#ciri is a shit stirrer

[bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher]

this is a do as I do song

follow up fic to this is a repeat after me song

camp counselor Jaskier goes on his first date with Geralt, his favorite camper’s hot dad with a mysterious job and a lifted Jeep

---

“Dad,” Ciri says, scooping a forkful of mac-n-cheese into her mouth, “I fell out of the tree on purpose. Didn’t even hurt that bad.”

Geralt blinks and turns to face his daughter. “Excuse me, Squirrel?”

“You like Mr. Jaskier,” she points at him with her fork. He does that to her sometimes when they have dinner and he’s trying to impart fatherly wisdoms, but when she does it the motion seems somehow even more poignant and threatening, “And you wouldn’t have said anything. Mama says you’re a, hmmm, you’re a anxious wreck.”

Geralt will have words with Yen about that later, but for now he needs to get his daughter ready for bed. “Hmm.”

“You’re welcome,” she adds, smiling. Her teeth are still full of noodles and he frowns until she closes her lips again. 

“Better, cub. Let’s get finished up so you can take a bath before bed, alright?”

“Woohoo! Ducky time!”

---

“Good morning, Miss Cirilla!” Jaskier greets, swooping his favorite camper into his arms for a quick hug. “Any fun stories to tell me today?”

“I found a frog in our backyard last night while Roach was taking a shit!”

“Ciri,” he frowns. She covers her mouth with one hand, the other latched firmly onto her counselor’s. “What did I say about swears?”

“Not in front of the other kids. Also that they make me sound uncouth,” she giggles. The word sits heavy and strong in her mouth and she likes it; she loves when Mr. Jaskier teaches her new, big-people words. Like uncouth and detrimental and menacing. She likes Mr. Jaskier, and if her Dad likes him too, that makes it even better! Everyone that Dad likes is probably a good person.

“That’s right, and what are you?”

“A lady! An evil lady, though,” she adds seriously. 

“Evil Ciri today?”

“Mhm. Dad said I can’t have macaroni two nights in a row so I’m being Evil.”

“That’s very fair.”

“Can you make mac and cheese?” 

“Yes. I make it from scratch because I am not a fool,” Jaskier says, smiling down at his charge. She swings their joined hands and nods seriously.

“Alright. You can come over and make it next week, then. When it’s allowed again.”

“You’ll have to talk to your father about that first,” he bites his lip. “It might not be very appropriate for your camp counselor to make you dinner.”

“You should be my Dad’s boyfriend instead, then. He’d let you make dinner if you were his boyfriend.”

Jaskier dies a little on the inside and turns bright red. “Go play with the chalk for a minute, I need to check on our snack cooler.”

---

Jaskier sits down at the small café table and clutches his strawberry lemonade with terrified determination. Geralt takes the seat across from him and swipes a lock of white hair behind his ear. The deep, gravelly voice he’s been daydreaming about for the past week slips out from between Geralt’s lips and Jaskier nearly loses his mind again: “Sorry about Ciri.”

“There is absolutely nothing to apologize for,” the counselor chuckles. “She’s incredible. A real pain in my butt, for sure, but the sweetest kid I’ve had the opportunity to spend time with in years. If I had a child of my own, I’d want them to be just like her. She speaks her mind, she cares deeply for others, and she’s practically fearless if she thinks that someone is being mistreated; she stood up to a sixth grader last week.”

Geralt tries not to smile too widely right away. It’s nice to hear someone else gush about his child the same way he does and he agrees with everything Jaskier has said so far. Ciri is the best kind of menace. 

“She’s been telling me all about the words you teach her,” he grins. “I don’t know that she thinks of anyone else more highly than you.”

“I could say much the same. But we’re not here to discuss Ciri, are we, Mr. deRiv?”

“No. And it’s probably very weird to call me that when we’re on a date, Jaskier.”

“Fair... Geralt.”

The rest of the afternoon goes incredibly well. It turns out that they share a secret love of glam rock, a fascination with superhero movies, and a favorite color (green). 

Jaskier makes them mac and cheese from scratch the following week, but it’s okay, because he’s Geralt’s boyfriend.