#cishet privilege

[shelfperson]

gabriel is horrible stinky etc but i do support gay wrongs. i do support gay wrongs.

[obsidian-flame]

you know i think in all this social talk about privilege we forgot that the most fundamental privilege white cishet able bodied allistic people have over the rest of us, no matter what flavor of marginalized, is that they're allowed to be human in all the ugly ways none of the rest of us are, they're allowed to have their lives fall apart, and commit crimes, and be rowdy, and act out, and blow up in positive and negative ways without it ever affecting their social group as a whole in any significant way

meanwhile any single one marginalized person carries not only the weight of their own life on their shoulders, but also the lives of thousands or millions of others marginalized in the same way, knowing that, if god forbid, they were to exist as a human in the same way, if they hit a low point, if they break a law, if they fail at achieving success in anything, if they're too loud, or too needy, or too rowdy, the consequences aren't just theirs to bear, they're passed onto every single one of that person's brothers and sisters worldwide as well

a muslim can't shoot someone without all muslims being terrorists

a gay person can't contract an STD without all gays being disease ridden

a woman can't lash out without all women being hysterical/hormonal

a disabled person can't complain about poor/non-existent accommodations without all disabled people being entitled welfare queens

a trans person can't detransition without all trans people being deluded about who they are

a black person can't shoplift a candy bar without all black people being criminals in gangs

a homeless person can't spend money on non-essentials without all homeless people being liars and thieves

a chronically ill person can't abuse pain medications without all chronically ill people being addicts

a fat person can't overeat without all fat people being gluttonous pigs

an autistic person can't melt down without all autistic people being obnoxious and annoying

an immigrant can't have their documents expire without all immigrants being illegals

an ace person can't enjoy kink without all ace people being confused

a jewish person can't be an authority figure without all jews being evil, shady world overlords

a bisexual person can't sleep around without all bisexuals being cheating promiscuous whores

i could go on and on and on

a marginalized person's life is never just our own, and what happens to us is never contained to just us, it has widespread consequences for the millions of others in our group

each one of us is socially held responsible to be perfect, live perfect, feel perfect, look perfect, etc etc lest we make our entire marginalized class "look bad" and thus deepening problems for everyone else

this, above all else, is in my opinion the fundamental, most crucial privilege that non-marginalized hold over everyone else

the privilege to just exist as you are, as a flawed, imperfect person that can do ugly things, that can experiences life's lowest lows and highest highs without scrutiny blowing back on everyone remotely similar to you

[ventbloglite]

Calling or implying that a trans man is an oppressor for his gender isn't any better than calling or implying that a trans woman is an oppressor for her birth sex, by the way.

[punkisntdeadandneitherami]

Omfg just noticed

i just noticed the lgbt tags are corourful wtf i love that sm

[tristinian]

Tbh I think people should just become complete jokes in discourse if they use “afab privilege”. Like you haven’t even learnt basic ass cis-centric white nonintersectional feminism 101: afab people don’t have privilege for being afab. In fact they get oppressed for it

[newtscamandersbf]

im gonna be honest i hate when people use 'which could mean nothing' for a straight couple … like no !!! dont yall already have enough !!! this is for the queers and the queers only the only exception i will make is percabeth !!!

[redheadbigshoes]

Oh yes of course, definitely more privileged than white cis gay MEN

[katyspersonal]

I think we should remember that compassion and acknowledgement are not a limited resource! Like, it is a common sentiment, but we need to remember harder

No, black/trans/gay people do not suddenly gather systemic power over white/cis/straight people if they somehow harm them. Even if some of them do so regularly, even if some of them form groups to harm them. Same goes for women @ men generally. And the fact that in online spaces being accused of bigotry is basically a social death sentence doesn't really change the state of the world in general. In the offline world, most people don't take bigotry seriously at all! Besides, after enough cancelation scandals, online world also developed a lot of skepticism, so we got back to square one in a way (just with more memories to back it up).

At the same time, no, it is NOT okay to harm a white/cis/straight person, based on the fact that their systemic privilege over the culprit somehow exempts them from deserving basic human decency. We as people are not only our demographics, but we are also individuals! And anyone who sees someone as "acceptable" target because they are systemically privileged should be told off because this is not okay either.

Systemic oppression and individual abuse are both bad, and I feel like it is because people focus on JUST one or the other why it's so hard to see things more clearly. On the one hand, focusing on society in general, and systemic oppression, leads to seeing men @ white/cis/straight person as an automatic enemy, just a cog in machine, therefore "acceptable" target only deserving of mockery if they dare to address what kind of problems they faced. On the other hand, focusing on individual aspect might lead to the noob trap of thinking that by now pendulum did swing into other direction and systemically privileged people are "real victims" now and feel systemically (!) hunted by them gays yourself when like.. at large, the state of society barely changed. What is happening is not that pendulum swings back and forth, and not even that "both sides equally bad" or whatever horseshoe thing, but something much harder to even spot, let alone articulate! What is happening is that erasure of individual from the equation OR ignoring the fact that demographics are an inherent thing for society both lead to even more abuse. Stronger abuse or less significant abuse in comparison? Systemic or individual? IRRELEVANT!!! JUST not abuse people!

The thing is, you need to switch between both perspectives based on the context and the situation. Like, we can both vocalize how unfair systemic oppression men have over women is and vocalize that male victims of female abusers are real and deserve help and being heard. Same for races and sexualities and other gender identities. You can resent ALL types of unfairness thinkable. It isn't a tug-o-war. You can care about both individual cases and systemic cases. You can wish better for EVERYONE. The possibilities are endless

[sonsband]

why's it so acceptable for fellow gay people to call me queer and then I have to soothe their feelings that I don't want to be called a slur by a stranger.

[hexxxcapades]

did people like. forget that intersectional oppression exists

[gay-otlc]

You can't copy and paste the same framework for sexuality that applies to cis people and try to apply it for trans people, it doesn't work like that

[pocket-size-cthulhu]

If people are determined to make it uncomfortable to be LGBTQ+ in public, I will make it uncomfortable for them that I'm LGBTQ+ in public. I will uncomfortably remind people who i am when I'm around. I'll wear too much pride gear for them ever to forget. I'll stand up in the middle of church and walk out when things get too queerphobic. I'll call out my coworkers. I'll correct my family members. I'll post on Facebook for my conservative family and friends and remind them who they're talking about when they talk about The Queers.

I've got the privilege of being relatively safe while I do this, so especially for that, I'll not forfeit our right to exist in public by putting a lid on my queerness just because there's a little more risk involved than there was before.

[ghilan-maim]

hey just a reminder that some of us transmascs are out here rawdogging it and being perceived by everyone as butch lesbians every day.

[hyruviandoctor]

I think it’s times like these that really make me appreciate art and turn to the characters that have always spoken to me. Spider-Man. Batman. All Might. Sonic and Shadow the Hedgehogs. Optimus Prime. Those who will give their all for a chance at a better world for everyone. Those who don’t back down despite the odds.

[sweet-milky-tea705]

Being gay might not be a choice but i wouldnt try to conform for a million dollars. Being "cis" sucked ass and the thought of living like im straight makes me want to gag. I have actually zero desire to be "normal" and its strange feeling like i should feel that way because its part of The Experience

[lesbianloveisreal]

It's really easy to tell queer people who are active, involved, or otherwise in the community culture (to the best of their ability) compared to one's that use "queer" as a fun little label.

Is their label still valid? Sure. I don't care. I honestly am over having to say "you're valid you're valid you're valid" to people because they are, and that's that. I'm not spending my entire night at the only place I can hug my gf in public to explain why someone more privileged than I am is valid. We can discuss other things about it.

But just because you are valid doesn't mean you aren't harmful to the community with your behavior and lack of understanding of our community and culture.

Etc. (As a nonbinary lesbian that is "straight passing" when im alone (I hate this term but whatever) )

If I'm saying or doing something that harms people in the community that are MORE OPPRESSED THAN I AM then I am actively harming our community.

If I go in and start harassing butches or trans people I am using my privileges to hurt our community.

If I start getting mad that butch women aren't talking and flirting with me when (at least in my local community) it is more often expected for femmes to make the first move, I am actively not using our queer cultural "rules" in that moment in my local community.

So, maybe if you notice your local queer community (especially people more oppressed than you) getting upset with you being there MAYBE it's not about your identity at all.

MAYBE if they kick you out, you are doing a disservice to your local community *after all nonqueers are usually allowed in those spaces too*

And please don't give me that "straight passing isn't a privilege" yes it is.

Can it still be annoying? Yes. But I know butch women that can't get jobs, get attacked while walking down the street, have had to leave places because someone threatened them, have gotten things thrown at them, had people scream at them at work, etc.