#cicero I hope I get to fistfight you in hell for that fucking table you know what I am talking about❤️

[alexjcrowley]

I saw a TikTok of Cicero and Hortensius on the music of Non-Stop (I feel like just naming Hortensius is making this niche) as someone who hasn't really thought about Hamilton in...5 years now and I have realized many thing:

1) THAT USER WAS SO RIGHT, IT IS THEM

2) Cicero's existence answers the question: what if Alexander Hamilton was a looser? (yeah historically he comes before Hamilton but I don't care right now).

3) Mark Anthony is Jefferson.

Evidence:

"Where have you been?" "Mhhhh Par Egypt" "We have to win (against this kid Ottavianus)" "SO WHAT'D I MISS"

Come on Egypt (and Cleopatra) are his France

But he is the one who dressed like fake royalty (COME ON THE PHILIPPICAE, THE CABINET'S BATTLES ARE JUST THE PHILIPPICAE)

4) I don't care for the Greek God musical, give me a musical about Ancient Rome. Come on, it is just as controversial as a musical on founding fathers. And I do want to hear Cicero rapping the Catilinarian orations.

5) ALSO COME ON CATILINE OWNS THE ROOM WHERE IT HAPPENS.

Bro staged a COUP D'ÉTAT to be in THE ROOM WHERE IT HAPPENS.

5) Also do you know we could have "Dear Theodosia" and "It's quiet Uptown"? Cicero's daughter, Tullia, affectionately called Tulliola, died on him when she was still young. I could talk a lot about this and how for her death Cicero created a new word in latin (taken from greek, actually: apotheosis) but if I start now I'll be very emotional.

6) "The Caesar Administration"

7) I would pay real money to see Cicero being beaten repeatedly by every historical figure in Rome

8) Atticus is his John Laurens's but like waaaay more annoyed by Cicero. He is also very "Why do you write like you're running out of time". Cicero used to write Atticus 2 times a week and an ungodly amount of pages, I want Atticus's song on "maybe I chose a bad friend".

9) Atticus coward villain song in which he gives his and Cicero's personal letters to Mark Anthony because I am not over that yet. It could be a but like Burn, you know. We're still talking letters. But Atticus is the little shit here.

10) The whole first number with people talking about Hamilton, but there are actual quotations on Cicero by fellow romans and later historians.

11) "Bright young man. Yo, who the eff is this?" will always be more Cicero-coded than any other historical figure. AT 26 CICERO CHALLENGED BASICALLY THE GOVERNMENT TO DEFEND A KID WHO WAS BEING ACCUSED OF KILLING HIS OWN FATHER BY THE PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY KILLED HIS DAD SO THEY COULD TAKE HIS RICHES (I am oversimplifying a bit but what I said is essentially correct, reference is the Pro Roscio Amerino). And it was Cicero's first criminal law case. Fresh new kid from the block exposes dictatorship crimes. Nice.

12) Once again, I would pay actual money to see a song about Cicero writing the Pro Milone saying this is going to be his masterpiece and then being unable to recite it because the crowd is threatening to kill him. Just imagine Cicero with a song or without a song maybe reciting a few sentences on his own, a choir going something like "This is gonna the best oration ever" or "This is gonna be a masterpiece", "This is gonna go down in history as the best oration ever seen", you get the gist. And then he is in the square (well, the forum) and he is about about to start talking but you hear threats getting louder and louder, and a crowd with weapons, making noise with their feet (and swords!) and then Cicero just can't utter another word because he is too scared they'll kill him. His perfect oration, going to waste, not able to save his friend. Yeah I haven't got over this one either.

13) Cicero singing a song on how Augustus is going to save them. AH.

14) I think Cicero's Reynolds Pamphlet would be, you know, sentencing people to death without the provocatio ad populum (after Catiline's failed coup d'etat)

15) I already said that but Catiline villain song.

16) Funky neoteroi song. Can you imagine. Catullus and friends just following around Cicero to annoy him while he insults them.

17) Obligatory song on how Rome is changing and Republic is dead.

18) Is it a major event? No. But I would love to hear a take on what Caesar said to Cicero when they were walking all on their own after Caesar won on Pompeius. After Caesar won against Pompeius people were all expecting him in the Brindisi harbour and Cicero was dying inside because he had taken the wrong side. Again. So Caesar gets off the ship, Cicero thinks he is dead, but Caesar pardons him in front of everybody and then take him for a private walk, just them two. And sometimes instead of sleeping I think of what Caesar might have said to him.

19) I'd also need a general chorus to comment on how many bad decisions Cicero is taking.

20) song on Cicero trying to remain back his good reputation as he feels everything that he has ever known about Rome is changing and that's not his or Republican time anymore

21) angst Cicero song about holing himself up in his villa, writing philosophical dialogue because the time of politics and freedom is over

22) BAM LAST SURPRISE SONG THEY KILL HIM AND HE SINGS THE LAST SONG THAT MUSICALLY REPRISES ONE OF THE FIRST SONGS (maybe the Pro Roscio Amerino one during which he was so young and hopeful) BUT HE SINGS IT WHILE HE IS ALREADY DEAD ON THE ROSTRA LIKE THAT'S HIS SPIRIT SINGING

23) And then you see Rome become and empire with Ottavianus villanously declaring the Republic is no more