#clythia makes a reappearance!

[cinaja]

Before the Wall part 29

Summary: Five hundred years before Feyre Archeron is born, the world is much different from the one she lives in. Humans are slaves, seen as little more than animals by the Fae who rule. But things are beginning to change. Talks of rebellion is spreading and on the Continent, some Fae territories begin to consider the potential gain of War. All it takes is one spark and everything will explode.

Masterlist

A/N: There's another time jump of about 10 months before this chapter because this war is seven years and I really need to reach the end eventually.

-----

Drakon didn`t expect his essays to get any kind of attention. No one in international politics ever seemed interested in what he had to say, so the idea that they`d be care about his writing seemed absurd.

But maybe getting captured and tortured by the enemy made him interesting enough that people suddenly were interested in what he wrote. Or he just got lucky. Either way, the essays he published – an analysis of why it was the Fae`s duty as a people to help the humans fight for their freedom – got popular practically overnight with the Fae soldiers. According to Miryam, his timing was perfect. With causalities rising each day, many Fae had been questioning what they were fighting for, and apparently, Drakon`s texts did a good job of reminding everyone what this war was really about and thus increasing troop morale.

Even ten months later, Drakon still hasn`t gotten used to his new popularity.

Sitting on a rock just outside of their current camp with an open book on his lap, Drakon watches the first rays of the sun colour the land in golden light. Before he got captured, he liked to still be asleep by sunrise. But these days, he keeps waking up from nightmares and then, he can`t stand the confinement of his tent. So he usually ends up sitting somewhere outside of the camp long before sunrise, either getting some paperwork done or writing another essay. Like today, when he`s close to finishing an essay explaining why the Fae`s supposed superiority is a myth. He just needs a final argument.

Miryam finds him when the sun has almost fully risen over the horizon. The light makes the tips of her hair glow and makes her look like she`s wearing a crown of fire.

“How is it you always know where to find me?”, Drakon asks with a smile and closes his book.

“You`re a tad predictable.” Miryam plops down on the stone next to him.

These days, their sleeping habits are rather similar. Some days, Miryam will join him outside of the camp. Sometimes, they talk about his writing, about politics and the war. Occasionally, Drakon tells her about his nightmares. She never talks about hers. Other days, they just sit in silence. He has come to miss her when she doesn`t join him in the morning.

“I have a council meeting in an hour”, Miryam says, “Do you want to come?”

“Can`t.” And he doesn`t really want to, either. At Miryam`s insistence, he joined a few council meetings in the last few months, but even though the Council is far more polite to him these days, he still doesn`t enjoy the meetings. “I have a meeting of my own in Erithia in two hours, and I promised Jurian to join him for a patrol afterwards.”

“What`s the meeting about?”, Miryam asks.

Drakon starts drumming a rhythm on his leg. That`s another new habit of his. One of the healers from home suggested he should find something to focus on, a distraction to help him deal with things. He had a list of things one might use and Drakon settled on rhythms. It helps him remain calm.

“Remember this reform for our taxation system we were discussing three days ago?”, he asks. Miryam nods and he continues, “Well, it`s up to vote today, but I don`t think it will pass.”

Miryam smiles and shakes her head. “Only you would sound cheerful about losing a vote.”

“Well, I`m not happy about losing, obviously. But if I lose a vote, it means my system is working.” He shrugs. “Besides, most of the people on my council are smarter than me, so if they don`t allow a law to go through, I`m sure they have a reason.”

“And if the reason is that it doesn`t benefit them personally?”, Miryam asks.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, who is it that would suffer under your new law?”

“Well, it`s supposed to make the system fairer. No one suffers.” The whole idea behind it is that fewer people suffer. But still, he knows what Miryam is aiming for. “But I suppose there will be an increase in taxes for the rich.”

“And what would you say, how many of your council members are rich?”

“You mean…” Drakon groans. “But they are supposed to represent the people! That`s what they were elected for!”

“I`m not saying they don`t care about the people”, Miryam says. “Just that you might want to take into account that they also care about themselves.”

Drakon rubs face. Either way, if Miryam is right, his system has a serious design flaw.

“So what do I do?”

Miryam shrugs. “How am I supposed to know? I have no idea how laws work, or how to run a country. I just know a thing or two about people.”

Drakon sighs. Maybe if he makes a rule that only half of the seats can be given to people from the upper class? Either way, it means changing the system again.

“Damnit”, he mutters and continues drumming around on his leg.

“Hey.” Miryam moves closer and wraps an arm around him. “This new system of yours is a great idea, really. But you`ve only been doing this for a few years. It`s completely natural that there are still things that need fixing.”

Drakon nods. “I better figure something out, then.”

It will be a ton of work. But well, he knew in advance that changing his countries political system would not be easy. At least he`ll have something new to keep him busy during sleepless nights now.

“Do that”, Miryam says and gets up. “Now, I have a meeting to get to, so I should be off.”

He looks after her as she walks towards the camp. At the edge of the camp, she stops to have a short conversation with the guards. They are too far away for Drakon to hear what they are saying, but the sound of Miryam`s laugh drifts over to him.

Smiling, Drakon turns back to his book. He thinks he might be growing a bit too used to having her around.

----

The meeting has been going on for more than four hours now. Miryam`s magic has been acting up for the last two.

Miryam holds herself so straight it makes her back hurt and tries to focus on the conversation, but the feeling that something is pulling at her becomes more insistent with each passing minute. Under the table, she digs her fingers into her leg so hard that it hurts. Pain, she learned, helps keep her grounded.

“I suggest we join the armies”, she says. Does her voice sound strained? “That way, we cover up for the losses and increase their chances to survive should there be another attack.”

Yes, the strain in her voice is most certainly audible. But since they are discussing how to best cover the loss of another two thousand soldiers, they are all a little on edge. She`ll fit right in.

“That way, we`re down another army”, Zeku points out, frowning at the map in the middle of the table. Little figures mark the positions of the armies. blue for the Alliance, red for the Loyalists. These days, there is no mistaking that there is far more red than blue to be seen on the playing field of this war.

“And if we don`t, we lose both if there`s another battle and they have too few soldiers left to defend themselves”, Andromache says matter-of-factly. The queen looks as tired as Miryam feels, with her slightly tangled hair and the brown skin that lost its usual glow.

Miryam nods at her. “We only have bad options here”, she says, “All that`s left to do is pick the one that`s least likely to end in disaster.” And do it quickly, so that she can get out of here.

Unfortunately, as soon as the matter at hand is solved, there are three more issues for the council to deal with and Miryam is stuck in the stuffy meeting chamber, listening to bickering royals and trying to stir the meeting into a productive direction for another hour. At least her power finally seems to settle down to the point where it`s almost bearable. Miryam leans back in her chair and tries not to let her relief show.

Finally, the last problem has been solved and Miryam thanks everyone for their presence. Ever since her conversation with Grand Duke Zeku, she is acutely aware that her basically leading the meetings does make her stand out in the Alliance, but there`s little she can do about her position now. Their situation is precarious enough as it is, the last thing they need is for her to step back from her leading spot and cause a power struggle amongst the Continental leaders.

At least she manages to get to the door without being stopped by any of her co-councilmembers and finds a Fae guard who is friendly enough to winnow her back to her camp. As soon as she is outside, the last bit of her dizziness passes.

“Evening Tia!”, she calls out to the woman who is currently trying to show a group of new recruits how to properly use a longbow. So far, no success is visible – most arrows miss their mark by several feet – and Tia looks annoyed when she turns around.

“This already looks better than in the morning”, Miryam says with a smile towards one of the recruits who is staring at her with wide eyes. She`ll never get used to the looks.

Tia snorts. “All I`m hoping for at this point is that they don`t hit each other. Or me.” Tia sighs. “You`ve seen to Jurian and Drakon already?” Miryam shakes her head and she adds, “Then you should probably go. They ran into trouble during their patrol.”

Dread settles into Miryam`s stomach and makes it hard to breath. They`re alive, she tells herself, if they weren`t, Tia would have said so right away. “Where?”, she manages.

“Healer`s tent.”

Miryam nods and sets off. She desperately wants to run, but she is one of the camp`s commanders, people look to her for leadership. If she panics, it sends a bad message. So she walks as slowly as she can manage.

Both Jurian and Drakon are in the healer`s tent. Drakon is sitting on a chair. A healer stands behind him and tries to sew a deep-looking wound in his shoulder shut. Drakon looks a bit pale and winces each time the needle pierces his skin, but if he`s sitting up, the injury can`t be too dangerous. Jurian is pacing in front of him, face frozen in rage.

“What happened?”, Miryam asks. Her voice is breathless, even though she walked slowly.

“He`s a stupid idiot, that`s what”, Jurian hisses.

Miryam frowns. Whatever it is that happened between the two, it`s best discussed in private if she doesn`t want the entire camp to know about it within an hour.

“I`ll take over”, she says to the healer, who hands her the needle and hurries out of the room. Miryam quickly inspects the wound – deep, but the weapon didn`t hit anything vital – then continues the work.

“So”, she says, “now that we aren`t giving the camp gossips something to talk about anymore: What`s wrong.”

Jurian just continues to pace, pausing only to glare at Drakon occasionally.

“I made a completely reasonable choice -”, Drakon begins, butJurian whirls around to him and cuts him off.

“You could have died!”, he shouts. Miryam winces.

“I`m Fae. The chances of me dying –“

“I don`t care!” Jurian goes back to his pacing. “You don`t get to walk into a stupid arrow for me! You think I want you to die for me?” Without giving either of them the chance to reply, he whirls around and storms out of the tent.

Well, at least now Miryam knows what the problem is. “So I assume that arrow was originally meant for Jurian.”

Drakon nods. “An ambush. We were half an hour out of the camp when the arrows started flying. One went straight for Jurian.” He shrugs. Miryam wonders if he was this reckless a year ago already.

“Jurian is human”, Drakon adds, like he`s trying to justify his actions, “The chances of him dying were far higher. And even if he would have survived, his wounds heal more slowly than mine do.”

Miryam puts down her needle, reaches for a tin of salve and doesn`t reply. Saying anything on this would feel far too much like making a choice who she would rather see die, whose life she`d save if she got the chance. And she refuses to make that choice.

Drakon clenches his jaw when Miryam applies the salve to the wound, but doesn`t make a sound.

“Maybe you should go after him”, he says.

“I`ll give him a little time to calm down, then I`ll go.” If she runs after Jurian now, she will reach exactly nothing.

She reaches for a bandage and begins to wrap it around Drakon`s shoulder. Somehow, she feels bad about the entire situation. He meant well, and as thanks, he got shot and then yelled at.

“It was a brave thing to do”, Miryam says. That doesn`t sound like she`s telling him to do it again, does it? Just to be sure, she winks at him and adds, “Although I don`t think that will stop Sinna from giving you an earful about risking your life like this.”

“Oh.” Drakon makes a face and gives his shoulder a worried glance. “She`ll never let me fight again if she finds out.”

That seems highly likely. She wouldn`t even be wrong. It is the height of stupidity for a prince without heirs to jump in front of arrows to save other people. Stupid and brave. Miryam smiles. Neither Drakon nor Sinna ever seem to fully realize that he is, in fact, her superior and doesn`t actually need her permission for anything.

“Just tell her the arrow was meant for you, not Jurian.”

Drakon nods, looking relieved. “I`ll do that.”

She finishes the bandage in silence. Then, she passes Drakon his tunic. It is torn and bloody, but still better than running through the camp naked.

“Try to use the arm as little as possible”, she tells him. “I`ll change the bandages and take a look at the stiches tomorrow.”

Drakon nods. “Tell Jurian… Actually, I don`t know what you could tell him. I`m not even sorry.”

“And he isn`t actually angry”, Miryam says, “He just got scared.”

She finds Jurian in the sparring ring where he`s facing off against two opponents. She leans against a fence and watches him disable both opponents within a minute. He helps the two soldiers to his feet and wipes the sweat out of his face, then turns around to her.

“Walk with me?”, she calls out to him.

Jurian nods and follows her through the camp, away from the curious looks of the soldiers. They sit down on the stone where Miryam met with Drakon in the morning.

“He meant well, you know?”, she says softly.

“Of course he did.” Jurian wrinkles his nose. “That`s the damned problem, isn`t it?”

“Well, it`s not like we never risked our lives for his”, Miryam points out with a wry smile. Actually, she`d say that they both did far riskier things than stepping in front of an arrow. “Why is this such a problem?”

“Because…” He hesitates. “I know that the chances of all of us making it out of this alive are slim at most. I`ve accepted that.”

Miryam wants to disagree, but Jurian is right. With how this war is going, they`ll probably be lucky if even one out of the three of them lives to see the end of the fighting. If they win at all. She also knows that the chances of her being to one who survives are low. In the last months, Ravenia already sent three assassins after her.  

“But it`s not…” Jurian shakes his head. “It`s not the same if someone else dies for me. Then it`s not bad luck or anything. It`s my fault. And I don`t think I can live with that.”

Miryam tilts her head back and looks up at the sky. That is the curse of their friendship – all three of them would die for each other, but neither could live with themselves if that happened.

“We`ve survived this far”, she says, “We won`t die now.”

Jurian picks up a stone and throws it into the bushes. “You usually lie better than that.”

She turns around to him and looks him straight in the eye. “We`ll all get out of this alive”, she repeats with as much confidence as she can muster.

“Thank you.” He gives her a sad smile. “I almost believe you.”

----

Jurian turns the letter around in his fingers again and again. The paper is thick and surprisingly heavy. Expensive.

The exterior of the letter is as pretty and styled up as the contents. Clythia finds the most beautiful, poetic words to get her point across. She compares him to Lokus, one of the Fae`s legendary warriors, and herself to Eshi, his lover who fought beside him. Jurian may not be very well-versed in Fae mythology, but even without having to ask Drakon, he is pretty sure that Lokus and Eshi were on the same side in their long-ago war. However, that detail doesn`t seem to deter Clythia from waxing poetry about the similarities and how they were meant for each other.

It seems the female who gleefully slaughters his people in battle has a romantic streak.

Clythia ends the letter by asking him to meet her tomorrow. It isn`t the first letter of that kind Jurian receives – Clythia writes him at least once a month – and under normal circumstances, he would have thrown it into the fire like he did with all the others. But this time, he hesitates.

At this point, it is abundantly clear that his side is not exactly winning the war anymore. And the longer this war rages, the higher the chance that someone he cares about ends up dead. If they manage to win at all. But his relationship with Clythia might give them an edge. It could mean the difference between victory and defeat for the Alliance, life and death for his friends.

You promised Miryam, he reminds himself. But she was only ever against the relationship because she worried about him. She thought he wouldn`t be able to handle what being with Clythia did to him. But he can manage. He has to.

A knock sounds on the entrance. Jurian instinctively hides the letter behind his back, then immediately feels stupid. He puts it on his desk and calls, “Come in!”

A soldier pokes his head through the entrance. “Lady Miryam and Prince Drakon need you in the war tent.”

Now, Jurian feels twice as caught. “I`ll be there in a minute.”

Once he`s alone in his tent, he turns back around to the letter. Lips pressed into a tight line, he stares at it. Then, he hastily scribbles a reply and watches the letter vanish into thin air. He spins around and stalks out of the room.

Meeting Clythia is the right thing to do. What does it matter what it does to Jurian if it can help them win this war? That`s what Miryam wants, too – surely she wouldn`t mind. Whatever it takes. That was their deal from the first day on. Well, this is what it takes. Besides, Miryam already told him that she didn`t mind him meeting Clythia. He is making the right choice. The only choice, really. He`ll tell her right after this meeting.

Still, he is sure that the shame is written plainly on his face when he enters the war tent. Miryam is sitting on a chair, knees drawn up to her chest, Drakon leans against the edge of the strategy table. His shoulder healed well and he has been back to fighting for four days now.

“Something happened?”, Jurian asks.

“We got orders from the council”, Drakon says and begins to explain the situation.

Apparently, they have reports of Amarantha`s army being stationed a few hundred miles further north. The Alliance only has a smaller force in that area, and they have been ordered to send reinforcements so that they can ambush Amarantha. Jurian has a hard time focusing on what Drakon is saying. His mind keeps drifting to the letter he sent. Is Miryam looking at him strangely? Surely she notices that something is off.

She looks so tired. These past months have been hard for her. Hard for all them, but Miryam with her tendency to feel responsible for everything is worst off. Maybe telling her about his plan with Clythia isn`t the right thing to do. It will just be one more thing for her to worry about. Better if he meets with Clythia and tells her about it afterwards. He doesn`t plan on more than one meeting, anyways.

“Jurian?”, Miryam asks.

“What?”

“You didn`t hear a word Drakon said, did you?” She sighs. “When is the last time you slept?”

“Yesterday? For at least three hours.”

“Well, that`s more than me.” Drakon grins at him. “I said that I should probably take my soldiers north while you remain here. We`ll be quicker if we don`t have to carry any human soldiers and the order we received said that speed was of importance for this mission.”

Jurian nods distractedly. “Maybe it`s for the best if you take Miryam as well. In case you need magical back-up.”

And as an added benefit, Miryam will be miles away when he meets with Clythia. That way, he won`t even be in a position where he has to tell her in advance. He`ll just meet with Clythia, try to get as much information out of her as possible. After that, he can kill her. He`ll tell Miryam when she gets back. That way, she doesn`t need to worry. It`s a perfect plan.

Miryam frowns at him, though. Too late, he remembers that it has been their unspoken agreement these past few months that he doesn`t push her to use her powers if it isn`t absolutely necessary. In return, she keeps working on the wall and occasionally teaches him a few of the simpler spells. Jurian doesn`t entirely understand where that new hesitation regarding her powers comes from and when he asks, Miryam just keeps repeating that she`s worried about losing control. Not that he`s ever seen that happen.

“Just in case it`s necessary”, he adds and smiles at Miryam.

He forbids himself from feeling any irritation about her hesitance. He`d give his right arm for abilities like hers, but at the end of the day, he knows too little about magic to really understand what she is struggling with.

“Good.” Drakon jumps to his feet. “Then I`ll get my soldiers ready.” To Miryam, he adds, “We leave in an hour.”

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