#chrisevansdaughter anxiety fuel talks

[chrisevansdaughter]

I think I’m having a moment of doubt, my brain thinks I can’t do this two week sleepover :( because I think it’s just going to be half arsed shit content :(

I feel like a dumb idiot and you all want content and I know that’s probably why my page is so down on engagement I feel like a stupid idiot

@f10werfae @haleybr @chrisevansonly @dumb-fawkin-bitch @alyswritings @sheetsonfire @thatsamericasass24 @velvetcloxds @writersblog20 @lilacevans @anotherfuckingmarvelfanaccount @babyhatesreality @haleyhunwritess @youre-amazing-say-it @worksby-d @haleyhunwritingss @haleyhunlibrary @nana1000night @angelbabydoll28 @angelbaby-fics @jessybarnes @reginaphalange2403 @buckybarnesandmarvel @positivelyholland @ace-of-gay @i-spaced-sorry @astrorogers @comfortcap @bucky-fricking-barnes @hulkstacos

[chrisevansdaughter]

Anyways credit goes to @anxietyproblem <3

This was me an hour ago…

[chrisevansdaughter]

Good evening my loves I’m back after the absolute amazing yet draining day that yesterday’s event was moral of the story is I had a breakdown over exhaustion and my mum saying i was just being really moody and I just needed some comfort, I have the same type of thing tomorrow but I’m gonna answer all of my asks and just find something game for you guys to interact with :)

How are you all guys <3

[chrisevansdaughter]

I’m just gonna go to sleep, being overwhelmed and having anxiety come out of no where is exhausting :/ so I’m sorry if I’m not getting any content out today or tonight, please do send in little funny things or just stuff like that just stuff in general like tips etc you find helpful to share :)

Love you all ❤️

[chrisevansdaughter]

And now to add to my really really good day sarcasm is implied my dad is at my house and he still hasn’t apologised properly, he’s acting like it never happened.

Anyways send in those paring questions :)

[chrisevansdaughter]

i am pissed, my body won’t let me sleep and I’ve tried for the last hour 🥲

but I get to see bean soon

Enjoy Christmas bean- nay knives out bean 🥹

[chrisevansdaughter]

I know I need to stop talking about this and ranting about this but not having a dad before I start one of the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. It hurts, he disowned me and it really hurts :(

[chrisevansdaughter]

I need some comfort fics rn I’m just a bit icky again :(

[chrisevansdaughter]

Me: thinking i should invest in a weighted blanket sometime whilst I’m away for comfort.

Mind: no the only pressure you’re getting is the pressure on your chest because ✨anxiety✨.

Me: I just want a really tight hug.

[chrisevansdaughter]

I’m going though all the emotions I swear…

Uhmmhmhmh rant incoming..

- dad disowns me a week before I leave

- my bestfriend started showing me her favourite photos of us

- I handed in my uniform for the youth group I’ve been apart of since I was ten

- i don’t want to leave my dog

- there are so many people on this training course to the point I’ve been asked to come at the earliest point of the time slot so I can get my uniform

- I’m scared

- did I mention I’m scared

- I’m coming home earlier then I thought for christmas but I’m leaving soon than I thought for phase 2

And I’m pretty sure I’m gonna have a panic attack too :(

[chrisevansdaughter]

Today hasn’t been it and I’m really not with it because I’m just tired and sad 🤌🏻❤️

[chrisevansdaughter]

Right here I am again 2:47 am again my time, awake and anxious.

Also i love my new profile picture. But anyways…

I’m scared and anxious for this event tomorrow it’s massive and I’m scared for December and what the future holds.. no maybe the next 7 months of my life because that’s the make or break of weather I actually want to do what I’m going to be trained to do and if I’m actually smart enough to. And I’m scared for my first time at sea because gawd I know it doesn’t make sense but I get so sea sick it’s funny.

But here is my emotional rant for the night more emotional waffle to follow 🪷

[chrisevansdaughter]

I feel everything right now and it’s too much :(

[chrisevansdaughter]

My brain thinks it’s socially acceptable to be watching family guy at 02:13 in the morning because I’m anxious because I’m seeing people I haven’t see in like 6 years tomorrow and I’ve got a lolly in my mouth so I don’t bite my cheeks 🥲

[chrisevansdaughter]

Swear I have the worst time with my immune system, not even 2 days home and I’ve got what feels like a borderline chest infection with a flare up of my costochondritis :( this is giving me so much ANXIETY.

And my body is tricking me because I’m really cold but I know I’m warm because of the fever and I’ve also got a weird grouping of rashes on my thigh and my chest just feels like it’s being crushed.

So Merry Christmas guys if you celebrate, I hope you had a good day! ❤️

And special shout-out to @haleybr and @thatsamericasass24 for being so sweet today and just always 🥹❤️

[chrisevansdaughter]

My brain and the definite slight adhd aren’t thriving I feel emotional and like shit and anxious 🥲