#clegn fic

[heretoobsessstuff]

So I had a burst of inspiration at 2 am last night and whipped this out in 2 hours!! Here’s a little Drabble:

Summary:

“Hey, look at me. You alright?” Gale pressed, moving closer, standing between his legs and cupping his face in his hands. He went to nod, but the gesture turned into a shake. When he opened his eyes, he found Gale gazing at him with shiny, concerned eyes.

“No,” he finally managed, hot tears streaming down his cheeks despite his efforts to hold them back.

Or Post-war, Gale has been sent to another base in another city for a few months and John is not dealing well with his absence. It all comes to a head when one of John’s trainees almost crashes.

You can read it on ao3 here:

John was pissed. God why the fuck had he done that for? He couldn't shake the image of that near crash; it felt like a ghost haunting him, dredging up memories he'd fought too damn hard to keep within. Triggering a sense of fear he hadn't felt this vividly since the war. The chaos of training had been too much, inevitably pushing him to the edge; before he knew it, he was confronting the director, words cold and sharp, which had earned him a clear-cut punch to the jaw. The new recruits were struggling, and it felt like he was the only one who cared enough to say something. But he had definitely taken things too far, and now he was nursing a bruised ego as well.

“I think you should go home,” Demarco said grimly when they got back to the offices. John shook his head. He needed a mirror to inspect the damage that was done. Maybe a smoke too, perhaps with a glass of scotch.

“What makes you think I can’t handle a few punches?” John spat. Even though he was going for sarcasm, he sounded miserable. Benny looked at him like he was looking at a wounded horse who’s about to be put out of his misery, pity written all over his face.

“Don’t look at me like that” John glared at Benny, walking over to his desk to get a smoke.

“I’m not looking at you like anything,” Benny said, shaking his head.

“You are” John bit back, taking a whiff of the smoke.

“And how is it that I’m looking at you?”

“With pity” He said, a bit louder than he intended to. A few officers turned their heads to look at

him. He closed his eyes, exhaling audibly. When he opened them he saw Benny walking over to him, eyes narrowed in frustration and sadness.

“There we go again” John sighed, leaning against the desk.

“I don’t want your damn-“

“Quit being an asshole” Benny said, shoving him lightly on the shoulder. His hand lingered there. He grabbed his cigarette and took a whiff , blowing it on John’s face.

“You took some punches today. I know you can take it. But damn it! you don’t have to act like you’re made of Steele. Go home, take a shower, get something to eat, other than scotch. Get some sleep and come back tomorrow” He said. Tapping him on the shoulder. John went to protest but Benny beat him to it.

“Listen. Tonight was fucking rough, I get it. Just go home, get some rest, maybe get laid. I don’t know man blow off the steam and we’ll deal with everything tomorrow okay?”

John wanted to protest. Wanted to yell at Benny that he safety net was gone because Gale wasn’t here and he couldn’t get fucking laid or blow off steam. Instead all that came out was a choked sound, something between a laugh and a sigh. It was miserable and embarrassing. Benny was looking at him with soft eyes and John hated it. He needed to get the hell out of there.

“Okay” John got out. Clearing his throat. He needed to leave before he embarrassed himself more.

“Finally! He agrees to something” Benny declared to the whole room, earning a few huffs of laughter.

John grabbed his coat from the chair and picked his keys. Benny was still looking at him with that weird look that John couldn’t read. Concern? Tinted with a hint of -mirth? A small smile was starting to form on his lips and John shook his head in disbelief. What the hell was he on?

“What the hell are you smiling about? This happy to get rid of me?” John shot but his tone lacked the bite and was more amused than annoyed. Benny shrugged.

“Maybe. ? Just- Go home, Bucky” He said. Winking at him and leaving before John could say anything.

Benny was ridiculous. If his knuckles didn’t hurt so much he would’ve punched him in the face.

~ ~ ~

The drive home was a blur, the adrenaline from the day seeping out of him, leaving him drained. He barely registered the moment he pulled into his driveway.

Home. He let out a bitter laugh. Benny had been insistent that he go home, but what did home mean for John anymore? A cold bed with dirty sheets he hadn’t changed in months? An empty fridge with two cans of expired tomato sauce and a few beers? A constant reminder of Gale not being there? The creeping realization that he was becoming a borderline alcoholic? That he was losing it more and more day by day?

He unlocked the door and stepped inside, immediately noticing the kitchen light on. A dim glow from the living room illuminated the space, too. He hadn’t turned on that light in ages. He closed the door gingerly, tiptoeing toward the kitchen, heart racing. Months of being a prisoner of war in nazi Germany had made him a little paranoid and he couldn’t go anywhere without his little hand gun these days. He pulled it out just in case.

“Who’s there?” he called, trying to sound firm, though his voice betrayed a slight tremor.

“It’s me, John,” came a voice from the back. He jumped, spinning around so fast he nearly got whiplash. Was he hallucinating? Had he really lost it this time?

“God, you and your soldier senses. Can’t even surprise you anymore,” Gale said, smiling just a little. He was standing there, hair messy and falling into his forehead, faint dark shadows under his eyes like he was tired, probably because he had driven over 10 hours to get there. Still, he was the most beautiful thing John had ever seen. He gulped, feeling suddenly parched.

“What are you doing here?” was all he could manage to say, caught between disbelief and relief. He had dreamed of this moment so many times, to have Gale within arm’s reach, to be able to hold him close whenever he wanted to. To look into his eyes when he spoke and not stare at the wall in front of the phone table. But now that he was actually here, he was speechless, feet rooted to place.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Gale smiled warmly, stepping closer as he eyed the gun.

“Are you still debating whether you should shoot me or not?” he teased, his grin disarming him. He holstered his gun, heart racing in a different way now.

“When did you get here?” A lump was forming in his throat, ridiculous as it felt.

“Just about an hour ago. I told Benny I was coming, and he promised to send you home as soon as possible.” So that’s why Benny had been looking at him like a fool. John bit his lip, attempting a smile. This was overwhelming; his mind was racing, a dull throb beginning in his temples.

Sensing his nerves, Gale frowned, moving closer and grabbing his hand gently, voice soft as he spoke. “I’m sorry I scared you, darling. I just wanted to surprise you.” Concern flickered in his eyes when John said nothing, his thumb drawing small soothing circles on his knuckle. Hearing the sound of Gale’s voice in person and not over a rickety phone, deep and warm and familiar, made his knees feel weak. Exhaustion washed over him.

“No, it’s alright. I’m just... wow. I can’t believe you’re here.” The lump in his throat grew heavier. He needed to sit down.

“I... I just need to sit,” he said, a hint of desperation creeping in. He took two steps to the kitchen chair and sank down with a heavy thump. Gale watched him closely, his expression shifting from worried to shocked when he saw the beginnings of the bruises blooming on his face.

“God, John what the hell happened? Are you okay?” he asked, his hand reaching up to trace where he’d been punched. The gentle touch felt almost too cautious, as if he was afraid of breaking him. John nodded, closing his eyes against the burning behind his eyelids, as Gale inspected his face, the tightness in his throat was suffocating.

“Hey, look at me. You alright?” Gale pressed, moving closer, standing between his legs and cupping his face in his hands. John went to nod, but the gesture turned into a shake instead. When he opened his eyes, he found Gale gazing at him with shiny, concerned eyes.

“No,” he finally managed, hot tears rolling down his cheeks before he could do anything to stop them.

“I’m not,” he choked out, the words more a whimper than a statement. Gale moved quickly, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him into a hug. John buried his face in his blouse, breathing in the familiar scent of his aftershave, he couldn’t help the quiet sobs that escaped him as he was wrapped up in Gale. His body finally letting go of all the tension he’d kept in the past few months.

“Shhh, I got you. What’s got you this worked up, darling?” Gale whispered, holding him tighter, running his fingers through his hair, which was likely gross and sweaty. John wrapped his arms around his waist, clinging to him like a lifeline.

“Missed you” He croaked, voice muffled against Gale’s sternum. Gale held him against his chest, kissing the top of his head.

“I’m here now. You’re alright.” He murmured, and John nodded against him, feeling the crushing weight of these past months begin to lift just a little. Gale was here, and maybe—just maybe—he would be okay.