#clumsyadventurer

[fatuispolaris-archive]

@clumsyadventurer​ asked: “Killed him? wait, what, literally?”

childe blinks a few times, taken aback by bennett’s own confusion. what was so shocking about that? he was an adventurer, was he not? sometimes… some people needed to be knocked off their perch. all in a day’s work, really. 

“well, yes. i did kill him. just a clean slit across the throat. what else could i have possibly meant by that? on the bright side, he’ll never bother you again! aren’t you glad you have a new big bro to look out for you?”

[celesticlnstcrs-aa]

@clumsyadventurer​ asked: Hey there, Mr. Bard! I come with some good food for you to help with your hangover! :D

“ Aww that’s so thoughtful of y--”

“ . . . ”

ᴜɴᴘʀᴏᴍᴘᴛᴇᴅ ᴀsᴋ ;; always accepting

[wendeiwisp]

@clumsyadventurer asked: A sheepish smile appears on his face as he recognizes the familiar bard passing by Timmie from behind the side of the bridge. "Hey, uh, Mr. Bard," he says trying to get his attention. "I think I might need some help..." He raises his hands-- bound together by slime condensate-- waving them in the air.

" B-bennett maybe you should go into the water-? "

Why did he have to stop him when slimes were involved!? Now he couldn't say no cause it would leave a bad impression!

ᴜɴᴘʀᴏᴍᴘᴛᴇᴅ ᴀsᴋs ;; always accepting

[fatuispolaris-archive]

@clumsyadventurer  said:  Don't  worry,  Childe.  We  all  have  our  bad  days  but  it'll  get  better.  That's  what  my  dads  tell  me  :)

“no need to worry, comrade! i’m not hurt by it! if everyone hates me, it just means they’ll want to fight me more!” 

[fatuispolaris-archive]

@clumsyadventurer​ said: “Heya, dude! I heard you were back in Mondstadt so I made you a dish! I’m practicing my cooking. :D” 

“oh wow? for me? really? thanks buddy! your awesome new big bro figure will happily chow down on such a scrumptious looking dish!”

[fatuispolaris-archive]

"I don't know if I can do all that. What if when I hypothetically approach her, I get so nervous I vomit? Can I come up from that?"

"... yeah, i don't think there's any coming back from that benny, sorry. you gotta just avoid barfing."

[fatuispolaris-archive]

"Heya Childe, you seem pretty popular with the ladies, and the gentlemen-- I guess all people, really. Do you have any advice for how to get your crush's attention?"

"i'm glad to see you've noticed my incredible charm and skill when it comes to pulling the ladies and gents, young benny. honestly, i'd say to just be a little smooth with it. give them compliments here and there, look right into their eyes, and smirk a little when you say something like 'girlie, you've got a real pretty smile'. it works everytime--trust me."

[fatuispolaris-archive]

bennett slips on fresh boar feces and falls onto his butt with enough force to make his soiled shoe fly off and into childe's a prize catch soup.

"woah, hey--benny, are you alright? that was a pretty nasty fall, there," although he's upset about his soup that he's spent hours perfecting for the both of them, he's far more concerned about his poor unlucky friend. it seems just being around him extends the bad luck further... ah well.

[fatuispolaris-archive]

"I also brought you this neat Mondstadt dessert called a Snickle. It's a pickle with chocolate, caramel, and nuts inside." He digs in his back pocket, revealing a crushed snickle wrapped in a napkin. Sheepishly, he adds, "Sorry, it's a bit smashed. I ran out of room in my front pockets."

unprompted asks || always accepting

"aw really, for me? thanks benny!" childe happily accepts the snickle, and immediately starts chowing down on it, even if it was a bit crushed. childe was used to eating rather... odd combinations of food, so this mondstadt dessert was a delicacy to him, like any other delicious morsel of food. "i gotta take you back to my mom's place sometime. i'm sure you guys would bond over cooking all sorts of good stuff!"

[celesticlnstcrs-aa]

@clumsyadventurer​ asked: (for venti <3) “I really want pizza right now, think it’s open?”

“ Of course~, the night life of Mondstadt is anything but dead. You just have to look in the right place~. ”

Plus something greasy after a round of  drinks does wonders to sober someone up.

ᴜɴᴘʀᴏᴍᴘᴛᴇᴅ ᴀsᴋs ;; always accepting

[fatuispolaris-archive]

continued from @clumsyadventurer

“what? do i really look like the kind of guy that would kidnap you?” childe gasped, offended at such an implication. he was a very nice guy, especially with kids. sure, his uniform and mask might have looked scary, and maybe his eyes looked dull and lifeless, but he was a nice guy!  “look kid, i’m not gonna hurt you. i might be a member of the fatui, but i’m a cool guy. just ask the traveler and paimon. nicest guy ever here, yup!” he pointed to himself, proud and making a mental note to maybe refrain from saying anything that made him sound like a ‘crazy bloodthirsty warrior’ (which he was, but he digressed). “i came here because you looked like you needed help. you were running away from... electro slimes. did you forget your weapon or something?” 

[fatuispolaris-archive]

what is the flavor of your soul?

salt

ah little kraken, bold are you. restless sailor, dauntless fighter, lower your sword, let me see your shield. ah, of course, they are but the same object. oh wave-tossed ruffian, lend me some of your mettle would you? you have been struck by the sharpest of spears yet you still stand here proudly. but off your guard, elsewhere of the battlefield, you will find your spirit can parch others. your words are but weapons crafted from your soul. little lion, sheathe your claws, or the ones you love the most will suffer. you do not have to be strong all the time love, there's nothing wrong with being soft. vulnerability is not weakness, and if it were, what's wrong with that? strength is not always your greatest tool, your heart is good. put down excalibur, and use your words. you'll find they will carry you much farther. not everything in life is a battle.

tagged by: @inyvat tagging: @celesticlnstcrs, @assembledstars, @clumsyadventurer, @al-hazen, @pussinbccts, @anemofavored, and anyone else who wants to do this!