#cjd rambles

[chut-je-dors]

update on life: a regular menace has joined the party

[claudiajcregg]

I love these! (Doing and asking :) 🙅‍♀️ 🤔 🏅☀️

Grrr. Tumblr ate the mostly written post because of course it did. Thank you for asking, Mia 💕 These were really fun to answer (and also hard). For someone who's really her worst critic, I do enjoy talking about my process and whatnot. I'm sorry in advance for all the rambling.

(If you want to ask me more, the questions are here ✨ )

🙅‍♀️ What is one trope you refuse to ever write?

I just don't see myself doing incest or bestiality. If we're talking more general things, I can't see myself writing cheating (with the asterisk of this being one member of the couple straying, and that there are possible situations where I wouldn't mind). Also, anything extremely violent, mostly because it's not something I often consume in media.

🤔 What’s one genre you’ve never written that you’d like to try?

Oh, maybe action and/or suspense? My writing style (intimate moments, conversations, just vibes) is not the most compatible, but if the situation arose... Sure! (I guess that, in a past life, I wrote around mysteries and crime and whatnot. I was too young then 😬 )

I also would love to be better at writing stories-within-stories. I absolutely do not have the talent to convincingly seem like the talented writers I'm doing. (Once again thinking of the fluffy memoir fic. And another one, which has a super fun premise, but my writing is failing it with this aspect, I fear.)

And not a genre specifically but collaboration? Again, I have super talented friends. I'd stick out like a sore thumb. I think it'd be fun!

🏅 What is the fic you’re most proud of?

I am my own worst critic but I would still probably say all of them, maybe? I saw something in them that I thought might connect with others and that's why they're out there. Even the ones that aren't (so many of them) and might never see the light of day. Writing isn't easy. It makes me nervous and makes me crave validation.

Anyway. The pageant answer is still true but as for actual ones, but using the way I would mentally refer to them, lol.

Big Block of Cheese 2008. I just saw it's at almost 100 kudos... excuse me what. I just felt it was something special from the moment I wrote it. I think I always would've posted it at some point, even if I hadn't made friends. None of my fics come close to it in terms of "love" and tbh, I'm fine with it.

St. Augustine. Just because it came to me so fast (I think it was mostly written in a morning?) and IDK, I love the scene. This one has broken out from most of my other purely CJD stories, whether it was timing or it getting recommended by the right people. It was nerve wracking writing something pre-canon but I think it went well! It was fun to write. I haven't read it in forever so I reserve the right to remove it from the list.

Obviously, star shine started it all but if I had a third spot... Portland. It's probably one of my flops (everything is, but this one especially) and yet. I recall being so proud right after I finished it and wanting people to read it. (It obviously grew since then because I can't shut up.) It's long, maybe unnecessarily so, but god does it get to me. I was in a writing rut (see next answer) and challenged myself to write 'canon' stories, and I think the two are good.

But... To be honest, the answer has to be my unposted multichapter. I always think it's bad until I read it, and it kinda hits, all imperfections aside. 150k words in 5-and-a-bit months (26/3 to 2/9?), 33 chapters. I wrote 2/3 of that in two months (with 19 being the last one I wrote before 19/5), until my muse decided she was done and I decided to actually change jobs. (I also wrote now-published fics like haunted by the notion or don't want you to go, as well as a bunch of other smaller ones, in between! WTF was I on in 2021? I think the mini reunion altered my brain chemistry.) I've considered just dropping a link to the unedited, unbetaed drive on the server one day, ngl.

ANYWAY. Too long-winded!

☀️ Has anyone ever left you a comment that made your day? What did it say?

UM. All of them? real talk here, I don't get many comments so I love them all. I write for a show that ended 17 years ago, for a small (and surprisingly divisive) ship (their loss - there's so much talent) so I should've known going in. It took me some time to internalize it. I'm also not that good a writer, so I'll take it. Comments mean the world to me, even if it's a "lovely" or "great job." Just taking a few seconds means a lot and writers aren't kidding when they say it's motivating. It's also how I've made friends in the fandom so yeah! comments!

To highlight some rather recent ones!

Haunted by the notion got so many from so different people, and they were all so incredibly nice when I was terrified. All of those broke me, and might be the reason why I've been struggling with a followup! (And why I've been wanting to post again soon, rather than wait.) From the other stories, I have two ~recent ones~ I actually bookmarked because they broke me.

miabicicletta's (💕 ) on St. Augustine. I woke up on a Saturday and I remember reading it from bed and crying. It was so incredibly kind and lovely and I couldn't remember the last time anyone had written anything as long. I still think about it all the time. 🥂 (I've now realized Steph also wrote another lovely one ♥️ That story and the love it got, man.)

krazykitkat's on all's well + her comment on St. Augustine because her stories are some of my favorites. I couldn't believe that someone whose work I adored and have read countless times since I finished the show six years ago had read one of my stories, but had liked it???? Didn't compute. Doesn't compute. She's read many since (see St. Augustine, the most recent one), commented and left kudos on a bunch, and it still... blows my mind. (This one happened while I was flying back from Stockholm and was the first thing I saw when I landed.)

But really - so many people have left so many kind messages over the last couple of years, and I've probably gotten emotional at all of them. That there are people out there who are reading the silly little stories that have come out of my brain... wonders never cease.

[seancebel0w]

cringetober 2023 - day 12: niche interest

you might not be able to guess just by this drawing alone, but i am very interested in medicine, specifically infectious diseases, and more specifically, prion diseases! i have found them equally fascinating and terrifying ever since i learned about them.

some infodumping about prions (and the prompt list) under the cut!

rambling ahead!

prion diseases are quite unique when compared to most other infectious diseases, which usually are caused by bacteria and viruses. prion diseases are instead caused by proteins that get “misfolded,” which then leads to a cycle of the initial misfolded protein creating more misfolded proteins. for now, we don’t know how or why proteins can become misfolded and cause diseases because, unlike viruses and bacteria, protein doesn’t contain dna or rna.

there are many different kinds of prion diseases; some occur in humans, and others in different animals. they tend to cause neurological symptoms (dementia, uneven walk, etc) since prion proteins are mostly found in the nervous system. they are all 100% fatal and have no cure, treatment, or vaccine yet, BUT they are very very VERY rare. probably the most well-known prion disease is “mad cow disease,” aka BSE, or bovine spongiform encephalopathy. this can then cause variant-CJD (which we also call mad cow disease. totally not confusing at all) in humans when we eat infected beef, which is why there was a huge vCJD outbreak in the UK in the 90’s.

other prion diseases include fatal familial insomnia, kuru, scrapie, and chronic wasting disease, which is what i demonstrated in this drawing! obviously it’s exaggerated lmao though many ppl do call it zombie deer disease so. zombie deer girl. CWD is a prion disease that only occurs in many species of deer, moose, and elk. symptoms of CWD include unsteady movement, lowered head, emaciation, drooling, grinding teeth. deer in the wild tend to die from CWD during the early stages of the disease, so they can look perfectly healthy most of the time. in certain areas where CWD is common, deer hunters can submit the deer they hunt for testing and disposal to prevent further infection.

if u read thru all that. i love you for real

[ian-the-existential-crisis]

How weird would it be if the disease I originally researched for my fic was actually what Evelyn has? How crazy would it be?

[imaginebeatles]

as if I wasn’t busy enough... I made a side blog for my good omens obsession and all sorts of other stuff I don’t usually post on here. Go have a look if you’re interested :) 

[gillianaunofficial]

I’m an idiot my night x files rambling about rabies/cjd was wrong I apologise

[chut-je-dors]

Hiya :) Hope you’re well and things are good. I just wanted to drop by and (very cheekily) ask if you have any news on what’s happening with Ten Minutes? Will there be a new chapter at some point, or is it officially abandoned? I absolutely love the fic, it lives rent free in my brain and have just re-read it for the hundredth time. Lots of love xx

hi!! thanks for dropping in, I'm doing very good rn! very very busy with work, still getting my bearings since it's a new job and summer is a busy time, but it's going well and I'm looking forward to some free time in July. also this FRIDAY I'm getting a PUPPY, so yeah, THINGS HAPPENING!! really happy in my new home and stuff.

also the fic is not abandoned! we're both getting our bearings back, me and Puck, and it's a slow process after so much stuff that we've gone through... but I've been getting back to writing through rdr2 fics (which some people might have noticed is a bit of a Thing for me now hsdffgshs) and it's really good to do something... fresh. I've been writing beatles fics for so long that I feel I've become blind to my skills as a writer and especially during the last few years I've suffered from such creative blocks with ton of insecurity that I haven't felt good writing anything. now I'm writing a lengthy praise kink rdr2-fic and man, it's doing me good 😂 somehow I'm able to see my skill as a writer when working on this fic, and it's giving me confidence and I think it's gonna help me get back to my beatles fics with a fresh mind and less insecurity about my text.

but yeah, currently our biggest issue is just, a lack of shared time. since we write ten minutes together, we need to have time and energy for a call and a good mood to write, all at the same time for both, and we haven't really had that chance for aaaages. I'm really hoping to get that chance soon cos I miss writing with Puck and I know she misses writing as well. we know we'll get back to the fic eventually, I'm just not yet sure when that'll be :/

hoping it's during this summer tho!

thanks so much for the ask! ❤️

[chut-je-dors]

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[chut-je-dors]

Puppy update pls!!!!

Puppy is a menace and grows too fast! He's getting enormous compared to his sisters 😂 (which is a good thing cos bigger size = healthier back) He's very highly food-motivated and isn't scared of anything aside from water, which is yucky. If I take a shower he starts screaming, maybe he thinks it's raining inside and it's his biggest fear? He's growing in every direction except from the snout which is like the only job he really has, but he's still a baby and he grows different parts at different times so there's no need to worry for now.

Honestly though he's starting to be so much fun! The first weeks were really rough for me since he didn't know anything about anything, including his name, but now he knows a bunch of words that help the everyday life, where the most important is "go to sleep" 😂 it's a life-saver. It's fun playing and doing stuff with him and he's amazing to travel with, doesn't put up a hassle at all there. All in all looks like he's gonna grow into a good dog, someday...

here he is a week ago, waiting for food

here are the boys working on a stick at the cottage, very professional work, good collaborating

here he is after getting bowled over by Taatu and his friend on a field, and also mid-vid screenshot of him attempting to kill Taatu (no success, Taatu has the upper hand in this relationship)

Taatu has been the greatest here, he's fully accepted Kiivi into his space and they share toys and Taatu's bed with no problems. Taatu is so gentle and patient and careful when playing with Kiivi, there haven't been any issues and I can fully trust Taatu to keep the situation from escalating. Kiivi is a rough player with no limitations so it's good to have a mature, bigger dog to keep him in line gently but firmly.

All in all, keeps me busy but I'm very happy with this and as Kiivi grows, it's only gonna get better! ❤️

[chut-je-dors]

Ten Minutes is on hiatus guys, it's already been for a while but just so you know, we're still unable to get back to writing it yet! Working towards it tho <3

FIC UPDATES

To anyone wondering whether my fic has been abandoned or not, THEY’RE NOT!!! I WILL finish all of them even if it took me 30 years. I’m currently VERY BUSY, and also RDR2 has swallowed me whole for the time being and I need to get a couple of Charthur fics out of my system before getting back to these… 😅🙈

WRITING ― Text is still missing

EDITING ― Body text is complete; rewriting, revising, adding to the text/deleting some, fixing grammar mistakes, etc.

WIP STATUS: (none abandoned, some on hiatus!!)

5 Thomas Lane ― chp. 20 (writing not started yet)

Ten Minutes (/ @imaginebeatles​) ― chp. 22 (writing - on hiatus)

The Hot Spot ― chp. 5 (writing)

Guidelines ― chp. 6 (writing/editing) (basically I have three different versions of the chapter and I’m probably going for a fourth ‘cos the other versions still don’t feel good)

POST UPDATED: 10. July. 2023

[chut-je-dors]

that feeling when after a few years of taking a certain amount of ADHD medicine you gotta add to it a little to keep it effective and when it hits it's like taking it for the first time ever all over again.

[chut-je-dors]

the power of comments in your fics is honestly not to be underestimated at all; I just got three new comments on a chapter and got so much motivation out of that that I actually wrote a 1k worth of smut under one hour. even more impressive when you consider that I've had a smut-writing block for about TWO YEARS. so yeah, leave those comments people! 🥺❤️

[chut-je-dors]

local woman is shook upon finding out quite a few people really do like their writing

[chut-je-dors]

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[chut-je-dors]

sometimes I remember I'm supposed to be a beatles blog of sorts

[chut-je-dors]

25 here I come