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mingtiddies · 3 years ago

Text

broken hearts and last goodbyes

member: mingyu

genre: it’s cute, and then it’s just pain, angst

word count: 3627

warnings: none that i can think of

a/n: my god everyone! hi!!! i’m not gonna get into a rant about being overwhelmed (yet again) by life and also not knowing how and what to write.. luckily for us!! i’m finally here (if anyone still even reads my stuff).. i do however wanna say, the story behind this fic. ha! so I started writing it in march 2019. two whole ass years ago???? almost three??? and it’s somewhat inspired by the ever-close-to-my-heart close proximity (you need to read this my friends); which is funny to me because the two aren’t even close to being similar? but yeah, heartbreak was on my mind and ‘i decided let’s do this’ so thank you lex @chilligyu for inspiring to start this fic, even though i managed to finish it only recently

Mingyu had never truly been nervous about anything in his relationship. The company had approved of you with no problem, not that the contrary would’ve changed anything for him. All twelve members had grown fond of you in the span of a month.

And he never had to worry about his parents, for the sole reason that he hadn’t planned on introducing you to his parents, unless your relationship had gotten serious, serious.

It was thirteen months into the relationship that he decided, and got the chance, to mention to his parents that he was seeing someone. His younger sister teased him for it, and his parents were surprised to say the least. He would have told them a little earlier had he had the time. But the poor boy and his group were going left and right, and up and down the south korean map for shoots, promotion, concerts, music shows, practice and solo schedules.

He had assured his parents that he hadn’t kept it from them for so long on purpose, and they had believed their son. The amount of questions about his girlfriend he had gotten that day had been, to his surprise, rather limited. However, what he had expected from his parents, had been to ask questions about your professional and educational background.

He hadn’t thought much of it then. He trusted that they would judge you based on how good of a person you were, on how much the both of you cared for each other. And so it was with that strong belief in his parents’ sense of judgment that he invited you to a day in his hometown, at his parents’ house. The boy took pride in bringing you home, and he happily told his members, his best friends, that he was finally taking you home to his parents.

You were supposed to go to Anyang on a weekend where Mingyu would have free time and ended up having to go in the middle of the week. It had always been more about when the company would allow the group a few days of rest rather than having the weekend free.

And with that, you packed a bag and waited for him to pick you up, before driving to his hometown. That morning, you left for Anyang with your best person by your side and all of your worries left behind in Seoul.

Mingyu had never truly been nervous about anything in his relationship with you. He had no doubts about how much you meant to each other. He loved you more than anything, and you were deeply in love with him. He knew deep inside his heart that you would have his parents wrapped around your pinky in no time.

And he was absolutely right, because not only had they welcomed you with open arms the second they had laid eyes on you, but they had also looked at you like you held the secret ingredient to their family’s happiness.

Mingyu’s mother cooed at how pretty and small you were. His father lovingly mumbled about how well-mannered you were. And Mingyu’s chest warmed up with pride and happiness.

Mingyu was the type of son that took care of his parents whenever he could. If he could come home for even just a few hours to let his mother see his face and assure her that he was doing good, he would. You knew that. So it was no surprise when it naturally came to him to be the first one up to start preparing dinner. It didn’t hurt that he was also a decent cook.

Your conditioned response to seeing Mingyu heading towards the kitchen kicked in. You had helped the boy so many times around the kitchen to assist him in cooking meals for fourteen people, or just the two of you. It had become instinctive to get up and follow him. His parents were confused at first. But the more they watched you, the more ashamed they felt about thinking that you might not have been genuine.

You stood by his side, handing him everything he needed, and he thanked you with the brightest smile. He tried to pat your head but you swatted it away. “No, you’re gonna be touching food,” you told him, laughing. You urged him to be more serious but he cooed at you, trying to pull you closer for a kiss. You pushed his face away, amused by how he pretended to be annoying.

Mingyu knew that his parents were watching you; you did not.

Once the day was over, Mingyu took it upon himself to drive you both back to Seoul despite being tired, in order to have his second day off at home. His parents sent you off with a few side dishes made exclusively for you so you could feed him whenever he would come over to yours.

Mingyu wondered why he kept answering his phone when his mother called him now. She would give him an earful about you and how cute and adorable you were. And even though he could live without his mother going into raptures, there was nothing that could make him happier than his family accepting you so quickly and easily.

And so the next time he went home on his own, part of him broke at the things he could hear his parents say. He didn’t know, didn’t understand, how they had found out. But they now knew that you came from your average family, if not slightly poorer, and that you neither went to university, nor had a stable job.

In the first few seconds of the discussion, where he listened more than he was allowed to talk, he was still hopeful. He was okay when they mentioned how honorable it was that you worked so hard for yourself. He was also okay when they said that your ambition was an amazing quality in a world where your family’s status mattered more than anything.

Talks about how you would never be able to support a family with such a low paying job was where he drew the line.

Coincidentally, before he had managed to get a word in, his father started saying he hoped that his son wasn’t too serious about this relationship. Mingyu loved his parents; he adored them. He put himself in their shoes and he understood why they’d prefer their oldest son to be involved with a girl who was well off.

But he understood that times were changing, and it didn’t matter in the least to him that his girlfriend worked part-time at two different convenience stores instead of going to school.

He left home, irritated to no end. And he couldn’t let his parents know that he was irritated. When the members saw him in the kitchen preparing dinner without asking anyone for a little help, they suspected it had something to do with all the door slamming that had been occurring since he had come home. The five boys in the dorm didn’t ask, and Mingyu didn’t tell them.

Mingyu tried to pretend everything was fine and even managed to fool you to some extent. He tried to bring you to his parents again to quietly convince them that there was no one better for him, but at the same time he tried to keep you away from Anyang. His efforts were in vain; he felt defeated.

Fortunately for the boys that didn’t know what to do, they’d never really seen Mingyu this aggravated before, Jeonghan was the first to bring it up to Mingyu after practice. Jeonghan made sure everyone was okay, he listened to his younger members’ troubles to make them feel better, and everyone was grateful for it.

Neither of them suspected that they should’ve been careful of when, and more specifically where, they talked about it. But it was too late. Because you were bringing the boys some company and hopefully a few minutes of calm for them in between practice sessions.

Your heart broke when you thought about it. Whether you gave it two seconds of thoughts or a whole hour, your heart inevitably ached at the memory of what your boyfriend had told Jeonghan. “They haven’t even told me to break up with her. But they keep making allusions.”

So you thought it through and you thought it through a hundred more times. In the end, you could only think of one solution. And even though you could have two options, you couldn’t really see yourself aggravating his parents by going against them. Moreover, you would never forgive yourself if this caused him to break his family apart.

And you loathed it. You hated that the only conclusion you had managed to come to was going to hurt.

You gave it more thought when he brought you to his parents again. You could see that he was trying to make it better, in subtle ways. And it didn’t help that his parents were pretending everything was alright. They kept praising how cute and wonderful you were, and it only seemed to make it harder on Mingyu.

He had zero intention of breaking it off with you. Which put him in a tough spot. You knew that; you could see that.

You felt stupid for not seeing it sooner. Something had definitely changed in the way they talked. And it had become obvious now that you knew they’d rather have a different girlfriend for their oldest son. You felt bad for Mingyu.

For the uptenth time, you thought all of it over. You tossed and turned, trying to figure out a way to break it to him; that you couldn’t do it, you wouldn’t let him choose you over his family. And you knew that it would hurt.

“Hey, you okay?” You snapped out of your thoughts and looked up at Mingyu, as he eyed you with concern. You took a deep breath, setting the chopsticks you held down and straightened your posture. “Yeah, just tired,” you said. His lips jutted out in a pout, “I told you to rest. That I’d come tomorrow.” You smiled in response.

The night was warm, warmer than the weather had predicted. Too early in the year for cicadas, it was also silent, save for the delicate breeze, and the distant sound of passing cars. You thought it was the kind of night to have a drink and a meal outside on the rooftop.

So you had instinctively messaged Mingyu to come join you for a bite, and for the first time, you had regretted it right away. No point in going back on your offer; he knew you just as much as you knew him. And he would have known right away, that something was wrong.

Mingyu was tense. Had been since his parents had started saying all these things about you, about your relationship. He had tried to defend you the best he could, but there was only so much he could do to try and change their minds.

As soon as he had gotten your text, despite the guilt he felt, he came to you with a light heart and a smile on his face. He loved you, loved seeing you and he would be damned if he let his parents ruin that for him.

He tried so hard to focus on not walking on eggshells around you and it was working, for the most part.

But you couldn’t look at him and not see in his eyes how much he had struggled with this situation. You could touch by your fingertips the kind of pain that you would feel once you would go through with breaking both of your hearts.

Hell, you could almost touch the kind of anguish that Mingyu was going through. And it gave you a sense of urgency, that you shouldn’t be the person that made him go through something like this.

You weren’t ready to lose the boy sitting in front of you. But the suffering you had to watch him endure wasn’t any better. You turned to look over your shoulder as you felt your eyes filling with tears and waited until your eyes cleared before turning back to your boyfriend.

Mingyu knew something was wrong the moment he looked back at you. Your eyes were glistening. And after all these months of getting to know you, noticing little details about you, observing your tells, he could tell that you were about to cry.

He frowned in a way that you only remembered seeing him do once or twice, when he was undoubtedly and nervously concerned about you.

“Are y- you sure you’re okay?” he asked. He wasn’t sure he wanted an answer. Something in the pit of his stomach made it hard for him not to think of the worst. But you weren’t ready. “I’m sorry,” you said. You shook your head, “I shouldn’t have called you. I’m tired...”

You crossed your arms and hugged yourself. Despite the warmth of having drunk a few beers, you felt that your skin had cooled down. “You probably are, too.”

He chuckled and looked down at his food, “Maybe... But I like spending time with you.” Your cheeks warmed up at his confession. It had been a while since you had heard that. You smiled as you watched your boyfriend’s face turn into a light shade of pink.

You crawled over to his spot on the ground and he took you into his arms. “Getting cold?” You hummed, nuzzling against his chest as he held you tight and rubbed your right arm with his thumb.

Part of it was true. But mostly, you wanted to be in his arms, be with him a little longer. Coward, I’m a coward, you thought.

And you were. And you stayed a coward for a little longer.

Until Mingyu ignored you for days on end. Which wouldn’t normally alarm you, but with you being friends with his closest friends, his members, the radio silence from Mingyu didn’t make much sense.

At first, you thought it was work. But the others would have mentioned something regarding Mingyu not talking to you. As well as if he had gotten into an argument with another member.

So you figured it was you... His parents had most likely told him something that he felt was too much. Something that made him not want to face you.

And that was it for you. It was the moment you knew that you couldn’t be a coward anymore, that you couldn’t be selfish. It was getting worse for Mingyu, and you didn’t need to talk to him to understand that.

You contacted Seungcheol as soon as you had time off of work, choosing a day Mingyu had a free schedule as well. He helped you get into the dorm and left you to wait for your boyfriend in the living room.

All five boys of the sixth floor dorm had cleared out, Seungcheol being the last as he had been the one to get you inside. It couldn’t have been more than ten minutes until you heard a door open and close.

He dragged his feet across the floor all the way to the living room. You stood up from their couch and he stopped in his tracks upon seeing you standing there. He looked tired, more so than usual. You could tell that it was more than just overworking; he was exhausted.

“Hi,” you greeted him, with an awkward wave of your hand. You didn’t like this. “I haven’t heard from you in a while,” you said, once you had realized that he wasn’t going to say anything, that he was speechless.

“Sorry,” he mumbled. “N-no. Don’t. It’s- it’s okay. I just... wanted to see you.” That was true. He stared at you. “Are you okay?” He knew that you weren’t. He could see it all over your face; you didn’t want to be here. He just didn’t seem to know why.

You wanted to ask about him, ask if he was okay, let him know that you knew that he wasn’t. But the words got caught in your throat. You fiddled with the hem of your jacket. You were getting nervous. Like speechless, clammy hands, hot flashes and throat tightening kind of nervous.

The boy in front of you meant so much to you and you wanted to keep him by your side, to keep him happy like you knew he had been with you, like he had told you he was with you. But you also remembered how he would sigh a lot more when on the phone with his parents, how he would try to avoid their calls as much as he could without raising suspicion.

You hadn’t realized it had been so long since he had asked you if you were okay, until he called out your name. Just as he was about to take a step forward, you spoke, “We need to talk.”

We need to talk was such a cliché thing to say. But people didn’t say “we need to talk” to tell their partner that they had missed them or that they loved them. These words were usually spoken to start a conversation that would end in heartbreak, always.

“This wasn’t supposed to be this complicated.” There it was again. The glistening in your eyes that led Mingyu to believe that you were about to cry. He called out your name again, his heart heavy in his chest.

“Mingyu, I- I don’t think...” you paused and took a deep breath, “Maybe we should break up.” Mingyu felt like the air had just been knocked right out of him, he felt his heart drop like it usually did when he was scared out of his mind.

“Wait. Please. Can’t we just talk? Please? Let’s just talk,” he pleaded, words pouring out of his mouth before he could even think of them. The boy didn’t move, his body wasn’t responding and he didn’t know what to do. Why was this happening to him?

“I’m sorry. I just- I’m so sorry.” From where he stood, Mingyu could hear your sniffles. Blurred by tears, you tried to keep on fighting back your tears. Your vision cleared for a second, enough to see the pain on Mingyu’s face.

You had tried so hard to hold on to him, before his parents had gotten involved, and it had seemed so easy back then. You wanted to keep on holding on to him, yet you knew that you wouldn’t be able to handle being the reason Mingyu would drift away from his family.

He was miserable, or at least it certainly felt that way. He hadn’t spoken to his parents in days, probably just as long as he hadn’t contacted you.

After their last call, he had felt so hopeless. They had kept complimenting you, only to end the conversation with the ever so harsh “she’s not good enough for you” as well as the heartbreaking “you should break up with her gently before it’s too late, Mingyu”.

It was only now that he was thinking back to that phone call, that he started to put the pieces together. But they wouldn’t have. They couldn’t have. “D- did my parents call you?” The boy felt his chest fire up with indignation and loathing at the thought.

But his heart plunged to his feet as he watched you shake your head and stare down at your hands. “But I did hear you... Talk to Jeonghan.” He froze. Was this better than what he had expected? Was this worse?

It was getting more and more difficult for you to keep your tears from spilling; they just kept on building up in your eyes. And Mingyu was probably just as crushed as you were, although you couldn’t bear to bring yourself to look at him again.

You didn’t know what else to say. And the longer you stayed there, the harder it became to move. You had to go and leave him before you decided you would prefer holding him and comforting him and giving him the chance to hold on to you.

You closed your eyes, forcing a few tears to drop and you closed your hands into fists. “I’m sorry,” you mumbled one last time before you bolted out the door.

You headed for the stairs, sobs crawling up your throat, thinking that waiting for the elevator would simply give both you and Mingyu the time to try and fight for each other. “y/n?” But you had forgotten that more often than not, the boys would use the stairs more than any of the other residents.

You thought you could hold onto your tears and your pain for a little while longer, long enough to get home or hide in an alley. But it had been days. You had kept yourself from crying for days. And the dam had broken.

So you stood there, in the stairwell, unable to move a muscle, overwhelmed by the pain you felt and had inflicted as your sobs echoed in the empty space. For a second, you also forgot that someone had called your name, at least until you felt a pair of arms wrap around you.

Seungcheol wanted to ask you what was wrong, but he wasn’t even sure you knew that he was the one hugging you. So he simply let you cry it out.

You couldn’t stay. If Seungcheol had run into you, the others would surely run into the two of you. And you couldn’t stay. You collected yourself the best you could and without a word, you freed yourself from Seungcheol’s embrace and left the building.

#seventeen #seventeen imagines #svt #svt imagines #seventeen scenarios #mingyu imagines #mingyu scenarios #kim mingyu #holy shit my friends #here i come after a thousand years #if anyone gets the reference #well #yes i still listen to these

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