#clock outside analog

[mephisto-reporting]

Sorry, I Hurt You: Zayne Edition

Premise: You hurt him with your words and instantly regretted it, tearing up for the things you said, things you could not take back. But in that moment, all he sees is the love you have for him. Inspired by this request. Pairing:Reader x Zayne Note: Reader and the men are in a relationship for this fic. If you would react to this situation differently by saying you would not hurt him, you would not argue, then please know that this fic may not be for you. Life happens and different people react differently. A reader tag isnt a generalisation for this fic. Let me know if you want to be a part of my taglist. Content warning: Angst, arguments, hurt/comfort, tears.

Zayne Edition | Caleb Edition | Xavier Edition | Sylus Edition | Rafayel Edition

 Zayne had promised to meet you at 7 p.m., a rare evening carved out of his relentless schedule. But, as always, the world seemed to conspire against you.

At 6:34 p.m., your phone buzzed.

Zayne: Emergency surgery. I’ll be late. I am sorry.

The message was short and direct, like every other text you’d received when he was busy. Not that you minded, because you knew he would be indulgent when he had the time with his gifs and emoji.

You sighed, staring at the glowing screen. Of course, it wasn’t his fault—his job was important, lives depended on him. You knew that. You always knew that. But knowing didn’t make it hurt any less.

You: How late?

You waited, watching the little "typing…" bubble appear and disappear a few times before his reply came in.

Zayne: I’m not sure.

You: Ill wait for you, Dr. Zayne 😉

The knot in your chest tightened. You tossed your phone onto the coffee table and leaned back against the couch, staring at the clock on the wall. 7:00 p.m. came and went. By 8:30, the sun had dipped below the horizon, painting the room in shades of blue and gray. By 10:00, your patience was fraying.

Your thoughts spiraled. You couldn’t even remember the last time the two of you spent more than a few uninterrupted hours together. If it wasn’t the hospital, it was a conference, or research, or some far-flung medical camp in the middle of nowhere.  You understood—he wasn’t just a doctor, he was the doctor, the youngest cardiologist in Linkon City, and his work saved lives. But no amount of understanding could temper the weight of the empty hours that stretched between you tonight.  It wasn’t just tonight. This was a pattern, a cycle you’d grown used to but never quite accepted.

But waiting was a lonely affair. Life had been stressful for you, too. Work, finances, personal struggles—everything felt like it was crashing down. And now, the one person you longed to lean on, to feel close to, seemed so far away. Was it selfish to want his presence? To crave a moment of his time? You didn’t know anymore. All you knew was that you missed him. Missed you both.

By midnight, the frustration was a storm you couldn’t contain. You told yourself you’d wait but every tick of the analog clock that Zayne liked was like chalk grating against the blackboard. :00 a.m. The city outside your window was quiet, the only sound the faint hum of passing cars. 1:45 a.m. The words you wanted to say twisted in your chest, growing heavier. 2:23 a.m. The lock turned.

The sound of the lock turning startled you. Zayne stepped inside, his movements deliberate and quiet as he placed his bag down and shrugged off his coat.

“You’re awake…” he said softly, his sharp eyes flicking to you as you sat up on the couch.

“Yeah,” you replied, your voice flat. “I’ve been waiting. I wanted to see you. How was the surgery?”

“It went well,” he said simply. “Complicated, but the patient stabilized.”

“That’s good,” you said, your voice tight. “Have you eaten anything?”

He shook his head. “I grabbed something at the hospital earlier. I’m fine.”

Fine. He always said that. No matter how long the day, no matter how much he’d pushed himself, it was always, I’m fine.

“Zayne…” you began, your tone already edged with the frustration simmering beneath the surface. “You’ve been on your feet for hours. You need to take care of yourself too, you know.”

“I do,” he replied, his tone even, almost dismissive. “We can talk about it tomorrow. You should get some rest.”

And there it was—the spark that lit the fire.

“Rest?” You repeated the word, your voice incredulous. “You think I can just ‘rest’ after sitting here for hours waiting for you? Do you even realize what this feels like, Zayne? It’s like I don’t even exist in your life anymore!”

His brows furrowed at your outburst, a hint of confusion on his face.

“I know your job is important,” you continued, your voice shaking. “I know what you do saves lives, and I’ve tried so hard to be understanding. But do you have any idea what it’s like to feel like you’re always second? To feel like you’re not even a priority?”

“Wait.” he interjected, his tone calm but firm. “I didn’t say you weren’t a priority—”

“No, you didn’t say it,” you interrupted, your anger flaring hotter now. “But it feels that way, Zayne. Every time you miss a dinner, every time you come home at some ungodly hour, it feels like I’m just… here. Waiting. Always waiting. Do you even realize how long it’s been since we’ve had a real conversation? Since we’ve actually spent time together?”

His brows furrowed deeper. “You know my job doesn’t exactly allow for flexibility.”

“Your job,” you spat, the words laced with bitterness. “It’s always about your job. And I get it, okay? I do. You’re saving lives, and that’s incredible. But when was the last time you asked about mine?”

He opened his mouth to respond, but you didn’t give him the chance. The words poured out, sharp and unrelenting.

“Do you have any idea how lonely it’s been? I’m not even sure I’m a part of your life anymore!”

The moment the words left your mouth, you saw the shock flicker across his face. His usually stoic expression cracked, his eyes widening in disbelief.

Your heart thudded painfully as the weight of what you’d said sank in. “Zayne, I—” Your voice faltered, tears welling up. “I didn’t mean that. I swear I didn’t mean that.”

He didn’t say anything, just stood there, his silence somehow heavier than any words he could’ve spoken.

The room fell silent except for the quiet hitch of your breath. You pressed your palms to your eyes, trying to stem the tears, but they came anyway, hot and unstoppable.

Your chest tightened as the tears spilled over. “I’m sorry…” you choked out, the apology tumbling from your lips. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it. I just… I don’t know. Everything’s been so overwhelming, and I didn’t mean to take it out on you. I know how much your work means to you, I really do. I’m just… I’m tired, Zayne.”

ZAYNE’S POV

Her words hung in the air, each one slicing deeper than the last. I’m not even sure I’m a part of your life anymore.

Was that really how she felt? Had he really been so consumed by his work that he’d made her feel this way?

He swallowed hard, guilt tightening in his chest. Of course, she was right. He’d assumed her silence meant she understood, that she was okay with the late nights and missed dates. But now, looking at her, he realized just how deeply he’d been wrong.

And then came her tears.

He’d seen people cry before—patients, families, even his colleagues. But her tears were different. They weren’t just borne of hurt; they carried guilt, love, and something raw and unfiltered. She wasn’t angry at him. She was hurting for him, even as she blamed herself. “I’m not making excuses. I just... I’ve been trying to be strong for so long, trying to understand, but tonight... I just felt... alone. I didn’t mean it. I swear. You don’t deserve to hear that from me. I love you so much, and I feel terrible for even saying something so awful.”

The anger in her voice born from exhaustion, frustration, a sense of abandonment, had shocked him, yes. But now, as her words turned to apologies, all he could see was how deeply she cared for him. Through the raw tears, through the pain and self-accusation in her voice, all he could see was how much she loved him. It was clear as day, even when she couldn’t bring herself to look at him, even as she buried her face in her hands.

Her words tumbled out in a rush, desperate, as though she needed to undo everything with an apology. She wasn’t angry anymore, no. She was so sorry, and it hurt him more than anything else could. He felt his heart crack, the guilt swirling like a blizzard, and without thinking, he moved toward her, instinct pulling him into action.

“Don’t cry...” he murmured, stepping closer. His voice was softer now, tinged with something almost fragile.

“I’m sorry,” she choked out, her words tumbling over each other. “I didn’t mean it, Zayne. I swear, I didn’t mean it. I just—tonight was hard, and I—”

“Stop.” His hands came up to gently frame her face, his thumbs brushing away the tears that refused to stop. “You don’t have to apologize.” The way her shoulders shook with each sob, the desperation in her voice—it all spoke of someone who loved so fiercely that even the slightest hint of causing harm to the one she loved shattered her entirely.

“But I do,” she insisted, her voice cracking. “I was upset, but that doesn’t make it okay for me to say something like that to you. You didn’t deserve it. I’m so sorry, Zayne. I didn’t mean it. I swear, I didn’t mean it. I’m just… so tired, and everything feels so heavy. I know how much your work means to you. I know it’s important, but… but I said those things, and that’s not okay.”

Her voice cracked on the last word, and it cut through him like a scalpel. The rawness of her pain, the way her hands shook as she tried to wipe away her tears—it gutted him. He stepped closer and gently took her hands, stilling their movement. “Stop,” he murmured, his voice low and steady. “Please, stop apologizing.”

But she didn’t. She kept going, as if she needed him to hear every ounce of her sorrow, every misplaced thought born from exhaustion and frustration. “Just because I’m in a bad place doesn’t mean I can take it out on you. It doesn’t make it okay to hurt you. I’m so, so sorry—”

“Enough,” Zayne said, firmer this time, his hands tightening around hers. He closed the distance between them, his forehead resting against hers. His eyes searched hers, even as his own unshed tears blurred his vision. “I hear you. And I forgive you. You don’t need to say another word. You are important to me. Do you hear me? You always have been.”

He pulled her into his arms, and for a moment, the world outside disappeared. The tension in her body melted into his embrace as he cradled her close. He felt her sobs against his chest, the dampness of her tears seeping through his shirt, and his heart ached in a way that no medical textbook could ever describe. It was a mix of regret, love, and an overwhelming need to protect the person in his arms.

When he tilted her face up to his, his thumb brushing tenderly over her cheek to catch the fresh tears, his lips found hers in a kiss that spoke the words he couldn’t say. It wasn’t rushed or hurried, but deep and deliberate—a melding of emotions. He tasted the salt of her tears, felt the softness of her lips trembling against his. His hand cupped the back of her head, holding her there as if letting go might shatter everything. It wasn’t about passion, not this time. It was a deep, desperate need to remind her, remind himself, that she was still here. That no matter how far he had drifted, they were still together.

This is how much she loves me, Zayne thought, as her lips pressed harder against his, the urgency building. This is how much she needs me. Even when she’s hurting, even when she’s angry, she still reaches for me, still tries to make things right.

In that moment, everything was stripped bare. There were no walls, no facades. Just him and her. His kiss was a vow, an apology, and a promise all at once. When he finally pulled back, his lips still ghosting over hers, he murmured, “I’ve been a fool. I am sorry too. I should have been here, with you. I should have made time for you.”

Her eyes widened slightly, confusion flickering through the tears. “Zayne—”

“All these days, I thought I was going home after work,” he continued, his voice low and weighted with emotion. “But it wasn’t home. It was just a house. This… this is home. You’re my home.”

The words hung in the air between them, raw and unfiltered. He pressed another kiss to her forehead, his hands still framing her face. “I’m taking the weekend off. No conferences, no surgeries, no calls. Just us.”

A small, shaky laugh escaped her. “You mean it?”

“I do,” he said, his lips curving into the faintest of smiles. “Even if I have to tie myself to this couch to prove it.”

She chuckled softly, and he felt the tension in her body begin to ease.

“I miss you,” he said finally, his voice breaking the stillness. “I miss us. And I’m sorry I made you feel like you weren’t important. You are. You’re everything.” And that was the truth. All that mattered now was her. She was his home, his heart, his everything. And he would make sure she knew that every single day.

A soft sigh of relief escaped her, and she relaxed into him, the tension in her body finally easing. And Zayne, for the first time in a long while, allowed himself to rest. He closed his eyes, listening to her heartbeat against his chest, and he knew that no matter what else life brought him, this was all he needed. This was home.

And he was never going to let her feel unimportant again.

AN: reblogs, feedback and opinions are appreciated!

Zayne Edition | Caleb Edition | Xavier Edition | Sylus Edition | Rafayel Edition

Taglist: @cordidy

[siriuslylantsov]

morning glory

pairing: spencer reid x reader

description: following the events of drunken confessions. the next morning after spencer tells you he loves you, albeit drunk and half asleep, you don't know if he means it.

tags: fluff, gn!reader, hangover but i dont dwell on it, whiny!spencer (lol), so so soft, r is so unsure but she just needs reassurance.

a/n: omg my first pt 2 as per popular demand (3 people asked), happy reading!

wc: 1.6k

i love you. 

three words that bounce from one end to the other in your head, like a pendulum, reverberating across the hard surface of your skull. it echoes through the small space of your ear canal, taking up entirely too much space. it repeats with the beat of your pulse, heart thudding in a steady rhythm. 

suffice it to say, you barely slept. running the words over and over for some kind of clarity. instead you preoccupied yourself with watching spencer sleep, like you are now.

with the sunrise, came light. light that filtered through the curtains just enough that you could see his face. his lips are slightly parted, soft puffs of air that don’t quite reach you. they’re pulled down minutely, in a little frown, seemingly how his face falls when he's unconscious. it's sweet. his eyebrows twitch, creasing momentarily, you wonder if he’s dreaming, or if it's a nightmare. 

your fingers itch to reach out and touch him, soothe the line. but he's so peaceful, you don't know if you want to wake him up. you never get to see him like this, without the weight of the world on his shoulders, unthinking. so you stall a bit, let the wave of serenity pass before it comes crashing down in the form of a violent hangover. 

you probably stay like that for an hour, an hour spent admiring his features. it's easier than confronting what he said. he’d stayed in the same position all night, curled up on his side, facing you. you’re leaning on your elbow now, looking down at him from above. his face moves, nuzzling into the pillow beneath his head. it causes that same stubborn strand of hair to fall loose. 

you give in and touch him this time, tucking the piece behind his ear. you trace a finger over his brow bone and then down the slope of his perfect nose. this causes him to stir, eyes fluttering open as he takes in his surroundings before they land on you. they instantly soften.

“morning,” you whisper, wary of your volume.

“hey,” he croaks, voice riddled in sleep. all his features pull up, twisted in a grimace as his head throbs. he rolls onto his back, bringing his fingers up to his temple, rubbing the pads of them in between his eyebrows. 

“where's your aspirin?” 

he hums in thought, or in pain, it's uncertain. “the um- drawer,” he points beside him aimlessly, eyes still closed. he's about to move to get it but you stop him, leaning over his body to reach the bedside table next to him. you reach over him, hovering awkwardly over his body. you shiver imperceptibly when his hand settles on your waist for support, an unconscious action, you suppose. when you find it, you give him a pill and he swallows, his hand falls back to his side.

“what time is it?” he grumbles.

“quarter to twelve,” you respond, barring a quick look at the analog clock that sat on his dresser. 

he harrumphs, something of acknowledgement. you didn’t think he’d be this grumpy waking up but you don't mind, it's awfully cute.

“it’s so bright,” he says, squeezing his eyes shut further, if possible. 

“your eyes are closed.”

“my retinas are burning,” he whines, throwing his arm over his eyes to shield him from the sunlight in a thespian flourish. 

“so dramatic,” you huff as you get up to close the curtains, the smile in your voice irrefutably evident. you peek out the window first, your car is still parked outside, you stayed the night!

when you sit back down on the bed, his head seeks you out, laying gently on your lap. you card a hand through his hair, the action seemingly appropriate. he lets out a hum, satisfied.

“do you remember much from last night?” you ask, trying to come off casual, the question is loaded to say the least. plus, you don't know if alcohol affects an eidetic memory the same way. maybe he remembers everything, like always.

“no,” he says with a little shrug. “well, i remember going to the bar and morgan spilling a shot on his shirt but that's it.”

oh. so not that differently.

“well, i'm sure he’ll appreciate you remembering that,” you chuckle, ruffling his hair. with a long sigh, you decide to not bring it up. it’ll come back to him, surely. you’ll wait for him to come to you about it. 

you lift his head off your lap and let him sink back into the pillows. “how about you freshen up and i’ll make you some toast?”

his eyes peek open, barely. “yes please,” he replies meekly, a small smile in tow.

-

you put slices of bread into the toaster on his counter, leaning against it as you wait. what happens if he doesn't remember? will you tell him? how do you even bring that up?

hey spencer! last night you told me you love me. do you?

the loud spring of the toaster startles you back to the moment. behind his bedroom door, you can hear the faint sound of his shower running and you remember you’re still in his clothes. god, you're gonna have to wear yesterday's clothes back home. you mindlessly take the hot toast out and set it on a plate, wincing when you hold them for too long. you put 2 more slices of bread in, for you of course. 

you decide to make some eggs too, pulling the carton out of the fridge and getting a pan from beside his sink. you move with surprising ease through his kitchen, like you’d been there before. you haven't, but again, it's so easy with spencer, it apparently extends to his home too. you hum absentmindedly, cracking an egg into a bowl and beating it with a fork. you don’t know it yet but spencer's watching you, having finished his shower.

-

it all comes back to him slowly, as he puts on a new change of clothes, skin still a little damp.

asking penelope for a drink, drinking it, thinking, thinking about you, you showing up? maybe he was magic. you sitting with him, talking to him, taking him home. he remembers stumbling up the stairs, his arm thrown haphazardly over your shoulders and yours hooked around his waist.

“you're so nice, y’know?” 

“yeah? you won't think so tomorrow morning.”

you tucked him in, stayed when he asked you to. you told him about your breakup and he told you, oh, he told you he loved you.

shit. 

he has to make this right. he's quick to feed his arm into the last sleeve and walk out of his room. however, he stops when he sees you. swaying lightly, humming a tune he recognises from last night, standing there in his clothes. he thinks he might die. clearly, he wasn’t paying much at all when he woke up earlier. damn headache. 

-

“i told you i loved you.”

your head snaps in his direction, unaware of his presence. you jump a little before calming. “yeah... you did,” you confirm, trying to keep your tone light. it wasn't a question but you still answer. he remembers.

“and you told me to tell you again when i wake up,” he recalls.

you chuckle quietly, “i didn't realise you heard that.”

“i did.”

you nod, slowly, expectantly, for him to say something else, anything else. 

“i love you.” there it is.

“you mean that?” your voice comes out way smaller than you intended. he still hasn't moved.

“of course i do,” he says with a sigh, inching his way closer. you look like you're going to spook.

“okay,” you breathe, looking down at your fingers, you begin to ramble. “it's just, last night- you were drunk and sleepy and well, tired and i didnt know if you were being honest or just saying it on whim.” 

he's suddenly in front of you and you can't look at him. he's fine with that, it makes it slightly easier.

“hey, i mean it. i love you. i’m sorry i said it how i did, it wasn't fair. and you don't have to say anything back, i just- want you to know.”

you look up at him now, eyes searching, and when you find sincerity in his eyes, you soften, muttering out a quiet “okay.” your lips twist to the side, trying not to smile, but glee fills out every nook and cranny of your body. he takes this as a good sign and lets out the breath he didn't realise he was holding, smiling back at you.

“so,” you start, seemingly casual. “how do you take your eggs?”

spencer laughs, amused by your change in topic. he nods toward the bowl of already beaten eggs, “scrambled.”

you nod, firmly. you pick up the bowl and move to the stovetop, but not before grabbing his fingers with your free hand and pulling him with you. 

your thumb glides along the curve of his forefinger as you hold it between your bodies, waiting for the pan to heat up. you’re biting your lip so much, you think you might draw blood. you’re unbearably happy. and you think you’re doing a good job of hiding it but you’re not. spencer can see the way you giddily twitch by his side, opting on not saying anything about it as he smiles softly.

“you love me,” you tease, singsong, dragging out the ‘love’. your head leans against his shoulder. 

“mhm,” he confirms. ”you’re never gonna let me live this down, huh?”

“nope,” you chirp, pressing a chaste kiss to his shirt.

reblogs and replies are appreciated | m.list

[plasticflowersinahistorycemetery]

"what use is a halo when it slips so easy?"

part III

Pairing: Soldier Boy x Angel!Reader

Summary: You're falling deeper and deeper under Ben's spell, and he's feeling pretty smug about it.

Warnings: 18+!, Soldier Boy is a warning, language, corruption, religious reference, manipulation, innocence, drug use, smut (dirty talk, clitoral stimulation, handjob, corruption kink, praise kink), I may have missed some.

Word Count: 4,650

It was supposed to be a briefing.

Some new mission. Some Vought op. Butcher was going on about coordinates and black sites and asset retrieval like he wasn't just a twitch away from losing another man to friendly fire.

Ben didn't give a shit.

He was leaning back in his chair, legs spread, blunt between two fingers—fat, burning slow, sweet smoke curling up toward the ceiling like incense from some unholy altar.

He was barely listening.

Because you were in the room. Sitting across from him, quiet, hands folded in your lap, head tilted just slightly as you watched Butcher with that thoughtful little crease between your brows—like every word meant something. Like you were trying to understand, trying to be good.

And fuck, didn't that just make him ache.

You were still all soft lines and silence. Still sweet. Still innocent. But he knew now—he knew. You'd come in his lap like your body had never done it before.

Because it hadn't.

You'd glowed for him. Had moaned and gasped and trembled with your hands fisted in his shirt, eyes wide like the heavens were falling. You'd shaken, and then collapsed against him like he was the only thing left tethering you to the earth.

He hadn't touched himself. Hadn't even asked for more.

But God, he'd wanted to.

Especially later—when your hands had been on his chest, glowing, healing, soaking him in that light—and he'd been grinding up into you like a fucking animal, desperate to come, aching with it.

But he hadn't pushed. Not all the way. Because this? This slow unraveling? This was better. You didn't even realise he was pulling you down. Thought you were still holy. Still intact. And yeah, you were glowing on the outside, but your thighs had squeezed when he praised you. You'd gasped when he whispered what he wanted. You'd shuddered when he told you next time, you wouldn't come alone.

Ben brought the blunt to his lips, dragged in deep. Smoke curled out between his teeth as he looked at you again.

You were sitting so still. Listening so hard. Like you had something to prove. Like you thought being good meant being quiet and useful and pure.

He smirked. Because he knew now—he was already in you. Not just in your head. Not yet in your body. But in the cracks. In the part of you that ached and didn't know why. In the questions you'd start asking. In the flush you'd feel next time his voice dropped.

He could take you whenever he wanted.

But that wasn't the game. The game was watching you come to him. Wanting it. Needing it. Begging for it. He'd get you there. You were already halfway down.

The van pulled away in a cough of dust and engine growl, Butcher's voice still echoing from the radio long after it cut out.

Ben stood at the doorway, blunt between his fingers, eyes shaded under low brows as he watched the others disappear down the dirt road. Gone. Finally.

And that left just the two of you.

He exhaled smoke through his nose and stepped back inside.

The safehouse was quiet now. Still. Just the low hum of the old fridge and the tick of a shitty analog clock on the wall. Dust danced in the air where the light poured in from the blinds.

And you—you were sitting on the floor in front of the busted little TV like it was Saturday morning and none of this was real. Legs crossed. Shoulders relaxed. Fingernails slowly peeling the skin from an orange with careful precision. Like you didn't know he was still starving.

Ben moved. Slow. Deliberate. Circling the room like a wolf just released from the leash.

You didn't even look up. Didn't flinch. Just popped a slice of orange into your mouth, blinking at the flickering static on the screen like it was fascinating.

God, you were unreal.

All that purity. All that calm. Like the other night hadn't happened. Like you hadn't come apart in his lap, glowing, moaning, whimpering like it was the end of the world. Like you hadn't healed him after, touching him with those sweet little hands while his cock throbbed between your thighs.

Ben licked his bottom lip. Took another drag. And started circling closer.

"So," he said, voice low and loose, "you always eat oranges like that, or is it just around me?"

You blinked up at him. Confused. Innocent.

"Like what?"

Ben chuckled. Rounded behind you, smoke trailing in his wake.

"All slow and careful. Like you're peelin' fuckin' gold."

You tilted your head. "I just like the smell."

He huffed a soft laugh. Sat down on the couch behind you, leaning forward, forearms on his knees. Watching you.

"So that's it, huh?" He asked. "Everyone's out risking their asses, and we're stuck here like a coupla china dolls."

You nodded, another slice slipping between your lips. "They said I'm too valuable."

Ben raised a brow. "Yeah," he muttered. "They got that right."

You didn't catch the tone. Didn't see the way his eyes dropped to your thighs—soft and bare and pressed together as you sat cross-legged, oblivious to the way you made him ache.

He let the silence stretch. Then:

"You think about it?"

You glanced over your shoulder. "About what?"

He leaned back, lazy. Loose. Smirking.

"Other night."

You went still. Just for a second. Your fingers paused on the peel.

Ben grinned.

"'Cause I been thinkin' about it," he said. "You. In my lap. Soundin' like heaven forgot your fuckin' name."

Your face flushed instantly. Colour bloomed high on your cheeks, your glow flickering faintly behind your head. But you didn't answer. You just looked down, fingers tightening on the peel.

And Ben? Ben fucking thrived on it.

You shifted. Just a little pivot at first, like the couch behind you had caught your spine wrong—but then you turned fully. Legs still folded, orange still in your hand, but now your back was to the TV. Facing him.

And fuck, did that do something to him.

You looked up at him like you were studying something holy. Like the way his thighs spread wide across the couch deserved your full attention.

He was rolling another blunt. Heavy fingers working slow and lazy, licking the edge of the wrap, eyes flicking down to the grinder, then back to you—because he could feel your gaze on him like a second sun.

You were watching him with interest. Genuine curiosity. Like what he was doing mattered.

Ben bit back a grin.

"You ever smoked?" He asked, not looking at you this time. Just letting the question hang in the air while he pinched the wrap closed.

You shook your head. "No." Simple. Soft. Honest.

He looked up then. Met your eyes. And the way you blinked back at him—like the word smoked was heavier than it should be—made his pulse kick.

"You wanna try it?" He asked, slow and smooth, licking the paper again before sealing it shut with a flick of his thumb.

You hesitated. Fingers still sticky from the orange, the peel scattered like little curls of light in your lap.

"What's it like?" You asked.

And fuck.

Ben had to glance away. Had to breathe through the smile threatening to split his face. Because that tone, that voice—like you were asking about communion or prayer or some hidden sacrament? That was everything.

He leaned forward, forearms braced on his thighs.

"It's good," he said. "Warm. Slow. Makes your head float a little." He paused, then dropped his voice a notch. "Makes your body feel real nice too."

You stared at him, lips parted just slightly. And he could see it—the twitch in your thighs, the faint flutter behind your head, the way your fingers trembled around another slice of orange.

"C'mere," he said, patting the space between his legs. "I'll show you how to roll."

You blinked. And then? You obeyed. You gathered your peel, your fruit, your glow, and moved forward on your knees—settling back down right between his legs, cross-legged, your back pressed to the bottom of the sofa.

Ben bracketed you there. His thighs wide, his knees hugging your sides like a cage made of heat and sweatpants and muscle. You were right where he wanted you. He leaned over you, slow, reaching down with one hand to guide your fingers to the grinder, the wrap, the bud. His chest pressed lightly to your back. His breath brushed your ear.

"First you break it up," he murmured. "Not too fine. You want it fluffy."

You nodded, gaze locked on the bud between your fingers, trying to do it right. Ben watched. Watched the way your brow furrowed. Watched your tongue peek out just a little in concentration.

"You're doin' good," he said softly. "Real good."

You glanced back at him—just a flick of your eyes—and then returned to your task.

He bit his cheek to keep from groaning. Fuck, he loved teaching you. You didn't even know how much of you he'd already claimed. And now? Now he was gonna teach you how to sin one breath at a time.

Your fingers trembled slightly as you broke apart the bud between your thumbs—soft, sticky, unfamiliar. It didn't feel like anything sacred. Not sharp like holy relics or clinical like lab instruments. It was warm. Earthy. Crumbling between your fingertips like something grown wild.

Ben's knees pressed gently against your sides as he bracketed you on the floor, the heat of his body bleeding through your back where he leaned in—his forearms draped over his thighs, blunt tucked between his lips like it belonged there.

"Not too fine," he murmured, voice thick with smoke and something darker. "Want it loose. Like you're lettin' it breathe."

You nodded, your hair brushing his chin as you concentrated.

His chest met your spine then—slow and deliberate—and he didn't pull away. Just settled there behind you like it was nothing, like his breath against your ear wasn't making your skin feel too tight.

"That's it," he whispered. "Perfect."

He reached around you, guiding your hands toward the wrap paper—his fingers curling over yours, warm and callused, anchoring you in place. Your glow flickered, soft but steady, tracing the outline of his skin as if it couldn't help it.

"Now hold it like this," he said, his lips grazing the shell of your ear. "Real gentle. Like you're foldin' a prayer."

You did. Your breath shallow. He stayed there, mouth too close, his voice slipping through you like heat pooling in a hollow you didn't have words for.

"Now you tuck," he said, dragging your fingers in place, showing you how to shape it, how to seal the roll. "Soft. Confident. Don't press too hard. You'll crack it."

You licked your lips. The paper sat heavy in your palm. Waiting. And then his hand moved again—guiding yours to the edge, fingers coiling around your wrist.

"You're gonna lick it now," he said.

You blinked.

"I—I am?"

"Mhm." His voice was quieter now. Thicker. "Just a little. Run your tongue along the edge. Slow."

You raised it carefully, your tongue flicking out to taste the faint, sweet bitterness of the glue. It wasn't anything special. But Ben's hand was still wrapped around yours, steadying it. His breath deepened.

"Just like that," he rasped. "Real fuckin' slow."

Your tongue moved again. You felt his fingers twitch.

"You got no idea how good that looks, do you?" He said, more to himself than to you. "Goddamn."

You flushed—deep and warm and all the way down. You didn't understand why. Not exactly. But something shifted. Coiled low in your stomach. Buzzed like static behind your ribs. You swallowed and tried to keep going, tried to pretend your thighs weren't tightening again. That your breathing wasn't shallow. That your hand wasn't shaking a little more.

But Ben saw it. He always saw it.

"You feelin' it again?" He murmured. "That little ache right in your pussy?"

Your hand paused. You blinked down at your lap.

"I... I think so."

He hummed. Pressed closer. His voice brushed your skin like velvet gone wicked.

"Means you're doin' it right," he said. "Means you're learnin'."

You looked back at him then—wide-eyed, lashes fluttering—and something in your expression made him smirk. Not cruel. Not cocky. Just knowing. Because some of it was still going over your head. You didn't fully grasp what he was doing. Not yet.

But some of it? Some of it you felt. And that was all he needed.

He let go of your hand and leaned back slightly, his chest still against your spine, letting you hold the half-rolled blunt like it was something precious.

"Go on, angel," he said, voice soft but slick. "Finish what you started."

You finished rolling it with slow, careful fingers, your tongue darting out one last time to smooth the edge like you were sealing a secret.

Ben didn't move. Didn't breathe. He just watched you turn—just slightly—glow catching the edge of your shoulder, and hold up the blunt to him with the sweetest little smile. Proud. Soft. Earnest. Like you thought you were helping. Like you'd just done something good.

And God help him—his cock fucking twitched. Hard. Hot. Heavy against the inside of his sweats where he was already aching. Because you didn't get it. Didn't know what it meant to sit between his legs, cross-legged and barefoot, glow humming soft and steady, holding out a freshly rolled joint like a girl offering a prayer.

You looked proud to please him. And it was drugs. It was sin. It was his.

He dragged his tongue over his bottom lip and took it from your hand with exaggerated slowness, letting his fingers brush yours.

"Good girl," he said.

And you lit up like the words went straight through you. You flushed. Shifted a little. Your thighs pressed tighter.

He leaned in—smoke on his breath—and said, "Light it up."

You blinked. Shook your head.

"I don't know how."

Ben smiled. It wasn't kind. It was hungry. Then—without a word—he reached down and took your hand in his, slow and sure. Your fingers still smelled like citrus and weed. The blunt balanced in his other hand, waiting.

He stood, pulling you with him. You gasped softly as your orange slipped from your lap, forgotten, peel scattering across the floor. He didn't care. Didn't look. Just lifted you gently, turning, settling himself back onto the couch—and you into his lap, your back against his chest, your legs draped across his spread thighs like you were meant to sit there.

He wrapped one arm around your waist. Held you still. Pressed the blunt to your fingers again.

"You did so good for me," he murmured. "Look at you. Rollin' for your man now."

You shifted in his lap, nervous. Embarrassed. But your thighs squeezed again. Ben noticed. He nuzzled against your temple, breath hot in your hair.

"You feel that again?" He whispered. "That little throb? That ache between your legs?"

You whimpered. Soft. And real.

"I—I don't know why it won't stop."

His grip tightened.

"You want me to fix it?" He rasped.

You nodded. Fast. Breathless.

"Yeah?" He said, mouth brushing your jaw now. "You want me to take care of it, angel?"

"Yes," you whispered.

But it wasn't enough. Not for him. Ben exhaled against your skin, his voice dropping into a growl laced with reverence and rot.

"Then ask."

You blinked.

"I—I did."

"No," he said, dragging his nose along your cheek. "You nodded. That's not the same."

You swallowed hard. "I want—" You faltered. "I want you to fix it."

"Fix what?" He pushed, cock grinding up beneath you now, slow and rhythmic. "Say it. What do you want from me?"

Your head dropped slightly, glow flickering hard behind you.

"I want you," you whispered. "I want you to make it stop."

"Make what stop?"

You squirmed. And Ben held you still.

"C'mon, baby," he murmured. "Be brave now. You were so good earlier. You can do this."

Your breath caught.

"The ache," you said. "The ache between my legs. Please."

God.

Ben groaned, hips twitching beneath you. You felt it. You felt how hard he was now. And still—you stayed in his lap. You let him hold you there.

"Please," you said again, smaller now. "Ben. Please fix it."

His name on your lips broke something in him. He didn't even realise he'd started rocking until you gasped—soft, startled, but not afraid. He held you tighter.

"Fuck," he breathed. "You have no idea what you just did."

You didn't even flinch when he touched you. When his hand slid beneath Frenchie's shirt—his shirt now, let's be honest—and found those sweet little panties clinging damp to your cunt, you didn't pull away. You just gasped. Quiet. Broken. Fragile in a way that made Ben's chest throb harder than his cock.

White cotton. Soft. A satin bow dead centre like a target.

Like you were made for this. For him.

"You really don't know what you're doin' to me, do you," he rasped, his palm dragging up the soft inside of your thigh, slow and reverent, until his thumb rested right beneath that little bow. "Sittin' here, glowin' like salvation, beggin' me to touch you."

You turned your face into his shoulder, hiding from the sound of your own need. But it didn't matter. He could feel it.

"I didn't know it would feel like this," you whispered. "I didn't think it would keep coming back."

Ben let out a low, wrecked breath. His cock throbbed beneath you, untouched, aching as he cupped your cunt with the flat of his hand—over the fabric. He didn't pull your panties aside. Didn't need to.

Not yet. You were already soaked. Already his. He pressed harder, slow and firm, and you cried out—a soft, cracked little sound that made his fucking eyes roll back.

"That's it," he murmured, lips brushing your temple. "You're not broken, baby. You're just wet. Just needy."

You whimpered again. Your fingers clutched at his thighs, nails digging through the fabric of his sweats like you didn't know what else to hold on to.

He started to move his hand. Gentle circles. Right over your clit. Right through the soaked cotton. Steady. Filthy. Calculated. And your whole body went taut, your back arching just enough to grind against his palm.

"You feel that?" He whispered. "That's me takin' care of it. Just like you asked me to."

You nodded, desperate now, thighs squeezing around his wrist.

"I think it's happening again," you gasped. "That—feeling."

Ben groaned into your hair.

"Yeah it is," he said, voice low and sharp. "You're close. I can feel it. That little glow startin' to flicker."

And fuck—he was right. Your halo stuttered behind you like a lightbulb dying. Your hips twitched. Your breath hitched. And then you broke. You came in his lap, shaking and glowing, your little cotton panties clinging to you like second skin, your body pulsing in his arms as you moaned into his throat.

Ben didn't stop rubbing. He held you through it, crooning low praise into your ear while your body trembled and your glow sputtered and surged like it didn't know whether to bless or burn.

"That's it," he breathed. "That's my good fuckin' girl. So goddamn perfect for me."

You whimpered. Soft and ruined and confused.

Ben dragged his nose along your jaw.

"I'm gonna keep doin' this," he whispered, "till you glow every time I fuckin' touch you."

You were still trembling in his lap. Halo flickering low. Your thighs twitching, chest rising and falling like you were still chasing air that wouldn't quite fill your lungs.

And Ben? He hadn't moved.

His hand was still between your legs, still cupping that soaked cotton like it was something sacred. His fingers worked soft, slow circles against the swollen heat he could feel even through the fabric—drawing it out, coaxing every last twitch and whimper from your overworked nerves.

You shifted. Turned in his lap to face him, knees bracketing his hips. A knee nudging closer. A breath caught in your throat. A subtle arch of your hips as you tried to ease away from the phantom touch, sensitive now, trembling from the comedown.

But that movement? That movement dragged your body right over his cock. And fuck. His whole body jerked.

The sound he made—sharp, raw—was half a groan, half a growl, bitten off like it physically hurt. Because it did.

You froze. Lifted your head just enough to look up at him, wide-eyed and glowing in the throat of your own wreckage.

"Ben," you whispered. "Does it hurt again?"

Your voice was soft. Gentle. Wounded with concern. He swallowed hard, jaw tight. You placed your palm to his chest, right over his heart—glowing faintly as your grace stirred back to life. Ready to fix him. Ready to soothe.

He closed his eyes for a second. Let himself feel the warmth of your hand. Let himself imagine what he was about to do.

"Yeah," he rasped. "Yeah, angel. It hurts."

Your glow flared a little brighter.

"Where?"

He opened his eyes. Met yours. And moved your hand lower. Slow. Gentle. Reverent. He guided it down, over the ridges of his abdomen—firm, flushed hot through the thin cotton of his tee. Then lower, to the waistband of his sweats. And lower still, until your palm settled over the thick, pulsing heat straining beneath the fabric.

Your fingers curled slightly in surprise. You gasped.

And Ben shuddered.

"Right there," he breathed. "That's where it hurts."

Your mouth parted. Your hand trembled slightly over the hard length beneath his pants. He was hot. Huge. Throbbing. And you didn't pull away. You looked up at him instead, blinking slow, your halo humming behind your head like a question no one had the answer to.

"I can take care of it," he said, voice rough with restraint, "but I know you, sweetheart. You always wanna help."

You stared at him. Then—softly, hesitantly:

"What can I do to make it better?"

Ben nearly came from the sound of that. Your voice. Your hand. The sincerity. You weren't teasing him. You weren't flirting. You weren't playing some game. You were offering. Because you didn't know what it meant.

And that was what made it so fucking holy.

His breath came heavy now, slow and deep as he leaned in, forehead nearly resting against yours.

"You really wanna help me, angel?" He whispered, eyes dark, his cock twitching beneath your touch.

You nodded. Fingers shifting slightly over the heat in his sweats.

"I'll tell you what to do," he murmured. "Nice and slow. You just listen, yeah? Let me teach you."

You nodded again, breathless now.

Ben kissed your cheek. Then your jaw. Then the corner of your mouth. And whispered:

"Time to start learnin' how to take care of me, baby."

You didn't pull away. You didn't look afraid. You just kept your hand there—palm warm, trembling over the thick line of his cock where it strained beneath the soft cotton of his sweats. Your glow pulsed low. Like a question. Like a prayer trying to rewrite itself.

And then?

You moved. Just a little. Your fingers shifted. Curled. Pressed down gently, tracing the shape of him through the fabric like you were trying to understand something holy. Like you were trying to learn.

Ben swore under his breath. His hips twitched beneath you.

"Shit, baby."

You looked up. Startled. Curious.

"Am I doing it wrong?"

His chest cracked open at the sound of your voice. Soft. Earnest. Like you thought this was some sacred duty, and you just wanted to do it right.

He shook his head, breath shallow.

"No. Fuck, no. You're doin' perfect."

You blinked slowly, lashes brushing your cheeks, eyes wide as you looked back down to where your hand still rested over him.

Ben exhaled rough through his nose. His cock pulsed.

"You wanna really help?" He asked, voice thick, gravel-smoked and reverent.

You nodded.

He caught your hand again. Guided it lower, fingers curling over yours until your palm pressed firm to the wet, leaking shape of him beneath his sweats.

"Start by pullin' it out for me."

Your lips parted.

"Pull... it out?"

"Mhm," he murmured. "Go on. It's okay."

You hesitated. Then your fingers slid to the waistband. Careful. Hesitant. Your knuckles brushed the bare skin of his stomach as you eased the fabric down. He helped you. Lifted his hips slightly. And then—you saw it.

Him.

Thick and flushed and already slick with need, his cock curved heavy against his thigh, veins prominent, the head wet and weeping, his breath ragged now, his hands white-knuckled at your hips like he couldn't believe you were doing this.

Your eyes went wide. You stared. Not in fear. Just... in awe.

Ben groaned.

"You see what you do to me?" He said, voice cracking. "Look at that, baby. Look how hard I get just from touchin' you."

You reached out. And you held it. Fingers wrapping around him, awkward and soft, like you weren't sure how much pressure to use. Like you were afraid you might break something divine.

His breath left him in a stuttered exhale. "Fuck."

You looked up, halo flickering faint behind your head.

"Is... this okay?"

Ben almost laughed. Almost came right then. "You have no idea how good that feels," he rasped. "How fuckin' perfect you look like this."

Your hand moved. Tentative strokes. Gentle. Inconsistent. But you were trying, you were learning. And he couldn't take his eyes off you. Your face. The way your lips parted in focus. The way your cheeks flushed. The way your lashes fluttered as you looked back down at him with that soft little furrow in your brow—like you were still trying to memorise him.

Like he was sacred.

"Look at me," he said, voice low and shaking. "Keep lookin' at me while you do it."

You obeyed. Your hand never stopped.

And God help him—he swore he could see his corruption sinking into you now, threading through every breath, every stroke, every flicker of that trembling halo behind your head. You, sitting in his lap in Frenchie's shirt, thighs bare, glow soft, mouth parted—stroking him like he was something worth saving.

This wasn't a blowjob. This wasn't porn. This wasn't a tease.

This was a fucking ritual.

And Ben didn't know how much longer he could last, because your hand moved in slow, careful strokes, wrapped around the thick length of his cock like it might break if you weren't gentle.

Ben's head dropped back.

He groaned—loud and wrecked—his hips twitching beneath you as precum spilled hot and heavy over your knuckles. His eyes were glazed. His breath came in ragged pulls.

And fuck, you were still looking up at him. Glowing. Innocent. Curious. Concerned. Like you were still helping. Like this wasn't corruption. Like this wasn't worship. He felt the pressure building. Tight and feral and close—so fucking close.

And you kept going. Soft little strokes with your small, warm hand. Your breath hitched every time his cock pulsed. Your glow flickered, trembling, and you bit your lip like you didn't understand why it felt so right to do this. To please him. To hold something sacred and make it throb.

Ben's jaw locked.

His hands gripped your hips—tight, too tight—and he felt it swell, rising like a wave that was about to crash—

"Fuck—" he hissed, voice cracking.

And then he did the hardest thing he'd done in his entire fucked-up life. He reached down, wrapped his fingers around your wrist, and stopped you.

Your hand stilled. Your glow dimmed. You looked up, eyes wide, brows pulled in, lips parted like you were trying to understand why.

"Did I... do something wrong?"

Shit.

Ben felt the whole thing stall in his gut—cock twitching, breath caught, a pulse of need so sharp it bordered on pain.

That look. That look. Sad. Hurt. Glowing like grace could still save him.

He grit his teeth. Groaned. Forced the words through clenched breath. "No, baby," he said. "No. You didn't do anythin' wrong."

You blinked up at him. Then looked down at your hand—still wrapped around him, warm and wet and so fucking perfect—and your glow dimmed just a little more.

Ben reached for your cheek. Held it in his palm and tilted your face back up.

"It's not 'cause you messed up," he rasped. "It's 'cause I want it, sweetheart."

He leaned in. Nose brushing yours. Voice low. Filthy.

"I want the first time I come to be in your fuckin' mouth."

You gasped. Small. Shaky. Your hand twitched against him. And he groaned again. Forced himself to breathe through it.

"Or inside you," he whispered. "Deep. Messy. Glowin' like a fuckin' altar while I fuck you full."

You blinked—still confused. Still glowing. But now you were shaking too.

And Ben? He smiled. Dark. Gentle. A little unhinged. He leaned in, kissed your cheek—slow and reverent—and whispered against your skin:

"You start beggin' for it, angel? I'll give you every drop I got."

Then he let go of your hand. And looked at you—halo flickering, fingers slick with him, panties damp and forgotten beneath Frenchie's shirt—still holding his cock like it meant something.

Like you were starting to understand.

a/n: GOD DAMN IT. I love this series. Part four is written already. I'm almost done with part five... I'm gonna level with y'all now: I don't think five parts is enough. We'll see if I can wrap it up in five but... it's looking like I'll need more if I wanna get everything I'm envisioning written. I hope y'all like it! Please let me know! All the fuckin' love.

Soldier Boy/Ben taglist: @mostlymarvelgirl @losers-clvb @bejeweledinterludes @soldiersgirl @lunaleah. @itshellfire @drakulana @sl33pylilbunny @suckitands33 @nevercameraready @0ccvltism @bittersweetfig @lyarr24 @podiumackles @spxideyver @tinas111 @ohgodimgoungtodie @paristheonewhoreads @winchestersbgirl @blossomingorchids @sacr1ficialang3l @kaz-2y5-spn @agoodgirlsguidetomakingmencry @bohoooitsme @lanasgirlfr @justatinybud @bitchykittenconnoisseur <3

[greyyson-but-wrong]

ALIBIS

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

warning: the winter solider, canon accurate civil war, violence, fighting, swearing, a single sentence hinting that they've fucked in the past lmao, hydra mention, partly edited

summary: you've been living with bucky for the past year, now he's been accused of assassinating the king of wakanda and of course they bring you in as well, but nobody knows who exactly you are

author notes: guys... this isn't a part 2 I actually have no motivation to write that atm icl so have this instead. I'm being so fr I could change one detail about this and have it be part of the same storyline as my previous work but I cba cause then there'll be a bunch of missing context :( hope you enjoy this!!!

word count: 4.6K

"Who the hell is that?"

Tony Stark didn't recognise the woman as he took a peak through the glass of the cell, index finger pointed towards her before moved backward to pinch at his lips. She was perched on the edge of the small bench they had given her, book in hand, leaning forward with her elbows resting against the skin of her thighs. For having just been arrested under the suspicion of harbouring a fugitive, the woman didn't seem too worried, too off-put or irked. She just simply sat there, breathing steady. At the change in scenery outside her window, she looked up only temporarily, the corners of her lips curving upward at the sight of the Iron Man, fingers leaving the paper of her book to wag her fingers in a wave. Tony's eyebrows furrowed at her actions. Suspicious. That's all she was.

Steve moved his eyes from the woman to look towards Tony, hands dug in his pockets, fiddling with the spare lint caught off the inside fabric. "She, is his alibi."

"Come again?"

The solider tilted his head, watching the woman as she went back to innocently reading her book, still as if she wasn't currently in a holding cell under the detainment of the American government. "She's been giving him a home for a year now, feeding him, keeping him stable, stopping him from becoming the Winter Solider."

Tony sighed, lowering his voice. "So why won't she testify again him?"

Steve eyed up the security camera in the corner of the room. It was no doubt someone was watching him on the other side, because while he was an Avenger and allowed somewhat free roaming around the premises, he was still technically a criminal now. They had to have all eyes on him. He had to keep all eyes on her though. "She knows that the government doesn't officially acknowledge the difference between the Winter Solider and Bucky as a person. Until they do that, she's refusing to tell us anything. That includes information about who she is."

"Well, she must have a name."

"She's told us Jane Doe, but, well. We're not stupid." Steve chuckles, shaking his head. "Someone, somewhere has her file, I won't be able to get it for you, though."

Tony Stark shrugs. "I'll get FRIDAY to gather the information about her, for me." He pauses for a second, letting his thoughts gather, letting everything come together in some form. He fiddles with his phone a little, before shoving it back into his pocket, turning to Steve again. "The question is, why is she so protective of him?"

Steve lets out a heavy sigh, eyes moving to watch her. "If only she would tell us."

The glass was soundproof. You knew, because several different groups of people had walked past the locked cell, mouths moving, faces reacting, but you could hear none of it. They had given you a random book to read to pass the time, but you were already about halfway through it and it had only been two hours, by the analog clock that was built into the left wall. The list of people that had walked past ran through in your head in the following order: Maria Hill, Fred the Janitor (he had a mop, so you assumed), a group of lawyers, the Black Widow, Fred the Janitor (again), Agent Ross as part of the CIA, a group of guards who were surrounding T'Challa (who you had made the worst kind of direct eye contact with), a couple more lawyers, then the cherry atop the cake: Captain America and Iron Man. Steve Rogers and Tony Stark.

It was obvious it was them because well, fuck, who wouldn't have known it was them? They were Avengers, they had saved the world countless times. They were also the reason Bucky had to run and hide with you, rather than in a much safer Witness Protection programme. They were also the reason you were trapped in this holding cell, because Captain America had led the Romanian police force directly to the apartment you had Bucky had been peacefully living in for a year.

The peace died pretty quickly when you had walked into your kitchen to find Steve Rogers standing there, shield in hand, looking at the photo of you and Bucky stuck to the fridge.

They had asked for your name. They had asked for your identification and your history. Perhaps a couple years ago you would have told them, but then all that information was revealed about Shield and Hydra, and now there was no way on God's Holy Earth would you ever trust them nor any government body again. After what Bucky had gone through, after what you had gone through, how could they have led Hydra infiltrate Shield like that? Black Widow thought that the encrypted versions of the files would mean the general public wouldn't be able to gain the information.

But you had been trained by Hydra. You weren't their brawn, you were their brains, so if anyone was going to be able to decrypt that information, it would have been you. When you spent hours scouring through the endless files to find out information about his life, that had been the day you had decided to never trust a government body.

So, no, you weren't going to tell them your name. Then they would look you up. They would find out that you used to work for Hydra and just like they were treating Bucky, they wouldn't understand you had been brainwashed and tricked and tortured to work for them. They would treat you like any other Hydra worker who knew what they had been doing; even though you didn't.

Now you were stuck in this cell, Bucky was nowhere to be seen and therefore probably in some containment centre to stop him from hurting anybody even though he wasn't the Winter Solider anymore. Even though he hadn't become the Winter Solider in months, thanks to the work you had been doing with him. What were you supposed to do? Anything you could talk about or tell anyone, they wouldn't believe it. To them, Bucky was a weapon, something that could hurt and couldn't love, but he did love. He had humour, he had a laugh, a smile, he stops in the middle of the street to stroke stray cats, he gets all soppy at cozy rom-coms and he spends his evenings listening to old Sinatra records.

But they would never see that.

Then Captain America and Iron Man walked in front of the glass. You couldn't help but grin, waving your fingers towards the billionaire. It was public knowledge that Tony Stark was on the side of signing the Accords and that Steve Rogers wasn't. It piqued your curiosity as to how they were able to have a real conversation while having such different beliefs, but that wasn't your main goal. You wanted to confuse them.

The name. Jane Doe, of course it was fake. You had told them it to be confusing, make it clear that you were more than just simply a safe house holder for the Winter Solider. What it would do was bring up all the attention towards you. The Avengers, the CIA, the FBI, whoever was in charge here would spend their time figuring out who the hell you were and why you had been so involved in Bucky's life in the past year. To cause a bit of a ruckus, and a lot of confusion.

Because while they would be doing all of that, Bucky's trial would be put off longer and longer, until your people could prove that the Winter Solider was not the same person as Bucky. You were refusing to talk not just because they didn't understand that simply fact, but you also needed time to gather enough evidence that it would be impossible to dismiss the truth. You were not the Huntress that Hydra had turned you into, and Bucky was not the Winter Solider they had tortured him into becoming. Once they understood that, maybe, just maybe, you had a chance of getting out of here with Bucky and living free with him like you should have been doing for the past year.

Hydra had taught you well. Half of the data was already sat in your lab in Romania, proving that brain mechanics, movement, thoughts and procedures changed whenever he was under the throes of the Winter Solider. Pictures and files dating each time Hydra experimented their brainwashing technology on him. Images of the different machinery, some of them with him in it, some of you working at the nearest computer.

Your work from the past year had taken a lot out of you, but damn was it worth it. Once your people took a look at the final conclusions and sent through the final part of the plan, you and Bucky would be one step closer to freedom.

They bought you in for his evaluation. He was in a glass box, restrained at every possible part of his body, particularly the metal arm. His head was hung, hair falling not-so-graciously in front of his face, masking him. The image was projected onto a giant monitor towards the front of the room, where everyone could see what was happening. They still had you handcuffed, behind your back, something strong, perhaps vibranium so you couldn't get out no matter what. Four guards stood around you, stopping any possible escape plan. But none of them were even on the table unless you knew where to find Bucky and guarantees you got out with him by your side.

To the left of you and the guards stood Tony and Natasha, both on the side agreeing with the Accords. Behind a glass door was Steve and Sam. As his evaluator started speaking, your eyes began to droop. Nobody would take this serious, or how they should.

"Hello, Mr Barnes." A Sokovian accent was the first thing you spotted. Nothing too out of the ordinary but it definitely piqued some form of interest in you for a reason you hadn't yet been able to decipher. "I have been sent by the United Nations to evaluate you. Do you mind if I sit?" On the screen, he gestured to the chair and desk. When Bucky stayed silent, he sat down, opening up his briefcase that had been placed on the wood of the desk. "Your first name is James?"

Bucky stayed silent again. You knew this would be difficult, and everyone else in the room was beginning to catch onto that point as well.

"Do you know where you are, James?" Again silence. The examinations officer sighed. "I can't help you if you don't talk to me, James."

A brief pause. Bucky lifted his head, revealing his face to the officer. He swallowed, lips parting to speak. "My name is Bucky."

In the other room, behind the glass, Steve and Sam, plus a woman that you didn't know the name of yet, started speaking. They all had that look on their face. Curiosity, suspicion, a tint of fear muddled in with the rest. Steve was fiddling with a piece of paper, could have been a photo, but it was difficult to see from the angle the guards had you at.

"Tell me, then, Bucky." He started speaking again, making notes in that little book of his. "You've seen a great deal, haven't you?"

Bucky's voice was strained as he spoke, eyes droopy, that fear, that pain having seeped it's way back into his features. The same state of mind that you and him had worked so hard to leave in the past. It was just being dug back up again, unmercifully. "I don't wanna talk about it."

He waved his hands about, barely visible through the screen projection. "You fear that if you open your mouth, the horrors might never stop." He was intentionally poking the bear.

A moment paused. The examinations officer looked down to the left of his notebook to a propped up screen, the camera to far away to read what was visible on the screen. "Don't worry. We only have to talk about one." Another second passed, then—

The lights went out.

The next couple moments were a blur. Agent Ross started pacing between different computers, Tony Stark went off to talk to his AI, Natasha had already left the room. Steve had stood up straight at the outage, looking towards the woman and immediately signalling at Sam to following him. Believe me, you tried to stay put, not let anything get any worse than it already was, but Steve clearly knew where Bucky was, and if what you thought was happening was happening, then they needed you. So you spotted as one of the guards slipped, moved out of space for a single second, distracted, and you bled into the shadows, melting away so that no one could follow you. Hydra didn't simply train you with hardware and software, after all.

You slipped through and into the glass room, then again through the door that Steve had just disappeared through. Once you were in a clear corridor with both Steve and Sam at the end of it, you began running after them, pausing for just a single second to use a door handle to break the handcuffs that were restraining you.

Because, of course, the examinations officer wasn't CIA, or FBI, or actually from the UN like he said he had been. You knew you recognised the book, the red leather front and that stupid fucking black star painted on it. Your own fucking writing was in it! How the hell this man had gotten a hold of it, you couldn't figure out, but that wasn't the priority. Right now, the Winter Solider was being summoned, and would be under the control of some random person, who was also probably at the fault of T'Chaka's death too. Only God knew what he was really planning, but Bucky would be at the heart of it and that was the one thing you aimed to stop.

Eventually, you caught up with Steve and Sam. It took them both a while to clock you were running behind them but neither of them cared enough about you in the moment to stop running because you all had the same goal: finding Bucky.

The three of you made it to the entrance of whichever room Bucky had been put into. Steve came to a halt at the seemingly endless pile of bodies on the floor. It was too late. He was already the Winter Solider and he had already hurt people.

Steve turned to you, chin held high. "How the hell did you get out?"

"Slipped away." You shrugged. Steve's lips parted as if to speak again, but you held a hand up, shaking your head. "But that's not what's important right now. Bucky has just become the Winter Solider again, and if we don't get to that man in order to save Bucky again, then we're all going to be in a lot of trouble and not just with the government this time."

He ran a hand over his face but nodded, turning back towards the doorway.

In the middle of the room, Zemo was curled into the floor, shaking. Steve didn't give you nor Sam any chance to do anything, running forward and picking him up, shoving him up against the desk, chin held high as he began to speak. You were so focused on Zemo, that you didn't notice Bucky standing in the corner of the room, shoulders dilating as he panted, fully reformed back into the Winter Solider. You also didn't see as he made a leap towards Steve, shoving him across the room at lightning speed.

At the sound of Steve crashing against the wall, you leaped too, in a way that left your hands rested on his shoulders, readying to pull off. All three of you had the serum, but they were still both men, and Bucky under the brainwashing programme gave him extra strength, no holding back. When his trapezius twitched and his jaw sharpened, you knew he was going to swing behind him, so you ducked, dodging his hand and using the temporary drop in his barriers to reach for his arm, curling it around his back.

His metal arm was still pressing against Steve, so with your hands still keeping his flesh arm behind his back, you leaped up and wrapped your legs around his waist, your other hand moving around him to cover his face. Confusion, distraction, anything that meant Steve could get himself out of the grasp Bucky had him in.

And while Steve did make it out, slipping from his grasp, Bucky caught on far too quickly. He was able to maneuver himself to make you fall, spinning on his feet and falling to his knees as your back hit the ground. He went for your hands, clasping them above your head so there was no way to get out. This position certainly wasn't unfamiliar, but every other time, you knew he would let you go at a signal. The Winter Solider would not listen to a signal. He climbed your body, eyes meeting yours straight forward.

They were pained. A familiar warmth that looked like home but only once you dug deep. On the surface was simply a message, follow the mission, the unfamiliar blue did scare you. The only thing that kept you going was the knowledge that Bucky was in there somewhere, no matter how much it didn't seem like it — Bucky was there. You'd get him out, or die trying.

"Bucky—" You gasped, gaping for breath, trying to get his attention. His, not the Winter Solider. "I know you're there. I know you can hear me."

He simply snarled, teeth bared. You lifted your head to look outside of his gaze, seeing Sam and Steve after Zemo, who had given in not so quickly. Looking back towards Bucky, you met the blue again, letting your head drop to the floor, letting your muscles relax, your breathing beginning to settle as you calmed. If you were calm, then so was he. If he was calm, then so were you. That was the deal. But that did nothing, if anything it worsened the situation, because he removed his metal hand from holding yours, still able to keep you bound with just one, and moved the metal so that it was pressed up against your neck.

Not pushing, not squeezing; just settled. Acting as a warning, to make sure you didn't try anything.

"Your name is James Buchanan Barnes but— everyone calls you Bucky and you can't remember why." You speak, more wary of your breathing than you ever have been before. A quick glance downward, then back up to meet his eyes. "Your favourite singer is Frank Sinatra, but you think musically, Nancy Sinatra did better work. You—" You gasped for air as his fingers twitched around your neck, your words beginning to break through. "There's a cat, you call her Alpine, that always stops at our window and you shouldn't feed her— because she's not our cat, but— you do any way— because you're secretly a softie."

Bucky blinks. Bucky blinks. Not the Winter Solider. The warmth slowly flows towards the front of the blue, that familiarity coming back.

But that's what Steve didn't see. Steve handed Zemo over to Sam to get rid of then turned to see the Winter Solider choking you, so he leaped towards the two of you. The shield bashed against Bucky's side, knocking him over. Just as he was ripped from your sight, you saw the blue darken again, and Bucky was gone.

"He's making his way to the helipad—" Steve spoke, storming in the direction of the mentioned exit, not even sparing you a glance as he passed you.

The fight had gone shit. Sam had been sent after Zemo and had no luck, the man seemingly disappearing off the face of the earth. Everyone had had their turn at Bucky, only making things worse, only escalating things. You had managed to pull Black Widow away from the solider, pushing her to the side and running after Bucky as he fled. Then Iron Man had wanted a turn, half suited and dodging a bullet that Bucky had managed to aim in his direction. Steve had been in and out of everything, and was now on his way to following Bucky as he attempted to escape.

You hadn't seen Steve since he had knocked Bucky away from you in the bunker. Now he was storming away from you and you had some less than pleasant words that he definitely needed to hear. "Steve, I swear to God, what the fuck—" You paused, still walking after him and scoffing as he simply continued walking. "I had him! I had Bucky back and you ruined it! What right do you even have protecting him or me like that?"

It was a stupid thing to say. You knew that him and Bucky had been inseparable during the war, because who didn't? You knew that he was risking his power as Captain America in order to protect Bucky from prosecution.

Steve paused, turning around and finally facing you, pointing an index finger at you in a accusatory act, eyebrows furrowed in anger. "Listen, I don't know who the hell you think you are, but Bucky is my best friend and I will do anything to make sure he's safe. So don't bullshit me with who deserves him more, because I don't know a single good thing you've done for him in the past 100 years."

You grit your teeth, fighting off a groan. Just about to reply, movement in your peripheral shifted your attention, seeing the solider swing open the door to a free helicopter. "Steve, quick—"

He followed where you were looking, and at the realisation that there wasn't time for a spat, you both started running, outside and onto the helipad. Bucky knew how to work it, getting the vehicle up in no time. Steve leaped, grabbing the landing skids, attempting to pull it downward. Bucky saw, shifting so the helicopter moved away from Steve. You reached for Steve's spare hand, using your joint strength to further pull the helicopter towards the concrete.

Bucky shouted, again shifting and this time behind successful. The helicopter was dragged towards the edge, Steve dropping your grasp and having no choice but to latch onto the yellow railing around the edge of the helipad.

"Let me help!" You shouted, rushing forward and pulling on his hand, you in turn, starting pulling both Steve and the helicopter away from the direction it was heading towards. Knees pressed against the concrete, you grabbed onto the railing as a fail safe, which eventually came in handy as the helicopter tugged the two of you and Steve away from the ground.

You were dangling in mid-air, hand in hand with the Captain America, attempting and failing to pull Bucky back to the ground. What the fuck? What the actual fuck. Steve caught your eyes, a mouthed 'tug on three, yeah?' You nodded in return, and he began to shout over the whirring of the main motor. "One—" You were latched onto the yellow railing, securing your grip. "Two—" It was a struggle, but it seemed possible. Or at least, you tried to tell yourself that. "THREE!"

Steve pulled, as did you, a sudden, unexpected tug. It sent pressure through the helicopter, a shift that Bucky couldn't predict and therefore couldn't avoid. The vehicle stuttered, and lost momentum, crashing into the side of the railing. Rubble was everywhere, you had lost Steve's hand and he was nowhere to be seen.

The helicopter creaked as it collided with the concrete. Then it slipped, stuttered, and slowly dropped from the ledge, falling into the river below.

Bucky groaned, muscles aching. His eyes fluttered open, and he was met with the stern looks of Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson, both with their arms crossed over their chests. He spluttered a cough out, pushing himself to sit up. As the two stayed quiet, Bucky let himself look around the room. Leant against the far brick wall, was your body, limp and still unconscious. At the sight of you, Bucky sat up fully, pushing himself up and moving towards you.

Steve stepped to the left, blocking his path. "Hold it—"

"Let me get to her, Steve." Bucky pleaded, voice wavering in fear of the way she was so limp against the wall, a hand held out pointing towards her. "I need to check she's okay. If she's not— I don't— She has to be okay, just let me ch—"

The captain cut him off, a hand held up to cease his speech. "She's okay, trust me. You can go see her in a second, we just have a couple questions, first."

Bucky swallowed, nearly glaring up at Steve. He shrugged. "Go crazy."

"What's your name?"

He scoffed, shoulders shaking, eyes never leaving yourself. "Bucky Barnes."

"When were you born?" He was being very very quick with these questions. Bucky found it almost demeaning, but under the circumstances and taking into consideration the entire situation, he became a bit more empathetic.

"March 10th, 1917."

Steve swallowed, allowing two quick glances, one toward Sam stood next to him, and then behind him to where you were still unconscious. "Tell me something only Bucky would know."

Bucky sighed, shoulders deflating and finally being able to draw his gaze away from you, meeting Steve's. "Your mom's name was Sarah. You used to put newspapers in your shoes—"

At Sam's small chuckle, Steve held a hand out, pausing him. "Alright, alright. I'm sorry for the paranoia, but with the fight that just broke out, I hope you can understand why. I swear, we've done our checks and she's really alright but you go ahead."

"Thanks." He nodded curtly, rushing towards you and falling to his knees. He pushed your hair back from your face, hands pressed against your cheeks, examining your face.

Steve, arms crossed again, looked to face him. "Who even is she?"

Bucky grinned, forehead pressed to yours, letting out a deep sigh as his conclusions came back that nothing was inherently wrong, you simply needed to wake up. "She's my saviour. She is the reason I'm still alive, that I'm not a slave for Hydra anymore." Pulling back, he sought Steve for a reason. In the small moment he was looking away, you twitched, gasping for air and eyes flicking open, regaining consciousness.

"James—"

At the breathe of your name, he spun, eyes widening at the sight of you awake. Immediately, he pulled you into him, arms around your torso, chest flush against his. You sighed, realising he was here, and safe, and not the Winter Solider. His face pressed against your neck, warm breath jarring against the cold of wherever the safe house was.

He sighed contently into your neck. "You're okay, doll, you're okay. Are you okay? How—"

Pulling back, you laughed, palms moving to press against his cheeks. "Am I okay? Oh, James, I swear. Are you okay? You're the one that was triggered, how do you feel?"

"A bit shaken." He spoke, breathing calming down. "But alive, and happy you are too."

"Good."

Sam cleared his throat, and the two of you were brought back to reality. Steve hid a chuckle behind a cough and in order to force the awkwardness to dissipate, he took over the room, setting about recap of the circumstance and what the next plan of action was. It would be a lot of work, but anything to make sure Bucky was free.

a/n: hope you enjoyed!! lemme know if yous want a part 2 or want me to create a tag list or anything any support is appreciated 👏

[rotthepoet]

Come Home (Dark!Mattheo Riddle x Reader)

Notes; DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT. Dark!Matty has been plaguing my mind and I need an outlet omg. I lowkey rewrote some lore for this, so essentially the battle of Hogwarts takes place but Voldemort's influence still lives on through Mattheo, who basically runs the new Knights of Walpurgis(The slytherin boys). Everyone is evil, all good business. 

Warnings; again, DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT. Dark!Mattheo, Murder/death/gore, stalking, kidnapping, mattheo might highkey be ooc but its fine, dubcon(reader REALLY wants him but like.. morals?), oral(F! And M!), mention of fem masturbation, predator/prey dynamic, spitting, degradation, lowkey breeding kink?, piv, lowkey porn with plot, Stockholm syndrome if you squint, at least he kinda gets a redemption arc

This one goes out to my beautiful @nottswitch i hope dark!mattheo comes to life and fucks us both <3

Word count; 6.3k

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The bitter breeze in the frigid air pricks through my thin shirt as the diner door swings open and shut again as a customer disappears into the icky black of our winter night. I stare out after him, a farewell unspoken on my lips as I cast my gaze towards an orange, flickering lamp post lining the parallel street, and I realize how truly cold it is inside the shabby eatery. 

As I tug the embarrassingly short, mandated skirt I'm forced to wear, I can only think of the comforting and safe walls of Hogwarts, my home only months ago, yearning for the soft crackle of a fireplace and the ambient chatter of portraits lining the walls. The muggles had nothing as interesting, nothing as familiar as the light of the silver moon passing through the large windows of the great hall. Nothing as comfortable as my own home back in England, with my mother and fathers smiling faces. Nothing as comfortable as the safe, unscarred arms of the once-kind boy I loved what feels like so long ago. 

Being on the lam for about a month now, I've been skipping towns and laying low where I can. It’s not often, but when I'm able to stay in a town for longer than a week, I take pitiful muggle jobs, my current being to take orders at a local diner, “famous for their milkshakes”, although fame must mean four regular visitors in this nowhere town. 

Jean, the gray-haired woman who owns the diner I work at, leans over the counter and points at the analog clock hanging on the wall. It reads almost 1:30, and it finally sets in how tired I am. She hums and looks me up and down, standing in the middle of the floor, standing stiff as a board while holding a broom. She clicks her tongue and shakes her head, a small smile gracing her aged face. 

“I’m sorry, I zoned out.” I apologize, leaning the non-flying broom against a nearby booth, and smooth out my wind-swept hair. 

Jean just shakes her head, “Go on and head home. You did good today.” she hums in approvement, tossing me my room key that was previously hanging on a hook in the kitchen. “Be careful out there, the papers said another storm is coming.” she warned, but a storm is the furthest thing from my mind as I push open the door. Silver light flashes across the street and my heart nearly stops beating, a pit forms in the bottom of my stomach. My eyes squint, finally adjusting to the lack of light, catch the face of a mannequin in the window of a shop. I let out a breath I don’t realize I’m holding and relax as I realize the moon had simply caught the silver details on the faux person. I turn on my heel and carry on down the dimly lit pavement towards my motel. 

It’s just as run down as everything else in this town, water stains stretching across the ceiling like swatches of muddy paint, and the hideous carpet crunches underneath my feet. It isn’t much. It is nothing, in fact, but a roof over my head and sanctuary from the ruthless dangers outside. 

I drop each article of clothing from my body onto the yellowing tile of the bathroom floor, stepping into the freezing cold water of the shower. I shudder, goosebumps racking through my body as I allow the water to wash away the grease and sweat, I collected today. I run a baby blue loofa over my skin, suds washing away with the now lukewarm stream. I close my eyes, and take a deep breath, and the smell of metallic rust from the old pipes fills my nostrils. 

Blood. So much blood. It covers my hands, and my knees, my face, and my clothes. I practically wade through a pool of it, the dark hallways of that god awful manor stretch on infinitely, and the smell of rot and decay suffocates my senses. My heart nearly beats out of my chest as his strong arms wrap around me as I collapse to the floor, and I'm hyper aware of the many motionless bodies lying at my feet. His lips brush against my neck, rough and wet, and I wonder if they have blood on them too. I wouldn’t put it past him. Malicious is not a word I thought I would ever use to describe my lover, the man I thought I was going to marry one day, but like many other things before, he proved me wrong. His warm hands caress the soft fat of my thighs, slipping underneath the loose fabric of my shorts, and he leans into my ear. “They’re all gone now… Let’s go take a shower.” 

I release a shaky breath and turn off the water, letting it drip from my head and down my face, mingling with salty tears. Wiping my face with my wet palms, which did nothing in retrospect, I sigh. I can’t go back there; I can never go back there. It isn’t safe anymore. He isn’t safe anymore. Come on, I can’t keep feeling bad for myself. This is ridiculous, and as I step out of the shower and dress myself, I feel a newfound sense of determination. Sleep, for the first time in months, finds me easily with her warm embrace. 

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As most things in my life do, my high spirits came to an abrupt end. Smoke fills my lungs, but there's a strange taste to it. It’s not a fire, no, it was tobacco. A smell I was all too familiar with. I sat up in bed, and my eyes met the inky black eyes of his silver, skull mask. My breath catches in my throat, only for me to cough out the smoke from his cigarette.

He couldn’t have found me this easily. It’s a bad dream, it has to be. Merlin forgive me, God save me, tell me this is just a dream! The mask on his face shifts a little, clearly amused at my coughing fit. “Have anything to say?”

Say anything. Stop gaping at him like a fish, you are a powerful witch, almost top of your class in DADA. Almost. Second place, notably. Right behind him.

Mattheo Riddle.

A sob racks through my body, tears falling down my cheeks before I even realize, and I’m paralyzed in place. Half of me wants to crawl into his arms, to beg for forgiveness, to beg for him to take me home. Home to that wretched, dark house, with blood seeped into the wood. With blood-stained grout on the kitchen tile. With blood-stained walls. So, so much blood. The other half of me screams at me to run. To run, to run, run, run, RUN! For god's sake, run! 

I push myself out of bed, fast enough to catch Mattheo by surprise. He flicks his cigarette to the side, letting it roll along the carpet floor. My hand reaches for my wand resting on a table beside the door as I duck out of his reaching arms, and I stumble to my feet as he lunges after me. I throw open the door, pulling it shut in his face as he screams for me.

“You bitch! Come back here!” he screams through the wood, struggling with the now sweat-slick doorknob. 

The door splinters open with the blast of, “Bombarda!”, but I scramble down the wet, cold streets, my bare feet scratch against the rough pavement as I sprint, thankful that it had been just warm enough to not freeze. I duck down another street, pulling out my wand to apparate elsewhere. I rack my brain for a safe location. Hogwarts? I might be able to, but I don’t want to risk splinching. My job? It might separate me long enough to get my shit together. 

Air is knocked out of me as a heavy body slams into mine, knocking my wand out of my hand. A heavy, black boot pins my wrist to the ground, and a silver mask that was not Riddle’s leans over me. He laughs under the mask, but I can’t tell which of his mentally fucked goons had caught me. I reach for my wand, but another set of boots kicks it out of my reach. Leather gloved hands grab my hair and lift me up to face the group now circling me. 

“She looks pitiful, really. Like an angry kitten.” An Italian accent draws next to my ear with a mocking snicker, and I thrash to kick Theodore Nott anywhere I can, luckily landing a solid blow to his shin. He curses in pain, and hisses something inaudible underneath his mask as he throws me back to the ground. The rough concrete scratches against my exposed skin, drawing blood from the soft flesh. I yelp in pain, landing at the feet of someone else. A black, steel-toed boot presses against my cheek, pushing my head to the side as I watch another figure ominously approach. I would recognize my Mattheo’s casual amble anywhere, and he peered down at my stray wand laying at his feet.

I don’t even have time to protest as he steps his boot onto the wood, sparks fizzing out around the magic object as it snaps under his weight. A choked sob escapes me as he approaches, my eyes wide with horror and betrayal.

“Enough of this, love. It’s time to come home,” He drawls, kneeling down to my level and lifting my chin to meet his empty gaze. “Be a good girl and come back to me, I’m tired of this little game of yours.”

“Fuck. You.” I spat on the silver of his skull-like mask, noting the wild look in my own eyes as the saliva slips down its reflective surface.

Mattheo groaned and tugged off his mask, and my breath caught in my throat. What the hell is wrong with me? I can’t think this awful man who betrayed me, threatened me, hunted me down, can still be attractive. Then again, he was still the man I had loved–part of me still does love– all those years ago. The handsome face I fell asleep looking at, the doe eyes I found comfort in. He looked roguish now, his brown curls were longer than the last time I had seen him, and he had a new scar running across his cheek from our last encounter. My mouth goes dry as he leans into my face, his breath hot against my lips. 

“I’ve missed you, love,” He practically purred, pressing his dry lips against my trembling ones. I whine against him, wriggling my body underneath the heavy weight of whoever was holding me. 

Mattheo groaned, gripping my chin harder, “You used to be so obedient, pet, but don’t worry. I’ll fix you.” he mumbled, kissing my forehead as I felt his wand pressed to my temple. He mumbled an incantation against my skin, and I felt my body go limp before my eyes closed themselves, and sleep consumed me. 

ﾟ+*:ꔫ:*﹤

It was cold, damp, and reeked of copper and mold. My body laid on the floor, sore and unresponsive to my will to move. As my senses came back to me, I tried climbing to my feet, but a chain tugged my ankle back to the floor. I tumbled to the stone floor, scraping my hands against its rough surface. I whimper in pain, and only as I go to wipe my hands on my pants do I realize I’m completely nude. Horror racks through my body as I take in my surrounding and own appearance. I know I'm back in that old house, that old, disgusting, horrible house of horrors, and tears fall from my stinging eyes again.

I don’t know how long I laid on that floor, shaking from the cold as I sob into the air, screaming and cursing with conviction, damning Riddle’s name to an eternity in hell. I scream, and wail, and cry until I tire myself out, my voice breaking into nothing but a hushed plea for freedom. 

I fight sleep, sitting myself against a wall near my chain, breathing deep into my burning lungs. My eyes drift closed, but I will them open as the loud creak of a door alerts me. It’s only then that I notice a stairwell, casted in a white light with the newly opened door, and my heart nervously skips a beat as a tall shadow approaches the stairwell. The stairs creak under his weight as he descends to what I can only infer is a basement, and I stare up at his form.

Mattheo wasn’t nearly as scary like this, dressed in black slacks and a loose white shirt. Had he not been so threatening, and the reason I was chained to the basement floor, I would have swooned over the top buttons being undone. Perhaps I still do get butterflies in my stomach, but that may just be nausea. 

He looks down at me with an expression I can only describe as mock sympathy, clicking his tongue softly. “Down here for less than three hours and you’ve already managed to hurt yourself,” he scolded me, shaking his head in disappointment, “My clumsy girl, what am I going to do with you?” 

The smile he cracked made me want to claw his eyes out, or kiss him, and I worry that he may have slipped me a love potion. My ears ring, and my head suddenly aches with a mild pain, and Mattheo smirks.

“Like the shirt, do you?” He teased, kneeling down to my level. I curse under my breath, face heating up with anger (Or embarrassment, I can’t really tell), of course I forget he’s a legilimens. “Drop the act darling, I know you’re going to crack eventually. Save us both the trouble so I can finally bring you back to bed.” His warm hand tenderly caressed my cold cheek, and I fought the urge to lean into the comforting touch. “I hate seeing you down here like this, but you need to remember your place.”

My eyes snap back to his, and I whip my head to the side to bite his hand. He scowls and rips his hand away, reeling it back and back-handing me across the face. It knocks my breath out of my chest, and the rings on his fingers cut my cheek. Metallic blood drips to the floor. 

“Fine. Stay down here and bleed out for all I care.” He snaps, rubbing his sore hand as he turns on his heel and storms up the stairs. The door slams loudly behind him, and I’m engulfed in sudden darkness.

ﾟ+*:ꔫ:*﹤

My cheek and hands had long stopped bleeding the next time he came back, staining my skin red with its slick. My head lifts as the door opens again, and light makes my eyes dilate painfully. Mattheo trudges down the stairs, his head hanging low, and a small white box hanging from his hand. He approaches me and kneels at my level. I meet his gaze, glaring into his soft eyes.

“Darling, you know I didn’t mean to hit you, right?” He mumbled, holding my chin to twist my cheek towards him, his rough actions bringing tears to my eyes. “I was just so worked up, and you were pushing too many buttons, you’ll forgive me, right?” He asks hopefully, but I don’t answer him.

He sighs in defeat, opening the little box and retrieving a cloth and bottle full of a clear liquid. My eyes go wide, and I scramble backwards as far as the chain allows me to. “No, No, Mattheo please don’t-” I plead, heart racing as he looks at me with confusion.

A smile breaks across his face, “Oh darling, no, no, it’s just alcohol.” he laughs a bit, a deep sound that makes pleasant shivers run down my spine and too an embarrassing heat between my legs. What the fuck is wrong with me? He approaches me again, dousing the cloth with the solution before taking my hands. He shushes my soft whines as he presses it to my scraped palms, which makes me hiss at the burning sensation. “Good girl, there we go. That’s much better, isn’t it?” he asks as he takes a roll of gauze from the box and wraps each of my hands. He lifts my palms to his lips, pressing a storm of soft pecks and kisses to the gauze and skin. My face heats up at the gesture, and I force myself to look away. He was always so chivalrous for a monster, though it hurt to call him that even after everything.

He presses the cloth to my cheek next, his thumb tracing calming circles into the opposite cheek. “Such a pretty girl, my pretty girl.” He whispered, placing a bandage over my skin. Just like my palms, he kisses my cheek, though much slower and intimate this time. “I don’t want to hurt you, you know?” he promised, leaning over my trembling body. He looked down at me, eyes drifting past my collarbone, and he whistled softly. “A sight for sore eyes… and It’s all mine.” He smirked, leaning down as he supported his weight on his forearms. His chapped lips press suspiciously soft kisses to my neck. A loud thud coming from upstairs makes Mattheo groan and pull away. He looks down at me, wide eyed beneath him, “I’ll be right back, love, don’t worry your pretty little head.” He hummed, patting my cheek as he stood up. 

He casts me one last yearning glance before he shuts the door again, much softer this time. I lean back against the stone, releasing a breath I didn’t know I was holding, and try to ignore the wetness between my thighs as I drift off to sleep.

ﾟ+*:ꔫ:*﹤

I’m startled awake as the basement door slams shut, and heavy footsteps descend to my prison. Mattheo storms into view, and before I can even get a word out, he grabs me by the hair and pulls me up to my knees. He sneers down at me, and my head is spinning from the sudden switch up.

“Incompetent assholes. Have to do everything myself around here,” He mumbled, not really speaking to me rather than himself. He doesn’t loosen his grip on my hair as his other hand tugs apart the button of his slacks. 

My eyes go wide with shock, and he pulls my hair, forcing my chin up to look at him. “Open your mouth,” He demands, his voice lacking his previous warmth, and I'm reminded that this is not my Matty. My lip quivers and I shake my head slightly. Mattheo pulls his half-hard cock from the confines of his black briefs and pulls me by the hair to his tip. “I don’t have time for this attitude, I said open your mouth.”

I don’t even have a moment to react before his leaking tip is pressed against my mouth. He pushes his way past, groaning as my wet lips engulf his mushroomed tip. He pulls on my hair again, forcing himself further into my warm hole. “There you go, not so hard, was it? Now suck.” He orders in a tone I’ve never heard him use in bed before, and as he bucks his hips towards my face, I whine in protest while the ache returns to my lower stomach. My jaw relaxes on its own, familiar with the girth of his hung cock. An almost inaudible whine slips through my throat, and he groans at the tightness. One more tug lets me know his patience is running thin, and I reach my bandaged hand up to stroke the rest of him while I focus on his tip.

Mattheo bites back a moan, his hips stuttering as I descend further down onto his length. His leaky tip presses against the back of my throat, and he holds my head in place while he rocks his hips further into me. My nose presses against his groin as he slips down the back of my throat, and his grip moves from my hair to my throat, feeling my neck bulge with every movement. Saliva drips past him and down my chin, dribbling to the floor in thick droplets. He shudders as my throat tightens around him, nearly swallowing the head. 

“Yeah, yeah… Fuck baby. Keep going for me, almost there,” He mumbles, rocking his hips faster than before. I whine around him, my own hand slipping down to the ache at my core. My fingers gingerly brush against my clit, and the soft moan I try to let out makes Mattheo’s head roll back. Hot spurts of his seed shoot down my throat and my glossy eyes go wide at the feeling.

“Swallow,” Is all he says, and obediently, I do. He pulls my head off of him, his cum mixing with the drool in my mouth when it drips down my chin. He grips my face between his index finger and thumb, collecting the mess with a swipe of his finger and pushing it back into my sore mouth. “All of it.” 

When I satisfied him, he pushed me back to the ground, and I yelped in pain as I collided against the stone surface. “When I come down here, I want you on your knees waiting for my dick. Understand?”

I nod weakly, and he smirks down at me. “Good girl. Keep it up and maybe I’ll bring you back upstairs.” He says, before pulling back up his pants and running a hand through his hair. 

When he leaves again, I’m left with an unbearable, wet mess.

ﾟ+*:ꔫ:*﹤

With nothing else to do in my makeshift prison, I sleep a lot. And when I wake up, I force myself to sleep again. I sleep God knows how long before the door opens again, and Mattheo trudges down the stairs. I scramble to my knees, honestly fearing what might happen if I disobey him, and when Mattheo catches sight of me, he smiles. 

“There’s my pretty girl.” He hums, holding a platter with a bowl of something steaming, a slice of some sort of bread, and a bottle of water. My stomach growls as its divine aroma fills my senses, and I can’t remember the last time I’ve eaten. 

Mattheo sits down in front of me and puts the tray between up. He rests his elbow on his knee and leans into his palm. “Eat,” he orders me, gesturing to the platter with the wave of his free hand. “Or would you prefer I feed you myself?” He asks with a smirk, watching how I shift from my knees to rest on my hip. I grab the water bottle first, chugging half of it in one go, before I subconsciously offer him a sip. What’s mine is his. Was his. Was. I look up at him, taking the water and sipping from it. I tore my gaze away before he noticed.

“I don’t want to stay in the basement anymore,” I mumble, dipping the bread into the soup before taking a bite, shivering at its deliciousness. Mattheo sighed and shook his head. “You know I can’t do that yet. You ran away, darling. I can’t trust you won’t do that again,” He explained, reaching his hand across the way to rub my knee soothingly. I sigh and push the tray away, my appetite gone. Mattheo frowned and moved the tray away, leaning over me. “Princess, c’mon, don’t be this way.” he hummed, pushing me onto my back. My heart rate quickened, and he definitely noticed. “But you’re right. I’ve been neglecting you… That’s why you ran away right? My poor girl was lonely and scared.” he hummed, pressing his lips to my collar bone. “Not anymore. My attention is solely on you, I promise.” 

My head rolled back a little, lolling onto the floor as he trailed his kisses down my sternum, stopping at my breasts to gently knead them. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach as I reached for his hair, tugging gently on his loose curls. He groaned in response, his lips finding my perked nipple and taking it into his warm mouth. His other hand slipped down my soft stomach, dipping between my thighs. Out of reflex, I squeezed them together, and Mattheo parted from my tit. He sat back on his haunches, using his strong, scarred hands to pull apart my thighs and admire my glistening, needy cunt.

“It’s been all about me, huh? Need to show my girls some love.” He mumbled, before dipping his head down. His warm breath fanned across my puffy lips, and I shivered at the breeze. He didn’t waste a second more, drawing a long, needy moan from my lips as he licked a long strip from my hole to my clit. My hands tangle into his hair again, and my mouth falls open with pleasure. “Fuck, Matty–” the nickname fell from my lips without a second thought, and he practically purrs against me. His hands grip my thighs, pulling them over his shoulders as he dives nose deep into my pussy. My back arches off the floor as a string of curses flies from my lips. I feel his wet appendage push against my hole, and I clench at the feeling as his nose brushes against my sensitive bud. I tug on his hair again, “Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!” I mewl, my edge fast approaching as Mattheo swirls his tongue over my clit. He sloppily makes out with my lower lips, pulling me closer to the edge with each passing second, and I’m in near tears when there's a loud crash up above us. 

Mattheo practically roars in anger, pulling his soaked face away from my aching cunt, the knot in my stomach loosening at the sudden separation. I whine and sit up, trying to pull him back down, but he stops me with a firm hold on my wrist. “Stay here and don’t make a sound.” he ordered, “I need to take care of this, and I promise as soon as I’m done, I’ll come right back.”

Anger flashes through me, and I bite back my cries. “Don’t you dare leave me like this, Riddle.” I snap, and he gives me a warning look that makes goosebumps prick at my skin. He leans in, pressing a wet kiss to my lips, and I can feel him shiver as I lick my own arousal from his lips. “I’ll be right back, princess. Be good for me, and we can talk about a reward.”

And with that, he left yet again.

ﾟ+*:ꔫ:*﹤

I was starting to get sick of his mind games, switching up his attitude, finally giving me relief before ripping it away from me. Fuck. What am I saying? I watched him murder dozens of people; I watched lives being taken right in front of me. I shiver at the memory and try to focus on anything else before it becomes too much to bear. 

I hate how he makes me feel. Sometimes he’s my Mattheo, and sometimes he’s nothing but a parasite attached to a face I can’t help but love. My back hits a wall, and I can’t count how long he’s been gone. I miss his warm, familiar touch, but anything was better than the cold, dark basement. I close my eyes, my lip trembling as I reach my hand down, fingers hesitantly spreading my folds. Cold air hit my wet lips, and I gasp at the feeling. I brush my fingertips against my hole, whining softly at the pleasure that coursed through my body. Maybe I'm sick in the head, maybe I hit my head too hard one day on the run and never recovered. Maybe I never really hated Mattheo. 

What is wrong with me?

I don’t move when the door opens again. I glare at him, anger coursing through my veins. This was not ‘right back’. As Mattheo’s black boot lands on the stone floor, my mouth goes dry. He’s weaning that stupid mask again, and that stupid costume, tilting his head stupidly at me. He approaches me in a way that makes my heart race in fear, like I'm nothing but cowardly prey between the jaws of a large wolf. 

He knees down, retrieving his hand from his pocket. Wordlessly, he unlocks the chain around my ankle, and he looks up at me. With another wave of his wand, I’m dressed in a loose tank top and shorts. It’s not much at all, but it’s better than naked. A rush of emotions rushes through my chest, and I almost gratefully throw my arms around Mattheo, but he stops me. 

“Go. Run,” He orders, stepping aside. I stare up at him in confusion, mounted to my spot on the ground. “I said run, little pet, like you want to.” He pulls me from the ground, pressing my cold body up against his comforting warmth. “Run, and if I catch you,” he leaned down into my ear, and through the skull mouth of his mask I could feel his breath fanning across my ear. “Well, I think you know what’s going to happen.”

I still don’t move, wondering if he would be less harsh if I stayed with him, but he only laughed. “Such a good girl, don’t worry,” he pulled his mask up just enough to expose his pearly white teeth. They sunk into the soft flesh just beneath my ear, “I’ll always find you. Go, now.”

I don’t know what possessed me, but my feet started moving on their own. I raced up the stairs of the basement and pushed past the door. The house was just as I remembered, dark with walls that were too tall, black cloths hung over the complaining portraits. I was disoriented in the dark, but my feet carried me through the house until I found the overtly large entrance. I pushed open the doors and ran out into the cold, snowy night. 

Frost nipped at each of my limps, and my lungs found it harder to breathe the frigid air. I ran anyway, out towards the woods surrounding the manor. I cast a glance over my shoulder, finding Mattheo staring back at me through the blacked-out eyes of his mask. I ducked into the tree line, just as he started his casual stroll towards me. Cocky bastard. 

I run for as long as I can before my lungs give out. I leaned against a tree, walking slowly into a clearing. I take a deep breath, pulling my arms behind my head to breathe deeper. Just as I find a moment of peace, a branch snaps behind me. I whip my head around, my heart racing as Mattheo approaches me. He doesn’t run, only walks towards me with his hands stuffed into his pockets. He ditched that awful mask, and I can see the smirk pulling at the edge of his lips. I stumble backwards, falling into the fresh snow. He continues his pace, unbothered by my racing heart as I scramble away from him and finally back to my feet. I don’t get one leg in front of the other before strong arms are wrapped around my waist, slipping under the loose fabric of my shirt.

“I win,” He mumbles in my ear, voice dark and raspy. It sends a chill down my spine that pools in my underwear. 

Mattheo throws me over his shoulder, ignoring my flailing lips as he walks back to the manor. “Didn’t even get a mile, love. Lost your talent it seems, or maybe you knew you’d miss me too much.” he teased, running his warm hands up my thigh, pressing a kiss to my exposed skin. 

It isn’t long before we’re back at the manor, and I thank every god I'm in good ties with when he walks past the basement. He takes me to his room instead, our room, the room where I've fallen apart under his touch more times than I can count. 

I breathe in his familiar scent as he deposits me on the bed, and I roll over to bury my burning face in the pillows. Mattheo chuckles at me and grabs my hips, pulling me back against him as he grinds his hardening bulge against the plushness of my ass. 

“You’ve been extra obedient, haven’t you?” he asked, his voice dripping with a tone I could quite place. Lust? Possession? Love? It all blurred together as he rutted his hips against me. “Good girls deserve a reward, don’t they?” he asked, before hooking his fingers at the hem of my shorts. He pulled them down to expose my glistening cunt. He spread me out along his fingers, admiring the way my pussy pulsed around nothing. He leaned in, pressing a possessive kiss to my clit, holding my hips as I try to buck away from him. 

His warm fingers trace along my thighs, sleeping between my legs and collecting the arousal that pooled there. I release a shaky breath into the pillow as his finger circles my clit, and I arch my back to present myself further. He hums in appreciation, trailing his finger further up to my dripping hole, slowly pushing his middle finger inside of me. I gasp at the intrusion, not being able to remember the last time something so long had been inside of me. I keen under his touch, gripping the sheets for stability as he slowly pumps his finger in and out of me. A moan escapes me as he curls his finger, and his thumb brushes against my needy pearl again. Mattheo adds a second finger, spreading out my tight, gummy walls. I crumble under his touch, mouth falling open and eyes going half lidded as he pulls his fingers from me. 

I hear him dropping his pants, and the bed dips behind me yet again as he leans his body completely over mine. His arm wraps around my neck, pressing me close to his chest while his breath fans across my face. The tip of his cock presses against me, and I whine at the sensation, pushing my hips back against him.

“Needy girl, thought you didn’t need me anymore.” He teased, pushing just the bulbous tip into my hole. It’s enough to make the knot in my stomach tighten, and I shake my head. “Need you, Matty, Need you so bad.” I admit, face flushed with embarrassment as he smirks. “Gonna run away again?”

He doesn’t let me get an answer out before he’s pressing further inside of me, the stretch burning pleasantly while my eyes roll back. His arm around my throat tightens, “I asked you a question, darling.” He teased, licking away the stray tear that fell from my eyes. I gasp as his cock brushes against a gummy bundle of nerves, and my head drops to the pillows. He tugs me back against him, pushing even further until he balls slapped against me. “No! No, never gonna leave again,” I promised, involuntary whines spilling from my throat. 

Mattheo pulls his hips back before drilling them back into me, “Good girl,” He grins as he sets a punishing pace, watching my face contort into pleasure underneath him. “Who owns you?” he asks, and I push back against his hips desperately. “You! You do, God, you do!” I moan, feeling my head go light from the lack of airflow. 

“God isn’t here, Love, It’s just me now.”

He drills into my pulsating hole, my back arching at his every thrust as my brain goes mushy from the pleasure. The arm around my throat pulls away, slipping down my stomach to find my pearl. His fingers are just as fast as his pace, and I can’t fight back the whorish moans in my throat. His lips attach to my shoulder, biting a possessive mark into my skin as he fucks me good, better than he ever had before. 

Tears fall from my eyes, and my hand grips his desperately as I’m worked to my edge. “Matty, Matty please…” I trail off into a string of moans, and Mattheo adjusts himself behind me. He bucks his hips into me once more, and I fall apart all over him. My pussy flutters around his cock, and he rides out my orgasm with a few last thrusts of his hips, before he spills his hot seed deep into my womb. Mattheo collapses on top of me, still deep inside as he pins my body to the bed. He hums into my neck, burying himself in my skin. 

“That’s my good girl. Let’s go take a shower.”

[g0niki]

camera's on: take two ── y.jw p.js

camera's on (pt.1) (read me first!!!)

pairing: bf!jungwon x afab!reader x classmate!jay

word count: 2.3k+

content: no protection (don't be like them.), oral (m&f receiving), mxm (no penetration, but more than kissing), exhibitionism, dom!jay, switch!won, sub!reader, jw and reader are no thoughts head empty, creampies, recording. lmk if i missed anything! minors dni.

a/n: i was feeling silly and i didn't proof read🤸. please share your thoughts with me in the comments, reblogs, or my inbox! I also won't be adding more to 'camera's on' (at least as of right now) but i will still write for jaywon and other duos!! going to try and write more about the other members 🤞

jungwon had been standing on the tip of his toes for the whole week, eager for the upcoming friday. 

won bit on the end of his pencil, uninterested in his lecture about the mayan empire and the legacy they left behind. his focus was completely locked in on the analog clock dangling above the exit. the hands ticking and taunting him with every passing second, the pencil sitting in between his teeth being bent up as he bit down harder and harder.

unfortunately, the first tape had been lost but luckily for him, jay was feeling generous enough to allow another session free of charge (as long as he would have a feature). 

he knew you would already be home getting ready, probably letting jay get comfortable and set up while he’s forced to miss out on even the smallest of interactions. 

the thought of you and jay getting started up without him almost being enough to make him leave his lecture early.. yet at the same time he wouldn’t mind.

god, he hopes that’s what the two of you are doing. 

and just before he could get lost in the thought, imagining jay’s name rolling off the tip of your tongue as he rushes down the hall of your shared apartment, his professor is dismissing the class.

【☆】★【☆】

jungwon fumbles with his keys, struggling to get the right one into the keyhole. his bag tugging down on his shoulder as he fumbles with the doorknob, forcing his way into the small apartment.

only to be welcomed by silence. 

he knew you were home, you hadn’t told him about a change of plans. he lets his bag fall onto the floor next to your couch, eyeing the two pairs of shoes next to the entrance, clearly indicating the presence of both you and jay. 

“baby? did you guys set up?” he calls out as he creeps towards the room, the only place you and jay could be.

his stomach turned, anticipating what was going on behind the closed door. he could hear jay’s hushed whispers, the conversation between you too being inaudible. 

jungwon opened the door to the very scene he was wishing for. you were sitting between jay’s legs, your own splayed open as the older boy spread your folds,  the camera pointing directly towards the two of you. 

“good girl, you held in your sounds til jungwon could make it home.” jay used his free hand to push back the sweaty strands of hair off of your face. 

your cheeks were flushed, your face scrunched up as you used all your might to try and not make a single sound. 

“she’s waiting on you won,” jungwon's jaw slightly dropped, admiring the sight of the two of you. your naked forms pressed up against each other and waiting for him.

“you can let it all out now pretty.” the moment you heard your boyfriend’s smooth voice you were throwing your head back against jay’s shoulder, a strained moan leaving your throat as your back slightly arched and you forced your pelvis further into jay’s hand.

jay hadn’t even put his fingers inside of you, only playing with your clit and tracing the outsides of your hole lightly. he wouldn’t go as far as penetrating you in any sort of way without your boyfriend around and he was glad he didn’t. the way you were dripping down onto his fingers and leaving his hand soaked was amusing to him. 

you were so easy to toy with, almost as if you had never been fucked. and that made him want to tease you even more.

“why don’t you come warm up too jungwon?” jay so easily picked you up, moving your body next to him and signaling won to him. “this week looks like it’s been hard to you, hasn’t it?”

jungwon dumbly nodded, walking over to stand in between jay’s open legs. 

“mm, both of you are too dumb to use your words today. maybe if i help you relax a bit you’ll start speaking up, yeah pretty boy?” 

jay’s hands found jungwon’s, the older boy standing up to now tower over him. moving the two of them around and giving jungwon his former place on the edge of the bed. 

you watched in awe as jay tugged down jungwon’s loose sweats. freeing his painfully hard and swollen member, letting it slap against his hoodie. 

won moaned at the feeling, his sensitive tip rubbing against the cotton material and leaving a dab of precum. 

“both of you are so needy, look at this.” jay lightly blew on jungwon’s tip, his cock jumping in response.

“please hyung.” won’s voice was whiney, and you clenched your legs together watching. your boyfriend’s needy response has you pouting, you hated seeing him not get taken care of.

“come on jay, he’s asking nicely.” you crawled up behind your boyfriend, sitting on your knees and placing light kisses and licks along your boyfriend’s neck. 

“oh, so you can speak?” jay laughed lightly, slapping jungwon’s thigh just to get a reaction. “lucky i’m feeling extra nice today.”

before the two of you could even process it, jay is wrapping his lips around jungwon’s cock. his tongue gently tracing the underside of his tip, won’s body shuddering in response.

jay didn’t bother to take any more of jungwon in his mouth, only paying the swollen end any attention. the both of you knew not to ask for more.

jay’s eyes looking up at the both of you. you were doing your best to feel included, marking up every open surface and leaving the prettiest purple marks on jungwon’s neck, but jay could see the subtle pout on your face. he knew you wanted to feel included. 

he slowly pulled off of jungwon’s tip, letting it rest against his bottom lip for a moment. the saliva serving as a gloss for his lips, jungwon’s member getting more excited by the moment, jumping as jungwon let every single groan and moan leave his throat.

“oh my fucking gosh hyung.” jay wasn’t even doing anything at the current moment yet won felt like he was about to spill all over the cameraman’s face. 

“hey pretty, go grab the camera for me.” your eyes immediately lit up at jay’s command, pushing yourself off the mattress and grabbing the device. “now hand it to jungwonnie and get down here with me.” 

won felt like he was going to faint. the image of you sitting on your knees next to jongseong sends his brain into overdrive. the evident size difference between you two, the rough and dark look jay had in comparison to your soft and head-empty appearance giving him whiplash. 

he watched as jay grabbed the back of your head and had you lean closer to jungwon’s stiff cock, forcefully placing you face-to-face with it.

jay places the tip of jungwon’s cock onto your lips, tapping it against the bottom of your mouth a couple of times, the both of them groaning at the sight.  

“i can’t take this anymore.” 

almost as if it were on cue, jay is leaning forward and sandwiching jungwon’s tip between the two of your lips. his tongue coming out to fight with yours and caress the sensitive end all at the same time.

jungwon’s hands gripped the camera. he could’ve sworn he was hearing colors at this point. 

the way you whined against him was driving him insane. the two tongues providing extra stimulation and the whole view being displayed on the camera’s monitor getting him even harder. 

he could see the tears pricking your eyes, how desperate you were to please him and keep up with jay. 

he felt bad looking at his pretty girl lack so much attention, so he did what any good boyfriend would do. 

he pushed his leg closer to your core, watching as you immediately used it to get yourself off. the material of his sweats rubbing against your clit and giving you the extra energy you needed to drool on his cock and start kissing down the base. 

won tangles his hand in the older’s hair, pulling the boy off of him and admiring his lustful eyes and sharp jaw. 

“what won?” he looked uninterested in what jungwon had to say, if it wasn't for the bulge firmly pressing against his pants jungwon would've almost thought he didn't want to be there.

“look at her. she’ll take anything right now.” won gave jay a fake pout, the two of them watching how you licked up and down won’s member, paying special attention to your favorite vein. 

jay quickly grabbed the camera from won’s hands and focused the lens on you. capturing your eyes pinched tightly together as your hips desperately rutted up and down. 

"holy shit..." won’s neck was thrown back, his member shooting out cum and decorating your cheeks and eyelashes. 

the two of them watch as you swipe the fluid off your face and scoop it into your mouth instead, locking eyes with the camera and giggling.

“camera’s going back up, get on the bed.” jay moves towards the tripod, setting up his camera once again, slightly zooming in and only keeping the bed within the frame. “look at you two, so desperate.”

the camera displays both you and won laying on your sides and sloppily making out. won’s hands clutch at your waist, pulling you closer and rubbing his cock against your clit. the repeated nudging of his head making you whine into his mouth and he can’t help but suck up every single noise you make.

jay lets his cock throb at the view, his head dripping beads of precum as he uses his pointer finger to lightly graze the end of his cock. 

“go on jungwonnie~ fuck her already.” 

you pull away for a moment, hands in his hair and admiring his glassy eyes. “I want it so bad, give it to me please~” you slide your hand between the two of your bodies,  lifting your leg and lining up his member with your entrance. 

jungwon’s hips jump forward on instinct. his dick pushing into you and feeling the warmth of your velvety walls, squeezing his eyes shut and rutting into you. the thrust are short, only pulling out maybe an inch or two before slamming his hips back into yours as he eagerly chases his release. 

“please, fuck- fuck i’m going to cum.” he buries his face into your chest, kissing the tops of your breast. his kisses become messier and messier, leaving marks behind as he speeds up the pace of his hips, his pelvis coming into contact with your clit every time he fucks up into you, ticking you closer and closer to your high . “i’m filling you up- fuck…”.

the warm thick liquid coating your inside, sending you over the edge. he pushes this face into your boobs more, biting down on the supple flesh. his teeth sinking in hard enough to have you squirming, possibly drawing a bit of blood. 

the both of you panting in silence for a moment before jay speaks up, startling the both of you. 

“let’s get our final scene, okay?” he gets in the bed behind you, grabbing your smaller frame and sliding you off of won’s sensitive cock. “gonna make you feel real good princess.” 

he lays flat on his back, pulling you on top of him and pressing your back on top of his chest. his dick now aligned with your cunt, the mixture of you and jungwon dripping down onto his thick shaft.

without warning he’s pushing you down onto his length, won’s cum helping ease the stretch.

“so fucking tight, no wonder he cums so quick.”  jay uses his hand to lightly apply pressure on your lower stomach, heightening the feeling of his dick.

won dumbly watches, his mouth slightly hanging open in awe at the sight. 

“won… need more~” you squeak out to him. you were so close to being gone, his pretty girl being so so good for jay. taking him so well and still wanting more. 

no one would ever be able to satisfy you the way he does. fucking jay, yet still needing him. 

and who was he to deny you?

jungwon crawled over and settled himself between the tangled mess of legs.

leaning down so closely to your stuffed cunt and blowing against it. your body jolting at the feeling, making his eyes light up and a light smirk settle on his lips.

“look at that pretty, the way you clench around him is so cute.” your back arches against jay’s chest. the older wrapping his arms around you to hold you still.

looking down you see won lean in and wrap his soft lips around your clit. suckling on it softly, giving you the last bit of pleasure you needed, but he doesn’t stop there. 

his tongue lolling out of his mouth and moving down to circle your cunt, bringing pleasure to both you and jay. 

jay’s thighs shake at the feeling, and jungwon likes that reaction. 

the younger boy moves down even further, taking jay’s balls into his mouth and sucking on them for a moment before pulling them out of his mouth with a pop. won sticks out his tongue and licks jay from his balls up to where he is inside of you. 

sliding his wet muscle into your cunt alongside jongseong’s cock, sliding against the sensitive vein. 

the feeling of won’s nose bumping against your bruised clit making you squirm and scream, tears welling up in your eyes as you babble out nonsensical begs and pleases as you cum. 

 jay adding more to the mess inside you with the final flick of jungwon’s tongue against his thick cock. 

jungwon sits back, watching the two of you grab onto each other and ride out your highs with a satisfied smile on his face.

“that was better than the take we lost.”

“oh yeah about that, i never lost the take.” you and won snapping your necks to look at jay. “what? i couldn’t pass up on another threesome with you two.” 

ᯓ★

@g0niki all rights reserved. do not translate or post my work anywhere without permission.

🏷️: @pansies-garden

[meremoomoo]

sebastian's dilemma.

sebastian has a problem. the nice farmer is being a little too nice. maybe he's just overthinking it?

word count- 808

Sebastian doesn’t know why he can’t focus.

Well, he does. It's you. You aggravate him. You annoy him– always waltzing into his room asking if he needs anything. He doesn’t need anything, so why do you always give him gifts anyway? Sure, he appreciates his bowl of frozen tears (he made one into a necklace to wear, but you’d never see that.) 

All of this would make sense as to why he can’t focus if you were there. Which you aren’t. He’s thinking about you when you’re not even near him, and you’re probably doing some stupid farmer stuff. Maybe tending to your chickens and cows, and maybe harvesting crops. Maybe even chopping wood with your sturdy arms. 

He pauses and realizes something. He’s got a crush on you! The farmer! The stupid farmer who's nice to everyone– the stupid farmer who's always coming back from the mines nobody goes into with scratches and injuries galore—the stupid farmer who won the egg hunt over Abby somehow. 

He can’t keep thinking about you right now, he has to work. Somehow, Sebastian can finish the rest of the page of code without thinking of you. Sort of. He thinks about how you don’t bother him when he’s working and how much he appreciates it. He stares at the analog clock on his desk–Five in the morning. He sighs and shuts off his computer, then takes off his hoodie to go to bed. 

It’s Friday. That means it's time to get drunk and kick Sam’s ass at pool. Something's different this week, though. Sam and Abby are nursing their third beer of the night together and swaying to the music together. 

Sebastian, however, is just staring at you. You had come in around twenty-odd minutes ago to give some eggs to Gus, but it seems you had been pulled into a drink or two with Pam. You’re laughing, and he’s staring like a creep. Sam and Abby sneak up on Sebastian and begin to tease him. 

“You’re staring, Sebby,” Sam says while wrapping his arm around Sebastian’s shoulders and squishing his cheek. “You like them,” he continues in a sing-songy voice. 

“Shut up,” he groans and shrugs Sam’s hands off of him.

Abby then butts in, “He does, He does!” she giggles while pointing between you and Sebastian. Hopefully, you don’t see the two drunkards being well, drunk, he thinks. Sebastian looks up for a moment to stare at you and quickly meets your eyes. You were already staring at him. Oh no. Now you’re walking over. Abby and Sam are pushing him towards you and now–

“Hi,” you wave.

“Hey,” he sways back and forth, looking everywhere but your face. 

Theres a pause before you ask, “You kicked Sam’s ass again tonight?” followed by Sam grumbling something about ‘taking it easy today’.

“Ha. Um, yeah. Pool’s not exactly his strong point,” he said, still swaying back and forth on his toes. At some point, he finally meets your gaze. 

“You’re not normally here on Fridays. Or any days, I think,” he commented while staring at you.

“I was dropping off like, a hundred eggs for Gus and got stopped by Pam. She convinced me to have a drink,” you shrug, looking away from his gaze. Almost as if you’re just as shy around him as he is around you. Which you definitely aren’t. 

“That’s um, that’s cool,” he shrugged. You lightly smile at him for a moment.

“Can I show you something outside?” you ask. Sebastian shoos away Abby and Sam's “oohs” as he nods. You lead him outside of the saloon, both of your faces lit up by the streetlamps on the sidewalk. Sebastian really can’t help but stare. Suddenly, you’re reaching into your backpack and rummaging around, the clinks and clanks of your items and tools mashing together until he hears you say a little “aha!” and suddenly, a rainbow rock is out in your hands. 

“It’s called a prismatic shard. Pretty rare,” you say, tilting it in the streetlights. Sebastian’s mouth is slightly open, like a little “o” for a moment before he shakes his head and stares up at you again. 

“Here.” You grab his hand and put the shard in it. “Think of it as an early birthday gift?” you say, staring at him. 

“My birthday isn’t until winter,” he responds, changing his focus from the prismatic shard to you and back to the prismatic shard. “Um, thank you.” you give him a light smile. 

“Well, I’ve gotta head in for the night,” you respond. “I’ll see you?”

“Yeah,” he breathlessly says, “I’ll see you.” 

When he goes back inside, Abby and Sam are gushing over the prismatic shard. They think it's a form of courtship. It couldn’t be, because you’re just the nice farmer who gives thoughtful gifts to everyone. That’s it.

He’s fucked.

credits to @saradika-graphics for the dividers <33

[itsabouttimex2]

Static Shock

(Platonic Yandere Tenna x Reader)

The controller has gone cold.

How long have you been holding it?

It’s starting to hurt. It feels stuck, like the chill has frosted it to the flesh of your fingers.

Not just “room-temperature cold” or “unplugged cold”. Not “like no-one’s touched this thing in years” cold.

“Left outside in late December” cold.

You fiddle the right joystick until the playable character, an 8-bit approximation of you, stumbles forward and onto the next screen. It flickers, for a moment, and the loading screen, pitch with the exception of one white circle, glints.

How long was it on-screen?

Long enough. Your reflection appears in the black, and you see a tired, gone-pale face. Gaunt.

How long have you been here?

“Sorry for the hold-up, folks!”

Mr. Tenna’s voice is electronically sounded, equal parts digital sugar and crackling tin foil. It splits the silence like tissue paper.

All angular charm and outdated commercial jingle energy, he’s beside you now, standing beside the couch in his cherry-red suit and black pants, giving a static-stiff smile, a frame-perfect loop of corporate cheer, one gloved hand on his hip and the other pointing straight out at you.

“Say, you’re lookin’ a little dim there, buckaroo. Pale in the pixels! When’s the last time you slept? Ate? Took a breather?”

You wouldn’t know. You couldn’t know. How could you? In his desperate attempt to maintain an all-encompassing facade of control over his little slice of this world of shadows, Mr. Tenna has gone out of his way to remove every last aspect of “time”, from analog chronograph to pixel hourglass to pastiche sundial.

All that remained were pixel clocks, built for flashy, show-stopping countdowns.

Time, passing not in hours, but in segments. Blocks of broadcasting, neat and clean.

So you can’t give an answer, aside from “more than a dozen game boards”. Not that he was actually waiting for one, anyhow.

“Well, have I got just the thing for little ol’ you! Do you find yourself craving simpler days? Longing for a taste of your old life? Of those sweet, careless nights spent special programs made just for you?”

His hands come together in a soundless burst of static, a resounding, snapping “clap”. Your vision whites out for a moment. When it clears, the room has changed, and you’re sitting in a high-backed chair, pressed into crushed-velvet cushioning. The table seems to run lengthwise for miles, but by width is thin, barely a foot from start to finish.

“You liked this one when you were little, right?”

Mr. Tenna asks, sitting in the chair parallel to yours, impossibly light for his size, as if he’s made of broadcast signals and stage lights.

“…liked… what…? There’s not anything-“

His screen twitches into a smear of static, just for a second. It resets to display his usual smile, only offset by a bundle of nerves popped into the corner, a vague approximation of weary frustration.

“It’s coming, kiddo! Don’t go getting your pixels in a twist!”

…it seems a little unfair that you’re getting scolded for asking a very relevant question in regards to his own prodding.

There’s not time to complain. There’s never time to complain.

Two of Mr. Tenna’s Pippins- no, three, stacked together to give the facade of filling out a snazzy black suit. One Pippin for each leg, and one for the tuxedo. It’d be cute, under any other circumstance. They’re rolling along a meal trolley, polished to a gleam.

They roll (they’re trying so hard… but even the one on top can’t see past the cart) the cart up to the table- wheels clicking neatly in a rhythm, fuzzy ka-click after fuzzy ka-click, like old static that learned how to march. It only stops when the bar of the trolley smacks into the table. The platter- there’s just the one- it slides off the carrier, and across the table.

The Pippins skitter away, eyes wide. They don’t bother to grab the trolley.

Mr. Tenna’s hand stops it from going past you, and he gives an exaggerated half-bow as a sort of over-the-top presentation.

It’s… whatever it is, it’s covered by a silver-garnished cloche, shaped like your captor’s head, complete with antenna and pointy nose. It’s… “cute”, sort of, but lacks a convenient lifting spot. For lack of holes, steam spills from… the top, some form of cartoon logic that only the Dark World could get away with.

“Go on, sweetheart! Pop that shiny bad boy open before our viewers fall asleep!”

The lights dim. A spotlight hits the tray. He leans in close.

You reach for the cloche.

With some effort, you press your still-freezing fingers into the seam where the lid meets the plate, and with a sharp squeal of static- like an old dial-up modem trying to scream- it lifts.

There’s a square of black plastic, sealed with semi-permeable cling mesh.

A… a TV dinner.

The kind you buy a child. The kind that used to come with a dessert (chocolate pudding with chalky star sprinkles, or a giant chunk of brownie) in the top right corner, half-frozen and half-pocket of plasma no matter how long or quick you microwaved it.

Your throat tightens at the sight, each portion of the tray a little harder to look at.

“Ta-da!”

Mr. Tenna grins, spreading his arms with the grandeur of a magician who just pulled trauma from a top hat.

“Just like Mom never had to make, huh?”

Even through the moisture gathered below the translucent packaging, you can see four sections. Top right with a dark chocolate brownie. Top left with four soggy chicken nuggets. Stretching three-fourths of the bottom is a chunky swath of mac-and-artificial cheese, nuclear yellow. Bottom right, a tiny pocket, holding two plastic packages. One is a tube of squeezable chocolate fudge, and the other is a packet of unbranded ketchup.

It’s very familiar.

“Familiar” is too kind a word to describe this feeling, though.

You’re not sure when the shaking started. There’s an invisible tremor that runs through your jaw, rolls down both shoulders, and blooms out from your spine.

You remember the taste of powdered cheese and chicken skin, with a mild heat that never reached to the center.

You remember eating every bite because no one would be there to make you something else if you didn’t.

Lonely nights. Screaming fits. Tearful meals.

Wetness builds behind your eyes.

Mr. Tenna, smile gone sharp, leans in to pop the tray open. A mixture of smells (you want to say “waft”. that’s too gentle. so-) escape the tray.

“You used to love these, kiddo! What’s the hold-up?”

The room feels smaller. The ceiling drops closer. The crushed-velvet imbedded in the chair is crushing back.

“Go on,” the showman says again, more quietly this time. The artificial sugar is dripping out of his voice, leaving something bitter. “Just a bite. For old time’s sake. For me. For your old pal, Tenna.”

You want to tell him you can’t. The words do not find your throat.

His fight tightens around the tray like an electric vice, tearing the mesh so hard that macaroni sloshes against the side, spattering melted cheese onto the table.

His volume pitches back to the regular booming crackle, forcing you to cower away and cover both ears.

His free hand; veined with frustration lines that pop through even his gloves, grabs the spork packaged with the meal.

He lifts the plastic scooper like a spear, and sharply skewers it into the mound of sticky yellow paste with too much force, little rounded tines bending under the pressure.

There’s a smear, and a static crackle, and he’s on you.

One hand conforms to the curve of your throat, thumb pinned to your chin to hold your lips apart.

He laughs.

Not a show laugh. Not a cheery “ain’t-I-a-stinker” chuckle that’s backed by manufactured studio applause and canned jingles.

This one’s… raw. Human.

And it’s horrible.

“Aww, kiddo, I forgot! You need me to show you how well I can take care of you!”

He shovels the spoonful in, snarling in frustration as it smears over your cheeks, dribbling from your lips.

You try to turn away, hot tears bubbling over until they’re spilling down your face. They mix with the cheese, and pass onto Tenna’s red sleeve, staining it. If he notices, he doesn’t care.

His grip tightens.

Another lump is forced into your throat. Then another. Three. Four. Five.

Your body revolts, stomach heaving in rebellion, mouth twitching against the artificial salt and curdled nostalgia. Every bite is a battlefield, your gag reflex against his insistence, your blurry thoughts against his jagged focus.

There’s a very notable gag, bulging your throat uncomfortably.

He pauses, only pulling back to survey your face with an eyeless stare, snaring a cloth to scrub your face with. He folds it over to conceal the macaroni mess, then, more gently, dabs at your tears.

The moment doesn’t last long, because the napkin goes into the bin, and then he’s got a chunk of brownie on the spork, hissing with heat.

“You will eat what I made for you. And you’re gonna eat- Until. You. Like. It. And if you don’t like it the first time, buckaroo? We’ve got seconds.”

[buckets-and-trees]

Red, White & True: Inauguration Day in Washington, DC [bonus part]

Characters/Pairings: Steve Rogers x curvy Millennial Female!Reader Word Count: 3k Summary: The last morning you'll spend together before Steve officially becomes the President of the United States of America.

Content/Warnings: brief political logitics; married/established relationship; SMUT (breast play, cock stroking, clit play/vaginal fingering, unprotected vaginal intercourse)

Notes: This takes place in a post-Endgame scenario where Steve stays and generally most of TFATWS happened.

Additional Notes: 4th of July just called for something Presidential, right? I CERTAINLY NEEDED IT ANYWAY, GIVEN HOW WE'RE SLIDING EVER FURTHER INTO A FASCIST REGIME.

Series Masterlist

↠ Main Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

[JANUARY 20 - EARLY MORNING - BLAIR HOUSE, DC]

The morning of inauguration, the future is a question pressed to your chest and your first answer is Steve’s soft snoring: a tender, arrhythmic little click from somewhere in the roof of his mouth. It is still dark, but you prop yourself up on one elbow—the official time on the old analog clock points to 4:33, which gives you one and a half hours before the first round of ceremonial suits and ties and hair spray and Secret Service. One and a half hours to be yourself, or the version of yourself that belongs only in this bed, in Blair House, in this liminal pre-inaugural morning.

It’s still dark outside, but there’s enough light for you to see Steve’s outline, hunched under the white comforter, so familiar it makes you ache with the love you’ve forged for each other these past months. One of his bare shoulders is exposed to the room, and he has a hand tucked under the pillow like a child’s. The room is a little cold, but just the right amount of chilly to make burrowing in the bed wonderfully comfortable.

Last night you’d imagined yourself lying awake, mind racing through anxious what-ifs, fueled by nerves and anticipation, but exhaustion knocked out both you and Steve as soon as you hit the mattress. Now, in the unspeakable clarity before this January dawn, you had woken up at three, then again at four, and again now at four-thirty filled with a nervous, effervescent energy that seems to fizz up from your sternum.

Your thoughts oscillate between the day ahead, what will be said, the way your parents will be watching you from the front row of the West Front, and whether you’ve accidentally scheduled a diplomatic disaster for the first week. You have to pee, but you don’t want to wake Steve, so you lie there, twitching your feet under the covers, letting your mind race laps around the room.

You try to focus on the quiet, the hum of the ancient radiator, the whoosh of a snowplow in the distance. You want a few more minutes of this—this intimate, unpolished moment. The version of yourself that is not yet airbrushed for cameras or press or public. You’re not dreading that—it’s not something you love, but something you have embraced as a core part of basically every day for the next four years. It’s part and parcel for the roles you and Steve will play as President and First Lady of the United States of America.

You trace one finger lightly over Steve’s arm, studying his face for another moment, soft and so peaceful in sleep that you don’t see the soon-to-be President in his features at all.

You shift, careful not to wake him, untangling your legs from his, and shift out from the cocoon of the covers. You pad to the window and look out. Pennsylvania Avenue is empty, except for a few silent trucks and a pair of bundled-up secret service agents walking in slow, practiced arcs. The city is still, held in the hush of a stage play waiting for the curtain to rise. But you only linger for a moment, bladder insisting you do what you left the comfort of the bed for.

In the bathroom, the old tile is freezing, so you hop to the rug in front of the sink and from there to the rug in front of the toilet, before taking a seat to relieve yourself.

You flush, wash your hands, then examine your face in the mirrors above the sink. You still look like you, only a little thinner in the face and more crumpled and with a sort of furtive edge to your eyes. You practice a few neutral expressions, then a sequence of tiny smiles, each one slightly different in candor, grit, capacity for quiet hope. The last one, unexpectedly, looks like your mother. You almost laugh, but then the heavy significance of this day—of all you are meant to carry—presses down again, an affectionate, back-breaking hand.

On your way back to the bedroom, you take the long route, stopping at the sitting room that overlooks Lafayette Park. A single square of light glows from the house across the street. You imagine another family, maybe a judge or a senator or a career bureaucrat, awake already, assembling themselves for the spectacle, the pageantry of transition.

You leave the window, shuffle back into the bedroom, mindful to keep the door from squeaking, and slide into the warm spot you left in the bed.

But your return to the mattress must have alerted his body, because Steve stirs. He’s already reaching for you as you shimmy in as close to him as you can get, pressing into his chest.

He wraps an arm around your waist and holds you in a loose, sleepy clutch, the familiarity of his touch soothing the static inside your head.

“Can’t sleep?” he mumbles into your collarbone, his voice thick, warm with sleep. “You okay?”

“Too wound up.” You nuzzle into the crook of his neck, inhale the mixture of fabric softener and the musky undertone his skin always carries. There is comfort here. Something outside of the press of the day, something that will always be here, when it’s just the two of you.

“Makes sense,” he says, not opening his eyes. “You gonna run for the hills before the swearing-in?”

You laugh, but the sound falls apart a tiny bit with the nerves for the enormity of the day. “Only if you come with me.”

He grins, lips barely moving. “I hid from a hundred and seventeen countries before when we broke the Sokovia Accords. I could probably do it again.”

You nestle into him a little deeper and close your eyes, letting the heat of him drown out everything else. The thickness of his bicep, the soft bristle of his facial hair. “People didn’t know you adopted the full beard back then. Now they know you too well with both, don’t know if we could hide you at all.”

He chuckles. “You really don’t think the sunglasses and baseball cap work? When you don’t have Secret Service officers milling around, I promise I really can blend in to a crowd.”

“Doubtful,” you grunt, then you shift, turning over to your other side, and he pulls your back flush to his chest. “But I love you anyway,” you add.

“You better, Mrs. Rogers,” quips, accompanying it with a nip at your neck.

You grin and sink further into his warmth,

A silence settles over you—comfortable and humming with the things you’re about to do, together and separately. It’s a prelude to standing, to showering, to the moment when you become the couple every American will be watching to officially lead the nation, and, to some extent, the world.

Steve’s hand drifts across your belly, then down to your hip, thumb tracing a faint line above the waistband of your pajamas. For a moment, you both lie there, in the dark, with his hand just resting. But then you feel the smallest pressure, an invitation, not insistent but certain, and you respond by shifting your weight back against him, aligning your hips to his, letting your body say yes.

He kisses your nape. The kiss is a soft vow, a confidence, not meant for you so much as something he needs to give. You turn your face to his, and, eyes still shut, he finds your mouth, sleep-sweet and slow. He tastes like toothpaste left from before bed and the sleep that has settled over the past few hours.

You move together with the wordless patience of people who know each other’s every story, every scar, every morning need. You breathe in tandem with each other. You slip your hand over his, guiding his palm up under your shirt, where the heat of his skin makes you shiver. He hums, a quiet yes, and cups your breast gently, thumb sweeping in a lazy arc that makes the nerves under your skin spark.

He shifts, propping himself half upright, then tugs the hem of your shirt higher, not urgently but with the slow, inevitable surety of a tide. He bends to kiss the hollow of your shoulder. Outside, a snowplow makes a pass down the avenue, and then you feel the world recede again, replaced by the hush of this room, this shared body heat, the way you fit so easily against each other.

You reach for him under the covers, your hand sliding beneath the waistband of his boxer briefs, finding the warm, heavy shape of him, half-hard already. He exhales, a sound that is halfway between a sigh and a laugh, and buries his nose in your hair while his hand comes to rest on your breast, thumb brushing over your nipple until it hardens into a stiff peak, and you bite down on a whimper, not wanting to break the hush of the room. He presses himself into your hand, hips flexing.

His lips find your jaw, then your mouth, then—deliberately—your ear. “God, you feel good,” he whispers, and you squeeze him in reply.

You stroke him slow, base to tip, the way you know he likes best—not fast, not teasing, just the kind of steady attention that says, we’re not going anywhere except together. Steve’s hand leaves your breast, sliding down your torso, pushing at the waistband of your pajamas and underwear together, one patient tug. You arch to let him remove them, and the cold air prickles against your bare skin for an instant until he draws you into the warmth of his body, the length of his thigh fitted into yours, the press of him behind you.

Your heart stutters, not from nerves about the outside world, but from the immediate intimacy of this, the soft noise he makes when you squeeze, the tremor in his breath. You feel yourself open, your body responding in ways of familiarity that he’s forged with your body. His hand slips back to your mound, over the soft trail of hair, and when his fingers finally find your clit, you gasp into the darkness, eager for the more you know you’re about to share with each other.

He knows your edges and soft spots, and he traces them, slow as a sunrise, until you are trembling with the effort not to cry out. The world has shrunk to his hand and his mouth at your ear and the slick, steady rhythm he sets with his fingers, mirroring your stroking of his cock, the ache of you gathering and cresting and threatening to spill even as you try to bring him along with you.

“Steve—” you whisper, and it’s a warning. It’s all you can manage. Your hips jerk into his hand but he holds you, palm firm, thumb working gentle, precise circles until you are nothing but nerve endings and need. When he feels you start to break, he slows, takes his hand away, and you make a noise, wounded, desperate.

He hushes you with a kiss to your temple, then, in the impossibly gentle way of his, he takes your hip in his hand and rolls you onto your stomach in one practiced movement. You catch your breath, pulse hammering in your ears.

He presses a line of kisses down the nape of your neck as he settles between your legs, his body a careful, considerate weight on top of you. In this position, your hips and shoulders pressed into the mattress, you feel owned and protected all at once; the covers thrown off your hips, the air cool on your bare skin, his hand warm as it presses the small of your back. You arch into his touch, the need gathering in you like a ripple, and he fills you with one slow, deliberate thrust, the stretch making you moan, this time into the pillow so as not to summon the world beyond the bedroom door.

You don’t speak, but you don’t have to. The rhythm is slow, almost reverent, Steve’s breath a steady cadence in your ear. Your body takes him in, and in, and in, every movement of his hips amplifying your own. He holds you by the waist, his big hands spanning the space with authority, fingers gliding over the soft swells of your sides. When you push back against him, slick and greedy, he groans your name, a prayer, a punctuation mark on a sentence only you two get to write together.

It’s not about urgency—neither of you are in a hurry to get to the end of this final morning—but about the gathering heat, the slow burn of inevitability. Your fingers twist the sheet in small, desperate vines, and Steve’s thrusts grow deeper, more sure, as if setting a rhythm you will carry into the rest of this day, this term, this life.

You feel the trembling begin at the base of your spine, a wildfire racing up, and it’s all you can do not to shout when the climax finally rips through you, white-hot and blinding. He holds you in place as you ride it out, hands gentle on your back as he bends to press his lips to your shoulder blade. It’s a pause, a moment where the world is so perfectly, privately yours. But Steve does not stop his slow strokes, only slows as your aftershocks thrum through you.

And then he begins to thrust more deeply. You hear his breathing change, his need mounting, and you reach back, finding the knob of his hip, dragging him deeper. “Don’t hold back,” you murmur, almost begging, your voice shaking with the tide in you.

He lets go. He presses you into the mattress, body shaking with the effort to stay quiet, and you feel him pulse deep inside, the rush and heat of him. The point of contact is so intimate it defies language, and you lie there, letting him chase his finish, letting him collapse on top of you, his weight both shelter and gravity. For a long while you breathe that way—him on you, half inside still, both of you trembling and sweating and insensible to everything except the animal comfort of the other. A president and a first lady, bare-assed and boneless, tangled in the damp, unremarkable sheets of a government guest bed.

Eventually, the cold air gets to you both; you wriggle out from under him and fumble for the comforter, pulling it over yourselves in a cocoon. You’re sticky and sweat-slicked and probably smell like sex, but the next shower you take will be in a different life, a different set of expectations. For now, you burrow into each other and, at least for now, the spinning carousel of your thoughts has been slowed.

Steve’s chest rises and falls against your back, his breathing a lullaby. You close your eyes and let the hush stretch. The world will come for you soon enough: the tidal wave of handlers and stylists and makeup artists, the whirl of press and protocol of it all. In a handful of hours, you’ll be standing on the West Front of the Capitol, wrapped in wool and nerves, the eyes of history and the world watching you.

But for now, it’s just you and Steve, two bodies in a bed, building a myth that nobody else gets to see.

You doze for what feels like moments but when the alarm goes off at six, you’ve slept just enough to feel the loss of it. Steve is up first, already leaning over the bed, stretching his shoulder like an old football player. His hair is crushed flat on one side, sticking out at odd angles, which makes you want to muss it more. He grins at you, a sheepish, crooked smile, like he still can’t believe any of this is happening. You look at him and know, neither can you.

“You want the shower first, or shall I?” he offers, with the chivalry of a doomed man.

“Together,” you say, and he beams, but you really only want him nearby, to catch the fragments of this morning before the world scoops them away.

The shower is small and institutional. The water pressure is almost dangerous. You squeeze together under the spray, laughing as you dodge the freezing mist, as you both nearly slip on the porcelain of he tub.

It’s domestic and clumsy and sweet, and when you emerge, clean and a little pink from the heat, Steve wraps you in one of the thick government-issued towels and swaddles you like a pastry. You dry off in the guest bathroom, side by side, brushing your teeth and trading wry glances in the mirror before donning robes, knowing you’re nearly to the point that staff and stylists will invade.

By the time you’re back in the bedroom, there are footsteps in the hallway—heavier than civilian tread, the Security Service cadence you’ve learned to recognize.

“Ready?” you ask, stepping to reach for the handle of the door to let people in.

Steve catches your other hand and tugs you back to him, capturing your lips with his for one final private moment. You melt into him, returning the kiss.

When he pulls back, both of his hands are cupping your face, and the warmth in his eyes, in his smile, it radiates trough you, and you hope you’re giving every bit of it back to him tenfold.

Then, finally, he presses a quick peck to your lips, and nods. “Let’s do this.”

I LOVED REVISITING THESE TWO, AND I HOPE IT WAS LOVELY FOR YOU, TOO! I had written bits of this in my head before I'd even finished the series. 🥰

I had something else in mind that I thought would happen here, but... the muse said tuck it away for later, so, it's been tucked into the vault.

↠ Main Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

I do not do tag lists, but FOLLOW @buckets-and-stories and TURN ON NOTIFICATIONS to be updated any time I publish a new work!

[niteshade925]

2025 China (1): Breakfast and Home Cooking; outline of the plan for this series at the end

Finally the series begins! Let's start with some food pics

Since some of the restaurants I went to were the same ones as last year, I'm going to skip over those, but the one thing I cannot skip is a good old Tianjin breakfast of youtiao/油条 (in Tianjin they are called guozi/馃子), jianbingguozi/煎饼果子, and doufunao/豆腐脑 (the savoury version):

To clear up some confusion over the naming, all desserts made of dough used to be called guozi/馃子 (饣being the Simplified food radical, 飠is the Traditional version of the same radical), but now the character 馃 is gradually replaced with 果 in common usage, so when you see 果 being used to refer to anything made of dough, it's probably actually 馃. Also nowadays the word guozi/馃子 generally refers exclusively to youtiao. This also applies to jianbingguozi/煎饼果子, which should be written as 煎饼馃子, because the classic version of jianbingguozi has a guozi or youtiao folded inside the jianbing. This version here in the picture has guobier/果篦儿 inside, which is also fried dough but in thin crispy sheets, so the 果 here is also the same as 馃. Guobier is called baocui/薄脆 outside of Tianjin.

And then the not-authentic version of the Tianjin guobacai/锅巴菜 (in Tianjin dialect this is pronounced gabacai/嘎巴菜). It's not authentic because I don't like cilantro lol. In essence though this is basically savoury doufunao with jianbing strips instead of tofu, kind of analogous to the German frittatensuppe. Both jianbingguozi and guobacai are variations that stemmed from the Shandong jianbing.

Left: a Tianjin dessert named gaogan/糕干, a cake made of steamed rice flour and various dried fruits/sweet red bean paste.

Right: zongzi/粽子, just in time for Duanwu Festival/端午节 (aka Dragon Boat Festival/龙舟节). The color of the string tells you what the filling is, but in general zongzi in northern China are sweet and are served as a dessert. In other regions (mostly southern China) zongzi may be salty or savoury and may contain meats like cured ham, and these zongzi can be served as a part of a meal.

And here's some home cooking. This is dalumian/打卤面, or noodles served with a sauce and fresh vegetables, here the sauce is a savoury sauce simmered with meat, eggs, mushrooms, other veggies. In Tianjin dalumian can also be called laomian/捞面, and may be eaten on birthdays since long noodles symbolize longevity. There's also other stir fried dishes on the side here.

And some plans for the 2025 China series:

This time the series will be mostly museum pictures, so the food posts will be more spaced out in between posts about exhibitions. Organization wise, the 2024 China series was mostly organized in a chronological order, but this time I'm going to mix things up a bit to even out the pacing a little and give myself a breather (some posts are way more time consuming to research and write than others). I went to Shanghai and then Beijing this year, but I'll begin with Beijing since I didn't finish going through the Ancient China exhibition of the National Museum of China last year.

For now, the general plan will be:

National Museum of China/中国国家博物馆 (Ancient China exhibition/古代中国展)

The Palace Museum/故宫博物院 (architecture, the Rejoicing in Woods and Springs/乐林泉展 exhibition, the Ceramics Gallery/陶瓷馆, the All Beings Thrive in Harmony/万物和生展 paintings exhibition, the Treasure Gallery/珍宝馆, and the Gallery of Clocks/钟表馆)

Yonghe Temple/雍和宫

Prince Kung's Palace Museum/恭王府博物馆 (mostly architecture and scenery)

Chinese Archaeological Museum/中国考古博物馆

China Maritime Museum/中国航海博物馆 (in Shanghai)

The posts about food and scenery will be placed in between all of these museum posts

Also I'm still busy for the rest of July so there will be 1 to 2 posts every 2 weeks for July, and then I'll figure out a schedule after July ends.

[mygnolia]

love is in the (chilly) air | psh

pair: figure skater!sunghoon x gn!reader (inspired by en-o-clock ep 20) | g: fluff, bit of angst, comfort, humor! figure skating au  | wc: 1.6k | cw: insecurities about sunghoon choosing you or his love for the ice, no injuries but a soft landing in the snow, cheesy cheesy couples (why can’t we have nice things)

a/n: if you recognize this it's because i revamped it! I wanted to add more, and change a few things. still a personal fave <3

“I’m going to look like an idiot, hoon.” you mumble, fumbling with the zipper of your jacket before looking up to witness his reaction. 

your boyfriend tries his best to convince you to join him. 

“you won’t,” he argues, and you feel your heart flutter. “you never have.” sunghoon’s words are spoken in earnest, and while they make you realize how lucky you are, they do little to calm your nerves. 

still, you doubtfully consider your choices, and sunghoon can sense your hesitation from a mile away. “okay, how about this,” he proposes, holding both of your hands in his and leaning down to make eye contact with you. “i’ll show you the basics, and if you still don’t want to, we can go back home.” you honestly don’t want to go home now that you’re already bundled in your crisp clothes- you want to see sunghoon having the time of his life, but you also want to preserve your dignity.

this idea is better, you think, and after what feels like years, you nod. a bright grin lights up on the boy’s face, and he excitedly drags out outside to the sidewalk. “it’s snowing.” you mutter, trying to find any excuse to go back. 

“if snow was…” sunghoon trails off, letting out an excited ‘oh!’ once he knows what he would have said. “if snow was an indicator for how much i love you, it would be a blizzard in my heart.” he declares, smiling as he drags you along the bustling streets. he seems proud of himself for an analogy so romantic, and you hand it to him in your head. he knows just how to make you feel special all the time. 

you tell him, however, for the sake of having fun, “for me, it would be midsummer.”

“you wound me.”

“it’s what i do best.” you deadpan, smiling nonetheless. 

sunghoon frowns dramatically and lets go of your gloved hand to cross his arms. “you’re terrible!” he retorts, starting to walk faster and leaving a trail of booted footprints. “all i want to do is shower you in my love and affection and then you pretend you’re not in love with me.” he declares, placing the false narrative that you do not reciprocate his feelings. you smile at his antics, reaching to fluff up his hair before grabbing his bicep, intertwining your fingers and leaning on his shoulder when you finally catch up to him.

“i do love you, sunghoon.” you murmur. the boy beside you smiles when he hears it. 

“i know.” he says, a smug look on his face. “I just wanted to hear you say it.” 

scowling, you take your hand out of his pocket. “you m-“ sunghoon shushes you immediately, raising his eyebrows as he watches your confused expression morph into a concerned one. 

“what?” 

he smiles before kissing your forehead. “i just wanted to say i love you too, silly.” he rolls his eyes, and continues along the path. 

by the time you reach the park, and venture past the playground to the lake that’s frozen over, sunghoon reaches inside the bag he’s been carrying and pulls out two pairs of ice skates, with a mischievous glint in his eye. “come on.” he tells you, and starts to put on the skates as quickly as he can. “you promised.” you didn’t, but you also can’t afford to see your boyfriend so dejected if you disagree. 

the ice makes you feel like bambi. how does sunghoon do this three times a week? he grabs your flailing arms, laugh as he holds you close. “i got you.” he reassures, a happy grin on his features. when you look up, you realize that there’s nothing sunghoon loves more in this world than you, and the ice. 

ever since the daunting young age of six, the boy’s found solace in the frozen surfaces he glides across. but amongst the trophies, medals, and perfect scores across the board, however, he’s found room in his heart to accommodate you, someone who he can’t remember a life without, and as he patiently guides you across the slippery planes of his love and adoration, you can’t help but fall more in love with him. 

“hey! are you even skating anymore?” he playfully scolds you, letting go of your arms unexpectedly. the lack of support renders you a fumbling mess as your shift in balance almost causes you to topple over, face first into the frozen water. instead, you fall towards your boyfriend, who holds you tight and lets you regain your balance. “easy there, tiger. don’t want you to ruin that pretty face of yours.” 

“oh my god, i think i just saw my life flash before my eyes.” you tell him, ghastly look on your face, and sunghoon giggles at your reaction. he smooths out your hair the best he can with his gloves on, running his fingers through your locks and stopping to pat your head. 

he switches to a different topic. “are you okay, though? you were zoning out and i wasn’t sure what to do.” he confesses sheepishly. your eyes widen before you nod vigorously. 

“yes-yes, i’m fine.” you reassure him, but your words seem to fall on deaf ears as he looks at you worriedly. “it’s embarrassing if i tell you what i was thinking about!” you defend. 

“say it.” he prompts you. you sigh defeatedly. 

“i just think you’re so cool across the ice, hoon, and sometimes i wonder why you decided to even love me when all you needed was figure skating. like, you’ve gone for so long doing this,” you stop to motion at the ground where the indents lay in the marks of the ice. “and you’ve perfected it, so sometimes, it feels like i have this unknowing competition between me and skating, and i’m worried you’ll have to choose someday.”

he hums at your words, soaking in your insecurities before reaching to hold you close. “i think that i’ll never be able to choose. you make me happy in a different way than figure skating does, y’know? I feel passionate when i skate, and i feel like i’m always chasing towards something better.” he pauses, and his hot breath materializes in the white air. “with you, though, i feel like i’ve finally been able to sit down, and take a break. i feel like you make me realize it is not so hard to be with the thing you love, and of course our relationship takes effort. but it’s a different kind of effort. it’s not the effort I have to force myself to wake up to do sometimes. i’ve skated for years on end, but you make me feel whole, you make me understand some of the best things i can about myself, and make me feel like i can carry the world in the weird way that ice can’t. loving you is one of the easiest things i’ve done.” he says it all in this genuine way that you know and love about him. sunghoon’s an open book- you know when he’s mad but you know when he’s honest, and right now is one of those moments where you’ve seen him bear his heart on his sleeve, just for you. your love for him is boundless, and you feel like you can never truly stop caring for a boy like him. 

sunghoon’s cute when he rambles. sunghoon’s also the love of your life, and sunghoon makes you feel special. all you can do is smile through your teary eyes and kiss him as the snow slowly descends from the sky and you loop your arms around his neck. “thank you,” you whisper, the white air puffing into his cheeks. “thank you, sunghoon.” it’s a tender feeling, to hold him so close, and to feel so warm despite the cold weather.

there’s just one key component you’re missing. your balance here is terrible. 

you let out a yelp as you feel yourself start to tip over and bring sunghoon down with you- the boy scrambling to ground himself as he eases your fall. thankfully, you land in the snow, and both the cushioning and your boyfriend’s grip eases your head on the way down. “alright.” you say, wiping off the snow that’s gotten on you. “i’m done for the day. or the month, or year.” 

you sit on the ground and watch sunghoon travel across the frozen surface, with an elated smile on his face and a professionalism that meshes together into an adorable childlike wonder. you marvel at his skill, eyes following every twist and turn, even as he does a triple axel out of nowhere. “that’s not fair!” you cry out. “you’re just showing off, now.” he laughs before doing another spin. 

the boy makes his way over, catching his breath as he sits beside you. he lets his head fall into your lap, and you take the opportunity to comb through his hair. “yes.” he says out of nowhere, and you furrow your eyebrows in confusion. he continues. “i was showing off.”

-

send an ask to join my perm taglist!

[thescarletnargacuga]

Could we have some canon digital circus showtime cuddles pretty please? 💕 :3

TO HAVE AND TO HOLD

A SHOWTIME ONESHOT

WARNING: none

~~~

"CONFOUND IT ALL!" Caine threw his arms up in defeat, scattering the papers from his desk. He slumped in his plush office chair, limply hanging his arms over the sides in an exaggerated sigh.

The small out-of-bounds office was cluttered with balled and torn paper. A single desk lamp dimly lit the small room alone. Caine's red coat hung over the back of the chair, his tie undone and hanging loosely around his neck.

"....this is it. I've lost it. I can't come up with ANYTHING!" Caine sobbed and flopped forward to face plant the desk. Another handful of digital paper fluttered away. The ticking analog clock that never changed was the only ambient noise outside Caine's wail of surrender. He silently let the rhythm of time pass as he emptied his mind. A moment of uninterrupted peace was what he nee-

"Hey, Caine!" Bubble burst from the overflowing wastebasket.

He didn't even jump. "....what is it, Bubble?" He grumbled from between his teeth.

"Pomni's asking about you. She wants to know if you're busy." Bubble licked up a few crumbled papers and munched them like popcorn.

"I'm not anymore."

"Great! I'll send her in!"

Caine sat up quickly, paper stuck to his face. "WAIT-!" Before he could snap, Bubble popped and Pomni suddenly took their place.

"Woah!" Pomni plopped butt first into the wastebasket. "Ugh, I'll never get used to that." She tried standing but she was stuck in a weird sitting position.

Caine flew over his desk and held out his hands for Pomni to grab. "Sorry about that. Bubble doesn't do a lot of teleport swapping, they don't understand gravity."

Pomni took Caine's hand and unstuck herself. "Neither do you, but you don't drop us in without warning. ...Most days." She smiled lightly at Caine. "Hey, I just wanted to see if you were done with adventure planning. Everyone else has gone to bed and I would love to have your company tonight."

Caine gently squeezed her hand. "My dear, nothing would make me happier, but I can't. I'm...I haven't... actually finished. I haven't even started." He looked down and gestured to the messy office. "Nothing's working. Nothing's making sense. Or it's old hat. Or predictable. Or cliché. Or just BAD!" The office walls glitched lightly.

"Easy, Caine," Pomni soothed. "What's not working?"

"The writing!" Caine kicked his leg. It didn't come in contact with anything, but dozens of papers went flying anyway.

"You actually script the adventures?" Pomni half mumbled, in awe of the forest's worth of paper.

Caine didn't acknowledge the comment. "Every adventure is supposed to be immersive and enthralling! There is a story to be told in every one of them! But...lately, I just...nothing's coming to me." He crossed his arms and curled his legs in, floating in a tight ball.

Pomni really took in the room. Even though Caine didn't need to actually write anything down, he bothered to visualize his process anyway. The walls were covered in large graph paper featuring designs of adventure settings she hadn't seen before. Stacks of standard paper were covered in indecipherable writing. If she looked close enough, it was in very tiny binary. "So, what you're saying is, you have writer's block."

Caine didn't respond, only curled in on himself tighter in midair.

"When was the last time you took a break?" Pomni laid a gentle hand on Caine's shoulder.

The tense ringmaster unwound immediately, practically melting at her touch. "I don't. I can't. Too much relies on me. I must entertain. I must. Lest I fail my directive." He turned to her and clasped both her hands with his. "But I've gone through every programmed scenario, even randomized. I've done my best to piece new ones together, and that's worked for a while but now...I have nothing. My creativity is gone."

Pomni pulled Caine closer and leaned her forehead to his top teeth. "I don't think so. You're tired. You need to take a moment to not write. Not think about adventures."

"But the others-"

"Don't worry about them. You have enough backlogged adventures to last them a while. They can just do an adventure they've already done. They can wait."

"....they'll be disappointed." Caine's voice was almost a whisper.

Pomni pulled Caine in for a hug. "They won't be, I promise. You've been coming up with new adventures almost everyday for a long time. On top of your full-time job of maintaining the circus. Nobody can go 100% all the time. Not even you."

Caine held Pomni close. "How are you so good at this?"

"Much like you, I like a project." She smirked.

"Hey!" Caine held back a laugh. "I'll have you know that I am a fully capable AI that always has his ducks in a row!" He snapped and a variety of farm animals appeared out of thin air, crowding the office. "...I meant to do that." He sheepishly yoinked Pomni with him up through the roof and they were in Pomni's room. "There. Much better."

Pomni shoved Caine to the bed. "You. Rest. Now."

"Yes, ma'am." He snapped and his tux turned into pajamas. "What pattern should I wear tonight? Teeth? Yoga sharks? Egg toasters?"

"How about something simple? We're trying to give you a break, remember? Nothing crazy." Pomni settled under the sheets, waiting for him to join her.

"Simple..? Hmm, I can't remember the last time I did something simple." He snapped and his pajamas turned blue with horizontal stripes.

"Maybe that's something we'll work on tomorrow. Get you back to basics. You've been caught up in this whirlwind of creativity that keeps building up on itself like a sandcastle of insanity. Maybe it's time to start fresh."

"Maybe." He shuffled into bed and hugged Pomni close. "Thank you, my dear. I don't think I would have left that office if you hadn't come calling."

Pomni held him tight and kissed the bottom of his lower jaw. "I'm just glad Bubble listened to me. They can be a bit... frustrating."

"Heh, don't I know it." He lightly nuzzled to the top of Pomni's head. "You're wearing the perfume I gave you."

"Mmhm, I love it."

"I'm glad you like it." Caine took a deep breath and relaxed against the love of his life. Holding her made the buzzing code urging his to work go quiet. He could not only think, he could empty his mind entirely. It was peaceful.

She was his peace.

[blackdollette]

hi hi :3 can i request something with spencer after a particularly agonizing case and he’s just being stand offish and a little rude with just a smidge of fluff at the end bc they talk it out or something ^.^

this request is longggg overdue :((

"if i had my way, you would always stay." | s. reid

tomorrow never came. - lana del rey

fill out the taglist form! : @thirtyratsinasuit @auggiethecreator @oliviah-25 @sleepysongbirdsings @pleasantwitchgarden @emma-e-a @bellasprettywords

⊹₊⋆ pairing:bau!female!reader x spencer

⊹₊⋆ word count: 960

⊹₊⋆ contents: dismissive spencer, slight tension, a little fluff

“am i seeing you tonight?”

you sat at spencer's desk, fiddling around with his large assortment of pens arranged in rainbow order, watching as he scattered through mounds of files.

he glanced back at you through his peripheral vision.

“you're seeing me right now, aren't you?”

you snorted out a little laugh, your spinning chair groaning lowly as you stood up and approached him. you stood right behind him, slowly trailing your hands up his clothed arms and back down again.

“not like that, genius. we made plans last week, remember? i've been looking forward to them all day.”

spencer swallowed hard as he flipped through a particularly gorey photo of the current victim. a honey-crusted wound infested with an assortment of bugs and rodents feasting on the rotting flesh. what a wonderful way to get him in the mood.

your eyes shot away from the image faster than they landed on it. you removed your hands from him, now awkwardly tapping at your sides.

“i'm not sure how you can talk about the plans we made 168 hours ago when we've got a case like this on our hands.” he murmured, not even bringing his gaze to yours for a second.

you froze up, not used to being shut down by him like this. you didn't want to admit it, but this case had been rubbing him the wrong way since the start. and it has definitely taken a toll on him.

you cleared your throat, the room suddenly seeming a little warm. “y-yeah, i know. but… taking a break might be good for you. for us.”

you smiled, hoping that he would return the warmth with that dorky grin of his. but he just looked straight at you with a blank stare.

“taking a break isn’t going to get us any closer to solving this. who knows how many people could be in danger right now…”

your body grew stiff, your palms becoming clammy as he shifted his attention away from you once again. over the past day, spencer had seemed to build a wall around himself, subconsciously pushing you away. but the last thing you could do was blame him for his change in demeanor. he was right, after all. who knew how many other lives were about to meet a gruesome end…

the thought sent a shiver down your spine, a heavy pit filling your stomach. the atmosphere in the room had become uninhabitable in just a matter of seconds.

you shuffled back to your desk, picking up your bag and slinging it over your shoulder, glancing at the analog clock that hung on the wall behind you. it was a couple minutes past midnight, the latest you had ever stayed at the office.

“i’m going to call it a night. see you tomorrow, spence…”

no response. you weren’t even sure that he heard you. with a deep sigh, you led yourself out. a cold shower of rain hit you as soon as you stepped outside. quickly walking to your car, your slumped into the seat, looking back at the building as you drove away.

~ ~ ~

after a much-needed shower, you sank down into your soft bed, feeling your tensed muscles relax. though your body was slowly succumbing to the exhaustion, your mind was still buzzing actively. with the current case, the heavy storm that was tearing through your neighbourhood, and most of all: spencer.

you knew it wasn’t his fault, but this stood as a reality check to you. in the grand scheme of things, you only stood as a temporary distraction from the things that really mattered to him. a deep, shaky breath escaped your parted lips. the best thing to do right then was to try and get some sleep.

as your eyes slowly drooped shut, the shrill scream of your doorbell rang through the room. your body jolted from the startle. it was an hour past midnight. what sane person would be up and ringing doorbells at this hour?

you groaned, standing up from your bed and slipping on a pair of socks, making your way to answer the door. you looked through the peephole, but the blackness of the night consumed your vision. 

you slowly turned the door handle, poking your head out just enough to see who was there. with his sodden hair plastered across his face, the umbrella over his head practically useless, spencer met your curious gaze with a shy little smile.

“h-hey…” a loud sneeze over took his body. “i-it’s really cold out here…”

you felt a twinge of pity for him. his nose and cheeks were stained with splotches of pink and the bags under his eyes were telltales of how big a toll the case was having on him.

“spencer… what’s going on..?”

he couldn’t bring his eyes to you, but you could sense that he was tensed.

“the team thought i’d be a good idea to call it a night…” he began to fiddle with his thumbs. “...you’re not mad at me, right..?”

he met your gaze, his eyes pleading. you sighed deeply.

“no, i’m not mad. but what are you doing here? you should be heading home.”

he sniffled, wiping his nose with his dampened sleeve.

“o-oh. well… i was hoping that we could watch a movie or something. i-i can cook you dinner and we can have a good time. just like we planned…”

you rubbed your eyes, trying to fight the smile that tugged at your lips. spencer finally looked at your attire, taking in the sight of you in your pajamas.

“oh, were you in bed? did i wake you up?”

you laughed, putting a hand on his arm and stroking it gently.

“don’t worry about it, spence. come on in.”

author's note: i wanna get another spencer fic out today.

[scentedpepper]

Attempted Vehicular Manslaughter

BILLY HARGROVE X MALE READER

Summary: Max Mayfield hosts a pool party.

Content Warnings: Use of the F-slur, Use of Queer in a derogatory manner, Injuries, Verbal Abuse, Abusive Household Dynamics, Reader makes a 'if I wanna kms' joke

Other Pairings: Nancy Wheeler x Male Reader, Jonathan Byers x Male Reader, Max Mayfeild x Male Reader, Mike Wheeler x Male Reader

AUTHOR NOTE(S):

Oh brother we got a chatterbox

Had a dream about this ya'll

Readers a little sassy

Reader has a little brother

Reader has a bit of savior complex

Readers also kinda impulsive?

It's 3 am

_________________________________________

The grass was rough and patchy in the backyard, filled to the brim with wilted daisies and weeds crawling through the sprinklers. It was hardly worth a note of much consideration, as there had been nothing of great importance to discuss. There were many trees boarding the house. Pine or oak, maybe. And one dying cherry tree that was a stand alone in the yard. That was about the extent of anything substantial past the old silver fence that matched your shoes.

Nearest the house, under the shade, were several lawn chairs designated for the so-called "chaperones". The older brothers and sisters of the tweens. But really, it was nothing more than a cover-up.

Something to appease the parents' of the Hargrove house because Max knew it was odd to be friends with a group of kids the same age as her brother. Even her mother, who'd tried to remain impartial to any situation, narrowed her eyes and shifted her purse tighter when the suggestion of more than a couple 17 year old's parading around her house came.

Your mom was just happy you got along, let alone made some real friends outside the books, and encouraged the notion. More parental control, she reasoned. Less chances you were off with someone who intended on trouble.

Of course, all the shit about fighting monsters and being on the brink of death with these same friends wasn't factored in.

But no one besides them and the sheriff's deputy needed to know that.

The first time you had met the kids was, admittedly, what one would refer to as a kerfuffle. Riled up and trying to be dominant. Of course, because Billy was there, it spiraled even farther, and someone's head nearly got bashed into a rock.

That someone being you of obviously, after you'd been goaded into the fight and decided to step up. And boy, did Billy hate to lose. Hated being talked down to by a smaller kid who barely had pimples left on his face, let alone bulk.

You put up a good fight. You had a mean hit, especially the lick you gifted to Billy's chest, knocking the wind out of him when it connected. There was a bruise on his ribcage for days after and all the satisfaction he could possibly imagine at knowing it was from you.

But then he nearly killed you so, things turned sour rather quickly.

Which led to a rather impromptu welcome into the group of misfits, the lot of them. Unannounced and unexpected, you marched into the party after your small break down. Ready to be let in and accepted.

Finding out about the Upside Down was a mere accident.

You hadn't gone out of your way to befriend a group of children. Hadn't expected much in regards to friendship period even after getting your ass kicked by Billy Hargrove. Let alone a lifetime, one built from the shared experience of the horrors that lurk just underneath town, attached to one particular boy of the group.

But here you were. Standing in the backyard of Max's home like an idiot with the sun bearing down at your back. The late summer day nearly reached over 100 degrees as the clock neared the noon hour. Something you might have missed otherwise if it wasn't for the black analog watching you closely every time you renetered the house for a drink.

The main gaggle of kids swam and screamed every few seconds, trying to drag you into a half-baked game of Marco Polo that had the older Hawkins teens eyeing each other with concern.

You tapped the top of your can to ease the anxiety, looking around the edge of the yard again, past Max's mother, who waved awkwardly and would come around every so often, offering drinks or food to you, Nancy, and Jonathan.

"Nervous?" Jonathan prodded in his way, looking up from the half eaten sandwhich Will had taken two large bites from, making sure he had gotten his fill and packing it away when he received two big thumbs up from his little brother before he rentered the pool.

"Ah. " You leaned against the lawn chair, rolling your neck before looking over. "Expecting Billy to jump out from one of these corners, " you gesture towards the many hiding places you have spotted in the yard. "cause a scene. "

Nancy shifted uncomfortably, twisting her skirt slightly. "Not yet, at least. " She added while fidgeting with the button over the waist. "I thought he'd show up at least half-way through this thing. "

"Yeah, " you agreed, "thats why I'm–"

"On edge?" Jonathan filled in for you, a soft smile gracing his lips as Will looked over.

"Ready, he means. " Mike piped up, his hand was fully plunged into the cooler chest, blindly shifting around the ice as he looked over at the three.

Something in the tension held firm in the pit of your stomach, because the only times that this happened was whenever a confrontation was supposed to take place.

And judging from all the past events that had occurred, however mundane or fantastical they may be, this was probably going to end badly in more than just a couple of ways.

You'd managed to keep pretty calm in the past concerning Billy. Kept a level head about whatever shit he'd decided to cause that week. But something felt wrong today. That air in your gut had been hard to shake.

And the fact he had yet to make an appearance so far, did very little in easing you. And apparently everyone else involved.

"Don't know what his fucking problem is. " You curse, sitting up in the chair, "Never waits long to start shit."

In fact, you can almost pinpoint the time he entered the premises, an excuse to blame him for the sudden tightening in your gut and the goosebumps on your skin. Yet, he hadn't entered the backyard once since he got home. He stayed holed up in his room the entire day and that much was evident every time you, or Nancy, or Jonathan or one of the kids entered the house and heard the rock music blasting from his bedroom.

He hadn't even made a shadow to have showed his face.

For hours you waited.

Hours of worry and unease ate away at your gut while the rest of the party commenced unhindered.

And yet, it seemed all but for nothing in the grand scheme of things. Because as the sun started to lower from its zenith, you and the rest grew more tired and eventually, the temperature started to cool to a point where splashing around in the pool was no longer appropriate.

The kids came clamoring out, dripping in more chemicals than water, screaming and laughing in the process. It was getting near the five hour mark by then.

Your mind was heavy when you stood up to go inside, nearly tripping when your eyes clashed with the eldest person in the home, the both of you freezing awkwardly in the middle of the walk.

Both you and Max's mother were silent in each others presence. Stoic if there was ever a word for it.

Neil always seemed to be staring off into nothing, zoned out to some far away place only those who drowned themselves in alcohol and other momentary pleasures existed. They didn't interact, besides maybe the occasional conversation starter, or nod in passing whenever a person came too close for an inch of comfort. Not unusual in your opinion of strained marriages.

You began to speak, went to get yourself out of this weird positioning you've seemed to found yourself in. But Susan beat you to it.

"Can you do me a favor?" She beckoned before turning around and trotting off into the kitchen. Already assuming you would listen. You usually did. There weren't any hidden agendas for her actions and nothing against you personally.

She held some power that you wished wasn't. You would take just about any job that required you to be away from the current obstacles of your personal life. But as she turned back to look at you with that indescribable air and knowing nod, she had beaten you.

"Whats up?" You replied, voice more gravely then you meant it to be as you walked up behind her. She was sticking something into the microwave.

"Bye, Y/N/N. " Nancy had emerged from the Hargrove bathroom when she stood on her toes to place a friendly kiss on your cheek before joining Jonathan.

"See ya, Nance. " You say as the dark haired girl glided away, passing a wave to Jonathan and then they were out the front door.

The house was mostly empty now with nearly all the kids back home, and Dustin and Max tucked away in her room, waiting for Dustin's mother. There was enough silence now that you were itching to leave. The house had settled quiet, but you couldn't describe it as comfortable. There was a ribbed blanket across the couch that had obviously been sat on by its dishelved look.

The TV was on but the volume had been lowered so much that you were better off listening to Billy's faint music from down the hall for entertainment.

Water rushed from somewhere on the other side of the house and the distinct slam of a door being pulled shut gave you the visual to what you were hearing. Your little brother, most likely. You'd seen him dip down the hallway like he was about to shit himself the moment Nancy exited the bathroom.

You shifted around, placing your backside agaisnt the counter as you found new things to look at. Languidly, you watched, senses picking out different things around the house to latch on to. The light green walls, the ugly brown patterns on the carpet, the hum of the refrigerator that, strangely enough, harbored no family photos, just magnets with various corny sayings.

Your eyes lingered on the fridge.

Everything here was simple. Blank like a fresh canvas of dry paint. Apart from the dishes left in the sink and the few items of clothing to be picked up off the ground, it felt oddly wrong for an occupied residence.

"Y/N?"

A shift in the environment rippled over your skin and something felt charged but not in a fearful sort of way. You're pulled from your small internal worry by the same woman from before.

"Billy hasn't come from his room all day, mind taking this to him?"

Susan's got a glass plate in her hand, slightly extended our towards you. It's filled at every turn with food she'd transfered from the tupperware after the ding of the microwave you hadn't quite heard.

That same gut feeling crawled up your insides again, but you blamed the way your throat tightened on the anxiety. Why it was something now and not earlier, you can't be sure.

But, if there's one thing you learned from movies and popular tv shows, it's never to interrupt the motherfucker when he's listening to rock. But, here's your excuse. So, with a small nod and the plate in your hand, you try to shake it all away.

Because the worst that could happen is you get your ass beat again.

Stepping up to the wood slated door gave your lungs a run for their money. It was as if all the air had been sucked from the atmosphere and the pressure collapsed the walls around you. Only breathing through your nose you shook the fear away with a raised fist to the door, clenched the plate in your opposite hand.

Bass rattled through the floor and past the wooden door, you're graced with the faint sounds of the guitar on the stereo. There were bits of vocals in the background, a baritone voice that spoke. And perhaps that was part of the appeal. Your fingers danced on the metal that resided at the entrance. It felt cool on your skin.

You knocked again after a few seconds. Nothing sounded on the other side of the door but you were still unsure if Billy could hear you above the music. Maybe he'd turn it down once his father returned from whatever place he'd ventured off to in the night. But you didn't exactly have that time to be waiting around, despite your own fathers late tendencies.

You took a moment to think if you should just leave the plate on the floor, let him pick it up, and try to call a ride. You exhaled quickly, shifting your balance onto your other hip.

Before you even touched the doorknob with a single digit, the music turned down significantly and suddenly the atmosphere was more intense than you'd anticipated.

Which, was the new normal.

But, still.

Things felt off. The pressure in your bones caused your limbs to rise upward, to defend yourself, to at least put yourself in some position that wouldn't leave you open to attack.

For what?

You didn't know.

Because all Billy did was peer up at you from the crack in his door. Nothing significant yet his stare was nothing less than striking. Those blue things could put the oceans to shame, rivaling even the sky in its vivid colors. They were a mirror.

They shifted to the food, briefly. Then immediately returned back to you as the speaker could barely emit its sound.

You watched as the boy straightened, sighed and then opened the door wider, leaving the frame unguarded as he trailed off into his room.

The door held open but his gaze disappeared into the space on his mattress, and the music lowered a touch, no longer loud enough to break the door from its hinges but loud enough that Billy had to raise his voice over it to be properly heard.

You took a cautious step forward after staring at the boys backside, his attire didn't leave much to imagination but his half nude state was the least of your discernment seeing as one, you were fashioned the same way and two, Billy Hargrove was wordlessly inviting you into his room.

You thought maybe this was some kind of trick, a ploy to get you cornered, so your eyes danced over him in brief, consistent glances as you proceeded forward.

He was sitting by his window, a cigarette stuck between his two fingers as he silently stared off into the the darkness the world outside offered.

It was strange. Seemingly off guard as he propped the knee of one leg against the window, giving a free range to his left to lean. Hair swept over the shoulder to show part of his sharp jawline, which dimmed only with each intake of the deadly nicotine.

The room was bland save for a few posters, white walls, brown dresser pressed against a corner and a night stand tucked at the opposite. Clothes were tossed about, either on the floor or hung up half assed on something that you could only guess as a proper hanger.

His nightstand was covered in trash and empty beer cans and you thought of shoving them away before deciding to place the plate on his bed instead.

You spared him a last glance after the action, perplexed by the fact he was just so— quiet. Which, was certainly odd to everyone at least within half a mile from here. Usually the moment you entered his space, his bubble, he erupted like an animal defending its territory.

You decided not to push your luck. Because right now, it felt like the deadly cat across the African plains simply hadn't noticed you. And so your steps were as carefully placed as they had been when you entered. It was almost relaxing despite the looming feeling from the boys demeanor.

Billy felt a wave, a sort of ripple through the air as the presence of another remained in the room. He didn't bother to speak, only raised the unlit cigarette to his lips in a curious manner and took an unsteady puff, letting the wind carry the smoke out the screen. There was a storm, one he had sensed earlier but was hard to make out amongst the many things that had clouded his mind with anger.

Luckily, the only thing he could blame his outburst on earlier this morning was exhaustion, a clear sign of his lack of sleep from the night before which would easily explain his half dead posture and irritability that had pissed off nearly everyone around him.

Another explanation for his hideout in his room but one you couldn't quite understand.

You neared the exit when the floorboards creaked just as they had before and you almost wanted to freeze in your place. Like the cat would come pouncing now, mauling you to death.

"Not gonna make a show of it?" Came Billy's voice, it was low and calm but you caught the slight strain of it. As if he needed a clear of his throat to even be fully heard.

"A show of what?" You cast a glance over your shoulder, brows knit.

The blonde gestured with his lips, the subtle shift in his elbow drawing attention to the stick of tobacco. "I was waiting for some goddamn spectacle, L/N. "

"I don't know what you're talking about, Billy. " You sounded exasperated already and you stepped over a black shirt with a design you couldn't quite decipher from its crumpled up state. You made sure not to add anymore scratches to the ground and turned around, placing your back firmly against the door frame.

Billy's muscles became tense with the new body turned on him and he felt the wave again, the stirring of new energy entering the atmosphere.

But you had simply done so so that your back wasn't uncomfortably to him when you left.

"Whatever. " Was all Billy seemed to say before shutting you out, shoving that fucking piece of shit plate away from him. And in the split second your brain focused on how fast food was supposed to get cooled and not nearly three seconds after swallowing his cancer stick Billy must've caught the attention of the devil himself.

There was no denying the jagged yell, the shuffling in his voice like someone was gripping his head and holding it under water. You jumped away, eyes as wide as saucers as Billy's bedroom door flung open, smacking the adjacent wall with a loud slam that nearly cracked the plaster from the force.

And yet, his voice was a lot less louder than his grand entrance. "Hey, shit face. Why don't you make yourself useful instead of sitting around all day, having our guests, " he gestured to you, "bring you your own fucking food. "

You moved a step back, almost tripping on your own footing from your struggle to balance yourself without the solid sense of feeling. Your eyes darted frantically between the two people within your viewing distance, and you could barely make out Susan a few feet away who had her hand clasped on Max's shoulder.

She was ushering her daughter to their bedroom but Max refused, and the red head stood beside the door with a wary look.

"Get up. And give him a ride home. " Another gesture to you and when you looked towards the entrance of Billy's room again Neil was taking up the entire frame.

"That's really not–" You began but stopped as both of the parents turned to look at you with an appalled look. It was nothing personal but you doubted Billy even knew where you lived and the only time you ever rode with him was pervious to when he'd beat your ass.

"My dad–" You tried again.

"He won't answer the phone, much less pick you up. " Susan jumped in, though the hesitation on her voice made you doubt if that was her plan all along. "Your brother got a ride with the Henderson's. "

"Put on a shirt, stop acting like a balless queer, and go. " Again Neil thrust a drawn out, mocking tone, like his son couldn't comprehend basic sentences and he stepped out of the way to make room for your departure.

Billy's got a storm brewing in his expression and there was one moment where his eyes met yours and you were sure you'd drown in all the hate there was.

You didn't get a chance to argue about the amount of time it would take to get there and about how you would manage on your own. In fact, something in Max's eyes told you it'd be better not to. So you pressed your lips against each other as Billy grabbed his keys and pushed past you.

You watched Billy stalk past everyone, a gruff 'Yes, Sir' leaving his lips that you almost hadn't heard as he passed his father.

You exited the room shortly after, not sparing Susan or Neil a goodbye as you gingerly took your shirt from Max's hands.

She made a comment, something quietly spoken that not even your heightened hearing could make out over Billy's obnoxious slamming of the front door that he knew he would pay for later. You watched the young girl as she returned to her room.

Silence welcomed you when you first stepped into the driveway, stretching across the cement with a sense of uncomfortablity that didn't seem to fade as you entered the car and were met with a chilling quiet.

Billy didnt look at you as his ignition roared to life, nor did he speak to you as he pulled out the drive way. He stared ahead, chin down as he leaned just slightly forward, supporting an arm on the side door, palm rubbing soothing circles into his temple.

He was going 20 above the speed limit. You assumed you two were trying to get as far away from the house as you could. But, the further into the neighborhood you went, the lower the numbers on the radio dropped and the more the car filled with quiet music.

Hargrove was completely out of it, lost in some other space where you weren't welcome. And the car had filled with a tension you doubted he'd meant to cause, but given his current mood, you didn't think he could avoid it either.

Despite this, you chose to press yourself against the door with a turned head, the muscles in your body growing taut with discomfort the more you tried to make it seem as if you weren't even of existence in the passenger seat.

You wanted out of the car.

That much you could draw from your mind when you found that the speedometer was at 55 and increasing.

"Billy. " You tore your gaze from the meter, flickering over the silent boy who was intent on looking only at the road ahead.

No answer. His jaw was tightened and set. There were lines buried in the skin.

"Billy. " Your voice held a certain firmness that he didn't quite like.

Silence still and he tightened his grip on the leather, knuckles turning white. The streetlights were getting ready to cast those obnoxious eyes and like a perfect chain of events the little hairs of a certain song burst from the speakers.

His hand, fast with anger, whipped across the volume dial, ceasing the tune and replacing it with the rumble of the engine.

An inhale, then a single word. "What. "

Somehow you think that's the opposite of an answer. It's barely a question. With the tone of voice he held he shouldn't have phrased it that way because he clearly didn't want to know what you had to say, what you thought.

"Stop the car. I'll walk. " It was simple enough and on any normal occasion Billy might've done just that rather than wasting his gas on you. But tonight was different, and Billy, seemingly fueled by his own agitation, just blew past the stop sign and sent the speed at which the Camaro rolled up with you at dangerous levels.

The car vibrated lightly beneath you, air whistling as you tore through the neighborhood at an alarming rate.

"Oh for fucks sake. " It was a mutter to yourself because you hadn't exactly expected the boy to be cooperative but you didn't think you'd be forced to jump out of a moving car again. Yet, here you were; gripping the handle, poised like a god damn animal, eyeing the road as you built up your goddamned gallantry.

You didn't catch the surprise on Billy's face when he noticed you push the door open against the harsh winds.

Fuck it.

You fell with ease and with a soft oof! your limbs were somehow able to stand the blow rather than becoming mangled chunks of meat against the pavement. You could hear the car skidding to a stop five houses down as you took a moment to roll around in your own pain.

Your shirt had rode up on your torso, back pressed against the heated road as your skin made contact with the tar. You had a few scrapes along your spine, one over the delicate hip bone. And you were pretty sure the road had peeled the skin on your forearm all the way down to the elbow but hey, at least it wasn't your fucking face.

A few drops of blood gathered on a pebble directly to your right. Your nose gave a sharp twinge of pain.

"Dick. " You said that in regards to him, for every aspect of his personality. Because Billy Hargrove was what others considered a giant dick.

If you hadn't suspected it before you were sure when you heard the wheels start to turn again, the shift of a gear springing the Camaro back to life. And then footsteps, louder than the car itself, were slapping against the asphalt.

"Are you out of your fucking mind!?" You raised your head, eyes coming to focus on Billy's very fucking pissed form towering above you. Arms crossed defensively, face twisted with irritation as he glared down at you with something close to— well it looked a lot like anger but Billy only knew one of three emotions and that was definitely not concern.

"Fuck you. " You managed through a puddle of blood in your mouth that you promptly spit out, only having realized it was there the moment it began forming bubbles when you tried to speak.

Billy's voice stuttered in reply. "What the fuck is your problem? Do you want to fucking kill yourself or something?! "

"Better than death by fucking vehicular manslaughter on the account of Billy fucking Hargrove. " You muttered, hands pressing into the road to give you leverage when you attempt to stand up. Your body immediately yells a no to this action and you lay right back down on the road.

"What?" Billy is completely distraught in the sense that his brain has seemed to burst due the sheer incomprability of your actions.

"Oh I don't know, Billy, maybe the next time I feel like killing myself I'll call you and we'll go a hundred miles an hour off the fucking side of a cliff. "

The boys eyebrows were nearly touching his hairline as he stared at you.

"Watch me die like an old school movie where they're surrounded by bubbles and colors and shit. "

You spit the last remnants of blood from your mouth and Hargroves face ran red and blue. "Can you fucking shut the fuck up and get up already before anyone sees you. " He demanded, practically dancing around your form. Arms stretched out with a stance that reminded you very much of a gymnast.

"No. No. I think I'll lay here for a sec. " You roll onto your backside, a groan in your voice, arms folding over your body, posed like a corpse.

Billy stops in his antics and stares at you incredulously. "Are you serious?"

"Very serious, yes. " Your voice almost comes out like a sigh.

Billy reels, and if it wasn't for the fact your eyes were sealed shut now, you'd be able to see the absolute bewilderment of the teen as he stood there in the middle of the empty street. Arms half poised over you but not touching your form. As if he didn't know what do with you.

"...Get up. " He demands, standing straight again, his hands on his waist. This time he's not commanding you in that cold manner. There's a little rise to his voice like he's beginning to lose his patience, his forehead furrowing with anger.

You take another few moments to enjoy the silence. You swear you hear a cicada or something squeak from a window sill nearby and the air felt cooler than it has in weeks. Until it all becomes overbearing and your chest burns from a lack of oxygen. You didn't even realize you were holding your breath.

You open an eye to test the waters.

Billy's scowling now, a hand on his hip and the other resting across his forehead in disbelief. At you or the situation, you weren't entirely sure. Both you imagined. But there was a certain look on his face like he was ready to pull some kind of theatric, a reaction, throw a punch to knock some sense into you but ultimately decided against it.

"Where do you live?" He asked the question in such a manner that you couldn't help but be wary of his intentions.

"...Why?" You asked, the caution obvious in your voice. As he loomed over you like that... it wasn't doing a whole lot of trust building.

You almost hear the growl of frustration from his throat as he began rocking on the balls of his feet, hands swinging like he wasn't able to grab hold of something. "So we can fucking go. Before someone calls the fucking cops. "

You still hesitated.

"Before I fuck you up so hard they'll have to identify you by your fucking sperm. " Okay there were his threats. But they lacked the substance of his normal demeanor. He didn't seem overly angry like he typically did but still, his body gave some kind of look as though he couldn't quite will himself to control the way it trembled with adrenaline.

"Nice one, but you're not my type. " Another bite and a second of Billy looking absolutely befuddled as he tried to keep his voice down. His glare had weakened but only because he was taken off guard, and his cocky expression fell to a tight line.

You watched as he took a moment to look around the empty street. The lights weren't too bright so you couldn't make out that typical, telltale flush of his skin that you've grown accustomed to in his anger.

Your eyes flickered across his face, scanning every inch like a beacon. Curiously, you looked at him the same way he always did. Maybe you'd find some sort of answer hidden somewhere behind his icy blues.

The look on his face was strange. Pensive.

"Get up, Y/N. " An even voice this time. Calming maybe. And to think, all it took was a slightly gay comment in order to simmer the violent bastard.

You half wondered where the fag-bashing erratic moron went. Maybe he'd packed his bags and runaway. You could hope.

You did more than that infact, you put that right there on your bucket list, and with a frown, more for yourself than anything else, you looked away from the boy above you.

"Fine. Alright. " Your movements were stiff with pain as you moved to push yourself up by the palms of your hand, your arms trembling beneath the weight. The skin on your hand and forearm burned with a stinging sensation.

Billy watched at your pathetic attempts, a sneer or two on his face but he didn't seem to offer much help until it'd all get too pathetic and he had to reach out and aid you.

"Idiot. " His lip curled as his palm met yours, his fingers holding onto the back of your hand tight as possible.

You stumbled slightly upon becoming fully upright, teetering against Billy for a moment as you took a minute to regain your ground.

"Yeah, well whose fucking fault is that. " You've developed a lovely habit of hissing through your teeth with an unnecessary amount of spite. You're surprised Billy hasn't knocked you on your ass and left you for dead by now.

He scoffs, trying to put as much distance between the two of you while still having your arm linked through his, helping you along. To the ignorant eye, you suppose this would look platonic enough but anyone that knew the two of you well would certainly think otherwise.

Billy's all rigid limbs and stunted movements. Even when you'd finally started to walk on your own and your grip on his arm began to slack, he held firm with a grip like a vise.

And by the time you're at the passenger's side, he's shoving you into the seat and you nearly knock your head on the top of car.

You didn't bother giving a remark when he practically seethed through his teeth, slamming the door in your face. He strode around the car like a man on a mission.

"If you go more than 5 over the speed limit—" You felt the warning die on your tongue when you saw the look of pure anger etched onto Billy's face.

"You'll jump out. Yeah. " His hand came down on the shifter. "Got it. "

There was a part of your brain that you didn't recognize that was screaming in terror, completely and totally convinced you were going to die tonight at the hands of the ever brooding Billy Hargrove.

But much to your surprise, Billy maintains that 5 mile leway the entire drive home even when there's barely a car in the streets. He hadn't muttered a single word since throwing his angry body in the driver's seat.

Instead, he'd cranked up the music all the way as if it'd some how compensate for the lack of speed and conversation, not that there would be much to say anyway.

You hadn't bothered looking at him. He hadn't bothered looking at you. But somehow, in one way or another, the feeling as if you were watching each other was even more abundant in the silence.

Whatever hostility had remained from Billy's mood in the first half of the night had receded back into his depths for later. Though the occasional frown on his face never quite leaves no matter what, his eyes are softer now.

And by the time he's pulling into the dirt driveway of your home, the soft beams of amber and yellow from the streetlights dimly hitting half his face, there's no sign of anger or any real semblance of emotion. It's oddly quiet, and the only thing to really speak up was the steady rumble of the engine.

"Thanks. " You beckon quickly and with reluctantance as you awkwardly grabbed at the door handle, trying to turn as quickly as you could while still maintaining balance. Anything just to get out of his car and away from the guy.

"Y/N. " He voices and the moment you pull at the handle you come to find it's resistance. A dull tingle shoots up your spine and the hair on the back of your neck raises with tension.

You turn, facing the teen who kept an unconcerned façade. He was a calm still pond with blue eyes flickering like small waves in the face of a strong wind, and although most times they were ice and snow that held such a cold, unforgiving passion of arrogance, there were times they were the ripples of a breeze.

Now was one of those times.

"Don't go around pulling fucking stunts like that. "

That was definitely closer to a warning than anything else that had come from his lips the entirety of the night.

"This is coming from the guy who beat my ass into the concrete two months ago. " And at this point, you were too exhausted to be filled with spite for the boy.

His posture falters and not just figuratively. There's a shift to the way he's sitting but the flicker of his eyes remains. Even with you half turned, his stare remained. In fact, it seems to have gotten all the more intense.

"What's it to you anyway? " The way he tilted his head might have been endearing in another life. Now, it seemed to hold meaning, the way a predator stalks its prey with such observant behavior before sinking its teeth into its jugular.

His gaze on you could have bored into your brain, much like a drill for how quick your defenses seemed to start dissolving.

He'd always looked at you like this. Whether or not you caught his eyes on you was by chance.

In class, in the halls, it was all the same to him. He'd get one look and that was about all it took. He'd stare with the attention like an interrogation, as if trying to decode some secret behind your stature, trying to pick you apart bit by bit with those watchful baby blue's of his. And if there was no easy route to doing that he'd dig his little meat hooks into you until there was.

You were all he'd focus on. Not you in particular. More so the idea of you.

Whatever that meant.

Of course the only instance Billy looked at you without fail, hard looked at you like the blue was about to spill out of his eyes and swallow you up like a tsunami, was when he was a little tipsy or riled up with heat and fury. But like most of Billy's emotions, they were very intense. Too intense for something as simple as just a fucking stare. It almost gave you the illusion of a dangerous threat that made your skin buzz with goosebumps, your nerves rattling in their sockets.

He was doing the same now, except, the only difference was that he wasn't pissed faced or smoldering with alcohol this time. In the confines of his car, beneath the yellow white shine of the nearby street lights, he couldn't tear his gaze away even if you begged.

Billy was the sort of thing to stop you mid thought when you glance and feel your limbs freeze, suddenly petrified with all this uneasiness and sudden confusion as to why there was only one sort of definition to put on why you felt such things whenever his presence was met with a hundred paces of distance.

"I..." He starts but his voice falls flat. Something beyond frustration, something between anger and concern. The sort of look that told you he was working something out in his mind. Or he just couldn't find the proper word choice that didn't end in an f-bomb at the end of his sentence.

He's still staring, his eyes flickering back and forth between yours, like a candle wick in the night. Wavering. Stuttering. Inconsistent uncertainty.

Like he's just asking for guidance to fill his barren vocabulary, the words never existing like an undiscovered civilization in his brain, unable to conjure up the sort of speech that would get him what he wanted.

An abrupt sense of panic washed over you. You inhaled sharply and you didn't let the breath go until your next move was placed in front of you like a chess piece on the board and you couldn't take the time to think out any future moves on your part.

All of your attention was pulled to him, focused entirely. The way he moved, the way he breathed, it left a tingling feeling trailing behind him like some faint breeze of emotion.

Everything stilled, it was him and you. Him. And you.

And he's just looking at you like that. Mouth halfway opened and the noise of shallow heavy breaths were the only sounds falling from his lips while he's looking at you all wide-eyed, like some fresh-faced virgin whose never seen one in person before.

You cursed yourself. Cursed the wind. Cursed the ground. Cursed Billy and his stupid face. And every corner of his stupid car and everything else about him. You can curse the sun but that'd probably be a step too far. Especially the moment you met those watchful pools of sea foam.

Fucking Billy Hargrove and his stupid, fucking car and his even more stupid...

Lips.

Lips and teeth.

Teeth, pale pink lips.

Blue eyes, long lashes.

Stupid fucking curly hair.

The sort of curly where it always managed to get you by the tips, tangling its brambles in your fingers and refusing to let go.

Which is why the second Billy made a small noise– not even really a noise, it's a breath. A single exhale that hits your nose, hits you the way nothing has before, and it causes a wave of heat to wash over you, overtaking your senses.

You grab those curls, your fingers entwine them and his breath is alot heavier, alot hotter as his hands grip tightly onto your shirt, like he's a frightened child.

His lips are wet.

He's messy.

Sloppy.

Like he's never kissed before in his life. Lips that keep moving, and his tongue is too sensitive, too eager.

Every sharp inhale of breath reeks of sweat and chlorine.

There's no time to stop and make sense of the situation.

He's scrambling over the middle console, desperate hands gripping on your collar and in any other scenario, this would've been the step before he plummeted his fist into your face. But there's hardly anything suggesting that. At least not without the time to see the tiny trail of tears lining Billy's eyes, glossing his cheeks.

He tastes as he looks. Like liquid gold with his tongue rubbing against yours in a hot mass of burning motion. And any semblance of a rational train of thought was chucked out the window.

There was enough room in the front seat for a teenage boy and then some. Billy Hargrove was not such a teenage boy. There was barely enough room to shift and breathe and wriggle around in this half straddle.

You can faintly hear a heavy car pass over a mound in the road, an off balance tire or perhaps someone forgot to inflate it and the uneven troll on the road, not entirely deafening, but it's there. And Billy hears it and he jumps from you, leg grazing the shifter, head knocking into the top of the roof.

His ears are steaming red as he all but falls into the driver's seat, face flustered and hair slightly disheveled.

He's looking around like a wild animal caught in a trap and he can't escape, eyes flickering back and forth; from the gearshift all the way to the rear view mirror and then to your face.

Pupils shot open, dark and wide, and a hand coming up to press on his forehead, eyes squinting.

"Billy‐ " It's a start, but it doesn't stay long enough to be deemed a full sentence, not with his name lingering on your lips while you try to swallow down the heat in the pit of your stomach. Billy's looking at you, breathing heavy.

"Get out. " He mutters forcefully, the lock clicks open and when his hand comes up to rub across his face, it's shaking.

"Billy. " More insistent this time.

He looks a few shades redder than when he was before, his head snaps back to meet your stare, hair curling beneath his ears in a gentle mess, curls threatening to fall into his face.

"Get out!" His voice pitches, breaks into something close to a sob and Billy swings his arm wildly, fist connecting with the steering wheel and there's a loud honk as a warning before he shouts again. "Get the fuck out, you fucking faggot!" His voice reverberates across the entire neighborhood, shattering your ear drums in the process.

There's dogs barking from far away, probably due to the horn.

You hesitated but only for a moment before swinging the door open, just barely missing the opportunity to knock the shit out of your leg by the time Billy decided to slam down his foot on the pedal. The door shuts fast. The car speeds off before it has the chance.

You watched him drive away, with just as much intensity as the boy inside the car watched you in the rearview.

As your house began to shrink away into the distance, and the glare of the car grew smaller and smaller. You could hardly see those searing blue eyes the way you did in class. Though this time, instead of a look of hatred or scorn, it was one of fear and dread.

And maybe, just maybe, if there were more light shining on his face, it would reflect a thousand scenarios playing on his cheeks. Not that you would've been able to tell from all the way out here.

"Fuck. "

[supernatural-bias]

𝐌𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐥 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐭𝐬

↳ summary: it's late, and you find yourself thinking about life on the road as you know it

↳ notes: been thinking about short haired sam a lot lately, and wanted to write something that captured the feel of the earlier seasons. bit shorter than usual, but enjoy!

↳ warnings: none

↳ song: every rose has its thorn—poison

masterlist | commissions | carrd

These were the moments you loved the most.

The hunter lifestyle didn't offer much. It didn't offer comfort, it didn't offer money, and it certainly didn't offer saftey, so you had to make do with what presented itself. If that meant getting breakfast from shitty gas stations more often than not, or staying cooped up in a car for hours on end, then so be it.

There was something oddly poetic in the way you lived your life. You had nothing to your name but the clothes on your back and a sturdy gun Dean had traded you for your old one once meeting you for the first time. Your diet consisted of greasy finger foods, a rare bite of Sam's salad when he felt like sharing, and two beers short of an alcoholics anonymous intervention. Your hospital bills were a mile long and then some— or they would be if you didn't have a habit of changing aliases every time the three of you hopped a state line —and scars riddled the cracked expanse of your skin. But you loved the lifestyle, and it loved you in its own sick, twisted way.

Occasionally the world outside your own would slow down so you could catch up to it. It would be the small things to ground you back in reality away from spectors and spooks. Pulling off the road and stopping to watch a sunset. Spending the night out at a nice bar with clean countertops. Having enough money to sleep in a nice motel; one that didn't make you feel like you were going to catch the plauge just by standing in the rooms doorway.

That's where you were right now. In a cleaner-than-you're-used-to room, awake when you probably shouldn't be, catching up on a chapter or two of your current book while your two roughed up, flannel wearing, loveably stubborn companions snored away on the beds across from you. Dean was the louder one tonight, but you couldn't be particularly bothered to get up and get him to stop. Knowing your luck, he'd oblige for a few moments before rolling on his side and forgetting you were ever there. How Sam dealt with it was beyond you, but then again, he had spent a lot more time around his brother than you. Perks of being siblings. Or downsides, you mused with a slight grin.

You paused in your reading to look up. Even if your back was aching a little and your feet yearned to be propped up on a nice polyester pillow or two, the sight of Sam and Dean sleeping was enough to curb those urges. They deserved as much rest as they could get. The last hunt you all had gone on had been pretty brutal, and the two of them had ended up taking on the majority of the grunt work while you cased the perimeter of the building the monster had holed up in. Djinns. Always a finicky bunch.

Sam turned over in his sleep slightly, mumbling something under his breath before sighing. Your lips quirked upwards as you watched from afar. Particularly at how his hair seemed to fan out from his head in a halo shape. You noticed that he had been growing his hair out recently, and while that didn't surprise you— it's not like you all exactly had time to stop in at a barber shop —you found yourself missing the almost fluffy quality his old hair held. Oh well. You'd settle for the sheen this new style brought.

Running a hand down your face, you blew out a puff air in a show of amusement. You must have stayed up later than you'd thought if you were resorting to critiquing Sam's hair of all things. Dreading a quick look at the analog clock on the motels nightstand, you went for it anyway, and was hit in the face with the knowledge that you'd stayed up for so long that it was already tomorrow. As if to punctuate the glowing green numbers, a bird outside chirped happily, and you grimaced at the thought of how the lack of sleep would affect you later.

It took a total of three seconds for you to dog ear the page you were on and set the book down. The lamp you had been using as a light source plunged the room into darkness with a click, and it left you with a slight impression on the back of your eyelids.

Your feet led you over to the soft couch with little to no protest, and a throw pillow bounced off its surface when you flopped down. Not even bothering to search around in a dark closet for a blanket, you buried your face in the couches slightly perfumed fabric, said a silent prayer of thanks to Dean for getting such a nice room, and smiled.

"Night guys."

And then you were out.

[yandereshingeki]

Milk, Honey, and Sugar

Yandere Eren x Reader

Milk Honey and Sugar Masterlist

previous • next

Word Count: 12.7k

Content: College AU, Yandere content, Obsessive and Possessive behavior, Fluff, Smut, Dark content, Jiyuu beloved

Content Warnings: Stockholm Syndrome, Obsessive Behavior, Eren is a bit of a pervert, but somehow also shy about it, reader going thru it, Eren is described at taller than reader, Pet names (Angel, Baby), Dubcon (from stockholm syndrome), Eren is SO WEAK TO YOU, you’re both a bit shy, Reader is implied to be a tiny bit insecure, Tiddy sucking, Falacio, hand job, Little bit of subby! Eren but only a little, description of Eren’s dick lol, reader makes him CRY, mention of him pulling their hair a little, a smidge of edging, aftercare

Summary: After the realization hits that you aren't ever going to see your friends again, Eren is the one to comfort you—slowly turning you more and more dependent on him.

Oh my goddd It's been so long and I'm so sorry!!! A bunch of things got in the way of me writing for a while, but It's finally back! I'm going to try to focus on this series more so hopefully, there won't be such a big gap in posting again! I already have the next part nearly finished so it shouldn't be long before the next chapter! Also, I'd like to say thank you to anyone that's still here after my absence and anyone that's been here from before :,,) I'm so grateful. I hope this is enough to satisfy until the next chapter! There's a little doodle at the end for you all <33 Can't wait to write the most exciting parts of the story!! (In my opinion at least, lol) Please enjoyy

Chapter 7: Warmth (part 1)

The hours grew longer the more days you spent alone.

Your world was quiet, apart from the tick of the plastic analog clock or the occasional sound of water going through pipes and creaking footsteps from above. Being stuck on your own was such a lonely, stir-crazy existence. The only time you found solace from it was when Eren would make his way down the stairs, greeting you with his abnormally gentle smile and a soft kiss, giving you the company you constantly longed for and sometimes a consoling meal.

He had you wrapped around his finger by now, so tired of the isolation and quiet that you’d do almost anything if it meant he’d stay, just to ease your loneliness for a while. He was a distraction you took with little resistance because you didn’t want to think about the pain of being trapped for even a second.

He seemed to be the only thing that helped your ever-fragile mood, the one thing keeping you grounded as your mental stability frayed. It was hell when he would leave you, forcing you to face the cold basement alone again. You’d try to sleep through it, but sometimes your brain wouldn’t quiet and your emotions would explode to the point that you’d bawl your eyes out and sob until your nose was clogged and your head ached, your mind plagued with the overbearing thoughts of your long-gone friends and freedom. If they’d been looking, you were sure they would have found you by now. It should’ve been so obvious who’d taken you. Or maybe, everyone was too trusting of Eren to realize that deep down, he was an obsessive stalker, someone who kidnapped his best friend. 

Either way, your hope of being found had almost completely diminished. With no access to the outside world, you didn’t even know if a search was ongoing. You had no motivation anymore, even for escape—although it’s not like you could because Eren hadn’t let you go upstairs since your last attempt. He hadn’t touched you the same way he did that night either, occasionally letting his soft kisses grow more heated but never going as far as he did then. You almost missed it. The intimacy, that is. He’d been nothing but sweet to you most of the time, even when all you could do was cry into him.

You felt pathetic being in such a state, constantly switching between craving his presence and despising him for taking you away. You barely felt deserving of being rescued since you gave in to your captor so quickly. Would anyone even want to help you if they knew what you’d done with him? How close you’d remained even after his betrayal? It brought a sick feeling to your stomach whenever you thought about it. All of the lame excuses and blaming your actions on your once adolescent crush or your dwindling will to escape. You knew the truth, yet you still didn’t want to admit it.

It’d been four weeks since your failed escape, and just a little over a month of being stuck in the basement—not that you even knew the specifics of how long it’d been because of how your days began to blend. Since your attempt, Eren spent more time downstairs, sometimes taking his entire day off to stay with you, slowly making you more dependent on his presence because it was all you had. 

Akin to every other day, it started with his journey down, breakfast in hand and laptop under his arm, the device fully charged and ready for another day of playing offline games and watching videos or movies. But, also like every other day, his plans, per usual, were halted when he reached the bottom of the steps and saw you curled up on the bed, crying into your palms. 

His guilt overflowed whenever he saw you like that, but he pushed it away when he remembered all the things that could’ve happened if he hadn’t brought you here. All of the people that could have gotten to you, the things they could have done to you. It made him irrationally angry just thinking about it. In his house, you were safe, and he always knew where you were. To him, that was worth the pain it brought you.

Laying everything on the desk, he rushed to sit next to you, trapping you in his comforting arms and pulling you into his lap, “What’s wrong, baby?” 

He always asked that when you cried, always with the same pet names he’d use to try and ease your tears. You always replied that you didn’t want to discuss it, but he knew what the truth behind your sadness was. He knew it was because you missed everyone and you were terrified of telling him. 

“I don’t wanna talk about it right now.” You said, as usual, voice hoarse from tears that’d been pouring since you woke up. You put your head against him, soaking the white pajama t-shirt while he rubbed your back and cradled you like a child. His warmth and his pleasant autumn-like scent made it harder to focus on your problems, the comfort pulling you back to him in an instant. Sometimes it was like you were addicted, craving the constant reassurance of his presence and the distraction from your situation. 

This had become almost routine—he would come downstairs or wake up with you, find you crying, and drop everything to comfort you, just to continue whatever he had planned for the day after as if nothing happened. It was such an exhausting pattern for you, but he couldn't care less. All he cared for was being able to have you with him where you were safe. Being able to hold and touch you was just a bonus.

He held you as tight as he could, trying to make you feel secure while compressed in his arms. You could only snuggle into him, pushing your ear against his chest to listen to his racing heart. It was a calming and familiar white noise that helped distract you from the fact that you were probably never going to get out. It helped you feel sane and reminded you that Eren was another human too.

He sighed feeling you ease into him, finally safe enough to relax too. The room was quiet other than the gentle sounds of breathing and the mechanical ticking of the clock. It was almost peaceful like this, just the two of you cuddled up together. Listening to each other’s soft sounds and finding comfort in them.

“Can I have breakfast now?” You asked, your voice still crackling from your dry throat. You were sniffling and your face was still wet from past tears, but you were more hungry than upset now and didn’t want to wait for food anymore.

Eren smiled and slid you off his lap, making sure to plant a loving kiss on your forehead before he got up to grab the wooden breakfast tray from the desk. He walked back, setting it on your lap and revealing the stack of 4 heart-shaped pancakes to you that still radiated the warmth from being cooked. There was a tiny plate of butter and a cup of syrup sitting next to it, along with a ceramic mug of Eren’s favorite drink, his warm milk with honey and sugar mixed in. He always used to give it to you every time you came over, trying desperately to get you to favor it, and every time it always tasted bland. Not bad, but it didn’t fit your normal preference for drinks.

Recently though, whenever he’d give it to you with your breakfast, it was much sweeter than before. The milk and honey blended together with a pinch of dissolved sugar just tasted saccharine all of a sudden.

At first, you questioned if he spiked it, but when nothing happened after you drank it, you abandoned the idea. It felt so strange to suddenly enjoy something you’d been so indifferent about, but you didn’t want to overthink it. After all, you just wanted to enjoy the warmth from whatever he made you—to enjoy his warmth because it was all you had. 

“Well, are you going to eat?” Eren asked, questioning why you were staring at your food for so long.

Realizing that you’d spaced out while deep in thought, you muttered a quick “sorry” before grabbing the dull plastic knife on the tray to spread the butter over your pancakes.

While you were preparing your breakfast to your liking, Eren sat on the bed again, placing his arm behind you and sliding as close as he could without getting in your way, your thighs pressing together and his cheek almost touching your head.

He watched intensely as you cut into the syrup-soaked cake and stabbed into the small piece you separated, chomping down on it. As you chewed and swallowed it, he leaned his head on yours to get your attention, “Is it good? Did you like it?”

Nodding your head, you cut out another piece to shove into your mouth, “They’re really good! Did you make them from scratch?”

Eren smiled, feeling his heart melt when you gave him praise. He always ate up every little compliment you gave him, no matter how small it was. It was like a hit of dopamine every time you were even the tiniest bit nice—and he was addicted to it. Once he’d even kicked his legs and squealed into his pillow after you commented that he looked hot in a picture he posted, but that was a secret he would be taking to his grave.

“It’s my mom’s recipe… I just made them with a heart-shaped pan for the shape.” He replied, leaning into you and burying his face into the side of your neck while you continued to eat.

“I didn’t know you owned a heart-shaped pan,” You paused mid-bite, “When did that happen?”

“I got it when all of the Valentine's Day stuff was on clearance in stores… I just hid it in my room because I didn’t want anyone to see it while they were here.” He explained, his cheeks warming up at the thought of someone other than you seeing he owned such a bright pink and heart-shaped pan.

You giggled at his embarrassment and kept eating, enjoying the sweet syrup-soaked pancakes while you could. They were delicious, but especially warm compared to everything else, and you were so desperate to have that warmth that you were scarfing them down and barely savoring the taste. The sweet milk with honey came next, the most familiar part of the meal. You chugged it down so fast that you could feel its heat travel down to your stomach, officially ending your breakfast that morning.

It almost made you sad whenever you finished your food. You always felt extra cold after, especially without Eren there. It was never fun to experience.

“All done?” Eren asked, not allowing you a response before taking the tray from you. He placed it on the nightstand at the foot of the bed and went back to you, pushing you onto your back and crawling on top of you without warning. 

After taking a moment to maneuver himself around and get more comfortable, he placed his head on your shoulder and embraced you, the weight of his body crushing you into the mattress. It hurt a little and almost restricted your breathing, but having what was similar to a heated and weighted blanket on top of you was nice. 

He always did this when you finished your breakfast. It was one of his favorite things to do too. He loved being close to you, breathing in your scent and littering tiny kisses all over your neck and collarbone. It felt wonderful to claim you like that.

As you cocooned him with your limbs, he wriggled his way down until his head met your chest, putting his face between your breasts and squeezing you so they squished against his face. You let a gasp slip, face growing hot as a large smile formed on his lips. 

You tried to push against him to get him off, but you struggled immensely from his weight compared to your strength. It took almost all your energy to get him to budge, but he finally got the hint and sat up after minutes of your whining and squirming—only to grab your chest and squeeze as soon as his hands were free. 

You flinched and simultaneously gasped at the sudden grope, yelling at him with fake anger while batting his arms, “You’re such a fucking perv!” 

He chuckled and put his hand on the bed to lean down, his reddened cheeks so close to yours that you could feel his breath against your face, “Yeah, sure. But you love me, don’t you?”

You were silent while you considered what to say, afraid to lie to him but knowing that if you gave him any answer other than yes, he’d probably lose it on you. You did love him. You really did, but not in the way he wanted you to. You didn’t think you did, at least. He was just a safe space for you. A source of comfort while you were trapped. That didn’t mean you loved him, did it?

Growing insecure at your lack of response, Eren squeezed your arm just tight enough to regain your attention and asked you again, this time with more desperation lingering,  “Don’t you, angel?”

Without thinking it over more, you gave him an unconvincing answer, “Yes. I do.”

Satisfied with your response, he gave you a quick peck on the lips and got up to grab his laptop from the desk. You watched him carefully the whole time, sitting up and eyeing him as he picked up the small computer and carried it back to you. 

He placed carefully it in your lap, plopping down and leaning into you like he did during breakfast, his arm slung around your waist. You stared at the sticker-covered computer in your lap, your hands trembling while you considered asking him about going back upstairs again instead of spending another day in bed binging a random show you chose. 

You’d asked previously, even begged him to give you another chance, but his answer was always the same. He’d tell you that he isn’t ready for that, or that he doesn’t trust you yet. If you tried to ask repeatedly or beg for it, he would get angry with you and even lash out, leaving you alone for the entire day as a punishment, no matter how loud your cries got or how much it stung him to hear them. 

“Can I ask something before we start, Eren?” You managed to get out, your words shaking as you spoke.

You could feel him tense up next to you as you asked, his gaze now fixated on the laptop instead of you.

“What is it?” He asked, already knowing the answer. 

You opened your mouth to talk but stuttered so much trying to get the first word out that you had to pause again before talking.

“Can I go upstairs for the day?” You pleaded, quickly adding onto it so he couldn’t instantly deny you, “I’ll do anything you want! Please! I just… want to leave the basement for a while.”

Silence followed.

You were shaking, terrified of what he was thinking. He was staring at the floor, his brows furrowed as he ran through all of his options. He wasn’t angry, not yet at least. He only would be if you pushed for it too much, but he still hated having to answer that question. Why couldn’t you just be happy with what he gave you? He understood that you were bored and lonely, but it was still frustrating. It was so, so frustrating.

“I don’t know if I can trust you yet,” was all he could manage in response, because If he said any more or got too aggressive there would be tears. And he was so weak to your tears. It was the sole reason he always had to leave you when you cried to be let out. If he stayed, his already weak spirit might break, and then you could weave your way into having your way and escaping. He didn’t want to risk anything close to that.

Despite his effort to avoid it, tears began to prickle in the corner of your eyes, almost as if on command. You wanted to leave so badly that you were partially willing to give up your hope of escape if it meant you could at least have that. You would give all of it, just to have that ounce of freedom and self-autonomy back. 

“I don’t want to leave anymore, Eren! I promise! Chain my ankles or handcuff me to you, whatever!  Please, just let me go upstairs with you!” You begged. It was evident you were pushing his limit with the look that took over his face, but you didn’t know what else you could do to convince him.

Eren shut his eyes, the frown on his face deepening, “Baby, please. Don’t do this today.”

“Please, Eren. Please.” You begged again, the first fearful tear spilling over your cheek. The look you gave him was painful, his chest tightening the longer he stared at you. You’d done this almost every day for the last week and it was so aggravating. He hated being separated from you but you forced it on him by pleading so often.

He looked away from you and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands as he snapped at you, “Why? Why do you want to so badly?! Can’t you just be happy with what I give you?” 

He finished with a sigh and waited quietly for your response, but nothing came. You were silent. 

It took Eren several moments to realize that you weren’t going to talk back, so when he finally lifted his head and looked at you, the sight ripped his heart in two.

You had your eyes squeezed shut and your mouth covered as you sobbed into it, trying to hide the sounds so you wouldn’t irritate him more, but seeing you cry like that with such obvious fear diminished any anger he had. He hated being the cause of your tears. He hated it.

Pulling you into his arms again and pushing the laptop aside, he apologized profusely and held you tighter. You whimpered into him, gripping his shirt while he pushed your face against his chest. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry… I’m sorry for snapping, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He had his hand on your head, digging his fingers into your hair while he repeated his apology, “Please stop crying. Please, you know I hate hearing you cry.”

You hiccuped, holding your breath to choke down your tears. You held it in for a few more moments until you couldn’t anymore, taking an involuntary breath and sobbing into his shirt. In a poor attempt to silence it, you covered your mouth while you cried, quietly begging him not to leave you between sobs. It broke his heart. 

He tried to reassure you, hugging you tightly and petting your head while he cooed, “I won’t leave. I won’t leave this time.”

It took a while, but following a few violent hiccups, silenced sobs, and deep, difficult inhales, your tears were dissipating and you were calming down, clinging to Eren as if your life depended on it. 

He held you close, basking in your touch. He knew why you wanted to leave the basement. He was stupid to think that being trapped there would be enough for you, but after the last time he let you up, he was terrified that you’d try to leave again. If you ever did manage to get away from him, it would mean he’d lose everything, and he didn’t even want to think about that happening. 

You needed to stay with him, where you were safe. Where he could watch over you. But, it was clear you also needed at least a little freedom, otherwise, your mental state could deteriorate even more than it already had, and that would be just as bad as losing you through escape. He didn’t want to reduce you to a shell of your former self. He didn’t want to break you. He just wanted to keep you to himself.

Thinking it over some more while you were wiping your face on his shirt, Eren decided to go against his better judgment and give in to what you wanted, which was exactly what he had been trying to avoid. It was easier that way, considering you were both feeling awful about your situation.

“I’ll—I’ll take you upstairs. I’ll take you upstairs today.” He blurted out, sounding reluctant to say it out loud.

Your entire mood had changed from just that sentence, perking your head up so you could meet his eyes from where you sat on his lap. Eyes wide with excitement, they were lighting up more than they had in the month you’d been stuck there. It was nice for him to see. He’d missed that sparkle so much. 

“I’ll only let you come up if you follow my rules though, okay? If you break them I’m sending you back down and I won’t even think about letting you up for at least a year.” He aggressively added to his previous statement, wanting to be clear with what he expected of you so there wouldn’t be any complaints later.

You rapidly nodded your head, getting ready to agree to whatever he asked if it meant getting that slight sliver of freedom in the end. Lucky for you, he didn’t want to take advantage of your eagerness—not too much at least. He loved you too much to hurt you like that.

With a small sigh, Eren slid you off of his lap and took his laptop, holding out his hand for you after he got up. You took it with a large smile plastered on your face, pulling yourself onto your feet and practically skipping to the stairs because of how happy you were. He was slow to follow after you, not particularly joyful about letting you out of the safe haven he’d created for you, but still willing to if it meant he got to see your bright smile again.

Once he made it to the top, he was hesitant to unlock the door. He really didn’t want to let you out, but when he looked over and saw how excited you looked standing next to him, he couldn’t help but picture how upset you were just prior, and how quickly that changed when he said you could go upstairs. Keeping you locked up and to himself was already selfish enough, he didn’t want to keep suffering even more in a cold basement for his own benefit.

Before he went through the final step of opening the door, he grabbed your hand and squeezed it tight. He was trying to make sure you couldn’t just run off, but also trying to reassure himself that he was doing the right thing. With a final heavy sigh, he unlocked the door and turned the knob with his laptop under his arm, pushing it open and revealing the dim light of morning to you.

You tried to run, not with a hope to escape but more so out of excitement—but Eren was quick to pull you back to him and remind you of your place.

“Don’t forget what I told you.” He spoke sternly, the grip on your hand growing tighter to the point that it hurt. 

His rules—to behave. To do what he asked. From the first time he let you upstairs. The same rules that you broke the last time you were here, and not just because he was vague about what “behaving” meant. Of course, you couldn’t forget.

You sounded dejected as you looked at the creaky wooden floor, “I’m just… excited. Sorry.” 

Sighing, he sauntered forward while pushing you with him, taking the lead but ultimately doing what you wanted by going to the living room. 

Jiyuu got visibly excited when you walked into his view, his fluffy wings opening up slightly while he paced back and forth on the giant bird tree across the room, considering if it was worth it to fly over. 

Eren stopped in his tracks, a small smile brightening his face when he realized what the bird wanted. He always thought it was sweet that he liked you, despite parrots' common behavior of being possessive over their owner. It also made your integration into his home a lot easier, so he wouldn’t have to worry about the bird going after you whenever he was affectionate with you.

“Why don’t you go pick him up?” He asked, trying to push you forward, closer to Jiyuu. 

Excited to see the bird—a living creature other than Eren—but terrified of doing something wrong and being punished for it, you turned to look at him, asking for reassurance that this wasn’t a trap, “Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’m sure. I won’t be mad at you for walking away from me this time.” He assured you, the hand on your back pushing you even further, harsher this time to the point you almost stumbled.

You stepped forward with hesitance, slowly gaining confidence the closer you got to Jiyuu, your saving grace from complete isolation with Eren. Watching carefully, Eren stayed behind, his gaze burning holes into the back of your head. It made you so nervous, his eyes fixated on your every move. Being watched so closely was highly unpleasant and anxiety-inducing, and you could tell that Jiyuu didn’t like it either.

Climbing onto you when you held your arm out, Jiyuu was quick to run to your shoulder and puff his feathers up, squawking loudly at Eren. He’d never been especially protective of you, nor aggressive towards Eren, so this behavior was completely new—at least to you. It was especially shocking because of how loud he was able to scream, the sound triggering a constant ringing in your ears. 

“Eren? What’s wrong with him?” You panicked, turning to see what the bird was so upset about that he had to shriek, only to be face-to-face with Eren. His knees bent slightly so he met your height, startling you even more when you unexpectedly met his piercing green pupils.

His eyes were glued to the bird, his hand lifted in front of him so he would step up from your shoulder. To your surprise, the bird nipped at his hand and chewed on it, stepping on it when he was finished and acting like he hadn’t just screamed at him. “He’s just being moody. Don’t mind it too much, he just gets like this sometimes, ‘specially when I’m not in the best mood. He can tell.”

As he put Jiyuu back on the tree stand to chew on more of his toys, he walked closer and wrapped his arm around you, practically forcing you into his chest with his laptop pressed against your back. When his other hand was free from the bird’s talons, it joined his other to squeeze you tightly, keeping you close as he leaned over you, inhaling the comforting scent from your skin and hair.

You returned the hug, trying to distract yourself from the sinking feeling you had in your chest when he implied that he wasn’t in a good mood. It was obvious it was because of you—because you wanted to go upstairs. It made you feel so guilty, but also so afraid. He could be unpredictable when he was upset, which is probably why Jiyuu didn’t like it either.

“Why don’t we just watch some TV for now? Since he’s in such a bad mood and I still want to laze around…” He spoke up, backing away but leaving little space between you and him.

Without a thought, you nodded, ready to agree to almost anything as long as it would improve his mood and keep you out of your personal hell known as the basement. With your compliance, he was quick to drag you back onto the couch, setting the laptop down on the coffee table and pouncing, crushing you under his weight. Your whines went ignored by him in favor of grabbing the remote to activate the TV, bringing up the news before he swiftly changed it to an on-demand streaming service. He put on one of your favorite shows—one you’d already watched, probably dozens of times since you’d come here—and threw the controller

down, burying his face into your chest and engulfing you in his arms.

Resting your hands on his back when you finally processed everything he’d sped through in seconds, you focused more on him than the TV, although only able to see the top of his head and his messy bun. His face was buried between your boobs again, except this time, instead of smiling and teasing you about it, he shut his eyes and eased into you, feeling secure enough to relax with you trapped underneath him. The shift in mood was apparent, but all you could think to do was run your hands through his hair, hoping that would soothe him enough to think about letting you stay upstairs more often. 

It was silent after that, besides the background noise of the TV playing and Jiyuu preening his feathers and chewing wood. You were both clinging to each other, unmoving and resting. Eren was so warm, it almost made you tired—but you didn’t want to sleep. Not when you were finally experiencing what you’d wanted so badly for weeks. You longed to walk around and explore the house more, but he probably wouldn’t let you. It was frustrating.

“Eren?” You said, trying to get his attention on you instead of whatever he was thinking about in the silence.

He hummed in reply, not bothering to lift his head because he was too comfortable with his face against your chest. 

You twirled some of his loose hair between your fingers, silently trying to persuade him as you asked, “Can we go to your room? I want to see more than just your living room and kitchen.” 

Before you could continue with your long-winded speech trying to convince him to let you go to a different part of the house, he interrupted you with a finger over your lips, letting out a muffled “mm-mm” while he shook his head that was still against your chest. You frowned, moving his finger away from your mouth and continuing to push, “Why not?”

A scowl took over his face as he peered up at you, his chin stabbing into your sternum when he replied with aggressive venom in his tone, “Because I said no. Drop it.”

Once you nodded, a look of stinging fear glazing your eyes, his expression relaxed and he put his face back into your chest. Although your response calmed him, his answer did nothing to satiate your curiosity. You’d been in his room a few times prior to the kidnapping, so what was so different about now?

You let out a small sigh, continuing to run your hands through his hair but turning your attention towards the TV that still played your favorite show, although you’d begun to get rather tired of it after watching it over and over so much. Especially now, when watching different shows and dramas was all Eren had let you do aside from occasionally letting you play games on his laptop. As relaxing as the routine used to be, it was starting to grow excruciatingly dull. There were only so many days you could do nothing but laze around before you grew tired of it.

“Eren.” You began again, desperate for something to entertain you. You didn’t want to spend all your time out of the basement doing the same thing you did in it.

With a quiet groan, he lifted his head again and frowned, “What now?”

“I’m bored… I want to do something other than watch TV.”

Realizing that you weren’t trying to annoy him about getting into his room again, his eyes softened and he replied with a sweeter tone, “Like what?”

“I don’t know. You have games, don’t you?”

“In my room, yeah. But I don’t want you going in there right now and I’m not leaving you alone to grab anything.”

“Then what else can we do?”

When you asked, his brows scrunched together and he averted your gaze, deep in thought. You watched carefully, worried that he would become irate if you were too talkative while he was trying to relax. 

Slowly, his cheeks darkened as an idea popped into his head—one he’d usually tried to push away so that he wouldn’t risk making you feel uncomfortable with your already fragile emotional state, but right now? You seemed to be in a better mood, and much more content with doing just about anything to ease your boredom. There was nothing to stand in the way of his selfish desires.

Noticing the way his former annoyance bloomed into a red-faced fluster, you grew worried and tried to turn his head so he’d look at you, only for him to avoid meeting your eyes. His cheeks were burning hot to the touch and you could tell he had something on his mind.

“What’s wrong?” You tried to ask calmly despite the tremble in your voice, mentally preparing yourself for whatever emotion he might reply with.

A silent pause followed, and he barely managed to stutter it out, his hesitancy to explain his thoughts holding the words back, “I thought of something we could do if you are really that against just watching TV, but—but it’s kind of lewd. It’s—It’s really lewd actually.”

You could feel your cheeks grow warm at all the things that could mean, quietly urging him to continue out of curiosity about his desire, “Yes…? What is it?”

He was quiet again before he met your eyes, replying with a faltering voice full of anxiety, “I was thinking that maybe… we could take turns touching each other, and we could—I could learn more about your body… and we could make it into a game, I guess? If you really want to, the person who finds the most sensitive spots on the other person could win. That would make it more fun, right? Would something like that interest you more than TV?”

He stared at you with pleading puppy eyes while awaiting your response, his pupils swallowing his irises that practically glowed as they peered into your soul. 

Your entire face burned hot, now matching his. You were like shy kids confessing to each other, so tense and unnerved. 

Speaking with an unfamiliar kind of softness in his voice, he sounded like he would explode with embarrassment if you didn’t respond well, “We don’t have to, but I just—I just really want to touch you again. Even without the ‘game’ part. I’ve missed it. A lot.” 

He felt so perverted just saying it out loud.

His offer was tempting, but you didn’t know if you could trust it. Your judgment had felt so clouded recently and you’d been giving into him more under the guise of gaining enough freedom to escape, but how much would you need before you tried to leave again? The thought of escaping was crossing your mind less and less, and you were growing used to being with only Eren all the time, getting dangerously close to enjoying it. 

Part of you was terrified of ever leaving, terrified of how your friends would react when they found out what you’d already let him do to you, and terrified of leaving what you’d just started becoming accustomed to—but another part of you was terrified to stay. If you did, how far would things go? How deep of a hole would you dig for yourself before it was too late to get out?

“We don’t have to!” He repeated, pulling you out of your thoughts, “I could just find something else for us to do if you don’t want to,”

“It’s okay! It’s fine, it’s fine. We can do that.” You blurted out without processing what you were saying. The last thing you wanted was to upset him, so satisfying him was the only option even if it went against your better judgment. You could deal with the guilt later, but right now you had to focus on keeping his trust. Besides, it wouldn’t hurt to give in and have a little fun with someone you’d trusted while you could, take advantage and get the experience you missed out on years before. You’d rather it be him than a stranger. That’s what you told yourself, at least.

“Really? Are you sure?” He asked again to reassure your consent while his lips shifted into a sly smile.

No. You weren’t. But you’d already made your bed, and you’d rather lie in it than rip off the sheets and start from the beginning, “Yeah. I am.”

There was a small moment of silence, the two of you staring at each other before he jumped off of the couch, swiftly making his way to the tree where Jiyuu was. He was quick to take his feathery friend to his cage, closing the door and covering it with the blanket he’d normally only use for him at night. Despite the bird's clear displeasure of being put to bed early, showcased through his sad-sounding caws as the cage was locked, he left the cover on and returned to you on the couch, towering over you with half-lidded eyes and a beet-red face.

“Uh, could you get on my lap when I sit down?” He asked timidly, placing a hand on your shoulder. 

You responded by nodding and sliding to the side, allowing him to sit while he dragged you onto his lap to straddle him.

Once again, it grew quiet. You were looking at anything but each other, the awkward tension making it difficult to keep eye contact. You were both used to intimate actions, but not intimate words, so anything you thought of saying fell short before it could leave your lips. 

It felt like you were fumbling teenagers again, lacking experience and not knowing where to begin—although Eren was the only one of you who had any to begin with. The most you had under your belt was some awkward and sloppy kissing between you and your short-term ex-boyfriends from high school, but he didn’t know that.

“Since this is a game… Do I get anything if I win?” You asked first, trying to break the ice and guarantee at least something good would come out of this.

You watched the cogs turn in Eren’s head for a moment before he responded, trying to figure out how to word it so that you didn’t request anything unreasonable after his answer, “I guess you can have something… Just tell me what, as long as it doesn’t have anything to do with leaving.”

It only took you a minute to decide what you wanted, the idea popping into your head rather quickly when you thought about what he would actually be willing to give, “Can I go in your room?”

He sighed hearing your response, a cross glare in his eyes while he reluctantly acceded, “Fine, but only if you A, win, and B, give me until tomorrow to clean it.”

The excitement you had grew rapidly, but just as it peaked, it dissipated when you remembered what you would have to do to get your reward, and the fact that it wasn’t guaranteed in the first place. The small smile that’d grown on your face faded once you realized it, and then the pressure ramped up once again.

“So…” He finally began, a short pause holding him while his eyes drifted down to your chest, his hands landing on your hips where he rubbed small circles into them with his thumbs, “Where should we start?”

You were both anxious, but he was the only one trying to hide it. His hands were shaking, but he tried to mask it with subtle movements down your plush thighs. He wanted to touch you. He wanted to feel all of you and run his hands over your entire body—but he wanted to make sure you wanted it too. He needed you to want it too.

“Wherever you want,” you replied, too nervous to say much else. His hands felt like fire against your cold skin, the feeling of them gliding over your body making your cheeks boil. 

His fingers grazed down to your knees and back up your body, stopping just below your chest to speak quietly, “I want to touch you everywhere though.” 

It was obvious what he wanted to do, but was too nervous to do it. His brows scrunched together while he stared at your chest, sunken in thought. The sight almost had you giggling from how silly he looked like that, so deeply focused on your breasts. To try and urge him forward and get past both of your anxieties, you slowly intertwined your fingers with his, leading his hands up to grope you.

His eyes flicked up to you as he made contact with your chest again, his gaze relaxing and eyes lighting up as they stared into yours. You looked so pretty in your current position, sitting on his lap with your cute thighs squished against him, your hands covering his, and your gorgeous eyes shying away from his stare. 

“Can I kiss you? Please?” He asked, leaning in so close that you could feel the heat radiating off of his crimson face while he squeezed you.

Letting out a small squeak from his grip, you decided to skip the verbal reply and gently pushed your lips against his, your noses bumping awkwardly because you were hesitant to do anything that could deepen the kiss further. Despite this, Eren missed the cue and tilted his head to the side, trying desperately to interlock your lips and part yours.

His groping grew rougher as he relaxed, fingers touching your nipples through the thin shirt you wore, the fabric barely shielding how hard they were growing. Your face was burning while he felt you up, sweat beading on your forehead when something stiff pressed against your crotch. 

It was so warm. Everything about him was warm. His body, his demeanor, even his smell. It was all so warm compared to the cold you always felt. Even before he took you away, it was always cold. But he was so warm.

“Eren…” you mumbled into his lips, your pulse rising and your arms falling over his shoulders.

He pulled away for a moment, face still inches away from yours, “What is it?”

“You’re warm.”

You could feel him chuckle as you said it, responding with “So are you.”

He kissed you again, this time carefully pushing his tongue between your lips in a way that was less than forceful and moving one of his hands to the back of your neck to hold you there. His touch sent tingles up your spine, your body melting into his hands. It was like your integrity burned away when he was close, and you couldn’t help but crave more.

Eren’s other palm slipped under your shirt, sliding up your stomach and squeezing your bare breast before lifting the fabric further. Your body tensed again, suddenly growing anxious at the thought of him seeing your chest nude. It’s not like he hadn’t before, but it was only now that it felt so nerve-wracking. You couldn’t pinpoint why, but now the thought made your heart race.

When he finally pulled his face away from yours, giving you time to breathe, it was only so he could pull your shirt over your head and throw it aside. Following that, his mouth was back on yours and he was reaching for your chest again—but this time, you stopped him. You took your arms off his neck to cover yourself, anxiety pulsing at the thought of him looking at you more. You didn’t feel this way the other times you’d been nude around him, so why were you so nervous now? Everything was burning all of a sudden, and it almost made you feel sick.

“Hey, is something wrong?” Eren questioned in his sweetest voice, attempting to quell your sudden fear by backing off to cup your cheek, his other hand resting on your thigh. You tried to look him in the eyes, but your stomach sank when you met them. His irises were the brightest, most intimidating green that made your heart ache, you couldn’t stand to stare. 

“I’m—I’m kind of scared.” You stammered, staring down at his hand while his thumb rubbed small circles into your skin.

His brows furrowed as he overthought what you said, “Just… all of a sudden? It wasn’t like this before, why now?” 

He didn’t mean to seem angry, but his expression showed the opposite. So, feeling pressured with a slight tinge of fear in your eyes, you quietly apologized and began to uncover yourself, afraid of upsetting him and causing any harm that might get you sent back downstairs. He stopped you immediately, grabbing your wrists and holding them so your arms still covered you. 

“Don’t apologize… It’s fine if you don’t want to.” He reassured, reaching to grab your shirt beside him on the couch, “I don’t want to do anything if you don’t want to.”

Sadness laced his tone, his expression matching it as he pulled the garment over your head. It wasn’t because you were hesitant to go further with him, you knew that, but your heart hurt to see him making such a face. So sad, even with the tiny smile on his lips that was meant to reassure you. It was more than just wanting to stay upstairs. You wanted to make him feel happy. Even if you felt guilty about how you would do it.

“No, no, Eren…” You stopped him from pulling the shirt down, pushing it back over your chest while you wiped your watering eyes with your other arm. “It’s—It’s not that. I'm just—I’m—So nervous.” 

“What are you nervous about?” He asked, trying to avoid the temptation of looking at your now bare torso while he addressed the issue at hand. 

“I don’t know,” you started, mentally going through the list of things that were making you anxious to find something to say other than the truth about the shame you felt, “This is just… a lot different than the last few times you’ve seen me naked. You’re so close so you’re going to see… everything.”

“I don’t care what they look like. The only thing I care about is that it’s you.” He grabbed your hands and squeezed them, cheeks blazing red as he leaned close to you to confess, “You’re perfect to me. So perfect.”

Your heart began to swell again, this time for a different reason. 

He always made you feel so wanted, even before he took you away, his words like a warm blanket around your needy heart. It almost had you crawling into his hold, with no intention of ever leaving. No one ever praised you like he did, so maybe that’s why it had such a large effect on you. You were so susceptible to it that it was dangerous to your escape, constantly tiptoeing the line between enjoying the praise and falling face-first into Stockholm syndrome. It was a dangerous game you were playing, and without even realizing, you were losing. 

“Can… you touch me again?” You asked quietly after letting his praise marinate in your head for a minute, prying your hands out of his to pull your shirt over your breasts again. 

Shocked by your sudden switch-up, his eyes widened for a moment before he awkwardly nodded while placing his hands on your waist, finally letting his eyes trail down to your breasts.

Seeing them so close sent blood rushing not only to his face, but also down under, his already semi-hard on pushing uncomfortably against his pants. He wanted to brand them with his bites and kisses, cover them in his spit, and bruise them with hickeys to claim them as his. He was opposed to rushing you though, so all he could do was drag his hands up your torso until they finally cupped around your soft flesh, squeezing lightly just to confirm that he was really touching you and that it wasn’t just another wet dream.

You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to repeat his reassurances in your head while he fondled you. His normally cold hands were warm against your skin, squishing and playing with your chest and making your already hot body feel like it was burning. 

He was pushing them together, bouncing them, and holding them in his palms. It was so embarrassing, but you were trying desperately to keep it together. When you finally brewed up enough confidence to pry your eyes open, you saw how happy he looked, as silly as it was, and it took everything inside of you not to let out a giggle that could’ve embarrassed him. You wanted him to keep enjoying himself, even if your face burned from the awkwardness of it.

But just as you were growing used his hands on you, he threw a question at you that hit like a brick to the face, draining every ounce of courage out of you in a split second, “Can I… suck on them?”

He was leaning towards your chest as he spoke, looking up at you with anticipating eyes that made another wave of intense heat flare through your face. You were barely getting used to his fondling, but to suck on them? You might faint. With no experience except your own fingers and numerous toys, you didn’t even know how sensitive your nipples could be. The thought of squirming around in his lap while he lapped so leisurely on your tits made you shiver. But at the same time, it also piqued your curiosity and made the warmth between your thighs grow. You couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like.

“Yeah. Sure. That’s—That’s fine. Just—be gentle, ok? No one’s ever done that to me before…” You replied with a shaking voice, brows pushed together with worry while you avoided eye contact.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” He asked rhetorically, hungry eyes still gazing up at you as he leaned towards your chest. He broke his stare to pull your shirt up and off again, cupping your breasts and latching onto one of your nipples like it was all he was born to do. 

You winced in response, anxious to experience the feeling for the first time. Just having your sensitive bud in his mouth felt so different, so warm and wet—so when he took a long, slow lick, you couldn’t stop the whimper that left your throat. 

He almost lost his composure right then when he heard that noise. It was amazing, like a slice of a heavenly melody he wanted to keep locked in his brain forever. He wanted more of those sounds. He needed more of them.

With your other breast cupped in his palm, he started to pinch and nudge the bud while he sucked softly on the one in his mouth. You were already letting out more quiet whines, holding the back of his head while your fingers tangled in his hair. You couldn’t even begin to explain the burning pleasure that rippled from your chest to your core or the throbbing ache that proliferated between your thighs. It felt so much better than you imagined, and as much as you didn’t want to admit it, Eren being the one to do it made your heart race. 

Desperate to pry more sounds from you, his intensity rose by the minute, lips tugging on your nipple and fingers pinching the other. As more soft whines and moans spilled from your mouth, your spine arching to push your chest further into his face, he could feel the stiffness in his pants painfully begging to be freed. You sounded beautiful, he just wanted to throw you onto the couch and fuck you senseless while you cried out. Holding back from that was so hard, especially with all the cute noises you were making. He wanted to take you right here, but he knew he’d have to be patient if he didn’t want you to feel rushed or forced. He needed to be like a wolf stalking its deer. Slow, calculated, determined.

Pulling away from your mound, he looked at your swollen, spit-covered bud, smiling to himself with newfound confidence while moving to your other one. His possessive feelings were growing with each mark he left on you, every new blemish claiming another piece of your body for himself. Once he had all of you, god knows how he’d act.

He had one arm around you, pushing you closer to him to make it easier for him to swallow your chest while his hands groped your ass and felt up the wet spot between your legs, just barely tugging at the hem of your shorts when the opportunity arose. He was sucking hard, running his tongue diligently over the nipple and flicking it repeatedly to steal more moans from you. Every noise, every whimper, and every whine was just more motivation to him, fueling his excitement to keep touching you and eventually have you touch him. He almost couldn’t take it anymore, the bulge in his pants becoming increasingly painful the longer this went on.

It seemed he finally snapped after a few more minutes of vigorous sucking and quiet whimpers, grabbing your arms and forcing his face away from your chest after he heard you whisper out his name. As much as he wanted to continue the petting, he needed to have you now or he might just burst. 

“Fuck whatever stupid idea I had for a game, I need you to touch me. I need you to touch me now, please.” Eren begged, sounding more desperate than you’d ever heard him before, almost growing teary-eyed at how pent-up he was becoming. His hips were roughly grinding into yours, praying for anything to rub against or release his tension. He was so frantic that you thought he might get on his knees and beg if you said no.

If you were being honest with yourself, you were curious. You wanted to know what he felt like and how he would react. You wanted to revel in the feeling of being desired so badly.

“You want me to touch you… that bad?” You asked, your voice quivering from the intense feeling rumbling through your body that you could only describe as heavy. Without Eren’s support, you would probably collapse into a hot mess on the couch.

Eren’s eyes grew wide as if you were spouting nonsense in a language he didn’t understand, “Of course I do! Why the hell do you think we’re here in the first place? I’ve never wanted anything so badly!”

His hands were shaking out of frustration, his grip strong enough to leave marks. Though, when the fear gleamed in your eyes and your muscles tensed up, he was quick to calm, loosening his hold and sliding his hands down to hold yours instead.

“I’m… I’m sorry, I’m just… so, so desperate. I want you so badly,” He apologized, looking down to avoid shameful eye contact with you, “I need you. Badly.”

You stared at him quietly for a moment, playing around with the ideas in your head before deciding through your lust-clouded judgment that you wanted him too. In the moment, you didn’t care if you would regret it later. You just wanted to touch him. You wanted to have control over him, if only for a little while.

For once, you were the one to make the first move, leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on his forehead while you reached your hand to his groin. His entire body stiffened as you put your hand on the tent in his pants, his cheeks flushing when he peeked up at you with that desperate look in his eyes.

“Please—Please be gentle. Don’t squeeze it too much, I don’t—know how much I can take…” He stuttered out as if the fabric holding his cock back hurt any less than you squeezing him too tightly would.

Nodding, you caressed him again, watching carefully as his eyes squeezed shut and he leaned back, uttering a soft moan from your hand on the underside of his cock. He was still tense, but you could see that he was enjoying your touch, so you carried on. Beginning gently, you cupped him through the thin fabric of his pajama pants and massaged your hand up and down his pulsing shaft, eventually moving to tug at the band around his waist to silently ask permission to free him from his confines. 

Although you wanted to take it slow, you were also desperate to see and touch him without the barrier separating you; and it seemed like he was too. That much was evident when he didn’t bother to let you pull his pants or boxers down, ripping them off himself and leading your hand back to his freed shaft by your wrist.

Catching on quickly, you tightened your hand around him and eyed up his length, examining it while he went back to gasping at every little movement you made. He was a lot bigger than you expected him to be up close, not to mention how heavy he felt in your palm. Seeing all of the little things you hadn’t noticed previously, it looked so different too. 

Veins crawled up from the bottom of his girth, stopping a few inches before reaching his head, and he was swollen and red at the tip, already leaking precum. His bush was well-trimmed, a tiny freckle at the base of it, and it curved upwards while it twitched in your hand. You never thought you’d see a dick that looked so… perfect. Just holding his weight in your hands had you clenching around nothing, the thought of it filling you up passing through your mind more than once.

You slowly moved your hand up, stopping with your thumb on the underside of where his head and shaft met. You’d read online about men being sensitive in that spot, and it appeared to be true by the way his breath hitched when you ghosted your digit over it. Curious, you pressed lightly and caressed the spot up and down, causing his hips to jolt unexpectedly while a louder gasp left his throat. 

“Ohh my god. Oh my god.” He breathed out, pushing his elbows into the cushions behind him to grip the couch beneath his thighs more efficiently. He’d never felt this good, even with his other, more experienced flings in the past. Even with less skill and precision, you were just so much better.

You were you. His dream. Everything he’d ever wanted in life. That’s what you were. His most prized possession, his most important person. That alone made everything feel superior. Because it was you doing it.

Enjoying the erotic look on his face, you kept up your motions and continued to stroke the spot below his head, sending him into a frenzy of squirms and whimpers as he grew overstimulated just by the pad of your thumb. His hips bucked up, desperate to get more friction to tip him over the edge of his already approaching orgasm.

“Fuck—Fuck, you have no idea how good this feels.” He uttered under his breath, voice shaking as you rubbed even faster. His whimpers were high-pitched, turning into something more akin to whines as he neared the end; but just as he was reaching the hilt of his pleasure, you pulled your hand away, leaving him to cry and plead for your touch again. 

Seeing him so desperate for it was such a change from his usual self. It was like the roles swapped, and now you were the one that had him wrapped around your finger. You never wanted it to end. You longed to keep what little control over him you had for as long as you could. Plus, he looked cute when he was the one tomato-faced and begging.

Leaning close, you kissed his jaw while he audibly sniffled, reaching up to put your hand behind his head and push it forward to kiss his forming tears away. He whimpered again, one hand clawing the couch while the other flew to your hip. You pecked his face, slowly trailing to his lips so you could kiss, fully entrapping him in the scheme forming in your head. 

Your fingers wrapped around his shaft for a second time, shocking him into pulling away before you pushed your lips against his again, assertive about keeping his mouth against yours. He was already moaning into you, grip growing tight as you began moving your hand up and down his length.

He was practically melting underneath you, arms trembling as your hand worked his hardness, pumping it rapidly. His cries for you were only growing louder, turning into muffled chants about how close he was to finishing. You loved to hear it, but you knew you didn’t want it to end so soon.

Once again, you let go of him, moving off of his lap and taking a seat next to him on your knees while he whined about your second absence. However, his complaints ceased when he realized what you were doing, your head already moving closer to his length and your hand taking its place at the base of it. 

“Wait, wait,” He panicked, trying to stop you, reaching forward to grab some of your hair and pull your head away, “Are—Are you sure you want to do that? It doesn’t taste as good as you might think.”

Your mouth changed from its open “O” into a pout, a frown taking over your features as he stopped you from finishing him off, “I know what I want, Eren. Please let me.”

With your familiar longing gaze piercing his, he was quick to give in and remove his hand from your head, thanking the lord that he held the motivation to wash himself regularly and make sure he was clean every time he interacted with you. Right now you wanted him almost as much as he wanted you, and if you were so certain about it then he wasn’t about to stop that. He needed to take his chance to savor it because god knows how long he’d wanted this and when he'd get another chance. You finally wanted him too, so it would be foolish to stop now.

“Just… don’t push yourself.” He muttered, running his hand down your back while you resumed what you were doing before.

You nodded with a quiet hum, placing a gentle kiss on the head and taking an experimental lick just below. Tracing the pad of your finger up and down his veins, you took in all of the little shudders you managed to coax out of him and began a trail of kisses down the underside of his length. The way he was almost pouting with embarrassment while his cheeks were such a deep shade of red was adorable, it just made you want more. You wondered if this was how he felt about you most of the time, so enamored that he couldn't think about anything other than your face.

Reaching the base with your pecks, his cock twitching every time you made contact, you stuck out your tongue and pressed it against him. Slowly and tediously, you dragged it back up to the top, leaving a trail of saliva in your wake while Eren bit back a whine. A few more frivolous kisses to the tip and you finally took him into your mouth, pushing your tongue against him while you lowered your head as much as you could without gagging.

Lifting your head, you peered up at him, studying his face while you tried to force more into your mouth, unable to fit more than a few inches before tears emerged in the corners of your eyes. He was so big, you could barely get anything in, but that didn’t seem to affect the amount of pleasure it gave him when you finally began bobbing your head. Eren was already turning into a mess again, but the second you started moving the hand on his shaft in rhythm with your mouth, he nearly broke down crying from the feeling. 

Tracing shaky hearts on your back, he stared down at you, trying to burn the image he saw into his memory and lock it away for safekeeping. It was exhilarating to see you like this, so much so that he had to cover his mouth to prevent the moans that slipped out from growing too loud. He couldn’t handle it, especially after being edged twice, he was going to go crazy if you didn’t let him finish this time. 

Holding himself still was the most difficult thing, especially when all he wanted to do was hammer into your throat like there was no tomorrow—but he didn’t want to make you choke on him. Not yet, at least. It felt too early to be that rough with you. 

Being built up and denied satisfaction the last two times meant it wasn't long before the band was stretched again, dangerously close to breaking. The way your tongue pressed against the sensitive spot below his head, the way your fingers curled around him and stroked everything that didn’t fit in your mouth had him gasping for air. It was driving him up the wall, pushing him so close that he could feel himself at the very edge, nearly tumbling over it even if you weren’t the best at what you were doing. 

When your eyes flicked up to meet his, watching his ruby-red and sweat-slicked face twisted with pleasure, he finally snapped. You watched his eyes squeeze shut as he threw his head back, crying out in whimpers as he lost control of his hips through his orgasm, repeatedly chanting “I love you” between swears.

You couldn’t help but gag as more than you could handle was shoved down your throat, eyes going wide as your mouth was coated with a bitter taste that made you wince. You had to pull away while he was still coming, coughing and gagging more at the feeling of his release in your throat while the rest spilled over your hand.

Eren was apologizing under his breath, still struggling through the pleasure of his climax—but you decided to push him the slightest bit further as revenge for making you choke, massaging your finger over the same spot you had earlier and sending a shock through his entire body again. You continued to touch him as you sat up, leaning into him with your head on his shoulder so you could feel the way he shook from the overstimulation. 

“Please—Please, oh my god I can’t take it.” He cried, tears bordering his eyes as you teased him. Seeing that you didn’t want to go too overboard, you decided to give him mercy and let go, watching him go limp as his body finally relaxed. He was panting, covered in sweat like he’d just finished one of the intense basketball scrimmages you used to watch him do, even though he’d only gotten sucked off and pleasured. It was almost cute to you, mostly because it made it much more obvious how much of a hold you had on him, and you enjoyed it. You enjoyed being desired.

  Following a few minutes of quiet, filled only with sounds of his panting and shuffling of you snuggling against his arm, he spoke up again through pants, slowly coming back into his normal headspace that was dedicated to caring for you, “Was… Was that okay? Are you doing okay?”

Your eyes half-lidded while you stared at him from his shoulder, you nodded with a smile spreading across your lips. The bliss of everything was still holding onto you, the giddy feeling that bubbled in your chest stemming from the moments prior. You just wanted to stay like this, cuddled up against him while you relaxed together in sweet silence, only broken occasionally by your back-and-forth comments about aftercare and gentle kisses to his collarbone.

When Eren finally decided to get up, still so delirious from the pleasure that he hadn’t even thought about how you were out of sight, it was only to grab a rag and some water from the kitchen. Then was back on the couch as quickly as he’d left, tidying you up and pulling you into his lap to cradle you. While you clung to him, burying your face into his neck, he leaned forward to grab your shirt from the floor, quickly pulling it over your head so you could get back to cuddling. 

You were feeling oddly clingy, more so than before. You just wanted to stay in his arms, snuggled up to his warm body. It was the most at peace you’d felt since you’d been taken. It felt nice. 

Suddenly pulling you out from your comfort, Eren pushed your face away from his neck, eliciting a whine from you as he grabbed the glass of ice water and brought it up to your lips, “Come on, you should drink. I know that I probably didn’t taste very good…”

Pouty about being pulled away, you snapped back playfully with a raised brow while pushing the glass away, “How would you know what you taste like?” 

His face twisted in embarrassment, his brows furrowing as he stammered trying to explain himself, “Well, I don’t, but I’ve just—I’ve been told it doesn’t taste very good.”

You giggled at his response, “That doesn’t mean you don’t taste good to me,” even though it was true that he tasted rather foul.

Slightly flustered, Eren quickly tried to regain control of the conversation, feigning confidence while placing his hand on your nape to push your face close to his, “Well why don’t you let me have a taste for myself so I can see?”

“Mm, how am I supposed to do that?” You asked.

“Like this.” He replied, pushing his lips against yours and dipping his tongue into your mouth before pulling away just as quickly, leaving you stunned at his sudden shamelessness.  

While you were still staring at him with your mouth slightly agape, he pushed the glass cup into your hands, forcing you to hold it as he guided it up to your mouth. Finally pulled out of your trance, you let out a small sigh and took a sip, the cool water finally washing away the bitter taste his release had left in your mouth. 

“I guess I don’t taste that bad,” He started, which on its own almost caused you to spit out the water, only to be shocked again when he continued the statement, “Or maybe I was just tasting you.”

You nearly choked while trying to swallow, yelling out afterward and slapping his shoulder, “Eren!”

“Shh, shh, just come here so I can hold you again.” He cooed, taking the glass from you and pulling you against him, “My angel.”

Pressing kisses to your head, he smiled as you snuggled into him, nuzzling your nose into the crook of his neck while he pet your hair. With both of you relaxed, it was quiet once more, the two of you cuddled into each other as the silence surrounded you, leaving you both to your thoughts.

Eren was thinking about what you’d said, about what you wanted if you won his “game.” Even if you didn’t remember it in the moment, he would feel bad if he didn’t give it to you eventually. Not to mention, you were smart. You’d end up asking about it again at some point. He knew you would, and the thought of it made him anxious.

It’s not that he didn’t want you to go into his room, it was just that the things he had out would be deathly embarrassing for you to see. Once he got the chance to clean everything up, it would be fine for you to come in. If anything, he wanted you to stay in his room. He wanted to be able to trust you enough to sleep in his bed with him, to experience that kind of deep intimacy with you; but with everything you’d done recently, he still wasn’t sure about it. However, he did have a somewhat peculiar idea about what you could do to gain his trust—one that would get the authorities off of his back too if he played the cards right. Your reaction to the idea would tell him all he needed to know about how much he could trust you too. It was brilliant—at least to him, it was.

As if your minds were parallel to one another, you decided to speak up and ask about what’d been promised to you, “Hey… am I still gonna get my reward since I technically won that game you mentioned?” 

“Funny you say that actually, I was just thinking about it,” he began his reply, tightening his arms around you so that you would be as flush against him, no space separating you, “And I thought about something else we could do that you might like a little more.”

Jumping to the conclusion that he was trying to back out of his past agreement, a frown formed on your face and you opened your mouth to scold him, only to be stopped with a finger pushed to your lips followed by his loud shushing.

“Shh! Just let me finish before you chew me out!” He hushed you, pressing kisses between your wrinkled brows until they relaxed, then continuing, “My idea wasn’t that different from yours. It’s pretty much the same. I’ll let you come into my room tomorrow, except I’ll also let you stay the night with me there.”

Again not allowing him to finish, you interrupted excitedly with a smile already taking over your face, “Really? In your bed? With you?”

Eren already spent many of his nights downstairs with you, but that wasn’t the same as sleeping with him in his bed. Sleeping in his room not only meant you were free from the unfriendly aura of the basement, but that you would have light when you woke up. You could wake up to the warm morning sun for the first time in a month. You’d missed it so much.

“Yes. With me.” He began again, clearing his throat and frowning at your repetitive habit of interrupting him, “But only under one condition.” 

Taking note of his annoyance, you stayed quiet this time, eyeing him as a way of silently asking him to continue.

“You need to call the police department tomorrow morning and tell them you don't want to go home.”

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