#childe: he smells like the abyss 👀

[kaeyachi]

firm believer that if signora found kaeya as a child (and with the HC/theory that he looks like rostam) she would have claimed him as her son (and she would have somewhat healed mentally and emotionally too)

[demonwebs-a]

FMK: Mystra, Lolth, Shar -

Send me a “👀 + a question” and my muse has to answer honestly!

oh . oh !!! kind goddess is she ? is she ???? a bomb in his chest might've actually been a lot easier to cope with , actually . he'd go bang somewhere public , take as many people down with him as possible . this is unfortunate . there is no possible answer here that's gonna make lolth happy . not that lolth is ever happy to begin with - but , still . ❝ ... i hate you . you're an evil goddess . ❞ words from the mouth of a sullen child who's just found himself backed into a corner , and is now pouting his way through it . ❝ marry um , um ... ❞ ... yeah - no , there's no possible answer that's gonna make both of them happy here . how did he find himself in this predicament to begin with ? this is so unfair . ❝ well - kill shar , of course ... we can still have darkness if she dies , right ? i mean - my eyes are kind of sensitive and all ... maybe replace her with someone less , um ... obnoxious , right ? the raven queen's not doing much , i heard she didn't used to be a raging bitch back in the day - maybe she'd like the gig . ❞ he's stalling . how long can he chew on his thumb without answering , anyways ? ❝ oh - fucking hells ... ❞ he exhales , rolling his eyes . fine . she better still love him when he grows six more legs . ❝ um ... controversial to popular belief , the thought of fucking the spider queen is actually quite terrifying if you know her temper , or - you know , ❞ a dry , humorless chuckle . ❝ the temper of ... female spiders towards males in general after coupling . so , um ... that ... but ... um ... cautiously ... with a lot of begging , probably . it's fine . it's fine . i always wanted to ... have my head ripped off during sex ... it's fine . i'm a ... healthy young male - that probably wouldn't happen . ❞ probably . it might . it probably would . it definitely would if she overheard the next part - ❝ and um ... marry you , 'cause ... you know . i like you , and you smell nice , and you're pretty and a little bit evil , and i think you can bring me back to life when this gets back to the abyss eventually ... ❞