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wannabepoeticischiya · 3 months ago

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You swore that he made it his vow to have a reminder of his existence for your every waking moment. That you wouldn’t spend a day without saying his name or cursing it to the wind.

ao3: for affection, for acceptance pairing: nagumo x f!reader genre: romance wc: 1.6k status: one shot

Everyone in the JAA knew you as the doll.

The living, breathing, epitome of a doll.

A cold-blooded killer.

The executioner without mercy.

A human born with no emotion.

Life hasn’t always been easy for you. To be born in a family of importance meant that you had to grow into somebody worthy enough to be important. To be recognized meant to have a hundred thousand impossible feats under your belt. To be accepted meant that you had to give up all that you were, change every angle, every vision, so you could fit into their ideals. To have been all of that at the same time meant that it left no room for anything else.

No room for sadness, nor happiness.

No room for affection, nor adoration.

No room for warmth, nor love.

No room for you.

So, who does this guy think he was? To shamelessly flaunt his undermining achievement in front of your face as though he held the world in the palm of his hand. Brazen that he was, given that he could easily boast about something you could do with your eyes closed with hands tied behind your back. That he could smile so freely like he did not just brutally murder ten people with nothing but a tiny Swiss knife.

He rose the ranks quickly, far too fast for your liking given that he was a transfer from those wimpy spy department kids. And each time he got closer to where you stand, his smile would glow brighter and brighter… until one day, it shone far more brilliantly than the sun itself.

And you hated that, more so than when your boss would rush you to get the job done a day earlier.

It didn’t deter him in his advances. Why would he relent when he knew you from when your family and his were neighbors? When he would pull at your hair and stare curiously at how your face would never contort to anything beyond that blank slate. Or from when he’d lick your ice cream to see if it tasted different from his despite it being the same flavor. When he’d barge into your room so early in the morning and demand to play with him.

He was a child. An annoyingly obnoxious entitled child.

Even now, as you transcend past a decade and a half into your lives, he remained that same child.

Unrelenting. Motivated in the best way, a pest in the worst.

You swore that he made it his vow to have a reminder of his existence for your every waking moment. That you wouldn’t spend a day without saying his name or cursing it to the wind.

He never left, serving as the sole reminder of all that you’ve forsaken to reach where you are now. Yoichi, the fiend. Yoichi, your neighbor. Yoichi, your first friend.

Many times did he push you to the edge. If he asked you where you were, you’d say you’re at the end of your limit. If he asked you where you live, you’d say in the state of annoyance. If he asked if you how you were, you’d say you’re better off knowing he’d hit the grave early.

Then one day, he asked… if you felt anything for him.

And for the first time in nearly twenty long years of getting on each other’s throats, you found no words to say.

If he asked you about your feelings, what would you say? How would you look at him? Show him the puzzle of words that you yourself found difficulty piecing together.

Many times did he provoke you into doing something, whether it would be through aggravating you to assault, or by giving you these vague questions that leave you pondering them over for days without ever knowing the correct answer.

You wanted to believe you were smart, that your intellectual capabilities were above average—or better, above his. Yet here, in this space between annoyance and familiarity, a sickeningly fragrant flower had begun to bloom… and you didn’t know what to do.

Raised to assassinate, trained to kill. That’s what you were: a killer. There was nothing more.

Was that so wrong? To live life like a machine. It seemed like common sense to you. Because no one ever taught you otherwise. No one gave you a different way to live, showed you a new path to take. Breaking your heart for every life you took looked right. Killing your happiness for the sake of others seemed noble. Giving it all up for the greater good was for the best, wasn’t it?

There was nothing beyond you except for the eyes of a murderer. There was nothing more. So why does he look at you like that? Like you were trapped and drowning, and he wanted to get you out. Like there was an entire world waiting for you behind this wall of ice. Why does Yoichi look at you like that?

You wanted to ask him. Desperately so… why? Why do you look at me, as though you could love me?

And for that one rare moment, you snapped.

Why? You’d say, letting the years of pent-up frustration and sadness fall in rivers of silver. You didn’t understand... yet, in your heart, there was no denying it.

From way back to when you were children, Yoichi had already reached his hand out for you to take. He never left because he knew, even back then… that he was the only one you had. That you’d be lost if one more thing was going to leave you, that you’d drown and never come back if you had to give up another thing for the sake of another. If you had to choose from two equally important things: your happiness or the world?

Perhaps he wanted you to be a little more selfish. To put yourself first for a change. Because you’d spent so long asking others what they want… he wanted you to ask yourself what you want. And he’d be there to pick up the pieces of a world in ruin if he gets to see you smile.

And it unnerved you so, that it took you over a score to see him. To look to him in a different light. All that he did for you, and all that you did to him when all he ever wanted was for you to see yourself. To have you love your soul… and if he was lucky, maybe you could learn to love him, too.

The universe answered his life-long wish, so it seemed.

---

You had the biggest crush on him.

Him. Nagumo Yoichi. Your next-door neighbor from your childhood days. The one who egged you into aggravated assault. The guy who'd take a thousand bullets for you. The one who'd shamelessly dress up as a girl to get you out of infiltration missions. The one who had all the patience in the world. All the happiness in the universe could offer.

Nagumo who could have had anything in the world, anyone he wanted, all at the snap of his fingers... yet he chose to stay beside you.

You had the biggest crush on Nagumo Yoichi, your husband.

Now, there was a big difference in loving someone, and having a crush on him.

Six years you've been together. Six long years, and even still, you find yourself staring at him when he's across the room. Trailing your eyes in the fiery warmth of his wake. Feeling like a thousand fireworks are exploding in your stomach, the rhythm of your heart going a beat faster, the songs they sing submerged in saturated adoration that it leaves you blushing like a high school girl.

He makes you giddy and nervous that it leaves you looking back and forth to your reflection in any shiny surface to see if you look alright.

Whenever you go out, whether it's for official business or a date, you'd struggle to find the right outfit—the perfect choice of clothes because you want to look your best for him, to have him think that you're pretty. And if you could, you'd spend forever styling your hair until every strand will never dare to go out of place ever again.

If the phone rings, the small flickering fire of hope burns into a blazing inferno, lighting up the sky with the hopes that it's him who's calling you, that it's him who's texting you.

When he's close enough to touch, near enough to hold, you just want him to lean in and kiss you.

There was no denying it, you have a crush on your husband.

And when he meets your stare, and he smiles, like there was nothing that could ever compare to you, you’d think to yourself that you’re at the luckiest you’ve ever been. Because you had him, and he had you. He loves you… and you love him.

Even now, as he sits so boyishly on the sofa, with his legs spread out so far it leaves no room for anyone else, you just can't stop staring at him.

Thinking to yourself that out of every soul in this infinite universe, you get to be his wife.

You married that guy.

Yoichi who’d dive to the depths of the sea to save you. Travel to the ends of the universe if you asked him to. Tie a lasso around the stars and bring them all to you. Count the grains of sand, tally every heartbeat that has echoed since the dawn of time, and even then, it wouldn’t be enough to tell you how much he loves you.

You married him. Yoichi… your husband, the man at the center of your planet-sized crush. You married him. He’s your husband.

They love us, you said to him back then at the day of your wedding.

Yet he simply looked to you, I love you.

And there was nothing in this world that could ever be greater than that.

it's short bcz i'm so stressed, 11 quizzes in a span of 4 days is so... evil 😭 I legitimately do not know what kind of turn this took but it's there

#ao3 #fanfiction #fanfic writing #sakamoto days #nagumo yoichi x reader #yoichi nagumo x reader #nagumo yoichi #nagumo x reader #nagumo sakamoto days #chiya's head rent 🎐

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akimoroll · 16 days ago

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giving in to the love.

chapter 5. love letter from the sea to the shore

chapter index: 1 — 2 — 3 — 4 | read the entire thing on ao3

nagumo yoichi x afab!reader—wc 5.9k—alternate universe

!! mentions of abuse. death. alcoholism. a bit of suicidal ideation. highschool flashbacks yada yada. mdni.

I think I loved you

In another life

Where I was the sea

And you were the shore

Happiness will find me, eventually. That’s what you kept telling yourself when you thought you had it all figured out: Get a degree, secure a well paying job and live independently. But to your dismay, life remained devoid of its meaning.

You repeatedly found yourself questioning the reason why you keep trying to fit into spaces that were never meant for you, leaving you with aches and pains as morning coffee turned to liquor, gradually turning yourself into the last person you wanted to be.

Solitude has always been your constant companion.

But it weighed heavy sometimes so you let strangers with rough careless hands have their way with you. They mirrored how you maintained your guard, a silent understanding, an invisible wall that prevented anything true. From a safe distance, you sought satisfaction without letting anyone get too close, leaving you feeling more hollow and lonelier than before.

Your fingers constantly ached, yet somehow you couldn't bring yourself to let go as you continuously dug through the earth, searching, always searching. What were you looking for? Or were you burying something down?

Maybe it was a bit of both.

A bitter realization settled over you—your heart would always yearn for a home that you could never have, a sense of belonging that would always remain out of reach. There was nothing here for you, nothing to hold on to. You wanted to escape… to where? And from what? And it hurts. It hurts so so much.

The universe seemed to have a twisted sense of humor, tossing one hurdle after another, almost as though life’s challenges were keeping you stubbornly alive—your father had fallen ill and you played caretaker with his family despite your distant relationship with them. After years of putting your mother’s feelings and impulsive behaviors before yourself, a habit of prioritizing others above your own became second nature to you.

The year ticked by slowly, each day dragging along until the phone call brought news of your mother's passing. It was confusing. Should you be relieved? Should you grieve? You didn’t know how you should feel. Your mind went eerily quiet knowing that you weren’t hers to torment any longer.

Being your mother’s only child, you felt responsible to go back to your childhood home to take care of matters regarding her death. You just had to get it over and done with as soon as possible, to not stay longer than you should, careful not to reopen old wounds. But fate had its way of taunting you as you ran into familiar faces, resulting in an unexpected turn of messy events.

Like great memories under a pile of bad ones, like rediscovering something you once cherished pushed back in the farthest corner of your shelf, and even though the air was heavy with dust that could suffocate, you couldn’t help but feel a spark had ignited. You found yourself hopeful again.

Maybe life isn’t so bad after all?

However, hope is a dangerous thing for you. Because once you put it all back in its proper place, once you go back to your life, to your reality, it will once again send you inevitably spiraling down.

But maybe you just have to stay long enough until the love you craved and kept begging for falls right into your cup? There, in Nagumo’s arms, you became someone else. Someone more like yourself.

Has it always been this easy with him? You fit just right, you belonged. Struck by his absence all this time, you allowed yourself to lean onto him. You wanted him more than you wanted to live, and he held you like it’s the safest you have ever been.

As much as you longed for his comfort, a subtle fear gnawed at you. He felt all too familiar, all too close, as if a tiny spark could ignite a wildfire between you, terrified of the thought you’d burn him down with you. And in the same manner, he was intense, like his lips were breathing fire onto your skin, yet it didn't sting. His warmth soothed so many parts of you, like you were seated by a fireplace, all snug and cozy with a thick soft blanket wrapped around you after being out in the snow all day.

It was disorienting. You didn’t know what to do with him.

Could it be that you were simply conditioned to resist gentleness when it appears in a shape that felt too kind? When it hits fast but lands too soft, does that scare you away? Or were you scared of the thought that if he looked too closely and found nothing, he’d walk away?

Because when you spend your life being told you’re not good enough, that you ruin everything you lay your hands on, that you’re hard to love—you start believing it as the truth.

As you reflected on your past, a question lingered in your mind: was it because you were too lost in your own thoughts, driven by struggle to try to make sense of it all, or was it because you were simply too young and naive? Life had a knack for being unkind to you, but amidst it all, Nagumo was there—everything that was good seemed inexplicably intertwined with him.

The photograph of you, this ring… What does this all mean? Was he there that day? Was he the one who did that for you?

You had set to finally end it, it was supposed to be when you visited the beach for the first time in years. Feeling envious of its departure, the sunset stared back at you, as if it were mocking your desire to say goodbye.

Your thoughts drifted with the wind as it mingled with the beach’s crystal clear turquoise water, reminiscent of the graceful dance of her locks whenever she pulled your hand in hers.

Hey Rion, leave some ciggies for me up there, ‘kay?

///

“She’s going to drop out,” Taro announced, handing one of the two pork buns to Nagumo before taking a seat beside him on a bench overlooking the soccer field.

Nagumo, his mouth half full, asked, “Who is?” taking a bite of the bun and murmuring how hot it is.

“Who else?” Taro spoke up, swallowing a mouthful of food before continuing, “She talked to me on the way here.”

In response, Nagumo simply hummed, not wanting to worsen what he was already feeling.

Taro snuck a quick glance at Nagumo before continuing, “She's heading off with her dad, got a plane ticket and everything. She said she couldn't bring herself to approach you, so she asked me to tell you secretly.”

Nagumo paused mid chew, “Secretly?” he echoed, a hint of surprise in his voice.

“Yeah.”

Nagumo blinked in surprise, wondering since when did his best friend develop an interest in gossip. Confused, he asked, “Then why are you telling me?”

Taro took a moment to think before reminiscing about his last conversation with Rion, recalling how she was the one doing most of the talking.

I’m so bored… They've been avoiding each other like the plague.

Listen, Sakamoto, they’re idiots. What if I talk her into it, and you with Nagumo. Let’s see who confesses first?

Or maybe we could lock them in a room together? That’s easier.

No?

Alright, whatever.

Taro let out a silent groan at the idea of being involved in someone else's lovelife when he can’t even progress with his own. He didn't believe in ghosts, but Akao was a force to be reckoned with. He didn't want her haunting him down in his dreams for not fulfilling her trivial but well intended request. He smiled inwardly at her memory before replying to Nagumo, “Slip of the tongue.”

Taro saw how your absence deeply affected Nagumo and in his own way of showing affection for his best friend, he made sure he kept “slipping” even years later.

He made sure to tell Aoi to invite you to the reunion the moment he spotted you walking in their store.

He slipped up again when he invited Nagumo to come over and see you.

He was the one who suggested that Nagumo follow you outside when everyone was occupied at the pub.

Finally, he slipped one last time, assuring everyone that he didn’t see anything when he was supposed to call you both back inside, even though he saw the two of you leaving together. Taro mused, “Akao, looks like I win this round.”

All those slip ups kept Nagumo’s gears turning.

During those early years, he clung onto a slender thread of hope, believing that it must have meant something. Maybe you hadn’t meant what you said, and perhaps you did feel the same way about him. He wrestled his thoughts for countless nights, feeding off that tiny glimmer of hope from that detail, until it became too heavy to carry.

Maybe he should have confessed sooner? He had planned to tell you that he liked you during that afternoon walk from school, a week after his birthday. As he strolled along with you, his long legs moved deliberately slowly, trying to savor every moment he had with you. When you insisted he had to walk you home because you had “something for him”, he feigned annoyance, even though he secretly enjoyed the extra time with you.

“My mom’s not home yet. Do you want to come in for a bit?”

You spoke so casually as if inviting him in was a completely natural thing for you to do. Though he tried to keep his cool, his heart betrayed him as it pounded inside his chest.

“Here… I baked you sweets for your birthday.”

“But my birthday was like, last week?”

“Take this as my apology for the stunt I pulled that day,” you mumbled, a faint blush on your cheeks.

“Oh, that…” he replied softly, “It’s okay. You can tell me anything.”

You swallowed before responding quietly, “Same here.”

He asked, his voice barely above a whisper, “Anything?”

You nodded, “Anything.”

A sudden silence descended, and you found yourselves looking at each other without uttering a word. Finally, you broke the stillness by playfully shoving a cookie into his mouth, aiming to lighten the heavy air between you.

“Now eat it and tell me it’s good!”

Of course he playfully acted like he was resisting just so he could hold your hand, but eventually conceded, leaving crumbs all over his cheeks and the corners of his lips. Then, there it was, the most delightful sound to his ears—your laugh.

He almost confessed at that very moment, and you nearly did the same. Yet both of you were content with how things stood, each hesitant to take a leap and face uncertainty. The chances kept coming after that but neither of you took it, unsure about each other’s true feelings, scared of each other’s what ifs.

He left your house that day with his head in the clouds and a smile playing on his lips as he remembered that moment with you. You had suggested he share them with Akao, but he secretly decided to keep them all to himself. He always had a sweet tooth but these were especially different, he almost didn’t want to eat it. It was so sweet, maybe a little too much just because you made it for him.

He continuously replayed those details in his mind, analyzing the gaps in timing, wondering what he could have said and done differently or if he should have said anything at all, just for him to come to the conclusion that you were always meant to leave, constantly seeking a means to escape, and he resented it.

“I want to get out of here. Buy myself a house big enough for me and the cats I’ll pick up from the streets. Somewhere quiet and close to nature. In the countryside or a house by the beach, maybe?”

“What about dogs?”

“Dogs? Uhh… I’d love to have dogs too but… They’re too…clingy. They follow you around, and demand a lot of affection. Plus… I’d feel bad leaving them for work or doing my own thing, you know?”

“And cats are not? You could have both and they’d keep each other company.”

“But what if they fight while I’m gone? That poor dog doesn't have claws as sharp as cats.”

“They’re loyal and they form deep bonds… That dog will forgive the cat, just so they can cuddle again after, don’t you think?”

“Hey, cats do that too in their own way! They’re just… subtle about it. But alright, point taken, Mr. Animal Planet. Where is this going?”

“Just looking for ideas.”

“About what? Pets?”

“Ha-ha, very funny. I mean ‘ten years from now’ kind of ideas.”

“Tch, you’ll be fine. You and your big brain have a whole life ahead of you.”

“Don’t you think there’s something missing with yours?”

“What do you mean? I just told you everything.”

“So that’s it? That’s your master plan?”

“Hey! Now you’re being mean!”

But he wasn’t trying to be mean. He hated how he wasn’t a part of it and couldn’t do anything about it. He hated it so much that pieces of him died when you left. He just had to convince himself that you were both too young, and what he had for you was simply a foolish teenage infatuation with shared trauma just to lessen his misery.

“What could I possibly do?” He repeatedly told himself, like a mantra of denial.

He tried to tell himself that keeping his feelings under wraps would be as simple as focusing on studying and sports, but fragments of you and the sound of your voice seemed to follow him everywhere. During late nights spent studying for exams, he found himself dwelling on your face, the way your eyebrows scrunched together when he used to help you with homework and how your face lit up—he just had to look away—when you exclaimed, “Ah! I get it!”

Going to college made everything a bit bearable. Being away from home and meeting new people gave him the chance to start over. Romance wasn’t something he was initially interested in but it came easy with the way girls threw themselves at him. Some for fun and some with the willingness to make it last. However, he was caught in this constant loop of wishing for a different reality, something familiar, somewhere with you in it.

Some distractions that were supposed to take his mind off things, brought forth memories of cozy sleepovers with you, Rion and Taro—staying up in the wee hours of the night to watch horror flicks with chips and popcorn scattered all over the carpeted living room floor. He was jealous of the pillow you tightly clung onto that he pretended to be scared just so he could squeeze himself next to you. But no horror movie could ever prepare him from the shock he felt when you got startled and snaked your arm around his own.

He frequently reminisced about the time he followed you to the kitchen to help you cook a mountain of instant noodles while the two were immersed in a game. Seizing the moment, he viewed it as a chance to get to know you more, perhaps dig some secrets just the two of you could share. He asked jokingly, “How about we play a game too? 21 questions?”

Caught up in the moment of reaching for each other’s hearts through fits of laughter and lingering stares hidden behind questions and answers, you and him couldn't help but fall silent when your chopsticks hit the bottom of the stainless steel pot and realized you had eaten the entire thing meant for the four of you. Together, you fabricated an excuse that he had unintentionally tipped the noodles into the sink.

“All of it?” asked Taro, with disbelief in his voice.

Nagumo confirmed, “Yes, all of it.”

Rion smirked, her arms crossed, “Why the swollen lips?”

“It was spicy!” You panicked and exclaimed.

Rion nodded, feigning ignorance, “Oh? I thought you two were making out.”

“So you two ate it all,” Taro deduced, before you could deny it.

“Alright, fine. Half of it spilled.” Nagumo grinned, his focus shifting to your increasingly reddening ears. Holding back a chuckle, hoping that Rion’s guess was the case.

Who would’ve thought what was initially driven by curiosity, will turn into a secret starry-eyed crush, and turn into something way deeper than that? While you thought you were seamlessly blending in the background, he could easily spot you in plain sight, like the moment he saw you again years after high school.

He was strolling along the shoreline, his hair dancing with the wind and his feet sinking into the soft sand as the waves rolled in and out of the beach. He paused periodically to capture photographs of the natural beauty around him—the sunset, the waves, until his viewfinder settled at an old couple sitting together. His smile widened as he examined his shots.

Contemplating whether to take another snap, he zoomed in. Something caught his eye. At first, he didn’t quite grasp what it was. But when he finally lowered the camera from his face and looked with his own eyes, time stood still with his heart stuck in his throat.

There you were, in his eyes, all the beauty surrounding him was compressed and stored within you alone.

How could he mistake you? Watching you from a distance was all he had known.

You were radiant as ever with your hair flowing effortlessly with the wind while the sunset painted soft kisses on your face of blush pink and orange hues, wishing it was him kissing you.

All the emotions and feelings that were interwoven with memories of you that he thought he had drowned, surfaced like it all happened hardly a day ago, making the illusion of time completely irrelevant—he could feel as if his life was starting again.

His heart raced in his chest, his breathing caught in his throat. He wanted nothing more but to go near you. But one of his colleagues called out to him, “Let’s go, man. The clients wanted to discuss something for tomorrow’s wedding over dinner.”

Nagumo mumbled reluctantly, “I’ll catch up in a bit.”

He didn’t want to go. He wanted to come over to you, to ask you how you’ve been—has life been kinder to you these days? Did your plans work out the way you wanted to?

However, his thoughts were briefly interrupted again when they spoke once more, “Can I borrow your camera? It's a pain to head back to the hotel to get mine.”

He handed it over without much thought, wanting them to leave as quickly as possible.

As he gradually moved further away from the sea, he continued gazing at you, unable to tear his eyes away. You still had this pull on him—reminiscent of how the shore effortlessly tug the ocean waves back to it as if it belonged there—you had him all along.

He reasoned against moving any closer to you. You looked like you were at peace and he didn’t want to disturb you. Given all the intertwined memories you had with him, he wasn’t sure if you would be happy to see him. If only he could grasp what was going through your mind at that very moment.

He wished he could take a photo of you again. The one he had of you was outdated and hidden away. The one he took moments before his first kiss, where he foolishly believed he had messed everything up.

Luckily, he happened to have his instant camera tucked away in his pocket. But your face wasn’t in the frame anymore. This’ll do, he reassured himself as he immortalized you once again.

Interestingly enough, in the same year, an opportunity to see you again emerged. He wasted no time and rushed back home. What were the odds? Life is full of tricks, so why not make his own? He walked by a jewelry store at the airport and had an impulsive thought.

While he was well aware of the rumors circulating about him being a married man within his social circle, he neither confirmed nor denied them. He took satisfaction in keeping people on their toes. He hadn't anticipated that the whole charade would come in handy someday so he purchased a ring. He wanted to test something.

First, he had to keep his cool and keep a certain distance, he had it all planned out. Only for your face to light up in his presence, melting his facade away. Perhaps some things never change, but maybe some do—he has grown brave enough to not look away from the glow you didn’t know you had in you.

Then, he got to embrace you as you cried your heart out. He felt everything all at once, it was bittersweet. The sweetness came from you leaning onto him, but also the bitter realization that you were still broken and dealing with the pain. Still, you were unfolding your arms and letting him in, and he thought of all the trouble he was willing to go through for a second time if it meant he could hold you like this one moment more.

You mentioned the idea of leaving so he secretly slipped the picture he took of you in the pocket of your coat. He wasn’t prepared to say goodbye, but you changed your mind and he caught a glimpse of an expression he had seen from you before, something he had grown to learn—your silent calls for help. But it had become so loud, as though you were finally begging him to be drained from the pain you’ve soaked yourself in. He doubted himself for a moment, could this be a dream? But your face said otherwise, causing all the years of bottled up emotions to come pouring down in front of you.

All his feelings and pent up desires once were hidden away, now laid bare. He was now able to touch you and when your touch mirrored his own affection, he was forcefully flung back to the days of being a lovesick sixteen year old boy. He relished himself with the feeling of being truly needed by you. Except he wasn’t a boy anymore, he could only do what little he could back then. He was now willing to carry the weight with you, to bleed alongside you should you allow him.

Heaven always seemed so out of reach, but suddenly it came crashing down, knocking the breaths out of your lungs. Like a suffocating gray cloud finally freeing the two of you with its rain. What he couldn’t say, he showed. And it was desperate, like a fervent orison, hoping you could see yourself the way he sees you. But for a moment in between, greed overcame him—could it truly be unacceptable for a thought to cross his mind, that maybe, just maybe, if he clipped your wings, it’d keep you from leaving?

But the last thing he wanted was to hurt you. Even if you asked him, he wouldn’t be able to. He wanted to be your solace, not a means of escape and not someone you felt compelled to flee from. He’d squeeze himself through the smallest eye of a needle if it meant he could fix whatever it was that needed mending, but he was just as broken as you. Perhaps you could be two torn pieces next to each other and he’d just stitch himself with you.

He held onto you tightly, whispering sweet promises while you slept. But just like sand, the stronger he grips, the faster you’d slip between the gaps of his fingers. That’s bullshit—he mused, while slipping the ring on your hand—You can leave but I’ll never let you forget about me.

He was awake when you left, unable to sleep a wink. And before getting out of bed, he rolled over, inhaling your scent on his pillow and sheets, his fingers clutching to nothing. He had already mourned the possibility of you leaving without returning when he was watching you softly and delicately sleeping next to him. You broke his heart once, he’d let you do it again, thinking he had always been yours, although it seemed like you were never his.

That was why when he opened the door after he heard a few anxious knocks, he was taken aback seeing you return, panting like you had been running. His eyes still swollen and his voice hoarse, he uttered, “You’re here.”

You’re here.

Those were also his words when he saw you again at the reunion, hoping you’d remember when it was you who said that during that one summer evening by the shore. It was close to midnight and he was feeling restless, so he decided to go for a walk. His mind wandered to earlier, thinking what could have been if he approached you. And as if his feet had a mind of its own and knew where to find you, he saw you once again. But this time, it didn’t feel like yourself, you were drunk out of your mind and dangerously close to the sea.

He rushed over to you and pulled you into his arms, your eyes squinted to get a better look at his face before letting out a soft giggle. He frowned, his frustration evident, “What do you mean ‘you’re here’?! Do you even know who I am?”

You leaned your entire weight onto him, almost hugging him with your hands clutching the back of his summer polo. Your eyes were closed with your cheek squished against his chest as you slur your words, “Of course, silly. Can’t forget that face even if I wanted to.”

His expression softened, his voice calmer, “Really now? And if I take advantage of you, then what?” murmuring how drunk you are.

You giggled, voice sounding slow, “You wouldn’t dare… You’re the sweetest…ever.”

He breathed deeply to calm himself and took everything in him to not take you back to his hotel room to keep you all to himself.

So he asked, in a firm manner, “Which hotel are you staying at? I’ll take you back there.”

“…purse…keycard…” you mumbled, grunting in between.

“What? What purse?”

Before he could get an answer you had already passed out, covering yourself with vomit in which he swiftly dodged. He grimaced, overwhelmed with disgust but quickly replaced with concern.

He was practically drenched in sweat when he reached your suite. With every step, he muttered to himself, “What the fuck am I doing… really…”

He tended to you gently, changing you out of your summer dress and wiping you down. There you were, right in front of him, and yet he couldn’t even speak to you. The thought of you not remembering him when you woke up almost sent him over the edge.

As he gently rested your head on the pillow, he took a moment to gaze at your sleeping figure. You were quiet and looked so calm while frustration welled up inside him, like something was conspiring to keep you apart. He frowned, his eyes distant, thinking, “Why can’t it just be normal between us?”

His heart ached at your words as he was pulled away from his thoughts, “Don’t go,” you murmured half asleep.

He ran his fingers through your hair, reasoning with himself that he has an early shoot the next day. Staying the night wasn’t an option either, worried that you wouldn’t be too happy about it if you woke up next to him. He spoke quietly, careful not to disturb your slumber, “I’ll be back as soon as I can, okay?”

You nodded, making his heart squeeze. He cooed, “Will you wait for me?”

A short soft hum escaped your lips as you succumbed yourself completely to sleep.

However, the next morning came and you were spooked as you tried to made sense of the situation. You had woken up wearing a fresh bathrobe, your surroundings tidy and when you stepped inside the bathroom, you found your dress from the night before, damp and hanged properly. All the empty bottles of alcohol and the sleeping pills intended for overdose were all gone.

Confused and disoriented, you left immediately without knowing Nagumo was with you that night and saved your life.

///

Your words trailed off as you took in his words, revealing everything to you, “My god, that’s a lot. I don’t- That was so embarrassing. I’m sorry-” your mind reeling with realization, you continued, “I didn’t realize… I don’t remember.”

Unconsciously, you grabbed the knife sitting on the table when he set a round vanilla cake adorned with strawberries in front of you.

He gently placed his hand on top of yours, guiding you to cut the first slice. He comforted you with a soft smile, reassuring you, “It's alright.”

The two of you held your gaze at the slice of cake in silence as he slid it in front of you before asking, your voice quiet, “Aren’t you tired of doing this, Yoichi?”

He swallowed the lump in his throat as he questioned, “Doing what?” thinking, here we go again.

With a faltering voice, you said, “This. Everything. This isn’t fair to you.”

He closed his eyes in resignation, before opening them again and asking, “When was it ever fair?”

You finally looked at him and leaned closer, almost begging, “You’ve been so good to me and all I do is- You know, with Rion and you saw it, right? You saw what was happening to me and—”

He interrupted you with a huff, his tone almost humorous, yet his expression said otherwise, “You’ve already done damage, there's nothing to ruin here anymore if it isn’t obvious already. I’m not even trying to fix you if that’s what you think this is. Maybe I’m just as fucked up as you are at this point.”

Caught off guard by his passive aggression, you paused, carefully considering your words before speaking again, “What if I get worse? You’d realize halfway you don't want anything to do with me.” You reached out and touched his forearm resting on the table, gently nudging him, the cake remained untouched.

His gaze finally met yours, frustration and sadness welling up in his eyes as he stated firmly, “Be as messed up as you want to be and I'll stay right here. I’ve seen it all and wanted you just the same, if anything, I want you even more. There’s nothing you could do to push me away anymore.”

You retracted your hand and covered your face with it, tears threatening to spill over, “It’s gonna be hard… I’m difficult. You saw it first hand and you’d eventually hate me for it.”

He shifted and pulled your chair closer to himself so he could fully face you. He gently removed your hands from your face as he lowered his voice to a gentler tone, “So what if you’re difficult? When was it ever easy anyway? It was already hard being away from you. Why stop now? We can be two fuck ups together. Is that what you want? Will that make you stay?”

Your shoulders slumped as he held both your hands, you whispered, “No, Yoichi. You’re doing great and I’m so so proud of you… I mean, look at this house and everything that’s going for you. Last night was a mistake, I’ll just make you unhappy and unsatisfied, and you don’t deserve that…”

He sighed, dismissing your concerns, “Can you for once not think about what you think is good for me, and quit being a hypocrite? You say this to me and you show me something completely different. I can’t keep doing this with you.” Taking your hands, he held them against his cheeks, leaning into the comforting warmth of your palms. With a pleading expression, he softly uttered your name, “I know you felt it, I know I did. You wanted it just as badly even though you believed I was married.”

You avoided his gaze, his last word lingering in the air. He was right. You looked at the slice of cake resting prettily on the table, contemplating the uncertainty of the situation.

He interjected, “See?” his voice seeking your eyes once more, pleading, “That didn't stop you then, so why do you keep lying to yourself?”

You smiled in reply, your lips trembling, “I have a life back there, and you have yours here. I can’t just stay here with you.”

His thumb traced comforting circles against the back of your hands as he gently reassured, “I know you’d say that. You don’t have to worry about that.”

You laughed softly, “I don’t even wanna know what you mean by that.”

He responded with a firm squeeze, his tone serious yet laced with mischief, “If you’re planning to get away from me again, I’ll follow you to the ends of earth.” Playfully, he glared, “Consider it a warning.”

A tearful chuckle escaped you as you wondered aloud, “You’re an idiot… What am I gonna do with you?”

His expression softened as he said quietly, “We can…” he then released you, carefully scooping up a small spoonful of cake and gently placing it in your mouth, gently wiping away your tears with his thumb.

“We can figure it out together. Laugh about it like we used to. And if you ever feel lonely, you can squeeze beside me. We can be lonely together… until we no longer are. Hm?”

You pondered for a while before asking him, “Don’t I have a say in this?”

“Nope, you’re out of turns,” He answered almost immediately, shaking his head with a grin, “I already let you have your way and I didn’t complain, and it went shit.”

“So you went ahead and tricked me instead?”

“Well,” he shrugged, back to his usual smug grin, “You always fall for it.”

You scoffed at him before chuckling as you playfully pushed a spoonful against his nose and then shoved it straight into his mouth, both of you sharing a hearty laugh with tears in your eyes.

Despite the fact of it being familiar, you never really acquired the taste for desserts. But as you let the smoothness melt in your mouth, you pondered—you can always learn to love the sweetness of it, to get used to it. And then indulging yourself and giving in to it may not be so bad after all.

ACT ## (extras)

INT. COFFEE SHOP – SUMMER

OSARAGI is scrolling through instagram, enjoying iced coffee with SHISHIBA on a hot afternoon.

OSARAGI

(gasped)

Hey, I think Nagumo just got married.

SHISHIBA

(skeptical)

Is that so?

OSARAGI

(showing her phone screen)

Look, he never updates his instagram. This is his first time ever, so it must be real. And oh, a beach wedding.

OSARAGI (CONT’D)

(cringing)

There's also a ridiculously cheesy caption under it, claiming he has finally found his ‘my heart’s only beat’ on a tropical island.

SHISHIBA

I didn’t see him as the type to say such… clichés.

Everyone, even Nagumo, believed the news. The exception being Sakamoto.

a/n: if you made it this far, idk what to tell you but congrats???for putting up???with me???? (esp with the first two chap…i cringe to some parts of it but ehhhhh oh well lmao) and thank you so so so so much for reading. ♥︎ the amount of revisions i did for over a month fried my brain a little methinks…yeah please kiss me on the forehead…platonically? romantically? sexually??? i don’t mind

epilogue? maybe. when? idk. therapy? YES (─‿‿─)

PS. if you see me getting manipulated by a 6��3 tall dude with jet black hair and tattoos, don’t save me. i’m right where i want to be.

#queued post #nagumo x reader #nagumo yoichi x you #nagumo yoichi x reader #nagumo x you #nagumo yoichi #nagumo yoichi fanfic #nagumo #sakamoto days #sakamoto days fanfic #🕷️.fic—nagumo

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hyeahgaku · 3 months ago

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CHARACTER PROFILE ⑳

NAME: 赤尾リオン → Rion Akao

CAREER: She was Sakamoto's & Nagumo's classmate at the JCC, and Akira's aunt. She possessed an exceptional sense for killing and was particularly skilled with weapons. Her death still remains a mystery.

DATA:

Height: 180 cm

Weight: unknown

Age: unknown

Birthday: October 21 [revealed recently]

Zodiac sign: Libra

Rion’s quote: “I don't mind killing my own heart if it means protecting Akira.”

→ A STRONG, TOMBOYISH TROUBLEMAKER?! (*Kanji used was problem child, lol)

Rion is a very laid-back and fearless woman. While she was studying at the JCC, she frequently hung out with Sakamoto & Nagumo and they often got into trouble.

→ ABLE TO SEE PATHS TO KILL HER OPPONENT!

Rion's eyes can see the pathway to kill! This ability allows her to take future actions and moves efficiently to corner her opponent!!

→ SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD, BUT SHE RESIDES INSIDE SLUR?!

Slur's personality completely changed after he was attacked! His tone, movements, and thoughts suddenly became those of Rion...!? Both Sakamoto and Akira were utterly confused upon witnessing that.

#サカモトデイズ #SAKAMOTO DAYS #sakadays #official media #akao rion #rion akao #sakadays official character profile #wsj extra #jaen

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skylardoesthings · 5 months ago

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PLEASE DOOOOO drop more or elaborate your hcs I'm starting to feel the eiliea illness creeping back up so might as well (the illness was never gone in the first place) also just realized your blog title. handshaking u on that we are in this asylum together 🤝 - @kumagorosh

LMFAO??? Yeah guys, im ill abt these guys, its funny that theyre not my favourite characters though.

Anyways i hope you like my insane ramblings, this is gonna be REALLY long so, you can see em all under the cut 👍

For the "in go, to the public Kiyama is Kira Hiroto, to his friends and family, hes Kiyama Tatsuya" hc, the reason why they found out his name is Tatsuya is because of Touko. No one knows how she found out, all they know is that one day during summer she appeared, saw Kiyama and went "HEY TATSUYA!" And watched him panic,

Inazuma Japan noticed that Kiyama and Mido sometimes tend to not answer them whenever they say their names, so they would say their alien names. When the two do reply by their alien names, they would yell "WRONG TRY AGAIN!" bc they are Not Gran and Reize anymore and they have to learn to not reply to those names

As for "The reason why InaJap was so nice to kimido was because of Dark Emperors" hc, it sorta came to me out of the blue while rewatching s3, Mido and Kaze are good freinds despite aliea and my hc is that is the reason why everyone warmed up to them – if DE didn't happen, Kaze wouldn't feel like he understood what Reize had to go through ans that feeling of inadequicy that followed them, if this makes any sense. (Note; if DE didn't happen, they would've either A. Not even be a part of InaJap or B. Be a part of it and get treated like outcasts, kinda like Fudou.)

Also all the sun garden kids, areori or og, knows how to fight btw. Og sun garden is just, better and stronger because of the Aliea Meteorite

ALSO BTW. This is game canon but like, aliea???! Is so fucked up in the games? Like Seijirou rlly was going to sell those kids as weapons of war and we went "wow, normal IE stuff." And Garshield too. Like what the hell

Anyways back to the hcs; Demonio, Kiyama, and Ronijo are friends! "How so?" You might ask, its the child experiments.

Prominence is very used to the heat and prefers it, they hate the cold.

Diamond Dust player, menawhile are the opposite, whenever it snows Hitomiko always has to remind them that they're human and need to be warm, so "Don't go outside without gloves or jackets–!" And they absolutely hate the heat.

Ok this is just semi canon bcz mido, but Gemini Storm totally has a inferior complex.

This is dubiously canon? But all of Eisei are on given name status with each other, and for the og cast, they're still a bit to awkward (well, more like strangers) with each other to do that, but in go they totally call each other by their given names

Ok now for my hyper specific hc where i have no idea where this came from but its something i like and kept

Reina is a psychologist! Maki is a nurse, why? Because honestly, with the way they grew up, they were probably frustrated a lot by all these different things would probably want to help themselves and others. Why them specifically? Idfk it just happened. Same thing with Mutou being a techie, Nagumo being a choach to bunch of kids (like handa in canon), and a bunch of other stuff

Ngl, my hc is that all the Kira's were probably in the spotlight post-aliea, so the hc that Shuugo probably lost a of friends when he was a kid was born,

Which takes me to the hc that he loves his friends and family. He's not ashamed to be a Kira, he holds so much pride for being one. One of his goal's for when hes an adult is to probably just make something for himself, be someone he himself could be proud of,

I honestly have ZERO idea where i got my "Kiyama sees a lot of himself in Kariya" hc, but i think it was when i was rewatching s2 and went "wow thid guy has a lot of similar mannarisms as Kariya" whenever i saw covert Kiyama+Gran

Which takes me to the, "Shuugo and Kariya are just mini versions of the aliea captains" hc, which is mostly by mannerisms. They probably unconsciously mimicked them or just adopted it into the way they do things or smthn idk. Hitomiko finds this adorable.

Ehm. Here's some of Shuugo and Kariya actually why not, mostly shuugo because... he's my favourite.

The whole "they're complete opposites of each other" bit is mostly based on my other headcanons, but also from Shuugo's recruitment needs + kariya's canon behaviour. (shuugo's talks for the both of them, and kariya in turn, insults people for fun)

Shuugo likes to fist-fight people btw, he's nice and calm, but he has anger issues, and when someone pisses him off bad he'd start fist-fighting people, which is pretty often. (Kariya in turn, gaslight people. for fun. like father like son, I guess?)

Nagumo taught both Shuugo and Kariya curse words.

Shuugo was the one who came up with the idea of Masaki transferring to Raimon (the moment he joined the soccer club, shuugo went through all five stages of grief at once)

oh yeah kariya and shuugo have a sibling-like relationship. idk if you can tell from all the previous hcs.

literally no one knew that they know each other, so one day during the match of raimon 1gun vs raimon 2gun in s1 of go, they started talking to each other post-match and everyone was just "????? since when ???" and the revelation that kariya is an orphan and shuugo knows him because his cousin(??) is the "owner" of the orphanage opened,

also because of kariya and shuugo knowing each other, the two of them (along with ichino and aoyama!) sorta become the bridge between raimon 1gun and raimon 2gun! they have a lot more joint practises and team 2 are able to play in official/friendly matches!

Also fun fact, Shuugo was supposed to have a character arc similar to Hikaru's when he was first introduced in the sequel for go s1, aka, Chrono Stone, but as we can see that never happened. Anyways, i totally do NOT have a whole ass plot and am writing a fic of this for myself. nope, Nuh-uh.

(i am, i just stopped writing it cause i got stuck with a bit I cannot write to save my life :sob:)

wow this is. really long, i am so sorry if this makes no sense, and I'm sorry in general.

#inazuma eleven #ty for the ask <3 #kumagorosh #Sky rambles #THIS IS LIKE REALLY FUCKING LONG I AM SO SORRY #aliea gakuen #kariya masaki #kira shuugo #kiyama hiroto #kiyama tatsuya #<- only tagging those guys cause theyre the ones i talk about the most #but honestly. if you just drop a random sun garden kid's name either their actual or alien name. chances are i have hcs for them #guys i am sane i SWEAR

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yakuzabrainrotlive · 2 months ago

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I've been making.... decent progress with the plot of Y6. But honestly, I've just been grinding a TON. Like... I just started chapter 5 and I'm close to purchasing Tiger Drop already, just need a few more points 🙏🏻

This section was basically just this comment:

I can already tell this game is gonna BREAK me. I've just been going "oooooh" and "awwww 🥺" at Kiryu interacting with Haruto, realizing this is a Yakuza game and and just feeling terrified.

If you people knew how many screenshots I have of Kiryu ALONE, you'd be shocked. Combine that number with the Kiryu + Haruto screenshots and you'd all think I need therapy.

This guy. UGH. He was trying SO hard to get under Kiryu's skin. I don't know why, but I'd bet all of my toes that he's not on our side. I THINK he's working with a foreign mafia group and trying to become chairman and he had SOME part in Haruka's accident.

This whole scene I was going back and forth between "KIRYU I UNDERSTAND BUT PLEASE, LET'S THINK ABOUT THIS" and "THAT'S SO VALID, KING. LET'S GO!!". Props to Akiyama for trying to be a voice of reason here.

I do think Kiryu's actions are valid and I understand them because Haruka and him both have seen how awful the system can be. It was a very impulsive decision, but that's just how Kiryu is.

This reminded me of Rikiya so much... I wonder how Kiryu felt in this situation, he was devastated when Rikiya died.

I really disliked Nagumo at first. He did start to grow on me when he stopped being all "STAY AWAY FROM MY WOMAN YOU AWFUL OUTSIDER" and his real personality started to show. I really like his underlings, they're hilarious.

Also... Kiryu. I know you don't want people calling you 'Aniki' anymore, but. You had this coming 100% after going around saving Yakuza and constantly throwing yourself into these conflicts. I know Kiryu has a savior complex and all that, but this is on him. Sorry, king.

This guy really reminded me of my late grandpa. He snuck out of the hospital multiple times (after a heart attack and a stroke) and walked ~30 miles (50km) to get back home. In Finnish winter. He also didn't like sitting around at all. And just... this whole demeanor, attitude and speech style. It was almost uncanny.

Kiryu. Haruto is your daughter's kid (based on current knowledge). That's your grandson. You're his grandpa. I know that might start a crisis for you, but it is what it is.

...Babygirl. WHEN have you ever truly known what you're doing? You've done a whole lot of thinking you know what you're doing, but... nah. Sorry.

"All the Yakuza in Hiroshima will come after you!!"

Kiryu:

It's truly not his first rodeo and it probably won't be his last. You'd have to say every Yakuza in the country is coming after him to get even a slight reaction out of this man.

THANK YOU, NAGUMO 🙏🏻. Finally someone else questions this as well. I'm a firm 'Haruto is not Haruka's biological child' truther until proven otherwise.

This was an incredible scene. Kiryu laughing along with others gave me a massive burst of serotonin. This happiness will keep me going for a long time.

#yakuza 6 #yakuza thoughts #yakuza spoilers #yakuza 6 spoilers

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herringstrait · 2 months ago

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keep trying to write fics where Nagumo gets a hug but he refuses to work with me. Won't accept one unless it's from Akao. haaah... well if she's not in this world anymore, what am i supposed to do? how frustrating. stubborn like a child even now

#fighting with my pov charas #skdy ramblings #spoilers #and I find myself giving in #writing more AUs where Akao's there after all #it's easier than fighting #I miss her too

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thakgayihunyaar · 2 months ago

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there's a glint in his eyes. as he stares at his friend play with his daughter, falling to the ground in pain as she gleefully mentions she put poison in his tea, there's a glint in nagumo's eyes. he wonders what it feels like. a child's love. wonders what it's like to come home to a family and not an empty house.

there's a glint in nagumo's eyes. an ache he's been nurturing. he wonders if he'll ever get out. if he'll even survive it.

#man i love putting men in sad situations with vague descriptions #leaves so much room for interpretation #sakamoto days #nagumo yoichi #i'm kinda forgetting these characters now that i've been out of it for so long

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hopeymchope · 3 months ago

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"Arifueta: From Commonplace to World's Strongest" is some pedo-tastic bullshit

So yeeaaaah, I tried to watch “Arifueta: From Commonplace to the World’s Strongest.”

The lead character, Hajime Nagumo, is evidently 17-going-on-18 years old, though that's not exactly clear from the jump. We just rapidly learn that he and his classmates were summoned to another world to serve as its heroes, and their teacher was pulled over here along with them. The age of the "class" is not discussed, but this is an anime, so the odds of it being a high school class are like 70-75% even before that's confirmed. :P

Nagumo isn't much of a combatant initally, so some of the class sees him as a liability. During a trip into a nearby dungoen, one of those classmates hits him with an attack that knocks him off a bridge and down into the super-dangerous lower levels... though he doesn't see who does it, and the rest of the class misses how it happens. It's down there that he gets his arm ripped off and eaten by a giant beast, but he narrowly escapes into an underground cavern containing a small spring of healing holy water. And so his journey to increasing his strength until he can claw his way back to the surface begins.

One arm is enough as long as you also have a super-powered gun in that arm.

So it started off promising - good emotional hook, exciting action and such. You can't help but root for a guy who's betrayed by a colleague/classmate, left to rot in the depths of a dungeon where only his seething rage drives him forward as he's forced to subsist on disgusting monster meat and scrap his way into being stronger.

Despite the strong setup out of the gate, it isn't long at all before the seeds of the show's downfall are planted. In episode 2, Nagumo meets his first companion on his journey— a centuries-old vampire princess who looks and sounds like a little girl, whom takes the name "Yue." The books apparently claim that Yue looks 12 years old, but in the anime she is literally less than half of his size and talks in a tiny girl voice, so I’d say it’d be super generous to say she looks more like 10. (Realistically? 7 or 8.)

For the record, Nagumo (left) is only 5'7" / 175 cm.

This would be fine — a child vampire companion could be amusing, sure. By episode four, however, it becomes clear that she’s going to be FREQUENTLY naked for no fucking reason.

PUT SOME GODDAMNED CLOTHES ON

And then, not longer thereafter, he locks lips with her.

What the FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

This happened in the middle of a fight with a monster, when she was about to give up, so I thought "Maybe he's just manipulating her because she's clearly got a crush on him, using this to motivate her???" I can't believe I kept any kind of faith that this could get better, but that was my thought process.

By episode 5, it's clear that her nudity habit is turning our "hero" on. I was, at this point, basically ready to give up. Too fucking gross. But I was mid-workout while watching, and I didn't want to have to stop to find something new, so I just hoped I wouldn't have to endure any more of this shit.

And then, at the start of episode 6, he’s calling her “sexy” and “hot” and I AM FUCKING *OUT OF HERE*. That's THREE STRIKES, you sick fucks. I paused my workout to change the show, because I couldn't handle being exposed to any more of this.

Holy shit - can’t remember ever seeing such blatant paedophilic propaganda???? I've heard rumors over the years that such things exist in the dark corners of anime — seen jokes that anime uses "this character is secretly ancient to justify sexualizing children — but I've never seen it myself before now. And here it is: Exactly that trope. But to encounter it in such a mainstream anime!!! This is like a hit isekai show about to enter its third season!!

So yeah, this is less of a "review" and more of a "warning" as well as a "How the FUCK are we all not screaming in abject horror at this series?!" inquiry. I only made it past four episodes before I realized this is just fodder for pedos. There is no other benefit — not that there COULD be any that would outweight that sickness.

Oh, and GUESS FUCKING WHAT??

Turns out there’s a timeskip later on where we jump forward to where the hero is 23 years old! And, being a vampire, Yue naturally doesn’t age at all during that time!!! They remain romantically entangled regardless!!! FUCKING WUT 🤢

#arifueta #arifueta: from commonplace to world's strongest #anime #anime reviews

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fierce-little-miana · 10 months ago

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I really like your fic and I'm love how you do Chizuru and Kaoru relationship. I must admit I'm was very disappointed with how they handle Kaoru in the game, like no kidding he did horrible things and wanted to make his sister suffer but at the same he was a victim of abuse. I wanted a route for him - platonic of course - where he and Chizuru would make up or at least come to a understanding

Thank you so much for the kind words about my fic. It is always super nice to hear some feedback on it. If you like how it focuses on the Kaoru&Chizuru relationship you might have a nice surprise in the coming days (provided that you do not hate modern AU).

I perfectly understand your frustration with how Kaoru was treated in the game (though I am even more frustrated by how he was dispatched in the movie!).

I have only finished Okita's route (good ending only - I don't have enough time to play right now) in the Hakuoki: Stories of the Shinsengumi version, but I am super eager to receive my copy of the Switch version so I can play Sannan's route and the other one (Yamazaki? Sakamoto?) in which Kaoru plays an important role. I want more Kaoru content!

That being said, I did not find the content I got in Okita's route to be frustrating at all. I think Kaoru is a well-written and coherent character in it. He is not sane, he does horrible things, his goals are megalomaniac and very probably unachievable even if everything went as he wanted, but it all makes sense. He can't come back from what happened to him, he is stuck in a headlong rush. There is no escape. He is a well-executed tragic character.

I love tragedy so I love Kaoru. I love him even more because having him as a villain sort of anchors Okita's route as a route deeply centered on Chizuru and since she is sort of the main character you know… Well, narratively the oppositions "ChizuruVsKaoru" and "OkitaVsKaoru" are super interesting to me.

So I don’t mind that Kaoru is a tragic character who could not escape his cruel fate. Even if some days I believe that there was a short window in which he could have been brought back toward the light (I might write a fic about this idea one day). Other days I truly believe that Kaoru was too far gone the minute he decided to take control of the Nagumo clan to ever come back from the path he had decided to travel.

(This is basically me about Kaoru)

But I totally agree with you about something super important: Kaoru is without a doubt a victim of abuse (child abuse from when he was seven, and the game is not clear on when this stopped, sometime before the beginning of the game? sometime in 1864 taking advantage of the political turmoil in Tosa han?) that might very well have a sexual and scientific experimental dimension. That abuse ended in blood when Kaoru killed every authority figure in the Nagumo clan that wasn't him. Generally speaking every important character in the game is more or less given a redemptive action (even if that one action does not rehabilitate the entire character) that sort of acknowledges a "what could have been" scenario. Kaoru is not given that grace. The thing that comes the closest to this is his conversation in the forest by the Yukimura village with Chizuru after she has regained her memory. He is calm and apparently open during it but he is still hellbent on his "evil" plan and, for Chizuru, this conversation is more a corruption offer than a redemptive gesture from her brother. Plus we discover later that he is still lying to her about things at this point (notably about her being able to "keep" Okita).

Having the poster child for horrifying child abuse being among the very few irredeemable characters is… a choice? As I said, Kaoru’s character is well-written and coherent but the optics of that are not super good.

I too would very much enjoy a sibling (platonic) route that would explore their relationship and Chizuru oni’s heritage. Also, but this is because I am fucked up stories enjoyer, Kaoru’s route bad end could be a non-platonic ending. A bit on the same tone as Shiraishi’s Adonis Ending in Collar x Malice in which he is still with Hoshino but both characters are merely nightmarish shells (or everything they feared they could become) of what they were before.

#hakuouki #hakuoki #nagumo kaoru #yukimura chizuru #yukimura kaoru #anon ask #the twins #i am a simple woman I see en irredeemable goblin with a tragic arc and he becomes one of my faves immediately

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fuwapower-prettycure · 1 year ago

Photo

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49867744/chapters/125887903

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: プリキュア | PreCure | Pretty Cure Series Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Original Female Character(s) & Original Female Character(s), Original Female Character(s) & Original Male Character(s) Characters: Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s), Original Child Character(s), Original Non-Human Character(s), Original Animal Character(s) Additional Tags: Pretty Cure Fan Series, Digital Art, Magical Girls, Female Friendship, Middle School, Junior High, Tumblr, Cross-Posted on Tumblr

Summary:

Mochizuki Maika, an energetic 13-year-old moves into Fuwayama City with big hopes for her new school. On her first day in the on-campus dormitories, she meets a mysterious old woman named Yumeno Eiko. Maika believes her day couldn’t get any better but when Ms.Yumeno suddenly runs off, she finds herself in a magical plight as two fairies named Nighty and Twyla appear looking for her friend!

When they reach Eiko, Maika learns that Fuwayama has been invaded by an evil army called the Dream Eaters—and their first target is Yumeno?!

With nowhere to run and her friends in danger, Maika awakens a powerful clock that only activates for a legendary Pretty Cure! With the new power of Cure Reverie, she learns about the Sweet Dream Kingdom where Nighty, Twyla, and Yumeno came from. Their Queen was defeated and replaced by an evil empress who has come to earth to steal a magic called Yumeki!

Joined by Hirano Kirari, Asahara Kotomi, and Nagumo Sara, The Fuwa Power☆Pretty Cure is formed to find the scattered pieces of the powerful Dreaming Candle in order to defeat the Dream Eaters and protect the Yumeki of people everywhere!

~☆~

IT’S FINALLY HERE!!! I’m so excited to share my writing with y’all, I hope you like it! There’s the title card up here and a ‘lil surprise picture at the end.

Wakey-Wakey! It’s Fuwa Power time♡

#magical girl #precure fanseries #precure #pretty cure #pretty cure fanseries #magical girl oc #oc artwork #oc writing #magical girl mascot #fancure

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akimoroll · 1 month ago

Text

the day you said goodnight

yoichi nagumo (sakamoto days) x afab!reader—wc 2.1k—read on ao3

tags—married couple. domestic fluff. angst. false pregnancies. disease. death. hurt/no comfort.

this is me procrastinating the last(?) chapter of the other fic lmao

on loop while writing this: clair de lune - johann debussy┊the day you said goodnight - hale┊only - lee hi┊A POTION FOR LOVE - AURORA (mostly this one)

“Are you killing people again?”

“What? No!” He chuckled, placing a hand over your own, “Why’d you ask?”

You searched his face before speaking, “Your eyes look tired lately.”

He gave your hand a little nudge, “I’ve been working late nights, remember?” He reassured you and went back to eating dinner.

You continue yours as well. After a few spoonfuls and glass clinkings, “By the way, I think I’m pregnant this time,” you announced.

“Is that so?” His voice turned muffled after stuffing his face with rice, “you feeling nauseous again?”

You leaned back to your chair, pondering, “Yeah, my period is late too. I’ll take a test first thing tomorrow,” you smiled at him with sparkles in your eyes.

He nodded as he returned a smile to you.

The two of you had been actively trying to conceive a child ever since he retired from his life as an assassin, settling down and moving far away from his previous life. Routine check-ups had become a regular occurrence. However, despite your attempts, he always refused to let you speak to the doctor, claiming he “didn't want to stress you out”.

Nonetheless, you trusted Yoichi wholeheartedly, your husband and the only person whom you hold dear to your heart, the one who saved you from the people who put you through an unspeakable kind of hell. And although it wasn’t his responsibility to look after you—considering you were a miscalculation in that specific assignment—he couldn’t help it. This decision led him to foster a friendship with you that eventually blossomed into love.

All he asked of you was that you would take good care of yourself and religiously follow the regimen of pills the doctor prescribed to ensure your health.

Initially, he began working remotely to assist you at home, until he took all the responsibilities around the house. He started learning to cook healthier meals and then for some odd reason, he began putting labels on things around the house. He also took out all the things from the overhead shelves, built another so he could lower them down to make everything accessible for you. You protested at first: I’m not senile, I’m trying to be a mother! And he would laugh as he embraced you from the back, saying: I know and I’m trying to be a good husband… and father.

He noticed your complaints on nights you couldn’t sleep, prompting him to install blackout curtains and switching the mattress into something softer. He took you for walks to lessen your afternoon naps. Being in the countryside, you were closer to nature, helping you both to relax and be away from the city’s anxiety-inducing hustle and bustle.

And on days you couldn’t go out, he would play board games with you or watch movies in the living room, or sit in comfortable silence and read a book on the balcony that was seated above the garden that he learned to meticulously tend so he could make flowers bloom for you. And when he would piss you off from his incessant teasing the night before, he would sneakily pick flowers and put it on your nightstand while you’re still asleep, hoping it would soften your mood and make you forgive him; maybe even laugh about it together over tea.

However, marriage isn’t all bliss and serenity. There were times that doubts began to nag at your mind, suspicions arise that he might be hiding something. There were nights where he was convinced you were peacefully asleep, and you would catch sight of him crying alone in the living room. And everytime you attempted to talk to him about it over breakfast, he would always come up with a stupid excuse like: I was watching a movie.

Being intimate wasn’t such a big deal until he started lacking initiative and on days you yearned for his touch, he would decline saying that you should rest instead. And then you’d ask, how am I supposed to get pregnant like this? He was always sweet about it as he wrapped his strong arms around you, telling you: let’s focus on keeping you healthy first, alright?

Why? Is there something wrong with me? Are you not telling me something?

No, you’re perfect—he would always say with the sweetest tone of voice—I just don’t want you to experience complications when the baby arrives, that’s all. And he would kiss you so tenderly and you would always believe him.

But you noticed the hospital visits started becoming a little too frequent and you were clueless and in the dark, causing you to feel uneasiness. And when you asked him about it he said, “You told me you were having trouble breathing, right?”

“Yeah, I did say that,” you nodded, trying to recall it.

“I’m sure it’s nothing. Don’t worry,” he reassured, placing a hand on your lap and the other on the steering wheel as he kept his eyes on the road.

Frequent hospital visits turned into a full on hospital stay, causing you more distress. But he made sure to make everything feel familiar by bringing things from your house to your hospital room. However, everything still felt so confusing for you—all his answers were vague, making it difficult for you to piece it together.

“Why am I here? Am I giving birth already?” You worriedly asked as you watched him saunter around the room, making the place homey for you, “I don’t feel pain at all. I don’t even have a baby bump yet. Please, I wanna go home,” you continued.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he cooed as he glanced at you for a moment before continuing, “This is so we can make sure that you’re being taken care of closely.”

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier? I kept asking and asking and you never answered properly,” you voiced out in distress.

“I already–” he paused and walked over to you, sitting beside you on the bed, your hands in his, “I’m sorry. You don’t have to worry about a thing, alright?” He comforted you.

Reluctantly, you nod. But in your head, you knew he was hiding something. You had noticed a new watchful patience in him every time you had something to say. The changes in him made you brave to ask the real questions on his next visit.

“So which one is it?”

He looked over his shoulder for a moment before putting freshly picked flowers on the vase, “Which one is what?”

Taking a deep breath, you asked, “Are you killing again?”

He paused and went over to you, attempting to hold you but you pulled away. It had gotten annoying how he had been treating you like a child lately, “Or are you cheating on me?”

You could almost see the resignation in him as he closed his eyes, trying his best to maintain his composure, “Darling, you sleep a lot these days. I’m always with you.”

“You keep lying to me,” you hissed, “And why are you calling me darling? You never call me that, ever.”

“Listen, I got everything under control. I told you worrying isn’t good for you. Don’t you trust me?” He pleaded and you could see his tears welling up.

But you couldn’t feel anything other than betrayal, having been in the dark for so long and still in the shadows, you deadpanned, “No, I don’t trust you anymore. Please get out. I want to rest.”

That was the first time you had witnessed him breakdown before your eyes leaving you more confused than sorry. Because why was he the one crying when you were the one being lied to?

Asking yourself: Is he tired of me?

Every time he made a visit, the same tedious conversation kept replaying, as if the man you had fallen in love with was fading right in front of your eyes with each passing moment. A disconnect between you began to settle in—it seemed as if he was a complete stranger now, and the pain felt like no other.

///

You strolled in silence along the tranquil garden located within the hospital’s vicinity and despite the lovely weather and the flowers blooming around you, you couldn’t shake off the overwhelming sadness surrounding your situation. You began sharing your sentiments to the medical personnel attending to you, “I miss home.”

After walking around for a few minutes, you settled under the shade of a large aged tree and noticed an elderly man, likely in his sixties, sitting while holding a familiar book. He offered a warm smile in your direction as you sat a few inches from him on an old wooden bench.

“Have you read this one?” He abruptly asked.

You looked at the cover briefly, “I think so, yes.”

“This is my wife’s. They say if you read someone’s favorite book, it could help you understand them better.”

You chuckled, “That might be true. Is your wife here too?”

“She is. We almost live here now,” he joked.

“Your wife is quite lucky, mister. My husband doesn’t visit me anymore. He’s probably out there tired of me. He told me I was always asleep… but I never sleep.” you softly said with eyes far away.

The old man looked at you with a gloomy expression before flashing a gentle smile and kindly offered, "I’ll be your visitor, if you don’t mind, of course."

And he did visit you. He would bring books from his wife’s library and read them to you as you fell asleep to the sound of his voice. His most captivating stories were about his younger years with his best pals, you could tell he loved them dearly. He would challenge you to guess his former profession based on his tales alone, promising a reward if you guessed correctly (you never did).

Playing cards and board games was his thing too. He was hilarious, you had to suppress your laugh most of the time because it started to hurt when it’s too much. But laughter wasn't the only thing you held back in his presence, but tears as well when he finally spoke about his wife—the woman he claimed to have loved the most. He spoke of her with so much fondness yet in a distant and melancholic manner, saying that she was an angel who had unconditionally loved a troubled man like himself. And when you asked him what he meant by "a man like him", he simply smiled somberly in response.

You were puzzled with his words because he seemed to be a wholesome and cheerful man. And despite his age, he possessed striking good looks. Avoiding any prying questions, you instead expressed appreciation for him despite not having known him for so long, you found a friend and a father in him, telling him you’ve never met yours.

After listening to you, he shared a bittersweet smile before quickly shifting to a playful expression, telling you, "Hey, you've got something on your hair."

His hand extended and gently brushed the side of your face before reappearing in front of you, holding a freshly picked flower, a sakurasou, delicately pinched between his tattooed fingers.

Huh?

You both chuckled as he handed it to you. When you glanced up to him, you were certain you caught a fleeting glimpse of your husband’s face. Your smile gradually dropped as your breathing began increasingly labored.

“What’s wrong? Are you alright?” He asked softly with concern, his voice sounded distorted in your ears.

Before you could reply, you felt a stab like pain in your chest, slowly spreading through your neck and jaw. A blur of movement caught your attention as he bolted out of the room to ask for help. Soon after, the door swung open as your husband came rushing towards you. He held your wrinkled hand, telling you: Stay with me. It’s going to be okay.

His voice continually echoed apologies along with desperate I love yous, and you wish you could say it back and ask, where were you? I was waiting for you. I missed you so much. I was wrong for ever doubting you. However, everything was starting to slow down around you as you step in and out of consciousness, feeling extreme fatigue and sluggish all of a sudden.

Your husband's grip was abruptly severed as medical staff swarmed around you, the chaos overwhelming your senses. The only thing you could discern was the old man’s cry and pleading. As you began to feel the curtains of life closing in, you couldn’t help but realize that you missed the chance to tell the elderly man how grateful you are for helping you see your husband’s boundless love and the depth of his devotion for you.

You didn’t even ask for his name.

Or did you? You couldn’t remember.

Oh, wait. You did.

He had a pretty name.

His name was Yoichi too.

the floral language of sakurasou or japanese primrose is “desire” and “long-lasting love“. it also implies first love, youthful love, and longing.

#🕷️.fic—nagumo #nagumo x reader #nagumo yoichi fanfic #nagumo yoichi x reader #nagumo yoichi x you #nagumo x you #nagumo yoichi #nagumo #married couple #domestic fluff #false pregnancies #disease #angst #hurt/no comfort #death

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