma sutra?” Éclair joked half expecting Spencer to spit out his coffee in shock, but instead he gave her a very matter of fact response.

“I’ve already read many books on various sexual practices including the karma sutra. Unfortunately that knowledge only seems to get used when solving crimes involving kink communities. And you know what they say about theory versus practice.”

“So I take it you’d like to get a bit more practice in then?”

“Perhaps. Later tonight maybe.” He replied brushing her blonde and blue locks out of her face. “I figured today you might want to pay Lurch a visit. We can bring some fresh clothes for him and Yen along with the cookies Garcia made.”

“Alright, fine. We can go…..to see Yen.” She feigned reluctance and Spencer laughed at her subtle jab. “You finish your breakfast while I pack a bag for them. After that we can worry about showering.”

“Oh good, you can clean up the mess you made of my back.” Spencer said rolling his shoulders.

“Ill get started on packing. Come on boys! Time to go inside!” she hopped up and skipped merrily back into the house with the dogs in toe.

When Spencer finished his coffee and toast, Éclair was still trying to figure out what to pack for Yen and Lurch. She had several outfits splayed out on the bed, non of which seemed appropriate for the hospital. Some looked like formal attire, others looked like clubbing outfits.

“No.” Was all Spencer said as he scanned over the garments.

“No to what?” Éclair asked holding up two very different cocktail dresses.

“All of it. As someone who has been in hospitals both as a patient and as a supportive loved one numerous times, I can say with absolute certainty that nothing here is what they’ll want to wear.”

“OK….what do you suggest?” She asked casually disregarding the dresses she was holding. Spencer filed through what he assumed was Lurch’s dresser.

“Few pairs of underwear, Flannel pj pants, and loose fit tee. Until he’s discharged he’ll have to stay in those awful gowns but we can at least make sure he has fresh underwear and something to go home in.” He explained setting a small pile of clothes  on the bed.

“What about Yen?” she gestured to Yen’s dresser.

“Yoga pants or track pants, casual tees or tank tops and a sweater. Basically think ‘could they comfortably wear it to bed but still hit the corner store in it?’”

“If you say so.” Éclair shrugged, pulled out more suitable wardrobe choices and put everything else away. “I just figured some nice looking clothes might lift her spirits. When I’m down, dressing up nicely usually makes me feel better.”

“That’s where the cookies come in. Hospital food is disgusting. The only thing good to eat is the jello.” Spencer explained as he packed the clothes into a bag. “I’m sure you didn’t need me to remind you of that though.”

“I don’t really remember the food from my stay. It’s all a bit of a blur. I remember bits and pieces here and there, but there’s a lot of gaps and it’s out of order. DD said that’s normal though. Not everything would be converted to long-term memory during the earliest part of my recovery. ” Éclair meandered out of Lurch and Yen’s room and down the hall to her own room. “I’m going to figure out what I want to wear. Meet you in the bathroom .”

Spencer stripped out of his pajamas, noting the fine red speckled lines littering the inside of his shirt from the scratches. Fortunately the bleeding was very minimal and didn’t seep through. When Éclair opened the bathroom door, she was confronted with the sight of Spencer’s clawed up back as well as the deep purple marks on his neck and shoulders in the mirrors reflection. She did her best to refrain from laughing at his expense but was less than successful.

“ I’m sorry. I guess I did go a little overboard last night.” She apologized through her smirk. “I’ll have to remember to reign it in next time.”

“It’s said that being marked in such a manner is a sign of a good lover, and the more plentiful and pronounced the marks, the more proficient the recipient is. So I guess I must have been doing something right to receive such praise.” Spencer boasted as he gestured over the various marks on his neck. With a devilish grin, Éclair gently ran her fingers over the scratches making him flinch. “ But maybe could do something about those nails.”

“Ohh! You gonna take me to get a nice manicure?” Éclair joked as she turned on the shower and began to strip down.

“That doesn’t sound like a bad idea.” He chuckled as he finished undressing himself.

As Spencer stepped into the shower and the hot water hit the tender scratches, he whined. It took him a moment to adjust to the stinging sensation, and just as he was used to the water beating down on them, he felt Éclairs hands gently washing the spaces between the wounds. He braced himself against the wall as she continued to delicately clean his sensitive skin. Eventually the pain subsided enough that all he was left with was her warm touch and the throbbing memory of the previous night replaying over and over as her fingers brushed along the broken skin. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment  as his breathing became more labored. This didn’t go unnoticed by Éclair.

“Are you ok? Is it too much?” She asked moving her hands to his shoulders and trying to look him in the eye. He attempted to steady his breathing before quickly responding.

“No, I’m fine. It’s OK.” He shifted his stance to hide his predicament from her. She rested her hand on his lower abdomen and felt a familiar, tell tale flexing beneath her palm.

“I see…. So you don’t want me to give you… a hand?” she asked slowly letting her hand slide further down. As much 8as  he enjoyed the thought of the release she was more than willing to provide him, the staggering statistics regarding shower-sex related injuries were impossible for him to ignore. He gently pulled her hand away from his swollen groin and carefully coaxed her in front of him so she stood beneath the water.

“I think the tub floor is a bit too slippery for that.” Spencer said as he relished the sight of the water gently rolling down her soft curves. “Besides, it sounds like the dogs are getting lonely already. We should hurry up.”

“I suppose…” Éclair sighed, leaning against his chest and draping her arms around his neck. Spencer pressed his forehead to hers and rested his hands on her hips. “In that case, do you mind being so kind as to get my back for me?”

Zeus and Raijin waited impatiently outside the bathroom for the amorous couple to re-emerge. Their tails anxiously slapping the floor and walls as they paced restlessly. Éclair shooed them away from the bathroom as she opened the door, Spencer following closely behind her.

“Okay, okay! We’re out! Settle down!” she called out as she herded them down the stairs. “I can’t leave you boys alone for five minutes without you losing your minds!”

Spencer started to chuckle at her remark until he realized how true the sentiment was. This posed a problem.

“Uh oh…” he muttered mostly to himself but loud enough to be clearly audible. Éclair looked back to him hoping he would clarify his concerns. “ Even I had my car here for us to take, they wouldn’t fit in it…” he added to which she nodded in agreement. “ we can’t take them on the bus and Bethesda is too far to walk…” Éclair continued to nod clearly not fully grasping what Spencer was trying to say. “what are we going to do about them when we head to the hospital?” he asked. Éclair hummed and hawed, pondering the quandary before her. She picked up her phone and absent mindedly fanned it between her thumb and fingers. She looked down at the device and the gears in her head began to turn faster. An epiphany. She opened up her contacts and pulled up the number of a certain eager ginger, tapping the call now button.

“ Hey! I have an odd request for you if you’re free….do you like dogs?......big ones. ….. yeah, well you see Lurch got hurt and hes in the hospital. We were going to go see him but I can’t leave the boys home by themselves. …….. Hibou. ….”

Spencer could only hear one side of the call for the most part. That was until she uttered her pet name for him. Suddenly he could hear a high pitched squeal from the overly excited person on the other end, although he wasn’t able to make any sense of what they were squealing about.

“yes yes yes, that’s all good. …..No, that won’t be necessary. I think you can handle it on your own…. Ok maybe one other, but that it. …OK…I’ll see you in a few. Bye.”  With that Éclair disconnected the call. “ There. Not a problem anymore.”

“And who exactly did you call?”

“I guess you could call her one of my sisters?” she replied with uncertainty. “ Do you remember when I told you about the friends I made that said they knew me form before?” Spencer nodded as he listened to her explanation. “She’s one of them. They’re all anxious to meet you….well all the girls are at least. Dauphin is kina hard to read at times, but I get the feeling he’s unsure about you.”

“I see. Well hopefully I can live up to the hype.” Spencer said preparing another cup of coffee for himself. Dauphin…that’s a highly unusual name… do all of you ‘sisters’ have unusual or uncommon names as well?” Éclair shrugged.

“Are Etoile, Luna, Ciel, and Blanche unusual names?”

“ They’re not exactly the most common names, but definitely not unheard-of….they’re all French.” Spencer noted. “Their names translate to Star, Moon, Sky, White… and Prince.”

“You know French?” Éclair asked in bewilderment.

“I know a lot of languages. Admittedly, I can read them more proficiently than I can speak them.” Spencer checked the time on the microwave and inspected the box of pill packets. “Here, you’re due for your meds.” He said passing her the next pack in the strip. Instinctively, Éclair put her hands up to catch the pills, but unlike Lurch, Spencer didn’t toss them at her. He simply held them out to her in his hand, waiting for her to take them. She accepted them and poured herself a glass of water to take them with.

While they waited for their dog sitter to arrive, Éclair poured two large dishes of food and water out for Zeus and Raijin, and Spencer programed alarms on his phone for her medication times.

 It wasn’t long before there was a rapid knock at the door sending the dogs into a frenzy. Éclair rushed to the door and let their guests in.

“Hibou! They’re here!” Éclair called out as she helped her sisters put their shoes away while the boys eagerly welcomed the new visitors. Spencer made his way to the door, nervously smoothing out his hair and clothes before appearing around the corner.

 It was only dawning on him now that he was about to meet his girlfriends family.

“Oh my God! He’s even cuter in person!” Spencer had barely processed seeing Ciel before she launched herself at him and wrapped her arms around him in a crushing and constricting embrace. Éclair could see the discomfort written all over his face.

“ Sorry, I probably should have warned both of you. Ciel here doesn’t really do boundaries.” Éclair explained as she gently peeled Ciel away. “ And this is Etoile. She doesn’t really speak much…or… well… at all.” When Spencer’s arms were finally liberated, he gave his signature wave and straight line smile and Etoile reciprocated the gesture.

“ You must be Éclair’s…uh… sisters?” Spencer wasn’t sure if that’s how he should refer to them given the complexity of their relationship, but both Ciel and Etoile nodded in agreement. “She speaks fondly of you. It’s nice to meet you.” Etoile began gesturing what Spencer assumed to be some sort of sing language but he didn’t recognize any of her motions. Seeing the confused expression on his face, she knew immediately he didn’t understand her and gave Ciel’s arm a gentle smack.

“Oh! She says ‘were very excited to finally meet you too.’” Ciel translated.

“Sorry, I noticed you were trying to sign, but I didn’t recognize your particular dialect. I’ve never seen it before.” Spencer explained , primarily addressing Etoile. Ciel and Etoile looked to each other and then to Éclair.

“It’s OK guys. Anything you would tell me, you can tell him. You can trust him.” Éclair assured her sisters.

“I take it you know what was done to Éclair? At least partially?” Ciel began. Spencer nodded. “ The same was done to us with varying degrees of success and side effects. One of which cost Etoile her hearing. Since it was just us, we didn’t have anyone to teach us any common sign language and no way to learn. We had to make our own. Our well being  wasn’t exactly their top priority. We may be free for the most part now, but since we don’t know everyone who played a part in what happened, we have to be careful who we put our trust in.”

 Spencer had suspected all along that Éclair hadn’t been the first or only one to endure such surgical atrocities, but he hadn’t imagined meeting any of the others. Primarily because he figured they would have most likely died.

“ Given what you’ve lived through, I can see why it’s so hard to open up and trust anyone.” He said, putting a comforting and protective arm around Éclair. “But I promise, your trust in me isn’t misplaced.” A weighted silence filled the room as a mutual understanding settled between them.

The silence only lasted a moment but even that was too long and awkward for Etoile to stomach. She gave Ciel another smack and began gesturing with a cheeky smirk on her face.

“ETOILE!! No! I’m not telling them that!” Ciel shrieked, trying to mask her laughter.

“ What did she say?” Éclair asked eager to be in on the joke.

“Nothing that needs repeating.” Ciel replied trying to wave off Etoile’s motions “Maybe we can talk about it over a girls night, but in the meantime you two have somewhere to be don’t you?”

“She’s right, I’ll grab everything while you get your things on and let them know of any specific care instructions for the dogs.” Spencer said excusing himself from the room.

“Once it’s just us girls though, you owe us details.” Ciel decreed pointing to her neck. Etoile smacked Ciel harder and began gesturing as though she was suffering some grand injustice . “ I really don’t think he'd be too comfortable with the show part of show and tell. So you’ll just have to settle for the tell portion.”

Etoile gave an exaggerated pout in response to that comment.

Éclair quickly donned her boots and set out Spencer’s shoes. When he returned, she took the bags from him so he could get his footwear on while she gave the dogs their kisses. Zeus didn’t wait for Spencer to finish what he was doing before thrusting his muzzle into his face affectionately.

“Alright, let’s hit the road before Zeus insists I need to kiss your sisters before leaving.” Spencer said giving the dogs a quick scratch and opening the door.

“We wouldn’t say no!” Ciel joked as Etoile puckered her lips. Spencer wasn’t sure how to respond to the jest meanwhile Éclair just laughed it off as she walked out the door.

[darkjsmn]

The Exam Season Slow

15.1.2025

Where I live, the exams don't start until after New Year's Eve. Last year, during my first semester at uni, I considered this great. It meant that I had extra two weeks or so between the end of the semester and New Year's to study. Now I'm not so sure its as exciting as I thought.

I spent the entire fall term in a rush. I got a new job, which was great, but it meant I had to wake up at 5 a.m. three days a week. I took up two courses on English Literature - which was also great, but they required me to read a book a week each. And I couldn't be slacking in the other courses either; there were assignments, homework, readings, and revision to do. This was also the first term without midterms, so I had no motivation to revise throughout the term and let it pile up. I still came home over the weekends, during which I tried to balance the time I spent with all of my loved ones and the time I spent on schoolwork. Needless to say, I struggled, and most of the times I put school before family, since the weekends were the only time I could get a proper, long-ish study session in.

My average school day looked like this: I woke up, made breakfast, made myself a coffee to go and took of for work. During the 40 minutes commuting I either studied (If I was in a real rush), or just listened to something, trying to keep myself awake. I usually worked 7-11, sometimes 8 a.m. to 1 p.m. On average, I would get in around 15k steps during a single shift.

After work I rushed back to the city centre. Some days I had to go straight to school, which meant eating lunch on public transport, and if I had yoga that day, I also had to carry around a yoga mat for the entire day. I'm not complaining though, since this yoga class was the only time in a week when I could properly calm down, even if it was for just a few minutes.

If I had time between work and class, I ate lunch home. Sometimes I would just watch a TV show and rest for a bit, but as the end of the term was getting closer and all of my piled-up work was due, during the hour and a half that I had free for lunch I had to study.

The classes were great. I will probably always be amazed at how exciting life can get when you study it in depth. Every week I felt so grateful for it. Although I did accidentally fall asleep during class sometimes, but that was kind of inevitable.

I would usually get home at around 6, sometimes later. I unpacked - and packed again for the next day - and took a much needed shower. I made myself dinner as well as prepared food for the next day: I had to pack my lunch sometimes, and everytime I needed to pre-cut my fruit for breakfast, so I wouldn't waste time and wake up my roomates in the morning.

After dinner, I studied, responded to any messages, and went to sleep, so I could repeat te whole process again the next day. Yay!

So you can probably understand that once all of that was finally over when the term ended, I had to change something. This was an unsustainable way of life, and I have been straining myslelf like this for 3 months straight. I couldn't just jump right into studying for the exams - not after neglecting my friends, boyfriend and family for weeks, and don't even get me started on how much I neglected myself; my health, mental and physical.

So in the end I had to take the exam season slow. Lots of teas - to keep me company, and to keep me caffeinated. Warm, fuzzy socks, christmas music, apples with cinnamon. Turning off the laptop to go play a board game with my family. Some days not using the laptop at all.

Somehow all that hard work I did during the term paid off. As the exam season comes to an end (There is only one last exam to take and an essay to write), I am starting to realise that some changes will have to be made. I know how much I can endure now (and its a lot, apparently), but I don't want to push myself to the limits anymore. I hope that the exam season will just slowly and smoothly transform into the spring term, with no more rush. I will take things slowly now, resting properly.

[peralta-guaranteed]

Would you do any early peraltiago just hanging out being all new and scary but also comfortable and defintly end game.

Two weeks.

It's been two weeks since that chaos of a first date.

And, okay, he has to admit he doesn't have many relationships that ever passed that timemark to compare it to, but he's pretty sure none of the few who did ever felt like this. Or went to this level after less than fifteen days.

Amy was already in her pyjamas as she opened the door for him when he knocked on it after his shift, and he quickly shed his jeans and flannel for the comfort of shirts and boxers while she divided up the take away he brought on their plates. They'd chatted about their days at work, as if they hadn't sat across from each other when everything happened anyway, and Amy excitedly told him that the new book she'd been waiting on had finally come in the mail today, so that's what she pulled out when they settled on the couch and started the tv up. Her plate perched on her thighs as she scooched back on the cushions and started reading, and he was sure she didn't even notice half of the food she was shovelling into her mouth as her eyes stayed glued to the pages, so he kept a few bites of all the dishes on his plate to the side in case she'd later complain about not getting 'that perfect gyoza bite' she'd been craving all day.

And then the silence had started.

Well, it wasn't exactly silence. The tv was running some property show, and his phone would occasionally bling with a new message or twitter notification, and Amy had this habit of scratching along the pages every time she turned them. But it was quiet.

And quiet wasn't good, not in his mind. Quiet meant the suppressed rage after an unfinished fight hanging in the air, or soft sobs from another room while the cartoon laugh track from the tv tried to distract him. Quiet meant 'I'm done', in every bad sense of that phrase.

Quiet made him want to fill the empty space with as much noise as he could to drown it out.

But he knew how much Amy hated to be interrupted while reading. And what would be even worse than quiet would be her fiery stare up from those pages she was lost in, that piercing look that made him tremble long before they were even friends, when he'd receive it a lot more.

So he'd stayed quiet, too, set his attention to the new house the tv was currently showing and how absolutely horrid it was for that price range, while his mind worked overtime to convince him that maybe quiet wasn't so bad.

Quiet could be comfortable. There was no need for chatter between them anymore, and thinking back, it hadn't been needed for quite a while even before those two amazing weeks. They could sit and just be, enjoy each other's presence while doing their own thing, sometimes breaking through with a little Hey or a nod and a showing of a phone screen, or even the soft touch of fingers on arms to get the other's attention.

Amy's feet shuffle against him as if to prove that point, while she puts her finished plate on the side table without taking her eyes off of the book. He lifts them up when they hit his thigh, stretching her legs out straight across his lap and hearing the involuntary sigh of relief as her muscles unclench. She turns another page as his hands wrap around the fuzzy warm socks, press into the arch of them and start massaging.

Quiet can be good. Quiet lets him hear the soft noises she makes with every new press of his thumbs, sounds she herself probably doesn't hear. He knows them well from lying next to her in bed, when she's deep asleep and starting her little routine of whistles and peeps that are too adorable to be described.

Two weeks, and he recognises the sounds of her sleeping better than some police codes he's been learning for almost a decade. Two weeks, and they're just sitting there in silence, a whole evening spent on nothing but being together.

He looks up from her fuzzy feet to her face, still deep in the world of her book. At her usually perfect ponytail turned into a messy bun, no trace of makeup on her face, her lips being chewed on while she seems to hit a very tense part of the story. The light brown stain on the shoulder of her NYPD sweatshirt that he knows is from some coffee from ages ago and that she's been fighting to get out, but it's probably burned into the very DNA of the shirt by now. The soft curve of the thick fabric around her - knowing all about the even softer curves that hide underneath it too - down to that little tear in the side-stitch of her yoga pants, turning them from actual workout clothes into sleepwear.

No one, he thinks, not at two weeks or any other time frame, has seen her like this. Her family, maybe, parts of it - she wouldn't dare wear broken or dirty clothes in front of her mom, that he knows for sure.

She looks so beautiful without any pretense, he thinks. And something else, something that's been stuck in his throat for two weeks and needs to be swallowed down a whole lot longer if he wants to make this work.

Three little words that absolutely terrify him.

He’s not Rosa. He’s said it to more than just three people.

But not that many more.

His Nana and mom, of course, got to hear it a lot. Gina too, even though she sometimes rolled her eyes at it and scoffed. Charles, in a buddybuddy way. He’s dropped it as a joke or an oversimplification a lot, but that’s different, isn’t it? That’s not what it really means, when you say them like that, like a single statement.

Claire, the clever girl from NYU he met during his academy training, who Gina later ‘ruined financially and emotionally’ when they figured out she’d been cheating on him pretty much the entire relationship.

Sofia.

He knows now that that one maybe doesn’t count, either. It had felt wrong the second it had left his lips, even as he repeated it. It wasn’t really a feeling - it was a sense of panic, realising that things were going wrong, things were breaking, and he had to fix it, stop it, patch it up somehow, and the only thing he could think of was that. But it wasn’t true. That’s not how it was supposed to feel.

This. This, he thinks as he looks at Amy’s tongue slip out just a tad as she turns another page, this is what it’s supposed to feel like.

Like lying in a warm bath, feeling the water slip over your face as you slide under completely, every bit of your skin being heated. Like the complete absence of nerves, feeling like you could fall back at any second, because there’s always, without question, someone there to hold you up. Like that excited glimmer of joy in your chest, feeling like you’re embarking on a journey you’ve been planning for ages when all you’re doing is seeing someone you see almost every day.

I love you, he thinks and swallows it down quickly again. I love you and it’s crazy, it shouldn’t make sense, it’s been two weeks and also five years and also forever. I love you and I didn’t think this is what it feels like, I didn’t know it, I didn’t think I’d ever get to feel it like this. I love you and I know that is never going to change and I know there’ll never be anyone else, but if I say it now it will break and the quiet won’t be comfortable anymore. It will just be deafening.

-*-

She doesn’t consciously notice him starting to massage her feet - something that’s become too much of a wonderful constant already to be acknowledged every time - but she does notice when he stops.

She looks up, then, and notices Jake is staring at her with half-lidded eyes and a smile on his face, a smile that’s so soft and, as of yet, still slightly unfamiliar to her. She knows his grin too well, remembers all his guffaws, even knows about his truly excited smile, and by now also the soft turn of lips reserved for his mom and Gina sometimes, but this smile is still so new.

She doesn’t think anyone but her has ever seen it, either.

A realisation that makes her heart leap, then, completely pulled from the fantasy world of the book she’d been diving into back to reality. A glorious reality, really. Sitting here with Jake, her feet on his boxers, his soft cotton shirt clinging to his shoulders while his fingers press into her skin. That smile on his face, the smile for her, only for her.

Two weeks, and now that she thinks back, she’s seen that smile every day. Hitting her like a sledgehammer during her awkward stammers at the first few dates, making her stumble while walking through Central Park hand in hand. Caught in a funny selfie of them in front of some weird statues they found there.

They’d quickly shed the date-routine of outside and traded it for the comfort of their homes, though, and she’d excused it with the fact that they were more often than not exhausted from work, and spending time together was just easier in PJs and with trashfood than planning an outfit for a fancy restaurant. But maybe it was something else, too, something that didn’t need all the extravagance and facade of special dates. Something comfortable and sheltering and good.

Still, it maybe shouldn’t dissolve into completely ignoring him in favor of some stupid book.

“I can finish this some other time.” She says, softly, and watches the smile slowly fade from his face. “If you want to chat?”

“No, no.” He shakes his head, but also climbs over to settle against her side, his arms around her ribs and his head fitting perfectly into the curve of her shoulder, and that’s a mixed message if she’s ever seen one. “Keep reading. You’ve been waiting for that book for weeks.”

“It’s still gonna be here tomorrow.” And so will you, and the day after that, and the day after, and hopefully forever, she thinks, but she knows what’s more important as her fingers start carding through his hair.

“Read, Santiago.” He mumbles in a deep voice, and it makes her laugh, but she does reopen the book she’s been holding closed with one finger slipped in between the pages.

And so she continues, only half diving back into her fantasy world, the other half firmly locked in place by his hands sliding up and down her waist, his breath trailing over her skin down into the opening of her sweatshirt, his warmth radiating from her side all over her.

She can feel his warmth growing, and the breath calming, slipping down into that soft rhythm she knows well from her bedroom as his hands still. And when she looks down next, Jake’s eyes are closed, his face gone slack and his mouth open in a little pout as he starts those little rumbling sounds from his throat that she knows mean he’s far, far gone already.

She’s seen him asleep before their two weeks together, all balled up on the break room couch after a few overnighters, slumped into a chair or spread out over the uncomfy single bed in their stakeout holeout. She’s always been fascinated about this over-animated, noisy creature turning all soft and pliable and calm, his face morphing into an even younger impression of himself, if that’s even possible for a baby-faced adult like him. But it hits differently when it’s so much closer, when she knows she can make his eyebrows scrunch up and slacken again with her fingers scratching behind his ear.

They’ve only had two weeks, and she already knows aspects of him she never knew existed. She’s seen him at his best and his worst, and found both sides perfect.

Two weeks with anyone else, and they’d often not even seen her apartment yet. Two weeks, and she was still dressing up in outfits she didn’t even think about in her normal life, watching makeup tutorials online to perfect a smokey eye, making sure not to whine too much about her day at work and check off those interesting talking points she’d mentally collected instead while they ordered at whatever nice restaurant she’d picked for them.

Yet here she is, two weeks in, in the most ratty outfit she could find, her hair in desperate need of a wash and the feeling of a pimple making itself known on her chin, Jake in his shirt and boxers pressed against her side, softly snoring after the tough day they’ve both had.

She wonders why it feels so different, and yet not wrong at all, from all the other relationships she’s had to this point.

Maybe because it’s not as new as they make it out to be. Sure, their official relationship started almost exactly two weeks ago, but everything they have started so much earlier.

He was there when she created the coffee stain on her sweatshirt, dropping her head down with a grown on her table after they’d gone over the possible alibis after hours at her place for the hundredth time. He’d poked his finger into the tear on her yoga pants after a Sergeant-mandated work out with a laugh before she’d even noticed it herself. He’s held her hair back in even grodier states while she was kneeling over a toilet at Shaw’s, glad for their unisex approach for the dinky, dirty little closet they called WC that meant he could follow her when she stormed off from the bar.

Maybe that’s why she didn’t feel nearly as freaked out or anxious about their settling of the relationship as she would have if it happened with anyone else. He was already settled into her life, a comforting constant she could rely on. It wasn’t much of a leap from that kind of partnership to a romantic one, she reasons, obviously it would need less of an adjustment time.

And maybe that was just one of the reasons why it felt so right. Maybe there was something else, too, bubbling up her throat and slipping out into the safety of their silence right now, with him deep asleep on her.

“I love you.” She whispers, and she knows she’ll have to wait a lot longer to say that to his conscious self. She knows he’s difficult with emotions, and closes up faster than any wild clam if threatened with ‘seriousness’. And she also knows, with a twinge to her heart, that he has more than valid reasons for that - that he’s barely ever heard or said those words without them immediately crumbling in his hands.

“I love you.” She repeats, carding through his hair one more time to a soft sigh from him. “And it’s safe. I promise. It’s safe with me.”

His head turns, digs a little deeper into her shoulder, and while she knows she shouldn’t tell him yet if she wants this to work, she hopes he hears it at least a little bit. That it settles into his mind while he sleeps, makes him feel as comfortable and sure as she feels whenever she’s with him. Makes it a little easier for him to take that step and say it back some day, when she dares to try it out loud for real.

Whenever that is, she’ll be there. It’ll be worth waiting for, she knows, just to hear it again and again after that.

Hopefully for the rest of their lives.

[magicofsimplestories]

Supernatural 2.0: #28 Bunker Life

[Back to Foreword and #1 Meet Kira or #27 Old Scars]

She showed stubbornness back at her San Myshuno apartment. Certainly. How else could it be? She’s Kira Fletcher. She is stubborn. She has her own opinion on everything. She knows what she wants and what she needs. That’s exactly why she followed the Winchesters. As for the demonstrated stubbornness, it was nothing but a first reaction to Dean’s bossiness. 

She knew that alongside with the Winchesters she was on the radar of every demon in the world - Eve made sure of that. Yes, the three of them did have angelic runes carved into their bones by Castiel, that protected them from demon tracking. However, touring public places had to be reduced to the minimum considering the increased number of demons dispatched all around the country. She knew that the Bunker was the safest place for her now. And she knew that nobody could tell her how much time she would spend in this warded fortress. 

So, she had to make home out of this dusky concrete-brick underground. She had everything she needed to do so in the two boxes that she had taken with her: pictures, a couple of old clothes sets, her potion-making set, her guitar, her laptop and her yoga rug - that was it. She did live in a spacious San Myshuno apartment but the most important things fitted into two boxes only - for mobility. She knew she would need it one day, and apparently she did. 

The following day Kira took a chance to get to know Sam better. Dean was nowhere to be seen. 

Whatever.

Sam showed her around and offered to have a short walk to the seaside nearby, and that’s how Kira learnt that the Bunker was located in the woods of Brindleton Bay. 

From Sam Kira learnt, that Dean appeared at Sam’s doorway only a year after the Forgotten Hollow incident, when Sam’s girlfriend was killed by a demon. That’s how the Winchester’s “demon story” started. It was the demon hunt that helped them to learn that they belonged to a Men of Letters legacy. And it was the last survived Man of Letters who gave the Bunker key to the Winchesters. 

The rest of the week Kira spent in the library, looking through all possible books and manuscripts that could contain information on Eve. The Winchesters were always around, but unlike Sam, who was showing constant friendliness towards Kira, Dean was as gloomy as a hurricane cloud. Concentrated on the content of his screen, he behaved as if Kira didn’t exist. He spoke rarely and addressed to Sam only, even if the question or the comment came from Kira first. 

She accepted his behaviour once. Twice. Thrice. But her patience had limits. He reached these limits, when he responded to her do-you-want-coffee question only after Sam repeated it to him. 

“I see,” she said dryly, stood up and left the library for her room, only to come back to the piano few hours later, after the Winchesters went to sleep. 

The music was flowing from under her fingers to the smooth white keys. New music. 

Well, new wound - new song. Winchester, you are actually the source of my fortune. 

The next morning she was heading to the kitchen, when she heard the two brothers arguing. 

“Dean, you can’t just ignore her,” Sam was saying, his voice tense and displeased. “I know the story of the two of you. But she’s here, either you accept it or not. You brought her here, for Goodness sake, Dean!”

“Because I had no choice, Sam!” screamed Dean back. “Because I put her in danger again! We shouldn’t have…”

“But we did, Dean,” cut him off Sam more calmly this time. “She’s here. You can’t go on with ignoring her. I mean, what’s the point? Yes, she is in danger now because of us. But what does it have to do with you responding to her? Apart from being completely ridiculous, it’s simply not polite to ignore her. I know how you feel towards her, Dean. And I’m certain it’s not your intention to offend her…”

“Stop,” said Dean abruptly and Kira heard the sound of a pushed chair. 

“Dean…”

“I said - stop.”

It was silly to run or hide, so Kira just stayed around the corned waiting for Dean to appear in the corridor. 

He stopped a few steps away giving her a silent meaningful look. 

“Hi,” she said in a low voice looking away. 

“Hi,” he responded after a second of hesitation, crossing his arms on his chest. His gaze was direct but not cold. 

“I wanted to have a talk with you and Sam,” went on Kira rubbing involuntarily her tattoo. “It’s about the Eve investigation.”

“Fine, let’s talk,” he responded calmly and called Sam. 

They gathered at one of the library tables. As soon as he sat down on his chair Dean concentrated on his laptop. However, this time he was giving Kira short looks of attention, while she was speaking. 

She offered to invite Elle to the Bunker. 

“I mean, if it’s not a good idea for me to go to Glimmerbrook…”

“Out of discussion,” inserted Dean making Kira give him a short look of surprise. 

“I could ask her to bring us a couple of books from the Academy,” went on Kira. 

“Is it allowed?” asked Sam doubtfully.

 “Well, technically, no, but she’s the Sage of Mischief,” responded Kira with a meaningful smirk slipping from her lips. 

“Is she to be trusted, though?” spoke Dean again, winning another curious look from Kira. 

“Elle might be the Queen of Mischief,” she responded, watching the elder Winchester. “But she is a Sage, an angel descendant, who was created to guard this world with her Mischief powers, not to destroy it. She is to be trusted, I have no doubts about it. After all, she was my only true friend in Glimmerbrook.”

[Read next: #29 Clues]

[inastrangerskiss]

the last time

Tyler Rust x OFC

content warning: a little bit of angst, a little bit of fluff

His arms wrapped around her torso. His lips on her neck. His hands pulling hers across her body. She didn’t think this was where they would end up.

She could remember the day he left her. He had to find himself. He had to find some peace within himself. She was too busy. She was too regimented. She wasn’t free enough with her time or her plans. But a few years had passed. She had tried to be more open with her schedules, cutting back on hours at the shop, moving to a new place by the beach. She learned to take deep breaths. He became more tied up, working everyday, filling every free moment with workouts and matches, missing friends and lovers more and more often.

“Don’t go.” She whispered against his shoulder. It sounded the same as the first time she had dared to plead out loud to him.

The first time he responded: “It’s not forever.”

But he had packed his bags all the same and drove away.

The days after were difficult.

Not waking up in the same bed. She would roll over to his side hoping to find his bare chest, exposed in the morning light, his hair a mess under his head. Sleep would mark his cheeks, drawing lines across his skin. The coffee pot was empty and the living room was empty, no yoga mat on the floor, no books strewn across the coffee table.

He found himself hoping he’d open his eyes to see her aimlessly staring at the ceiling beside him, still wrapped up in the duvet regardless of the heat that had or hadn’t soaked the space overnight. He would take two mugs down from the cabinet, fill the coffee maker with two cups of water only to find a realization more bitter than the black water. No one reminding him to tidy up after his morning meditations, no one to put the books back on the shelf.

They saw each other a couple times over the years. She came to his match with a new man. He went to a bar with a new girl. But every time felt like the last time. Like the last goodbye and the last kiss before walking out the door. As if no time had passed at all. There was a tender sort of pain that echoed through the air. It would enter when the other did. Tyler could be on the other side of whatever space they were in and he’d feel it in the back of his throat. She would know when her chest began to ache.

Let it go she would repeat to herself. He was never really there.

The words would play over and over until she had finally made it back to the safety of the sidewalk outside.

The moment he saw her leave he was filled with a bittersweet relief, the sort that you find when something ends that you secretly wished hadn’t.

But two years passed and they made changes. Changes that affected themselves. Changes that affected others.

She walked to the store that morning, still in sweats, sleep encircling her eyes like rings on a well loved coffee table. He had realized he needed oat milk for his tea. He lingered in the dairy aisle for a moment longer than he had planned to. Maybe it was fate drawing their lines back together, maybe it was coincidence. But for the first time in a long time, when they happened upon each other that morning, bashful smiles crossed both of their faces. She made a comment about how she would’ve gotten more dressed up if she had known she was going to see him. He told her that she looked fine. What he couldn’t manage to get out was that seeing her, looking just as she had always, all those years ago, was more of a comfort to him than anyone could ever possibly provide.

They got to talking. It was casual but it was comfortable. She mentioned picking up baking as a hobby in her spare time. She explained how she had found it therapeutic, how it had helped her “center herself” - something Tyler was always saying she needed to learn how to do. They walked to the checkout islands together. He discussed how he needed to take some time off. He had been working nonstop and it was beginning to burn him out. He told her about the road trip he was planning to take in a few weeks.

A road trip he would never end up going on.

After they paid for their items, he walked with her back to her apartment. She invited him upstairs to have coffee. She had made too much and it was just going to go to waste. Tyler couldn’t argue with that sort of logic.

Coffee became lunch and when they finally parted ways, it felt less like it had every other time. It felt less like the end and more like a beginning. Less like a “goodbye” and more like a “see you soon”.

A few months passed. And there they were, his arms around her torso, his lips on her neck, his hands pulling hers across her body. They sat like this for what felt like hours. Nowhere to be. No one to go to. Just their bed, their pillows, and their bodies. And she turned, her head meeting his shoulder.

“Don’t go.” She whispered, hoping she didn’t sound the same as the first time she had dared to utter this sentence.

But this time was different. This time her words were met with a kiss to the crown of the head, and a tightening of the gentle grasp he had on her.

“I won’t.” He murmured into the dark. “Not this time. Not again.”

[anakinskyiwalker]

i was tagged by @drunklili & @romaanovas (thank you lili & harls 🥰) to answer the following 73 questions!

my answers are under the cut!!

on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? about a 5 bc i have finals in less than a week 🥴

describe yourself in a hashtag? #stressed

if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? timothée chalamet ofc

if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? blonde

what’s one thing people don’t know about you? i’ve never broken a bone!

what’s your wake up ritual? i lay in bed for about 30 mins on my phone and then i get up and put in contacts, brush my teeth and go get breakfast

what’s your go to bed ritual? i take off my makeup and again lay in bed for about 30-45 mins on my phone before i go to sleep

what’s your favorite time of day? dusk

your go to for having a good laugh? i’ll rewatch old funny youtube videos i love

dream country to visit? i’ve always wanted to visit australia!

what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? getting my car :’)

heels or flats/sneakers? flats/sneakers for everyday wear but i looove heels in general

vintage or new? both!

who do you want to write your obituary? ryan bergara lol

style icon? ashley from bestdressed on youtube!!

what are three things you cannot live without? my phone, books and movies

what’s one ingredient you put in everything? if it works with the dish, cinnamon or vanilla

what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? timothée chalamet, audrey hepburn and james dean

what’s your biggest fear in life? dying 😬 which is inevitable so Yikes ™

window or aisle seat? window! :)

what’s your current tv obsession? brooklyn nine-nine

favorite app? my social medias

secret talent? i don’t think i have one

most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? parasailing!

how would you define yourself in three words? kind, talkative, romantic

favorite piece of clothing you own? any of my dresses

a must have clothing item that everyone should have? a denim jacket! bonus points if it’s oversized

a superpower you would want? reading minds would be cool! or to teleport- it would make things so convenient lol

what’s inspiring you in life right now? nothing in particular atm!

best piece of advice you’ve received? if it won’t impact you for the next 5 years, don’t spend more than 5 minutes worrying about it

best advice you’d give your teenage self? have some more confidence!

a book everyone should read? the harry potter series

what would you like to be remembered for? my kindness

how do you define beauty? obviously outer beauty is dependent on personal aesthetics but true inner beauty comes from being a good, kindhearted person :)

what do you love most about your body? i love my eye color 🥰

best way to take a rest/decompress? take a nice hot bubble bath ☺️

favorite place to view art? in museums or galleries

if your life was a song, what would the title be? i have no idea lol

if you could master one instrument, what would it be? the piano for sure!! i wish i knew how to play it

if you had a tattoo, where would it be? my inner wrist

dolphins or koalas? koalas

what’s your spirit animal? hehe i took a buzzfeed quiz and got shiba inu so i’m going with that

best gift you’ve ever received? ok this is going to sound weird but a box of marshmallow charms lmao. basically the story is when i was like 14 i mentioned to my friend that i wanted a box of just lucky charms marshmallows bc lucky charms are my fave and i had seen online that kylie jenner got gifted a box but when i looked to buy some i saw that they don’t actually sell lucky charms brand marshmallow only boxes?? a wasted opportunity if you ask me ANYWAYS i brought this up to my friend one day at lunch and she mentioned she would get me some for my birthday which was like months away at the time. i figured she would forget, but on my birthday i got a box of regular marshmallow charms and a kylie jenner card lmaooo and i was so happy :’)

best gift you’ve given? surprising my grandparents with a trip to LA to meet up with our family members for a few days :)

what’s your favorite board game? ooh the game of life or sorry!

what’s your favorite color? yellow 💛

least favorite color? grey

diamond or pearls? diamonds

drugstore makeup or designer? drugstore makeup

blow-dry or air-dry? both!

pilates or yoga? yoga

coffee or tea? coffee simply for the smell :)

what’s the weirest word in the english language? pulchritudinous- it’s the strangest word to mean beautiful lmao

dark chocolate or milk chocolate? milk chocolate all the way

stairs or elevators? elevators

summer or winter? SUMMER

you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? nachos babey!

a dessert you don’t like? funnel cake! i can have a bite or two but too much of it makes me feel sick

a skill you’re working on mastering? i’m always looking to better my art skill and whenever i get the chance, i practice learning how to rollerskate bc i’m not that good at it lol

best thing to happen to you today? it’s only 11 am so i’m not sure yet!

worst thing to happen to you today?procrastinating on school work 😐

best compliment you’ve ever received? i’ve been told that my presence is like the sun bc i brighten up the room with my kindness and cheerfulness and i just 🥺🥺🥺

favorite smell? vanilla or lemon

hugs or kisses? both 🥺

if you made a documentary, would it be about? SPACE

last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? rewatching forrest gump

lipstick or lipgloss? lipgloss

sweet or savory? sweet!

girl crush? zendaya, keira knightly, margot robbie, florence pugh, soairse ronan, etc

how do you know your in love? i haven’t been in love before :( so i don’t know

a song you can listen to on repeat? no better by lorde

if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? someone who’s a part of a royal family i can see what it’s like to be royal for a day lol

what are you most excited for about this time in your life? finishing up school for the semester

tagging: @tinanewt , @panhansolo, @bellamy-blakez, @lucypcvensie, @stvnrgr , @fortiesbucky , @grayson-dick , @avengays , @parkwaylines, @cinderllas, @peter-stank, @gwendolinechristie, @matthewsmurdock, @chloexmorningstar , @ganzeyiii, @wintersoeldiers, @stevebucks , @daredeviil , @jedirey , @mollyweasly , @gomez-michelle, @fnnpoe, @wespers, @louvegoods, @anxieteandbiscuits & anyone else who wants to do this :)

[peachyypositivity]

march selfcare calendar

1: set your goals for the month

2: repeat the mantra “i am strong”

3: read your favourite book

4: go hiking for 30 minutes

5: meditate for 30 minutes

6: clean your room

7: drink 8 cups of water

8: try not to procrastinate anything

9: sleep in late

10: focus at school today!

11: buy coffee for a friend or pay for the order behind you in the drive thru

12: try a new sport

13: start a gratitude journal

14: go for a walk

15: go shopping

16: no phone day

17: make a new playlist

18: reconnect with an old friend

19: spend time with someone you love

20: use a bath bomb

21: try a new hobby

22: create a reading list

23: social media free day

24: do some yoga

25: go for a jog

26: listen to a new playlist

27: do a face mask

28: read for 20 minutes

29: finish all of your homework instead of procrastinating, and get a head start on any upcoming projects or tests

30: have a group facetime with your friends

31: workout for 30 minutes

[fizzyhosh]

tagged by @kabeswaters !!!! love u big time

1. on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? .... 3

2. describe yourself in a hashtag? #onedirectionstan

3. if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? gross Harry Styles

4. if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? get ready for disappointment but the good thing is one direction would be to my musical as abba is to mamma mia

5. what’s one thing people don’t know about you? i have strong ambitions but they are outweighed by executive dysfunction so lots of adults like teachers just think I'm lazy 🤪🥴

6. what’s your wake up ritual? currently it's get up at 2pm, look at discord, snapchat, and instagram, then eat some gosh darn food

7. what’s your go to bed ritual? this is so unhealthy I know grab a snack and a soda and scroll mindlessly on social media until I get tired, get up and brush my teeth, go back to my bed and put on my sleep playlist (called sleeby) and set a time so it stops playing after I fall asleep

8. what’s your favorite time of day? despite the fact that I get up in the afternoon, it's actually like 10am that's a goooood time

9. your go to for having a good laugh? I look up Niall Horan laugh complications it genuinely works every time

10. dream country to visit? Germany or Italy

11. what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? my 19th birthday my roommates had a surprise party for me and I was so shocked and almost cried bc it was so sweet and bc made me anxious

12. heels or flats/sneakers? I thought that said heelys :(( but sneakers

13. vintage or new? vintaaaage

14. who do you want to write your obituary? uh idk hopefully none of my current family bc I don't want to die before them cause that'll mean I die young??? this question is making me overthink so I'm just gonna say Ewan Gregor and move on

15. style icon? this chick named mathilda on Instagram you might have seen her on insta or Pinterest she's a redhead but her style is brilliant

16. what are three things you cannot live without? music, dr. pepper, eggos

17. what’s one ingredient you put in everything? I sound so white but SALT I salt the heck outta everything

18. what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? Steve Irwin, Harry Styles, Freddie Mercury

19. what’s your biggest fear in life? dying while I'm taking a shower and having my family find my naked, wet, dead body falling out of love. which makes me not want to fall IN love bc then the chance of falling OUT of love becomes a possibility

20. window or aisle seat? window window window window window

21. what’s your current tv obsession? not really obsessed with anything rn but I rewatch new girl every chance I get

22. favorite app? instagram

23. secret talent? I can wiggle my ears

24. most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? i flew to New Orleans during a break with two of my friends bc they found $60 round trip tickets. We bought the tickets the day before. We literally got to NOLA at 7am and left 8pm the next day. only spontaneous/adventurous thing i have ever done

25. how would you define yourself in three words? funny, understanding, quiet

26. favorite piece of clothing you own? my overalls :'))

27. a must have clothing item that everyone should have? a jean jacket !! looks good on anyone and with anything and they're so cute

28. a superpower you would want? to make people see themselves as their loved ones see them

29. what’s inspiring you in life right now? music I'm fixated on one direction and harry styles and louis tomlinson rn of you cant tell by a lot of my answers

30. best piece of advice you’ve received? don't apologize because you like something. don't be embarrassed that you have preferences

31. best advice you’d give your teenage self? be unapologetically you. life is too short to feel guilty for having opinions.

32. a book everyone should read? me and earl and the dying girl

33. what would you like to be remembered for? being kind to all

34. how do you define beauty? kindness, humor, a sweet soul makes a beautiful person

35. what do you love most about your body? I think I'm proportional? like... my size and shape... I hate how that sounds but my overall body ,,,,,,,

36. best way to take a rest/decompress? crack open and nice cold soda and put on headphones and lay on the ground (it makes me back feel better)

37. favorite place to view art? art galleries the environment and ambiance is immaculate

38. if your life was a song, what would the title be? Everything is Outta Reach cause I fail a lot but also I'm sHORT

39. if you could master one instrument, what would it be? pianoooo

40. if you had a tattoo, where would it be? I want my forearms to be filled with random little doodle tattoos I get over time (picture louis tomlinsons right arm, like the "oops!" and skateboard, and dumb things like that)

41 dolphins or koalas? KOALAS

42. what’s an animal that represents you? .....koala. also chameleon...

43. best gift you’ve ever received? so I need to be hugging a pillow or stuffed animals to sleep and I lost some stuffed animals that I loved and were huge and my go to for hugging at night and that Christmas my brother got me a huge elephant and a body pillow to replace them and I actually cried

44. best gift you’ve given? im really bad at giving gifts but my brother searches everywhere for this book in specific print and language and after years I found one and got it for him for Christmas. he's not good at showing appreciation and excitement but I could tell that he was stoked

45. what’s your favorite board game? BETRAYL AT THE HOUSE ON THE HILL it's so complicated and so good and I love it so much

46. what’s your favorite color? yellow and red

47. least favorite color? o r a n g e I just realized it's between red and yellow make it make sense

48. diamond or pearls? diamonds

49. drugstore makeup or designer? drugstore! I don't wear makeup often enough to spend money on designer but occasionally I get some good stuff from ulta then immediately regret it and go back to my Walgreens makeup HAHA

50. pilates or yoga? yoga

51. coffee or tea? I don't drink either but I like the aesthetic of tea more

52. what’s the weirdest word in the english language? pneumonoultrascopicsiliconvolcanoconoiosos because it's the longest word in the English dictionary and it's has a very specific definition and it's so extra when I was 7 i had a friend who could spell it forwards and backwards

53. dark chocolate or milk chocolate? milk!! I only like dark chocolate if it's reisens

54. stairs or elevators? stairs I'm afraid of elevators

55. summer or winter? summer

56. you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? mac and cheese

57. a dessert you don’t like? uhhhh... umm... uh... anything with tree nuts cause I'm allergic??? I love dessert

58. a skill you’re working on mastering? I'm learning guitar !!

59. best thing to happen to you today? I woke up before 2pm

60. worst thing to happen to you today? my family all decided to a be in a bad mood today so that's super exciting to deal with :))))))

61. best compliment you’ve ever received? that I'm a really good listener

62. favorite smell? candles right after they're blown out and the air outside when it's cold. it has a smell. it DOES.

63. hugs or kisses? hugs

64. if you made a documentary, would it be about? the one direction boys' solo careers and eventual reunion when it happens

65. last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? if that includes music, louis tomlinsons album walls. but if not, ehm the martian that movie makes me cry don't come for me

66. lipstick or lipgloss? lipstick

67. sweet or savory? savory

68. girl crush? lily james

69. how do you know you’re in love? I've been trying to figure that out... I think it's when everything reminds you of them and you can completely be yourself around them and feel a sense of home and belonging.

70. a song you can listen to on repeat? greyhound by calpurnia or baby driver by simon and garfunkel

71. if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? h a r r y s t y l e s I have questions I need answered and I wanna hear unreleased HS and 1D music

72. what are you most excited for/about this time in your life? going back to school so I can be with my best friend slash future boyfriend

tagging: @lupinlongbottom @outerlacy @fortisfiliae @theseuscmander @wizardwritings

[saltlamp]

i was tagged by @florenepugh and @wintersoeldiers (thank you ashlyn and arya 🥰 sorry this is a couple days late) to answer the following 73 questions!

my answers are under the cut !!

on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? honestly about a 5, i’m working on taking better care of myself and doing all my assignments but there’s nothing good going on

describe yourself in a hashtag? #burntout 

if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? nobody 

if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? one day at a time

what’s one thing people don’t know about you? i’ve never dyed my hair

what’s your wake up ritual? i snooze my alarm until i feel mentally awake, then wash my face and brush my teeth and drink some water, get dressed and make some coffee if i feel like i need it, then get started on whatever i have to do for the day

what’s your go to bed ritual? i wash my face and brush my teeth, then if i really need to sleep i’ll take a melatonin and put lavender into my diffuser

what’s your favorite time of day? midnight

your go to for having a good laugh? john mulaney netflix specials or [fictional characters as] vine compilations

dream country to visit? anywhere in europe, but i really want to go back to peru someday

what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? i’m getting a car when i leave for college!!! a new one!!! i still can’t believe it

heels or flats/sneakers? mostly sneakers but sometimes heels make me feel badass. i’m the tallest girl in the room most of the time, so what’s a few more inches?

vintage or new? both

who do you want to write your obituary? leigh bardugo would make me seem a lot cooler than i really am and write my trauma in a beautifully sad way so... i’d love that. 

style icon? ashley from bestdressed on youtube!! (wait ashlyn SAME i’ve been subscribed to her for like three years and my style evolves with hers)

what are three things you cannot live without? my journal, my water bottle, and my airpods

what’s one ingredient you put in everything? ...salt? i don’t cook often

what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? i can’t cook so gordon ramsey, guy fieri, and my mom. their reactions would be hilarious in different ways 

what’s your biggest fear in life? abandonment but i should just learn to expect it at this point !! 

window or aisle seat? window

what’s your current tv obsession? i’m between shows at the moment so i’m rewatching she ra

favorite app? minimaList is an app i’ve used since early high school, it’s a to-do list that has a built in pomodoro timer and it’s the best thing in the world.

secret talent? not sleeping for days! that’s a joke i really should work on that... i can also move my ring finger on my right hand in a way that’s hard to describe unless you see it in person. 

most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? i’ve hiked all sorts of ~dangerous~ places

how would you define yourself in three words? pensive, quiet, loyal

favorite piece of clothing you own? my mom’s high school track hoodie fits me perfectly and i wear it all the time. i’m wearing it now

a must have clothing item that everyone should have? a denim jacket or white sneakers 

a superpower you would want? weirdly specific but i’d want to read personalities, like myers-briggs types or enneagram, upon meeting a person. 

what’s inspiring you in life right now? due dates

best piece of advice you’ve received? make one good friend and everything else will fall into place

best advice you’d give your teenage self? they’re too occupied with themselves to be thinking about you

a book everyone should read? the harry potter series

what would you like to be remembered for? kindness/loyalty

how do you define beauty? outer beauty is somewhat subjective but confidence and intelligence are two universal marks of beauty for me

what do you love most about your body? i really like my legs!

best way to take a rest/decompress? do something familiar, like journaling or taking a shower or washing dishes

favorite place to view art? museums are some of my favorite places on the planet

if your life was a song, what would the title be? no idea. oh wait, that could actually be one

if you could master one instrument, what would it be? i used to play the piano as a kid and i was seen as some kind of prodigy because of my good ear but now i can barely play it, so i’d want to get back into that

if you had a tattoo, where would it be? behind my ear

dolphins or koalas? koalas

what’s your spirit animal? a cat, 100%

best gift you’ve ever received? this is stupid but my brother got me a talking kylo ren thingy for christmas in 2015, not knowing he was further fueling my future obsession with ben solo. to this day it’s one of my favorite useless possessions

best gift you’ve given? honestly anything i give my littlest brother because every time i give him a gift he acts like it’s the best thing he’s ever seen (he’s 11)

what’s your favorite board game? CLUE!!!

what’s your favorite color? lilac, periwinkle, or red

least favorite color? orange

diamond or pearls? diamonds

drugstore makeup or designer? drugstore makeup

blow-dry or air-dry? air-dry

pilates or yoga? yoga

coffee or tea? i go through phases, so both!

what’s the weirdest word in the english language? milk. just, think about it. milk. what the heck is that. read it some more. milk. milk. milk. 

dark chocolate or milk chocolate? dark 

stairs or elevators? stairs

summer or winter? winter!!!

you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? chipotle burrito bowl

a dessert you don’t like? creme brulee

a skill you’re working on mastering? i’m working on getting better at drawing

best thing to happen to you today? i got to facetime my grandparents just a few minutes ago! i was so relieved to hear they’re doing well and nobody has covid in their nursing home :)

worst thing to happen to you today? i can’t move because of period cramps :)))))))))))

best compliment you’ve ever received? the most common compliment i get (and honestly my favorite) is that i’m a calming person to be around and very trustworthy

favorite smell? lavender, dirt (especially after rain), espresso grounds

hugs or kisses? hugs hugs hugs

if you made a documentary, would it be about? personality types, or maybe differences between modern cultures, or maybe medieval castles

last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? i recently watched an adam driver interview from 2017 and since i’m on my period and it’s sad ben solo hours, i cried

lipstick or lipgloss? lipgloss

sweet or savory? both

girl crush? zendaya and florence pugh

how do you know you’re in love? i’ve never been in romantic love before, but i can tell i love someone when i feel comfortable enough around them to be myself and talk about my problems

a song you can listen to on repeat? there’s one piece of classical music that i could listen to FOREVER and it WILL be playing at my funeral: albinoni’s adagio in G minor (with organ along with the other strings tho)

if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? i wouldn’t switch lives with anyone but if i could be something else for a day i’d be a voice actor or maybe a hermit living in the middle of nowhere centuries ago

what are you most excited for about this time in your life? graduating high school and starting university! i’m more nervously excited but still...

tagging: @omensgood @acrookedsaint @afterglowacoustic @sunstarkov if you guys want!

[kinglegolas]

i was tagged by @romaanovas​ & @florenepugh​ (thanks harls & ashlyn! 💖) to answer the following 73 questions!

answers are under the cut x

on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? well there’s not really a lot going on at the moment and idk wtf i’m doing so i would say a low 5 lol

describe yourself in a hashtag? #couldbeworse

if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? oof chris evans i guess

if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? idk lol

what’s one thing people don’t know about you? most people irl know this, but i donated my eggs to my cousin a couple of years ago. the kid is the spitting image of my brother lol

what’s your wake up ritual? i lay in bed for a while on my phone then i get up, use the bathroom, wash my face & brush my teeth (if it’s the weekend or i don’t have work i might even have breakfast lol) (also at the moment since i’m literally just at home all the time, i’ll shower in the morning before i brush my teeth (i’m usually a night showerer))

what’s your go to bed ritual? i might watch a tv and then spend way too long on my phone, realise i should’ve gone to sleep hours ago and then spend ages trying to fall asleep lol

what’s your favorite time of day? evening

your go to for having a good laugh? brooklyn nine nine probably

dream country to visit? i wanna go to the us (specifically florida so i can go to the wizarding world of harry potter), but i’d also love to go back to australia

what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? umm i can’t think of like any times i’ve had a surprise, but i guess there was the time when i really wanted niall horan m&g tickets but missed out, then someone was selling hers and was gonna give it to me but then didn’t (thank GOD bc she ended up scamming her OWN FRIEND, bitch that could been ME getting scammed!), but then one of my friends ended up having a spare that she sold me and the seats we had were MIDDLE FRONT ROW. also it was the day after my birthday and niall wished me happy birthday and it was the best even though i was so awkward when i met him lol. does this count as a surprise even though i did have to pay her back coz i mean i didn’t expect the seats to be middle front row and also didn’t even expect to get m&g at all lol

heels or flats/sneakers? flats/sneakers, my go to is my white converse, love those lil bitches. i do think heels are gorgeous but ouch my feet

vintage or new? both!

who do you want to write your obituary? idk

style icon? zendaya probably

what are three things you cannot live without? books, internet, family

what’s one ingredient you put in everything? honestly just mixed herbs lol, depending on the dish of course

what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? chris evans, sebastian stan & harry styles

what’s your biggest fear in life? dying lol. also spiders

window or aisle seat? window

what’s your current tv obsession? terrace house

favorite app? instagram

secret talent? it’s not that secret? but i can sing ok i guess... don’t love to actually sing in front of people though lmao

most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? idk, probably just going to sydney with my cousin? w/o like actual adult supervision lol

how would you define yourself in three words? sarcastic, nice, homebody

favorite piece of clothing you own? hmm, maybe this blue jumper i’m wearing rn

a must have clothing item that everyone should have? denim jacket

a superpower you would want? teleportation! imagine the places you could go and the money you would save! alternatively, general magic would be cool (hp style, then i could apparate too lol)

what’s inspiring you in life right now? uhh nothing really lol

best piece of advice you’ve received? idk

best advice you’d give your teenage self? be more confident and do more fun things

a book everyone should read? the harry potter series

what would you like to be remembered for? being a nice, good person

how do you define beauty? i think beauty is different for everyone, especially in terms of aesthetics and appearances, but there’s also inner beauty which i think comes from generally being a good person

what do you love most about your body? idk? my eyes maybe?

best way to take a rest/decompress? self-care! face masks, baths, listening to music or reading

favorite place to view art? galleries i guess

if your life was a song, what would the title be? idk lol

if you could master one instrument, what would it be? piano! i took lessons for like two terms when i was in primary school but gave up bc i though the songs i was learning were boring and basic BUT I WISH I’D JUST STUCK WITH IT! also if i could actually get better at guitar, that would be nice too

if you had a tattoo, where would it be? i already have one on my upper back but i would love for it to be changed into something else, otherwise maybe below my inner elbow?

dolphins or koalas? koalas

what’s your spirit animal? i just took some random quiz and got deer so that i guess lol

best gift you’ve ever received? my mum got me a guitar for my 15th birthday (which, by the way, was almost 10 years ago and i caNNOT believe that)

best gift you’ve given? i made two of my best friends scrapbooks about our friendships for both of their 21st birthdays

what’s your favorite board game? game of life or cards against humanity

what’s your favorite color? lilac

least favorite color? brown

diamond or pearls? diamonds

drugstore makeup or designer? bit of both

blow-dry or air-dry? both

pilates or yoga? yoga

coffee or tea? coffee but i also love tea

what’s the weirdest word in the english language? lackadaisical

dark chocolate or milk chocolate? milk chocolate babey

stairs or elevators? elevators

summer or winter? summer

you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? nachos!!

a dessert you don’t like? banana split. i HATE bananas

a skill you’re working on mastering? i can’t really think of anything in particular?

best thing to happen to you today? it’s like 12:30pm and i’ve not done much, but i’ll be watching prisoner of azkaban with @thewinterrsoldier​ soon so that’ll be fun 😊

worst thing to happen to you today? nothing yet lol

best compliment you’ve ever received? idk, i’m struggling to think of times i’ve been complimented tbh (i also don’t have that great of a memory tbh)

favorite smell? rain, or the smell just before it rains. or this strawberry poundcake body moisturiser i had. ooh or the raspberry body butter from the body shop lol

hugs or kisses? both

if you made a documentary, would it be about? animals or space or something lol

last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? harry potter lol

lipstick or lipgloss? lipstick

sweet or savory? sweet

girl crush? margot robbie

how do you know your in love? no idea

a song you can listen to on repeat? it’s hard to narrow it down! i’m just gonna with clean or blank space by taylor swift

if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? maybe margot robbie? just so i could see what it’s like to be THAT beautiful wow

what are you most excited for about this time in your life? figuring out what the fresh fuck to do i guess but that’s also kind of scary lol

tagging: @louvegoods @buckyperalta @damerondjarin @james-barnes @vintersoldier @vcastiel @yodababe @ctrls @tomhollandd @romanoft @astoriamalfxy + anyone else who would like to do this. also feel free to ignore! x

[inejkaz]

i was tagged by @mollyweasly to answer the following 73 questions! thank you for tagging me steph ♥ 

on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? i'm actually pretty content and the only thing that i'm rdreading right now is my upcoming finals so maybe 6!

describe yourself in a hashtag? #alwaystired

if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? no one comes to mind but steph's answer was chris evans and i'd say the same tbh 👀

if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? uh maybe "dumb bitch" or "chaotic mess" LMAO idk honestly my life isn't that interesting most of the time

what’s one thing people don’t know about you? that i'm lowkey depressed. most of my old friends know this but they don't rlly know how bad it makes me feel sometimes & i don't think i'll ever tell my college friends abt this except for one person!

what’s your wake up ritual? lay in bed for another 5-15 mins, check the time, and brush my teeth. next i'd either shower, workout, or attend online class

what’s your go to bed ritual? just on my phone looking at useless things and answering my friends' messages. i'll get tired soon so i'll just daydream and sleep. lately i've been listening to music to help me sleep!

what’s your favorite time of day? late night and early morning

your go to for having a good laugh? i love watching lip sync battles. my favorites are by emma stone, tom holland, anne hathaway & channing tatum!

dream country to visit? the UK! my cousin talks abt it all the time and now she's taking her postgrad degree there which makes me incredibly jealous 😢 but honestly i'm dying to travel europe as a whole!

what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? probably when my high school friends bought me the doc martens shoes that i LOVE for my 17th birthday! i love them and miss them even tho many are not in touch with me anymore

heels or flats/sneakers? flats/sneakers definitely! i've never tried heels tbh i can only endure wedges and they alr hurt SO much

vintage or new? both

who do you want to write your obituary? probably my best friend!

style icon? taylor swift during the red era, noora sætre, orion carloto, ashley aka best.dressed!

what are three things you cannot live without? books, internet, family

what’s one ingredient you put in everything? salt

what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? taylor swift, chris evans, audrey hepburn

what’s your biggest fear in life? the unknown, anything horror & reptiles esp lizards (i can't stand reptiles AT ALL i'd literally cry and die if i have to touch one or sleep in the same room with one)

window or aisle seat? window

what’s your current tv obsession? haven't been watching any tv lately but i've been watching mukbangs on youtube a lot

favorite app? line (a messaging app mostly used by indonesians. i rlly like the stickers and themes i own lmao)

secret talent? i can play guitar just a lil bit

most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? either drinking beers with my friends on a school field trip or not telling my parents that i went to the city alone during college just to hangout by myself

how would you define yourself in three words? introverted, chaotic, anxious

favorite piece of clothing you own? an adidas jacket that was on a 50% sale for international women's day!!! 

a must have clothing item that everyone should have? black pants

a superpower you would want? invisibility and mind control!!!

what’s inspiring you in life right now? since i was a little kid, i've always been inspired by my cousin. she's my role model!

best piece of advice you’ve received? to literally BELIEVE in yourself

best advice you’d give your teenage self? don't be so self-aware bc everyone's busy with themselves, make more friends, cherish your time in school more

a book everyone should read? harry potter series, the raven cycle

what would you like to be remembered for? for being a good, positive person

how do you define beauty? beauty is whatever that evokes a positive feeling out of oneself i guess!

what do you love most about your body? my eyes

best way to take a rest/decompress? skincare, listen to soothing music, drink a warm beverage, watch smth that's easy to watch, and just sleep! 

favorite place to view art? galleries, but i've only been to one sadly

if your life was a song, what would the title be? maybe "paradox" or "misunderstood"

if you could master one instrument, what would it be? piano! but it's expensive and not portable so if i'm being realistic, it'd be guitar

if you had a tattoo, where would it be? in the back of my neck! also maybe on any of my fingers or below my ribcage

dolphins or koalas? koalas

what’s your spirit animal? deer!

best gift you’ve ever received? doc martens shoes given by my friends!

best gift you’ve given? i think i wrote my friend letters to open when she's in different moods once

what’s your favorite board game? monopoly

what’s your favorite color? pink, purple, yellow, monochrome

least favorite color? i just dislike bright obnoxious colors

diamond or pearls? diamonds

drugstore makeup or designer? both, but i mostly can't afford designer anyway so..

blow-dry or air-dry? both

pilates or yoga? i've never tried any actually

coffee or tea? both, but i'm leaning towards tea

what’s the weirdest word in the english language? can't think of any right now..

dark chocolate or milk chocolate? milk chocolate!!!

stairs or elevators? elevators

summer or winter? winter

you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? burgers!!

a dessert you don’t like? basically i won't like anything with fruits

a skill you’re working on mastering? photoshop i guess? i'm planning to learn coding too now that i have the time!!

best thing to happen to you today? probably finishing my gifset! but honestly, i was supposed to be studying lmao

worst thing to happen to you today? i didn't study lmao

best compliment you’ve ever received? i don't think it's anything that memorable so i can't really think of one

favorite smell? jasmine

hugs or kisses? both

if you made a documentary, would it be about? space, mythology

last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? i get a little teary eyed if i come across a touching content on instagram/twitter tbh lmao. but i'd say the last movie that made me cry so bad was her (2013)

lipstick or lipgloss? lipstick

sweet or savory? savory

girl crush? emma watson

how do you know your in love? don't think i've ever been in love, i've only experienced like a very long crush so...

a song you can listen to on repeat? there are a lot... but for now, woman by mumford & sons and anything by taylor swift

if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? taylor swift!!!

what are you most excited for about this time in your life? i've just been enjoying editing for tumblr a lot, i haven't really posted consistent content in my 10 years of being here so that's been fun. i also want to learn coding and become an overall healthier person by working out regularly & eating mindfully! honestly i'm trying to build my confidence and become healthier, both mentally and physically 

tagging: @dianaprincie @cllianmurphy @cinderllas @edgarallan @rosamunqpike @gamoora @nataliamaximoff (sorry if you've done this before, feel free to ignore!)

[halseyassthetics]

73 questions.

I was tagged by @wescoasts thanksss <3

I tag @twinzmoon @anf-stuff @amiloud-andclear @chloefran @peacelovehalseytaylor @badlandsxclementine and there’s always loads of people I want to tag but then I forget by the time I’ve done it so anyone else that would like to do it feel free, I’d love to read some cool answers :)

On a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? 

0

Describe yourself in a hashtag?

#sleepy

If you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be?

So. Many. People

If your life was a musical, what would the marquee say?

No clue

What’s one thing people don’t know about you?

That I’m actually a terrible communicated in real life it’s like words run away from me 😂😂

What’s your wakeup ritual?

I lay there for a while, check my phone and then fall back asleep 5 million times

What’s your favorite time of day?

Just after sunset

Your go to for having a good laugh?

Watching twitch or Gemma Collins compilations

Dream country to visit?

The Netherlands and Italy

What’s the biggest surprise you’ve had?

Can’t think of anything 😂

Heels or flats/sneakers?

Sneakers (trainers)

Vintage or new?

Both

Who do you want to write your obituary?

No one

Style icon?

Idk

What are three things you can’t live without?

Music, art stuff, my dog

What’s one ingredient you put in everything?

Sugar or something

What 3 people living or dead would you like to make dinner for?

Emily Dickinson, Roald Dahl anddd Vincent van gogh

What’s your biggest fear in life?

Losing everyone around me

Window or aisle seat?

Window

What’s your current TV obsession?

Atypical (I cant stop watching it over and over)

Favorite app?

spotify or Pinterest

Secret talent?

I can’t think of anything

Most adventurous thing you’ve done in your life?

Moving city on my own was pretty crazy for me

How would you define yourself in three words?

Creative, passionate and tired

Favourite piece of clothing you own?

Manic hoodie

Must have clothing item everyone should have? 

A comfy hoodie

Superpower you would want?

Teleportation and breathing under water

What’s inspiring you in life right now?

art art and more art

Best piece of advice you’ve received?

I can’t think of anything

Best advice you’d give your teenage self?

Don’t give up on school and keep being strong because you can get through more than you think

A book that everyone should read?

I’m not sure

What would you like to be remembered for?

Everything I create like my art

How do you define beauty?

Idk

What do you love most about your body?

My really weird knee because it’s awesome

Best way to take a rest/decompress?

I like to just lay and clear my mind for a bit or read

Favourite place to view art?

Art gallery/museums

If your life were a song, what would the title be?

‘Sleeping all the time’

If you could master one instrument, what would it be?

Electric guitar or drums

If you had a tattoo, where would it be?

Everywhere but I’ll say arms since that’s where they are now

Dolphins or koalas?

How do I choooooose

What’s your spirit animal?

A panda

Best gift you’ve ever received?

A book of all of Emily Dickinson’s poems

Best gift you’ve ever given?

Probably festival tickets to my cousin that was an awesome gift

What’s your favourite board game?

Monopoly because I always win 😂

What’s your favourite colour?

Red

Least favourite colour?

Maybe brown

Diamonds or pearls?

Diamonds

Drugstore makeup or designer?

Designer

Blow-dry or air-dry?

For hair it would be air dry

Pilates or yoga?

Yoga if I was to try any 😂

Coffee or tea?

This is so hard but tea

What’s the weirdest word in the English language?

Idk

Dark chocolate or milk chocolate?

Milk chocolate

Stairs or elevator?

elevator

Summer or winter?

Summer

You are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat?

Pasta

A dessert you don’t like?

Trifle

A skill you’re working on mastering?

Learning languages

Best thing to happen to you today?

My painting turned out great

Best compliment you’ve ever received?

That i’m a kind person. All I ever wanna be is kind so it’s really nice that people actually think that

Favourite smell?

Cinnamon or vanilla

Hugs or kisses?

Hugs

If you made a documentary, what would it be about?

Space or the deep sea

Last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? 

Alaska dying in looking for Alaska :(

Lipstick or lip gloss?

Lipstick probably

Sweet or savoury?

Savoury

Girl crush?

Tooooo many

How you know you’re in love?

Idk one day I’m just there and I’m like ‘shit I think I’m in love’

Song you can listen to on repeat?

I’ve been listening to who by lauv constantly for the past week idk why

If you could switch lives with someone for a day who would it be?

Tom Holland so I can be Spiderman

What are you most excited about at this time in your life?

Just to move onto whatever happens next

[artificialqueens]

the broken hearts club [branjie] - pinkgrapefruit

A/N - im sorry i’ve been gone. <3

*

I need emotion, Novocaine, I need a numbing of my brain

I need somethin’ to take away the remains of your name

She rolls the ring between her fingers and wonders how it became the end of them when it should have been the beginning. The silver shines bright like it’s never been worn, no signs of wear and tear, no hint of tarnishing. It glows in a way that tells you it’s wearer has no tan line. Her’s is a solid strip of white. When her tears fall onto the diamond, she’s sure it cracks. Her heart does. Vanessa’s heart cracks every time.

And the way her blood rushes through the jagged-cut veins that sparkle rough like a diamond on a full moon sends a pounding to her head. Like a basketball on a concrete floor and the noise it makes could be footfalls or it could be breaking. In her defence, the world moves in slow motion now and she’s not sure if it’s moving at all. She’s numb from the brain down and it takes more time to fasten up her shoes than it does to remember her birthday but that’s how life is and sometimes you’ve got to pick your battles. She decides she doesn’t need groceries and instead purges their group calendar.

She tries to purge the group calendar just like she tries to cancel their wedding planner and she tries to send an email out to the invitees and remove the taster wedding cakes from their fridge and stop calling her flat theirs. She tries.

I need amnesia for a day and an umbrella for the rain

That hasn’t gone away since you said you didn’t need me

The first morning Vanessa feels up for a run, it’s raining and she curses fucking Brooke for this fucking rain because of course, the ice queen loved the rain. It rained the day she left and she’s damn sure it will always be raining when she thinks of her. Instead of a run, she takes the A train from Brooklyn to Central Park, desperate to find one piece of New York that isn’t tainted with memories of Blonde hair and the smell of lavender. Somehow they never ended up here so Vanessa spends her day sitting on a bench with an umbrella and a large coffee. Her sweater is pulled up over her chin and her sleeves, over most of her hands and she feels safer than she has in weeks.

When she gets home, she opens a bottle of wine and eats all the cake in the flat and calls it a success.

Lately been thinkin’ maybe

There’s a place we won’t feel so crazy

She deeps cleans the apartment after three and a half weeks. She is beyond desperate to remove the smell of Peonies and Hairspray that seems to have permeated her entire being, leaving her feeling surrounded and smothered. She vacuums behind the TV and washes the sofa cushions and cleans out all the cabinets. She puts all of her developed films of Brooke into an airtight box and takes it to her storage unit the next day along with two boxes of assorted knick-knacks and a suit that somehow ended up on her side of the closet. She sleeps easy that night, calmed by the frantic day and the scent of vanilla incense. She doesn’t dream. It’s a welcome change.

She converts Brooke’s side of the spare room into a proper darkroom, pinning up blackout curtains and carrying her big bath from college through the subway. She settles it in a corner and spends the next two days developing all the shots she’s been too preoccupied to do until the entire flat is dark and covered in tarp and she has to duck to make it from her bedroom to the kitchen. She drinks her coffee sat up on the counter and hears Brooke telling her to get down but she ignores the voice. The day is a win.

Been in a hazy mid-morning daydream

I found a shady spot that they saved me

She buys too much the first time she grocery shops for one and has to invite the Dreamgirls over to help eat it all. The next day she calls Yvie and she brings Scarlet over and they;re both still friends with Brooke and look uncomfortable the whole time until Vanessa tells them she won’t break if she hears her name or talks about weddings and they can finally tell about hoe Scarlet’s job photographing the Ballet Company is or how their wedding planning is going. She imparts the wisdom that an off-white dress will work better with Yvie’s skin tone and a blush tone will look warmer against Scarlet’s hair and that the lighting looks best cosy and that the flowers should be bought in bulk. She lets them know she’s just a phone call away and it almost feels like therapy except when they leave she feels crushingly alone.

She takes a bath with some muscle relaxer she found under the sink, a gift from one of Brooke’s dancer friends and sends thanks to the gods that New York garners enough money to pay their dancers well, feeling rich from the softness of her skin.

They said, “come be the newest member of the broken hearts club

We hate every little thing about the people that we love

She hates the way almond milk tastes, and how she will never be able to watch the nutcracker again and the way black and white films make your head hurt a little if you watch them for too long. She hates how the sheets are always cold and the bed is never made and how Brooke used to do it all but there’s no Brooke anymore so she’s going to have to learn how to fold a fitted sheet all on her own. She hates how she still find white cat hairs on her black clothes and black cat hairs on her white clothes and blonde hair in her shower drain two months later when it gets blocked.

She hates how her Spotify still recommends her opera and how Netflix remembers Brooke’s love of true crime, even though some of the thumbnails scare the shit out of Vanessa. She hates how she booked the time off work to plan wedding stuff and somehow the entire freelance photography world seems to know because even though Vanessa is well known and well regarded, she cannot seem to get a gig anywhere and can’t even resort to weddings because she’s too scared she’ll end up crying into her camera.

She hates how she feels when she passes the subway stop for the New York Ballet and how she feels when she sees a blonde updo in a crowd and she hates how she feels.

And she hates that she still loves her.

She hates it.

We’re the let-down, we’re the lied-to, where the lost go and it finds you

Where the lonely make the lonely feel less lonely, and we’re dyin’ to

Invite you to stay, and take away the pain

‘Cause misery loves company, so hey, what do you say?”

She manages to feel lost in her own home sometimes and it’s an eerie feeling that only changes over time as she allows her space to open up and become shared again. She buys a cactus in the first step towards healing and talks to it intermittently. Soon she has an apiary on her fire escape, filled with potted plants and fairy lights and it’s a little escape from how claustrophobic the flat can feel.

She joins a running club and rediscovers the routes she and Brooke would run in the days when they were still fresh and young and felt like exploring. She still can’t touch their regular routes but she likes the older ones. She gets a coffee at their spot and the barista is new so they don’t look at her with a familiar face of pity. She starts to get bookings again, people coming to New York wanting a travel photographer to follow their adventures, young influencers wanting to feel like real celebrities and she gets paid more to take photos of some than she used to in entire years.

She knows she could move but she is tied to her place with heartstrings.

And at first, I wasn’t sure if there’s even a cure

For what I’m feelin’, 'cause what I’m feeling’s been feelin’ more and more absurd

Her therapist emails her on a Tuesday, suggests it’s been a while and she should come in for a chat. She blindly agrees and puts on her comfiest Yoga pants, knowing it’s going to be a long day. He suggests she should go see a show, watch her dance and make peace with the way her body moves and the way her mind has moved on and she blindly agrees to that too, too overwhelmed by the suggestion to really think. Her homework is to book it and she is scheduled in for the day after the performance.

She books the performance of Giselle with little thought, picking the best seats in the house like she always did. They are front and centre in an area usually reserved for friends and family but it must be a little thin on the ground that night because she can snag her familiar chair with ease. The amount it takes from her bank account should hurt but she’s realising more and more that maybe this is healing.

She buys a new dress for the occasion and sets it aside, knowing it will be the only thing untouched by Brooke. It’s a powerful feeling.

The repeating in my head of every last word that you said

Feels like ever since you left, you still won’t leave me

It’s a beautiful show and Brooke dances like she’s moving on air. She glides, ever jete a flying move. Her partnering is divine and for the first time, Vanessa isn’t jealous of the man that gets to hold her. It doesn’t feel like a victory when he lets go.

She feels every move Brooke makes, wants to say that the blue eyes are piercing into her but it isn’t true. Because Brooke dances for the back row, eyes cast far back and Vanessa is allowed the moment to fade away. She comes out of it feeling refreshed and free and skips down the steps lightly.

Her therapist tells her he’s proud and she feels it deep in her soul like a new fire. She hopes it will stay lit.

I guess if you can’t beat 'em, join 'em

That’s what they always say

Let’s go inside, let’s coincide

And I’ll commensurate

She lays in bed on a Wednesday morning and lets herself remember that night. She thinks about the way it felt to open the door to an empty foyer, to feel uprooted and upended, life on its back legs rearing blindly as she tried to hold on for dear life. She remembers it like one remembers their parent’s divorce, messily and full os blame and she hopes that Brooke will never do it to another person because at that moment she felt so lost.

She grounds herself, hands twisted in her duvet, head heavy on the pillow.

She gets up, makes a coffee and waters her plants.

She starts afresh.

Singin’, we’re the newest members of the broken hearts club

We still feel pretty lonely and we wish we didn’t, but

She stands on her fire escape at 4 am on a Thursday. Camera in hand she watches the world pass by as the sun rises, a golden glow reflecting off the highrises of the city she loves so dearly. Below her, on the street, she misses the flash of Blonde that jogs as the night fades. The shots she takes that morning sell for thousands. She calls then ‘Brooke Lynn’.

We’re the newest members of the broken hearts club

And we all kinda hate it, but it’s easier than love

[tiberiuskirks]

I was tagged by @mollyweasly to answer the following 73 questions thank you 💓

1. on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? There’s not much going on so 4-5

2. describe yourself in a hashtag? #tryingtheirbest

3. if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? I’m ace but if I had to pick probably Ana de Armas

4. if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? The Most Tired Girl in the World

5. what’s one thing people don’t know about you? That I’m ace, only my family and best friend know

6. what’s your wake up ritual? If I have school I brush my teeth, wash my face, brush my hair, and then I’m gone. If it’s a weekend or quarantine, I’ll lay in bed then have breakfast and maybe do a face mask

7. what’s your go to bed ritual? I shower and watch tv before actually falling asleep

8. what’s your favourite time of day? Early morning

9. your go to for having a good laugh? B99 or The Office

10. dream country to visit? Scotland!

11. what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? When my friend came to visit me this past winter break, I hadn’t seen her in a while so I was so happy to get to spend a week with her

12. heels or flats/sneakers? Flats!

13. vintage or new? Vintage

14. who do you want to write your obituary? I’d love if my best friend wrote it

15. style icon? Harry Styles

16. what are three things you cannot live without? Friends, music, books

17. what’s one ingredient you put in everything? Idk

18. what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? Carrie Fisher, Ariana Grande, and Florence Pugh

19. what’s your biggest fear in life? Rejection

20. window or aisle seat? Window

21. what’s your current tv obsession? The Clone Wars

22. favourite app? Pinterest

23. secret talent? I can do a round off

24. most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? Flown to Ireland by myself

25. how would you define yourself in three words? Tired, soft, and dreamy

26. favorite piece of clothing you own? my yellow sweater, it’s so soft and comfy

27. a must have clothing item that everyone should have? Sweatpants

28. a superpower you would want? Telepathy

29. what’s inspiring you in life right now? Family

30. best piece of advice you’ve received? One of my past teachers would say that nothing’s perfect the first time and that’s helped me a lot

31. best advice you’d give your teenage self? Don’t be afraid to try new things

32. a book everyone should read? Little Women

33. what would you like to be remembered for? For having a kind heart

34. how do you define beauty? Beauty’s a lot of things but I think having a good soul makes up a lot of it

35. what do you love most about your body? I like my nose

36. best way to take a rest/decompress? Shower or bath

37. favorite place to view art? Museum 

38. if your life was a song, what would the title be? She Lives in Spring

39. if you could master one instrument, what would it be? Piano

40. if you had a tattoo, where would it be? Somewhere I could see, like my ankle

41. dolphins or koalas? Koalas

42. what’s your spirit animal? Probably a mouse

43. best gift you’ve ever received? My parents got me a typewriter for my 14th birthday

44. best gift you’ve given? I gave my friend a photo board with pictures of us from when we were little to now

45. what’s your favourite board game? Life

46. what’s your favourite colour? Pink

47. least favourite colour? I don’t have one

48. diamond or pearls? pearls

49. drugstore makeup or designer? drugstore

50. blow-dry or air-dry? Blow-dry

51. pilates or yoga? Yoga

52. coffee or tea? Tea

53. what’s the weirdest word in the english language? hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia (fear of long words)

54. dark chocolate or milk chocolate? Dark

55. stairs or elevators? Stairs

56. summer or winter? Winter

57. you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? Brownies

58. a dessert you don’t like? Rum cake

59. a skill you’re working on mastering? Going to sleep idk

60. best thing to happen to you today? Not much has happened but I did watch a new movie

61. worst thing to happen to you today? Nothing!

62. best compliment you’ve ever received? A girl I passed on the street said I had good style and that made my heart smile

63. favourite smell? Vanilla

64. Hugs or kisses? Hugs

65. if you made a documentary, would it be about? Space, maybe some nebula

66. last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? Modern Love

67. lipstick or lipgloss? Lipgloss

68. sweet or savory? Sweet

69. girl crush? Ana de Armas or Florence Pugh

70. how do you know you’re in love? I smile as soon as I see them

71. a song you can listen to on repeat? NASA by Ariana Grande

72. if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? Emma Watson

73. what are you most excited for about this time in your life? I just turned 20 so I’m ready to learn the lessons of adulthood

Tagging @agentmmayy, @lukewedge, @darthvadeh, @padfootagain, @tinanewt, @grayson-dick, @poedamoran, @mandalcrians , @bodhirookes, @billhaders, @gomez-michelle, and @jedikencbi 💕

[daredevile]

tagged by @florenepugh [ thank you ashlyn!! 🥰 ] to answer 73 questions! answers are below the cut!!

on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? it’s a solid 7.5

describe yourself in a hashtag? #swordswingingmaisiewilliams

if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? i’d say sebastian stan but he’s way older than me

if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? an ambivert’s monologue

what’s one thing people don’t know about you? i got stitches on my head once

what’s your wake up ritual? once i’m awake, i’m a w a k e . then i brush my teeth and get on with my day :)

what’s your go to bed ritual? it’s lying in bed and watching youtube till 1-2 am then actually being reponsible and sleeping.

what’s your favorite time of day? sunrise [ 4-5 am]

your go to for having a good laugh? friends or b99

dream country to visit? norway!! 

what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? my friends taking me hiking to watch the sunset on my bday!

heels or flats/sneakers? hate heels. huge sneakerhead!

vintage or new? modern..

who do you want to write your obituary? hasan minhaj lol

style icon? ella balinska

what are three things you cannot live without? movies, music, my laptop

what’s one ingredient you put in everything? oregano if it makes sense!

what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? sebastian stan, albert einstein, michael jackson

what’s your biggest fear in life? irrational - fear of failure and disappointing my family rational - deep, open water like the middle of the ocean

window or aisle seat? aisle! i want some free space 😅

what’s your current tv obsession? la casa de papel!!

favorite app? youtube 

secret talent? raising an eyebrow and winking! 😂

most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? bungee jumping from mountain 

how would you define yourself in three words? friendly, witty, ambitious

favorite piece of clothing you own? my softest hoodie!!!

a must have clothing item that everyone should have? a flannel lol

a superpower you would want? an eidetic memory please! spencer reid vibes 

what’s inspiring you in life right now? nostalgic music

best piece of advice you’ve received? it all works out in the end.

best advice you’d give your teenage self? don’t give a shit!

a book everyone should read? harry potter for sure!!

what would you like to be remembered for? being a great friend.

how do you define beauty? beauty is understanding your imperfections and knowing that’s it’s ok.

what do you love most about your body? my eyes i guess

best way to take a rest/decompress? listening to music ☺️

favorite place to view art? all these amazing-ass edits on tumblr!

if your life was a song, what would the title be? no idea... :)

if you could master one instrument, what would it be? i mean i can play the guitar but i'd love to learn electric

if you had a tattoo, where would it be? my left forearm

dolphins or koalas? koalas!

what’s your spirit animal? a corgi and i ain’t complaining

best gift you’ve ever received? an email from my dad saying he’s proud of me and my accomplishments

best gift you’ve given? late-night drive to taco bell then going to the beach while blasting music in the car [ it’s more meaningful that this lol ]

what’s your favorite board game? game of life and monopoly

what’s your favorite color? baby blue!!! 

least favorite color? orange

diamond or pearls? neither but diamonds if i had to choose

drugstore makeup or designer? none! not a fan of makeup 😅

blow-dry or air-dry? blow-dry

pilates or yoga? pilates

coffee or tea? coffee!

what’s the weirest word in the english language? pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis - a lung disease you get from inhaling volanic ash and dust

dark chocolate or milk chocolate? dark chocolate bby!!

stairs or elevators? elevators

summer or winter? winterrrrr

you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? tacos!! 🌮

a dessert you don’t like? anything too chocolatey like choco lava cakes 

a skill you’re working on mastering? penciling!!

best thing to happen to you today? i’m just gonna say chaos night!

worst thing to happen to you today? nothing lol

best compliment you’ve ever received? i remember every little thing someone has told me but one that stuck with me the most is that you’re not just my best friend, you’re my fucking family 😭

favorite smell? vanilla and men’s cologne

hugs or kisses? hugs i guess 

if you made a documentary, would it be about? christopher nolan’s directing choices!!!!

last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? titanic :(

lipstick or lipgloss? how bout lipbalm!

sweet or savory? savory!

girl crush? ella balinska, rihanna, emma watson, kristen bell, jameela jamil, stephanie beatriz, melisa fumero!!

how do you know your in love? love is too intense for me at this point in my life 🙃

a song you can listen to on repeat? call out my name by the weeknd!

if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? probably an incredibly rich person just to not worry about it

what are you most excited for about this time in your life? starting uni hopefully soon!

tagging @tinanewt @ctrls @bellamy-blakez @wespers @acrookedsaint @gomez-michelle + anyone else who’d like to!! :)