#chris beck x person of color

[peacefulwriter88]

Eurydice & Orpheus

Chris Beck X OC WoC Adria Devereaux

Warnings: SMUT and angsty af, cheating

A/N: I don’t know, @geminimoonbeamx got me all fucked up thinking about Chris Beck and this particular prompt (like all inspo credit goes to her lol) and I’ve been wanting to write an OC for a while so this is me doing it! Enjoy lol

His scent is intoxicating. It takes over the space of her small apartment, permeates more than the sheets that she had washed two times to ensure the scent would go away. Instead it wafts in the air, sticks to her skin, clings to her mind and she has to open a window to get it to go away.

She allows herself to stand there, looking out of the window. Into the busy streets of Boston, watching mindlessly as people with different agendas, careers, families walk by and she wonders if she can join them, to escape the situation she’s allowed herself in.

Not again.

It’s what her heart echoes out, yells at her with a steady beat, a song trying to break her of his spell. And she almost listens, almost doesn’t cav.

But then his voice is closer.

“Spent about five days down in Florida with this new crew that is destined to fly out. Trying to give them best practices for hypotheticals that won’t happen because we’ve already lived the worst case scenario and you know all I could think of? Between all that math and young excitement? How much I’ve missed you.”

It hurts, those words as she turns and lean against the window, still dangerously away from him. He hasn’t moved, he’s still sitting on the couch, those beautiful cerulean eyes trying to get a read on her as she gives a small smile.

“Sure you did. Because beyond Ethan and Beth, you thought of me.”

She doesn’t want to sound pained, or angry, or frustrated. She just wants to stop lying to herself, wants to stop the long nights that she’s lying in her bed, alone, wondering if he’s thinking of her. Knowing the truth.

He had a beautiful wife. A beautiful baby boy.

Why would he be thinking about her?

His eyes don’t shift, don’t betray what he’s thinking. That she can’t possibly know the relief she provides, his brilliant best friend, the astro-physicist that he’s known almost all his life, who was just as obsessed with the stars as he was. It was supposed to be her. She was supposed to be the one who gave him his child, who would live with him in the big house he owned on the opposite side of town, who was to be his wife.

But she wasn’t. Life intervened and by the time he had realized the consequences of those actions, he had to choose.

And he didn’t choose her.

She shifts, trying to cross her arms over her body. He had caught her fresh from a yoga class, waiting patiently outside of her apartment with his bag near him. Hadn’t told Beth he got in a day earlier, instead choosing to spend the evening with her. She hadn’t changed, not out of the tight capri leggings that had plastered themselves on every inch of her skin. Not the cute bralette that crossed over her cleavage, each breast pushing outside the crisscross design with each breath she took. The sun was starting to set, that six o’clock burnt orange brilliance streaking in, highlighting the way her gingerbread skin stood out in the light, the darkness of her black curly hair. It was especially hot and humid for Boston, even for August, and despite her AC the last faint droplets of sweat were falling down her neck, into that damn bralette he couldn’t take his eyes off of and he wanted to taste it, the mingle of her natural saltiness with the honey perfume that hit his nostrils every other breath he took.

Adria Deveraux was his beginning and his end and none of that mattered.

Because she wasn’t his.

“Don’t say that Adria,” he gets up and he notices the way she flinches away, pushing herself back. “I took an early flight home because I wanted to spend the evening with you. Don’t you miss us cooking dinner together and cuddling on the couch?”

She has to look away, close her eyes because how dare he. How fucking dare he. Of course she remembered. It was what she lingered on when the aching loneliness consumed her, when she denied friends blind dates or went to events solo along her partnered friends. Waiting for Chris Beck.

Always waiting.

“Chris…I think we should stop.”

She doesn’t open her eyes, instead keeps them barreled tight, fighting the overwhelming feeling of sadness and fear. She doesn’t want to say the words, wants to hold on to him for just a little longer, wants to be selfish and live in this moment. But it’s not enough, not anymore.

“I’m….I’m sorry of the snapshots of what we used to be. You’ve moved on and…..I should too. I shouldn’t….we shouldn’t be doing this. It’s wrong.”

She doesn’t open her eyes but allows the tears to take over, to spill down her cheeks and he breaks inside. Can feel his soul ripple with pain, to watch his sweet girl, his best friend in pain because of him. She was right. He was being selfish. He didn’t want to rock the boat with Beth and wanted to keep up the image of being a good father to Ethan while also fucking and loving the woman he’s lusted after for more than ten years. He should leave, he should accept what she says and leave and don’t look back.

But too many nights he’s laid in bed, Beth snoozing by his side while he looked out at the stars, thinking of her. Thinking of how much he wished she was by his side instead of the woman he called wife.

And she was crying and he could never handle her tears.

So he does the worse thing he could do and walks to her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her to him tightly. She breaks down in sobs, trying to push away. Cursing him under her breath, calling him a selfish piece of shit and she was a selfish piece of shit and was trash and all of these things that weren’t true. Couldn’t be true because she was pure, she was like the space particles after a shooting star, glimmering in his heart, stained in his mind even seconds after they disappeared. And he was the dying star, dragging her down with him in pain because he couldn’t let go.

“You are Venus,” he whispers, “Your cozy, winter mornings and bright summer days. You’re a star shower in space or the northern lights on earth. You are worthy of love and I am tainting you of it.”

He knows it – that he’s the problem and she looks away, lashes matted with mascara and her thick tears as she sniffles the snot that’s trailed down her nose. To anyone else she would be a mess but to him she was just beautiful – loved when she was vulnerable like this – and he drinks in the image because he doesn’t know how long he’ll be able to relish it. She’s so mad at him but her hands have stopped pushing him away, fighting him because he always knew the right words.

“You’re a selfish asshole Chris Beck. You know that?”

Her words are broken and torn and he nods as he leans down to kiss her. Then nothing matters. His hands are hot on her skin, like a comet violently rushing through the earth’s atmosphere as his mouth tangles with hers, teeth clanging as his hands find her ass. She was so fucking beautiful, so fucking perfect and he wanted her forever.

But she wasn’t his.

She wants to stop this, wants this to end because she told herself no more, not after the last time. But he came to see her straight off the plane and maybe, just maybe, he was being honest in his words. She wants to believe, even for fifteen minutes as her hands find his curly hair, raking her hands through the short curly strands as he groans into her mouth, pulling her as he moved clumsily throughout her apartment.

He doesn’t make it far – her Beck – barely hits the couch with the back of his legs as he falls backwards and they both laugh as she stumbles on top of him, letting gravity take its course. This was how they met oh so long ago, at a college party that was way out of their league for the young witty pair. He had been looking down trying to memorize some equation for a quiz, two beers in his hands because why not, and she was too busy taking in the fucking glass ceiling and wondering how the fuck her black ass had made it into a party where you could see the stars when they bumped into each other. Beck fell back onto the pristine white coach with the cheap Keystone beer flying and Adria wasn’t far behind. It had been clumsy their landing, like they were now fifteen years later as adults, but he had looked into her big doe cinnamon eyes and knew that he was hers. Beauty wasn’t in the form of a planet – no – it was on earth and looking at him with the brightest smile.

The memory hits both of them at the same time, unbeknownst to the other, and for a second they stop tugging on the thin material of their clothing and just look at each other. Drink in the laugh lines and small strands of grey starting to emerge at their roots and ingest that fifteen years is a long time to be going through this. Adria thinks that this is the curse of all black woman – never good enough to be the wife of a prominent white men but good enough to fuck, only behind closed doors and Chris thinks that he’s too cowardly for someone as strong as her – too weak and afraid to tell Beth the truth and allow Adria be the woman he’s always wanted her to be.  

But they never say it.

Not what’s in their hearts – no – instead she leans down and kisses him. If part of the curse was to accept this fate, that she was only going to be a token and nothing more, then she was going to take what she could in this moment. He accepts it, accepts the languid way her tongue moves into his mouth, allowing her to be dominant as he his hands find her ass and pulls her closer to him, scooting the both of them so they can lay down comfortably on the couch. Her kisses taste like salted caramel – sugary sweet but littered with tears of disappointment and his hands move to her breast, kneading the supple tissue as she pulls away and moans. She was always so sensitive, such an expressive lover and he takes in the way her mouth pops into an “O”, the way she her eyes clasp close as she ruts her hips into his.

Venus was the brightest star that shone upon the ancient, the easiest to identify by the naked eye and the one who bought love and fertility. He wonders if she understood this was why it was what he lovingly called her, that Beth got nothing more than ‘honey’ because she was dull in contrast to her. She stood out always, conceived his thoughts even when he thought he rid himself of her – his Adria. The name that really meant darkness, which seemed like a joke because she provided light in his moments of darkness, the sun in which his shadow danced in.

He mentions this, later on, in a note when it doesn’t matter anymore.

For now, though, he allows himself to get lost in the way she sits up, throwing her bralette over her head as he sits up, pulling her closer to him as he suckles on her nipple. She throws her arms around him, drawing him closer as her moans fill the space, and his erection is biting into the thin material of her leggings, causing her hips to buck involuntarily. She would allow for foreplay later, when she could move past the disappointment and live in the happiness of his smile, the comfort of his voice. Right now, she needed to fuck him, to feel as dirty as her soul and she pulls away, yanking at his belt.

He purrs, deep and low and it makes her whine as her fingers brush against his erection and he’s quick to help her, to shimmy out of his pants and boxers with one swift move as she moves her pants down. Her scent was pungent, sweet and all he wanted in the moment was to get his mouth on her lips, to suck her sweetly until she had no more to give. But she’s impatient, always had been as she positions herself on top of him. He inserts himself into her, not slowly but swift and she yelps, pulling at his hair as she settles on top of him as she looks down at him. She’s still crying, tears falling down her face but there’s something else glimmering in her eyes and he knows it. Has said it too many times casually, in the context of their friendship, but too afraid to say it in person, as vulnerable as they both were now.

“I love you.”

She deserves to hear it, wants her to know that he does, that he’s so fucking afraid to be anything more but he fucking loves her before he’s pulling her on top of him and slamming her back down. She feels like a maelstrom that every part of her is getting pulled into him – Christopher Beck – that she has no control over her emotions but the senseless knowledge that has always lived within the both of them.

He loves her. Probably as long as she had loved him.

And it was too fucking late.

It’s rough, the way he pumps his hips into her, causing her to fall off the couch at one point and even though they laugh, take in the way she’s fallen between her couch and the coffee table he is quick to push the heavy wood aside so he can fill himself in her again. She wants it, wants him to fuck her raw as her nails rake down his back, her hips lifting to meet his as she looks at him. His eyes are a stormy, dangerous color, dark like denim as he tells her again and again that he loves her.

That he’s a coward.

That he has only loved her.

And he’s a fucking coward.

It resonates in her like a chord striking in a piano, reverberates in her soul as he cries and tells him she loves him too but it’s too late. When she comes, it’s loud and musical and fills his ears with his name and he fucks her harder, his dick relishing the way her walls flutter and squeeze him tight, until it’s pumping his seed into her, filling her. He see stars – not in the form of Orion or Aquila or Ursa Major. No, he sees only his Adria – the way her bright smile fills up a space or the key of her laughter or the softness of her voice. He sees the future of what he wants of them together, the world he’s too afraid to push until he’s left with darkness, nothing more than a faint memory.

She’s under him, silent because he’s never been honest with her, not like this. Beck was a dirty talker but not an intimate talker, not sweet words while he fucked her. He saved those intimate moments for beforehand, and even then he had never said that he had loved her.

If it wasn’t for the way he looked at her, those words would mean nothing. But she had never seen him look at anyone the way he had just looked at her. Not Beth or any of his ex’s.

He loved her.

The tears find themselves in the cave of her tear ducts as she looks away, shaking her head and whispering,

“What the fuck are we doing Beck?”

And he doesn’t answer because he doesn’t know anymore.

Tag List: @Sad-af1121, @whichwayisthebeach-Sebass, @theplumbclub79, @4theluvofall, @tatathekissypatato, @baezen​, @lostinthoughtsandfeelings-blog​, @plumbfondler, @pegasusdragontiger​, @prettybubblesintheair​, @docharleythegeekqueen, @brieannakeogh​, @palaiasaurus64​, @emotchalla​, @thejenniferincident​, @shayla-markele​, @supernovasandcoronas​,  @toastmaster94​, @brandybucky​, @papi-chulo-seb​, @jaamesbbarnes​, @paulxrudd, @badassbaker​, @letsalltakeanap​ @papi-chulo-bucky​, @moonbeambucky​, @jaceyfade​, @samingtonwilson​, @violentlybarnes, @wehaveathor, @buckfics​, @frostbitebakery​,  @killmongerdreams​, @plussizeappreciationfics​, @softlybarnes​, @prettyyoungtragedy​, @angryschnauzer​,  @221bshrlocked​,  @yslbucky​ @zohoffman @ssweet-empowerment@capsofwinchesters@tacohead13@harleycativy@pietrotheavenger@francezka10@papichulosebastian@obsessionsofmynerdheart@melaninmarvel@avengedqueen26@nasteaxluvgal@winterbuttmunch@nys30@buckyslongasshair@ohlumi@wellthirsted  

[maxburnett]

You're a Sky Full of Stars, Chris Beck AU

- (fem!reader x Chris Beck)

Summary: You're a resident studying under Chief of Pediatrics Dr. Chris Beck. You're also a single mother trying to juggle raising a son with professional and personal life. But what happens when you hear the man you've fallen for say that he doesn't want to be a father?

Warnings: Includes Smut! 18+ Only Minors Do Not Interact! A smidge of Angst, Fluff, Mentions of Abuse (Never goes into details), Mentions of bad parenting, Mentions of an abandoned baby at a hospital, (I suck at summaries) Sorry for any typos I typed this on my phone. Requested by the amazing @buckyblues

Pink Words: Lyrics sung by Reader

Blue Words: Lyrics sung by Chris

Mix of both colors are Reader/Chris singing together

Divider divides each part so that everything doesn't run together.

Word Count: 6,206

It was another morning at Boston Medical Center, but it wasn't a regular morning; Dr. Y/N Y/L/N was running very late for a meeting, and you never ran late for anything. Until today. You stood outside of the meeting room collecting yourself and jumped as you felt a hand touch your shoulder; you turned and smiled nervously up at the surgeon you worked under, the Chief of Pediatrics and Pediatric Surgery, Dr. Chris Beck.

You sat at the table, feeling Chris nudge your side as he slid a coffee in front of you, smiled at him, and whispered thanks before bringing the warm cup up to your lips and sighed as the warm liquid ran down your throat.

He looked at you, taking in how your was in the perfect bun. How you always tapped your fingers on the table as you were deep in thought. He thought it was cute. He wondered what you would feel if you knew he would sometimes sit and stare as you bit at the pen you used to write your surgical notes into your tablet. It wasn't really against the rules to date within the hospital as long as you went through the proper channels, but Chris had been married and went through a bitter divorce a year ago; maybe it wasn't the right time to make a move. Even if he often wanted to take you into his office or one of the on-call rooms and make you beg you to let you cum.

He looked at you, taking in how your was in the perfect bun. How you always tapped your fingers on the table as you were deep in thought. He thought it was cute. He wondered what you would feel if you knew he would sometimes sit and stare as you bit at the pen you used to write your surgical notes into your tablet. It wasn't really against the rules to date within the hospital as long as you went through the proper channels, but Chris had been married and went through a bitter divorce a year ago; maybe it wasn't the right time to make a move. Even if he often wanted to take you into his office or one of the on-call rooms and make you beg you to let you cum.

"Dr. Beck," the Chief of surgery said, and he turned his head to look up at him and nodded his head.

"Yes, Chief?" He asked, smiling up at the older man as he leaned onto a cane.

"Any updates on the baby that was abandoned last month?"

The baby in question, a little girl, was left outside. It had been Chris and Y/N who had heard the frail cry as they ventured out into the chilly February Weather. She was severely underdeveloped, and Chris, Y/N, and the Cardiothoracic surgeon had fixed significant damage to the little girl's heart.

"Olivia," Chris said with a smile. Y/N had decided that the little girl had needed a name. "Olivia is breathing on her own; right now, we are just trying to get her weight up before it's safe to release her to social services," he said and glanced at Y/N as you smiled at the mention of the little girl that you often sat beside and talked to between your rounds.

"All right," the Chief smiled and nodded and handed out the rounds for the days before everyone went their separate ways.

"So Y/N, how was that date the other night?" One of the nurses asked, wiggling her eyebrows as they sat at a table eating their lunch.

"He was good, but he wanted to date," Y/N sighed. You never dated because of your son.

"Yeah, you and your no dating rule. When are you ever going to find love?" She asked you, feeling sorry for you.

"Love is a weakness," you said, looking at the chart beside your food tray.

"I could seriously strangle you right now," she said, making you laugh. "In all seriousness, Y/N, you should find someone to have a relationship with."

Everyone at the table didn't know that you had your reservations about dating. Most men didn't want to date a woman with a four-year-old son, but that wasn't entirely why you didn't want to give your heart to someone else; you had been hurt in the past. Your past three relationships had been trainwrecks, one of the guys cheated on you, one of them used you for your money, and the first one hurt you in ways you didn't even want to think about anymore. You sighed inwardly and shook your head as the girls began to chit-chat quietly beside you.

"What about Chris," one of them said, finally speaking up, and you raise a brow.

"What? You think I should date my Chief?" You ask, nearly choking on the drink of the coffee you had just taken. "No way!"

"Come on; you can't tell me you've never thought about it?"

"No," you say rather quickly. "Absolutely not," you add. Can they see you biting the inside of your cheek?

"Come on! Y/N, he's cute ... he's single," one of the nurses says.

"Who's single?" A voice asks, walking up to the table and sitting down with a turkey sandwich and a bottle of water.

"Nobody," you quickly retort. "The girls are just trying to set me up with someone," you shrug your shoulders and look over at him. His bright blue eyes are staring at you as his lips curve up into a smirk.

"Come on, Y/N, you can't just go on being single forever," he says as he takes a bite of his sandwich. You smirk as you reach and steal a fry off of his plate and plop it into your mouth and look at him.

"I can be single for as long as I want to be," you say before getting up with your clipboard. "Plus, Chris," you say as you look down at him. "I could tell you the same," you said, looking down into the bright blue eyes of the handsome doctor that looked up at you. You turned your head, not to want him and the other nurses to know you were staring.

He had heard your words; maybe you were right? But why couldn't he see that it was you that he wanted to move on with? You were the best with children and babies; he sometimes smiled just watching you talk to the scared young patients that came into the hospital. You had a way to calm down not only the children but the parents. If he hadn't had his reservations, secrets, and personal issues, then maybe he would have asked you out sooner.

Chris had finished his rounds and had placed his chart and tablet back at the station. He had one more place to go and smiled as he headed to the NICU; nobody knew that he had always come here to talk to Olivia. He put some hand sanitizer on his gloved hand, reached into the incubator, and smiled as her tiny fingers wrapped around his.

"Hey there, angel, you're getting so much stronger, baby girl. Yes, you are," he said as he looked down at the tiny baby as she squeezed his index finger. He sat in a chair and smiled as he moved to check her heart with his stethoscope and smile as she winced a little at the cold feeling. "Sorry about that angel," he smiled and closed his eyes, hearing the little girl's heart beating strongly in his ears. He looked in at her and smiled as he studied her little face, her blue eyes looking up at him as she squeezed his finger again, her tiny mouth opening as she yawned.

"You know you're going to find a great family one day," he said, looking at her. "I didn't have a great family ... but my mom did what she could to make sure I turned out all right," he whispered as if Olivia could understand him.

He wondered if he would even be a good dad; after all, his dad treated him and his mom horribly; he closed his eyes and jumped a little as the door opened, and Y/N came in with your chart; Olivia was always your last round of the night. You'd never seen Chris in here, so you were a bit taken aback. You checked her vitals on the other side, not bothering him as you smiled as Olivia winced again at another cold stethoscope, and Chris chuckled lightly and placed the other gloved hand into the hole on his side to gently stroke the blue-eyed baby's hair.

"We promise we'll start warming them up, bug," he said, and Olivia turned her head, and he could've sworn she smiled up at him.

"You're so good with kids, Chris," Y/N said, putting your stethoscope around your neck and put your head sideways to study Chris. He looked tired, yet he was sitting here talking to a baby. "So, do you want kids, or do you have kids?"

"No ... I just don't think kids are for me," he shrugged. "That's why my wife and I got divorced; she wanted them, and I didn't. I've just got nieces and nephews," he said, looking up at you, and slowly, he pulled his hands out of the incubator.

You inwardly sighed, your teeth nipping at your lip at the answer to the question. You had a four-year-old son at home; how could you date a man who wasn't sure if he wanted children.

"I see," you say, smiling at him and writing down the results of everything you needed into the chart on your tablet. You turn to face the door.

"Hey, Y/N," Chris says, and you turn to look back at him.

"You know if you're not busy, uh," he runs a hand up the back of his head and stands up, walking to where you were. The two of you walk out of the NICU, and you face him as the automatic sliding doors close. He's rubbing his neck nervously, trying to find the words.

"What are you trying to ask Chris?" You smirk up at him.

"If you're not busy this Friday. We could go grab a few drinks at the bar across the street?"

"Wait, are you asking me out?" You ask, your eyebrows raising as you look at him.

"Yeah, I guess I'm saying that," he laughs and smiles at you.

"Sure ... I just need to take care of some things at home before I can get to the bar, but that sounds okay," you say, and you're biting the inside of your lip again. "I'll meet you there?"

"All right, what about 7:00?"

"Sounds good to me," you say and watch him walk down the hallway before you blink and pinch your arm to make sure this isn't some weird dream you're having. You shake your head and head to grab your bag, and you head out to your car and head home to let the babysitter who watched Oliver in the evening go home. You stand by his door, looking in at him sound asleep on the bed, holding his stuffed Dinosaur close to him. You head in and kiss his head and make sure he was tucked in before turning on his night light and heading to bed.

Chris had prepped for the date carefully. He hadn't been out on a date in years. He felt like it had been a different life, a different lifetime even. He had made a mental note that if the date went well, if they chose to venture forward with whatever the universe deemed this to be, that he would take you out on a proper date the next time: an early dinner, the museum, a walk through the park under the stars.

He had gotten to the bar around 6:30, looked down at his phone, he typed in your name to pull your contacts up. He bit his lip, his stomach getting small butterflies as he wondered what you would be wearing; what if you just stood him up. He shook his head and sighed as he began to type into his phone.

"Hey, I'm here. The table near the stage."

Chris looked up towards the Karaoke Bar and smiled as he sat his phone down. He ordered water just to have something to sip on as he studied the bar looking around at all the people, it seemed a little dead, but maybe that would be a good thing. His foot tapped the floor under the table nervously. He rubbed the back of his neck as he looked towards the door as it opened up, and the breath had caught in his throat.

You walked in, and he could've sworn his heart had jumped out of his chest. He watched as you walked towards the table. You had on strappy heels, a black polka dot skirt, and a black lacy shirt with a short leather jacket. Everything hugged you perfectly, and he had to lick his lips. He stood up and pulled the chair out for you, letting you sit down before he pulled the chair closer.

"You look... uh, you look amazing," he said and smiled as he looked at you. His face was turning red. You could even see it under the dull bar lighting.

"Oh My God! Chris, you're blushing," you say and smile at him.

"Hey, I haven't done this in quite some time. I'm a little rusty. Yeah?" He chuckled and smiled as he waved a waitress over and ordered some food and a couple of beers. The two of you sat talking about work, Olivia, and then the conversation of past relationships came up. Chris could sense that you were getting uncomfortable about something, so he smiled and placed a hand over yours and slid a little closer and placed a hand to your face, and gently ran his fingers down your cheek. You thought that maybe, just maybe, he was going to kiss you, but instead, he eyed the Karaoke bar, and a smirk appeared on his face. He smiled and stood up, offering his hand, and you reluctantly took it, not knowing what he had planned. He walked over towards the bar and pressed a few buttons before handing you one of the microphones; you were glad that they were the kind that you could put around your head with the microphone part in front of your mouth.

Something was comforting in the way he held your hand, his finger running around your thumb in the softest way. He looked at you, and your heart fluttered as the two of you waiting for the music to begin to play. You had to admit. You never had in your life felt like this for a man or anyone else for that matter.

"Now this song, I know you will know," he smirked close to your ear. "After all, you told me this was in one of your favorite movies," he winked, and you raised a brow and looked at him and smiled as the music for Time of My Life Began to play. You giggled into the microphone as he took both of your hands and pulled you closer and laughed as he began to sing.

Now I've had the time of my life

No, I never felt like this before

Yes, I swear it's the truth

And I owe it all to you

You smiled from ear to ear as you listened to him sing, he was horrible, but the way he looked at you and sung just to you made your insides turn to goo. You gripped his hands and giggled, the giggle filling the bar making the others smile and watch the two of you. You didn't know; some hospital nurses were there and were smiling from ear to ear.

Cause I've had the time of my life

And I owe it all to you

When the music kicked in, you giggled as he turned you around with his arm and began to dance with you. He was a better dancer than a singer, that was for sure. You giggle as the two of you danced together, moving closer and moving against him as the music continued to play before the vocals started back up.

I've been waiting for so long

Now I've finally found someone

To stand by me

We saw the writing on the wall

As we felt this magical

Fantasy

Now with passion in our eyes

There's no way we could disguise it

Secretly

So we take each other's hand

'Cause we seem to understand

The urgency

Just Remeber!

You're the one thing

I can't get enough of

So I'll tell you something

This could be love because

I've had the time of my life

No, I never felt this way before

Yes, I swear it's the truth

And I owe it all to you

You and Chris sung the rest of the song, ending up close to each other, eyes locked and lips close together. However, the sound of the bar cheering broke the grip the two of you had on one another, and he took your hand and walked back to the table. He looked at his watch and over to you and pulled his coat on.

"Come on, I want to show you something," he said with a smile and wrapped his arm around your waist. You lean into him, not caring that the bar was watching you walk out together. He smiled as the two of you walked down the sidewalk towards the park, and you leaned into him, sighing. He stopped walking and smirked at you as he leaned down and lifted one of your feet. He removed a heel and then did the same with the other.

Walking with your heels in one hand, he held your other hand with his free one and smiled at you. "Almost there," he said, and you laughed as he walked you over to the park and the swings. He stood in front of you, holding both of the chains as he smiles and looks into your eyes, his forehead pressed against yours, again you thought he was going to kiss you; but instead, he began to giggle as he stepped back and pulled the chains twisting them causing you to spin around on the swing, making you dizzy. He laughed as you stood up chasing after him, and due to your dizziness, you fell into him, causing you both to fall to the ground, which caused you to erupt into a fit of laughter. He pulled you close, your head resting onto his chest as his hand closed around yours, and he pulled it up to his chest. You looked up at him and smiled as you leaned and kissed his cheek. He smiled down at you, took your hand, and pointed it up to the sky. He told you the constellations. He showed you the north star, and he pointed out Orion's belt.

You looked up at Chris after pulling away from the kiss and took in a deep breath as his eyes locked with yours. He leaned in closer and placed his lips against your cheek. It's so soft, but it sends a shiver through you.

"Y/N," he murmurs against your cheek. "If you want me to stop, tell me," he whispers.

You shake your head and say nothing. His face moves and his nose grazes yours as he brings his lips closer, and he smiles; you smile, taking in how his nose scrunches and lines form beside his eyes.

"And now?" He murmurs as his lips delicately fall against yours.

"Or...," you reach up and pull him flush against you, and the rest of his words are muffled against his mouth. You ball up his shirt into your fists, and he smiles as he deepens the kiss and groans against your soft lips. He circles his arms around you, holding you as close as he possibly can, and pulls slowly to lean his forehead against yours.

After parting from the kiss, there was one thing that you were sure of. On that chilly fall night, you fell in love under the stars. There was one thing you weren't sure of. You didn't know which shone brighter, his eyes or the stars.

It hurt Y/N to have to pull away from him to head home, but your babysitter only had another 30 minutes. He walked you back to your car and smiled as he leaned down and placed your heels back onto your feet and looked up at you as he placed a gentle kiss on your hand before he stood up.

"Date next Friday?" Y/N asked and smiled as Chris pressed a quick kiss to your lips and nodded.

"Only if we can make it proper and you let me pick you up at your place?" You smiled and texted him your address and leaned and kissed him quickly one more time and smiled as he shut your door and watched as you pulled out of the parking spot.

He had kept his mental promise to himself and had taken you to a nice dinner, the museum, and you had ended up at the park again. You laid in his arms, looking up at the sky and studying the stars. You had gotten a babysitter who could stay overnight, just in case you wanted things to go farther.

He held your hand as it rested on his chest, and he moved and looked down at you and smiled as he kissed your forehead. His eyes locked with yours and his lips were on yours again. His lips were like poison on your lips, numbing and intoxicating. You'd stolen some kisses here and there at work, he'd sent you flowers and left you post-it notes on your rotations, and you found it endearing.

"I want you more than you'll ever know," Chris murmured as he leaned in and kissed you. "Come home with me?" He murmurs and pulls away to look down at you. You nod your head and smiles as he lifts you off of the ground carrying you to his car, kissing you as he's walking.

The drive home was only a few minutes, but for both Chris and Y/N, it felt like it was taking forever.

"I want you so bad," Chris groaned as he slipped off your coat and laid it on the chair he liked to read in. Exposing the exquisite sight of the tight dress that you had been wearing earlier.

"Yeah?" Y/N asked as your nose nudged against his, and Chris nudged right back.

"Yeah," he smiled.

They were both breathless by the time Chris' bedroom door opened, from the kissing and the way that Chris had slammed your back against the hallway wall as he tried to get the door opened while your arms were around his neck and your legs around his waist.

"Make love to me," Y/N breathed against his mouth. You groaned as you tugged Chris's bottom lip between your teeth.

He sat you on the edge of his bed and kissed you before he began to take great care in removing your dress. He marked your skin with his lips, leaving you little reminders for the next day. He got the dress removed, and you reached to tug his shirt over his head as he peppered kisses down your neck to your breasts.

You look up at him, your hand moving down his chest and then stopping at the waistband of his pants. You unzip his zipper and push his pants down and groan as he pushes his boxer briefs down with them. He springs out, and you wrap your hand around his erect cock.

"Fuck, baby," Chris hisses as your hand grasped him at the base. He was hard, painfully hard, but the slow twisting of your hand alleviated the tension. You swiped your thumb over the tip of cock, and you smirked as Chris moaned. Chris laid above you, sucking on your breast as you gently stroked his cock. Soon you removed your hand and pulled his head up to your face so you could kiss him. You could feel his cock resting against the inside of your thigh, and Y/N knew you needed to feel him inside you.

"Do we need a--" he said and looked down into your eyes and felt you pull his face back to yours, kissing him deeply.

"M on the pill," you murmured into his lips. "Need you now, baby," you murmured.

Chris had to bite his lip at the sound of your voice. He pulled your panties down, and a whimpered moan escaped his lips as he felt how dripping wet Y/N was.

"If you feel uncomfortable at any moment, we can-," Y/N put a finger to Chris's lips, and Y/N grabbed him and aligned him up to your slick entrance. Chris groaned as he pushed in, holding your hips close, and kissed you hungrily. They moved together in perfect sync, lips meeting every few moments as they groaned each other's names into each other's mouths. Chris took in how Y/N felt beneath him. Your sweat-slicked skin, how your chest and back rose and fell as you breathed, and how you moved your hips in desperation to meet his. This felt so perfect. Sex had never felt like this with anyone else.

"I'm close," you whimpered and wrapped your arms around him. Chris moaned and captured your lips in another kiss. He felt you contracting around his cock, and he pushed in frantically and groaned your name as they came together. He stayed inside of you for a few moments, lips lazily kissing your shoulder before he pulled out and pulled you against him.

"Can you stay?" He murmured, and you smiled as you nodded your head and kissed him lazily. "I might have to leave before you wake up," you murmured and buried your head into his neck.

"It's fine," he said, feeling his eyes already growing heavy. "Y/N," he murmured close to sleep. "I'm glad I waited for you," he said, kissing you lazily before he let sleep take over.

Like you had said the night before, you were gone when he awoke, but you had made his coffee and had left him a note on his coffee mug. Chris awoke the following day, he was hoping you'd still be there, but he figured you had some plans. He headed to the kitchen and smiled as he read the note on the mug and then fixed a cup of coffee.

He couldn't wait to see you later; he couldn't wait to wrap his arms around you and kiss you; if you still wanted to keep things secret, he would kiss you like he had been kissing you. Little stolen kisses in the on-call room, quick little kisses as they both talked to Olivia. He hadn't thought that he would be able to move on after his divorce, he sighed as he thought about his wife. She had wanted children, and he just didn't think he would be cut out to be a father.

A couple of weeks had passed since Chris and Y/N had slept together. People around the hospital were now finding out about their relationship. They felt like things were going well. The only problem was that Y/N was terrified of him finding out that you had a four-year-old son.

The night before, as you had laid on your side half asleep, you had heard him saying that he loved you. You weren't sure if he was asleep or awake. You weren't sure if you had imagined it.

But you felt it too. You had felt it since that first night that he had shown you the stars. The night that he had made you feel like the center of the universe, you were the moon; you were his moon.

You had awoken that morning in Chris' bed to find him already gone for work. You were off that day and had planned on spending it with Oliver. You headed to the shower and smiled as you used Chris's body wash, liking how your body ended up smelling like him. As you dried your hair and changed into clean clothes that you had begun to keep at Chris' place for their Friday dates, your phone rang, and your frantic babysitter was on the other end of the phone, Oliver crying in the background.

"Y/N. I'm sorry, but I walked inside to get him a jacket, and he climbed up into that tree in the back, and then I heard him screaming and crying," she said quickly. "He fell out of the tree, and his arm's broken. We're in the waiting room of the hospital waiting," she said into the phone. "We're not at Boston Memorial. The ambulance brought him to Boston Children's Hospital," the babysitter made sure to note.

"I'm on my way," you said as you hurried out to your car in Chris' driveway. What you didn't expect was for there to be a ton of traffic.

Chris walked out to the waiting room with one of the orthopedic residents. He held a chart and looked down at the name and then over towards the babysitter. "Oliver Y/L/N?" he asked, and the babysitter nodded and held her hand out to Oliver, who looked up at her. "I want my mommy," he said and looked around. "I want my mommy," he said and looked up at Chris as Chris leaned in front of him.

"Hey Oliver," he said, looking at the little boy. "I'm sure your mommy's gonna be here as soon as she can, yeah?" he asked, and Oliver nodded his head and looked at Chris as Chris took out a little stuffed teddy bear that he kept in his pocket and held it out to the little boy. "In the meantime, why don't you hold this? He has magical powers. He'll make you brave, and he'll keep you safe until your mommy gets here, okay?" he asked, and Oliver nodded his head and reached for Chris' hand.

"Will you stay with me until my mommy gets here?" Oliver asked as he clasped his little hand into Chris's.

"Of course I will," he smiled. "We have to take you to this magical room that's going to take a picture of your bones. I'll be right by your side," he said, walking the little boy back through the double doors.

Chris walked in, placed the protective suit on, and stood beside Oliver as they took all of the X-Rays.

They took him to a room, and as promised, Chris sat with him right on the bed beside him, letting Oliver watch Cartoons on his phone. The little boy had fallen asleep, his tiny arm in a cast as his head laid against Chris' that rested on the mattress of the bed.

"His mom is in traffic," the babysitter said and looked up at Chris. "She says she's just a few minutes away," she smiled up at Chris.

"If you need to leave, it's fine," Chris smiled. "My rounds here are over. I can sit with him until his mom gets here," he said as he smiled down at Oliver and ran his hand over the little boy's head.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, of course, just let his mom know which room's he's in," he nodded and looked down at the little boy who still held tightly to the bear he had given him.

The babysitter nodded and walked out of the room and towards the elevator. She headed down to the Lobby just as Y/N had walked in.

"Hey, he's on the 6th floor, room 616. The doctor's sitting with him," she said and smiled as Y/N hugged her. "I'm sorry again,"

"It's okay," Y/N said as you headed towards the elevator.

Y/N could have sworn that the elevator ride up to the 6th floor was taking forever. Your heart was beating a mile a minute as you watched the floor numbers count up from LobbyLobby to 6th Floor. When the door finally dinged, you stepped out, headed to the right door with the correct door number, pushed it opened, and stepped inside.

Your heart almost jumped out of your chest when you saw Chris, your Chris sitting beside your son.

"Hey." You say, and Chris' head turns slowly, and you bite down on the inside of your cheek as he looks up at you, eyes big.

"Hey." He whispers back, looking over you. He stands slowly and runs a hand up the back of his neck.

"Is he o-okay?" You say, stumbling over the words a little.

"Y/N," he says, stepping closer to you. He takes his hand and lifts your chin. You look up at him and bite your lip as he places both hands on each of your cheeks. You feel like crying as you take in the way he looks at you.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He finally asks, his fingers running over your soft skin.

"Chris," you whisper, looking over at your son sleeping soundly. You see that there's an IV running into his arm, and you gather it's probably something for pain. "You said kids aren't for you, and I just didn't know how to bring him up," he breathes in, and he leans his head against yours.

"I didn't have a good upbringing," he whispers simply and closes his eyes, and you wipe a tear that falls down his cheek. Whatever he was holding in was something he didn't talk about because his hands are trembling. "Let's just say my dad ... he wasn't a good man," he said simply. "I'm scared ... terrified that ..."

"Chris, you're not your dad," you say as you cup his face. "You're the best man I've ever met in my life. You complete everything about me, and if this scares you, I know it's something you didn't expect, but that little boy is my world," you smile and look over at your son as he holds the teddy bear that Chris always had in his pocket.

"And about what you said last night," you say as Chris wraps his arm around your waist. "I love you too." He smiles and presses his lips against yours, and you smile as he looks into your blue eyes.

"Mommy, why are you kissing the doctor?" A little voice says from the side of the two of you. Y/N laughs into Chris' lips before turning slowly to look at your son. You walked over to him and leaned down to kiss his head.

"Your Mommy and I are girlfriend and boyfriend, and she just told me that she loves me very much. What do you think of that?"

"I think that you should kiss her again," Oliver giggles and covers his little eyes with his hand that wasn't in the cast with his broken arm.

"Is that so?" Chris asks and smiles down at Oliver. He was still scared, scared that he would lose Y/N, but damn it, he was going to try to hold onto everything that came with dating you and being the best man that he could be for both you and Oliver.

"Yeah!" Oliver said, his hand over his eyes and a big smile. "Kiss her!"

Chris and Y/N laughed as they leaned into each other placing their lips to each other's, and smiled against each other's lips as Oliver laughed beside them.

3 Months Later

You rolled onto your side and felt the empty bed beside you, hoping to move into Chris. He wasn't there. You sat up and smiled as you reached over onto your nightstand, grabbing the baby monitor that sat there. You saw him in the nursery walking back and forth, cradling their baby girl against his chest. You turned up the volume on the monitor and smiled as you heard him softly humming a song to her, her precious little giggles filling the room as she looked up at him from her spot on his chest.

He was terrific. You wondered why he ever doubted himself in the first place. He had shown you what real love was, he had shown Oliver what a father was, and he gave that little girl more love than anyone ever could have dreamed of.

"Come on, my sweet little Liv," he said, kissing her head as he laid her into the crib. "Need to get your sleep," he said and ran a hand over her face as she smiled up at him as he started the baby mobile before heading back to bed to lay beside you. You couldn't help but roll over to lay on top of him, your lips hitting his and a giggle escaping your lips as he rolled you over. He pulls your shirt up, his lips kissing down to your tummy where he places tiny kisses, and he rests his head down and whispers sweet nothings against your small bump.

"I love you to the moon and back, little one," He looks up at you and smiles. "And I love you my sky full of stars,"

Tag List:

@honeysucklesteve @bloomingbucky @buckyssimp @whisperlullaby @deanscherry @certainaesthetic @fallinforevans @midnightf @fluffycutecevans @buckyblues @mickey-henry @roger-that-cap @balenciagabucky @fairyevans @navegandoaciegas @fuckandfluff @honeyloverogers

(Let me know if you would like to be tagged in future fics! Also please let me know if you don't want to be tagged.) Please remember to reblog! Please support all creators by sharing/reblogging! Hope you guys enjoy!

[khimili]

🌺 last update: Mar 16 2021 hello my darlings! if you are currently reading this, i guess you are thinking about sending me an ask. you will find in this post a shit load of information concerning the request guidelines. after you read them, and if you’re still up to it, please send your prompt proposition here. for now, requests are: closed pending requests: none

there will be grammatical and spelling mistakes in my stories, please take in consideration the fact that english is not my mother tongue. i will try to make my stories as pleasant to read as possible but kindly keep in mind that i'm still learning. feel free to point out my mistakes so i can improve myself and rest assured that i am very open to constructive criticism and feedback for any of my writing. please, don’t hesitate to be specific in your requests (character, theme, prompt, ambiance, any ideas are welcomed) so i can please you when i write it but be aware i might change it up a bit (i'm a sucker for happy ending, sorry not sorry). although this should be common sense, do not rush me. i’m not a machine and motivation and inspiration don’t come easy for me. besides, writing in english is an additional challenge and it might take longer than expected. i reserve the right to refuse writing requests but i will always let you know why with a quick message in your dm.

i will mostly write for mcu characters, because that is a fandom i'm pretty comfortable with. i usually try to write canon or semi canon stories, but i will gladly write au stories as well. here’s a non-exhaustive list of the characters i'm pretty fond of: • james buchanan barnes (i volunteer to bear your children) • steve rogers • wanda maximoff (my best girl) • natasha romanoff • peter parker • … it won’t be frequent but I might drift off of the marvel fandom from time to time just so you don’t get bored. as a shameless sebstan enthusiast, i will write for various characters he impersonated on-screen, such as: • lance tucker (because we love to hate him, right?) • charles blackwood • frank • lee bodecker • chris beck (because i can’t say no to an extra dose of fluffiness) if i were to write real person fiction, i would not include any details concerning their private life (family members, known disease, past love life and so on) out of respect for their privacy. i think i would be comfortable enough to write for: • sebastian stan • chris evans

all my fictions will be x female reader, unless you specifically ask for something different. i'm willing to write male and gender-neutral reader though i'm not used to it. i will take any constructive criticism because i live to serve and i’m dying to improve myself. as a caucasian woman, i’ve never had to struggle with racism. as a thin woman, i've never had to struggle with fatphobia. being cisgender, i've never had to struggle with transphobia. and i could go on for hours. but as a woman, i proudly stand for inclusivity and diversity. there will be no specific features such as skin type, body type, hair type, hair color type, eye color type, race unless requested. please, let me know if something is bothering you in my fictions. i'm always willing to learn from my mistakes.

though i would never criticize or shame anyone, there are a few things i will never be comfortable writing about. therefore, i won’t take any request concerning the following themes: • underaged • incest • non con/dub con • romanticization of mental health/self-harm/suicide • abuse • threesomes • no kink shame but daddy kink, breeding kink, humiliation and age play are off-limits • character x character • …

[fairyjeff]

JEFF MULLOY: CHARACTER FACTS

BASICS

Full name: Jeffrey Daniel Mulloy

Age: 32

Face Claim: Chris Hemsworth

Birthdate: December 24, 1987

Height: 6′3′’ (157cm)

Weight: 200lbs (91kg ?)

Species: Gancanagh (Fae)

Sexual orientation: Heterosexual Heteroromantic

Gender identity: Cisgender Male

Education Level: High School 

Occupation: Bartender

Hometown: Boston, Massachusetts

Hair color: Dark/Dirty Blonde

Eye color: Blue

Languages: English

Bio: [ x ]

Moodboards: I HAVENT MADE ANY YET

Pets: Lettie (Mastiff) 

PERSONALITY

Moral Alignment: Neutral Good

MB Type: ESFP

Element: Water

Sign: Capricorn

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor

Positive Traits: caring, loyal, honest, relaxed, patient, 

Negative Traits: bitter, pessimistic, defensive, lonely, jaded, solitary, hot-headed

Pet Peeves/Things that upset or bother her: People who don’t tip their bartender/waitress, creepy people, people 

RELATIONSHIPS

Mother: Annalise “Lisa” Mulloy

Father: Patrick Gilligan 

Siblings: None

Birth Order: Only

Significant Relationships (romantic): lol

Significant Relationships (other): Deirdre Dolan (????), Nell Vural (Dog Sitter), Morgan Beck (Friend?), 

OTHER STUFF

Religion: Atheist.

Political Party: Liberal

Piercings: None

Tattoos: None, yet.

Physique: [ x - shirtless man photo ] Big. Muscular. 

Typical Attire: Jeff is a plain kinda guy. Likes jeans, button downs, t-shirts, and switches off between a good pair of boots and vans.

Accent: South Boston

Scent: Jeff usually has some sort of woodsy cologne on, though his pheromones, if they work on the specific person, probably make him smell whatever is desirable to that person.

Hobbies: Working out, video games, spending time with his dog, hiking, 

Phobias: Being alone for the rest of his ridiculously long life, all of his friends and family dying before him because of his ridiculously long life

Psychiatric Disorders: Depression

Learning Disorders: Is there a fae version of ADD? Because that. 

Physical/Genetic Disorders: None

[spidey-babe-parker]

See the Sun

Chapter 2: My Birthday Girl

Featuring: Dr. Chris Beck x Plus Size Reader

Warnings: drinking, fluff and angst

Summary: it (y/n) birthday and it’s luckily the day you get to video chat with Chris.

AN: my life has been so crazy this summer. Sorry for the delay on posting this.

Chris had been gone for two months and even though she tried not to think about him all the time he seemed to always been in the back of her mind.

She woke up in the morning at sunrise because it was one of the days she got to video chat with Chris. She was starting to feel like every moment of her life was leading up to these video chats. She kept telling herself that couldn’t fall in love with him, that they were just friends but it hard to tell your heart something when it seems to be already wanting to make up its mind.

She sat on her computer staring at the screen waiting for the call to go through. She couldn’t wait to see his bright eyes and crooked smile. The laptop rang for a moment before Chris’ beautiful face popped on the screen. His eyes were as bright as she remembered and his smile made her melt suddenly.

“Good morning,” he rasped.

“Morning,” she couldn’t help the huge smile on her face.

   “What have you been up to since we last talked?” he asked as he messed with the collar of his navy NASA sweater.

“I would say same old same, but Lola’s birthday was yesterday so I got to take care of a bunch of drunk friends in a bar,” she thought back to the night before when she went out with her best friend and bunch of their other girl friends.

His eyes brows knit together as he gave her a crooked smile, “did you drink?”

She shook her head, “someone had to be dd and take care of all their drunk asses.”

He let out a soft laugh he knew that she rarely drank she was always the responsible one that would look after everyone and make sure they got home safe.

“You know you’re the total mom friend right?” he laughed lightly.

She nodded her head well aware that she was the mom friend. She had been like that since she was a little kid. She was the one that would look after all her cousins at any family event, and the person all the neighbors would hire to babysit.

“I have been like that since I was a child,” she laughed.

“I love your laugh,” he sighed lightly. He regretted the words the as soon as they left his mouth though. He was trying his hardest to keep this friendship innocent, but it was so hard when he cared for her so much.

Capturing her bottom lip between her teeth she stared into his pool blue eyes even the computer screen couldn’t hide how bright they were

“How’s space so far?” she asked causing him to smile.

“It’s still big and covered in stars,” his little dad joke caused her to laugh softly.

“You’re such a dork.”

He shrugged his shoulder and smiled, “so what do you have planned this week?”

“I have a big work party in two days that falls on my birthday that I’m trying to convince Lola to be my date to.” She wished that Chris was home so he could be her date. She hated the fact she had to bug her best friend to go with her.

“Why don’t you ask someone to be your date?” he hated the fact that he had to try to push the girl of his dreams to try and put herself out there to date someone else.

“I can’t think of anyone else I would want to ask,” she sighed. She hated when he would do this. She knew this was his way of trying to make sure she didn’t wait around for him.

“There’s nobody?” he said as he pushed his fingers through his hair.

She shook her head and swallows.

“(Y/N)…” he hesitated because he wasn’t even exactly sure what he should say to her.

“Yeah Beck?” she leaned forward and rested her elbow on the table.

“This is hard,” he said softly. He wasn’t even sure what made him think that this could possibly be easy. He didn’t know what made him think that he could possibly just push aside his feeling he had for her.

“It’s extremely hard,” she whispered.

“What do you want for your birthday?” he asked changing the subject.

She smiled at the fact that he remembered her birthday was this week, “I don’t need anything.”

He shook his head, “I have to get you something.”

She knit her eyebrows together, “how would you get me something when you’re way out in space?”

“You underestimate my abilities,” he said with a soft laugh.

“I don’t need anything I enjoy being able to talk to you.”

“I don’t like that answer,” he bit his bottom lip holding back a laugh.

“I don’t know what to tell you then mister,” she laughed.

“Hey Beck,” someone called from behind Chris.

Her heart sank a little know that meant that this was going to be the end of their call for two weeks.

“One second Martinez,” he looked over his shoulder and said. Looking back at the screen he found (Y/N) looking at him with sad eyes. “I don’t want to say goodbye, but.”

“You have space stuff you have to do,” she said softly.

He nodded his head, “next time we talk you’ll be another year older.”

The side of her mouth lifted into a small smile, “yep.”

“I know I shouldn’t say this, but I miss you a lot.”

“I miss you too Beck.”

“I’ll talk to you in two weeks doll,” he sighed not ready to hang up.

“Okay goodbye Beck,” she sighed as her eyes started to brim with tears. She didn’t think should ever make it through a video chat without crying.

“Bye (y/n),” he gave her one last smile before the screen went black in front of her.

She shook her head and pushed back the tears that were threatening to fall. She knew this wouldn’t be easy, but she didn’t expect it to be this hard.

A heavy sigh passed her lips as she stood up from the table. She loved talking to Chris whenever she got a chance, but always saying goodbye to him made her so sad. She didn’t understand how she managed to meet the perfect man at the worst time possible.

Glancing at the clock by the table she knew she needed to start getting ready for work. She pulled herself off to her room to start getting ready. Walking over to her closet she picked out something wear. As she put her clothes on, she couldn’t help but think about Beck like she always did.

- -

A few days later

Coming home work, she didn’t expect to see a note on her door. Picking it up she couldn’t help but smile to see it was from Chris.

Happy birthday I wish I could be there to celebrate with you.

Ps. I owe Lola big time.

Always, Beck

She smiled as she picked up the note and stared at it for a long moment before opening the front door. Walking inside her eyes grew wide at the sight of a huge bouquet of yellow roses. There was a slight sting in her chest at yellow roses being the color of friendship, but she couldn’t help but smile at the fact that he went out of his way to have Lola to get two dozen rose in her apartment while she was at work. She bit her lip as she smiled staring at them. Reaching into their pocket she pulled out her phone and texted Lola.

Thank you for helping out Beck.

Sitting her phone down on the counter she walked over and picked up a rose and stared at it for moment. She thought to herself how did she literally manage to find the most perfect guy literally imaginable, at the worst time.

Her phone dinged and she picked it up see a text from Lola.

Lola

That guy is a damn good guy. He made me promise to take you out to the work party tonight and to make sure you actually drink.

She smiled at her text and shook her head.

I feel like I have a lot of emotions today and honestly need to drink them away.

Her phone dinged thirty seconds later with another text.

Lola: Dress slutty I’ll be home by six.

She couldn’t help but roll her eyes at Lola’s text. Lola really liked Chris but she agreed with him (Y/N) shouldn’t sit around and wait for him for over a year. She had been friends with (Y/N) since college and knew about her plans to hopefully have a family and start the white picked fence dream by the time she was thirty. She knew as well as Chris that he was throwing a wrench in her plans. She knew how happy he made her best friend, but she also knew that (y/n) shouldn’t sit around and wait for a guy she spent one whirlwind week with. She thought she was insane when she threw all she had into those nine days she spent with him. She knew that their relationship had most likely one out come and that was heart break for Stella. Lola had watched her get her heart smashed back in college junior year. She wasn’t sure (Y/N) would ever trust men again after what the asshole Blaine did to her. Lola and (Y/N) met freshman year of college when they were roommates and became best friends immediately. They even lived together now.

- -

Walking into the her work party she looked around to see that a lot of her coworkers were already pretty tipsy. Lola laced her fingers with her best friends and led her straight towards the bar.

“So, your space man told me tonight you were the one getting drunk,” Lola smiled leaning against the bar.

“We both know I’m terrible at drinking. You lived with me in college you know this first hand,” she wasn’t looking forward to drinking whatever he best friend picked out for her.

Lola leaned against the bar and flirted with the bartender and order herself a drink and (Y/N) a drink. It only took a moment before the bartender sat a shot glass in front of her and a tall glass that looked like it was mostly vodka with a splash of cranberry juice.

“Happy birthday,” Lola said with a huge smile on her face.

She picked up the shot glass and stared at the clear liquid wide eyed. She saw the hangover coming before she had even taken a drink of clear liquid. She brought the shot to her lips and tossed it back and cringed as the liquid slid down her throat.

“Another one please,” Lola said to the bartender before she could even set the shot glass down on the table.

Lola was definitely planning on getting her best friend drunk and at this rate it wasn’t going to take much. Another shot was sat in front of her and she glared at her best friend for a moment before she took the shot. She shook her head as liquid slid down her throat.

Lola sipped on her own drink with a smirk on her face.

“You better take care of my drunk ass tonight,” she complained before taking a sip of her vodka with a splash of cranberry.

“Oh, believe I’ll hold your hair while you puke your guts out,” she said before taking another drink of her vodka and cranberry. “The quicker you drink that the quicker we can get out there and dance. Maybe we can find you one of your cute coworkers to take you home tonight.”

Stella rolled her eyes and shook her head, “we both know that’s not happening.”

Lola sighed they had had this conversation over and over again, “Don’t let him stop you from living your life.”

She closed her eyes for a long moment she hated having this conversation with Lola. She exhaled, “he’s not stopping me from doing anything. I’m not closing my heart off.”

Lola shook her head, “we both know damn well that’s utter bullshit, and so does Chris.”

“Can we please not have this conversation right now. I already had it with Beck the other day, and I promise I’m not completely closed off. I can’t help it that I care about someone who is literally a million miles away. If someone was to actually ask me out though I wouldn’t say no to going on a date.”

Knitting her eyebrows together Lola stared at her, “you promise me that would actually give another man a real chance?”

“Yes, I would give another man a chance,” she sighed. “Can we now finish these drinks and go dance?”

Lola smiled before chugging the rest of her drink. (Y/N) quickly drank her own extremely strong drink. Lola sat her glass down on the bar and reached down and laced her fingers with (Y/N)’s and led her off to the dance floor where some of her coworkers who were her friends were dancing. They all took turns hugging her and wishing her happy birthday. It didn’t take long before the group of girls were dancing and having a blast. Lola snuck off to get her best friend another shot. She didn’t want to take knowing that her already tipsy state was walking the very fine line between drunk and tipsy. She took the shot and got cheers from her friends.

They danced as a group for what felt like hours. It didn’t take long for her wobbly self to walk over to the bar attempting to get water. Leaning against the bar a man walked over that worked with her. He was one of the few guys that worked with her that she actually found attractive.

“Happy birthday,” he said leaning against the counter giving her a smirk.

“Thank you, Dan,” she slurred.

“I don’t think I have ever told you this but you look really good,” his chocolate eyes traveled down her very curvy body. Her cheeks flushed pink as she realized he was checking her out.

“Thank you…” she wasn’t what else she could say to him. She was attempting to not close herself off but she didn’t like the idea of flirting with anyone who wasn’t Chris.

“Did you maybe want to dance?” he asked as he rested his hand on her arm.

“I kind of have a boyfriend,” it wasn’t the truth. Technically according to Chris, they were only friends, and him and Lola would both be pissed if they found out she was turning down a chance to dance with someone she found attractive.

“Oh, my bad. Who is your boyfriend?” he pulled his hand off of her.

“His name is Chris Beck and he’s an astronaut,” she sighed.

“The Doctor Chris Beck?” he asked shocked.

“Yep that’s him,” she bit her bottom lip suddenly wanting to disappear.

“Well that’s cool, well if you guys don’t work out maybe we could hang out sometime,” he said before walking away.

She ran her fingers through her curled hair and let out a heavy sigh. She leaned over the bar and got the bartender who was flirting with Lola to pour her one last shot.

That last shot was the nail in the coffin. Lola walked her drunk ass out of the bar and held her hand and led her through their apartment.

Lola helped her get dressed for bed and brought her a makeup wipe so she could clean her face. Lola tucked the birthday girl in and then headed off to her own room.

She laid in bed for a few moments before she reached over to her nightstand was and grabbed her laptop.

Opening her emails, she found an email from Chris with subject as “Happy Birthday”. She clicked on the email and suddenly wanted to cry as she read his sweet words.

My birthday girl,

I wish that I was able to send you more then flowers and a few notes for your birthday. I’m up here in space while hopefully Lola is taking you out for your birthday and making sure for once you aren’t sober one taking care of your drunk friends. I’m assuming that by the time you actually read this email it won’t be your birthday anymore, but I wanted to be more then I was able to say in my small note with your flowers I sent you.

I have so many things I want to say to you, but I can’t bring myself to say to you. I don’t think I have ever thought about anyone more then I think about you. Even surrounded by a million stars I can’t help think about how they’ll never compare to the way your freckled kissed skin looks as the morning light shines through the curtains.

Even after reading this I need you to still keep your heart open.

Always, Beck

Her eyes brimmed with tears as even in her drunken state she read his email over and over again. Even when he makes little confessions, he’s attempting to be selfless by telling her not to close herself off.

She knew in her drunken state she shouldn’t respond to his email, but she felt like she had a lot of things she needed to say to him.

Beck,

I don’t think I can even put into words how much I miss you, and your touch. I try to tell myself often that I shouldn’t think about you but I always do. Seeing the flowers, you sent me for my birthday honestly made my day. You’ll be happy to know that Lola took me out tonight and got me very drunk. I can already feel the hangover coming on. Tonight, some guy I worked with asked me to dance and I couldn’t bring myself to say yes to him. Please don’t be mad but I can’t picture myself being held by another man when the only one I think about is you. I know I’m probably drunkenly rambling and that when you read this it will make no sense. I guess I just wish that I could actually see you and talk to you more. I wish that I could have actually spent my birthday with you.

Love, (Y/N).

She closed her laptop and soon fell asleep.

The bright light shining through the curtains woke her up and was greeted with a pounding headache that was reminder of all she had drank the night before. She groaned as she rubbed her eyes. Her eyes grew wide as she remembered that she drunkenly emailed Chris.

Grabbing her laptop she quickly opened it and turned it on and got suddenly nervous when she saw she had another email from Chris.

Star Girl,

I can tell we are both left wanting to say a lot of things that we shouldn’t say out loud. I wanted nothing more in the universe then to have been able to actually spend your birthday with you. I’m glad Lola took you out and made sure for once you weren’t the sober friend. I hope you aren’t too hungover today.

I’m not mad at you for not dancing with the guy you work with, but I want you to actually give people a chance to get to know the amazing girl I know. I can’t be selfish and expect you to just be mine. Oh and I find your drunken rambling cute just so you know.

I agree with you I want nothing more then to actually talk to you more and to be able to see you. I look forward to our video chats every other week.

Always, Beck.

She sighed as she read his email a few times, she wished that he would just ask her to wait for him because honestly, she was pretty sure she was waiting for him. She didn’t think it was possible to share the same feeling she had for another man that had for Dr. Chris Beck.

♡All my taglist are open ♡

@minahraven @lokilvrr @breezy1415 @tina8009 @theonelittleone @angelus320 @thisismysecrethappyplace @asadmarveltrashbag @this-side-of-midnight5 @mywinterwolf @imjustsad-leavemebe @beanhardy @geeksareunique @mizzzpink @notyourtypicalrose @beccavesper @lilulo-12 @iluvmesomemarvelndc @mackevanstanfan80 @spidey-pal @el-dibidibidorado1 @rogue-barnes-16--main-account @sadanddeadsoul @lilydarcy @nostalgicbailey @ledandan1244 @chook007 @usernamemingmei

[thank-you-for-the-vampire-money]

I’LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS

I’ll Be Home for Christmas by Bing Crosby

A/N: Last one! (or is it???) this has been really fun!  As you may have noticed, I did change “Rockin around the Christmas tree” from a Thor x reader to a Peter Parker x reader, that’s because I’ll probably be adding Peter to my masterlist and writing more fics for him.  Anyway, here’s the last fic (?) in my Christmas writing spree!

Chris Beck x reader

Word count: 633

Summary: Missions to orbit the earth, SUCK.  All you wanted was to spend Christmas with your husband, but it looks like you’ll have to settle for facetime.

Warnings: none

I’ll be home for Christmas

You can plan on me…

You were so excited!  Chris was finally coming back down to Earth!  He had been in orbit since Easter; and even when he was home those few months before, he was still in and out of the office constantly.  Obviously, it had been a while since you and your husband had seen each other in person.

For the first couple months, which seemed more like years, you and him had been Skyping and Facetiming often.  But, within the past two months, Chris has barely been contacting you at all.  Probably because they were getting to land.  And if that was the reason, you were fine with it!

Please have snow and mistletoe

And presents on the tree...

The house was perfectly decorated!  You tree was beautiful, covered in all of the space-themed ornaments Chris always got from work, the old, homemade decorations you and him had made when you were kids, and of course, the crown jewel; the star.

It sat upon the tree proudly, looking down at the piano and fireplace.  The big, light up star made the glittery and shimmery wrapping paper of the gifts under the tree shine, causing various colors of the rainbow bounce off the dimly lit walls.  Chris would love this!

Christmas Eve will find me

Where the love light gleams

Chris would be home late, but you decided to stay up and wait for him.  You shut off all the lights, except for the ones on and around the tree that sat in front of the window.

Ten o’clock, and there was no sign of Chris.  Maybe you should call him.  No, you could wait a little longer.

Two in the morning… nothing.  Okay, now it was time to call him.  You picked up your phone and pressed the Facetime app  and called Chris.

“Hey, sunshine,” he greeted tiredly.  The background was black, but he was sitting in a chair.  He must have been in the plane on the way home.

“Hey… baby,” you yawned, curling up on the couch more comfortably, “when are you going to be back?  I’ve been waiting for you,”

“Aw, honey, I’m sorry, I forgot to tell you,” he whimpered, his brows furrowing in sadness, “I won’t be home until tomorrow night, er… later tonight… wait, what timezone are you in again?”

“Chris!” you chided, huffing, “you promised you would be home before Christmas!  You won’t be back until Christmas is practically over!”

“I know baby…” he sighed, rubbing his tired eyes.  I wonder how much jet lag coming in from space would cause?  “But, I promise, when I get back, we’ll have the bestest Christmas ever,”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

  You sat on the couch later that morning, when it was more appropriate to be awake.  You sat there, disheartened and sad as you stared at the tree, which seemed a lot less lustrous now.  You stared at the green-wrapped box right in front of the tree; you got that one for Chris.  You thought it would be funny to get him a Star Wars lego set, since he actually works in space.  Damn… you were so excited to see him open it this morning.

  A quiet knock on the door sounded, jolting you out of your thoughts.  Hm, weird, you weren’t expecting guests today.  Maybe it was the mailman.

You got up, fixing your sweater before opening the door.

“Hey baby,” Chris smiled cheekily, holding a sprig of mistletoe over his own head.

You squealed, jumping into his arms and giving him multiple kisses all over his face.  “I MISSED YOU!” you shouted joyously as he wrapped his arms around you.

“Told you I would make this the bestest Christmas ever,”

I’ll be home for Christmas

If only in my dreams

TAGLIST:

@buckyshattergirl @bitchy-tacos @httpmcrvel @paranoid-borderline-insane

[biofunmy]

How to watch, who’s performing, who was snubbed and more

CLOSE

It’s already been a big year for 18-year-old Billie Eilish who was just announced to perform at the Grammy Awards and received 6 Grammy nominations.

USA TODAY

Brace yourself, Billie Eilish and Lizzo fans: The 2020 Grammy Awards are shaping up to be a big night.

The Grammys are quickly approaching, and this year’s ceremony looks like it’ll live up to its rep as “Music’s Biggest Night.”

Will “Bad Guy” singer Eilish come out on top? Will Lizzo leave feeling “Good As Hell” with trophies in hand? Will Lil Nas X land some wins, or will the “Old Town Road” rapper be left in the dust? Oh, and when is it again?

From the breakout nominees to the surprising snubs, here’s everything you need to know going into this year’s Grammys.

What time are the Grammys?

The show will broadcast live from Los Angeles’ Staples Center on Sunday, Jan. 26. It airs on CBS at 8 p.m. ET/5 p.m. PT.

How can I watch the Grammys on TV or online?

Well, if you have regular TV, on CBS. If you don’t, the show is available for streaming on CBS All Access and on live TV packages through services such as YouTube TV and Hulu live TV. 

You can stream all the red carpet arrivals on Grammy.com.

Notable 2020 Grammy nominees

Lizzo received the most nominations – eight, including album (“Cuz I Love You”), record and song (“Truth Hurts”) of the year. She’s followed by Lil Nas X and Eilish, who are tied with six nods each. Artists with five nominations include Ariana Grande, H.E.R. and Finneas O’Connell. 

Eilish, 18, joins Lizzo, 31, in the album of the year category with her genre-bending, critically acclaimed debut “When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?” The trend-setting teen, whose music has amassed more than 15 billion combined streams across platforms, is also up for record and song of the year for No. 1 hit “Bad Guy.” That makes her the youngest nominee in Grammy history to be nominated in all four major categories, according to the Recording Academy.

Lizzo received the most Grammy nominations this year, with eight, including album (“Cuz I Love You”), record and song (“Truth Hurts”) of the year. (Photo: Don Arnold, Getty Images)

Lil Nas X, 20, whose real name is Montero Hill, is similarly up for best album with his eight-song debut “7.” “Old Town Road,” his country-rap collaboration with Billy Ray Cyrus that topped the charts for a record-breaking 19 consecutive weeks this summer, is nominated for best pop/duo group performance, and his follow-up single “Panini” is up for best rap/sung performance. 

Grande’s five nods include record (“7 Rings”) and album of the year (“Thank U, Next”). The best album category is rounded out by Bon Iver’s “I, I,” Lana Del Rey’s “Norman F***ing Rockwell,” H.E.R.’s “I Used to Know Her” and Vampire Weekend’s “Father of the Bride.” 

10 best albums of 2019, including Billie Eilish, Lana Del Rey and FKA Twigs

Grammy nominations: Lizzo leads, Billie Eilish makes history, and ‘Old Town Road’ scores

Who got snubbed?

Though this year’s nominations shined a light on new artists, established favorites, such as Taylor Swift and Bruce Springsteen, were left in the dark.

10-time Grammy winner Swift made history in 2016 by becoming the first female artist to win album of the year twice, for “1989” and “Fearless” (a feat managed a year later by Adele, with “25” and “21”). Swift’s Grammys streak has slowed: Her divisive “Reputation” earned just one nod in 2018 for best pop vocal album, and this year, she garnered only three nominations, including song of the year for “Lover.”

Her critically beloved album “Lover” failed to land a best album nod but showed up in best pop vocal album. Her pro-LGBTQ anthem “You Need to Calm Down” eked out a nomination for best pop solo performance but missed out on record of the year. 

Taylor Swift is no stranger to Grammy wins, but this year, she has only three nominations. (Photo: Dia Dipasupil / Getty Images)

Similarly, 20-time winner Springsteen has been a reliable Grammy presence since 1984 and was honored in 2013 by the Recording Academy’s charity arm as MusiCares Person of the Year. The Boss returned this summer with the country-tinged “Western Stars,” which marked his first album of solo material since 2012’s “Wrecking Ball.” Voters didn’t welcome him back with open arms, snubbing “Western Stars” and Springsteen entirely. 

Grammy snubs 2020: Taylor Swift, Bruce Springsteen miss out on major nominations

Alicia Keys will host the Grammys for the second year in a row. (Photo: Emma McIntyre, Getty Images for Billboard)

Who’s hosting the Grammys?

After hosting the 2019 Grammys, Alicia Keys is back and ready to take on the gig for the second year in a row. With 15 Grammy wins, Keys is certainly qualified.

“It’s almost like a marathon: You can’t just run a marathon (once),” Keys said of her desire to host a second time. “I feel like now, more than ever, I’m familiar with the space on multiple levels. It’s going to be an exciting, inclusive, beautiful experience, and that’s what I want to create.”

2020 Grammy nominations: See the complete list of artists up for an award

Who’s performing?

This year’s Grammys should be a big night for Eilish and Lizzo, not just because of their nominations but also because they’ll each make their Grammys stage debuts. 

Demi Lovato will also take the stage, marking her first live performance since she was hospitalized after a possible drug overdose in 2018.

“I told you the next time you’d hear from me I’d be singing,” Lovato wrote on Instagram Tuesday, along with the announcement.

Also returning to the show is Grande, who didn’t attend last year after a dispute with Grammys producer Ken Ehrlich.  

Ehrlich will be honored in a tribute performance Sunday featuring artists involved in his 40-year career. Performers will include Camila Cabello, John Legend, Cyndi Lauper and Ben Platt, among others.

Power couple Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani will perform together at the show for the first time. Additionally, Billy Ray Cyrus, Lil Nas X, BTS, Diplo and more will join forces for an “Old Town Road All-Stars” performance.

Aerosmith, Run-D.M.C, Charlie Wilson, Bonnie Raitt, Camila Cabello, H.E.R., the Jonas Brothers, Rosalía and Tyler, The Creator will all also take the stage.   

Sunday’s show will also pay tribute to rapper Nipsey Hussle, who was shot to death outside his Marathon clothing store in the South Los Angeles neighborhood where he was from in March 2019. DJ Khaled, John Legend, Roddy Ricch, Kirk Franklin, Meek Mill and YG will honor Hussle’s legacy with a performance. The late rapper is nominated for three awards this year including best rap song. 

Who’s presenting?

Famous faces set to hand out the golden gramophones include Trevor Noah and Jim Gaffigan, who are both nominated for Best Comedy Album, as well as Brandi Carlile and Tanya Tucker, who are also set to perform.

Also presenting are previous Grammy winners Common, Cynthia Erivo, Dua Lipa, Billy Porter, Smokey Robinson, Shania Twain, Keith Urban and Stevie Wonder, as well as past Grammy nominees Ava DuVernay and Bebe Rexha. 

Music industry titans Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne will also hand out trophies.

How are the Grammy Awards different this year?

This year’s Grammys will have more women, people of color and young people choosing who wins.

Responding to criticism that the awards show has lacked diversity among nominees and winners, the Recording Academy invited 900 members to join the voting body, emphasizing women, people of color and those under the age of 39, or some combination of the three. 

Who will be honored at Grammy Awards events?

Grammys fun kicks off way before the main awards show begins.

One of the most famous lead-up events is record producer Clive Davis’ star-studded pre-Grammys gala, held this year on the Saturday night before the show.

At this year’s gala, three-time Grammy winner Sean “Diddy” Combs will be recognized as the 2020 Grammy Salute to Industry Icons honoree for his 25-year career in the music industry.

The Friday before the Grammys, rock band Aerosmith will be honored as the 2020 Person of the Year for MusiCares, the Recording Academy’s charity for musicians in critical financial need. The band earned the title for their philanthropy and impact on music history.

They will be honored with a tribute concert featuring Gary Clark Jr., Alice Cooper, Foo Fighters, H.E.R., the Jonas Brothers, Emily King, John Legend, John Mayer and Yola, among others.

The Tuesday after the Grammys, late music icon Prince will be honored with an all-star tribute concert featuring Beck, Alicia Keys, John Legend, Chris Martin, Usher, H.E.R., the Foo Fighters, Earth, Wind & Fire and others.

Contributing: Patrick Ryan, USA TODAY; Mesfin Fekadu, Associated Press 

Autoplay

Show Thumbnails

Show Captions

Last SlideNext Slide

Read or Share this story: https://www.usatoday.com/story/entertainment/music/2020/01/17/grammys-2020-how-watch-stream-performers-snubs-host-and-more/4461942002/

Sahred From Source link TV and Movies

from WordPress http://bit.ly/30VjBqa via IFTTT

[peacefulwriter88]

Belong To You

Chris Beck x PoC One Shot

Chris Beck, you decided was the worst. You were going to cut off his legs and watch him slowly bleed to death. No, you were going to chop off his dick. No, you were going to chop of his dick and his arms so he didn’t have the ability to doodle his stupid equations all over random pads of paper in your shared apartment.

You thought this as you pushed yourself out of the restaurant, into the busy chaos of the Brooklyn sidewalk, the humidity hitting you with a ferocity in the waning twilight.

You heard your name but you tried to ignore it, ignore him as you walked out toward the streets edge, the traffic hurling past you and causing the remnants of the north wind to tighten your jacket closer to you. You could just leave him. You’d only been dating him for two years – it couldn’t hurt. You were young enough you could wrangle some guy to love you as much as he did, knock you up with some kiddos and live a picture perfect life.

As you turned, taking in his tall frame as he tried to navigate clumsily past waiters, the hostess, you knew you couldn’t do any of that.

You loved Chris Beck. Your heart belonged to him.

Had loved him ever since he sat next to you in organic chemistry, your heart belonging to the lanky blue eyed genius as he thrusted his hand out to you. You were going to leave the class, walk down to the registrar’s office and demand to be put in anything that wasn’t this mental purgatory on earth. You had only chosen it because it was the only science class left over and you wanted to get your science credits out of the way. After reviewing the syllabus in your seat, you knew the error in your ways and was about to scoot out when he sat next to you. 

He had always been a goddamn pain in your ass.

Couldn’t have dated you while you were in college. No – you both were too fucking awkward and insecure for that. Then he had to go off and become this brilliant scientist – spending the next 12 years in the army, getting into NASA before he finally landed a few trips to space. Had become accomplished and successful while you stayed on earth, ironically working in policy that low and behold dealt with space policies and environmental research. Spent too many years dating losers and getting drunk with girlfriends all the while wondering how Beck had managed to get you to move down to Florida with him for a while, both of you being mutual roommates while he continued to explore the world – discover himself. Tried everything to try to cleanse him from your soul but you couldn’t because Beck was a part of you, got under your skin. You did the same for him – it was why he always came pawing back to you whenever he was free, wanting to spending every hour staying in connection with you.

That was how the love affair had unraveled. After his last message, the great rescue of Watney, he had been done of space. Tired of the politics behind space research and wanted to come back to earth, to continue to explore and learn and discover in the great mystery that space was but unable to continue to live in an isolated world millions away from others.

From you.

So he had swooned you, convinced you once again to move to New York with him but this time as his girlfriend, his equal – his true partner in crime. And though you argued with him for it for days, reminding him that you weren’t the kind of woman who made decisions for a man, you ultimately did and a small piece of you still hated yourself for it.

Except when you got to New York, things had truly changed. Beck had been serious about your relationship. Went grocery shopping with you and helped with making meals and taking out the trash Carved out date nights with you and wouldn’t argue back if you dragged him to another one of your friend’s couples brunch.

Though he traveled all the time, either doing research or lectures, he tried to make time for you. Whether it was late night Facetime calls or random snaps – he’d try to carve out just a bit of time so you knew he was thinking about you. There were a lot of things he could do better – like putting the toilet down or doing the dishes or keeping better track of his schedule but he was human and you let it slide. There were plenty of things he could equally argue about you.

Until he had suspiciously asked you out to dinner with some of his friends. Normally you wouldn’t have thought anything of it. Except when you rounded the corner, expecting your normal group of friends you frequently dined with, you had instead been bombarded with the EVA crew – Beth included in the group.

That was all you needed. He knew how you felt about her. You knew how she felt about you. She hated you for always having his heart and you hated her for having it for far longer than you cared to acknowledge. The relationship was mutual.

Except, Beck in typical fashion hadn’t warned you. Had warned her, you noticed by the short sneer on her face, but not you.

Fucking Beck.

So you didn’t even bother to make your presence known. She’d been the only one to see you and you knew that she’d let Beck know. She loved being the cause of fights between the both of you, whether she was in a relationship or not. Loved it because it meant they were both miserable and she for once wasn’t.

“Y/N stop!”

He’s caught up to you, grabbing your arms and pulling you toward him. Then he curses under his breath, his eyes concerned as he looks down at your level, his eyes worried,

“Oh don’t…..don’t cry Y/N. What’s wrong? What happened? Did something bad happen at work?”

You didn’t realize you had been crying and you push at him, though the tears are coming faster because you’re so mad at him and even more mad that he doesn’t even know why you’re so upset.

“No nothing bad happened at work. Why didn’t you tell me we were having dinner with the EVA crew?”

He frowns, his eyebrows knitting together.

“Didn’t I?” he asks and you shake your head as you bite your lip.

“You know….I don’t care who you hang with Chris. I don’t care what you do. I trust you but goddamn you don’t even warn me about Beth being there. You know we don’t like each other and you know it’s because of you. You warned her about me but you never – I swear to god – you never warn me about her. Why is that?”

“What do you mean? I tell you all the time when I’m around her!” he counters, and you shake your head, crossing your arms.

“No you don’t Beck! You always tell her things first and then I find out days later, thanks to other friends or social media. You never share things with me but it never seems to be a problem with Beth – with anyone! Why do you box me out?!”

You know you are probably overacting, that if you had slept more than four hours each night that week and dragged your ass to the gym this morning, you’d have fake smiled through it. But he had been away for three weeks, on a press tour with the whole crew and you had missed him terribly and feared that he would realize what he missed in Beth, being around the petite genius for the extended period of time and leave you for her.

Wasn’t your finest moment, you’d like to believe that you weren’t defined by a man and yet here you were. But that doesn’t matter now. You were feeling how you felt and you couldn’t stop it.

 “I didn’t think to tell you because of the tour. Figured you’d assume…” he’s still watching you with concern, his arms drawing you closer to him as he wraps them around your body.

You want to punch him in his stupid chest but you can’t help but let his cologne consume your senses, your body relaxing in his embrace as your face presses into his chest. He strokes your back gently as the tears pour out, because he knows that everything you are saying is right.

It isn’t intentional. It’s just what happens when you spend five years living with another human being. All of his life had been dictated by the people in the confined space of the shuttle and he didn’t know how to let anyone else in. Even you, who he had known all of his adult life. You had been patient, every time you had tried to pull away and start a life of your own he had selfishly pulled you back.

He knew that you were right. He was a selfish prick.

He just was afraid to let you in completely. Afraid that you would see that he really was a nerdy, awkward white dude and that you deserved better.

“I know that I’ve been a selfish asshole basically…probably since I asked you to move down to Florida with me.”

“That’s true.” You mutter in his chest and he chuckles as his grip tightens around you and he whispers in your ear.

“But I love you so much Y/N. I wish you could understand that I’m still trying to figure out how to operate in this world while not losing what my life has been for 10 years. I….” he stops, pulling away and looking down at you. You had gone out of your way, he knew, with your makeup, had dolled up your hair. The fitted dress you were wearing popped against your skin, glimpses of it peaking out of your pea coat. You looked gorgeous, had gone out of your way just for him.

“I don’t want to be with anyone else because you’ve always been home.”

Your eyes are furrowed together, and you sigh as you shake your head.

“I love you too Chris but I just…I can’t do this. Where you fuck up and I forgive you and then it’s good for two months until you’re getting pulled away. You’re never around, never around to fight for me or get to know me, beyond the glimpses I’ve allowed you to see over all this time so how do I know what you want and how I fit in that picture? I know how Beth does and that’s what scares me Beck. Scares me because we might be so right together but you’ve never allowed me to feel that.

Your words take him off guard as you take a big sigh, looking beyond him to the crew table that had been watching with curiosity, trying their best to look uninvolved and like they hadn’t watched the exchange go down when your eyes connect with theirs.

“Better get back inside. Don’t want your crew to worry about you.”

You push past him, back into the restaurant. All you needed was a bathroom to tidy yourself up, fix your makeup. Then you could feign your way through the meal before heading home and passing out.

You didn’t have the energy to fight with Chris anymore. You’d save that for the morning.

You make your way to the family restroom, not wanting to deal with strangers judging you while you stood in the mirror and tried to fix your makeup. Probably selfish of you but hell, you’d try to be selfless most of the time so what was 5 minutes consuming a small space in a restaurant that was way too expensive.

You’re too distracted looking through your bag, digging for your makeup clutch that you don’t hear Beck behind you. He had silently followed you back into the restaurant, fear gripping his heart.

He couldn’t lose you.

He loved you. When he thought of his future, his future was filled with you. Marriage even though in his mind that involved a wedding and he knew he’d probably never have one for you (you had made that clear multiple times). Kids because despite you saying you never wanted any, you would make side comments that teased about what your children had looked like. You were always trying to push away this future, the signs always lingering in the air, because you were unsure of what it would be with him. Because he had made a future with the two of you diluted. How were you to know that he dream of growing old together? Wanted to take you to Northern lights and surprise you with the Italian trip to Tuscany he knew you wanted to go to for the summer. It was why he had been working so much.

But he was the worse at communicating – always to you where it counted.

And now, because of it, he might lose you forever.

So when you opt into the family restroom, he takes the opportunity to follow you. Doesn’t care who sees as he steps in behind you, your eyes locking in the mirror as he blindly finds the lock to the door. You give a large sigh as he steps toward you and you turn, shaking your head.

“Chris I can’t do this now…” He sees the way your eyes brim with tears and cups your face, looking down at you.

“I’m afraid if I tell you how much I need you, how desperately I love you, you’ll take my heart and run away with it. So I keep myself guarded hoping that you’ll always want to chase after me.”

He whispers this as you look at him, your eyes looking tenderly into his own and you sigh, wrapping your hands over his.

“You’ve always had my heart Chris. I’m tired of chasing you, I want you to stop and stay here.”

He bends down, his lips pressed against your own, softly threading against your own and you sigh as you wrap your arms around him. He pushes back, desperate for you as his tongue skims your lips, beckoning your mouth open and you oblige as your tongues clash against each other, desperate – needy. He groans as your body runs into the counter and he lifts you, pressing his body between your legs as he pushes your jacket off of you.

“I’ll do whatever you need me to do.” He whispers as his mouth moves lower, his lips caressing against your neck. His mouth finds your pulse and bites down on the tinder spot, and you moan rolling your head to the side.

“Empty promises Beck. I’ve heard them all before.”

You were always snarky, always had a combat and typically Beck could roll with it. Except when he had you like this. When you were putty in his hands – panther gone pussycat and his hands trail up your legs, pushing them wider as he makes his way to your core.

“What can I do to prove to you that I mean it this time. Every time before and every time after. You are my end my love,” his hands brushes against your center, your panties pooling in wetness and he growls, his voice dark and gravely as he whispers against your skin, “Oh darling, is this all for me?”

You bite back the whimper that escapes you as his hands push your panties to the side, his hands moving up and down your folds as his mouth moves over to your ear.

“Would pleasing this pretty little pussy of yours make it better?”

His finger flicks your cunt and you gasp, your hands instantly gripping his shoulders and you he chuckles darkly as you whisper out,

“It’s a start.”

“Hmmmmmm,” he’s too distracted, another finger joining the dance between your legs before he’s pushing them into your center, causing your breath to hitch as you lift off the counter, trying to get some friction between your legs. “You’re so perfect. This pretty little pussy always so wet, so fucking tight for me. God do you know that you drive me insane. I’ve spent so many hours for years thinking about you, wanting you to be mine. Did you know that sometimes, when I fucked Beth I’d close my eyes and pretend it was you – that’s how fucked up I am. I’m a selfish asshole but god am I a slave for you..”

His breath is shallow as he watches you come undone between his passing, thumb steady on your clit, rubbing the taunt muscle as your hands grip at his arms as you moan out his name. Your body shakes, giving into the pleasure as your eyes flutter open, looking into him.

“That’s right sweetheart. Cum for me, show daddy how you like it.”

It’s the way his steely blue eyes are watching you, unraveling paired with the huskiness in his voice that has you screaming out his name and his mouth falls on yours, mouth demanding as he pulls his digits out from you.

“Gotta be quit sweetheart, or you’re going to get us in trouble.”

You’re too spent, too tired to fight anymore. Chris was in control. Beck has always been shy, hesitant. Needing a push before he makes the first step. You were typically the bold one, aggressive and sure in your actions. Except when it came to you. Chris became someone different, so goofy and clumsily but also demanding, territorial and confident. It always spurred you on.

His hands make quick work of his belt and you help with the process pushing down his pants and briefs to unveil his cock, already red and throbbing, precum dripping from the clit.

“Oh Chris…” it always took you by surprise how big he was, girthy and ready and he smirks, pulling you back down into a kiss as he widens your legs.

“This will always be yours…” he mutters against your lips, his cock sliding into your pussy and your gone, your walls fluttering around him as you pull away to look at him. He always felt too big for you but also just right and you exhale a satisfied sigh as you hold his face in your hands.

“I know idiot. Just like I’ll always be yours.”

He’s bashful as he bends down to kiss you, tasting you again as his hips drive into you, lifting your legs higher as you whimper, falling back against the mirror.

“Going to make you see the stars sweetheart.” He pants, his hips moving faster as he bends down, biting down your neck. “Gonna mark you up so when you leave here everyone knows that you’re mine.”

Your hands rake through his hair, your body shaking as he drives into that spot that has you mewling, his name a whispered reverence against your lips.

“I want her to see the evidence of our lovemaking so she understands that I’m only yours. Don’t you see Y/N, you got me all shades of fucked up and she’s jealous because she knows she’ll never compare…”

His hips are stuttering now, moving faster as he places soft kisses on your neck, his hand snaking between your legs where you both meet and he flicks at your clit, making you tremble. You look up at him, your eyes watering as you wrap yourself around him, drawing him deeper inside you. He groans, loving how tight you feel around him as you grab his face, shaking his head.

“You are such an asshole.” You whisper and he chuckles, biting down on your collarbone.

“Yea,” he whispers back, his cock rubbing against that spot that has you pawing and his hips repeat the moving steadily, slowly, his hand slowly teasing around the small bundle of nerves, making you shake in anticipation. “But I’m you’re asshole.” He presses down on your clit, his cock snapping into you and you scream, his mouth covering your own trying to muffle the sound. He doesn’t stop in his movements and his hips stutter, his seed filling in you and you give a satisfied moan as he wraps himself around you, your name a repeated chant that he mutters in your ear.

You both lay there, Beck wrapped around you as you breathe steadily, placing soft kisses against your neck.

He loved you, you knew that. Beck had never been great with words but he had always tried to find sweet other ways to show you how much you meant to him. Sometimes the message got diluted, sometimes his witty brain got the best of him but at the core you knew.

“I just need you to show me once in a while what I mean to you. Because when you don’t it hurts even more.”

“I know. I will work on it. I promise.” He kisses you again, this time slow and sweet but its short lived as theirs a soft knock on the door. You both tense as you hear Mark clear his throat saying,

“Hey guys…when you’re decent and all….might want to join us at the table. Most of the restaurant uhhhh heard you and I don’t think you’ll get arrested but you know….”

Chris’ face turns bright red, embarrasement washing over you and you can’t help but laugh as you answer back,

“Roger that Watney.”

You turn to Chris, a large grin on your face.

“Guess everyone knows now.”

Even though he swats you, waiting exactly ten minutes before he joins you at the table, his suit still ruffled from lovemaking, he isn’t shy about kissing you tenderly on the forehead, ignoring the knowing eyes as they drink you both in.

“Guess they do.” He whispers against your skin.

[trvepeak-blog]

[Grammy Special] Mix Analysis #7 “Lazarus” by David Bowie

FOREWORD

Welcome to article number two of a ten part series about the last ten winners of the Grammy for „Best Engineered Album“! This time my mix analysis will be about „Lazarus“ off of David Bowie’s Album „★“. The first article was about Bruno Mars’ „That’s What I Like“, which was surprisingly dynamic for such a big release but also suffered from noticeable compression and unnecessary loudness. Here’s a list of all winning records:

2018 - “24k Magic” by Bruno Mars 2017 - “Blackstar” by David Bowie 2016 - “Sound & Color” by Alabama Shakes 2015 - “Morning Phase” by Beck 2014 - “Random Access Memories” by Daft Punk 2013 - “The Goat Rodeo Sessions” by Yo-Yo Ma, Stuart Duncan, Edgar Meyer & Chris Thile 2012 - “Paper Airplane” by Alison Krauss & Union Station 2011 - “Battle Studies” by John Mayer 2010 - “Ellipse” by Imogen Heap

You can find A LOT of information about the person David Bowie but I will just leave you with a few anecdotes about his final album „★“ before we dive into the hard facts. Did you know David Bowie and his friend / producer Tony Visconti tried to „avoid Rock ’n’ Roll“ while creating this record and mentioned Kendrick Lamar’s „To Pimp A Butterfly“ as their biggest influence, as well as Boards Of Canada and Death Grips? Bowie also recruited a local Jazz band from New York for the recording sessions, who where completely unaware that he was suffering from liver cancer. This shines a completely different light on his lyrics, as he was actually facing death and reflecting about his own mortality.

Another interesting thing about this record is the CD and LP artwork. Lyrics were printed black on black with partial varnish so you can only read them in a certain angle. The whole packaging in general contains a lot of secrets and Easter eggs which can be found here. It’s also noteworthy the title track sounds almost the same played backwards and was originally longer than 9m 58s but shortened to meet iTunes restrictions. Which surprised me because a) how is it possible Apple tells David Bowie how long his music should be and b) there are a lot of songs on iTunes songs that go far beyond the 10 minute mark. Here’s why: Any song shorter than 10 minutes can be sold as a single and instantly downloaded, everything longer than that can only be purchased together with the whole record. Which is standard on this platform but not mandatory so they could have kept the original length of "Lazarus".

Before we start the mix analysis I would like to share a conspiracy theory I came across during my research. It’s about David Bowie predicting his own death, as well as the birth of Kanye West… There you go: The David Bowie & Kanye West Conspiracy Theory, Explained

HARD FACTS

Record Label: ISO, RCA, Columbia, Sony

Year of Release: 2016

Duration: 06 m 22 s

PSR: ~ 10.0 (lowest) ~ 6.0 (highest)

Average Loudness: -8.0 LKFS

Inter-Sample Peaks: 0.4 dBTP (left) 0.6 dBTP (right)

Digital Peak: 0.0 dBFS (left) 0.0 dBFS (right)

Mixing Engineer:  David Bowie, Tony Visconti

Mastering Engineer: Joe LaPorta at Sterling Sound

For measuring the PLR, Average Loudness and Inter-Sample Peaks I used MasterCheck Pro by british company Nugen Audio. To keep it as neutral and simple as possible, I chose the „Optimal Master - Codec Only“ preset. For measuring the Digital Peak Level I used the 4U Meter, Fader & MS-Pan Plug-In by german company HOFA. The DAW used is Logic Pro X. The source material is 16 Bit and 44,1 kHz. If you want to now what all those fancy words mean, have a look at this article.

Furthermore I recommend reading and / or downloading the “Recommendations for Hi-Resolution Music Production” released in 2017 by the Producers & Engineers Wing of the Grammys. Which is not only a very helpful and well structured guideline for modern audio production but also a reference I will mention a few times.

After listening to the record you can tell the production is very loud, thick and direct. Looking at the waveform confirms what we’ve heard: Those are heavily compressed audio files with drastically increased loudness. Ok, it’s always possible to make it even louder and add more compression but the sound of „★“ is quite intense. The average loudness of „Lazarus“ is -8.0 LKFS which is -6.0 LU louder than the standard of -14.0 LKFS at Spotify and YouTube! This master is not only way too hot for streaming services but also for a CD in my opinion. Digital peaks are taken care of with a brick wall limiter at 0.0 dbFS but Inter-Sample Peaks reach up to 0.6 dbTP. And I’m asking myself again how a record like this could win a Grammy for „Best Engineered Album“…

My guess is the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences honors the work of David Bowie and this album in particular with this award, despite the sound quality. Don’t get me wrong, this record doesn’t sound bad at all, cause the production fits the vibe of the record like a glove. As previously mentioned, Bowie is reflecting a lot about his on death and mortality and therefore the lack of dynamic creates a very dense atmosphere and delivers the message directly to the listener. So the production - how „bad“ it may be - emphasis the musical and lyrical content and is therefore completely legit.

The beginning of „Lazarus“ leaves a lot of space for Kick, Snare and that sort of mono Guitar in the center of the mix before the Bass comes in and fills everything with it’s warm sounding low end. Bowie’s voice sits on top of the mix and sounds very direct and bright. Wind instruments are panned left and right but not to far though. There’s a certain effect during the verses that sounds like a stereo Guitar with a heavy Bitcrusher on it. Love it! If you listen closely, you can here very subtle layers of atmospheric synthesizers during the whole song which are glueing everything together and make this song whole. On of the last instruments you hear on „Lazarus“ is an electric Guitar on the far right in the stereo field with a super duper hard attack and some slapback echo on it.

PERSONAL IMPRESSION

I’m not a fan of the excessively loud and heavily compressed production style on „★“. Giving his love for experimentation, detail and experience, I was expecting a rather audiophile record, cause we are talking about David Bowie here! But for the following reasons I can understand why he chose this particular sound for the record:

Remember how I mentioned earlier Bowie and Visconti tried to „avoid Rock ’n’ Roll“ and said „To Pimp A Butterfly“ by Kendrick Lamar was a big influence while creating this record? So it’s not surprising at all you can hear how the Jazz found it’s way on the album. Yet every Jazz connoisseur would freak out if a record of this genre would be produced this way, so it makes perfect sense how „★“ sounds. As countless times before, Bowie is not meeting expectations and this is what makes him and his music so interesting.

Also the direct in-your-face sound emphasis the intimacy and honesty of the lyrics a lot, so honest it sometimes feels like he’s naked (metaphorically, not literally). This way you just can’t ignore the morbid and dark but sometimes hilarious and weird lyrics of him.

CONCLUSION

„★“ is a beautiful farewell gift to his fans but also to every listener of unconventional pop music with a strong Jazz influence. The production is very contemporary (loud and heavily compressed) and therefore creates a certain directness and intimacy between the listener and the music, which comes with a great CD and LP packaging by the way. Winning the Grammy for „Best Engineered Album“ though seems more like a gesture to honor the life and work of David Bowie rather than rewarding an completely audiophile recording.

[jezfletcher]

#2017MP - Top Tracks

I tend to focus on albums in my write-ups (and the term “write-ups” is used loosely this year), but in reality, the part of our music projects I’ve most enjoyed is finding those individual tracks that really kick. This tends to be how I listen to music—I rarely sit down to (re)listen to an album I’ve enjoyed, end-to-end, but I very frequently shuffle through my favourite tracks, nodding along as the intro to another favourite comes around.

To that end, I bring you my list of my top tracks of 2017. These are really where my true love lies.

At the end of the list, I’ve linked to two GPM playlists. The first is my Very Top Tracks playlist, which contains the songs in this list, my personal favourites, spanning everything from synthpop to regular pop (I kid, but not as much as you might think). The second playlist,  is a much more extended playlist, containing around 700 songs from this year that I enjoyed. This second playlist spans a much broader array of artists and genres, and will almost contain something that you’ll like. Yes you (mother).

Anyway, counting down from #112 to #1 of my Top Tracks:

112. Seaway - Day Player 111. The Safety Of Life At Sea - Take You Home 110. Nick Heyward - Love Is The Key By The Sea 109. Passenger - Simple Song 108. Moon Hooch - Sandstorm 107. Johnossi - On A Roll 106. Wesley Stace & The Jayhawks - The Wilderness Years 105. The Jungle Giants - On Your Way Down 104. Dent May - Across The Multiverse 103. Anastacia - Redlight 102. Ninja Sex Party - I Wish 101. Scandroid - Rendezvous 100. Jesca Hoop - Simon Says 99. Chris Robinson Brotherhood - Behold The Seer 98. Eliza Carthy & The Wayward Band - Fade & Fall (Love Not) 97. Right Said Fred - I Don’t Wanna Die Right Now 96. Silverstein - Aquamarine 95. Amadou & Mariam - Filaou Bessame 94. Ecca Vandal - Cassettes, Lies & Videotape 93. John Smith - Headlong 92. Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark - The Punishment Of Luxury 91. Authority Zero - Summer Sickness 90. Nigel Stanford - Talk To Your Lover 89. Nova Collective - The Further Side 88. Vazteria X - Flying Dutchman 87. Slow Dancer - Bitter 86. Mànran - Parallels 85. Manchester Orchestra - The Gold 84. The Charlatans - Not Forgotten 83. Less Than Jake - Bomb Drop 82. Langhorne Slim - Life Is Confusing 81. Alex Lahey - I Love You Like A Brother: 80. Sia - Ho Ho Ho 79. Hollywood Undead - Pray (Put Em In The Dirt) 78. PVRIS - Same Soul 77. Lady Antebellum - Think About You 76. Jett Rebel - All The Way 75. Sound of the Sirens - Together Alone 74. The War On Drugs - The Strangest Thing 73. Lindsey Buckingham & Christine McVie - Carnival Begin 72. Foster The People - Sit Next To Me 71. Charlotte Gainsbourg - Ring-A-Ring O’ Roses 70. The Whistles & The Bells - Small Time Criminals 69. dodie - Would You Be So Kind? 68. Baby Copperhead - Captain Noel 67. alt-J - In Cold Blood 66. PNAU - Into The Sky 65. Odesza - La Ciudad 64. Alison Moyet - Beautiful Gun 63. The Accidentals - Arizona Stars 62. Paramore - Caught In The Middle 61. Johnny Flynn - The Night My Piano Upped And Died 60. Alex Cameron - Country Figs 59. Conor Oberst - Tachycardia (2017 reworking) 58. Kitty, Daisy & Lewis - Slave 57. Ali Barter - Tokyo 56. Petrichor - As She Moves Slowly 55. Paloma Faith - The Architect 54. flor - guarded 53. The Infamous Stringdusters - Vertigo 52. Lydia Ainsworth - What Is It? 51. Aimee Mann - Knock It Off 50. The Bloody Beetroots - Kill Or Be Killed 49. Melody Moko - The Wreckage 48. The New Pornographers - Colosseums 47. Squeeze - Rough Ride 46. Enter Shikari - Rabble Rouser 45. Dropkick Murphys - Rebels With A Cause 44. The Creases - It’s Alright 43. Will Joseph Cook - Alive 42. Meklit - This Was Made Here 41. Beck - Colors 40. 3D Stas - Anger 39. Emily Saliers - Spider 38. Wolf Alice - Beautifully Unconventional 37. Wiley - Laptop 36. Sound of the Sirens - Smokescreen 35. The Go! Team - Semicircle Song 34. Confidence Man - Better Sit Down Boy 33. Poppy - I’m Poppy 32. Scarborough - Time Rolls On 31. Big Wreck - One Good Piece Of Me 30. Benjamin Clementine - Phantom Of Aleppoville 29. Liam Gallagher - Wall Of Glass 28. Portugal. The Man - Easy Tiger 27. Hippo Campus - Western Kids 26. Benny Nelson - Just Another Love Song 25. Woods - Bleeding Blue 24. All Our Exes Live In Texas - Candle 23. Hundred Waters - Wave To Anchor 22. Big Wreck - All My Fears On You 21. Paramore - Hard Times 20. Oh Wonder - High On Humans 19. Gabrielle Aplin - Waking Up Slow 18. Paramore - Rose-Colored Boy 17. New Politics - Color Green 16. Natalie Pearson - Strangers 15. The Family Crest - Sparks 14. Close Talker - Okay Hollywood 13. Perfume Genius - Otherside 12. The Family Crest - Mirror Love 11. Shaman Elephant - Shaman In The Woods 10. Little Big Town - Lost In California 9. Foxygen - Mrs. Adams 8. Jens Lekman - Wedding In Finistère 7. Wiley - Back With A Banger 6. Rubblebucket - Donna 5. MisterWives - Coloring Outside The Lines 4. Matthew E. White & Flo Morrissey - Look At What The Light Did Now 3. Sugarbag Blonde - Crows Hollow 2. Paul Heaton & Jacqui Abbott - People Like Us 1. MisterWives - Machine

Seriously, check out Machine. I defy anyone not to have a great time with it.

If you want to have a listen (and have a GPM account) check out the following playlists:

My Favourite Tracks of #2017MP (112 tracks)

My Favourite Tracks + MORE of #2017MP (691 tracks)

[universallytravelerparadise-blog]

Beethoven Maennerchor Halle und Garden, 422 Pereida St. The spot, a repeat winner of the Express News Readers' Choice Award for best sports bar in the city, packs 'em in during Cowboys and Spurs games with its TVs (10 big screens and 11 32 inch screens), picnic table seating and hot wings. MoreThe Flying Saucer is a shrine to beer and beer drinkers.

Cheap Jerseys from china As Becks tells us himself: not scared of my feminine side and I think quite a lot of the things I do come from that side of my character. People have pointed that out as if it a criticism, but it doesn bother me. It as if when he was a teenager he looked at those grainy black and white girlish bedroom shrine posters of smooth skinned doe ish male models holding babies and thought: I like to be like that when I grow up. Cheap Jerseys from china wholesale jerseys When we started filming Housewives so long ago, Al made me promise him one thing. He said, 'Just be yourself and have fun with it.' I've always prided myself on giving you the truth of who I really am, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Over the past few years my outlook on the show has changed from something I couldn't wait to show my future grandchildren to something I hope my future grandchildren never see. wholesale jerseys They are made with high quality soy protein isolate and are free of artificial ingredients, sugar alcohols and common allergens. Mom's Team website gave the chocolate brownie variety an "A+" for nutrition, flavor and overall quality. One bar provides 220 calories, 18 grams of protein, 6 grams of fat (1 grams saturated) and 24 grams of carbohydrates (15 grams of sugar or 3.75 teaspoons and 3 grams of dietary fiber). cheap nfl jerseys Green man Men are more likely to suffer from deuteranomaly because the gene responsible for making the 'green' pigment is found on the X chromosome, and is also recessive. Very few women suffer from the condition because they have two X chromosomes and so are likely to have a normal copy of the gene, which overrides the effect of the recessive mutant. But because men only have one X chromosome, a single mutation is enough to produce the condition.. cheap nfl jerseys cheap nfl jerseys Most RTDs are priced exorbitantly and this is a stumbling block in semi urban markets. Out here, beer is the universal drink of acceptance for the light drinker, as it gives you right volume at the right price. In He tired of hiding and he ready to be happy. He never been a happy person, but he ready to try and maybe this is the first step? They all meet at the HAUS first. He shows up in gay pride flag/colors. Dave wore his Sabres jersey; I wore my Canadiens; Judy, Team Canada. Many others wore the jerseys of their local teams Domain Kernels, Domain Pitura Seed, Domain Generals, Macdonald Lightning, Oak Bluff Bulls, Sanford Sabres. They came from nearby villages and hamlets LaSalle, Sanford, Brunkild, Oak Bluff, Starbuck, Osborne, Ste. will need to crack the pricing issue vis a vis beer as its direct point of competition.. cheap nfl jerseys Cheap Jerseys free shipping "It's good to be home and we're really excited," said Gatland by way of his opening remarks. " The All Stars went down early after Arsenal scored off a penalty in the 12th minute, but Drogba equalized during first half stoppage time. The 6 foot 2, 38 year old former captain of the Ivory Coast national team rebounded his own miss to make it 1 1 heading into the locker room. The former Chelsea striker and current forward beat Czech goalkeeper Cech and three Arsenal defenders.. that Auckland turned the weather on for us as well. The boys have had a good trip and we're really looking forward to what we know is going to be an incredibly tough challenge.". Cheap Jerseys free shipping wholesale nfl jerseys from china Where I walked. It where I ran. It where I cried. The crowd was all over Chris Neil, who early in the day was told he become Public Enemy No. 1 in New York. They have me as that, then I doing my job, he said. The surprising Toronto Raptors are the NBA's wildlings storming down from beyond a northern border. With general manager Masai Ujiri in the role of Mance Rayder, the Raptors managed to win the Atlantic Division away from the Boston Celtics and New York Knicks with a 48 34 record. Nobody expects the No. wholesale nfl jerseys from china Cheap Jerseys from china Jayasimha said that activists think there has been a drop in attendance in the festival this year over five years ago, when an estimated five million people attended. Jayasimha said he thought border control efforts and public awareness campaigns in Nepal and India may have been having some effect. Yet the festival remains a public health concern.. Cheap Jerseys from china Cheap Jerseys from china Feb. 21, 2015, at Husson University, 1 College Circle. 659 8027. Along with Tripucka No. 18 banner, the Broncos will include the name of Manning with the mention he wore that number from the 2012 15 season. Tripucka, the fifth of Frank Tripucka seven children, said of including Manning with his father No. Cheap Jerseys from china wholesale jerseys from china The company is looking to build the offshore wind power plant off the Tillamook County coast in Oregon, and has already signed an agreement with the Tillamook Intergovernmental Development Agency. Principal Power will still need to through the process to secure permits, but will likely hold off until a buyer is found for the electricity produced from the offshore wind power farm. It is likely that a local utility would sign up to buy the resulting electricity produced wholesale jerseys from china.

[peacefulwriter88]

Timezone reblog

Siren

Chris Beck x Curvy, WoC OC

Warnings: M for Mature (SMUT, Language)

A/N: So this is for my K, @geminimoonbeamx who has me obsessed of exploring Chris Beck as not our soft space boi but a deceitful soft cheating man. Because it’s been interesting to extract. And I miss writing OCs and I love the unique qualities you can bring to each one. Hope you enjoy

She is strawberries and champagne.

Swirls of rose and gold that bubble up to the surface of delicate glass, the whispered promise of a forbidden taste.  

She is the ocean.

Expansive and deceivingly calm, dangerously enticing until waves his rocky shores.

It’s what he thinks as he takes her in. She’s come in early, far earlier than most of the staff on campus. The sun is barely rising, peaking through the dark clouds of grey that will eventually sift away to a beautiful late summer day. She hadn’t spoken a word to him when she walked in, her surprise wearing on those big, round doe eyes that he could always drink in. If he had looked longer, focused the small beam of light on his desk on that cheeky face of hers, he’d see just the faintest hint of moss dancing in those coffee saucers. Instead he smiles hello and returns to reading the thick book that is going to outline the next class he’ll be teaching later on that day.

She finds her place across from him, quiet as she pulls out her things from her bag. She’s been his TA for a semester now and knows that his mornings are valuable, that he’s thoughts were more concise before the rest of the world wakes up. She takes comfort in his presence, had learned that it was best to prep alongside him to follow his normally erratic stream of thought and settles at her desk in silence, her plump lips stuck between the wedge of her tongue and teeth, trying to brainstorm the best way to explain the intricacies of his mind in a more tangible language for students.

They only both last thirty minutes.

Keep reading

[trvepeak-blog]

[Grammy Special] Mix Analysis #6 “That’s What I Like” by Bruno Mars

FOREWORD

This is part one of my Grammy Special where I will do a mix analysis of track from a record awarded for „Best Engineered Album“. We will start in 2018, going back all the way to 2010. Here’s the full list:

2018 - “24k Magic” by Bruno Mars 2017 - “Blackstar” by David Bowie 2016 - “Sound & Color” by Alabama Shakes 2015 - “Morning Phase” by Beck 2014 - “Random Access Memories” by Daft Punk 2013 - “The Goat Rodeo Sessions” by Yo-Yo Ma, Stuart Duncan, Edgar Meyer & Chris Thile 2012 - “Paper Airplane” by Alison Krauss & Union Station 2011 - “Battle Studies” by John Mayer 2010 - “Ellipse” by Imogen Heap

Every now and then I will refer to “Recommendations for Hi-Resolution Music Production” by the Producers & Engineers Wing of the Grammys cause there are a few discrepancies between this document and the awarded recording. After all the name suggests that only flawless audio recordings can win in this category but in my personal opinion only one of ten records deserves this trophy.

I will also provide more information and pictures from now on, as I felt that previous articles were lacking depth and justing scratching the surface. Therefore you will also find specific information about release date, duration, a music video (if available), record label as well as more pictures.

In this article I will analyze the mix of Bruno Mars’ „That’s What I Like“ off of his album „24k Magic“. Among „Best Engineered Album“ it also won in the categories “Record Of The Year”, “Album Of The Year”, “Song Of The Year”, “Best R&B Performance”, “Best R&B Song” and “Best R&B Album”.

The difference between „Album Of The Year“ and „Record Of The Year“ wasn’t very clear to me to begin with but after a closer look I found out that the latter is about a single song. Then again, why is there a category called „Song Of The Year“? Different category, same content, right…? This won’t be last contradiction I discovered during my research.

HARD FACTS

Record Label: Atlantic Records

Year of Release: 2016

Duration: 03 m 27 s

PSR: ~ 11.0 (lowest) ~ 8.0 (highest)

Average Loudness: -9.1 LKFS

Inter-Sample Peaks: 1.3 dBTP (left) 0.8 dBTP (right)

Digital Peak: -0.0 dBFS (left) -0.0 dBFS (right)

Mixing Engineer:  Serban Ghenea at MixStar Studios

Mastering Engineer: Tom Coyne at Sterling Sound

For measuring the PLR, Average Loudness and Inter-Sample Peaks I used MasterCheck Pro by british company Nugen Audio. To keep it as neutral and simple as possible, I chose the „Optimal Master - Codec Only“ preset. For measuring the Digital Peak Level I used the 4U Meter, Fader & MS-Pan Plug-In by german company HOFA. The DAW used is Logic Pro X. The source material is 16 Bit and 44,1 kHz. If you want to now what all those fancy words mean, have a look at this article.

Furthermore I recommend reading and / or downloading the “Recommendations for Hi-Resolution Music Production” released in 2017 by the Producers & Engineers Wing of the Grammys. Which is not only a very helpful and well structured guideline for modern audio production but also a reference I will mention a few times.

As you can tell by the waveform, Sterling Sound pushed the loudness of the audio material quite a bit without sacrificing to much of the dynamic and transients. If you would zoom in you could see that actually a lot of it is still intact. It also has that certain „snap“ you can only hear when the signal is not completely squashed and over-compressed. Yet the average loudness is at -9.1 LKFS which I would consider a „hot“ master. If this would be played back through Spotify or YouTube the overall loudness would be lowered by -4.9 LU to match their peak at -14.0 LKFS, which is a shame cause this brilliant sounding mix / master doesn’t need to be this loud.

There are no Digital Peaks occurring but Inter-Sample Peaks reach up to 1.3 dbTP! And we’re talking about a record that was awarded „Best Engineered Album“ and mastered at one of the world’s most renowned Studios. It’s even more baffling considering the fact that page 24 of “Recommendations for Hi-Resolution Music Production” tells us how to avoid errors, clipping, and distortion during internal digital signal processing.

This raises the question if it’s really about a flawless, stellar sounding record from a technical point of view or actually about rewarding the most popular artist for being the most popular artist. Vice versa this would create a lot more attention for the Grammys, so both sides win, am I right?

Back to the hard facts: The bass frequencies are pushed pretty good but without sounding boomy, it’s more like a nice, warm blanket of bass covering your ear drums. There’s a small but very wide dip in the mid frequency range and the high end has been boosted very gentle. It doesn’t sound harsh or bright, more like silk. The compression makes everything sound very thick and in your face but therefore sacrificing some dynamic. The music in general is very percussive, even melodic instruments like the synthesizers are emphasizing the drums, which makes every song on „24k Magic“ danceable! The overall sound is very clean (not steril), clear, punchy and is just what you would expect from a Bruno Mars record.

PERSONAL IMPRESSION

If you didn’t grow up in the 90s (unlike me) or don’t like the music coming from that era, you’re probably not gonna like this record. If one of those two things apply to you, you’re in for a great 34 minute trip through nostalgia land! Clearly inspired by the sound of Michael Jackson’s „Dangerous“, Bruno Mars also pays tribute to his funk roots with his own impersonation of James Brown in „Perm“. The icing of the cake are the best sounds of 80s synthesizers and vocoders you can imagine.

Thematically „24k Magic“ is also using classic structures of this era: Starting with the uplifting party / happy songs, slowing down with some ballads worshipping women, gaining some tempo again with faster tracks and closing the whole thing with a ballad. This record is full of great harmonies and hook lines that’ll be stuck in your head for days! Besides „Best Engineered Album“, every other Grammy is well deserved in my opinion.

CONCLUSION

„24k Magic“ is a great album celebrating the sound of the 90s with huge influences coming from the 80s and adds a little funk of the 60s / 70s here and there. Regarding sound it’s more of a contemporary record, especially when it comes to unnecessary loudness and compression (which can be heard sometimes). Would be interesting to know if this was a conscious decision by Tom Coyne or if Atlantic Records and / or Bruno Mars pushed him to increase loudness.

[peacefulwriter88]

Siren

Chris Beck x Curvy, WoC OC

Warnings: M for Mature (SMUT, Language)

A/N: So this is for my K, @geminimoonbeamx who has me obsessed of exploring Chris Beck as not our soft space boi but a deceitful soft cheating man. Because it’s been interesting to extract. And I miss writing OCs and I love the unique qualities you can bring to each one. Hope you enjoy

She is strawberries and champagne.

Swirls of rose and gold that bubble up to the surface of delicate glass, the whispered promise of a forbidden taste.  

She is the ocean.

Expansive and deceivingly calm, dangerously enticing until waves his rocky shores.

It’s what he thinks as he takes her in. She’s come in early, far earlier than most of the staff on campus. The sun is barely rising, peaking through the dark clouds of grey that will eventually sift away to a beautiful late summer day. She hadn’t spoken a word to him when she walked in, her surprise wearing on those big, round doe eyes that he could always drink in. If he had looked longer, focused the small beam of light on his desk on that cheeky face of hers, he’d see just the faintest hint of moss dancing in those coffee saucers. Instead he smiles hello and returns to reading the thick book that is going to outline the next class he’ll be teaching later on that day.

She finds her place across from him, quiet as she pulls out her things from her bag. She’s been his TA for a semester now and knows that his mornings are valuable, that he’s thoughts were more concise before the rest of the world wakes up. She takes comfort in his presence, had learned that it was best to prep alongside him to follow his normally erratic stream of thought and settles at her desk in silence, her plump lips stuck between the wedge of her tongue and teeth, trying to brainstorm the best way to explain the intricacies of his mind in a more tangible language for students.

They only both last thirty minutes.

Then he realizes he’s bored. That he doesn’t care about the inky words on the page, no, he’s too distracted by her. Her scent has infiltrated the space, sweet and sugary and intoxicating. She’s humming to herself, her REM stage of learning he likes to tease her, that moment when’s she fully saturated in the task at hand. Her plump hand cradles her chin while the other occasionally turns the page, taking notes when she finds appropriate. She has the thickest hair, tawny waves that blend with black and end in blonde ombre. A look that he’d normally not give two thoughts of for anyone else but on her looks sinfully appetizing. She shifts, stretches back a bit and the deep tissue of her breast pour out of the barely legal sweater that she’s wearing.

Fuck.

She knows his eyes are on her, can feel the weight of them as she tries to focus on the task at hand. They were going to have their office hours this morning, in an hour, it’s why she came early. That’s what she tells herself. To equip herself with answers for the mindless questions students will ask despite only taken three classes. She didn’t come in because she likes this feeling, of Chris Beck’s eyes on her body, drinking her in, fucking her so openly and deliberately her panties were also squelching with desire.

No that wasn’t the case.

“Kaira,” his voice is low and soft, it’s gravely and commanding and it takes her off guard as she pops up in surprise. He’s smiling at her, knowingly, mischief dancing behind his beautiful indigo eyes. “I meant to ask you - how did your date go?”

He doesn’t really care about her date – not really – doesn’t care about the dumb fuck boy that probably will disappoint her in the end because men her age couldn’t appreciate her beauty and intelligence for what it was. No, he just wants to hear her voice, that high feminine pitch as she blushes and looks away in shame.

“It was fine…..he was nice. A bit boring.”

She doesn’t say anymore, her thick long eyelashes casting back down as she returns her eyes to the book. But he’s already hooked, he didn’t care about what he was going to teach next class or that at any time someone could walk in on them. Instead he’s pushing back his chair, watching the way her chest rises faster at the high screeching nose, her eyes still militant on the words on the page.

“A bit boring eh? What made him boring?”

He walks around his desk, slowly, his voice echoing in the tight quarters of the old office as he watches her. She’s finally lifted those cat like eyes of hers and from this angle he can see that she’s worn those tight leggings that painted over her thick, chubby thighs and he feels his cock twitch.

Kaira, meanwhile, is looking for words to say. Why was he invested? He had never been invested in her like this. Not asking her about her personal endeavors – no their conversations were always light and brief and playful. The boundary they’ve built up to save them from their feelings. She likes it though, this new tingling feeling in her gut. It feels intimate and dangerous but comforting, that feeling that washed over her when he showed concerned and delicate care.  

She whispers a lie to herself.

Perhaps this time was different.

“He’s just…not smart. Not really, not even witty. He’s just there and he likes such boring things and....it was just a terrible time. Much rather would have been at home on my couch working and watching Netflix then at the super cheap dive bar that he couldn’t even afford.”

She looks up to him, looking for some kind of approval and he smiles at her. Slowly and wickedly. He liked her like this, when she tamed the quiet, fiery parts of herself and became a tame lioness, his kitten. He missed this, the back and forth play of being with someone who so desperately cared about him and the ambiguous knowledge of not knowing if they felt the same.

“Poor kitten,” velvet and smooth syllables deliver themselves to her ear, “You are so much more than a cheap dive bar date.”

She wants to keen out loud because she knew! She knew she was more than that but it was nice to hear it from someone else – to hear it from him. His arms are crossed over his chest, muscle peeping out under the cotton of his shirt. His sleeves are rolled up, barely 7:30 a.m. and his demeanor screams exhaustion, and the color picks up the hues of silver in his eyes. His hair is a wispy uncontrolled palette of curls, plump lips wet from his tongue licking them so often. Watches her with dangerous, demanding eyes.

“Come here Kaira. The least you deserve is a hug after such a terrible evening.”

She tries to break out of it, his spell, tries to focus on the work she needs to accomplish. He waits patiently, focuses on the birds chirping outside of the window he opened an hour past. Knows that if she was going to do anything, it had to be on her terms. Unaware of the internal war she is having within herself, the teeter totter of choosing confidence in herself or the insecurity of being in his arms. She lasts three minutes before her blatant insecurity wins, desire and curiosity the rose color fuel to why she’s really going to give into the hug. Not the knowledge that she felt like she needed his reassurance – that somehow this handsome god was giving her the attention she so desperately needed. She rises slowly, eyeing him with uncertainty as her eyes flit over to the gold band that’s caught the early morning rays, the fake symbolism of the pure mineral in which bonded his lies together.

He is watching her curiously, watches as her plump body carries her closer to him. She’s far shorter than him, his kitten, but it looks good on her. Just like the way her skin pops, the colors reminding him of the shade of paint that Beth had pointed out to him at Home Depot. He didn’t fucking care at the time what the hell they painted the bathroom but now he’s grateful he was berated until listening, that he could find the words papaya and sand to capture the smoothness of her skin.

“Come ‘er….” His voice is lower as he draws her to him, his itching fingers finally able to find satisfaction in the plumpness of her, loving that despite all the time he’s sure she’s spent on her hair that he can still see tawny, kinky curls explode at the root, betraying part of her origin. He’s full on drugged by now, by the way she feels, the way her throat whimpers as she nuzzles into his chest, wrapping her short thick arms around him, her scent infiltrating him, cocoa butter and vanilla and musk all wrapped in one. He allows her to settle in his arms, to get comfortable before he pulls away, watching her carefully as she looks at him. His cock is rock hard, feels like a goddamn weight in his briefs and he thrusts his hips into her, hitting the softness of her belly and she keens as she leans up on her tip toes.

Then it’s all a dominance game.

He’s never gentle with her, not when their carnal urges win over. He allows her soft lips to brush against his chapped ones, his kisses chaste and rough as she tenderly pushes her tongue into his mouth. She wants to savor this moment, wants to get her fingers lost in the curly strands of his hair that caress the back of his neck, to savor the way his mouth tastes like bitter espresso with a bite of mint, the freshness of his cologne.

Instead she is left with his rough hands, the way his teeth scrap against her delicate skin as he forces her to turn around, pushing her against the desk. He’s surprisingly strong for his lean stature, and bending her over with ease as she grasps at the edge of the old, worn wood. His hands are coarse against the delicate tissue of her fatty thighs as he tears her leggings down, pooling around her legs as his hands smooth over her bottom.

“This ass…..damn I jerk off to the beauty of it…” he’s grumbling to himself before he’s tugging those down, soft cotton revealing the way her pussy is dripping and he groans as she hears the tinkle of his belt buckle, the soft thump of his pants as they follow in a mess on top of her own.

He wants to tease her, wants to eat her out from behind and hear those beautiful sounds she makes, but it’s too close to eight, to the time most people might be trickling into the old building and she’s a loud lover. The windows cracked, he’s reminded as cool air wafts in and his cock trails up her wet folds causing her to keen, sticking her ass higher in the air.

He’s quick, his thick cock sliding in with ease into her soft, feathery walls, fluttering around him and causing him to groan as he falls on top of her, the weight taking her off guard. She’s always so fucking tight, doesn’t make sense how much it feels like she’s already squeezing him dry and he relishes her youthfulness, that her cunt will always be this refreshingly slick as he slowly pushes his way into her.

“My god kitten, you’re so perfect. And it’s all just for me.”

Hips are involuntarily moving against hers and she mewls, throwing her weight down on him as she squeezes him tighter and he gasps, head falling into the delicate strands of her hair as he inhales her, pulling out only to dominate her again.

And then he loses it.

He’s consumed by dominating her, by taking control over the way she eagerly widens her legs, seeking some sort of relief as he takes over, fingers biting into her love handles, leaving deep plum and black marks that haven’t healed from the last time, the tender flesh adding to the exhilaration of the  moment.

And damn if it isn’t exhilarating.

There’s the sound of students slowly making their way on campus, the soft sounds of footsteps outside of the door. The low sounds of his colleagues talking about shit that doesn’t really matter, not really, living in the safe bubble of their lives. He wondered if any of them pursued their pleasures, found solace to the mundanity of the day to day by fucking their TA’s or students or whoever doggy style over their desk. To allow the sweet musk of their bodies mingle with the dangerous absurdity of the moment, to find relief in the expectation and to fall into the desire.

When he was with Kaira he was alive, he wasn’t a father who drove his d to daycare and his daughter to soccer practice and went to neighborhood bbq’s and talked about the new technology to a group of men who were similarly bored while their wives gossiped in a room not far from where they stood. No, when he was with her he was young, his curiosity was still alive and the rose colored glasses of youth still lived on his eyes, he could be what he wanted and do what he wanted and fuck who he wanted because he had no constraints.

She made him feel alive.

Kaira, on the other hand, misunderstands his aggression for tenderness, that he can find comfort in the safety of her arms. That when he fucked her like this, quick and aggressive, their skins slapping against each other on the old, worn walls that knew of their secrets, that he cared about her. That he looked past her weight and her skin color and she wasn’t just the pretty fat girl who might be black but could be white and was cute enough to fuck but she was his kitten – his smart, funny beautiful TA who he could bitch about how unhappy he was in his life.

And she realized, in that moment, how much he loved her.

He’s needy this morning, one of his hands finding the delicate bud of her center, teasing it slowly as her knee’s buckle, give in underneath her. She is pawing at the desk, at the empty papers and the wood that will later give her raw blisters, trying to contain her voice but unable to stop the low whine that escapes out of her as she cums around his dominant cock and his fingers, her wetness slowly sliding down her legs. He is dazzled, always because she’s just so wet and when she cums it’s marvelous, he already knows how her face contorts as she whimpers out his name shakily and he feels that pit in his stomach, his balls drawing up as she squeezes him tighter, amazed that she has the capacity to do this. Then he’s milking her, pulling out the millions threads of life and the possibility of their future, taking it all from him, ignoring how she’ll have to run and get a Plan B because even though she’s on the pill there’s still that one percent chance and once again he’d forgotten to use a condom.

Doesn’t matter, not when she’s wrapped in his arms safely, relishing the feel of him over her, whispering in her ear how wonderful she is, how beautiful, phenomenal.

But he doesn’t say the eight letters her heart aches for.

“You always know how to keep me satisfied kitten.” He finally pulls away when his heart stops thumping so loud it echoes in his ears. It’s sloppy, his limp dick sliding out of her overly sensitive walls, spilling out the remnants of their lovemaking. His voice no longer feral but gentle, caring, the bite gone to it.

“Are you ok?” he asks, watching as she slowly sit up, grabbing a handful of tissues off his desk to begin cleaning herself.

“I’m fine.” Her voice has that faraway tinge to it and he mistakes it for satisfaction. Kaira meanwhile is biting back her tears as she slowly wipes off the thick, sticky goop from her legs, throwing it away in the trash.

“I’d love to find time to treat you kitten. Maybe we can go to that nice little place we went to a few weeks back. Review some of your notes, talk through some opportunities for you to connect with Mark on some of the research you’ve done. I’m sure I can even convince Beth I have to go out of town and we can get ourselves a nice little air bnb…..”

He looks over at her and she nods timidly as she clears her throat. Grasps for words,

“Maybe,” she starts. “Maybe we can go to Trinity Inn. It’s a cute little bnb and they have a really delicious pot pie and I know how that’s your favorite….”

She tries to ignore the way his movements freeze, frigid, like a deer posed on a freeway in the dark of night before his eyes soften, the quick edginess disappearing as quickly as it comes.

“You know I can’t do that kitten. We can’t be seen in town like that. We could get caught and I don’t want you in the crossfire of Beth….”

He’s trying to navigate this, trying to understand where this is coming from. She had never bought this up before, wanting more out of him, more public and he wonders if this is a sign that it needs to end. He doesn’t need a frenzied lover. Doesn’t need to lose a good TA.

Kaira was just fun. The right and opportune moment, the definition of her name, that life had presented for him at the right time. She made him laugh and was insightful and made him realize how miserable he was in his life. That Beth had been fun to date when he was in space, but once he had touched terra firm de earth he had wanted to continue on with his life. Not feel obligated when she called him up three months later about the news to enter down the lane of love. Beth was fun but hadn’t been his type. Was intelligent sure but sex with her was boring, would probably continue to be boring. What she planned for them to do on their free time was boring. She was boring. Cookie cutter perfect and boring.

Kaira brought an edge. Sure she was the mixed fat girl, that’s what the dumb insecure men on the campus liked to tease behind her back, but she was beautiful. He liked that her edges were softer. Liked that she was willing to explore her sexuality through the trust of him, that she was willing to submit to his will for their pleasure. Liked the fun jokes she’d occasional text him or the delicious cookies she’d bake him or that she was the one, if he could swing it ever rarely, to do childish things like haunted houses that made her scream and jump in his arms or rafting. He liked the thrill of adventure that she bought and her company made it worthy.

But not if she was starting to get attached. To cling.

Sure he enjoyed his time with her.

He didn’t love her though.

“Right….Beth…”

Realization sinking in, again, her friends words screaming in her ear. ‘He doesn’t love you K! You’re just a good lay!’ and no that couldn’t be true she’d defend. Beck was kind, funny, caring. He wasn’t using her, just waiting for the right moment to leave his wife….

Like he’d been saying for six months.

“That diner outside of town. We can even do something fun and ridiculous. Like apple picking…..” his voice has lost its care and she snorts, shaking her head.

“I’m not trying to find a Hallmark moment with you Beck just wanted something new,” she can’t let him see her weakness. “Let’s go paint balling instead.”

He can’t imagine Kaira actually paint balling, her delicate skin that bruised so easily, even when they simply made love being tainted by artificial hands but he smiles, relieved, because of course she didn’t want more.

That just wouldn’t be who she was.

He finds his spot back behind his desk, his fingers picking up his book and referencing this week lesson on the screen. She ignores the way the silence falls on them, heavy on her end but light on his, the way he hadn’t really said anything but made sure to know that he wasn’t trying to change anything anytime soon.

Not yet.

He wasn’t ready yet.

It’s the lie she tells herself until there are no more classes, or dinners or texts.

When the siren song finally wanes out and she’s left with the low, sobbing ache in her heart.

Tag List: @Sad-af1121, @whichwayisthebeach-Sebass, @theplumbclub79, @4theluvofall, @tatathekissypatato, @baezen, @lostinthoughtsandfeelings-blog, @plumbfondler, @pegasusdragontiger, @prettybubblesintheair, @docharleythegeekqueen, @brieannakeogh, @palaiasaurus64, @emotchalla, @thejenniferincident, @shayla-markele, @supernovasandcoronas,  @toastmaster94, @brandybucky, @papi-chulo-seb, @jaamesbbarnes, @paulxrudd, @badassbaker, @letsalltakeanap @papi-chulo-bucky, @moonbeambucky, @jaceyfade, @samingtonwilson, @violentlybarnes, @wehaveathor, @buckfics, @frostbitebakery,  @killmongerdreams, @plussizeappreciationfics, @softlybarnes, @prettyyoungtragedy, @angryschnauzer,  @221bshrlocked,  @yslbucky @zohoffman @ssweet-empowerment@capsofwinchesters@tacohead13@harleycativy@pietrotheavenger@francezka10@papichulosebastian@obsessionsofmynerdheart@melaninmarvel@avengedqueen26@nasteaxluvgal@winterbuttmunch@nys30@buckyslongasshair@ohlumi @wellthirsted

[peacefulwriter88]

Timezone reblog

Eurydice & Orpheus

Chris Beck X OC WoC Adria Devereaux

Warnings: SMUT and angsty af, cheating

A/N: I don’t know, @geminimoonbeamx got me all fucked up thinking about Chris Beck and this particular prompt (like all inspo credit goes to her lol) and I’ve been wanting to write an OC for a while so this is me doing it! Enjoy lol

His scent is intoxicating. It takes over the space of her small apartment, permeates more than the sheets that she had washed two times to ensure the scent would go away. Instead it wafts in the air, sticks to her skin, clings to her mind and she has to open a window to get it to go away.

She allows herself to stand there, looking out of the window. Into the busy streets of Boston, watching mindlessly as people with different agendas, careers, families walk by and she wonders if she can join them, to escape the situation she’s allowed herself in.

Not again.

It’s what her heart echoes out, yells at her with a steady beat, a song trying to break her of his spell. And she almost listens, almost doesn’t cav.

But then his voice is closer.

Keep reading

[peacefulwriter88]

Timezone reblog

Belong To You

Chris Beck x PoC One Shot

Chris Beck, you decided was the worst. You were going to cut off his legs and watch him slowly bleed to death. No, you were going to chop off his dick. No, you were going to chop of his dick and his arms so he didn’t have the ability to doodle his stupid equations all over random pads of paper in your shared apartment.

You thought this as you pushed yourself out of the restaurant, into the busy chaos of the Brooklyn sidewalk, the humidity hitting you with a ferocity in the waning twilight.

You heard your name but you tried to ignore it, ignore him as you walked out toward the streets edge, the traffic hurling past you and causing the remnants of the north wind to tighten your jacket closer to you. You could just leave him. You’d only been dating him for two years – it couldn’t hurt. You were young enough you could wrangle some guy to love you as much as he did, knock you up with some kiddos and live a picture perfect life.

As you turned, taking in his tall frame as he tried to navigate clumsily past waiters, the hostess, you knew you couldn’t do any of that.

You loved Chris Beck. Your heart belonged to him.

Keep reading