#close the fucking stream where they're at and watch someone else or do something else

[notreallyuseless]

I was starting to get a little bit too upset about the Purgatory event and do you know what i did??? I closed the qsmp tag, closed my eyes, took a deep breath and did something else :) It's *alright* to be a bit upset about some stuff, it's totally normal. But we all need to chill and take it easy. It's a game. Getting upset at cc/admins will get you nowhere. If there's a problem, the cc are *all* adults, they can talk to each other. Yeah, some things might seems unfair (i'm the first to think that!) but those feelings will get us nowhere so let them go and do other stuff !! :)

[thechaoticplayer]

The Confident Student Council President 🔞

Author's note: had this sitting in my drafts for about 2 weeks... giggling and twirling hair- this didnt come out exactly the way I want it but I guess I'll cope + ratio

Summary: your stupid ahh male friend asks you to get the shoulder pads (that he forgot) for football practice. however, you werent expecting the student council president to be inside, the man you've been crushing on for quite some time now...

Contains: x reader, Dom! Ver Vermillion, him being super demanding and sweet at the same time, this was inspired by his fucking shower stream (I WAS SCREAMING), theres a bit of plot, praise, smut yet again it's not even a surprise anymore

VER VERMILLION was something to admire. In class, he had a sense of authority to him, but never abused the power he was bestowed with. He was very gentle but stern, like an mature older brother. Ver had no problem putting someone in their place, and it put you in awe of him. You quietly watched him from afar. Noticed every tiny detail about him.

Ver's hands. They're so pretty, but with a single gesture, he could make the whole room silent.

Ver's voice. Calm and low, still somehow heard over the ruckus of the classroom. When he raised his voice in the slightest, everyone knew to shut up.

Ver's smile. He was constantly smiling. A soothing smile that put everyone at ease. He could easily charm anyone within a 10 feet radius with his smile alone.

Ver's face. Sometimes an expression of relief, of slight irritation, of slight happiness. You wondered what expression he'd make if you littered his face with kisses. then you quickly shook the idea out of your head, because it was highly unlikely of ever occurring.

Everyone knew who Ver Vermillion was. Hardly anyone knows you, never the less know of your existence. You were content with that, because you could never be someone near as popular as Ver. Besides, you weren't anything much, just another valedictorian who gets asked the answers to questions.

Speaking of which...

A classmate leans over to your desk, where you sit scrawling down notes. "Psst. Hey."

An internal sigh. "Yes?"

He glances at the teacher before looking back at you. "Do you have the answer to number four?"

"Yes. Right here." You point to your sheet and angle it to him, where he stares for a good moment and nods.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

Back to being ignored again. Not that you minded.

Your attention shifts back to the council president. He was nearly in every single class you had, which you were grateful for. It was nice to observe him. Not in a creepy way. Thatd be weird.

Ver speaks with a student to his left, a small smile on his face, eyes twinkling mysteriously. You pondered what went on that head of his. He had to deal with students almost all the time. How did he deal with it all? Especially the annoying ones. God, what a pain in the ass.

You didn't realize you were staring at Ver until he glances in your direction, eyes locking for a split second. Fear and embarrassment flash through your body as you jerk your head back down, as if you weren't awkwardly staring at the man not too long ago. This happened frequently, to your dismay. Always staring and always caught. No way to escape the council president.

Did he think you were a freak for doing so? maybe.

You didn't look up the rest of the class period.

With a swing of your bag, you hold the bag on one shoulder, adjusting the strap to your liking. You push in the chair and weave through the stream of people out the classroom. You were on your way to meet with a close friend of yours, the only person you considered a "friend" anyway.

He was doing his football practice today, which you usually always came to. You had nothing else better to do anyway. He contrasted your introverted side, him being such a people pleaser. It wasn't a surprise that others began to ship you two together. But you two were just friends. Nothing more. Besides, you had eyes on someone else. And your friend knew that. Constantly teasing about your red cheeks everytime you were in close proximity with Ver. Each time earned him a "shut up!" And a punch to the shoulder.

A small bzzt vibrates in your pocket. With another series of buzzes to go with it. You paw through the one hundred millions of things in your pockets before pulling out the desired object. Your screen lights up to reveal texts from... well speak of the devil.

Hey uh... ik ur on ur way to my practice, but could you get my shoulder pads for me?

I totally forgot abt them

Hurry up coach is gonna kill me

How the fuck did this kid forget one of the most important things of playing such a violent sport? Space cadet...

You respond with a quick "yea" before scurrying off towards the direction of the boys' locker room. You actually had to shove past a couple of people, which you hated to do because that's being an asshole, but you also didn't want your friend to get yelled at by his strict coach.

You halt at door, furtively searching around the place before just rushing inside. You don't need any speculation on your plate along with huge packets of work. Upon seeing no one, you sneak inside.

Now which locker has his stuff in it? You quickly tap out the question and send it. You look around frantically, the "delicious" scent of sweaty men in the air. God, they need some damn air freshener.

You open each locker and judge from the sport bag which one was his. He wasn't answering, causing the anxiety to rise steadily. You really didn't want to get caught in here.

Deciding to calm yourself, you pause and recollect your thoughts. Clearing your mind, your ears pick up the sound of running water. Confused, you approach the sound. Did one of them forget to turn off the faucet? But it sounded more of a shower on, and as you approached, steam exited out the doorway of which you presumed was the showers.

You scratch your head. Who would be in here? All the boys are already outside. Who the hell would be showering right now anyway? One of these football heads must've left the shower on.

You peek inside, squinting through the steam. That has to be some hot water. You peer through the some to see a lean figure under the shower head. The steam clears a bit and your eyes widen.

Rivulets of water roll down his skin, spiraling down from his chest, down his abs, to his thighs, down his sculpted calves. He raises his arms up to run his fingers through his hair, his back muscles rippling with the motion. His arms aren't extremely muscular, but you could tell he worked out. You only could see him from the back, as your gaze traveled further down, your face felt extremely hot and a hundred million thoughts went through your mind.

Ver Vermillion.

You were... spying on the student council president. in the shower.

Oh god. In the shower. He was so...

Fucking hot.

You skitter back, almost slipping on the tile and banging your head against the changing stalls. A hand pressed to your mouth to keep you from screeching. Emotional moment. very fucking emotional. Suppressing your urge to scream on the top of your lungs because oh my god? Thousand hundred question marks?

You hurry back to the locker area, ramming your shoulder hard into a locker after taking a turn too fast. You hiss in pain, rubbing your shoulder.

"Hello?" Ver's voice calls. You curse yourself. "Is someone there?"

Nope nope. You're Casper.

You run into the other hall of lockers as the sound of water slapping tile approaches. You cease breathing through your fingers, your heart like a jack rabbit in your chest. You press your back into the metal, wishing you could just melt into the locker.

"I know you're in here. I can feel the prescence of a soul."

Sheeeeesh... was there anyway of escaping this? you eye the only exit, the only one you entered through. If you sprinted, would he be able to make out your face? He'd probably wouldn't even recognize your back; you weren't anyone extremely memorable or anything.

"Don't even try to run. I'll catch you," Ver says, voice light. "Might as well show yourself."

You sigh, concluding the fact you could not escape unscathed. You edge closer towards the corner of the wall, peering over to look at Ver.

A hand clutching the towel around his waist, he watches you reveal yourself with a flash of surprise and was that recognition? before it was replaced with a stern look.

"Would you like to tell me what you're doing in the boys' locker room?" Ver questions, seemingly not minding the fact he was practically naked. Way too confident to be okay with the presence of a female in his midst. which was very attractive. But not the point.

Your cheeks burn. "...my friend, who is on the boys' football team, forgot his shoulder pads." You tried not to stare for too long.

You shift your weight from foot to foot as he raises a skeptical brow at you. "Why couldn't he get it himself?"

"He's already on the field," you answer lamely. "Plus his coach... is mean."

Ver walks and pauses in front of you, holding a hand up near your chest. You stare, confused. He seems to be studying something before closing his hand. "You aren't trying to be deceitful. However..."

"Yes?" You swallow, the heat becoming unbearable. You could feel the heat resonate off him. A throbbing ache between your legs cause you to squeeze your legs together.

Ver's eyes darken, the hand now cupping your chin. "I can feel your desire. for me."

Hellllloooooo?

Your breath catches, unusable to look away from his startling gaze. "Uh..."

"You've been watching me. You always seem to be looking out for me without knowing. That small box of mochi, my favorite... that was you, wasn't it? And the line of students trying to ask me questions were suddenly cut in half, stating that their questions were answered by someone else." Ver observes your facial expression and you can't help but break eye contact. "I see."

"I can explain?" You whisper quietly, your skin flaming at his touch.

"You can, and you will. You see, I've been watching you as well. I've caught on to you, so I decided to watch you. Always helping others, without wanting anything back. Willing to do anything to help me because..." Ver pauses. "Why?"

"Because..." you falter. Might as well spit it out, right? You gulp again. "Because..."

His eyes bore into you, and it wasn't helping. Maybe he didn't need to know after all?

"Why don't you show me?"

"...What?"

"Show me why."

You stare at the council president. What exactly was he asking? Then it clicked. Oh. But... you couldn't dare to-

Could you?

Just this once. Life is short, right? and he's so close...

You slowly rise onto your toes, closing the distance between you and Ver. Before your nose touches you stop suddenly, the anxiety and nervousness causing you to halt. What if this was a mistake? what if he didn't want to kiss you? what if this isn't what he meant at all? What if-

A small groan exits his lips as Ver grabs the back of your head and pulls you close until his mouth finds yours. Your eyes widen with a gasp and he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue inside your mouth.

You whine softly, letting go of all the worries and throw your arms around him tightly. Ver groans once more, his hands gripping your hips as the hot make-out session continues, inappropriate wet sounds echoing through the room.

You stutter backwards and your back hits the locker and continue, tongues dancing together as Ver tugs on your shirt. You pull away, pulling the shirt over your head, and smash your lips against his once more.

Ver's hands roam all over your torso, sliding up your waist to your back, unclipping your bra but not removing it.

He breathes against your neck, "Is this what you want?"

"Yes," you reply, just as breathless.

"Are you sure?" Ver gazes into your eyes, searching for the affirmative.

You nod, leaning to his face to nip at his bottom lip.

He explodes.

Ver throws the bra away with a low growl, biting your neck and eliciting a quiet moan from you. You unbuckle your own pants, the pants dropping down to the floor as Ver sucks love bites all over your delicate skin. One hand fondling your breast, his thumb lightly skimming your tit and a stammered breath escapes you.

"Your tits are already hard," Ver notes, pinching one of them and making you squeal, flushing horribly. "I wonder if..."

A finger presses itself against your clothed cunt and you whimper, holding onto his shoulders tightly. Ver sighs, rubbing circles on your sensitive area.

"I can feel how soaking wet you are... this whole time, you wanted me this bad?" He chuckles quietly, enjoying the way your legs quiver in anticipation. "I'll show you how much I want you too."

His finger slides underneath your panties and meets your clit. You gasp, biting you lip as the council president works his magic on your wet pussy, his ministrations causing you to whimper. Ver kisses your neck, mumbling praises against your skin.

"You're doing such a good job..." Ver whispers, two fingers inside you now and you moan. He pumps the two in and out quickly, his long fingers almost kissing your g-spot and it makes it harder for you to hold yourself up. "Good girl..."

You whimper louder. "Please..."

"Please what, sweetheart?" Ver purrs, somehow increasing speed and your moans increase in volume. "Are you going to cum?"

You nod quickly, the ache growing tenfold. But then he stopped. You open your mouth to ask but when he rips your panties. You squeak in surprise as he hoists you up, your legs instinctively locking around his hips. Ver's towel audibly drops to the floor.

Ver's tip nudges against your hole. He looks at you. "May I?"

"Y-yes," you stammer, burying your face into his neck.

His tip nudges into you, entering completely and bottoms out, groaning. You moan loudly, your walls clenching around his hot cock. He filled you up completely and tears blur your vision slightly. Ver stretched you out deliciously, and he started to thrust in and out.

His nails dig into your hips as he slots his hips up against yours, grunting in your ear and leaving sloppy kisses all over you. Ver kisses you deeply, swallowing your noises as your juices stick between your bodies. You felt extremely warm all over.

His cock drags in and out your walls, pressing against the spot repeatedly. Pleasure racks your body. You rake your nails across his back, toes curled as the council president rams himself into you. The metal door groans against the movement.

"Shit..." Ver mumbles with a small groan. His dick throbs hard inside you as you clench around him. "I'm so close baby, s' close..."

A small whine as the only response you give as you squeeze your legs around him, the only indication of your incoming orgasm. He speeds up, panting hard.

"Cum with me, sweetheart, cum with me," he speaks in one breath.

You nod, lips parted as you lean your head back against the locked. "Yesyesyesyes-"

His seed ribbons inside as your own cum squirts all over his cock, a soft and drawn out moan in your hair as his hips stutter against you. Your legs limp as your chest rises up and down quickly, sweat shining on your skin. It felt awfully sticky down there, but you didn't mind one bit when Ver looked up at you with a soft and affectionate gaze.

He brushes the hair plastered to your forehead away and says softly, "you're so beautiful, you know that?"

"I..." You blush, leaning into his touch. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Let's clean you up." Still inside you, probably because the man didn't want to pull out just quite yet, he carries you to the showers to wash you up.

THE NEXT DAY...

Ver smiles at you from across the room and you wave, blushing hard. The both of you were officially dating after the... well. Burst of sudden confession you two did.

Your friend, however, was extremely awkward around you and Ver. He was constantly avoiding yours and the president's gaze for some odd reason. You have been meaning to ask him, so you lean close to him.

"Hey, you've been acting weird. What's up? Is it because I didn't get your shoulder pads and got in trouble?" You tease with a small smile.

The tips of his ears go red as he stares down at his desk. "About that..." he clears his throat. "I... did try to get them but..."

Realization hits you in the face like a brick wall. Your entire skin takes on a pink hue. "You-"

"Yeahhhh. I should've stayed put honestly..."

"Oh. My. god."

"Not that I care or anything. Go get some girl, I guess."

"Please shut up."

"Sounds like you two were getting into it pretty-"

You punch him. Hard. A yelp of pain satisfies you and Ver looks over at you two, startled. you smile sweetly.

Greatest two days of your life.

[myrmica]

mer my dear mutual mer i would like to ask you how do i get into lifesteal

HELLO FARLANDS!! you've come to the right place. Step into my office.

this is an interesting question with a variety of different answers. a lot of the time people seem to direct you towards videos rather than stream vods, which does makes sense, because they're more accessible and the barrier to entry is definitely less daunting.

but lifesteal videos aren't episodic, they're designed for a viewer to be able to jump in with little to no context at any moment. they throw a lot of information at you fast as hell, and events spanning hours and hours of footage are condensed down in ways where most of the meat gets cut off. i have a hard time absorbing information from or remembering what happens in lifesteal videos because of the editing styles... i don't claim that this isn't in large part a taste thing, but in videos you miss the complicated character moments, and the sense of pacing/chronology, and all of the things that happen that don't translate well to video logic. and you don't get to see (as much of) the dimension of things where the fact that everyone is trying to make videos can be character and story relevant information. all of these things are what make lifesteal season 4 my favorite minecraft roleplay ever in the world. i guess i would say that i do like lifesteal videos, but mostly in relation to the livestreams.

all of which means that while pretty much any lifesteal video ever produced can make for a perfectly serviceable starting point, it doesn't really get you any of the things about lifesteal --i-- care about. and you're asking ME. So.

what is the deal with lifesteal in general?

you probably know at least some of this already, but for the sake of the thing:

lifesteal is a server based around a mechanic where, upon killing someone, you gain one of the hearts off of their health bar up to a maximum of 20. if you lose all of your hearts you're banned, but this is temporary and players can be revived. it's also a server where you're free to steal and destroy builds to your heart's content, and people toy with breaking the rules they do have often. so it naturally follows that lifestealers are generally interested in pvp, and have a social system where the most important relationships are your teammates, who come before basically anything else. lifesteal IS roleplay but it isn't scripted, and what they mean by unscripted is that the outcomes of a conflict can't be predetermined, because that would defeat the point—if something goes wrong, it goes wrong. (and hopefully, it goes right for somebody else.)

why season 4?

short answer, because it's the one that has the guys i care about in the situations i care about. the long answer is at 9k words and not even close to done yet so you're gonna have to wait a bit on that one.

the medium answer: while you could go back and watch through season 3 in detail, or try to just start watching season 5 and keep up with stuff live as it happens, that's not what i did. i have it on good authority that the mer guide to lifesteal season 4 works, because i did that, and also because my friend whose initial reaction to lifesteal was "wow this subz guy is loud..." and then radio silence for months has since sat through 30 hours of princezam building stream of his own free will. see review below:

lifesteal can be sort of an acquired taste. i think a lot of the time it either clicks for you or it doesn't, or you have to see the right thing and then suddenly the appeal starts making sense.

luckily, the aftermath of zam betraying mapicc & ro in season 4 tends to have this effect on people, and it's a good jumping in point! i didn't actually start watching season 4 chronologically, i started by bouncing around the last couple weeks of the season and quickly discovering that it was bonkers fucking crazy and i needed to know more about this "eclipse federation" thing... so i don't really think knowing how it ends makes it less fun to watch, and if you wanted to just poke around at random and see what's up i wouldn't stop you. i went back and sat through everything between that aforementioned betrayal and the end of season 4 chronologically after i already knew how things ended up and it's thoroughly enjoyable that way. maybe even better than the alternative, because you're less likely to get caught up in how frustrating some of it can be. but if you would rather know as little as possible going in you can definitely give it a shot, and i do think there are parts that are probably even more fun if you don't know what's coming.

how do i do that though?

and here is my gift to you. when i watched through season 4 all i had to go off of was the vod archive spreadsheet, which is great & wonderful & awesome & the best thing ever, but it does kinda just have you clicking links blindfolded if you don't already know what's going on.

so eventually i started keeping track of vods as i watched, in a google doc. it has clips and/or timestamps and summaries for basically every vod in the second half of season 4. it's a little embarrassing because it records a bunch of my initial reactions to stuff but c'est la vie. it's also 85 pages long (it was 105! i edited my notes down!), but again you can jump around to get a lay of the land if you want, and how much stuff you skip is completely at your own discretion. have at it.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s2 episode 4 thoughts

i thought this episode sounded interesting! the plot was kinda: wasn't it fucked up when the vietnam war happened? and i was sitting here like, yeah, quite famously it was pretty fucked up. still, an interesting exploration into trauma and the american role of imperialism

the first thing i wrote was "a lot of people in this show fall asleep watching the tv but personally i have never done that". am i immune to the Curse or something?

so this guy who is a sleep doctor sees a fire and he calls the fire department right away, and everyone is evacuating, and we see a dude in the hallway with a suspicious smile and an even more suspicious scar across his neck. i am used to the episode structure by now, so i knew this was our mystery man of the week.

but the firemen get to the burning fellow's house and there is no fire! despite it looking so real to him that he actually burned to death... it's not there! well huh! must be our mystery man can psychically project fire

cutscene to mulder's place and it again looks like an entirely new set for his apartment. again, i ask, i'm not crazy, right?? can someone else confirm that this is an entirely different space than what we saw before?

(i hope we don't see scully in a new space as well- i thought her apartment was so cute in s1)

he gets a newspaper and a tape of the call dropped off at his door so he runs to skinner and begs with his big sad wet eyes to please let him take the case. and skinner is like maybe. but go transcribe a bunch of wiretaps first. so THAT is why he's always listening to weird stuff!

BUT WAIT! who enters our fair scene...? but a NEW CHARACTER? he is a guy who looks like he crawled out of a frat house where he majored in lacrosse and business... he introduces himself as alex and says that this is HIS case... mulder is PISSED he's all "i work alone >:(" but he can't shake the dude off... hmm.

(i recall seeing a post about people slash shipping mulder with a character in s2- i saw this post way before i started watching the show, so i only noted it in my passing interest of fandom history- and i'm wondering if this is the fellow they were referring to. in the same post i saw mulder in a speedo which i guess we'll get to in time)

scully's back at the academy!!! teaching another autopsy class! boy they must have a steady stream of bodies coming in for this. but an urgent call is coming from a "george hale" and she leaves class to go answer...

and it's mulder!!!!! he has a code name!!! he asks her to fly up to new york and do an autopsy and she's like "i'm in class til 4:30" and he's like "that's fine, we'll wrap it up for you and you can come up at 5!" and she sighs and. agrees.

now. again. this was shocking to me. mulder cannot have anyone else draw his blood or do an autopsy it HAS to be his friend scully. and she WILL get on a flight and do it. this is SICK and TWISTED how she will do anything for him.

mulder was being a real jerk to alex and alex said "i don't appreciate being ditched like a bad date" and to my shock and dismay i found myself agreeing with this new character... mulder WAS being unreasonable... i mean we knew he's been moody lately but this was downright hostile

(mulder walks in while scully puts an organ into a scale) "spleen or pancreas?" "stomach" <- LMAO his ass did NOT pass anatomy!

and they're all so smiley and happy to see each other when. scully sees this man behind him. and her smile fades SO fast.

(he tries to shake her hand but given that her hands are covered in stomach she wisely brushes him by. it may have seemed like a diss but i assume he doesn't want gore on his hands)

alex is GAGGING over the body (me too) so mulder gets realllllll close to scully to block out his amateur hour buffoonery...

(y'all need to not be that close and looking at each other in such a manner in front of a dead guy... or do it more for my sake)

she's whispering that it seems his body believed he burned to death despite there being no burns on him!

we see another guy with a same scar on his neck as the first!!! he knows the first guy and it seems initially that their reunion is wholesome... until preacher (scar man one) admits to killing the sleep doctor... and then things get... wild

"holy fuck", i mumbled to myself while also writing down the same phrase in my notes, as a blood soaked family appeared in the room, shooting the character we just met for his crimes. that escalated with an extreme quickness. it was clear that whatever traumas he had inflicted upon others in vietnam were being returned in equal measure via the psychic force of this preacher character

then we go back to mulder and alex, who i thought was handling mulder's hater energy quite well, all things considered. but little did i know what was to come...

so sleep doctor, the guy who just died, and preacher all knew each other... interesting... they were stationed at basic training together...

we get a visual on mulder's new source after deep throat's passing! he says he has no desire to be there, and that their mutual friend deep throat died for what he believed in, which he does not want to do. which is of course totally fair. at the end of the day the FBI is just a paycheck for some of these folks.

the sleep doctor was revealed to be doing experiments to make super advanced soldiers who don't need sleep so maybe that gives you the power to kill people magically. we can't really rule it out.

preacher then makes two cops kill EACH OTHER with his sorcery

back to scully cam <3 she's got her glasses on at the computer <3 she's got little yellow earrings in that look like flowers <3 and she thinks its so cool that they cut part of this guy's brain out and now he hasn't slept in 24 years... nerd

they're on the phone with each other and it is SO SAD because why. why can't they just be together! it's not fair. she says it sounds like his new partner is working out and he's like yeah he's okay...

"must be nice to not have someone poking holes in all your theories" "yeah, no idea how i put up with you for so long" and they're smiling into the phone while saying this

now, i won't lie. this scene, of all the scenes, was the first to bring tears to my eyes in the course of my streaming this show. because now we have seen what they'll do for each other and they're TAUNTING me by dangling it in front of my face. and i cannot stand it. i feel sick at the thought.

anyway back to mulder and his new partner. who i feel is too good to be true because he's willing to believe spooky mulder's theories. but they found another guy who also had the sleep surgery and he tells them that they went on a rampage committing atrocities in vietnam which was. very heavy for the alien show. but it is something that americans often pretend just didn't happen so i thought it was interesting that the idea of accountability was being explored in fiction.

so there's one more guy involved with the sleep surgery, and he's coming into town, so alex and mulder have to sprint down to the station and try and find him. they're really giving it a sprint, too. mulder is a track star. don't think i've forgotten

and mulder does see the guy they're looking for but preacher is behind him and shoots mulder! he falls to the ground! no, i yelled to my screen! not another bullet in mulder!

... but he gets up. the whole thing was a trick of preacher! it never actually happened!

alex is like dude wtf. and this is where he says "i want to believe" and this where i made the very astute note "i don't trust this guy, sorry"

so finally they find preacher still alive, and mulder tells alex to help out his victim, while mulder runs off to find him. mulder sees how much pain he is in, and tells him that maybe his pain can lessen if he testifies about what was done to him, and it seems they've come to an understanding...

until alex enters, pulls his gun up, so preacher also pulls his gun up, and alex and shoots him! preacher is dead

mulder looks deeply upset by this. he tells alex that he did the right thing, but you can tell he doesn't believe it in the slightest. i would venture to guess that this is when all the trust he had begun to place in alex vanishes. he seems entirely deflated at the unnecessary loss of life.

he goes back to the car and notices someone stole the secret files that his informant gave him, and he punches the car. this is simply too many L's for one day, and i sympathize.

but scully's freaking out too, because her office was broken into and all her stuff looked through! so what in the name of hell is going on here?!?!? ah, i realize, it is this alex fool... "i know ur related somehow" i wrote ominously in my quotes

and boy, i was right! the narrative the writers were going for was not lost on me! because remember skinner's old sidekick the cigarette guy? and how they had a sort of breakup moment? well, alex is reporting to him, and they have the file he stole from mulder!!!!!

alex says that scully is a "big problem" to which i say: keep talking like that, you overgrown varsity jock, and you're gonna have a big problem with my fucking hands catching your throat

anyway, interesting episode. i didn't want to like alex and then i did because i felt bad for him for being subjected to mulder's attitude and then i hated his guts by the end and reluctantly admitted to myself that mulder's crankiness was justified. i hope he won't stick around for long but i have a feeling he will.

also, they need to stop taunting me by dangling a real mulder and scully reunion in front of my head and then ripping it away. i had TEARS! in my eyeballs! i was sighing wistfully! it was sick!!!!!! this is my free time i'm spending here pining after these fools! it's me, the fan, asking for fan service!!!

[hisbucky]

Bucky and Buck, two handsome blue eyed men I can't help but have a weakness for.

Flash Fic #2 (MCU x 911 Crossover)

[Takes place at the end of CA: Winter Soldier]

2014

What the hell.

With tense shoulders, his eyes scan all of the documents being released at large, catching glimpses of names and potential operatives every other second as it flashed by on the screen. He doesn’t recognise any of them, not the ones he is seeing at least, but even so, it fills him with a sense of dread that the fact remains true.

The agency has been compromised.

Eddie, where's Eddie —

“Fuck. Fucking fuck!” For all the times he’s heard the other swear, it has never been with this amount of urgency, which tells him just how screwed up the situation is.

Before the panic could set in, Buck watches as his employer’s hands move even quicker to divert the constant stream of data, separating them into categories his own eyes cannot hope to follow. The display is enough to jolt him out of his shock, and he manages to squeak out a strangled “Tony.“

A hologram popping up in his face answers him back, showing him his husband down at the lobby of the tower, face grim and Christopher in his arms. The man is already armed, a sidepiece clearly visible on his belt, and it fills Buck with a surge of relief to see them safe and unharmed within the building.

They're safe, thank fucking God.

As soon as he comprehends the image, the screen then plays a footage of the captain facing off against an unknown adversary. The change in scenery disorients him, but before he could question it, the video changes to another security camera, and he sees the now unmasked figure running past in a blink.

He already knows what he has to do right as the billionaire tells him, “Find him, Buckaroo.” The older man tosses something at him, and he catches it without a word, trusting that it is in his best interest to just accept it.

This is the man he owes his family's lives to after all.

In the next moment, he breathes out, and his eyes gloss over as the light in the room slowly dims out. JARVIS’ voice chatters in his ear even as the everything else fades away, giving him everything he needs to complete his jump.

Next thing he knows, he’s in some alleyway in Washington, face to face with the Winter Soldier, their two shades of blue meeting in the afterglow of his powers. Unbidden, the voice in his ear reports, “Scan complete. 94% match. New Designation: James Buchanan Barnes.”

His heart thunders at the name, and the cube in his hand glows white.

“Found you.”

2012

“Leave. It’s not safe.”

The haggard voice begs at him, but he doesn’t move to comply. Carefully, Evan passes the needle through the thick skin, holding back his tears as he does. Stitching up injuries had never been a skill he thought he needed to use on someone other than for himself, but he is glad to be of some help to the person he’s looked for most of his life.

“Leave,” the man says again, followed by a string of Russian he does not care to understand. “You’re bleeding – stay still,” he grits out, ignoring the other’s heavy gaze on him.

A gentle hand cups his cheek, and Evan shudders out a gasp as the cool metal touch skin. His eyes however, remain on the wound.

His hands don’t stop moving even then, and only when he is finished closing up the wound does the man attempt to speak to him again. Evan finally looks up at the other, and sees the pain in their eyes as they look at him, struggling to let the words pass his lips, “Thank you.”

Then there’s a light prick to his neck.

He doesn’t remember much after that.

As his consciousness fades away, he faintly cries out to the man without a name, desperation and betrayal lacing his tone. His hands instinctively reach out to touch the other’s face as he tries to commit every minute detail to memory in case they ever meet again, if they ever will.

And then darkness claims him.

Evan does not wake in the morning, and dreams of the other leaving before the day breaks. He dreams of fingers combing through his hair, hears the familiar melody of a lullaby from his childhood, before they both simply vanish and disappear.

When he does awaken, it is with a curse on his lips, frustration boiling under his skin at yet another failed attempt. With a resigned groan, Evan lies himself back down on the bed, and glares at the empty ceiling with a scowl on his lips. His next words echo inside the empty room, with no one but himself to hear.

"You can't run away forever... dad."

[vertigoambrosia]

looking at some jujutsu kaisen again

nanami is hilarious; my man fucking hates work just like everyone else

i know spoilers about him but for now we stan one (1) guy who wishes he didn't have to have a job

it's really hard to skip the intro/ending themes on free crunchyroll (at least on the roku app) before the ads come in so i'm lucky the ending theme is really catchy

(i know i could just stream on my computer where i have adblock, but i like being able to watch shit on the tv)

i know about the hidden inventory arc so it's intereting seeing geto here

poor ichiji he's just a little normal guy

noooo leave junpei's mom alone!

that finger had extra crust on it

btw i can't believe in that ending bit gojo basically sent nanamin dickbutt

someone has to have made that edit, right?

what the fuck man! i was not expecting that to happen to junpei

poor guy

...why am i watching curses play popup pirate

nanamiiiiiii

oh no we're getting nanami flashbacks he's done for :(

oh no he's even prettier with the glasses off

i can see why people go feral for him on twitter

YUJIIIIIII

he said FUCK YOUR DOMAIN

uhhh thanks for the meatball recipe i guess?

oh it's tournament time now?

oh jogo has his body again

man i hate mahito so much

those stictches on geto's head are freaking me out; makes me think of lobotomy :(

oh new opening???

i love that nanami and gojo hang out

a robot??????????

man this show's tone is really all over the place

feels weird to have wacky tournament time right after that mahito fight

gojo is loveable but it must be a nightmare actually having to deal with him

new ending is quite skippable i miss the old one

ok now it's tournament time

maybe

ohhh todo is gonna get wrecked, isn't he? (like he deserves)

or wait he thinks he's found his soulmate or something because they both like the same type of girl

seriously what is this

LMAO at the inoki quote

ok for real though why is there a robot

i don't remember the third first year's name and i feel bad about it

tbh i don't remember a lot of student's names rn but it's different since she's a main character (or at least on the same level of character as megumi)

i'm tired of todo honestly

man todo really thinks he and itadori are a Fated Battle i guess

...what's a pepper-kun?

oh what the fuck is this creepy ass mechamaru shit?

omggg baby panda!!!

damn mechamaru probably isn't even that poor guy's real name

i hope...

'humans are creepy' that's such a funny way to put it

eat shit witch girl

oh that nail technique is siiiick

fuck yeah nobara!!

ok but if mai and maki are both rejected by the clan why is mai such a jerk about it?

like obviously mai's life in the clan sucks too, but i'm just not gaining the sympathy for her i feel like i'm suppossed to

ok i didnt' see her not even wanting to be a sorceror coming

maybe i'm being too harsh

another recipe?

ok can the chuunin exams finish already?

i love that this is supposed to be a curse felling contest but everyone's just doing pvp

man the eyes always closed character design really annoys the shit out of me so i'm glad at least kumo has a reason for it

ooo voice guy!

i love miwa and hate the kyoto principal

damn these clans aren't just dysfunctional, they're antiquated sexism dysfunctional

oh mahito's here to end the chuunin exams early

lmaooo wtf the old man's weapon is rock?

these post-episode skits are so weird

i should be asleep but i'm not :)

noo nue :(

and inumaki i guess :(

main boy is back!

hah i guess i'm getting invested enough to not have a lot to say

todo wtf

'imma let u die if you don't hit that move, bestie' (but also give you important advice)

finally after a lot of talking and exposition todo actually starts helping

man i really want to see what his technique is but it is also almost five in the morning and i've watched like six episodes in a row so i guess i'll stop here for now

[grahamkennedy]

Gonna say something that would be controversial if anyone else apart from me had watched Don's Party 1976.

I was kind of rooting for Mack and Jodie to get together. For all the jokes I could make about Graham Kennedy being awkward around women (he really was), he and Victoria Lang did have this very strong on screen chemistry in that film.

There's something disgustingly beautiful about the way they work. Mack is this recently divorced open pervert and Jodie is this very sheltered young conservative and there's a way you could frame that to be unequal but then it's like, you watch more and more how insecure Mack is in his own sexuality (hence the comparisons I always make to Roman Roy, they both play the role of The Creep Who Can't Fuck, and I find a lot of similarities between the performances of Kennedy and Culkin in their respective roles). And you see Jodie as this caged bird, who doesn't want to be quiet, who doesn't want to be in her husband's shadow, who is secretly, well, not a pervert yet but she wants to be.

The nature of Don's Party is that no one gets a happy ending. It's a film I think a lot of Successionistas should see, because it concentrates on the humanity of truly terrible people. In Don's Party they're suburban champagne socialists, not billionaires who can control the world, but this idea of people are all on the same level of abhorrent, trying to navigate these extremely human emotions through their own warped and emotionally stunted lens.

There's no uncensored version of Don's Party on the currently, and you really miss out on a lot if you don't get all the gritty nasty sexy stuff. But like, I'm going to rip my DVD version to the web in the next week or so and then I'm going to encourage people to watch it.

I really desperately want to see the play live as well, but the thing is, so much of what makes the film version so good as a Mack enjoyer is the way Kennedy portrays it. Literally the only other actor I could think of who could give Mack the nervous energy he needs is Kieran Culkin, but then he's not Australian and you can't really set Don's Party in any other country. Someone on Reddit once mentioned that they were only aware of Graham Kennedy because they studied Don's Party while studying theatre, and that makes me wonder if his performance has informed people thereafter.

And I wonder if I'd find Mack and Jodie as a couple as interesting on stage. I find Beresford's adaptations of Williamson plays very lacklustre in that do really feel like a stage play made into a film. The Club is a more egregious version of this imho. But Kennedy, not coming from a theatrical background, really did act like an actual film actor. Which is strange because there were other film actors in both films that really acted like they weren't in a film.

The close ups of Mack and Jodie, the tiny little eye movements and hand movements, that scene where they're dancing? It's very much a film thing. It's not something that I can see transferring easily to stage. But I really want to see what it would look like in a theatre production.

Anyway that is my stream of consciousness rant about a movie none of you have seen.

[eremiie]

pretty for the camera

❥ nsfw | 4.8k words | camboy!eren x reader

❥ content - breeding kink, exhibitionism, choking, dumbification

❥ you had no problem just being behind the scenes of eren’s little livestreams until you catch a glimpse of his comment section. maybe it was time he needed to bring on a guest.

based on this ask here!

ty to @murmikaa @arlerted for beta reading, ily guys!

ewrose: wanna replace ur hand w mine

min1103: fuck u look so good

yasminab: holding my phone with one hand rn

lyssa1997: if only i was there to help you out<3

you made a disgruntled sound as you scrolled through the comment section of eren's live. it was comment after comment, and even though your face would scrunch up in displeasure at each lewd remark, you continued to let your finger drag across the screen to see more.

you didn't know why it made your stomach turn, you were the one who told eren it was okay. you told him you were fine with him recording videos of himself for the internet to see, you told him you were okay with him live streaming while you twisted in a chair in the corner of the room.

you had no reason to be upset when he was the one who repeatedly said, "are you sure, baby? i don't have to do this." and you repeatedly brushed him off and said it was fine. on the plus side, it put a few extra bucks in his pockets for the both of you.

you weren't the jealous type. if you were you probably wouldn't even be able to sit in the same room with him as his hand worked himself in front of a camera in front of hundreds of people. but it was something about the way they talked so explicitly about what belonged to you that made you pout, that made you sink into the chair and glance eren's way one too many times.

but what good would come out of you complaining? watching eren with envy as if he didn't fuck you good every other night— as if that couldn't be you beside him, showing his stream what belonged to you, or better yet having him show his stream what belonged to him.

your legs falls from the seat of the chair until your toes touch the carpet. your hand slips under eren's shirt that you wore, unclasping your flimsy bra and letting it fall around your waist. grabbing the hem of the shirt, you scrunch it between your hands and pull it over the top of your head. once you're in nothing but your panties, you stand up from the chair, making as little noise as possible and toeing over to stand next to the camera.

catching sight of him again almost left you awestruck. the imagery of his head being thrown back and him grunting while his attention lied on the tip of his cock. he must've felt you staring at him because he pulls forward again, half-lidded green eyes meeting yours, making you blink a few times and snap out of the trance he put you in.

catching sight of him again almost left you awestruck. the imagery of his head being thrown back and him grunting while his attention lied on the tip of his cock. he must've felt you staring at him because he pulls forward again, half-lidded green eyes meeting yours, making you blink a few times and snap out of the trance he put you in.

a warm smile was thrown his way and his gaze trails down your body, taking every inch of you in before he looks to the camera. It's amusing how he quirked his brow when his eyes met yours again.

you didn't blame him. you had never done this before, never had the courage to do this. but once again, it needed to be known that you were an actual person, that there was someone behind the camera that got eren's attention when it was off.

he doesn't speak and doesn't even try to, he just lets his eyes tell you all about it so subtly. you were interrupting his stream but he couldn't let the people watching know that.

your finger points to the camera while your other hand trails from the curve of your breasts to the soft skin of your stomach, passing the hem of your underwear and rubbing at the fabric, a silent message to eren that you hope he'd understand.

eren's hand slows in his strokes and his tongue smoothed over his bottom lip, eyes meeting yours again. a raise of his eyebrow asks you if you were sure. you've never joined one of his streams before; this is a first and he wanted you to be certain.

miathesl4t: what is he doing

mochibts: ??? the show must go on

you nod your head and step one foot forward, pausing for a moment until eren scoots back on the bed. he lets go of himself and watches you saunter over until you stop between his legs.

you're aware that hundreds of eyes were on you now. they're probably studying the curve and dimples of your back, the cotton fabric of your underwear, and the soft skin that only eren got to feel under his hands.

the light highlighted every dip of your body and every inch of you while the camera stared at you so dauntingly. it made your body tense. you want to shy away, but this was a decision that you made. you get as close to eren as possible, wanting to feel his skin up against yours to feel that comfort that he brought to you, help you ease up.

yasminab: wait who's that

mayle.e: omg um???

your leg swings over one side of him, then the other, straddling his lap. warm hands settle on your hips while his cock sat taut against his stomach between you both.

"what's up?" he murmurs, only low enough for you to hear.

your hands come up to cup his jaw, tan skin hot in your grasp. he turns his head to press his lips to your hand,softening up at the feel of you. he almost completely forgets he's recording because that's the effect you alone have on him.

his reputation precedes him— someone who has never met him before, who only knows him from his streams, his filthy videos, and pictures would say something completely different about him than you would.

you, however, knew how tender he could be, how loving he could be. you also knew what he put up for the camera wasn't completely a sham because well... you've experienced it first hand, and you reckoned if you asked kindly you could experience it again.

"want you to fuck me." your nearly whispering to him as you spoke.

"on camera?" he's not taken aback, he knew that you knew what you were getting into the second you stepped foot in front of the camera. if you wanted to back out now he wouldn't mind. he'd never force you to do something you didn't want— even if it would disappoint the watchers, even if it would disturb his live.

"on camera." you roll your hips forward, his hands on either side of you tightening as he hums. pink lips press against your shoulder before he rests his head on it, verdigris eyes meeting the camera again with a small smirk.

"we have a guest guys." his voice is sing-song, eren failing to hide his excitement because he was excited. excited to show you off, excited for his followers to see you in all your glory, to see what was his like you wanted them to, to see who fucked you dumb every chance he got.

erenwhore21: i did not sign up for this

you turn your head to the side so your profile is showing, fluttering your eyes at the camera as if you were a natural-born star that was made for it, and you give a shy smile as you lean forward into eren. his body on yours was a haven. "hi."

erenwhore21: but i am not complaining

lillilyx: HE GOT A GF omg

erenwhore21: he didn't say that

"she wants me to fuck her on camera." eren's hand comes up to turn your head towards him, pulling you closer by your jaw and pressing a kiss to your bottom lip while his other hand moves down to squeeze at your ass— an abrupt slap making you yelp. "isn't that nasty?"

your eyes roll at the irony of his words— as if not moments ago he was getting off for the eyes of strangers.

"so what do you want, baby? tell them what you told me."

your hands slip over his shoulders and your arms dangle behind them. you lean forward to peck eren's lips as his hand slides underneath your underwear to grip the flesh of your cheeks. "i said, i want you to fuck me."

he reciprocates your kiss and his lips upturn as he does, happy with your compliance. your arousal pools in your stomach, not only because you're about to give yourself to eren, but because you're going to let him have you on camera for everyone to see.

"you hear that?" he's not talking to you although his eyes are on you. he's searching for a sign of hesitation in them, a sign that you don't want to do this anymore, but you're too giddy. so when he finds none he pats your side, "turn around."

and with that same lack of hesitation, you listen, pulling your legs from over him and turning to face the camera.

the light felt brighter than it was when it could only see your backside, the camera felt farther than it was before you were facing it, and you press back on eren as much as possible. your eyes dart around his set up while you get comfortable in his lap, sitting pretty— a doll on display. "this is my girlfriend, she wants me to slut her out for you guys."

lillilyx: eren shes HOT

yasminab: thought he was single :((

b3li3v3: bI pANIC BC WHEW

eren's hands travel to your breasts, kneading both of them while pressing soft, wet kisses to your neck. you can't help but squirm in his lap— you wanted to feel something down below, you were already ready for him from the moment you stepped foot in front of the camera.

"she wants to show you guys how i fuck her when no one is around. she's dirty; my little whore, right?" the way his voice vibrates through your body from where he speaks against your neck sends a shiver through it, your back unintentionally arching and your hips trying to gain friction from your position on top of him.

one of his hands drops from your chest to your clit, giving it a few taps over top of your underwear. "right?" and only then did you realize he was speaking to you.

your eyes were focused on the camera, the thought of what was to come racking your nerves delightfully. "right... yours, no one else."

he nods his head, rewarding you by slipping his hand down past your underwear. your lips part in surprise as his warm fingers brush against your clit before dipping down further to your folds. "then show them."

eren draws a small whine from you and your hands scramble to tug at your panties, begging eren to take them off without opening your mouth. and he listens, helping you pull them off with his other hand while you lift your hips.

he slips them down far enough so that you're able to get them down your legs and let them fall to your feet. sliding out of them you open your legs further while his hand covers your cunt as if he was hiding it from his— your audience.

"you guys wanna see?" he taunts, and your head falls back onto his shoulder. you ached for him to really touch you, to really make you feel good. the camera moves into your subconscious and it almost feels like every other time when it's just you and eren.

his palm cups your heat while his fingers dance across your slit, and you find yourself trying to grind against him, trying to get more from him.

"she's so wet... don't even think i need to prep her," and as if he was testing his theory, his two fingers plunge into you making you moan at the feeling. his fingers always stretched you open so nicely, even if it was in the slightest bit.

your pleasure was short-lived. as fast as he buries his digits into you he pulls them out, and your eyebrows furrow in discontent, muscles in your leg tensing beside eren.

"eren," you whine his name, chest jutting out— god was he such a tease, you could hear him chuckle from over your shoulder before bringing his fingers up to his lips to taste you.

he made a noise of satisfaction, another small peck to your shoulder, reassuring you you'd get what you wanted. his hands come down to massage the skin of your stomach as he looked up to the camera. "i should just fuck her, yeah?"

lillilyx: YES

mira928: please do

it was funny— it didn't matter what the chat said; eren wouldn't be able to read the comments from the distance away he was from his set up. it was his decision to make. it was always his decision to make.

you found yourself nodding your head, jaw brushing against the side of eren's with every up and down motion before he pats your side, signaling you to stand.

"all fours," and you stand, the camera getting a clear view of your backside while you crawl onto the bed. eren stands up as well, positioning himself behind you, as his hand follows the curve of your spine before giving your ass a firm spank that made you wince from below him.

his eyes flit to the camera for a minute, and you reckon he was trying to make sure you were centered enough for them to see you well before his hand presses down on your back making you rest on your forearms.

his dick slides against your folds and you shudder with anticipation, letting your head rest against the sheet and pushing back on eren as he teases you.

it was teasing for him too. as much as he wanted to fuck you he had to take his time, let his viewers indulge in everything, let the camera pick up everything from the sounds of your slick coating his cock to the soft impatient whimpers that would fall from your lips.

"ready?" you can't tell if he's talking to you or the camera, but you nod your head faster than expected anyway, pressing back on him before he adjusts your hips. "gonna fuck you so good."

your mouth can't help but drop open when eren's tip meets your cunt and your breathing stutters as he slides into you. although you were slightly aware so many faces could see you, this time felt no different from the rest.

he grips your hips and sheathes himself fully inside of you, a low groan emitting from his throat as he bottoms out completely.

you feel so tight, so good, better than you usually do— and eren isn't sure if it's a trick of the camera or not. either way, he indulges in the feeling of you sucking him in, slicked up and ready for his cock.

you bury your head into the sheets to smother your moan, the way every inch of eren settles inside of you making your body quiver and your eyes roll.

eren doesn't seem to like this, his hand reaching forward to grab a handful of your hair and exposing your face again. he angles his grip facing you towards the camera, the red light winking at you, taunting you; almost like it was telling you to smile.

"look up, they can't see your face."

this is what you wanted. if you were gonna disrupt his stream the least you could do was listen to him. so you stable yourself on your elbows and keep your head up. his hand falls from your hair and onto your shoulder to keep himself steady as he begins to move.

the way he moves his hips back and forth 'til they're flush with your ass is enough to make you shudder. you can feel every movement of him sliding in and out of you through your whole body— and it feels better than ever. you're sure the attention on you has something to do with it.

"god, eren,"

eren speeds up his pace and the smack of his hips can be heard throughout the whole room alongside the sound of your juices getting pushed around every time he fucked into you. it was lewd— disgusting, but what was even nastier was the comments.

they were enjoying this, much to eren's satisfaction and possibly yours too.

jjjohn21: fuck she's hot

cumslxt0: turn her more to the camera ;p

itachiwife: need to see more tits!!!

guest37657: i wanna fuck someone like this

"god," as if eren could read what they were saying he adjusts your body by pulling you up by your neck, hands warm around your throat while your back presses up against his chest. he's radiating heat, it makes you even more warm and gushy than before, and a small whimper leaves your mouth. "you like this?"

another whimper and your eyes slide sideways so you can see the camera in your peripheral, the image of it jumping every time eren slammed into you.

"yes, yes, yeah," you gasp, your words choked.

"you like everyone watching you?"

your eyes flutter for a few seconds, mouth open to speak but only small croaks slip from your lips.

you did like everyone watching you. you liked them seeing how eren fucked you; how his cock slid in and out of you swiftly. deep strokes that made you dazed, unable to utter anything but quick confirmations to his words, and even then— barely that.

if it wasn't for the pleasure that swallowed you whole you would've felt embarrassed, would've been trying to sink into eren because of the eyes on you, because of the way you stupidly stumbled when trying to be coherent. and it was all at the hands of eren.

you didn't feel embarrassed, you felt hedonistic. felt devoted to this way of pleasure, like this was the only way you'd ever feel so euphoric— on top of the world. you could do this a million times over.

the vulgar comments no longer bothered you because you were sure they were about you. you were sure people's free hands were typing away trying to appraise how hot you looked. from your chest moved with each forceful thrust, to your ass clapping every time eren reached your cervix, small uncomfortable cries tumbling from your mouth that were a blend of pain and pleasure.

you'd try to speak again. "shit—" maybe hearing your sultry voice would help the image of you that they all had burned into their heads by now. "eren,"

maybe it would help the mirage they'd form at night from here on out. it'd be them fucking you, running their hands over your soft curves and helping you bounce over the top of them while you whispered obscenities in their ears. "hah,"

you could see why eren liked the camera so much now.

despite your hokum, you felt like a star, and you played the role so well. eren must've been long forgotten the minute you stepped foot into his spotlight.

but he couldn't have that either.

first and foremost, the only reason they were able to see you in this state was because of him. he's the one who fucked you so stupid, so dumb that you couldn't speak. you were his and as if he knew what you were thinking he'd let it be known.

"you can't speak baby?" he hums condescendingly ashis fingers crawl up from your neck, the tips prodding at your lips, slipping into your mouth to make sure of it.

your tongue lolls out so gracefully, the sloppy surface of it wetting eren's fingers and making him push up in your mouth so he could get a better grip. "fucked you so dumb?"

you nod your head, his fingertips grazing the back of your throat and eren's chuckle turns into a guttural sound when you clench around him at his words. "shit— you like that? like showing everyone how well i can fuck you?"

another nod, another whimper.

"and i'm the only one who can fuck you like this, yeah?" he slows his strokes and when he's buried inside you his hips grind against yours as if he's trying to get as deep as possible. trying to reach your stomach— hell, you can feel him in your stomach.

your yes is so mumbly, but eren can understand it all too well— you're not sure about his viewers though. "that's my girl." he lets his fingers fall from your mouth, a string of saliva connecting his index to the tip of your tongue. your spittle is smeared onto your nipple by him before he lets go of you completely, letting your body fall to the bed with a plop.

you don't even realize how you're circling your hips against his until eren pulls out of you, falling onto his knees and shuffling to the edge of the bed to pull you into his lap. you're straddling him, cunt searching for his dick— fluttering at the empty feeling.

eren couldn't have taken any longer to position you, you wanted to be full again. "let's show them how your slutty pussy takes my cum too."

lillilyx: they r so hot im crying

nbhdluvr: bestie THIS is so hot

laur7n: (s)CREAMING /s

eren's dick is coated in your slick and it glistens as light reflects off of it. eren's thankful for his setup, it makes the sheen of sweat coating the both of you look like an intended glow, accentuating your best parts and making you camera ready.

he pumps himself a few times before lining himself up and pushing into you again with a sound that's near titillating.

your moan is so breathy as you accommodate his length so easily. eren hisses at the feeling of your squishy walls squeezing him again. it's like he's fucked you so many times that you're molded to him, a perfect fit for him— cinderella's glass slipper.

"oh god— eren," you're becoming spent, leaning almost all your weight against eren, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and burying your face into the crevice of his neck.

you mouth at his skin, hot open-mouthed kisses being planted on the tan of his neck, and he reciprocates the gesture by smoothing his thumb over your ear, holding you by your nape as he leans back.

he presses a small subtle kiss to the side of your head that may have gone unnoticed by the camera but not by him and you squeeze your eyes shut relaxing against him.

"fuck me." you mutter. it's so quiet that you're not sure if eren begins moving because of you or because he would've anyway.

eren's movements are steady, bucking up into you so you don't have to do much work— only taking him and taking him so well. he's proud of your performance and he's a little sad the two of you were already in the last act of it.

he speeds up a bit when you tense up, back arching and you putting in a little work as your orgasm creeps up on you. your head lifts from eren's neck slightly and you begin to let out small pants of breath. "eren..."

"yeah?" his voice is shaky and his pace begins to falter. he's just as close as you are.

"almost there," now your meeting eren's thrusts, slamming down onto him as he bucks up into you. your hand finds its way to your clit, rubbing small circles into it to the best of your ability, squeezing around eren and your mouth dropping open to let out larger pants, let out moans. "'m almost there, 'mma cum,"

"me too, me too." stray brown strands stick to the sweat coating eren's forehead. his hand on your nape falls down to the small of your back pushing you as close to him as possible. there's a furrow in his brow as he stares straight at the camera. the heat bubbles in his stomach, that familiar build-up, and it doesn't matter that he's looking at the camera— he can barely see it, eyes half-lidded and his mind blanking as all he's focused on is you and him. his high and yours.

"come," your tone pleading, you wanna be filled to the brim with his cum. want it to leak out of you for everyone and have him push as much in because you can't waste a single drop! you want eren to claim you on camera for your last act and your body shivers at the thought. "please!"

eren groans at your voice, the tremble of it is almost enough to send him over the edge. he leans back even further so you're more on display and his breathing gets heavier. "shit— want me to.. to cum inside you? fill you up?"

"yes, eren, please!"

his body tingles, that same pleasurable sensation spreads. "breed that pretty pussy, like the little slut you are, yeah?"

"yes!" you're practically sobbing for him, sobbing for it.

"fuck, baby take my cum..." and eren shoots inside of you, warmth filling you up. you cream all over him at the same time, your cunt clenching him so tightly. an unintelligible cry of his name escapes your lips. you sound so consumed, so weary, and eren loves it.

he tenses up underneath you, eyes rolling to the back of his head as he fills you up like you wanted, like he wanted.

yasminab: omg

guest11923: ughhh sexy

it was no doubt you belonged to him now.

your body still twitches, and eren has yet to pull out. the two of you are calming down, it's only your heavy breathing that fills the room.

after a moment eren finally speaks, tapping your side. "come on, get up." and as much as you didn't want to you do, lifting yourself up slightly on weak knees— eren's cum following his cock out of you and dripping onto his leg. he sighs at the sight and you sigh at the feel. what a finishing touch to your performance.

your skin gets prickly and cool albeit the warmth of the room, and you're hyper aware that the camera's on you once more. the exterior you built up begins to fade, and as if eren can read your mind he stands up to shut it off and end the live as he usually does.

you relax, watching as he turns off some of the extra lights, and heads to the bathroom, coming back to clean you and him up before sinking into the bed with you wrapped in his arms.

you're tired, your eyes are droopy, and you know eren's holding off the few more things he needs to do to cuddle with you, to lull you to sleep.

he's peppering kisses along your cheek, massaging the fat of your stomach, and holding you so close to him. "you did so good," is what he mumbles between every kiss.

the softness in his voice is what makes you feel tender, feel loved.

your envy was absurd. it's the way he gently kisses your skin that makes you realize that on or off camera eren belonged to you. you didn't need to show out for his viewers (not that you regret it), or prove anything to them. sitting behind a camera was fine as long as it was you who had eren in his entirety at the end of the day.

even after your realization, you're not so sure if this would be the last time you'd step foot in front of a camera, with or without eren.

[cr0wbonezz-wr1ting-inc]

One more time

Summary: Alex regrets ever saying yes. All he wants is a second chance.

Trigger warning: Mentions of cheating, mentions of sex, swearing, angst

Author's note: my first piece off hiatus !! - you're a twitch streamer in this fic but it won't come up too much :) hope u like it <3

Based on: Break My Heart Again - FINNEAS

you sigh. your ex-boyfriend called again. you've been ignoring your phone for 5 minutes now. was he really this desperate?

you pick up your phone and slide the green button.

"what do you want, alex?"

"___, you picked up!"

he sounded extremely relieved, like he needs you to breathe.

"i did, now what do you want?"

alex sighed and leaned on a wall in his bedroom.

"can i come over? there's some stuff i still need to pick up."

you suck in a breath sharply. the air is thick and tense.

"no."

you clench the phone you were holding and bit your lip.

"i don't want to see you right now."

alex closed his eyes and pushed himself off the wall.

"i understand, you need time."

there was silence for a moment. neither of you wanted to say anything.

"if you want to come over that bad you can get your things tomorrow morning."

"sounds good. i'll be there around 11, okay?"

"fine."

"good-"

you ended the call.

"-bye..."

alex let his arm drop beside him. his eyes were watering, but he wiped it away with the sleeve of his hoodie.

it's his fault, he knew. but why is he still so upset? he shouldn't feel like this - it's is his own doing, after all.

~

you open the door to your home. alex was standing on the porch with a few empty bags in hand. the morning sun blinded you slightly, making you squint at the man in front of you.

"hi ___."

"hello, alex. all your belongings are on the couch.

"great, thank you."

~

he looks over as he's folding a shirt.

"what are you looking at?"

you say without looking away from your laptop.

his face was getting red slightly from embarrassment.

"nothing, you seem busy."

alex directed his eyes back to the clothes in front of him.

"otherwise you would've said something about me."

alex snickered slightly, trying to lighten the mood.

you sigh, holding your face in one of your hands.

don't say it. ___, keep it in. there's no point in fighting him. ___-

"if i wanted to make a comment it'd be about the fact you can't keep your dick in your pants."

god damn it, why did you do that?

he fell quiet. you hated his guts, but even you felt kind of bad for being so blunt with it.

a part of you still loved him. his loud, yet charming laugh. his sweet kisses. his adorable clinginess. his blushing face when you teased him.

you shake your head, trying to physically get rid of your pity for him. he doesn't love you anymore. he shouldn't, and neither should you.

~

after filling the bags with alex's belongings he stood up and wiped his forehead. you waver from your work and look him up and down.

"you done?"

you asked him. he turned around and gave you a weak smile.

"yeah, i think so."

"good, you know the way out."

you turn back to your computer.

"___, wait. can i ask you something?"

you make eye contact with him, fully aware it makes him nervous.

"what do you want?"

alex took a quick breath.

"can we talk sometime?"

you look at him like he spoke an alien tongue.

"why the hell would i?"

"i want to talk about what happened between us. i hate that our relationship is so sour."

he set a step forward.

"i just want this to end peaceful - or at least neutral."

"why the fuck would i want to be peaceful with you of all people?"

"i hate ending things on the wrong foot, you know that."

alex stands his ground, making you livid.

"then we make up, and then what? you'll just break my heart again!"

you stand up, simultaneously pushing the chair away with your legs.

"then i can lay awake and think about why i even let you inside my house again in the first place?!"

if looks could kill, alex would be on the floor.

"fine. if you don't want to, then i guess everything will just stay the way it is."

alex turned around and grabbed his bags. there's no way he's getting through to you right now.

"oh, so now it's my fault?"

you slam your laptop and walk away from the table.

"well, i'm so sorry for being angry at you for cheating on me!"

you don't hold your anger in anymore, he crossed the line.

"i never said that, ___!"

alex yelled to match your energy.

you took a step back. the audacity to yell at you in your house.

"out. now."

alex grabbed the second bag of clothes and without a word walked to the front door.

"goodbye, ___."

alex pushes the door open and steps outside. you go after him but stop at the doorstep.

"fuck you!" you sob out. you grab the doorknob and slam the door shut.

your knees slowly got weaker and you sit against the front door, shutting your eyes.

~

it's been a month since you've seen alex. you've blocked him on everything since then.

you were doing a q&a on your twitch channel and everything was going well. chat was filled with questions and you answered the one's you could.

your thoughts were somewhere else, though.

you still miss him, you really did. alex used to watch your streams all the time. he sent you donations with cheesy pick-up lines, he called you during streams to make fun of you for dying in a game or just to chat while he's bored.

but that didn't happen anymore.

you realize you haven't said anything in a while and you apologize. your chat was spamming purple hearts and 'are you okay?'

"ah, sorry everyone, i'm still tired from yesterday. i think i'm going to end the stream for today, thank you all for coming!"

after saying goodbye you turn off your computer.

why are you still so obsessed over him?! he cheated on you! he even tried to cover it up with a bullshit story about "not being the first to kiss her," and "she forced me to," like someone would believe a lie like that.

yet, you still love him. something inside you wants to believe him, like he really was telling the truth.

~

the next morning you open twitter and scroll for a bit. you made a tweet earlier in which you stated you weren't going to stream today.

you looked at the trending topics and saw your name in bold letters. you clicked on it and read the first tweet that popped up.

'i really hope ___ is doing better, they looked so sad on stream :('

an image was attached to it - a screenshot from the stream you did yesterday where you were mindlessly staring at your computer screen.

you sighed. at least they're not thinking too deep about this.

you scroll further down, replying and liking a couple tweets saying you were alright, thanking them or cracking a joke. this should keep them off your back for a while.

after scrolling for a bit one tweet catches your eye. you clutch your phone as you read the comment.

'kinda obvious they miss quackity :/ it's a good cover-up story tho '

~

alex was staring at his ceiling. he'd seen the tweets about you - about him.

he hates this feeling. he hates the fact that he knows what you're thinking. he hates that he knows it's his fault. he didn't mean to. he didn't.

"come on, alex. you know you want it." the woman said.

"i told you, no! i have a partner!" alex pushed her away for the second time, trying to find a way past the girl and out of this small alleyway. he should've never gone to this stupid bar.

"tch, whatever. but know you'll regret rejecting someone like me!" the girl pushed him to the brick wall and fixed her dress as she walked away.

alex fixed himself for a minute and walked past the bar and into his car. he pulled out his phone and shot you a quick text.

'hey bb i'll be over in a few :)'

'don't come back.'

you responded almost immediately. alex froze as he looked at the screen.

'wdym?'

'you know damn well why'

you sent him a photo of him next to the bar in the alley. the girl was all over him while her lips connected lustfully to his.

'it isn't what it looks like, i didn't start any of this!'

you don't respond. alex tries to send you another text when an error pops up.

'unable to send message. user has blocked you.'

~

you hover your hand over your phone's keyboard. you thought anbout alex's offer to talk, and decided that maybe it was a good idea after all. you couldn't get your mind off him, you thought that hopefully getting some closure could help.

but how were you going to ask him? 'hey, i know i blocked number like a month ago but can you to meet me at some random park? see you there!'

after typing and deleting multiple texts you eventually landed on a message.

'hey alex, i've been thinking about your offer to talk it out, and i wanted to ask if you're still up for it?'

you send it and immediately turn off your phone and place it on the coffeetable in front of you. you did it, finally. you fall back on your couch and pull your knees up to your face, waiting for a notification.

after a nailbiting five minutes a light emits from your phone. you pick it up and read the name calling you. 'alex'. you take a deep breath and answer the phone.

"hi alex."

"hey ___, it's been a while."

you sit up straight, preparing yourself for the conversation you're about to have.

'yeah, you can say that."

the atmosphere was a lot less tense than you expected. it was weirdly... comforting? you can hear alex's raspy voice through the phone. has he been crying?

"i saw your text, you wanted to meet?"

"yes, i did. i wanted to get some closure, at least."

alex chuckled, his laugh making you a little flustered. trying to brush it off, you laugh with him.

"what's so funny?" alex asked.

you rolled your eyes and smile.

"you, dumbass."

he gasps cartoonishly loud. his goofy personality is something you could never get enough of. maybe you were wrong after all.

"ok, but seriously, when do you want to meet?"

he gets back on topic. you snap out of your smile and remember why he called in the first place.

"right, right. i'm free this whole week, you can choose when."

after some planning and back and forth, you decide to meet at a small family-run café in the afternoon. coincidentally, it's the same place you two had your first date.

~

you settle down at a table on the terrace of the café, the sunday sun greeting you warmly. you were a little early, so you decided to think of some questions. it didn't take you long to come to a few, though. your main question was the photo. what was that all about?

as you were handed a menu you saw alex walking on the pavement fidgeting with his fingers.

"hey! sorry if i'm late, i took the bus instead of my car."

he took the seat parallel to yours and exhaled.

"oh no, you're right on time. i was just a little early."

the waitress gave alex a menu and disappeared into the establishment. you both decided to stay quiet before getting on topic. neither of you want to start the conversation.

after both ordering and having surface level conversation for a while silence fell. you both know why you're here, it feels off to talk like nothing ever happened.

"okay-"

"so-"

you both start at the same time. alex awkwardly chuckles while covering his mouth.

"you first."

alex proposes. you nod and like magic lose the somewhat content mood you had prior. you steadily breathe in and pull out your phone.

"so, first things first; my main goal is to get closure and an explanation - there's no point in lying to me."

alex hums in agreement. you could tell he was nervous, you knew him better than anyone. you tap on your screen a few times until you reach the photo that was sent to you.

"now, i want a clear answer. what happened that night?"

you ask him firmly as you put your phone on the table to reveal the image.

"that's my ex-girlfriend."

alex said. you raise an eyebrow - his ex? you've heard some wild things about her and her antics, which is exactly why alex broke up with her in the first place.

"she said she wanted to ask me something in private. my dumbass said yes, because i can't pick up on context clues, apparently."

you cross your arms and lean back on the chair.

"you got that right."

alex looks up from the photo and makes eye contact with you.

"long story short, she pushed me to the wall and kissed me. i tried to push her off but she didn't let me go. after shoving her, like, twice she finally got the hint and left."

~

"so she set you up?"

"she hasn't changed a bit since all those years."

you say with a hint of condescension. his explanation made sense, and from what you heard he wasn't lying. your gut told you to believe him, yet your mind had an itching feeling that there was something else.

"are you sure that's all?"

alex flinched slightly.

"y-yes, ___. i don't know what else to tell you."

you mess with your hair a bit, clearly conflicted. there was nothing else, you knew that. but your brain wouldn't let it go. you decided it's better if you just sleep on it.

"alright, then.-"

you grab your bag and stand up.

"-i think we're done here."

alex stays seated and looks up at you.

"yeah, i think so."

you pick the phone up that's laying on the table. you pull out your wallet and put a $5 bill under your teacup.

"goodbye, alex."

"wait!"

alex stands up and grabs your wrist, the gesture scaring you little bit.

"are you still mad at me?"

those eyes. they're so pretty, almost sparlking. you snap out of it when he lets go, just realizing how weird it is to grab someone's arm out of nowhere.

"sorry, my bad. i wasn't thinking."

alex scratches the back of his neck.

"i'm still deciding if i can trust you, but i appreciate you showing up, at least."

"that's enough for me."

alex smile at you, not trying to pry.

"goodbye, ___."

"goodbye, alex."

~

you heard the chirping of the birds outside your window and groan. why is it already morning? you sit up and grab your phone from the nightstand next to your bed, the phone reading 11:23 - tuesday - xx-xx-xxxx.

you sigh and fall back onto your bed. you've been thinking about alex for a few days now, still not getting him out of your head.

after going downstairs and eating some toast you pull out your phone again, the clock now reading 12:44. you look through your contacts and eventually land on his name.

you hover your hand over the green pixels while sitting down at the dining table. you swallow audibly and click the call button.

it goes once.

it goes twice.

"___?"

'Hey alex, i wanted to ask you if you wanted to meet up again?"

ty for reading <3

m.list

taglist: @adoring-ghost @sakisaralazy @for-memories-sacrifice @ialexabsuniverse @shiyanchan @bioluminescentfrog @esylwen

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[bruhstories]

Fate

Summary: The Abduction of Persephone or how Levi couldn’t get you of his head.

Pairing: Hades!Levi x Persephone!Reader

Warnings & Content: nsfw, mentions of rape & incest (cause, you know, Zeus is a fucking entitled asshole and nobody fucking likes him), unprotected sex, oral sex (male receiving), fingering, language, loss of virginity

Word Count: 5.1 k

A/N: literally the only thing I have to say is that for the purpose of this fic, Hanji has she/her pronouns, and the first few paragraphs are written in third person xD happy reading!

Help me...

Please...

Help... me...

Sweat drips from his forehead and his eyes shoot open. That damned dream again. That sweet voice again. Levi Hades can't comprehend why he was dreaming. Gods don'tdream. His bed seems empty, but he never needed anyone in it. For some reason, now he feels like someone is missing. He gets up, naked body and blank eyes watching over his realm from the balcony of his castle. Empty. Other than the souls of the dead that quietly dance around like little flames, it's empty. Other than Cerberus sleeping peacefully, it's empty. And so damn cold. Mortals mistaken the Underworld for a scorching hot place, but in reality, it's as cold as Levi Hades' heart. If he even has a heart.

He wraps his toga around his sculpted body, a wreath of laurels on his coal-black hair, donning his arms with silver bracelets and rings. Time doesn't exist in the world of the dead, but Levi Hades sticks to a strict schedule. He waves his hand and a scroll and quill magically appear on his marble desk. He can't trust Hermes with this message, and so he gives it to one of his dogs to deliver it to Hanji Hecate. Who better to interpret the meaning of his dream than the goddess of witchcraft herself? LeviHades surrounds himself in thick, grey smoke before he disappears from his bedroom.

Somewhere on Earth, Y/N Persephone is being watched by Zeus. The powerful god cannot resist such a beauty, and he is known for having his way with anyone, even his own daughter. But it's not her time, he thinks, not just yet. She knows this, she knows what will happen to her when she reaches the age of marriage, and at night, when not a soul is awake, she sobs and prays that someone will find her and help her. She is willing to do anything to escape her father's clutches and her dark future. And every night she cries, it rains — it pours.

At the outskirts of the Underworld, Hanji Hecate receives a message. She reads it carefully, and a knot forms in her stomach. The goddess heard the pleas of a girl, whom she believed to be a mortal, but if Levi Hades heard her, too, then it could only be another deity. HanjiHecate closes her eyes and performs a spell in the hopes of locating the desperate girl. It doesn't work. It doesn't work because, unbeknownst to her, Demeter is hiding her daughter from the preying eyes of Zeus.

They searched for weeks, mortal weeks, for the crying goddess, but none of them had any luck. Y/N Persephone is somewhere in the shadows of Demeter, but even she knows her mother can't protect her forever. Zeus gets what Zeus wants eventually. The sun rises over the meadow, but Y/N Persephone doesn't know that because she's stuck weaving in a cave, sweat dripping down her forehead, hairs sticking to her face. The drakons Demeter placed at the entrance of the cave followed Y/N Persephone outside, guarding her as she washes herself in a nearby stream. He isn't supposed to be there. Levi Hades isn't supposed to peer at her naked body and the way she splashes the crystal-clear water. He was supposed to meet with Hanji Hecate and take a walk. He was supposed to go back to the Underworld after that. Yet here he is, spellbound by her gestures, her face, her eyes. And then, she sings. Y/N Persephone begins to sing and all the flowers around him bloom. Levi Hades goes into a shocked state, eyes wide open, brows raised. He knows that voice. He knows it because he's been dreaming it. His scent is picked up by the drakons and he disappears, leaving behind a trail of smoke.

"I found her, Hecate. I found her, but I can't get close to her."

"What do you mean you found her? Just like that?" Hanji Hecate's fingers trace the bark of a tree.

"It was fate. It must be." Levi Hades is desperate now.

"Calm down, Hades. I've never seen you so... twitchy." She laughs, kneeling in the grass. The witch plays with some fallen leaves, brown hair flowing in the wind.

"That's because you didn't see what I did. She started singing and flowers bloomed! I don't know what kind of nymph she is, but she is beautiful. Nothing like I've ever seen before."

"Oh, I never thought I'd live to see the day Hades falls in love." Hanji Hecate laughs again. "So why didn't you approach her?"

"Tch, because she was surrounded by drakons. I don't understand why a mere nymph would need so much protection."

The goddess gasps, all traces of happiness gone from her face, replaced by disappointment and anxiety. Levi Hades takes notice of this and places his cold hand on the witch's shoulder, but she flinches.

"You can't have her."

"You knowher?" His voice is condescending, offended that his good friend hid something like this from him.

"Hades, she's Demeter's daughter, Persephone. She's not just some nymph, but the goddess of spring." Hanji Hecate brings her palms together, forming a triangle. "We can't talk here."

Levi Hades nods and lets himself transported to the Underworld, back to the familiar souls lingering in the air.

"Talk, Hecate." He is impatient and demanding, arms folded across his chest.

"Zeus wants her, and Demeter and I are keeping her hidden." The deity explains with pain in her voice.

"Yes, well, you're not doing a very good job, now, are you?"

"Oi, the drakons noticed you. You don't think they would notice Zeus?" She snaps back, traces of arrogance in her voice.

"Hecate... it's Zeus. What would stop that brat from turning into a drakon fool her?"

The goddess shivers, shifting her weight from side to side.

"Do you have a better idea?"

"I do, actually. I'll bring Persephone here." LeviHades proudly states, but his face is still blank, not once betraying his true feelings.

"You'll... what?" Her mouth is slightly open, bewildered by the god.

"It's the only place Zeus doesn't have access without an invitation. Face it, Hecate, it's a good plan. Better than yours, anyway."

Hanji Hecate is speechless, completely at a loss for words. She ponders over the idea, a hand brought to her chin to think better.

"Alright, but what makes you think she'll just stroll through the gates of the Underworld without a complaint?"

"Oh, you've mistaken my words. I'll forcefully bring her here." He tilts his head, a semblance of a smirk on his lips.

"For fuck's sake, Hades, she's not what you'd expect. And what about me? I promised Demeter I would protect her!" HanjiHecate throws her hands in the air, her shadow taking the form of a raging dog.

"Do notchallenge me, witch. You know I can destroy you in the blink of an eye." LeviHades growls and her shadow restores itself to its natural shape. "Besides, you would still protect her. The Underworld is where you abide."

She knows she shouldn't carelessly be out in the open one hour before her coming of age. But Y/N Persephone, with tears streaming down her beautiful face, embraced her future. She knows Zeus will come for her, and so she willingly gives herself to him. With poppy seeds, she put the drakons to sleep and left the cave, clad in a sheer toga, her body visible through the transparent fabric.

"If you want me, come and get me, father!" Y/N Persephone screams at the skies, the flora surrounding her slowly turning a dark shade of brown and dying, just like her innocence would die tonight. The earth shatters behind her, marigold flames and ashy smoke cracking open the soil. Shadowy figures emerge, grasping the young goddess' limbs and they drag her down, down, down to the Underworld. She is afraid, her heart beats faster as the moonlight disappears, and all she can see is darkness.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be gentler, but I didn't want Zeus to get the wrong idea."

"You're Hades, aren't you?"

"Yes, but please, call me Levi. Persephone, I presume." Levi doesn't smile, but his voice is warm, contrasting the cold that surrounded your body.

"Don't call me that." You spit back, confused as to why you were in his realm in the first place.

"You should be a little more grateful that I saved you, brat." He narrows his eyes down at you.

"Saved me? You abductedme. You're no better than him."

Hanji Hecate was right, you had fire in your soul, and an attitude that would drive Levi over the edge.

"Tch, don't compare me to that pretentious cock." The god scoffs and your expression softens.

"Zeus is a... cock? With a beak and feathers?" You giggle and he almost wants punch himself. How could he forget how innocent you are? Clearly, he's been spending too much time with Minthe.

"That's one way to put it."

"Is there another way?" You ask with your index finger brought to your lips, pure curiosity in your eyes.

"Forget that, you said you didn't want me to call you Persephone. How else should I address you?"

"Y/N." You tell him, eyes peering to the balcony of his castle and you skip to it. "Oh, this place is huge! What are those?" You point at the colourful flames dancing in the air.

"Souls." Levi joins you, resting his arms on the marble railing.

"They're beautiful!" You are in awe, and he is just as mesmerised by your beauty. Not one sane god or goddess would consider the souls of the dead beautiful.

"Look, Y/N, I heard you. In my dreams, I mean. I'm not going to hurt you, I brought you here to rescue you." He lies through his teeth. Levi did want to save you, he still does, but he can't deny the fact that he wanted you all to himself. "I'm gonna mind my own business, you mind yours. Try not to break anything. And don't, under any circumstances, make a mess out of my castle, or my realm."

You lean on the railing, nose scrunched and a hand on your hip.

"What am I supposed to do, then? And what about my mother? What about when spring comes and I have to bring it? What about Zeus?"

Levi grits his teeth, almost regretting his decision of saving you.

"Tch, I'll deal with Demeter. I'll tell Zeus I'm marrying you. You can go bring spring when it's due. Happy?" He pinches the bridge of his nose.

"And you won't taint my innocence?"

Oh, he will taint it, alright. But not just yet.

"I won't do anything you don't want me to do."

"You still didn't answer my first question. What am I supposed to do?" You shift your weight from one leg to the other, impatiently waiting for a proper answer from your captor.

"Anything you want, just don't get in my way when I'm dealing with the dead."

"You're an aggressive little man, you know that?"

Levi can feel a blood vessel bursting on his forehead. You were truly annoying, but he couldn't just sit around and wait for Zeus to have his way with you.

"Anyway, I suppose it is safer to be here." You rolled your eyes. "Got any books?"

"What, you read?" He snorts, a condescending brow arched.

"Don't patronise me. You're the one who abducted me, you could at least try to be nice to me."

Levi sighs. This wasn't how he imagined things would go. He imagined you'd make the perfect housewife and keep him some company.

"First floor. Just stay out of the restricted section."

"Why?"

"Because I said so. Zeus' beard, are you always this irritating?"

"Are you?" You chuckle, a hand hiding your smile.

With another sigh, Levi disappears, leaving you alone. "Great job, Y/N, you made the only person who took a crumb of pity on you to go away." You say to yourself, a pout on your lips.

The Underworld wasn't as bad as you thought. Sure, there was the occasional fire popping from the ground here and there, and you had to be careful not to burn yourself, but overall, it was serene. Some parts of it were scorching hot, but mostly it was cold, and you always brought an extra cloak with you when exploring the realm. Levi wasn't always with you, in fact you haven't seen him in days, but you met his three-headed puppy. Well, puppy wasn't the best word to describe the creature, and it did try to eat you the first time, but you stood your ground and tamed the beast with your singing and eager belly rubs.

"This is a sight I never thought I'd live to see." Levi is shocked, watching his raging dog so calm. "Cerberus never lets anyone but me touch him." He gives the dog a few pats on his back.

"Well, Cerberus likes me better, don't you? Who's a good boy? You are, yes, you are!" You kiss all three muzzles and hug the gigantic beast, the heat of its fuzzy body warming you up.

"Oi, don't get ahead of yourself. Come here, Cerberus." Levi extends his arms and the creature is confused. "I said, come here."

The dog stops wagging its tail and plops next to you with a groan, one head resting in your arms. The shit-eating grin on your face is enough to make Levi sigh.

"See? I told you he likes me better." You poke your tongue out in triumph. You wave your hands and the god watches how you place three daffodil wreaths on each of Cerberus' heads. "Much better!"

"Y/N, he looks silly."

"No, he looks adorable! Here, I made you one, too."

Levi takes the flower crown and inspects it, careful not to crumble the petals.

"What is this?" He asks, marvelling at the beauty of the ice-blue colour of the plant.

"Uh, a flower crown?"

"Yeah, no shit. I meant what flower is this?"

"Oh, it's a blue poppy. One of the rarest plants in the world." You smile. "I think it suits you."

"You're an oddball."

You sit in a lavish chair, all kinds of foods displayed on the table in front of you. Saliva pools in your mouth, but you decide to wait for Levi anyway. It's bad manners to start eating without the host, Demeter taught you that. Gods and goddess don't eat mortal foods, but sometimes they indulge in it, and tonight was one of those nights.

"Here, try this." Levi offers you a strange fruit, something humans have on earth, but different.

"What is it?" You poke your finger at the juicy fruit, sucking the sweetness from your digit.

"It's a pomegranate that only grows in the Underworld."

You pick at the seeds, popping one in your mouth. You couldn't believe something so good could grow in a cold place like this.

"So, what's the occasion?" You ask Levi as you eat three more seeds, the crimson juice staining your lips.

"Our wedding."

You accidentally swallow, choking on saliva and the pomegranate seeds, your fist hammering your chest as you gasp for air.

"What?"

"I told Zeus I'm marrying you and now he wants proof." Levi bluntly states, a chalice of nectar in his hand.

"No."

"You don't have a choice, unfortunately."

"But… I'm supposed to be a virgin. Marriage implies consumption of it." You slam your fists on the table. "My mother-"

"Your mother lied to you. You're a goddess of fertility for fuck's sake." He shrugs and you're shocked by how chilling his voice sounds. Sure, Levi was always brooding and silent, but now he was just inconsiderate. "However, I'm not a man who breaks his promises. I told you I won't do anything you don't want me to."

"Oh, how niceof you. I'm leaving." You stand up, pushing the chair away.

"And go where? Demeter can't protect you forever, and you don't stand a chance against Zeus."

"You know why I hate my name so much, Levi?" You growl, fingernails digging into the wooden table.

"Do, tell."

"Because it means destruction. A fitting name for a goddess of ‘fertility’, don't you think?" The table splits open and all the plates fall to the ground. Your normal, bubbly aura changes suddenly and there's a hint of red in your Y/E/C eyes. "You think I don't stand a chance against Zeus? I'm his offspring." You snap, and instead of flowers falling out of your hair, there's thorns, spikes and rusty leaves all over the place. The uglies, most poisonous plants sprout from the ground and you're no longer the goddess of spring, but the bringer of slaughter, and Levi is impressed. Now he really knows it was faith that brought you together, he knows your place is with him — with the dead.

"Marry me." He says, unmoved by your little show. Unmoved on the outside, because on the inside he wants to bend you over and fuck you silly. His words shouldfuel your rage, but you're too surprised by the fact that he still wants to marry you, despite your outburst.

"Why? Because Zeus wants that?" Vines protrude from your skin and your fingernails turn black. You were completely different than the helpless little girl he rescued that night. You were terrifying. But not to Levi — to him you were fascinating.

"Because I want that."

It was safe to say you had fallen in love with Levi in those nine months since you came to the Underworld. He accepted you the way you were, he accepted your darkness, something not even your mother could do, and that's what triggered your feelings for the god of the dead. You still didn't allow him to call you Persephone, because you still hadn't fully embraced that part of you. Spring was almost due, but you promised Levi you'd go to earth after your wedding. Everyone would be there, including Demeter, which you haven't seen in a long time.

A soft knock interrupts your thoughts.

"Y/N, are you ready?"

"In a second, Hanji!"

"Oh, thank the gods for calling me that. I keep telling everyone I'm tired of Hecate but they don't care." The witch scoffs from the other side of the door.

"Has my mother arrived?" You ask, concern visible in your voice.

"Yes. And she's not happy."

"Hey," you open the door, "thanks for taking the blame and explaining things to her." You hug the goddess and she holds you tight.

"Don't worry about it, kid. It's me who should thank you. I don't know what you did to Levi, but he seems happier. He won't show it because he's a prick, but I can feel it."

You flash Hanji a genuine smile and ask her to fix your veil, to which she gladly accepts before escorting you to the castle grounds. Your mother should do this, but she hated her future groom, or your father, but he was a sick man who only decided to leave you alone because he respected Levi.

Every god and goddess of Olympus is here, even your uncle Poseidon. You emerge from the castle, arm looped around Hanji's and you smirk at Levi's shock. He never thought you could be more beautiful, yet here you are, dressed in silk, flowers on your hand and a thin veil clinging from the peony crown on your head. You catch a glimpse of Demeter before drifting your eyes to your future husband.

"Ladies and gentlemen, gods and goddesses, we have gathered here today to witness and bless the union between Levi, god of the Underworld, and Y/N, goddess of spring." Hanji proudly declares. The ceremony doesn't last too long, and when Levi's lips crush yours in what is your first kiss, thousands upon thousands of plants sprout from the soil, colourful flowers blooming and letting out the sweetest smells known to mankind. Love, he thinks, that's what love smells like.

You're tired from the party, tired from all the talking and mingling, tired from your mother's lecture, and tired from avoiding your father. At least Hera was nice enough to wish you a happy marriage. You pace around your bedroom, sitting on the bed, then standing up again. Levi went to his chamber after the party, but you were expecting, no, you wanted to consume the marriage. You walk to his room, a toga lazily draped over your shoulders, and open the door without a single knock. He's in bed, the only light source being the colourful souls levitating outside his windows. You carefully push the covers and climb into the bed, gently scooching closer to him.

"Psst, husband, are you sleeping?" You poke his shoulder.

"Tch, not anymore." He sighs, not bothering to open his eyes and look at you. "What do you want?"

"Well, I'm glad you asked! Seeing as we're married now, I thought it's only natural for a wife to sleep with her husband." You roll on your side, propping yourself on your elbow. Tentatively, you tug on the fabric of the toga, exposing your shoulders and part of your breasts.

"So sleep." Levi finally lolls his head to the side, facing you. He did not expect to see you sprawled on his bed like that, in a lewd position and a playful smile on your soft lips. "You don't have to do this just because we're married.

"I'm doing it because I want to. And I know you want it, too, Levi." You purr, your fingers grazing over your collarbone.

"It's going to hurt." He warns you, but his hand is already on your thigh.

"I know. But you'll take good care of me, won't you?"

Levi has no idea which one of you is talking — Y/N, goddess of spring, or Y/N, goddess of destruction — and frankly he doesn't even care at this point. As long as he has your approval, he knows he can do whatever he wants. You pull him into a sloppy kiss, obviously inexperienced, but he likes it that way. He likes that you have no idea what you're doing because he can be in control. His hand runs up and down your thigh and you can feel heat building in your core.

"Tingles..." You mumble in his lips with a hazy smile.

"Have you ever touched yourself?" Levi pulls away and you nod. "Show me."

You feel embarrassed and small, but obey nonetheless. Your hand travels between your legs and your fingers touch your already swollen clit, rubbing it in circular motions. Levi watches you with hungry eyes, wanting very hard to abstain, but he can't, and so he takes your nipple in his hot mouth. You whimper at the new sensation, electricity shooting through your body as he snakes a hand between your thighs, two fingers diving into your cunt.

"Ah! L-Levi! So big!" You mewl and he throws his head back, releasing your poor nipple.

"That's nothing compared to what you'll get, you needy brat." He curls his fingers, hitting that sweet spot, and you buck your hips. Despite being a virgin, your body naturally knows what to do. Your spongy walls clench around his digits and Levi can already feel how tight you'll be around his cock. "You're so wet."

"Is t-that a good thing?" You're innocent and pure and you rock your hips back and forth, pathetic moans escaping your lips.

"Fuck, yes." Levi kisses you, and it's nothing like the kiss from your wedding. It's desperate and greedy, and he wants you all to himself. The pace quickens, he's pumping his fingers in and out of you faster and you don't know what to do, so you keep rubbing your clit and the familiar heat of your orgasm flushes through your body. You come undone on his hand, the sinful, squelching sound echoing in the bedroom.

"It didn't hurt at all!" You look at your husband, but there's a hint of mischief in your voice, a playful glisten in your eyes. Levi clicks his tongue, because the worst — and best — is yet to come, and you know it — you're no saint.

"Come here." Levi orders and yanks you by the hair, his aggressive gesture sending a shiver down your spine and into your cunt. "Be a good girl and open that pretty mouth for me."

You obey and part your luscious lips and then you see his cock for the first time — thick and veiny, it slaps your face as it pops out of his undergarments, the tip grazing over your cheeks.

"Levi that's... that's too big." You chew your lower lip and lean back.

"You'll be fine. You said it yourself, I'll take good care of you." He cups your face with one hand, thumb caressing your chin. "Now suck it. Make sure to use lots of spit."

You feel your cheeks hot and test the waters by giving the glistening tip a few licks, tongue swirling around it. It tastes salty, and you find yourself liking this. Levi pats your head, but you feel him tensing with each movement of your tongue.

"Shit." He curses under his breath and when you look up at him with doe eyes, his heart pounds into his chest. You courageously take the tip into your mouth, and with hollowed cheeks, you move further. "Yeah, just like that. Take it all."

Bobbing your head up and down, you try to take it all, but the girth and length is just too much, and tears pool at your eyes from the lack of air, but also from how good it feels to have a fat cock in your mouth. Muffled moans reverberate in your throat, and Levi can feel the vibrations tickling him. He firmly grabs your nape and holds your head in place.

"Trust me and relax, can you do that for me?"

You half-nod, anxious and somewhat excited for what is about to happen. Your husband rocks his hips back and forth slowly before aggressively fucking your poor throat, and you feel the arousal building in your core again. So much for promising your mother you'd always stay a virgin. You want to touch yourself again, but Levi slaps your hand away and thrusts into your mouth, holding your head still until you choke, your fingernails digging into his arm. The god pulls out and you gasp for air, and he almost feels sorry when he sees your pathetic state.

"A-again!" You flash him your pearls in a sultry smile, spit dripping down your chin. Who knew you liked asphyxiation?

"Needy brat."

"Please!"

"Tch, later. Right now, I want to fuck you." Levi growls and he already has you pinned on the bed, arms above your head and legs spread open for him. His cock presses against your slick slit and you brace yourself for the incoming pain. "If you want me to stop, tell me."

You don't have the time to nod when you feel a burning sensation between your legs. Squeezing your eyes shut, you bury the back of your head into the pillow and grip the sheets so tight your knuckles begin to lose their colour. Levi slowly pushes further, another inch buried in your cunt, and you bite on your lower lip. But you don't tell him to stop, instead your spongy walls clench around his cock and another inch gets lost in you.

You never thought gods could feel such immense pain, yet here you are, with a bloody lip from digging your teeth into it and a sore pussy. But the worst thing faded bit by bit when Levi bottomed out into your cunt. The two of you sit still, your husband allowing you to get used to his girth.

"Do you think I bled?" You ask, eyes filled with tears.

"Probably, but I promise it will never hurt like this from now on." He comforts you before licking the blood from your lips. The gesture makes your cunt flutter and Levi takes it as a sign to go on. Slowly, he rocks his hips back and forth, and the molten pain is replaced by tingles and arousal.

"You good?"

"Y-yes, oh, f- yes!"

"You can say fuck, you know?" Levi thrusts once, and it's so deep you feel his cock brush over your cervix.

"Fuck!" You cry out, legs wrapping around his waist to make sure he doesn't pull out. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

"Good girl."

There's no more room for gentle touches and soothing words when your husband fucks you raw. Your hips buck against his to feel that sweet pressure you never knew you longed for. In and out, his cock makes you feel sore and hazy, and you want more. The sound of his balls slapping your ass makes your mouth water and your eyes glossy, and Levi feels selfish. He pulls out, turns you over and takes you from behind, like a rabid dog fucking a bitch in heat. And you are in heat — you love the way his thrusts make you feel dumb, the way his cock stretches you, the way he uses and abuses your tight little cunt. Everything is so new to you and you adore every bit of it.

"Shit, I'm close." Levi warns you, his fingers digging into your hips, and you want to be good for him, so you drag your hand between your thighs and rub your swollen clit in frantic motions.

"L-Leeevi! I think I'm-"

"Fuck!"

When you feel a hot liquid shooting into you, your legs begin to tremble and you come on his cock, head falling onto the pillow with a heavy sigh. He pulls out and you already miss the feeling of being full, your juices mixed with his own dripping down out of you, down your thigh. You curl up next to your husband, hand holding his arm before you drift to sleep.

A sweet smell fills Levi's nostrils and when he looks at your tired body, there’s flowers in your messy hair. He still can't get used to the way your divine, disorganised powers work, but at least now he knows what's been missing from his life, and the corners of his mouth slightly twist upwards into a genuine smile. The god of the dead, in love with and married to the goddess of spring. Order and chaos blending together in one beautiful, perfectly arranged mess.

It’s fate. It must be fate that brought you together — but it’s love that will keep you together.

tagging @starrynightlys @stolemyheart12

[rocksalt-and-pie]

due to popular demand by a certain someone, here's the story about my little hitchhiker from the other party's pov:

I live in an urban area. Buildings, streets, sidewalks, cars, construction sites, you name it. I fly out of the nest, boom, suburbia. I see humans all the time.

Noctule bat is what they call us, or, in this particular place, small evening sailor. Personally, i think that's adorable. To clarify: i have nothing against humans. They're fine. I don't necessarily want one near me and it's not exactly ideal that they, you know, take away our prey and habitat with their lifestyle, but they're alright i guess.

However, encountering an actual live human in very close proximity was something I could have done without.

That night, just like every night since leaving the nest for the first time about three weeks ago, right after watching the big burning orb settle behind the horizon, my siblings and cousins and myself went out to hunt. We are mighty hunters of the night, if I do say so myself. Nobody else can hear a beetle crawl from nine feet away. And that's just our backup plan, in case our sonar fails.

Momma and all the aunts have warned us about the road and the vehicles on there. They also warned us about humans. Apparently, some of them are not very nice. Sometimes, when we were very little, they used to tell us this old urban legend about a human who literally bit off the head of one of our own! Like, who does that?! that's just sick. That's the scariest story I've ever been told during the daytime.

Tonight, I was about to find out how scary they really can be.

I don't know how and why, i must have not paid enough attention to my flight route, something had distracted me, but i flew too close to the road. Out of thin air one of those human vehicles appears, hits me straight in the face, needless to say i get thrown off course (YOU get hit by a ton of steel at high speed, we'll see if YOU immediately find your way back to your headed direction), i don't know where I'm going, it hits me AGAIN, and now the real horror begins.

I don't know where I am. I find a spot to sit. I usually hang upside down and avoid sitting on the ground, but it's okay. I need a break. I need to find out what happened. I need to make a plan. I need to catch my breath.

There's a lot of weird stuff around me. Most of it feels soft, but there's crinkly stuff too, and it makes rustling noises as I'm crawling through it. Speaking of noise: there is a lot of it. I have very sensitive ears and the noise is deafening. I don't like it. For some reason, the urban legend about the bitten off head comes to mind, and i shudder. That's also when I notice the human.

I've never seen one that up close. It's pretty big, bigger than you can imagine, and it too makes a noise, sounding kind of irritated.

I know for a fact that humans can't fly themselves, that's why they created these vehicles that do it for them, and apparently I'm IN one now. With a human. We're flying through the night at high speed, faster than I've ever flown before in my life, faster than anyone i know can fly. I'm holding on for dear life, praying that I'll make it out alive somehow.

Soon, we come to a stop. I keep very still. Lights flash. I'm not a big fan of lights if I gotta be honest here, it's too bright for my nocturnal eyes, and i frown. The human moves. A second later, another light, the brightest fucking light I've ever seen in my entire life is being pointed directly at me, and the human looks me straight in the eye. It screeches. I've heard them making that sound before, especially the little ones, but i'm not sure what it means. The human seems pretty upset though. It startles backwards, makes a few more of those harsh noises and disappears.

A moment later, i feel a stream of fresh air on my back and i turn around because i can smell the night, i can smell freedom. Unfortunately, the human is there too. I don't know how it got there that fast but i think it's reaching for me and i panic because, nuh uh, not today, no way I'm getting my head bitten off, no thanks. The open space between the human and the vehicle is very narrow, and according to my calculations it's a broad move, but I'm very brave, so i decide to make a run for it.

I fly directly at the human's face. I HAVE to. It's the only direction to go. It doesn't seem to like that, it makes that high noise again and frantically moves it's freakishly large long limbs. I miss it by mere inches. It's not like i TRIED to hit it and it certainly would have made it easier if it hadn't moved but I'm pretty proud of myself for managing to avoid it. It's not like WE bite off anyone's- nevermind. We actually do bite off insects' heads fairly often. But none of us would EVER bite off a human's head, not even our far removed cousins that drink other mammals' blood. What I'm saying is, pull yourself together, human, I'm just a small creature of the night trying to escape from your vehicle of hell.

I've made it. I'm free again. My heart's beating like crazy. I'm heading back East (i know where that is because i watched the big burning orb settle earlier, and as legend has it, it's always set in the West as long as we can remember), to the nest, where the rest of my family is gonna hear one hell of a story.

I've survived an encounter with a human. I'm a fucking hero returning from battle.

0/10 experience, do not recommend.

[angeloncewas]

okay but you’re so right about this fandom and the weaponizing their minority status

like, yes poc creators have a hard time and they deal with a lot of shit, but the way to help them is not bringing other creators down. it’s to support poc creators! and support poc creators because they’re good at creating and they make good content!

my least favorite thing people do is go on twitter, and list poc streamers solely by their minority status, it feels like you should only watch a streamer because of the boxes you can tick off for them and that’s so fucked up. i would absolutely hate if I were a cc and someone said “oh watch her she’s a queer woc” like I have nothing else to offer? bro at least talk about my content a little bit?

also not to mention manatreed is definitely going to be either dream, another well known cc, or one of Dream’s very close friends, so it’s not like he randomly picked someone and went “even though you never made any content, you’re a white guy so I’m gonna add you onto the dsmp!” like, can we use our brains? or any critical thinking?

Sorry for this rant btw, but you’re just so right and it always pisses me off how people treat minorities in the first place. i know a lot of people on twitter is doing it with good intentions but it’s weirdly dehumanizing to act like you should only add people to dsmp based on their skin color or something

This was my original point, and I actually have a post in my drafts somewhere about it because it's been on my mind for a while.

I am Asian. Being Asian is inherent to who "Angel" is and while I didn't really accept that for a long time, I am very much in tune with my culture at this point. And yet this hyperfocus on identity that Twitter has developed still drives me mad. This notion that someone is definitely inherently more knowledgeable on a topic purely because of their skin color; that you should support someone purely on the basis that they're [x] - it's always bothered me.

And I understand wanting to lessen the inequality, I really do. It's why people who need money often include what minority groups they're a part of - it's a way of saying "society is working against me and thus I would appreciate your support to combat that." I don't think it's wrong necessarily and I'm definitely softer on it than I used to be. But it still does bother me for all the reasons you stated.

Reducing me to your perception of who I am feels gross even when it's my minority status. Racists are also fixated on the fact that I'm Asian because it's the "other" part of me; I should be allowed to be whoever I am, all things included. (I'm using myself here as an example because I don't wanna drag other people in or use examples I can't directly speak for - but y'know, Tina should be allowed to be Tina and not just Asian woman. Sniff should be allowed to be Sniff and not just nonbinary. They're worth watching for what they do, not just because you want to stick it to society.)

And the way it goes is so wild to me too. I mean, look at how they treat Hannah. I understand that discrimination due to race and gender are two incredibly different things, but you're willfully ignorant if you're gonna pretend that Hannah hasn't had to combat a whole lot of shit to get where she is - including pretty recent on-stream harassment from another cc who turned out to be a total creep. Gaming is a white male dominated industry and Hannah - though white - is a woman. That's something to consider. But they don't give a shit because they don't like her and she won't fold.

(And the framing... they're acting like Dream saw Manatreed and said "you sir, are white. welcome to the SMP." like if you think that poorly of him then I think you're spending your time wrong.)

No worries for the rant - I agree with you. It does feel dehumanizing and I don't know why they're so invested in it. Like, I guess I kind of get why - they really flock to their community due to bigots - but I've faced my fair share of racism and I would rather no one - not even people doing it to hype me up - start with the fact that I'm a woc.

[sirthisisa-wendys]

The Enforcers Part 8 (Geto Suguru x Fem!Reader)

wc: 1.7k

tw: dark content (self-harm)

masterlist

a/n: By no means do I condone self-harm or want to glorify it in the light of this chapter. As a person who struggled with physical self-harm in her early teens, I know the destructive nature of this type of activity. However, as my characters are not perfect and complicated, I see this particular mode of action as something she would try to do in order to alleviate her pain and confusion. If you have questions or concerns, my inbox is always open to having a discussion about it.

If you so wish, you may skip this chapter altogether. There will be a recap on the next one if you choose to skip for your mental health. Take care of yourselves and see you soon. (ALSO, I know I promised smut but I gotta give y'all a raincheck this go-round. SORRY PLS DON'T KILL ME)

You're on your forty-seventh file of scandals, coverups, and secret dossiers that you finally feel it. The fabric of your identity begins to unravel right before your eyes.

Everything you've known is a lie.

The CSB has covered up so many things. So many lives lost. So many people forced to flee. So many families ripped apart--

An email makes its way over to the server, and you open it, the words across the screen coming from Suguru.

I know it's late, but send over Yu Haibara's files when you can.

You hit the reply button and begin to type out: "You mean the boy you killed?" but you stop yourself, deleting the words rapidly. Instead, you attach the files and send them over, not even bothering to look at them. You can't do it. Not another file could be stored away in the annals of your brain.

Nothing is as it seems anymore. The lies... they pile up in your mind, flooding the spaces where you used to hold what you thought was true, what you thought was real. Now, they're overflowing out of your brain and into your heart and soul, plaguing you like the nightmares that face you down night after night, more like demons that lurk in the corners of your mind than full file cabinets.

You always wake up in a tangle of sheets and sweat, one of your various enemies' faces hovering over you right before you stare down the barrel of a gun and --

You stumble out of the chair, eyes wet with tears, and go to the sink in the bathroom to wash your face. After you splash water on your skin, you look up at your reflection, anger rolling through you at the way you look. Weak.

You're fucking weak.

The voice in your head that usually told you that you were doing okay, that you had it all under control, is now turning on you, spitting nasty words that stick in between the synapses of your brain a muddy your rational thoughts.

The voices rise to a fever pitch, and you suddenly see red, the entirety of the world descending into blood-colored madness. The shattering of the glass mirror only becomes a reality when you're standing above the sink, chest heaving as your thoughts silence one by one, like shutting off lights in a house.

But only one stays behind as a shard of the mirror clinks into the sink.

Escape.

The light at the end of the tunnel.

You could get rid of the feelings here. You could get rid of the thoughts. You could escape. Why hadn't you thought about this before?

"Do it."

Your fingers grip the jagged shard of glass carefully, and before you can stop yourself, you drag it across the inside of your wrist, end to end, leaving behind a red line of blood that immediately blooms. Crimson dots drop into the sink, and you stare at the color, mesmerized by the way the blood runs down your arm and into the porcelain bowl. But there's no relief.

No sense of freedom.

Maybe you didn't do it hard enough?

Maybe you didn't--

The door to your room slams open, and you turn your head just as Suguru comes rushing into the bathroom. The shard of glass is still in your hand, as well as the blood running down your arm, and Suguru catches this immediately.

"Fuck," he breathes, and you turn to him, shard extended.

"Don't come any closer."

"Y/n," he calmly whispers. "You don't look so good."

"I wonder why that is," you reply, and Suguru stares back at you, hands raised in surrender.

"What're you doing?"

"What does it look like, Suguru?" you state in a trance. Your bullet wound begins to throb dully, but you ignore it, just like you're ignoring the blood dripping onto the tile flooring.

"Y/n, let's think about this."

"I don't want to think anymore!" The shrill scream is loud enough to make Suguru flinch, and you softly repeat, "I don't want to think anymore," over and over again as tears run down your face.

"I know," Suguru whispers. "I know. Will you let me help you?" You hiccup and drop the piece of glass to the floor, dissolving in a heap of tears and moans. You feel hands pulling you up from the floor and into strong arms, your head being cradled against a broad chest you've felt before. "Go ahead," Suguru encourages you. "Cry it out."

He carries you to another room in the building in silence, laying you on a firm bed and disappearing as you heave painful sobs into the sheets.

"Everything... hurts..." you gasp, and when Suguru reappears with a white bundle of cloth, a bandage roll, and some water, he nods.

"We're going to make it better, don't worry." He takes your injured arm and carefully wipes away the blood, examing the cut slowly. "Doesn't need stitches, thankfully." He turns to open the water bottle and hands it to you, silently telling you to drink while he bandages your wrist.

You drink the water greedily then lean back on the headboard, eyes closing down as Suguru works diligently on your wound. And then you remember the first time he did this for you and the mistake you made in your pridefulness.

"Thank you," you murmur, and Suguru looks up at your face, finally seeing some form of clarity cross your tear-streaked cheeks.

"You're welcome," he replies tenderly. "I have to keep you safe, remember? I promised you that I would." You don't answer him, but he finishes at that exact moment anyways, standing and placing the remnants of the bandage roll on the nightstand. The wound is now covered up completely, with no sign of blood seeping through the cotton and staining the white cloth dark red.

You watch as Suguru crawls into the bed beside you, sighing deeply as he runs his fingers through his locks. "Should I stay awake with you or do you want to try to sleep?"

"Sleep," you answer - albeit not confidently - and the black-eyed man obliges, pulling the thin sheet over you.

"I'll be right here," he affirms, but you reach out your uninjured arm and touch his hand. He instantly turns his palm up to let you grab his fingers, and you pull him closer to you in the king-sized bed.

"Hold me." A second passes with no movement, and Suguru whispers,

"Are you sure?" You nod, and he wordlessly scoots closer, wrapping an arm around you as you nestle into his side with your bandaged hand resting on his chest. His fingers rub a soft pattern up and down your skin, soothing you to the brink of sleep. "I've got you. We'll deal with everything else in the morning," Suguru murmurs as you slip off into a dreamless - and nightmare-less - sleep.

_____________________________________________________________

Morning comes and goes.

Midday arrives, and you awaken from your terrorless sleep still encased in Suguru's grasp. Your eyes flick up to his face, which is peaceful in the midday light streaming in from the windows. The Leader of the Fallen Sun District is asleep and dead to the world around him, but the sound of his breathing lets you know he's on the brink of waking up.

Part of you doesn't want him to. You want to lay there without any responsibilities to him, without any concern, or further harm to either one of you. Maybe if you continued to sleep, all of this would become a distant memory. All of this would go away, and you could go back to living in ignorance.

But Suguru's stirring makes you stiffen, and you feel his arms tighten around you before sliding away.

"You're awake."

"Yeah," you whisper, and he sits up, pulling his knees to his chest.

"We need to talk about last night." You sit up as well, staring at the edge of the bed blankly. "Why didn't you tell someone about your declining mental health?"

"I didn't realize it until it was too late," you admit, looking at the bandage on your wrist. "But I won't be doing that again."

"Doesn't matter," Suguru interjects, looking over at you. You choose to avoid his gaze and stare at your feet, inhaling deeply. "I have to have someone watch you now. I want you to be safe, and now I'm not sure if I can ensure that without some oversight on my part."

"No," you exhale quickly, looking over at him in fear. "I'm better now, I promise."

"I'll have someone move a few of your things over here. That way I can keep an eye on you, just in case." Suguru continues, standing from his position on the bed. "I won't bother you. But I made a promise to you, and I'm going to keep it at all costs." He turns back to you, stating, "Today we'll take a day off and go into the town. I've been wanting to show you around for a while anyway."

You conclude the argument is over when he places a kiss on your temple, then walks into his bathroom, shutting the door and leaving you on the bed alone.

_____________________________________________________________

A car picks both of you up from the building, and when you slide into the backseat, Suguru points to the expanse in the distance.

"Take us to the marketplace." The driver nods, scars running up and down his pale face and his blue eyes looking up at you in the rearview mirror. Does this man even know that he's sitting next to the leader of the Fallen Sun district? Or is Kenjaku a faceless man, hiding behind walls of ones and zeroes?

The scenes that pass by you look identical to those of the city you know and love. There are children playing on the sidewalks, people carrying groceries, life carrying on as if the majority of their names aren't on some rejected list of people who defected from their previous society. Suguru notices your awe at the way things are, and looks over at you, smiling brightly.

"You'd be surprised what you can build from ashes, y/n."

_____________________________________________________________

TAGLIST: @missbonekitty @wack0-genius @thankuary @jsqeeut @r-i-m-f-009 @sunfloweroranges @leanne-tamashi @girlruby23 @rein-icu @brownskinnedgirll @chanelmalandro @savantsoulfinder @jibe-gajima @chilledlucifer @amnxsia @kontentious @fuyuko26 @everybodylovescayrayray @flare-on @sammytamaki @meena-in-a-nutshell @falling-through-pages @naoyasdarling

[emeraldwhump]

Baby Twins AU Part 3

AU where Sasha is much older than twins and took them much earlier so he has now found himself being in care of two three year olds.

If anyone's wondering:

slonyonok - means "little elephant"

pchyolka - "small/little bee"

solnyshko - "little sun"

tw: someone being rude to a child (no physical minor whump or abuse tho, just a character being an asshole)

masterlist <part 2>(but each part works as a standalone as well)

Who the hell meets up for the negotiations in the restaurant. Seth thought, as he walked around the decorative part of the room.

If it was someone else Seth's boss would probably tell them to fuck off, but Sasha Morozov was far too important of an ally to tell him that, and well its not like anyone would dare to do that, anyway.

But the man definitely had strange ideas sometimes, like changing the traditional meeting place form the club or the back alley somewhere to some random restaurant.

But no matter whether Seth liked it or not his boss told him to get his ass over there and negotiate a better deal with Sasha's organization, so he had to go.

Easier said than done, Seth thought bitterly, Sasha wasn't exactly known for his agreeable nature...

Lost in thoughts Seth stumbled into something - and that something made a shriek.

Seth looked down confused, and his eyes landed on a little girl, she was standing with one palm pressed to the fish tank and with a small elephant plushie in the other, the green eyes looked at Seth reproachfully.

"Watch were you're going brat!" Seth growled.

And Seth was a big muscular man, which was sort of a necessity in his job, still when he used that tone of voice usually most adults took a step back and retreated quickly. But the kid in front of him just stuck out her tongue.

"Yeah? Alright then" Seth retorted angered by the girl's response. He bent down and teared away the plushie from her. The kid extended her arms trying to reach to the toy.

"That's what you get for talking back to me"

"My-my brother-" The girl's lip trembled, and the tears filled up her eyes.

"Your brother? I'm very curious what some random guy is going to do about it. Come on, go tell him. Scram!"

The girl looked at Seth for a few more seconds, before turning back and running off to one of the tables in the back.

Seth scoffed annoyed, and crossed his arms, the elephant was dangling from his hand. He watched as the two other of his coworkers entered the room... alright so now they're waiting just for Sasha.

Sasha was sitting at the table alone, Cole has talked Lucien into going outside with him, and Vi wanted to go look at fish aquarium, which was fairly close so he let her go alone.

Now Sasha was tapping his fork impatiently, waiting for the rest of those morons to show up. He stopped, when he felt someone tugging on his sleeve.

"Viv you're back already?" He asked, but the tugging only got more intense. Concerned Sasha turned around and leaned over the seat to the girl, who looked upset to say the least.

"Malyshka what's wrong?" He asked lifting her up from the floor and sitting her down next to him.

"Sashka slonyonok" Vi sniffled, and Sasha realized that indeed her favorite plushie was nowhere to be found.

"What's wrong with it, pchyolka? Did you lost it?"

"Man took my slonyonok" Vi answered frustrated.

"Someone took your toy?!"

Vi nodded and the tears started streaming down her face.

Well the fucker just made a big mistake. Sasha thought.

"Don't cry, pchyolka." He said out loud instead, and wiped away the tears from her face, with his thumb.

"Come on, we're going to yell at him" Sasha added picking up the girl.

"Can you show me which one was it?" He asked as they reached the middle of the room, and three men standing there.

Vi pointed her finger in the direction of the one standing in the middle, Sasha vaguely knew him from some of the previous meetings.

All three of them had their backs turned to him, Sasha took one more step and shoved the man in the middle forward with his free hand.

"What the - oh Sasha, finally-" Seth turned around, but his words died down, and his eyes got wide when he saw the kid in Sasha's arms.

"Want to explain to me why the fuck did you took her toy?" Sasha asked instead of a greeting and Seth froze.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Seth started to panic, How the hell was he supposed to know that apparently this brat is Sasha's little sister.

"I umm, she was... she stuck out her tongue at me." Seth stalled, realizing how weak that excuse was as soon as he has said it.

"She's a toddler!" Sasha growled and Seth started nervously fidgeting with the plushie that he was still holding.

"Slonyonok!" The child squealed and started wriggling trying to grab it.

"Of course, pchyolka"

"Give me that" Sasha snatched the toy from Seth's hands.

"Here you go malyshka" With that Sasha handed her the toy, and the girl instantly hugged it, curling up in the man's arms, Sasha looked back at Seth.

"What are you waiting for? Apologize" He said.

"I'm sorry Sasha, I didn't know she's your sister -" Seth started...

"Not to me, to her" The man stopped him.

"What? why? She's just a child she won't - "

"Because we apologize, if we were rude to someone" Sasha said more to the girl than to Seth, and she nodded.

"Right?" Sasha asked turning back to Seth, his tone was definitely a warning.

"... right. I'm sorry little one. Happy?"

"To slonyonok too" A small voice commanded.

"You want him to apologize to your elephant?" Sasha made sure, stroking the girl's hair.

"Sasha come on, jesus christ, this is getting ridiculous."

"If I were you I would apologize. Convincingly." The man growled.

The threat in his voice was obvious, so Seth, trying to ignore amused looks, from his two coworkers leaned over to the kid.

"I'm very sorry, elephant" He recited

"Good." Sasha said, apperently satisfied.

"Did she just make him say sorry to her toy?" Lucien asked entering the room. Cole was walking beside him holding his hand, but he let go of it and ran over to Sasha when he spotted him.

"I swear I'm starting to like them more and more, that's hilarious" Lucien added as Sasha put Viv on the ground next to her twin.

"There's two of them?... of course there's two of them" Seth muttered much to Lucien's amusement.

"I told you it gets everyone at first" Sasha's friend said cheerfully.

"Yes, there's two." Sasha felt like it was the only question he has heard for the last few weeks. "And if you make either of them cry again I'll gut you"

Sasha and Lucien turned around and started to walk away, the kids followed them, Seth stayed behind but still could hear the man talking.

"How did you like it outside solnyshko? Did you saw anything interesting?"

Seth pinched the bridge of his nose, turned back and looked at his coworkers who were unsuccessfully trying to hold back their laughter.

"Shut up"

....

tagging: @hurting-fictional-people @whumpy-arts-and-crafts @whump-world @winedark-whump @painful-pooch @egg-writes-whump

[smutty-ki113r]

I woke up to my alarm tellin me to get out of bed and so naturally I checked your tumblr and I'm,,, concerned

There's a small anon war over what hoodie smells like and I have no sense of smell whatsoever so I'm not contributin, but, leafs.

Petition to change the plural of leaf to leafs instead of leaves. Leaves is an ugly ass word. Leafs just rolls of the tongue, its nicer, its what the people want

Also the same with sheep like what, why is the plural the same, I refer to them as sheeps cuz it makes me happy

Also I don't like the y/n either because "y/n" is usually a whole ass person all in itself. And they're usually a girl in most fanfic, along with the fact that they are the Mariest Sue That Ever Mary Sue'd.

I've been considerin why LJ is my favourite and I think it's purely because if any of the more sane (Masky, Toby, Slenderman, etc) took one fuckin GLANCE they would run away. I have hope that clown boy is too far gone to care about my mental state too much.

If you squint real hard my braincell count looks like a normal amount

I'm so exhausted I'm gonna talk to you, my favourite online human, because the blue light from my phone keeps me awake.

But I think my favourite dynamic ever is Rivals to Lovers™. Not enemies to lovers, cuz enemies have two different goals in mind; whereas rivals compete for the same thing.

I'm a sucker for medieval shit so,, a scene that's been annoying me all day is~

you're invited to a Royal Ball (because isn't that how all romances start these days, just roll with it brother) and you go, finding out it's a masquerade ball. You get there, you dance, being passed from person to person in a never ending loop of jewel-embeded skirts that were swept across the marble floor of the (obscenely) bedazzled castle, and suits that seemed more expensive than you were.

Regret never came because the wine chased it away; it flowed in waterfalls into your glass, the scent of it filling the room but not enough to drown out the everlasting smell of expensive perfume. Sometimes the odor of it clung to the women of the ball tighter than their corsets. The massive drapes were pulled back, latching to the wall in attempt to keep them from falling and blocking the view–of which captured your gaze immediately. The doors were swung open to let the air in, and ensuring that no glass got in the way of what lay beyond; the moon, full and impossibly heavy hung, stranded in the crisp night air. The moon was the only one that didn't judge the events that took place in the ballroom that night, the only thing watching the crowd of people with a pure, impassive gaze.

Because later that night, after multiple drinks had been passed around and a cacophony of laughter, dancing, and food had been consumed–after many glasses of wine had passed your lips and your body– of which was feeling tingly and impishly confident–had wandered to a far corner, darkened by the domed ceiling, seemingly on its own accord. In that moment you would give everything to stay in the Palace, to twirl until your feet blistered and you withered away into old gnarled bones and ashes that could still dance with the wind.

"I do hope that you know well what you wish for; not for clarity of the concept, my dear, but for clarity of consequence." The voice that spoke in your ear was deep, low, and held even darker undertones. It siezed your attention and captured it in both hands, strangling the curiosity out of you. It had come from your right, even further into the pitch-black corner, but as soon as you moved all the thoughts in your head sloshed about, banging against the interior of your head. It was either equivelant to that or a sledge hammer, one of the two. The wine was probably just twisting the voice's around you, making them appear. You tried to convince yourself but alas, even you deemed it vastly unlikely.

Turning around was more difficult then you planned. Just when you thought you would see the owner of the voice, nobody was there. Yep, probably just the abundance of alcohol making you dizzy.

Shifting back to dancing wasn't hard; it was as if you were floating down along a stream, merely following wherever the river took you. Voices pressed against you on all sides, soon becoming a background noise too, a faint buzzing sound. It rose and fell like the waves, ever-changing in volume.

You started to lose a grip on reality; eyes fluttering closed as you danced, just taking a breath of air, letting the delicate night wash away your worries, who you wer–

What the fuck!?

You did a double take, eyes now wide fucking open, because outside you spied someone that had to be atleast a foot taller than anyone else in the ball. The darkness seemed to congregate behind it, flourishing, and the only thing you could see was a wide smile and a pair of eyes.

It seemed that you couldn't get enough air into your lungs, couldn't focus; the voice's that used to be hazy surround sound was now piercingly loud the people were just too much, everywhere at once. Your breathing only picked up even more as you gripped your chest.

The.. Demon had disappeared by the time you glanced upward, you you scurried outside, barely making it before you collapsed on a golden railing. There were fine drops of rain scattered about, eluding to the fact it had rained earlier. Your masquerade costume was getting wet, leaning against the railing, but you were so dizzy you didn't care.

It was the wine, it had to be. Nobody could be that tall, it–it was humanly impossible. Moving was now akin to attempting to romp through thick syrup; a stagnant pace, uncoordinated, unsteady. Then it stopped. There was a hand on your shoulder.

You skimmed the person; they had a dark blue suit that sparkled with the occasional gold highlights, with a blue mask covering their face–it seemed that it covered all of their face, and didn't quite match what a masquarade mask should look like, but you didn't care. The support was welcomed.

"You seemed as if you required help, my Lady," He said, his voice deep and low, so much so that you questioned if you would even be able to hear him over the music blaring in the ballroom if the two of you were to venture back inside.

You looked back to where you saw the tall being, with its eyes and smile that seemed wrong, and wrong in a terrible, dangerous way.

"Care to dance with me?" You asked, relieved when he slipped his arm with yours and led you inside. The music had slowed to a waltz, nothing like the big parade of dancers that came in flurries of colour and left just as fast. His arms were solid and a comfort, welcome as the breeze on a sunny day. It felt like he protected you from everything that might have caught you off guard, in a way. Plus, he kept you from falling flat on my face, which is always a good thing.

The song changed and you were about to ask him for something else; his name, maybe, but fate had other plans. Both of you were bumped and somebody else had picked you up in their arms, hands landing on your waist as the dance consumed you. Your mystery man in blue was gone, it seemed, and you sighed. Being safe was a hard thing to ask. Instead, above you now was a man dressed in dark browns and yellows– he had a rather strange mask that curled around his mouth and eyes, leaving the centre free. His brown locks looked ruffled and messy and he jerked every once in a while, moving sporadically. It didn't stop and he didn't seem to be able to control it so you didn't mind. The slight jolts emitting from him caused you to wake up more, which was always welcome.

"Are you okay?" You asked, after his gaze had wandered elsewhere. It came back to you in a heartbeat, and you sensed be was smiling under the mask.

He twirled you, spinning you gracefully. "Of course I am," he said, coming in close again. "For now, I'm winning."

The night surged on quickly and you found yourself caught between multiple strangle figures; a woman with silky black hair and a mask that made her eyes appear the same colour, that offered you a drink that wasn't wine. A man that had offered you wine, that stood next to the big buffet table with a full glass and a white mask. He had stood with a black-masked man, but he weaved through the crowd until he was another string in a pile of wool. Your blue mystery man made another appearance, but not with you–he was talking in low tones with another man (you didn't mind that they were mostly men; seemingly just because it never occurred to you that they might be connected) who had black hair, like the other woman, and pale white skin. The palest you'd seen in a long time. However, at that moment, he had looked up and seen you staring, only for you to catch scars at the ends of his mouth. You crossed it down to makeup or a deformity of some kind. Through all this, you were atleast grateful you didn't see the tall being again.

And everything carried on. Until it didn't. Blood stained the carpet black and the screams were too loud to ever fade away, seeming to shake the walls. You had tried to run from it, from them, but you tripled in a hallway and couldn't even get up because of your many glasses of alcohol. Struggling was futile and someone easily pulled you back.

With horror you realised it was one of the men from before; you recognised the scruffy brown hair and occasional movements. He held you there, between life and death a moment more, a moment where all the men you'd seen that night, and the woman, came around the corner. Their voices were distorted to your damaged ears but your eyes focused on the tall being; he was real, and black and white, with hands that weren't normal and a nose that was even less so. They're all abnormal, your consciousness whispered to you, and you believed it. The man on top of you grinned, happy that he had caught you. Your stomach turned.

"Bring them to the Mansion," a voice ring out in your head. Your 'companions' seemed to hear it too. "And bring them alive."

As you can see I've never written anythin in my life so this is shit lmfao but I don't care an im just here to brainstorm anyways

Have my little scene, take it, because it was fun to do. It's not spellchecked, I've not read through it, because I can't be bothered, so if anythin is wrong laugh and move on brother. Also tryin to write without cuttin off the g from my words and shortenin them was so hard so halfway through I didn't bother lmao

I think this is my longest message yet so, sorry about that Red

Cheers if you actually made it this far.

–Kieran.

I agree. Leafs is better. SHEEPS- thats the cutest thing I’ve ever heard and I love it.

Y/n is a stereotype in itself so I agree, it’s usually ya know, the whole “im different” kind of chick who can do everything and anything (basically bella from twilight), when in reality the reader is human and humans have imperfections. Lots of ‘m …LJ is my fav for a lot of reasons, at this point he’s a comfort to me. Plus, I (oml) relate to him so much, and I can do a post about this- if someone cares or asks. And I have similar traumaaa

Oh geez, I’m your favorite online human, AGH my heart, again, its burning. I agree, RIVALS TO LOVERS SOUNDS SO SOSOSOOSO GOOD I LOVE IT. (I would say my fav trope is “lovers who ache to be together but due to circumstance one starts to lose feeling for the other and it’s an agonizing pain to the other” or maybe that’s just me because I find completion in sadness, which is horrific. But I really itch to angst.)

Here’s me reading your scene and also talking about it at the same time. ‘Regret never came because the wine chased it away’…that’s a good line, thats a good line. The way you just take one thing and mash it with another aspect like wow. Like as each idea were droplets of water on a leafs and you happen to tilt it, connecting them so effortlessly. I’m jealous. The descriptions are amazing, and how you make it the reader’s thought process-damn. I WANNA WRITE THIS GOOD, YALL OUTSHINE ME. And then you say this was shit. *slaps you* DONT YOU DARE UNDESESTIMATE YOURSELF MISTER

Also the way you just subconsciously cut off the g’s is spectacular. I try to, but it’s hard for me. SORRY? SORRY?! Nononono thank you, because the longer the message the better. Apart from the fact that long messages make me happy, especially from you, it means you put time into talking to me! Which makes me super happy too. Heheheh. Thank you love! This made my morning, along with that drawing submission from cam anon, you should check it out! It’s really good.

[wlw-lovestruck-fiction]

JD angst, where mc thinks JD is falling out of love with them, but they're really just loosing themselves, and don't know how to deal with it?

It was overwhelming - all encompassing - a sadness that was so heavy, it could drip from the heavens like a pitch black sky. I watched them as they went through the motions, acting as if everything was the same - but I knew it wasn't. I knew something had changed. I could see it in the way they smiled at me - how it never quite reached their eyes anymore. How the bright orange, that had once burned so brightly for me, seemed dull - lifeless - in comparison. Even now, as they sat quietly at the kitchen table, strands of sunset hanging down into their somber face, I knew I was losing them.

"Jordan.. can we talk?" I asked tentatively. They give me a half hearted smile, pulling their eyes away from the plate of waffles in front of them.

"Of course. What's up?" They replied, shifting uneasily in their seat. I take a deep breath before answering - my heart never feeling quite as heavy as it did in that moment.

"I've... I've just been feeling this distance between us, lately." I said, watching their face closely, as they quickly averted their eyes - rubbing the back of the neck with their hands, as they searched for their words. The solemn look to their usually bright eyes, instantly bringing tears to my own.

"Look.. Theo.. I.." They pause, their long fingers tracing idle patterns on the aged surface of the table. "It has nothing to do with you... or us.. I just."

I watched them struggle for the right words - for the right way to break down their normally guarded behavior. The silence felt like a void in my chest. Like if I removed my heart, and placed it into my hands, it would crumble under it's own pressure. I swallowed hard, taking a deep breath, as I tried to steady myself.

"Then, what is it JD? You know you can talk to me about anything. You're.. my best friend."

This time, when their eyes reach mine, they shimmer slightly, with unspent tears. Raw pain dipped in guilt - remorse - and something deeper that said, that they could easily break at any moment. I reached across the table, taking their soft hands in mine. They gave me a smile so sad, I could feel my heart growing heavier, with each beat it took. In the twenty years we had been together, I had never once worried about our future - Never once wondered if they loved me, wanted me - I had always known, deep down inside, that JD would always be there - until now.  

"It's just... I've been feeling so lost lately." They began, allowing a single tear drop to fall down their beautiful face. "I feel like I've just become so disconnected with what makes me.. me"

They take another deep breath, this time giving me the most genuine smile I had seen in a long time.

"I love you, Theo. With all of my heart, but I'm just not happy with who I am, at the moment."

They sigh, leaning back into their chair, as they take their hands from mine, and wipe the tears from their face. I had never seen them look so torn - so unsure of themselves - not since the day I had rescued them, from the depths of Hell.

"So... what can we do about this?" I asked, taking another deep grounding breath. "I want you to be happy, Jordan."

They gave me a look of half shock, half wonderment - their perfect mouth, slightly ajar, as they mulled over my words.

"I.. hadn't thought about it, honestly. I was so afraid to talk to you about it."

"You can always talk to me, JD" I said, as I gave them a small smirk. "And here, I thought I was in love with somebody clever."

"Touche'" They replied, with a chuckle.

"Well... think about it now. What do you think would help?"

"Honestly.. " They said, after a few minutes. A tone of hesitation in their voice. "All I've been thinking about lately, is getting on my bike, and just... going."

"Going... ?"

"Not to anywhere in particular. Just... to feel free for a little while. To feel the wind in my hair - and in my wings. Maybe spend some time in Jersey alone, and just... reconnect, you know?"

I take a minute to let their words swirl throughout my brain - each syllable skipping like a lifeline threatening to break loose. The thought of not waking up to the sunlight dancing across their delicate features - or hearing their laugh, while watching a truly horrible documentary - left me with a feeling of loss, so strong, that for a moment, I couldn't breath. I leaned back, closing my eyes while the feeling moved through me. I knew this was what they needed, and I knew they would be back. There was no other cryptid alive, that loved as fiercely as Jordan Davies.

"O-okay... and.. how long do you think you would need?" I asked, keeping my eyes closed, doing my best to hold onto some composure.

"Dunno.. a month, maybe?"

My eyes instantly opened at the feeling of their hands back on mine. The soft pout on their lips causing the unspent tears to finally stream down my face. They swiftly moved from their seat, wrapping me in a warm embrace - willing the tears to fall freely from my eyes. They were tears of fear, of the unknown, of the smallest parts of myself, that was still insecure- still unbelieving, that someone like JD, could even be in love with someone like me. I pulled them in closer, breathing in the familiar smell of sulfer, their elegant fingers running through my hair, as they did their best to comfort me.

"Hey.. hey... it's going to be okay, Theo. I don't have to go anywhere. I've got you." They whispered into me, kissing the tears from my flushed cheeks.

"N-no.. Jordan.. you have to go.." I replied softly.

"But.."

"I want you to always be able to be... you.. and if this is what you need, to not lose the incredible creature, that I fell in love with, then you need to do it, JD." I said, insistently.

"Theo.. I... I don't know what to say.."

"Just say that you love me, and that you'll be back." I said, holding back the next bout of tears.

"Of course, I'll be back!" They exclaimed, as they lifted my chin up, forcing me to look them in the eyes. "Theo.. I love you. There's no one else, that I would rather spend an eternity with, sitting on a couch, and watching horrible cryptid documentaries,"

I gave them a small smile, doing my best to wipe the tears from me eyes, as they looked me over.  

"And plus, don't forget!" They continued, tapping one of their fingers to the spot on my shoulder, where my tattoo was. "You can summon me back for a few hours, anytime you like!"

"True." I replied, giving them a smirk before continuing. "Guess, I really am stuck with you, aren't I?"

"Fuck yeah, you are." They replied, giving me a smile so big, it almost outshone the morning sun, that was peaking it's way in, through the kitchen windows.

"Good, because I wouldn't have it any other way, you know?"

"Oh, I know." They replied, with a knowing look.

"I'll miss you, JD."

"I'll miss you too, Theo, but I’ll always be right here." They said, placing one of their hands over my heart.

"Okay.. that was cheesy." I replied, with a laugh.

"Only for you, babe." They smiled.

I cupped their face with my hand, leaning in for a soft kiss. Feeling their breath against me - their soft lips against mine - drinking me in, as they told me everything was going to be alright.