#chilenon

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the incredible peace of mind i've experienced on this website since i turned anon off for this blog versus the fact that i miss chilenon so very much

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OMG CHILENON HIIIIIII

I missed you!! It might be a hot second before I finish replying (you probably know that by now) but I just wanted to let u know that I'm happy to hear from you in case you're anxious daiuhdsauidha

BTW if you'd rather I answer your ask privately you can let me know. I'm not sure if I should dauhaidsa

[normal-thoughts-official]

This feels like the mortifying of being known, except I'm still mostly unknown, but desperate times (replaying ilitw) require desperate measures, ajsjsjdhjs I'm Identity Thief Anon (and Chilenon but I already told you that i think)

Anyways I NEED more thoughts on ilitw (if you can, if you already got too tired of it obviously you dont need to answer or anything)

I JUST REALIZED IN THE "INTRO" OF EACH CHAPTER MR RED MAKES THE SCREEN DARK WITH HIS "HAND" I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T CAUGHT IT BEFORE !!

Also I think there are plotholes about Ava ? But maybe not, pls tell me if you have any idea of her timeline being friends or friend-ish with the group, because she didn't know or didn't remember mr red but she was in the woods a few times? Idk maybe I got confused

And what do you think of Lucas's mom, like we barely get info on her but do you have any thoughts? (I still think the teacher was a jerk and Im glad the snake bite him ajsjs)

Also I do have the choices app hacked now (not sure if I told you or not before sorry) and I need to know

Do you get all the weapons / info / pet companies when you play?

Because when I first played I did but now I'm not sure if I want Everything-Everything because I want a bit more of pressure ? Like to feel even more concern for everyone, but also it feels like a waste not getting everything and I do want all the info so maybe not just all the weapons ? Idk, so I was wondering how did you played

And I was curiously if you ever ended up playing Perfect Match?

Okay, that's everything I think, sorry if this is like creepy or anything (?)

♡♡♡

Also Andy is still the funniest guy

[ID: Andy from ILITW smiling and saying, "Yeah, I know. I don't mind that you're Asian, either". End ID]

You had NOT told me that you're chilenon, although you did tell me that chilenon and identity thief anon were the same person. Hello! It's nice to see you. I've missed you a lot, I even thought of turning anon back on for you but unfortunately people are unbearable and turning off anon improved my mental health and general tumblr experience SO much

It's been a hot sec since I last replayed ILITW but from what I remember Ava does remember Mr Red? She even tells Stacy "you know damn well he wasn't imaginary" when she calls Mr Red their imaginary friend.

As for Lucas' mom... Now that's an interesting question. Again it's been a hot second, but I did rewatch the scene where MC finds out about Lucas' pills on youtube, which I'm pretty sure is the only scene where he talks about it in depth, and I think she has the potential to be pretty interesting

Like... The whole "she came to the US as a kid, was poor, worked 3 jobs, built herself from the ground up" story sounds pretty fucking traumatic to me, and I think it'd be interesting if that was the root of her.............. shortcomings as a mother

Lucas says that his parents "can't hide how disappointed they are" in him, but I'm not gonna take that at face value because we never see them interact except for a one-sided phone conversation. I'm not saying he's lying or making shit up or exaggerating to be clear, I just don't think Lucas is in the best place to evaluate his worth and the perception other people have of him right now. We know what anxiety is like, you assume everything means people are judging you, and you are actively turning whatever you see into proof of that

Not that she didn't push him very hard. She obviously did and it was traumatic as fuck and just, what the fuck, lady. I just think he may be misinterpreting her reasons for it. His mom had to suffer a lot to be able to survive, nevermind thrive, especially considering that she was a brown immigrant woman in the US. And I think she's kind of scared that she could lose what she built at any time, because it still feels so precarious, like if she ever took a break from all her stuff she'd be back to square 1. And I think she knows that, as a brown queer kid, Lucas will have to work twice as hard to get half the recognition, and I think that prospect scares her

Which is why I think that she pushes him so hard - because she wholeheartedly believes that he needs to if he's ever going to "make it". Unsure what "make it" means to her, but the truth is that in her experience she only had two things: horrifying poverty and back-breakingly hard work. So... I think that, in her head, if Lucas is not killing himself studying, he's gonna end up like she was at the beginning. And with him being a brown man there are other worries associated with that, like racial profiling with the police and etc (not that non-men don't have to worry about that, it's just more common among them)

In short, I think this might be coming from a genuine place of love and caring and just... Unprocessed trauma leading her to think this is the only way to make sure her son has a good life. And I think she could be a very interesting character to explore in that sense. Just... Pushing herself so hard because she feels like she's in a constant race against poverty, always looking behind her back, never truly believing that she can keep the good things she's earned

With that being said... Girl, go to therapy. She's rich as shit now so she can afford it. You're ruining a perfectly good Lucas. Look at him, he's got a pill addiction

In short, Lucas deserves better, but I like to believe that this is coming from a place of genuine love and care for him, especially because I think that's more interesting than just pushing him super hard for no reason. #Lucas'MomGoToTherapy2023

As for the weapons and info... The first time I played, yeah, because I wanted to have all the information possible, you know? Like I wanted to enjoy everything there is to enjoy about the story. But when choices matter I do always make a playthrough later where I make the same choices but without any diamond ones, just to see if I would still get a good result. I'm competitive :p and then if it doesn't matter I just get the ones I really want to or am curious to do. Like I'm not gonna go on the Connor dates cuz I don't give a fuck. But if I want to do something I see no reason not to, unless it's to test myself

I'd say just do what you want, tbh. There's no reason to feel like you "should" get everything, and it's fun to have a bit more pressure as you said. It's kind of sad that Choices keeps making diamond choices have a massive impact on the characters' wellbeing because it's frustrating both from the side where you don't use them (cuz you know... fuck you) and on the side where you DO (because I want to date Lucas but I also want to feel like I EARNED my good ending).

And I did end up playing Perfect Match! I can't believe I hadn't mentioned that to you before. I really liked it. Polyamory rights. Sloane is the best. I had fun daiuhsaiudhaiudash

And it's not creepy, I'm happy to have you <3

(And yes, Andy is perfect. But I'm biased)

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ID: Raj from Endless Summer saying "because..." the next option says "I can feel Unhinged in my head right now". the second one is crossed out. end ID

@ chilenon see this is why giving all my MCs funny names is 100% worth it

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ID: Michelle Nguyen from Endless Summer saying, "why do you always have to be the hero, you idiot?!". "always" is italicized. end ID

see @ chilenon this is why as a sean romancer i see no reason to dislike michelle. she is not my enemy in a battle for sean she is my ally against sean in the neverending battle to make him make one (1) self-preservation-friendly decision. i need all the help i can get here

the metamours need a damn support group

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También me gusta charlar contigo <3

La verdad fue porque el estilo de trabajo (cambios de horas y la rutina de 15 días trabajo y 15 descanso, que es como se empieza) no creo que me haga bien como mentalmente (los turnos de práctica en medicina también son malos, pero son malos de una forma en la que estoy "más acostumbrado" como desvelarse la noche y luego levantarse temprano, pero igual es "más rutina" (no sé si me explico bien)

...pensé que iba a ser más fácil viajar así AJSJSJDJDJ el titulo se escuchaba lindo y soy buena para las matemáticas

aaaah, si es como pedir, pero es como que, I need to take 4 tests and if I'm among the 65th best scores then I get in ? so I meant psotular as in asking for the university to let me in

es que eres muy amable, los alumnos deben ser muy afortunados ajjjajajajja

<3

for the choices now akdaksjd switching to gringo brain

", they did a pretty good job with representation in ILITW" yes I miss the few times when they actually went for it than just, the most boring white male li and the second most (customizable but still written very much as a white male) li, and I think the Noah's death is/was a very important part of the narrative

!!!! wow I need to check it out

I love Michelle but also I'm genuinely happy I haven't met any student like her because she terrifies me /positive

AJAJJAJAJAJAJAJJ why all are your names like this, like how do you not laugh when you have a serious moment and the li just says something like "asshole" like 0.o ajajjajasjjsjsjdj i'd die

Diego is just so sweet but not in a "uwu" way, just in a way that he wants to be a kind person and a good friend and he is!! and I really like how he just,, wanted a bff <3

are you only replaying es or are you going to play a new book also?

also I think I complained about the hot weather before and how I would die living in there but last week was 43 C and my landlord (landlady ? person who isn't the owner of the building but like is pay to look after the building ? La encargadaTM) told me to not use the air conditioner under 24 :(

no emojis because i wrote this on my compu

La verdad fue porque el estilo de trabajo (cambios de horas y la rutina de 15 días trabajo y 15 descanso, que es como se empieza) no creo que me haga bien como mentalmente (los turnos de práctica en medicina también son malos, pero son malos de una forma en la que estoy "más acostumbrado" como desvelarse la noche y luego levantarse temprano, pero igual es "más rutina" (no sé si me explico bien)

ah, entiendo perfectamente. ese tipo de rutina a mi también me hace daño. en verdad levantarme temprano aún es algo con que no me he acostumbrado completamente pero consigo vivir. cambios de horas me parece muy malo tho, aunque creo que me gustaría 15 días de trabajo y 15 de descanso, al menos son horas iguales de trabajo y de descanso jajaja y normalmente no me molesta trabajar muchos días, pero necesito de vários días de descanso también. pero dale, cada persona es diferente lmao

...pensé que iba a ser más fácil viajar así AJSJSJDJDJ el titulo se escuchaba lindo y soy buena para las matemáticas

jajajajajajajajaja comprehensible. no es mala razón

aaaah, si es como pedir, pero es como que, I need to take 4 tests and if I'm among the 65th best scores then I get in ? so I meant psotular as in asking for the university to let me in

ahhh sí, en brasil lo llamamos vestibular a ese proceso, pero no creo que tengamos algun verbo para describirlo, así que me puse confundido

es que eres muy amable, los alumnos deben ser muy afortunados ajjjajaja

ahh, muchas gracias, me encanta oír eso. en efecto mis alumnos son muy importantes para mí así que intento ser siempre lo más amable posible con ellos, y ser elogiado a ese respeto siempre me encanta mucho jaja

for the choices now akdaksjd switching to gringo brain

lmao crying love the idea that personal stuff is in spanish and fandom stuff is in english. so true tbh

yes I miss the few times when they actually went for it than just, the most boring white male li and the second most (customizable but still written very much as a white male) li

right exactly. generally im just so over the customizable characters. literally no one likes them so idk why pb still insists on this crap. they are always written to be so bland and lacking any sort of backstory because they are a blank slate and it's really hard to actually give a crap about them. pb give us real LIs back again

also is it just me or are the newer choices stories like, severely lacking in non-LI characters? comparing it to stories like ILITW and ES and even like, high school story or the freshman, they all had a pretty big cast of non-LI characters, some of which were even also main characters, with their own plotlines and interests and stuff. and now with the newer stuff it's like... MC, their LIs, maybe a villain, and that's kind of it? there are no other relevant characters or important platonic relationships that cannot turn romantic and i really miss that. especially having more group dynamics. that was so important to me and it really helped have more space for diversity and different kinds of backstories and even just small stuff that would make these characters relatable for people who are part of minority groups, or even just like, add humor even (like "you are such a philistine" "racist much? my family is from taiwan" or "great, so i'll just be the trans asian guy the rest of my life?" "hey, you know i dont care about that stuff, right?" "thanks, i don't care that you're asian, either")

im not sure if im able to fully express myself but the casual diversity in having very big casts (sometimes with more than one person within the same minority group!! woah!!) and giving them all attention and storylines and different relationships with MC and each other made everything seem so much more real, you know? both in terms of diversity and just of realism. i cared a lot more about the plot and the storylines in this type of stories, and it felt way easier to immerse when it didn't seem like this story only involved/affected 3 people. of course not every story is meant to have a big cast but the fact that every choices story right now revolves around 4 characters tops just makes every story feel so much poorer in relation to the others. especially when 2 out of those 4 characters are blank slates with no real background or community they belong to

and basically i just miss having friends who are real people and not only meant to be there as a romantic interest lmao. and real diversity. i miss real diversity so much

AJAJJAJAJAJAJAJJ why all are your names like this, like how do you not laugh when you have a serious moment and the li just says something like "asshole" like 0.o ajajjajasjjsjsjdj i'd die

because they're hilarious. and i do laugh. those are some of my favorite moments tbh like when i am immersed in a serious moment and then a character says some shit like "i need you, Emo Boy". unparalleled comedy

also it makes the sex scenes a lot more interesting lmao nothing quite beats the humor of having a character moan "I just farted"

Diego is just so sweet but not in a "uwu" way, just in a way that he wants to be a kind person and a good friend and he is!! and I really like how he just,, wanted a bff <3

i feel diego so much :( like he really was just so lonely he just desperately needed a friend, so fucking much he basically made a whole new person materialize into existence and it breaks my heart. it's one of the reasons he is one of my fave characters. and i also feel like it's a big immigrant/poc and(/or) queer mood. i absolutely love ES for having the most important bond be well established as a strictly platonic bond, ugh truly unparalleled i love this series

are you only replaying es or are you going to play a new book also?

i am replaying ES and also playing some other stuff (currently desire and decorum - which im reading just for me - and the freshman - which im reading with my friends - and sometimes i read TRR when im bored and have no keys). but it's been going slow since i went back to in person work for obvious reasons daodaida so i havent been able to get much progress

also, kill ur landlady. what the fuck

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I feel like this is a really old response and I should answer more in depth and etc but like,, I'm a tired person

I married all the lis (except Sean, or like I did but I think I didn't finished the chapter idk) and I flirted with everyone except him in book 1 because I was kind of more worried about doing everything to make Michelle like me and because that type of self-sacrificing isn't my type (like he's an amazing person and character but dating someone like that? Akskjdkdkdkd) anyways I do love him and I jave spend so much time thinking about him like he does value his life is just that he sort of values the Doing The Right Thing (arguably) more and like wow issues

Eh babe really, don't sweat it, I've taken wayy longer to reply to your asks before lol. Sometimes we just don't have spoons and that's how it is

Also fair. You don't really lose points with Michelle for flirting with Sean (except for one time in that diamond scene at the pool, and only if you win at Marco Polo for some reason, so it's avoidable) which is another point in my ever growing list of Reasons Michelle Is Lesbian A.F like for someone who's not over Sean she sure seems to be over Sean. Like again I don't like jealousy trope and I'm glad they didn't force me to experience this annoying ass monog drama but I do find it very sus that she started the story being like "I want Sean back :( I'm not over it it was all a misunderstanding" and then two days later when your MC is with him she's like oh well. Sucks to suck. I will now go have insane chemistry with every female character in this series. Like alright

Also so valid on the dating someone like that thing, lol. I project like crazy on characters like that and I have strong "I can fix him" feelings for my fave characters' fucked up psyche so there's that. Also the way I interact with self insert characters is like... Weird. I don't really see them as myself at all, just another character whose decisions I can sometimes control. And because I don't see them as myself, I would need to actually see myself in them to relate to them. But that's almost impossible because I.F MCs are blank slates by default. So they end up being the characters I relate the least to and care the least about (which I think is one of the reasons why I don't really feel like the Vaanu ending was a sad ending at all. Like Unhinged is actually one of the MCs I feel has the most personality and that I've become attached to the most, but he's still one of the characters I care the least about. So I wasn't super sad about it)

So what happens is that I don't really feel like I'm dating the L.I, a lot of the time i identify way more with the L.I than the MC, and I kind of just have the MC be like, my self insert who shows up to uplift my favorite character. So it's not necessarily about who I'd date or not. Like I'd still date Sean if he was real cuz I'm like that but it's a different sort of relationship I think. I'm extremely tired and in pain rn btw so maybe none of this makes sense but I'm doing my best to put this in words

But also on a funnier/crackier note, I have some ideas to write a crackfic about exactly how fucking. Exhausting it is to try to get Sean to behave like a normal person with self preservation instincts. In the form of a metamour support group with the MC, Craig, and Michelle, who's not even dating Sean anymore but still runs the group because she'll be tired of this for at least three more years. But also I have quite a few fics lined up that I haven't had spoons to write so idk if anything will come of it. I just find the idea of MC, Craig, and Michelle sitting in a group like "we are gathered here today to complain that Sean tried to single handedly fight a gigantic murderous crab. Again" extremely funny

And yeah, I think Sean is one of the most interesting characters in E.S, regardless of whether or not you romanced him. Like of course you don't even get a lot of important parts of his backstory without spending gems (I did a no-gems run one time and like without gems they don't even mention that he's a chile abuse survivor? Bro) but he's still very interesting regardless. Like he's the only L.I to get a whole chapter of the story named after his personal issues (that I remember of) regardless of whether or not you romanced them, and yeah [keysmash] like again he's my type so I'm sus but I do think that he is super fascinating as a character and so underexplored by the fandom

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I missed spamming you, and I wanted to spam pasta but anon was off (understandble btw) ~chilenon

Fuc I didn't ready it was for thirstgate lmao sorry((also, wild)) ~me again

thats okay!!!! i truly missed u too tbh ifndidndidndidndjdn i hope ur doing well, thankfully im doing great at studies so i should be back soon!

also i think pasta just doesnt fckng know how to enable anon. hey @pastaingallday did u disable anon on purpose?

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People really be putting jocelyn in the "ooh poor, white women, she's 100% innocent" despite everything like, I haaaaate her, you have just awoken repressed dislike for her idiotic self that I deleted when she died, gosh I wanna punch her-me

lmaooo I'm sorry that i awakened ur hatred? jdbdudbdidnd i dont care a lot for her but yeah she's definitely terrible

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Clary es 100% esa gringa que viaja a América del Sur y cree que sólo hay vacas, jaakskd, the Only moment I like her was in the finale ~yo

si clary viniera a Brasil se quedaría en shock que las personas se ponen ropas y no caminan sambando. y probablemente iba a quejarse que hay mucho chile en la comida

me maldijiste con esa ask chilenon pues ahora nunca más conseguiré verla de otra manera. Clary, la gringa insoportable

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Reasons to follow Lêx 1) good malec 1.a) appreciates magnus enough 1.b) himbo alec 2) they called me mi amorcito and that gave me serotonin.

Reasons to not follow Lêx 1) none they're great and have amazing ideas and content.

2) doesn't know what good mate is, like wtf apuesto que tomas el mate super lavado o con azucar 🤢 get well soon

i just said i dont drink mate?????? i had it ONCE in my whole entire life

but also thank you 🥺🥺🥺 y eres mi amorcito, te quiero cariño

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Is everyone saying "te quiero is more familial, te amo is romantic" alright?

Because If I don't say "Te amo" after saying goodbye to close family members (siblings, parents and sometimes grandparents) they're gonna assume that I hate them and wish them dead. And if my parents don't say "chao, te amo" (goodbye, love you) I'm going to assume I'm no longer in the will and that they're angry-angry

Like it's not even a nice moment is more like "byebyebyebyeloveyoubye"

🇨🇱

hello bby! ive missed you! and yeah tbh that definition sounds to me like amatonormative bullshit, it's not "te quiero is platonic and te amo is romantic", its just that te amo is more intense

like to be fair i think ppl use the terms like that in spain but that's not a real country anyway

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Ajjns, you didn't recognize me this time 👀 but if I ever see papi in a kinky way like in a not crack fic I scream, my dad is bilingual so I used to call him papi & daddy. Also you dare mention Freud just like that? A ese csm? *Quickly googles an appropriate translation" a ese filho da puta? But addressing the parents with your siblings is always weird ? A friend says "MY mom/dad" when she's talking to her bro even though same parents, mybrother calls our mom by name but idontsoitsweird chilenon

dont worry i know what conchasumare means lmao I'm more fluent in Spanish cussing than anything else tbh idndidndi you can thank latino meme groups for that

tbh with my studying and stuff i can understand spanish almost perfectly if you wanna talk in Spanish, i just dont have a lot of practice speaking spanish (but well I'll never get it if i dont start practicing lmao) so i might slip up and say something weird/portuñol sounding then and there. but like id love to talk in Spanish to u tbh ufndjdndk

also look i dont like freud either that's why i keep mentioning him it's about the Shade lmao

also dont mention portuguese cussing to me my friends know that if i ever start talking about brazilian offensive terms and expressions i never fucking stop

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"Alec has big big hands"- Chilenon impersonating you :P

idbsisnsksmsk this is so unfair most of the time im not even the one bringing up his big hands why must i get the fame for my anons' actions 😭😭

(they are Big)

(impersonate me in my askbox!)

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Yes to brag but I was saying your name right in my head ~chilenon

doaijdoasijda yeah the ê sounds just like the regular e in spanish so i think for you guys it’s easier. i can’t even think of an equivalent sound for english speakers, the closest they have is a and that’s not quite right

[normal-thoughts-official]

Exhala e intenta alejar esos thoughts de ti, porque una parte tuya sabe que no son verdad ni sanos, y que tu eres la única persona que puede elegir como etiquetarse (tu subconsciente se va a la mierda en esta ocasion*), si es que cambias de etiqueta después de un tiempo, si es que escoges una a pesar de que no estés bien seguro, estás consciente que eso está bien, es real, solo te queda continuar así de a poco hasta que tu cerebro supere esos pensamientos que van en contra tuya, love u Lex, 🇨🇱

Donde esta ese post de que eres tu segundo pensamiento, porque el primero es como, las cosas aprendidas de tu entorno y mierdas así,pero el segundo es el "tu" real porque es una acción (casi) que estas decidiendo, eres lo que haces, pero en tu cerebro.//Solo quería decirte que espero que estés bien, y que pronto puedas aceptar como todo de ti, dudas y confusiones incluidas, porque idk debe ser feo sentirse así y ser a la vez tan auto consciente, no se si es que algo te puede hacer sentir mejor, no soy quien para decirte que eres tu sexualidad, pero lo eres, gritale a tu cerebro que tienes mi aprobación, y espero que algún día pronto como que ni siquiera necesites algo así, en fin (perdón si esto no fue útil y por no tener la e con el acentito) dile a tu cerebro que igual tambien te envió amor (eso, bye, perdon por spamearte/ spam u)

muchas gracias, chilenon. y no te disculpes por spamear, te agradezco de verdad por tus palabras, eres muy gentil ♥️ como ya lo he dicho, sé de todo esto, y que etiquetarse es un proceso muy complejo y inherentemente fallo porque identidades son multifacéticas y únicas. pero.... bueno, saber y de facto sentirlo son cosas muy diferentes didndkdn y la inseguridad me afecta en demasiado, no consigo evitarlo

de cualquier manera, me ayuda saber que personas como tú se preocupan conmigo, y oír eso de otras personas es siempre bueno, entonces.... me ha ayudado, de verdad, y gracias nuevamente. te quiero ♥️