#cod John x reader
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ilostthewar · 1 month ago
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John and Simon both enjoy Brat taming in vastly different ways.
John Price really does enjoy taking an unruly and bratty person and turning them into a model citizen. He wants a perfect pet that he can spoil, but he knows training is needed to get there. So his methods often involve a list of rules and expectations along with a list of punishments. You know exactly what you are supposed to do and what will happen if you don’t follow through. He isn’t doing funishments, you fuck around and you find out. Definitely is having you writing apology letters, giving you chores to do to make up for your actions, expects you to carry out punishments with grace and dignity. Also believes in abstinence, he’s getting off sure, but you aren’t. You’ll crack long before he does. You aren’t going to embarrass yourself or him and he makes sure of it. He knows you’re acting out for attention, so he isn’t going to give you the reaction you want. Will make you kneel perfectly still beside him while he ignores you, tells you it’s because you need to “think about your actions”. When he finally approaches you, makes you say exactly what you did and why you did it. He knows you’re a dumb baby, needs help finding your words, so he’ll be patient. Will wait you out, honestly. When you finally admit that you’re acting up cause you need to cum, that you need to feel wanted, he’s able to calm you down and promise you that you don’t need to be bad to get those things. He’s generous with rewards, he wants to spoil you. So be good and let him.
Simon Riley on the other hand? He thinks it’s fun when you’re bitchy. He’s both bigger and badder than you, he can handle it and give it back twice as hard. You aren’t embarrassing him because it’s not possible. He can and will turn any situation around on you. Will ask you in public if you’re “actin’ like this cause you need some dick?”, doesn’t care who’s around. He knows why you’re acting out, knows that you just need to be held down until you stop thinking and can be sweet again. Likes it when you’re crying that it’s too much and trying to run, because he’ll just pull you back. He knows what you need, so just let him give it to you. He’ll put up with your attitude to an extent because he really does enjoy the way you snap your teeth, cause your bark is always sharper than your bite. You and him both know that he lets you get away with your behavior cause it amuses him. But the second you step out of line he’s quick to choke you by your leash and demands that you get your shit together before he has to help you. That is your one and only warning. He doesn’t particularly care how you behave towards others, he’s not kissing anyone’s ass either. Might correct you if it’s someone like John, that’s about it. But you aren’t going to bite the hand that feeds you, at least, not unless he wants you to.
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partiallysame · 12 days ago
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Being Price’s lil wife
-Task force 141 knew Price was married. Man wore his ring religiously, always putting it back on the second they were in the helicopter/plane/whatever after each mission
-He’d come to work with a lunch packed with a cute lil heart note
-To be honest they all assumed you were the same age as Price (old) He always said he’d been “married for years” (3)
-They never knew your name, Price only ever referred to you as The Missus
-Gaz swore Price had a photo of you in his wallet (he did) but they never knew what you looked like untilllllllll
-You called your husband simply to complain. The AC had gone out and the repair man wouldn't be able to get there for a couple days. No no this simply would not do, his perfect lil lady could not be uncomfortable in her own home he wouldn’t have it but fuck he’s out of the country for a few more days. His team however is not and while stupid, they do know how to do maintenance work (why? Just because.)
-He called his team for a very important mission. Gave them the address, accompanied with “I don’t want to hear a fucking thing about you causing any trouble or being disrespectful to the Missus you hear?” The boys were absolutely giddy to finally see the ever so important Missus.
-The second you opened the door Soap was apologizing for having the wrong house and oh so politely asked if you knew where the Price household was. This had to be the wrong one because there you stood, pretty young thing, big doe eyes. Standing in just a big shirt ending at the very tops of your thighs, lashes batting at the three soldiers standing at your door.
-“You’ve got the right place. John told me you were coming, please come in.” You had to hold in a giggle, watching all of their eyes go wide. Gaz immediately looking at the sky, the floor, anywhere but the wife of his captain that he was just undressing with his eyes.
-When you turned to guide them into the house they all saw PRICE printed on the back of the large tshirt just barely covering your ass (this is your own home pants are never required and its hot as hell without the ac). Now it was Ghost’s turn to look anywhere but at you.
-As they worked you’d bring them water or snacks. They now understood why Price kept you hidden from them. The perfect lil housewife. The woman of all of their dreams already taken.
-When they were finished they went to the kitchen to inform you they were done only to find a full meal set on the table waiting for them but worst of all? There you were reaching up to the top cabinet. On your tippy toes, your shirt (Price’s shirt) riding up enough to expose the bottom of your ass and lacey pink panties. Soap had to bite his knuckle to keep from groaning. Ghost grabbing the tops of his teammates heads, turning them away from the incredible sight in front of them.
-Price was right to keep you hidden from them
-They might just have to sneak in and break something every time Price was out of town if it meant this is what they got to see.
Price's lil wife Masterlist
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soapcloth · 1 month ago
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CW: 18+ MDNI, neighbour!price x reader - dividers -> @/cafekitsune
You find out John Price doesn’t play around when it comes to catching up on sleep while he’s on leave.
Struggling to bring in a heavy package one morning, you’re startled by your neighbour emerging from his unit huffing and puffing tiredly about noise in nothing but a simple pair of low hanging pyjama bottoms.
You’re concerned you’re going to get an earful when he wordlessly hoists the box up, uncaring about the way it tugs at his waistband to expose a dusting of hair and noticeable veins. Leaving your delivery just inside your door, he turns to look at you through squinted eyes, and your cheeks heat up when you realize you’ve been caught watching it bob under the loose fabric.
In your defence, he cuts quite the hypnotic figure from the side.
“Thank you, John-“ you try- only to be interrupted by a thick arm hooking around your neck; the other reaching behind him to close your door with just a tad too much force. His free hand lowers to scratch at his belly, prompting a loud yawn as a thick palm dips lower, giving himself a little squeeze. With a content hum rolling around in his chest, he pulls you into his apartment.
“Too early.” He grumbles as he flops onto his well-worn couch, half asleep and tugging you with him. Like a strangler fig, he rolls onto his side and cages you against the cushions, his legs tangling around yours and his cock unmistakably fattening against your belly.
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devil-in-hiding · 5 months ago
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something something reader is a bartender at a popular little pub, and night after night you are hit on by men so plastered you often have to sigh and call over one of the guys you work with the idiots end up vomiting all over themselves (sometimes it’s worse than vomit but thankfully you can count those incidents on one hand)
you think by slipping on your grandmothers old wedding ring, it will sway men from hitting on you at work. And it does, there’s still some that try to test their luck, but the minute you flash that pearl on your finger they’re scurrying off to find their next target.
Cue four new regulars, four attractive military men that always flash you a polite smile and leave you a nice tip. Price comes in more than the others, claiming the stool near your register for himself, Ghost doing the same the rare nights he slinks into the pub. Soap and Gaz come in together some weekends, sitting themselves in front of you with big grins on their faces as they watch the game on the tv overhead.
They’re all sweet, a little cocky at times but nothing that one of their grins or sly remarks can’t make up for. They ask how their favorite girl is doing when they return from longer missions, genuinely listening as you fill them in on the things that have happened since they’ve been away.
Perfect gentlemen.
Until one night you forget your ring, having had to rush your shower and sprint out the door to make it to the pub before the nightly rush.
You filling glasses when you hear the chime of the bell and a familiar laugh fill the pub.
“Was wondering if I’d see you boys tonight.” You smile, motioning for them to give you a moment as you serve the other patrons.
When you slide back over to them, you immediately reach for their usual glasses, grabbing your cloth to wipe them off, when a hand clamps around your wrist and you jump, nearly dropping the glass as Ghost turns your hand over in his.
“Trouble at home pretty?” Price comments, concern etched on his face and it takes a moment for you to catch on, and you can’t help the little giggle that spills out.
“Oh! My ring… It’s kind of a funny story. I uhm.. I’m not actually married.” You laugh, expecting them to laugh along with you, but all you feel are four pairs of eyes piercing into you.
“Come again?” Gaz asks, voice a tad deeper than usual and you ignore the chills it sends down your spine.
“I started wearing it so some of the drunkards would leave me be, kind of forgot about it, just became habit.” You chuckle nervously, hand still in Ghost’s grasp and he’s eyeing you in a way you’ve never seen before.
“Hm. Interesting.”
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bunnibombz · 1 month ago
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The thought I was having...
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"She can take it, don't let her whining fool you Ghost" John said, taking a drag off his freshly lit cigar as he sits back in his chair.
"Can't be runnin' away from me now," Simon gruffed, gripping your hips to hold you in place as he sank in deeper.
What had started out as a little joke between you and John after a drunken comment you made one night about wanting Simon to "stretch you out" had quickly evolved into John bringing his soldier into your bedroom on one condition. He got to watch.
Your fingers pulled at the sheets as Simon bottomed out, a rough groan dragged from his chest as you squeezed around him.
Fucking his thick, throbbing cock into your tight pussy had been no easy task despite how wet you were, and now that you were pulsing all snug around him and crying his name as you clawed the bed he didn't think he could ever pull out.
"That's it lovie, take a deep breath" He praised, pressing a warm hand against your spine to sink your chest lower to the bed as you moaned at the absolutely sinful angle he had you held in, "such a pretty bird Price, wanna keep her for myself".
"No can do Ghost," John replied with a chuckle as he adjusted himself through his pants. The sounds of your pleasure bringing a hot flush to his face, "she's got a ring on her finger for a reason".
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stargirlstabber · 2 months ago
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imagine the task force 141 falsely accusing you of being a traitor to the team. knowing your biggest fear, they use it against you. water. water, where your feet can't touch the ground. water you can't see through. at first it started with waterboarding. then slowly but surely they threatened to drop you into the pool. into the dark, deep pool. even john, who was like a father to you before, didn't help you. no. not at all. actually, he was the one who stepped into the water fully clothed, dragging your crying and squirming form with him into the bloodcurling liquid. your tears blended in with it while you we're screaming, practically begging that you were the wrong one. that you'd never do something like that. but they just stood at the edge of the pool, watching their captain almost drowning your terrified self. how would they react, when they get the information that you really weren't the one...?
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rosiereveries · 27 days ago
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John who fucks you raw for the first time.
You've been dating for a year now, and you always tried to be safe. But now, he came home earlier from a mission, and you didn't have the time to buy the condoms.
But how you can say no to him, when he begs you to let him fuck you. He says how much he missed you and your pussy. So, you agree that you will give him a pussy job and he can push the tip inside.
John thinks that he never felt anything better than your pussy raw on his dick. Everything feels so intense, and he can't control himself. With few hard thrusts he is completely inside you and he can't hear your whimpers when you remind him that he is only allowed just the tip.
Now he has you under him and he promises that he will pull out, but he slowly starts to realize that it won't be possible. He thinks about you full with his child, with your breast getting bigger and his load spilling out of your pussy. How lovely would you look with his fat baby on your hip while being pregnant with another one.
He never thought he had a breeding kink but once he tried your pussy without a condom everything changes.
He pins you down to the mattress pushing his dick deep inside your pussy and when he feels you reaching your orgasm and squeezing his cock he spills his seed inside of you. With few more thrust he fucks the cum deeper inside of you.
And when you moan his name so overwhelmed and sensitive, he knows that he needs to make sure that it sticks. It doesn't take long and he is spilling another load into you.
And than another one in the shower while he has you pressed against the glass. And another one on the couch when he makes you ride him, while he smokes his favorite kind of cigars.
When the next day you come home with a pack of condoms, he quickly hides them away from you when you're not looking. He needs to make sure that soon enough you will be fat with his baby.
Masterlist
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7s3ven · 3 months ago
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tatted! simon motorcycle shenanigans
TATTED UP! Simon Riley who lets you turn him into a colouring book. He doesn’t care how you colour his tattoos, he just wants to see the scrunched up look of concentration on your cute face.
“What colour do you want?” You murmur as you glance at your numerous eyeshadow palettes. Simon wants to say black or grey but he sees the way you eye the pink palette for a moment too long.
“… Pink.” He finally answers, his gaze focused solely on your bright smile.
You find joy in colouring his arm with various shades of pink and purple as he watches. “Look, so cute.” You murmur, eliciting a low laugh from Simon.
“Yeah.” His voice rumbles, “You wanna colour the rest in?”
BONUS
“Aye, LT, you got your tattoo redone or what?” Jonny can barely hold back his laughter as he looks at Simon’s arm. The previously edgy tattoos were now adorned with feminine colours and glitter.
“No. Just making the misses happy.” Simon doesn’t really care for his teammates’ reactions because the memory of your smile is enough to block out Jonny’s cackles.
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quarterlifekitty · 3 months ago
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Lately I’ve been getting a kick outta the idea of Ghost having a girlfriend that Johnny is painfully interested in (tale as old as time). But she a lil neurodivergent and selectively mute (edit; I originally labeled reader as non-verbal, but I was made aware mutism more accurately describes this!). She’s comfortable enough with Simon that she’ll talk to him when they’re alone, but she won’t say a word to Soap (she doesn’t talk to the other guys either, but you know that Johnny chooses to take it so damned personally).
The worst part is that Soap will say shit to her, and she’ll give Simon her little signal so he can bend down and she can talk to him so fucking quietly. It’s like they speak a different language and Simon is the interpreter. And it’s so infuriating to him because shit like this will happen.
“Ain’t you looking a right picture, bonnie— that dress new? Fits ye like a damned glove, sweetheart.”
You tug on Simon’s sleeve so he can lean down. Soap is rocking back and forth on his heels, anticipating an answer. He’s down so bad, he doesn’t even care that he’ll hear it from Simon’s lips and not yours. You whisper for what feels like minutes on end.
“She says thanks.”
“God damn, L.T.— you know she fuckin’ ‘ad to ‘ave said more than that!” He whines indignantly, Simon smirking. Simon knows all about his little crush, and chooses to let the lad suffer. His time will come when you’re ready.
This goes on and on for months on end— and you know what? It’s hard for Johnny to jerk off to the image of you wedged between him and Ghost when he has no idea what you sound like, moaning or otherwise. You can probably see him half hard in his jeans every time he heads home from a movie night with you and Simon.
“G’night, L.T. Night, hen.” Soap’s almost all the way down the walkway when he hears something almost inaudible over the ambient sounds of the night.
“Goodnight, Johnny.”
Now that’s gonna keep his fantasies fed for weeks.
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soleilapproves · 3 months ago
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Older boyfriend Price who is absolutely DISTRAUGHT over the fact that you don’t care about marriage because you think he’s over it.
Note: this one has no smut but it has mentions of sex and sexual relations so interact at your own discretion.
Masterlist
“What the fuck do you mean by you don’t want to?” If Price had been any louder, anyone outside his car would’ve been able to hear him.
It had been a few months into your relationship with Price after almost a year of being friends with benefits. You weren’t sure how your arrangement changed over time but you were glad to be with him as he valued you a lot.
“I mean, think about it. You’re like, what? 40-“
“I’m 37, love”
“Right, yeah, I just think that it doesn’t really matter as long as we’re having fun together. Honestly, I thought you’d agree,” you said before taking a bite out of your burger.
Price could only watch you in shock. Sure, your relationship started on the basis of sexual benefits but when he did think of the future all he thought of was you. Even if you were a generation younger than him, he had never felt such synergy with anyone before. It was a connection of a lifetime - emotional and sexual.
“So you don’t give a shit about marriage because you think I don’t care about it.”
“Kind of. If I’m gonna get married I need my partner to be on board too, don’t you think?” He sighed at your reply. You looked up at him, confused and cheeks full with your dinner as you grabbed the plastic cup of coke.
His heart swelled at the sight. It was like looking at an innocent chipmunk. To think that the same face looked fucked out an hour ago awed him but he couldn’t let himself get distracted by your unintentional seduction.
He grabbed your drink and put it back in the cupholder. You were about to whine but he grabbed your face and pulled you close, noses almost touching.
“You—“ peck “—are the most wonderful thing to happen to me and I’ll be damned if I don’t tie you down with me in the future.”
Your face heated up. You had swallowed your food not too long ago but your mouth felt like it had gone dry.
With your face in his hands he continued. “I’ll have a rock on your pretty little finger before you know it.” He left a longer peck on your lips this time and pulled away.
What you didn’t know was that he already had a ring for you. It was stored away in a hidden drawer in his desk, waiting to be worn by you.
In fact, he had brought it just a month into your relationship. He wasn’t religious but he knew that a person like you was the blessing of a lifetime.
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sigh-tofm · 4 months ago
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when they come home drunk…
… price
- thinks it’s important that he loudly tells you he’s married while you steady him upstairs to bed. points to his ring incessantly, slurs on and on about his perfect wonderful wife with the big ass and soft tummy. you roll your eyes and can’t help but smile when he doesn’t let you hold on to his arm to support him. something about protecting his virtue for his wife, as if you’re not standing right beside him. proceeds to lock you out of your own bedroom when you finally get upstairs, telling you his wife will be home soon so he can’t have a strange woman in their bedroom (but still remarks on your wonderful ass). you decide it’s too early in the morning to persuade your drunk husband to let you in, so you go down to sleep on the couch. you wake up with price sleeping soundly on the floor beside you, having gone to find his wife when she never showed up in his bed the night before.
… kyle
- gets sappy and apologises for being away. loses all concept of time when he’s drunk, says he’s sorry, he didn’t mean to be away so long, he was thinking of you the whole time, the guys pulled him along and he couldn’t say no. while he’s on his knees at your feet, pressing his face to your thighs and mumbling into your marbled skin, almost making you lose your balance with his fervent apologies, you gently remind him that you were the one who made him go out with the boys because he needed to unwind after a stressful weekend of combat drills, and that he had left with them less than two hours ago. he refuses to hear and only hugs your thighs closer, so much so that you have to support yourself on the wall. turns out all he needed to relax was you.
… johnny
- is horny. almost starts drooling when he eyes you at the top of the stairs, after struggling to close the entrance door for a good minute, causing you to investigate what made all the noise. gets a wild look in his eyes when he sees you in just his t-shirt and makes you scream and giggle as he chases you back up the stairs and to the bedroom. being absolutely shitfaced, he has the coordination of a tranquillised moose and stumbles head over heels across the floor, catches his foot on the doorway and narrowly misses the edge of the dresser with his head as he falls. still, his little soldier is courageously tenting his pants when you worriedly lean over him and he gets a good look right into the collar of your shirt.
… simon
- is emotional and clingy. can’t get enough of you, won’t leave you alone. you can’t make out half his words when he’s had this much to drink (and the mancunian in him breaks out too, making it ever harder to make out the words), but you play along, smile and nod and let him sit on the closed toilet seat and talk and talk while you do your night routine in front of the mirror. so lucky to have you, luv. how could’a lug like me get a pretty one like you, luv. his melancholy statements of love become comfortable background noise for you as you remove your makeup and apply moisturiser. lets you wash the sweat and grime of the day off his face with a washcloth, closes his eyes while you massage your floral-scented moisturiser into his skin, never once stopping his little speech. ambles after you out of the bathroom, holding on to the hem of your shirt, when you’re all finished and ready for bed. his devoted mutters only let up when be falls asleep next to you.
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partiallysame · 17 days ago
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Soap accidentally hits on ghosts girl
“What’s a pretty lil thing like you doing in a bar like this?” He asked as he waved to the bartender to get you another of whatever was in your glass. Turing to see who the cheesy line belonged to, you almost let out a laugh before you realized he was being serious. You immediately recognized the man. Simon had one single thing on the walls in his apartment, a photo of the 141. You knew the man in front of you but by the way he was sliding onto the stool next to you he clearly did not know who you were. This was going to be fun. You looked up at him with this big doe eyes and he was already losing it.
You hummed a little as if you were contimplating his question. “Maybe I come here to meet big strong men.” You batted your lashes at him. “Was hoping to meet a couple actually.” Your response made him raise his eyebrows as he took a drink of the glass the bartender had handed him.
“Oh is that so?” He asked leaning a little closer to you.
“Yes it is” your voice dripped with honey as you leaned closer to him. His hand immediately found your thigh at your action. A big smile came to your face, hand reaching up to place itself lightly on his chest. You two stayed like that for a moment both refusing to break eye contact before you leaned in to whisper in his ear. Lips barely brushing his skin as you spoke.
“You know John. You should probably ask if a pretty lil thing like me is single before you touch” his eyes widened when you used his name and threw the nickname he had used back at him. Pulling back slightly your hand on his chest gripped the collar of his shirt. “Or at least ask her name.” Before he knew it, the soldier was being pulled by you off the stool and dragged by his shirt to the front door where the rest of the 141 had been watching.
“This thing belong you?” You questioned pushing the large man towards his friends.
“Sorry lovie” your boyfriend apologized reaching to take your hand.
Oh Soap was so fucked.
part 2
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the-ferocious-kittyrose · 4 months ago
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Imagine you start dating John Price when you already have a protective dog at home
You have a girl dog and the first time he homes over she just side eyes him the whole time and whines like, “why is there a man in our home???”
She won’t let him near her or you without growling or barking. You try and apologize to John, explaining that she’s just protective and doesn’t like men, but John’s not offended, saying he’s glad you have her looking out for you.
Once the dog gets more used to having him around and realizes he’s not going to kill and eat you, she calms down a bit, but she’s still very protective.
You can’t play wrestle with him without your poor puppy going crazy thinking he’s attacking you, and if he slaps your ass she gets pissed, barking and growling because, “how dare you hit my mommy!?!?”
And god forbid he raises his voice at you during an argument.
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ghouljams · 4 months ago
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Absolutely cannot have fresh shaved/waxed pussy around the 141 boys.
Soap will cry over it, mourning the loss of your bush and "talking his girl(your pussy) through the loss" ie fingering you until you're soaked and sore as punishment.
Price will make it his mission to give you beard burn, shaking his head like a damn dog while he's eating you out, scratching the hell out of your pussy and thighs with his beard. He's trying to bleach the damn thing you just know it.
Ghost is the worst. Taking the opportunity to leave his dental imprint in the soft flesh surrounding your clit. He's going to bite until you're sobbing just to see the dimpled marks he's left.
At least Gaz is sweet. Pressing little kisses over the newly shaved/waxed skin, giving your clit soft little licks and pulling back to rub his fingers against your clit with gentle praises. Until you realize he's been doing that for the last hour, giving you just enough to keep you making those nice breathy noises but never giving you more. Maybe you should try Soap again...
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beloveds-embrace · 4 months ago
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Imagine 141 moving into a quaint little town post retirement and you’re the only baker in town. You love making sweets, breads, and desserts and own a cute bakery to show for it, know everyone in your town so these four new men who come early morning to try your breakfast deal immediately excite you because- new perspectives and tastes and opinions! It’s become a habit of yours to share bites of whatever new item you plan on adding to the menu, so the more diverse opinions the merrier in your opinion.
And you are glad you didn’t let their demeanor- big gruff men, especially the one with the black surgical mask- scare you away because they are sooo nice, calling you sweetheart, doll, birdie, and bonnie. So many nicknames, it has you blushing the sweetest pink shade. And they are all too happy to help taste-test for you, giving you lots of praise.
(Though you never quite notice their immense disappointment at seeing the little ring on your finger.)
Still, at the very least one of them comes over to your bakery once a day. Sometimes they come together, sometimes only two of them- but they come anyways and tip you every time despite you insisting otherwise. It’s a lovely friendship you build with them. But they do note you never mention your partner much.
Until Simon drops by one day, intent on buying one of your apple pies and maybe fluster you enough to turn the same shade as an apple, and he sees the bruises that peek out just so from your sleeves and the collar of your outfit. Puffy eyes, more makeup than usual, your smile not quite there…
And he understands. He knows this all-too-well. And the fact that it’s happening to an embodiment of sunshine like you? Unfair. Unbelievable. Unacceptable.
Simon gently takes your hands, squeezing them so lightly. “Everything’ll be well, luvie. Promise.” And that’s all he says.
And maybe it’s cruel of you to be happy when you receive a call a few days later, the sherrif of the town telling you your husband was found mauled to death by one of the bears that roam around the woods occasionally, but you just… don’t care.
A week later, when it seems appropriate enough, you open up the bakery again and your smile is blinding as you greet the 141 men and tell them for today, everything’s for free.
part 2
Other works + help me choose a title for this 😩
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gothghostiie · 4 months ago
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price with reader who never got much attention as a kid/growing up??
very self indulgent but hear me out. price is a lover man. he takes his time for his partners, gives them what they need, even if he's busy. you on the other hand are simply used to being put aside, people only listening to you half heartedly, not looking at you and getting distracted when you talk, other things were always more important than you and you felt that. you got used to it, it's normal to you.
but when you're with price he's the total opposite. he looks at you intently when you talk (if not hes leaning his head towards you so he hears you better), putting things down when you ask him something - hes attentive. he listens. and its absolutely strange to you, it makes you feel flustered, kinda watched. at some point you ask him why hes looking at you like that, the tv running in the backround. he furrows his eyebrows at you, with a confused chuckle. "what do you mean, love?"
"you're starin' at me." you accuse him, your cheeks getting hot.
"you're talkin' to me. where else would I be looking?" he jokes with a soft chuckle, wondering what the hell you're on about.
"your show's on." you say, gesturing to the tv. he looks at you like youve got three heads.
"I'm listening to you, love."
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