#classicDisneyAddict

[lovelikeinthecinema]

Yasssssssssss ✨ growing up I had what you can say an “abusive” home. I also had a dope as dad and mom whenever they weren’t under the influence. Literally two total different people. Lives. And well.. every year at least once.. my parents would take us to Disneyland. They both had decent jobs from 8-5 and worked all year to take us to our yearly Disney trip and to at least a few other vacation spots. Whether it be Vegas or the Grand Canyon that year... I block out all the good. But recently I’ve accomplished my 4th moth of therapy. I guess it being virtual helped at the beginning.. but being more alone than ever. Not just mentally and emotionally this time around. I’m kind of glad I did it. I have ways to manage my stress now. I’m not embarrassed or ashamed to express myself. I don’t give any expectations to anything unnecessary or to people. I live life in the moment. Well I try to. It’s fucking hard. I do it everyday though. Again, I try. I hadn’t been in therapy since I was a teen. And then it helped me enormously. And I was advised to write. And start a journal. Not just a dream journal .. and then I guess I thought I was “cured” better. And so I just thought well. I got this. I can just go out in the world and love. I’ll be just fine. That’s more than my parents or siblings could say. But I never had the time nor the patience to love myself. Or at least I didn’t make time. I didn’t put effort to Learn the patience. I know now as a child of abuse that these things are often common. I hear women grown and strong successes etc.. pouring out, sharing. And man, I am so not alone. Haha. And if I am at times. That’s okay too. But must I keep all my emotions bottled in? Nah lol. I am super glad I finally have a relationship with my sister and have overcome major obstacles despite this pandemic. And I think I really do deserve this trip. I can just go to a place in my mind and life where I was innocent. My sis and I would pop in a VHS or I would .. haha for us both. And she of course liked the classics and the princesses... ✨ I can’t wait.