#chuuya is homoromantic/demisexual

[captain----nemo----returns]

hi hello it's ✨chuuya headcanon time✨

*DRUMROLL PLEASE* (internalized) homophobia and (a lesser, internalized) acephobia warning *MORE DRUMROLL*

the man is EXTREMELY homophobic towards his own self. (or at least he was while teen but now he at least tolerates himself)

it's a really hard topic for him, even though koyo was and is SUCH a good mother figure for him and was extremely caring and accepting and educated him really well. I believe it's his rogue street-kid upbringing playing up, street laws dig into your mind really deep. not something you can weed out easily, even if you get picked up by someone early on in life

like. it's BAD. while teen and ESPECIALLY after dazai left the mafia (which I rewrote to be a few years later and longer 'cause extra angst yessss yummy) he tried to get with women bc he thought he ... could, let's say that. thing is, he Couldn't. absolutely. abysmally.

because he's homoromantic. and demisexual. and as monogamous as a jackdaw. the man is - totally - f_cked.

I don't think he really realizes he's demi, just thinks he's 100% gay. but then he tried to go with guys, and then it wouldn't work out, and then he'd feel even worse, and stopped trying anything at all. good for him, good for him, please rest my man

he probably thought he's just broken though :( something like "guess I'm gay but I can't even be gay properly! f_cking AMAZING! (/sarc)". blamed it all on a broken heart even though accepting falling for dazai must have been an ABYSMALLY tough pill to swallow. I don't really believe that though, he disliked himself too much, so it's more of "I'm broken" than "I'm heartbroken"

someday we will see him at 🏳‍🌈priiiide. someday we will. and it will be a bloody awesome day.

let me know if you wish to hear more of my sh_t haha! ✨✨✨ I have LOADS of stuff!