#child!nagumo

[chameleonwritess]

Koga and Tetora should make clothes that say “the senior I had a giant crush on was already taken by Keito Hasumi and all I got was this lousy shirt”

[habibisagi]

i heart whimsical masochists. silly freaks. you draw blood from them and they’re giggling. so :3 about it

[horse-girl-anthy]

From Translation Project: Revolutionary Girl Utena Script Collection Part 1

Episode 9 The Castle Said to Hold Eternity The episode depicts Touga and Saionji's childhood. The girl who lost her parents and hid in a coffin is, of course, Utena, but when they meet again at Ohtori Academy, the two are unaware of this. Speaking of which, it’s a common children’s story trope to have a protagonist who has lost both parents. I wondered, why a protagonist with such a background can easily serve as an mechanism arousing empathy (alt trans sympathy, trigger kinship, understanding) for children who has not lost their parents in real life? When we are young, our parents who protect us are absolute beings, almost like God. However, as we grow older and understand the world, we begin to realize that our parents are not Gods but are separate individuals with flaws. At this point, the parent as absolute God dies in the child's mind (alt trans; heart). In fact, we all lost our parents in a sense when we were children. We experience the moment when we have to face the world alone, after a life of dependence on our parents. (I talked about this on the phone with Saito-sensei sometime ago.) In many cases, it is that lost, non-confrontational (undifferentiated) relationship that people seek in love. A bit of a digression, but when Touga said his line at the last scene [A person who truly believes in friendship is a fool], lots of my friends started calling me up and asking ‘is that how you really feel (alt trans: do you really believe that)?’. Um… Remember (alt trans: ‘remove Remember) Revolutionary Girl Utena is fiction (laugh).

[jasminerva]

You v. Nagumo and Toddler

This is Part 2 of the Papa!Gumo series!

gn!reader co-parent

Check out Part 1 here: What kind of father would Nagumo be?

Want more? Check out my SakaDays Masterlist!

Comments, reblogs, tags appeachiated~! 🍑

Banner img from Gakuen Babysitters by Tokeino Hari.

Was having a convo with @akifordessert about Papagumo and the nicknames he'd give his kiddo(s). And thank you, Memi (@dearsecretlover) for inspo and motivation (and for sharing this Papa!gumo art by mxeong__) as always~!

But I digress! Here's the little scolding imagine I promised!

nagumo x gn!reader = gn!toddler in their terrible twos [c/n] = your toddler's name [f/n] = your first name

You: Nagumo! [c/n]! What the heck happened in the living room?! Nagumo looked around his surroundings. It was as if the usually orderly living room had two tornadoes sweep through it, an explosion of scattered toys everywhere, overturned furniture, ripped paper decorations, and colourful fingerprints adorning the walls. Nagumo & Your Toddler: (both in a kneeling position, getting scolded by you) Nagumo: (trying not to grin) [f/n], it's no biggie. Just some father-child bonding gone awry. [c/n], your rambunctious toddler, mirrored his pose perfectly beside him, eyes wide with feigned innocence that couldn't hide the sparkle of mischief dancing in their depths. Nagumo couldn't help but feel a swell of pride at his miniature accomplice's acting skills. You: Oh, really? Father-child? But I only see two children in front of me. Nagumo: Now, now! (holds hands up) See? No paint on my hands. (wiggles digits) Clearly, I'm just an innocent bystander here. You: Yeah, that doesn't help your case. You're the adult in this disorderly duo, or did you forget? Nagumo: I suppose cleaning duty falls upon us two, hmm? Let's clean up this mess before it becomes an international incident. He cast a conspiratorial wink at your toddler, who giggled delightedly at being included in their imaginary fellowship against their ever-so-serious parent. You: (sighs) Nagumo... I'm sick of having to be the mean parent--let alone adult--in this relationship. They have to learn how to clean up their own messes eventually, you know. Nagumo: You're right. We can't let them run wild like this. But it's just so hard to discipline this angelic face (tickles [c/n]'s chubby cheek, causing them to erupt into a fit of laughter, squirming happily). You: (unimpressed face) Nagumo: All right. (playful but stern enough tone) Focus, Agent [c/n], your mission, should you choose to accept it... Together, Nagumo and [c/n] tackled the mess, turning cleaning into a fun game of hide-and-seek with the scattered toys and art supplies.

Nagumo: (grabs a juice from the fridge) You: Nagumo! [c/n] doesn't need more sugar! Nagumo's grin widened into a smirk as your toddler took advantage of the situation and quickly gulped down the forbidden juice. Nagumo: Aw, shucks. Looks like we're too late. You: (narrowing eyes) If [c/n] doesn't end up learning anything, I'm going to discipline you both. In the 'mean parent' way. Nagumo: (clapping) All right, Agent [c/n]! Operation Clean Slate isn't complete until Big Boss says so. Your Toddler: (salutes and gets back to cleaning, hands and mouth sticky with juice) Nagumo: (grins and walks towards you) You know, [f/n], you were pretty convincing right then. I almost believed you'd actually punish me. You: (crosses arms) The day's still young. Nagumo: (leans down to whisper in your ear) Is that a promise?

[yvesssssssss]

A family's embrace

Years had passed since Yoichi Nagumo stepped away from his life as an assassin. The weight of his past had not disappeared entirely, but with each day, it felt lighter. And now, he had something more precious than he ever thought possible—his family.

(Name), his beloved wife, had always been the quiet force that balanced him. Her warmth and love transformed his world, bringing him peace that he had never imagined. But their story didn’t end with just the two of them. One chilly autumn morning, they welcomed their first child, a daughter named Emi. The tiny infant with her dark eyes and soft smile became the center of their world.

Yoichi found himself in unfamiliar territory. There was a joy in holding his daughter that he had never expected, a softness that tugged at his heart in ways his years as an assassin never had. He was no longer Yoichi Nagumo, the feared hitman. He was Emi’s father, and (name)'s partner, a protector in ways he’d never known before.

But the shift wasn’t always smooth. One evening, as Yoichi was playing with Emi, the doorbell rang. His instincts kicked in immediately—he rose from the couch, his body stiffening. (Name) looked at him with concern, and he quickly reassured her with a nod, though something in the pit of his stomach told him the past wasn’t done with him yet.

He opened the door cautiously, his heart racing. To his surprise, it wasn’t an enemy, but a small package—an old envelope with his name scribbled on it in faded ink. No return address. He felt (name)'s eyes on him as he opened it. Inside was a message, written in a hurried, almost frantic hand.

"We need you back."

Yoichi’s fingers tightened around the paper. He had left that life behind, but the shadows of his past had always lingered. (Name) stepped closer, placing a hand on his arm.

“Yoichi… what’s this?” she asked, her voice calm but filled with worry.

“I don’t know,” he murmured, his gaze never leaving the words. "But it doesn’t matter. I’m not that man anymore.”

(Name) could see the conflict in his eyes. She knew his past haunted him, but she also knew that the man she married was dedicated to them. She gently took Emi from his arms, her baby girl squirming in her mother’s grasp, and softly said, “Our family comes first, Yoichi. We’ve built something beautiful here. We can face whatever comes next, but we do it together.”

Yoichi closed his eyes for a moment, his heart torn. But when he looked at his family—at (name), who had always believed in him, and at Emi, who would one day look up to him—he knew that this life, this peaceful existence, was worth fighting for more than any mission or job ever had been.

He tucked the letter into his coat pocket, his hand lingering on it for a moment before turning back to his wife. “You’re right. I won’t let my past drag us back into the darkness.”

Years later, they had two more children—an energetic son named Kaito and a bright, inquisitive daughter named Aiko. The family spent days at the park, on family trips, or just enjoying quiet evenings together. And Yoichi, though he’d always be vigilant, had found a balance.

As Emi grew older, he taught her the value of discipline and self-defense, but also the importance of kindness, of family, and of knowing when to walk away from a fight. Kaito loved to watch Yoichi's old martial arts moves and begged to learn, while Aiko, with her sharp mind, always asked questions that made Yoichi laugh—questions about the world he had left behind, and the life he now led.

One peaceful evening, as Yoichi watched (name) tuck their children into bed, he realized how much his life had changed. He had once thought he was beyond redemption, a man destined to be alone, marked by blood. But now, surrounded by the warmth of his wife and children, he understood what true strength was.

(Name) joined him in the living room, her smile as serene as ever. “You’re home. For good.”

Yoichi sat down beside her, resting his hand on her shoulder. "For good," he echoed, his voice soft. He had once believed the world could only offer pain and suffering. But now, in his family, he found joy and purpose.

“I’ll always protect you all,” Yoichi whispered, his gaze soft but firm.

(Name) leaned her head on his shoulder, her fingers intertwining with his. “And we’ll always be here for you.”

For Yoichi Nagumo, the man who had once walked alone in the darkness, the light of family now filled his heart completely. And it was enough.

[akimoroll]

i won’t forget you.

yoichi nagumo x fem reader—wc 2.2k—part of a series on ao3���college/uni au. fluff and humor. reader is… idk, you tell me.

a/n: had to drain the angst in my system so i pulled up my krnb playlist and listened all day… here is the result.

[← prev] | [next →]

“Where are you taking me?” you grumbled, your annoyance evident in your voice.

Nagumo whined, holding onto your wrist firmly, “Just follow me.”

You tried to tug your wrist away but his grip remained tight, “You don't have to hold my wrist. I'm not a child,” you protested.

He clicked his tongue, “Nope, you run really fast. I'm too spent to chase you today.”

“I jog every morning,” you responded, “It helps.”

He smirked, “Yeah, yeah, and I lift. Do you want me to carry you around on my shoulders like a sack of rice?”

You paused, trying to repress a smile, “…No."

He lead you to a cozy boba place that had just opened near campus. It was modestly sized, not overly busy and decorated with soft lighting and small tables. The air was filled with the delightful scent of freshly brewed teas and other sweet treats.

As he stirred his drink with the straw, the pearls swam around the bottom of the tall plastic cup. Your gaze drifted from his drink to his eyes, silently studying him across the table.

“What's on your mind?” he inquired, giving your forehead a quick but gentle flick.

You swirled your straw in your drink, then took a sip before replying, “Your eyes are like… tapioca pearls.”

His eyes narrowed, a smirk playing on his lips, "Uh... thanks?" he said, unsure of how to respond to the oddly endearing comparison.

“That wasn't a compliment,” you deadpanned.

“What was that then?” he echoed back, now curious.

“An observation,” you replied, returning his gaze.

He rested his chin on his palm and smirked, “Speaking of observations, what do you think of me lately?”

You thought about it for a moment, your expression contemplative, “It seems you've changed your strategy.”

He raised an eyebrow, a small smile on his lips, “Strategy?”

Your mind traveled back to a conversation you had with your roommate recently, where Nagumo had come up in discussion…

“I'm speaking from experience and from what I know so far, alright?” Your roommate emphasized.

You nodded, silently acknowledging her words. She continued, “We had a thing back when I was a freshman, but it was just a silly situationship, so don't worry about it.”

You tried to keep your expression neutral, not wanting to betray a hint of curiosity, “I'm not worried. Continue.”

Your roommate chuckled sheepishly, “Yeah, so, he doesn’t date date…”

You raised an eyebrow and tilted your head to the side, slightly confused, “I’m not sure I follow. Are you implying he's more into casual relationships?”

She nodded, “Yeah, he goes around a lot and switches things up really quickly…” Her voice trailed off, leaving the implication hanging in the air.

You interjected, “How long is ‘very quickly’?”

She thought for a moment before responding, “Uh… The longest I know is two months.”

Your expression turned slightly skeptical, prompting you to question, “No girlfriends? Or boyfriends, if he goes that way too?”

She shook her head, “Not that I know of…” she gasped, “Wait… Do you like him like that?”

You paused, eyes distant, before explaining, “I’m not sure what you mean, but this feeling is similar to that time when I saw a rare card that I really wanted to add to my collection.”

She nodded understandingly, her expression serious as she provided a warning, “Okay...? Be careful though. Don’t get too attached.”

You assured her, “I won’t.”

“Still, be wary,” she warned you, “He might be luring you in. He’s quite calculated with his push and pull.”

You rambled quietly, still lost in thought, “Push and pull? He’s all pull these days. Maybe he changed his strategy? I just need to beat him at his own game.”

“What...?” she asked, her expression puzzled.

“Nothing,” you replied quickly, eager to move on.

She let it go, resuming the conversation, “You still tutor him, right?”

“Yes, ‘till before midterms,” you confirmed.

“I’m sure you’re aware he doesn’t need it…?” she inquired.

You shook your head in confusion, “What do you mean?”

“Didn’t they give you his info?”

“They did,” you confirmed, still unclear about where this was going.

“Did you not read it?”

You responded dismissively, “The brain deletes useless information… Can you just get to the point, please?”

She chuckled, finally disclosing, “He’s an Arts Major.”

///

“You're less annoying these days,” you commented.

Nagumo smiled, amused, “Ooh... am I now? Does that mean you enjoy my company?”

You retorted, “I said ‘less annoying,’ meaning, you still are…” You paused, then added, “but I do enjoy you a little.”

His expression brightened with a beaming smile.

You couldn't help but notice the tattoos on his fingers, prompting you to ask, “Did it hurt a lot?”

He smirked, initially continuing his teasing by replying, “When I fell from the sky?”

You rolled your eyes, quickly clarifying, “The tattoos.”

He caught on to your interest (finally) and set aside his teasing for a moment to respond more seriously, “Hmm, there were different levels to it. Why do you ask?”

“Just curious. Which one hurt the most?” you inquired before taking a sip from your drink.

He thought for a moment before replying, “Hmm. Here,” he gestured to the side of his neck, “And the one on my rib.”

Your eyes widened slightly, the straw lingered between your lips, thinking: Oh. There’s more.

“The ones on your hands didn’t? I thought the more it got to the bone, the more it hurt,” you mused.

“Yup, these ones too,” he confirmed, placing both of his hands flat on the table, “Looks like you did your research. You wanna get one too?”

You shook your head, firmly stating, “Not really.”

He smirked, sensing an opening for teasing, “What, you scared of the pain?”

“I mean, why would I want to put myself through that? Also, the aftercare seems like a hassle,” you explained.

He smirked and suggested, “How about something painless? Got a pen?”

You immediately voiced your skepticism, “I don’t trust you. You might draw something… inappropriate.”

He looked at you, feigning innocence, “Like what?”

“A penis.” You deadpanned.

He chuckled, protesting, “What do you take me for? Come onnnn…”

He leaned forward, trying to persuade you to allow him. Begrudgingly, you took out your pen pouch from your bag, which was stuffed with an assortment of pens, markers, and highlighters. He quickly slid it over to himself and unzipped it, ready to go over the contents.

With a smirk, he removed the cap of the fine-tip pen between his teeth. Looking at you, he teased, “Where’d you want your first tattoo placed, ma’am?”

You shrugged, responding, “What do you recommend?”

He smiled, taking your hand into his and intertwining your fingers. He pointed at your inner forearm and said confidently, “Right here.”

You smiled a bit at his actions and gave him permission, looking away to keep your composure, “Knock yourself out.”

The two of you shared a comfortable silence as he drew on your skin. Every shift of his hand on your flesh sent a flutter through your stomach, and you found yourself entranced by the way his hair cascaded over his face as his eyes sparkled with focused attention whilst working on his so-called painless tattooing service.

He abruptly spoke, his gaze still fixed on drawing on your skin, “Careful not to burn a hole in my face. Skincare is expensive.”

You raised an eyebrow, slightly confused, “What are you blabbering about?”

He smirked, “You like to stare, ‘no?”

“Humans are naturally drawn to beauty,” you murmured quietly.

A slight blush crept across his cheek, “Woah. Look at you with your pick up line,” he teased.

You shot back, “That was not a pick-up line but a fact.”

He sighed and shook his head, still smiling from ear to ear, “Alright… All done.”

You looked down at the drawing, perplexed, “What’s this supposed to be? A sunflower?”

“No...?”

He searched through your pen pouch again and retrieved your pastel highlighters. Carefully, he added touches of lavender to the petals and brightened the center with a touch of yellow, “It’s an aster flower.”

“Why this flower?” you inquired.

He paused for a moment, still smiling, before nodding towards your phone, “Look it up right now.”

You unlocked your phone and proceeded to search for the flower’s symbolism on your phone. As you read aloud the interpretations, you looked back at him with skepticism, “Wisdom? Faith and... Valor?”

He chuckled and reached for your phone, his fingers lightly brushing against yours, “Give me that,” he said with a smirk. He quickly typed in the search bar “aster japanese flower language” before handing it back to you.

You gazed at the drawing on your forearm after looking at your phone, a soft smile playing at the corners of your lips, “You won’t forget me…?”

He answered quietly, his chin resting on his palm, “Well, one of us has to remember.”

“What do you m…?”

“Nevermind.” He interrupted, quickly dismissing your train of thought. He then jokingly suggested payment for his service, “You may pay for the tattoo now, ma’am.”

“Come closer.”

He leaned in with the table between you, his eyes closed and a goofy grin playing on his lips. In a teasing tone, he said, “Very bold of you to do this right here but alright.”

He had been expecting a kiss, since that’s all you both have been doing as of late. However, when your hands reached out and gently touched the top of his head, ruffling his hair instead, he couldn’t help but feel a mix of surprise and endearment.

A headpat?

As he opened his eyes and locked gazes with you, he witnessed a tender and rare display of affection from you. He felt as though the surroundings grew hushed, and the two of you were enveloped in a private bubble. He was so tempted to cover you from the outside world, claiming this intimate expression solely for himself. Instead, he remained still, quietly cherishing each second of your touch.

Despite the many intimate experiences he’s had with others, he couldn’t have predicted that a mere headpat could do wonders to him. Maybe because it was from you.

Just when he thought his heart could finally take a breather after you took your hand away, your smile widened in appreciation as you looked down at his drawing on your forearm, speaking softly voice laced with sweetness, “You did so good. It looks very pretty.”

Then it hit him, realizing his tutor sessions with you are soon coming to an end, he was suddenly struck with an idea and asked you, “Do you wanna go see a movie with me after midterms?”

///

EXT. ROOFTOP CIG SESH – POST DINNER

“Dude, why do you keep touching your head? You got lice or something?” Akao exclaimed.

Hearing this, Sakamoto immediately took the hair tie from his wrist and pulled his hair back into a low bun.

Nagumo chuckled and replied, “You guys have not experienced loving headpats and it shows.”

Akao burst out laughing, “You've been banging girls left and right and now you're into headpats? What's next, holding hands?”

In which Nagumo retorted, “Shut up. This one’s different.”

Akao was not convinced, continued her goading, “How is it different? My bet is two weeks, max,” she then turned to Sakamoto and urged, “Place your bet, hurry.”

Sakamoto shifted his gaze to Nagumo before turning around and resting his back against the metal railings, taking a long drag from his cigarette, “Is this about your tutor?”

Akao suddenly interjected, “What do you need a tutor for?”

Nagumo beamed and responded to Sakamoto, deliberately disregarding Akao's attempt to taunt him, “Yeah. Going strong.”

Amused, Sakamoto nodded, “Nice.”

“Why is no one answering me?!” Akao raised her voice in playful protest.

“There’s this girl from a different department that I've bumped into several times for the last two years, yet she never remembers me. So I pulled some strings to get closer to her. And joke’s on you, Akao, we've been hanging out for almost two months now,” Nagumo retorted with a smug smile.

Akao cackled and mocked, “Two months? You want an award for that?” She then asked a more suggestive question, “How far have you gone with her?”

Nagumo deflected, “It doesn't matter.”

Akao chuckled and pressed, “Clocked it, y’all ain't done it yet. Man, your game’s getting weak.”

Nagumo finally quipped, “You ask too many questions. Looks like someone hasn't gotten laid lately.”

Akao released a huff and seized Nagumo in a headlock, proceeding to rub her knuckles on his head while playfully reprimanding him, “Is that how you talk to your big sister? After checking up on your brooding ass?! I even bought you groceries!”

Nagumo laughed, attempting to free himself from Akao's grip, and protested, “Stooooooop! You're erasing the headpats!” His voice strained, he added, “You’re not even that older than me!”

Sakamoto observed the two bantering like children, a subtle smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

—

EXT. CAMPUS FESTIVAL — AFTERNOON

First (one-sided) encounter. Nagumo saw you walking by and attempted to approach you.

Nagumo: Hi! You might want to try our—

You: No, thank you.

—

INT. CAMPUS — MORNING

Nagumo approaches the vending machine at the same time as you.

Nagumo: (gestures his hand) Go on ahead.

You: (inserts a coin)

Nagumo: Your usual coffee?

You: (looks) Yes.

Nagumo: Isn’t that too strong for you?

You: Not at all.

You walked away without waiting for his response.

—

EXT. NEAR SOCCER FIELD — AFTERNOON

Nagumo blocks an incoming ball.

Nagumo: You okay?

You: Yeah. Thanks. (walks off)

Nagumo: (follows you) Hey, wait up. That’s it?

You: What’s “it”?

Nagumo: You don’t remember me?

You: ...No? Sorry, I have somewhere to be.

[wannabepoeticischiya]

You swore that he made it his vow to have a reminder of his existence for your every waking moment. That you wouldn’t spend a day without saying his name or cursing it to the wind.

ao3: for affection, for acceptance pairing: nagumo x f!reader genre: romance wc: 1.6k status: one shot

Everyone in the JAA knew you as the doll.

The living, breathing, epitome of a doll.

A cold-blooded killer.

The executioner without mercy.

A human born with no emotion.

Life hasn’t always been easy for you. To be born in a family of importance meant that you had to grow into somebody worthy enough to be important. To be recognized meant to have a hundred thousand impossible feats under your belt. To be accepted meant that you had to give up all that you were, change every angle, every vision, so you could fit into their ideals. To have been all of that at the same time meant that it left no room for anything else.

No room for sadness, nor happiness.

No room for affection, nor adoration.

No room for warmth, nor love.

No room for you.

So, who does this guy think he was? To shamelessly flaunt his undermining achievement in front of your face as though he held the world in the palm of his hand. Brazen that he was, given that he could easily boast about something you could do with your eyes closed with hands tied behind your back. That he could smile so freely like he did not just brutally murder ten people with nothing but a tiny Swiss knife.

He rose the ranks quickly, far too fast for your liking given that he was a transfer from those wimpy spy department kids. And each time he got closer to where you stand, his smile would glow brighter and brighter… until one day, it shone far more brilliantly than the sun itself.

And you hated that, more so than when your boss would rush you to get the job done a day earlier.

It didn’t deter him in his advances. Why would he relent when he knew you from when your family and his were neighbors? When he would pull at your hair and stare curiously at how your face would never contort to anything beyond that blank slate. Or from when he’d lick your ice cream to see if it tasted different from his despite it being the same flavor. When he’d barge into your room so early in the morning and demand to play with him.

He was a child. An annoyingly obnoxious entitled child.

Even now, as you transcend past a decade and a half into your lives, he remained that same child.

Unrelenting. Motivated in the best way, a pest in the worst.

You swore that he made it his vow to have a reminder of his existence for your every waking moment. That you wouldn’t spend a day without saying his name or cursing it to the wind.

He never left, serving as the sole reminder of all that you’ve forsaken to reach where you are now. Yoichi, the fiend. Yoichi, your neighbor. Yoichi, your first friend.

Many times did he push you to the edge. If he asked you where you were, you’d say you’re at the end of your limit. If he asked you where you live, you’d say in the state of annoyance. If he asked if you how you were, you’d say you’re better off knowing he’d hit the grave early.

Then one day, he asked… if you felt anything for him.

And for the first time in nearly twenty long years of getting on each other’s throats, you found no words to say.  

If he asked you about your feelings, what would you say? How would you look at him? Show him the puzzle of words that you yourself found difficulty piecing together.

Many times did he provoke you into doing something, whether it would be through aggravating you to assault, or by giving you these vague questions that leave you pondering them over for days without ever knowing the correct answer.

You wanted to believe you were smart, that your intellectual capabilities were above average—or better, above his. Yet here, in this space between annoyance and familiarity, a sickeningly fragrant flower had begun to bloom… and you didn’t know what to do.

Raised to assassinate, trained to kill. That’s what you were: a killer. There was nothing more.

Was that so wrong? To live life like a machine. It seemed like common sense to you. Because no one ever taught you otherwise. No one gave you a different way to live, showed you a new path to take. Breaking your heart for every life you took looked right. Killing your happiness for the sake of others seemed noble. Giving it all up for the greater good was for the best, wasn’t it?

There was nothing beyond you except for the eyes of a murderer. There was nothing more. So why does he look at you like that? Like you were trapped and drowning, and he wanted to get you out. Like there was an entire world waiting for you behind this wall of ice. Why does Yoichi look at you like that?

You wanted to ask him. Desperately so… why? Why do you look at me, as though you could love me?

And for that one rare moment, you snapped.

Why? You’d say, letting the years of pent-up frustration and sadness fall in rivers of silver. You didn’t understand... yet, in your heart, there was no denying it.

From way back to when you were children, Yoichi had already reached his hand out for you to take. He never left because he knew, even back then… that he was the only one you had. That you’d be lost if one more thing was going to leave you, that you’d drown and never come back if you had to give up another thing for the sake of another. If you had to choose from two equally important things: your happiness or the world?

Perhaps he wanted you to be a little more selfish. To put yourself first for a change. Because you’d spent so long asking others what they want… he wanted you to ask yourself what you want. And he’d be there to pick up the pieces of a world in ruin if he gets to see you smile.

And it unnerved you so, that it took you over a score to see him. To look to him in a different light. All that he did for you, and all that you did to him when all he ever wanted was for you to see yourself. To have you love your soul… and if he was lucky, maybe you could learn to love him, too.

The universe answered his life-long wish, so it seemed.

---

You had the biggest crush on him.

Him. Nagumo Yoichi. Your next-door neighbor from your childhood days. The one who egged you into aggravated assault. The guy who'd take a thousand bullets for you. The one who'd shamelessly dress up as a girl to get you out of infiltration missions. The one who had all the patience in the world. All the happiness in the universe could offer.

Nagumo who could have had anything in the world, anyone he wanted, all at the snap of his fingers... yet he chose to stay beside you.

You had the biggest crush on Nagumo Yoichi, your husband.

Now, there was a big difference in loving someone, and having a crush on him.

Six years you've been together. Six long years, and even still, you find yourself staring at him when he's across the room. Trailing your eyes in the fiery warmth of his wake. Feeling like a thousand fireworks are exploding in your stomach, the rhythm of your heart going a beat faster, the songs they sing submerged in saturated adoration that it leaves you blushing like a high school girl.

He makes you giddy and nervous that it leaves you looking back and forth to your reflection in any shiny surface to see if you look alright.

Whenever you go out, whether it's for official business or a date, you'd struggle to find the right outfit—the perfect choice of clothes because you want to look your best for him, to have him think that you're pretty. And if you could, you'd spend forever styling your hair until every strand will never dare to go out of place ever again.

If the phone rings, the small flickering fire of hope burns into a blazing inferno, lighting up the sky with the hopes that it's him who's calling you, that it's him who's texting you.

When he's close enough to touch, near enough to hold, you just want him to lean in and kiss you.

There was no denying it, you have a crush on your husband.

And when he meets your stare, and he smiles, like there was nothing that could ever compare to you, you’d think to yourself that you’re at the luckiest you’ve ever been. Because you had him, and he had you. He loves you… and you love him.

Even now, as he sits so boyishly on the sofa, with his legs spread out so far it leaves no room for anyone else, you just can't stop staring at him.

Thinking to yourself that out of every soul in this infinite universe, you get to be his wife.

You married that guy.

Yoichi who’d dive to the depths of the sea to save you. Travel to the ends of the universe if you asked him to. Tie a lasso around the stars and bring them all to you. Count the grains of sand, tally every heartbeat that has echoed since the dawn of time, and even then, it wouldn’t be enough to tell you how much he loves you.

You married him. Yoichi… your husband, the man at the center of your planet-sized crush. You married him. He’s your husband.

They love us, you said to him back then at the day of your wedding.

Yet he simply looked to you, I love you.

And there was nothing in this world that could ever be greater than that.

it's short bcz i'm so stressed, 11 quizzes in a span of 4 days is so... evil 😭 I legitimately do not know what kind of turn this took but it's there

[yukinohiko]

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

note: do not plagiarize, repost, or recommend my writing to any other platform. this includes tumblr, tiktok, instagram, twitter, etc.

this list is by no means exhaustive. follow the tagging system to find more of my drabbles, which are buried throughout this blog and touch on various characters of various series.

enjoy reading and consider reblogging the works you particularly like. I certainly enjoy reading your comments.

♥︎ = most popular

✧ genshin impact ✧

༯ wanderer

of tea and wonders series

༯ childe (tartaglia)

blood skies

moonlit balcony

༯ zhongli

a deal with a dragon ♥︎

༯ kaeya

drinking partners

༯ alhaitham

love in images

bookkeeper's adversary - coming soon

linguistic lessons - coming soon

✧ blue lock ✧

༯ regency verse masterlist (multi-character)

༯ itoshi sae

pas de deux series (ballet au)

domesticity ✦ part one | part two | part three ♥︎

love marks ♥︎

louboutins on ice ♥︎

summer rainstorms

lovers’ day bath

operation: seduction ✦ part one | part two

peach thief (pirate au) - coming soon

༯ michael kaiser

blue flower (regency au) ✦ part one | part two

༯ itoshi rin

in the garden (wizard au) moon orchid (regency au) ✦ part one

✧ bungo stray dogs ✧

༯ dazai osamu

first portrait

✧ jujutsu kaisen ✧

༯ gojo satoru

swan song

✧ love and deepspace ✧

༯ caleb (xia yizhou)

forbidden fruit

indulgent gege ♥︎

captive bird ♥︎

roses and amnesia

there for you

intertwined gold ♥︎

love languages

kitty cards with gege

domestic rituals ♥︎

consumption of love

the colonel’s brat

༯ zayne (li shen)

starry nocturne

✧ sakamoto days ✧

༯ nagumo yoichi

saké and tattoos

༯ shin asakura

shopping on a snowy night

[nishitanis-left-nut]

Kind of spoilers for yakuza 6 regarding The Child and Kiryus reaction to its Father

first and foremost yes i did laugh every time they would cut to kiryu during the reveal scene or you could see him in the edge of the screen while someone else was talking and he was just starring at yuta with absolutely HATRED and BETRAYAL in his pretty little eyes

the scene after that at their families hq where yuta keeps calling him aniki and apologizing also stuck with me for some reason. i half expected him to punch him in the face and yell at him to stop calling him aniki, but that didn't happen of course it didn't why would it. that being said "Only one of us deserves to hit him now. And thats me, Nagumo." was tough as shit but that leads to my next point

"Blood shouldn't change how you live your life. And it damn well shouldn't change how you judge others."

what a BANGER of a line. like yes kiryu slay. and before i get to where i wanted to go with that i wanna bring up how Yuta caring deeply about stuff like that being established previously, with him not wanting to change harutos diapers after they all though his dad was tatsukawa, was really good since then him having second thoughts about rescuing him after finding out about his lineage doesn't feel like it was forced in

but back to kiryu, i find it really interesting that what made him snap wasn't finding out that a friend slept with his daughter, and then didn't take care of her or the baby, or even him keeping that, frankly, vital piece of information from all of them. what made him snap was him abandoning his son

"...something as meaningless as blood ties" its no surprise that kiryu doesn't see blood relationships as important, hes never had any and all the most important people in his life weren't related to him in any way. but he cares deeply about family and being loyal to the people you care about and those who depend on you, so when hes faced with what in his mind is a dead beat dad he has no hesitation in punching him through a glass sliding door and cutting him off

all summed up i find it cool how they didn't go down the "dad with a shotgun" road with kiryu, to an extent he's a yakuza before he's a father (something something the fact he doesn't correct people when they refer to haruka as his daughter but never outright says she is [[sure he says stuff like "like a father to a daughter" but i dont think hes ever called her HIS daughter]] but corrects them when they call haruto his grandson, putting distance between them. something something.) and his ideals drive how he acts through the entire franchise

no im not coping well with the fact this is his last game as a protagonist thanks for noticing

[hyeahgaku]

CHARACTER PROFILE ⑳

NAME: 赤尾リオン → Rion Akao

CAREER: She was Sakamoto's & Nagumo's classmate at the JCC, and Akira's aunt. She possessed an exceptional sense for killing and was particularly skilled with weapons. Her death still remains a mystery.

DATA:

Height: 180 cm

Weight: unknown

Age: unknown

Birthday: October 21 [revealed here]

Zodiac sign: Libra

Rion’s quote: “I don't mind killing my own heart if it means protecting Akira.”

→ A STRONG, TOMBOYISH TROUBLEMAKER?! (*Kanji used was problem child, lol)

Rion is a very laid-back and fearless woman. While she was studying at the JCC, she frequently hung out with Sakamoto & Nagumo and they often got into trouble.

→ ABLE TO SEE PATHS TO KILL HER OPPONENT!

Rion's eyes can see the pathway to kill! This ability allows her to take future actions and moves efficiently to corner her opponent!!

→ SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD, BUT SHE RESIDES INSIDE SLUR?!

Slur's personality completely changed after he was attacked! His tone, movements, and thoughts suddenly became those of Rion...!? Both Sakamoto and Akira were utterly confused upon witnessing that.

[maddyguru]

tw. dark content, incest, breeding kink, delirious!nagumo, minors and antis dont interact

follow @maddygurus just in case!

no but thinking about nagumo who feels so lonely after rion died and sakamoto retired and he is alone for 5 years.

Nagumo who turned to his baby sister for comfort, hugging and kissing her whenever his heart feels so heavy.

nagumo who asked little sis ti kiss oniichan, because he feels so lonely after his friends left him. You're all he has now.

nagumo who push his face into your breast, crying into you because he missed his younger days and when he was with his best friends but now he's alone. but not quiet bc he has you.

nagumo who fucks you into the mattress bc he loves the feeling of having you. being with you who comforted her made him the happiest man on earth again.

nagumo who asked you to get pregnant for oniichan. having an akachaan (a baby) would make him very very very happy and make him less lonely. he couldn't wait to have your belly swollen and feeling the baby's kick and spoil you even more than he does now- you and the baby that he has. You and the child will be his entire world, and like sakamoto, maybe, he can forget about what happened. Because you're there to comfort his cold heart, and his baby is on the way to his lonely arms.

[angstigone]

would my mom approve of my faves?

aki -> 9/10:

wouldn't be happy he's a smoker, but otherwise I feel like she'd be happy that he has 1) a stable job, 2) can handle himself, 3) is an introvert.

would think we are a pretty compatible couple, although she'd be worried I'd break his heart.

nagumo -> 7.5/10:

would eye the tattoos suspiciously but would definitely be glad he doesn't have any on the face. would think that he's the one that's the most intelluectually matched for me.

would fall for the suave act, especially if he says some shit like 'is she your older sister'.

michael kaiser -> 7/10:

redeeming quality: he's a football player.

ngl, she'd be in her thing - she enjoys sports and I got the competitiveness from her - would though side-eye him if he treated me rudely in front of her or raised his voice. she's a bit of a tiger mom and would definitely not hesitate to take his ego a few knocks down.

otherwise, I think she'd judge me for his appearance but 'you know what? as long as you are happy and he gives us free tickets'.

oikawa tohru -> 10/10:

would fall for the act.

would totally fall for the act.

not a huge fan of volleyball but again, I think she might enjoy it plus oikawa is so pretty boy and cute. though, THOUGH my mom would be a bit like 'ain't he a bit too pretty?' *sideeyeing me.

baji keisuke -> 4/10:

genuinely would take me aside and go like 'is this your rebellious phase?'.

would tell me at least 181716262 times not to get on his bike.

literally make me swear an oath onto the family relics, because she's scared.

would be definitely intimidated by him and I feel like baji would be the type to be downright blatantly truthful when speaking and admit to beating up people ('but he does to defend my honor'). would be genuinely terrified (but also strangely like... admiring, like... you go girl).

I think that they might get along though on the long run.

kazutora hanemiya -> 6/10:

definitely side-eyes the neck tat (would ask me whether he has been in prison and I'd lie like a liar).

I think that timeskip! kazutora would be her cup of tea; he's respectful, polite but also blunt, although she'd be a bit sad that I didn't get on with somebody that has my same level of instruction (it's something she mentioned whenever I had previous boyfriends) (although I don't think it'd matters).

he'd lose a lot of point for the neck tat.

souya kawatara (angry) -> 8/10

he gets point over kaiser simply for the fact that this man would be her ideal type, personality wise; a chill dude who can cook? she'd dig it, although genuinely terrified by that face. though I feel like angry wouldn't be like baji and be nervous to make a first good appearance.

would be a bit sideeying for the hair, but also for ever endeared he has an older twin (she's an only child, who cried when my sister did her confirmation and I stood by her side); would approve but tease me about it.

rindou haitani -> 8/10

would ask whether he's kaiser.

he gets points for brotherly bonding but would lose some for mentioning he has a club, although you know what, mom? money!

gets brownie points for being a fellow glass wearer and having a bit of an issue with diets and gym and living healthy as my mom is drinking down all that juice.

gris rubion -> 100000/10

her favorite.

literally the man of her dreams (for her daughter): handsome, capable and hard working. she'd be a bit worried about his appearance but would quickly change her mind upon noticing his hard work and intensity and in general, I can see him being what she'd hope for in a future husband for her daughters.

would pester me about grandchildren.

[skylardoesthings]

PLEASE DOOOOO drop more or elaborate your hcs I'm starting to feel the eiliea illness creeping back up so might as well (the illness was never gone in the first place) also just realized your blog title. handshaking u on that we are in this asylum together 🤝 - @kumagorosh

LMFAO??? Yeah guys, im ill abt these guys, its funny that theyre not my favourite characters though.

Anyways i hope you like my insane ramblings, this is gonna be REALLY long so, you can see em all under the cut 👍

For the "in go, to the public Kiyama is Kira Hiroto, to his friends and family, hes Kiyama Tatsuya" hc, the reason why they found out his name is Tatsuya is because of Touko. No one knows how she found out, all they know is that one day during summer she appeared, saw Kiyama and went "HEY TATSUYA!" And watched him panic,

Inazuma Japan noticed that Kiyama and Mido sometimes tend to not answer them whenever they say their names, so they would say their alien names. When the two do reply by their alien names, they would yell "WRONG TRY AGAIN!" bc they are Not Gran and Reize anymore and they have to learn to not reply to those names

As for "The reason why InaJap was so nice to kimido was because of Dark Emperors" hc, it sorta came to me out of the blue while rewatching s3, Mido and Kaze are good freinds despite aliea and my hc is that is the reason why everyone warmed up to them – if DE didn't happen, Kaze wouldn't feel like he understood what Reize had to go through ans that feeling of inadequicy that followed them, if this makes any sense. (Note; if DE didn't happen, they would've either A. Not even be a part of InaJap or B. Be a part of it and get treated like outcasts, kinda like Fudou.)

Also all the sun garden kids, areori or og, knows how to fight btw. Og sun garden is just, better and stronger because of the Aliea Meteorite

ALSO BTW. This is game canon but like, aliea???! Is so fucked up in the games? Like Seijirou rlly was going to sell those kids as weapons of war and we went "wow, normal IE stuff." And Garshield too. Like what the hell

Anyways back to the hcs; Demonio, Kiyama, and Ronijo are friends! "How so?" You might ask, its the child experiments.

Prominence is very used to the heat and prefers it, they hate the cold.

Diamond Dust player, menawhile are the opposite, whenever it snows Hitomiko always has to remind them that they're human and need to be warm, so "Don't go outside without gloves or jackets–!" And they absolutely hate the heat.

Ok this is just semi canon bcz mido, but Gemini Storm totally has a inferior complex.

This is dubiously canon? But all of Eisei are on given name status with each other, and for the og cast, they're still a bit to awkward (well, more like strangers) with each other to do that, but in go they totally call each other by their given names

Ok now for my hyper specific hc where i have no idea where this came from but its something i like and kept

Reina is a psychologist! Maki is a nurse, why? Because honestly, with the way they grew up, they were probably frustrated a lot by all these different things would probably want to help themselves and others. Why them specifically? Idfk it just happened. Same thing with Mutou being a techie, Nagumo being a choach to bunch of kids (like handa in canon), and a bunch of other stuff

Ngl, my hc is that all the Kira's were probably in the spotlight post-aliea, so the hc that Shuugo probably lost a of friends when he was a kid was born,

Which takes me to the hc that he loves his friends and family. He's not ashamed to be a Kira, he holds so much pride for being one. One of his goal's for when hes an adult is to probably just make something for himself, be someone he himself could be proud of,

I honestly have ZERO idea where i got my "Kiyama sees a lot of himself in Kariya" hc, but i think it was when i was rewatching s2 and went "wow thid guy has a lot of similar mannarisms as Kariya" whenever i saw covert Kiyama+Gran

Which takes me to the, "Shuugo and Kariya are just mini versions of the aliea captains" hc, which is mostly by mannerisms. They probably unconsciously mimicked them or just adopted it into the way they do things or smthn idk. Hitomiko finds this adorable.

Ehm. Here's some of Shuugo and Kariya actually why not, mostly shuugo because... he's my favourite.

The whole "they're complete opposites of each other" bit is mostly based on my other headcanons, but also from Shuugo's recruitment needs + kariya's canon behaviour. (shuugo's talks for the both of them, and kariya in turn, insults people for fun)

Shuugo likes to fist-fight people btw, he's nice and calm, but he has anger issues, and when someone pisses him off bad he'd start fist-fighting people, which is pretty often. (Kariya in turn, gaslight people. for fun. like father like son, I guess?)

Nagumo taught both Shuugo and Kariya curse words.

Shuugo was the one who came up with the idea of Masaki transferring to Raimon (the moment he joined the soccer club, shuugo went through all five stages of grief at once)

oh yeah kariya and shuugo have a sibling-like relationship. idk if you can tell from all the previous hcs.

literally no one knew that they know each other, so one day during the match of raimon 1gun vs raimon 2gun in s1 of go, they started talking to each other post-match and everyone was just "????? since when ???" and the revelation that kariya is an orphan and shuugo knows him because his cousin(??) is the "owner" of the orphanage opened,

also because of kariya and shuugo knowing each other, the two of them (along with ichino and aoyama!) sorta become the bridge between raimon 1gun and raimon 2gun! they have a lot more joint practises and team 2 are able to play in official/friendly matches!

Also fun fact, Shuugo was supposed to have a character arc similar to Hikaru's when he was first introduced in the sequel for go s1, aka, Chrono Stone, but as we can see that never happened. Anyways, i totally do NOT have a whole ass plot and am writing a fic of this for myself. nope, Nuh-uh.

(i am, i just stopped writing it cause i got stuck with a bit I cannot write to save my life :sob:)

wow this is. really long, i am so sorry if this makes no sense, and I'm sorry in general.

[b0sya]

wtf sakamoto x nagumo child?????

[yvesssssssss]

Stillness and storms

Nagumo Yoichi was exhausting—loud, restless, always up to something. You were his opposite, steady and unshaken, the calm to his chaos. But when his dramatic pleas for attention turned into something softer, something real, you realized that beneath all his antics, he just wanted to be loved. And maybe, just maybe, you were the only one who could love him right.

Nagumo Yoichi was exhausting.

Not in a bad way—just in a Nagumo way. He was all restless energy, always moving, always talking, always scheming up some ridiculous plan. If he wasn’t balancing on railings, flipping knives between his fingers, or sneaking up behind you just to see if he could make you flinch, he was complaining about being bored.

And you? You were the exact opposite.

Where Nagumo was wild, you were steady. Where he spoke without thinking, you thought before you spoke. He was the storm, and you were the calm after it. The two of you shouldn’t have worked together, but somehow, you did.

Even if it meant moments like this.

“Darling, please,” Nagumo whined, dramatically draped over the arm of the couch. “I’m dying.”

You took a sip of tea, unimpressed. “You’re fine.”

“I’m not,” he groaned, rolling onto his back, legs kicking over the edge like an overgrown child. “I need attention.”

You gave him a blank look. “You’ve been clinging to me all day.”

Nagumo pouted. “Yeah, and? I require constant affection.”

You turned a page of your book. “You’ll live.”

“No, I won’t.” He pointed at himself. “I’m literally withering away from a lack of love.”

You sighed, rubbing your temple. “Nagumo.”

He immediately perked up. “Yes?”

“I’m right here.”

“Yeah, but you’re all the way over there.” He gestured vaguely between you. “And I need cuddles. Urgently. Like, life-or-death situation.”

You stared at him, then slowly exhaled. “You’re not going to stop talking until I come over there, are you?”

His grin was shameless. “Nope.”

You set your book down and stood, watching as his eyes lit up with victory. The second you sat on the couch, Nagumo wasted zero time before flopping against you, arms looping around your waist as he buried his face into your shoulder.

“Much better,” he murmured, his voice muffled.

You sighed, running a hand through his messy blond hair. “You’re impossible.”

“You love it,” he said smugly.

You were silent for a moment before quietly replying, “I love you.”

Nagumo tensed.

For once, he didn’t have a snarky remark. No teasing, no witty comeback—just stillness. You felt him pull back slightly, his golden eyes searching your face as if he hadn’t heard you right.

“…Say that again.”

You tilted your head. “You heard me.”

“I did, but—” He wet his lips, looking almost unsure for the first time in his life. “Say it again.”

Your hand cupped his cheek, thumb brushing over his skin. “I love you, Yoichi.”

Something flickered across his face—something softer, almost vulnerable. His fingers tightened around your shirt, and then suddenly, he was burying his face in your neck again, inhaling deeply like he was trying to commit this moment to memory.

“You’re gonna regret telling me that,” he muttered, voice muffled.

You raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“Mmhm.” He pulled back just enough to smirk, though his ears were slightly pink. “Because now I know you love me, and I’m gonna be so annoying about it.”

You rolled your eyes. “As if you weren’t already.”

Nagumo laughed, bright and carefree, before tugging you down onto the couch with him. He wrapped himself around you like a contented cat, completely at peace.

“Still,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to your shoulder, “say it again sometime, yeah?”

You hummed, resting a hand over his. “Yeah.”

And for once, just once, Nagumo Yoichi was quiet.

[akimoroll]

giving in to the love.

chapter 5. love letter from the sea to the shore

chapter index: 1 — 2 — 3 — 4 | read the entire thing on ao3

nagumo yoichi x afab!reader—wc 5.9k—alternate universe

!! mentions of abuse. death. alcoholism. a bit of suicidal ideation. highschool flashbacks yada yada. mdni.

I think I loved you

In another life

Where I was the sea

And you were the shore

Happiness will find me, eventually. That’s what you kept telling yourself when you thought you had it all figured out: Get a degree, secure a well paying job and live independently. But to your dismay, life remained devoid of its meaning.

You repeatedly found yourself questioning the reason why you keep trying to fit into spaces that were never meant for you, leaving you with aches and pains as morning coffee turned to liquor, gradually turning yourself into the last person you wanted to be.

Solitude has always been your constant companion.

But it weighed heavy sometimes so you let strangers with rough careless hands have their way with you. They mirrored how you maintained your guard, a silent understanding, an invisible wall that prevented anything true. From a safe distance, you sought satisfaction without letting anyone get too close, leaving you feeling more hollow and lonelier than before.

Your fingers constantly ached, yet somehow you couldn't bring yourself to let go as you continuously dug through the earth, searching, always searching. What were you looking for? Or were you burying something down?

Maybe it was a bit of both.

A bitter realization settled over you—your heart would always yearn for a home that you could never have, a sense of belonging that would always remain out of reach. There was nothing here for you, nothing to hold on to. You wanted to escape… to where? And from what? And it hurts. It hurts so so much.

The universe seemed to have a twisted sense of humor, tossing one hurdle after another, almost as though life’s challenges were keeping you stubbornly alive—your father had fallen ill and you played caretaker with his family despite your distant relationship with them. After years of putting your mother’s feelings and impulsive behaviors before yourself, a habit of prioritizing others above your own became second nature to you.

The year ticked by slowly, each day dragging along until the phone call brought news of your mother's passing. It was confusing. Should you be relieved? Should you grieve? You didn’t know how you should feel. Your mind went eerily quiet knowing that you weren’t hers to torment any longer.

Being your mother’s only child, you felt responsible to go back to your childhood home to take care of matters regarding her death. You just had to get it over and done with as soon as possible, to not stay longer than you should, careful not to reopen old wounds. But fate had its way of taunting you as you ran into familiar faces, resulting in an unexpected turn of messy events.

Like great memories under a pile of bad ones, like rediscovering something you once cherished pushed back in the farthest corner of your shelf, and even though the air was heavy with dust that could suffocate, you couldn’t help but feel a spark had ignited. You found yourself hopeful again.

Maybe life isn’t so bad after all?

However, hope is a dangerous thing for you. Because once you put it all back in its proper place, once you go back to your life, to your reality, it will once again send you inevitably spiraling down.

But maybe you just have to stay long enough until the love you craved and kept begging for falls right into your cup? There, in Nagumo’s arms, you became someone else. Someone more like yourself.

Has it always been this easy with him? You fit just right, you belonged. Struck by his absence all this time, you allowed yourself to lean onto him. You wanted him more than you wanted to live, and he held you like it’s the safest you have ever been.

As much as you longed for his comfort, a subtle fear gnawed at you. He felt all too familiar, all too close, as if a tiny spark could ignite a wildfire between you, terrified of the thought you’d burn him down with you. And in the same manner, he was intense, like his lips were breathing fire onto your skin, yet it didn't sting. His warmth soothed so many parts of you, like you were seated by a fireplace, all snug and cozy with a thick soft blanket wrapped around you after being out in the snow all day.

It was disorienting. You didn’t know what to do with him.

Could it be that you were simply conditioned to resist gentleness when it appears in a shape that felt too kind? When it hits fast but lands too soft, does that scare you away? Or were you scared of the thought that if he looked too closely and found nothing, he’d walk away?

Because when you spend your life being told you’re not good enough, that you ruin everything you lay your hands on, that you’re hard to love—you start believing it as the truth.

As you reflected on your past, a question lingered in your mind: was it because you were too lost in your own thoughts, driven by struggle to try to make sense of it all, or was it because you were simply too young and naive? Life had a knack for being unkind to you, but amidst it all, Nagumo was there—everything that was good seemed inexplicably intertwined with him.

The photograph of you, this ring… What does this all mean? Was he there that day? Was he the one who did that for you?

You had set to finally end it, it was supposed to be when you visited the beach for the first time in years. Feeling envious of its departure, the sunset stared back at you, as if it were mocking your desire to say goodbye.

Your thoughts drifted with the wind as it mingled with the beach’s crystal clear turquoise water, reminiscent of the graceful dance of her locks whenever she pulled your hand in hers.

Hey Rion, leave some ciggies for me up there, ‘kay?

///

“She’s going to drop out,” Taro announced, handing one of the two pork buns to Nagumo before taking a seat beside him on a bench overlooking the soccer field.

Nagumo, his mouth half full, asked, “Who is?” taking a bite of the bun and murmuring how hot it is.

“Who else?” Taro spoke up, swallowing a mouthful of food before continuing, “She talked to me on the way here.”

In response, Nagumo simply hummed, not wanting to worsen what he was already feeling.

Taro snuck a quick glance at Nagumo before continuing, “She's heading off with her dad, got a plane ticket and everything. She said she couldn't bring herself to approach you, so she asked me to tell you secretly.”

Nagumo paused mid chew, “Secretly?” he echoed, a hint of surprise in his voice.

“Yeah.”

Nagumo blinked in surprise, wondering since when did his best friend develop an interest in gossip. Confused, he asked, “Then why are you telling me?”

Taro took a moment to think before reminiscing about his last conversation with Rion, recalling how she was the one doing most of the talking.

I’m so bored… They've been avoiding each other like the plague.

Listen, Sakamoto, they’re idiots. What if I talk her into it, and you with Nagumo. Let’s see who confesses first?

Or maybe we could lock them in a room together? That’s easier.

No?

Alright, whatever.

Taro let out a silent groan at the idea of being involved in someone else's lovelife when he can’t even progress with his own. He didn't believe in ghosts, but Akao was a force to be reckoned with. He didn't want her haunting him down in his dreams for not fulfilling her trivial but well intended request. He smiled inwardly at her memory before replying to Nagumo, “Slip of the tongue.”

Taro saw how your absence deeply affected Nagumo and in his own way of showing affection for his best friend, he made sure he kept “slipping” even years later.

He made sure to tell Aoi to invite you to the reunion the moment he spotted you walking in their store.

He slipped up again when he invited Nagumo to come over and see you.

He was the one who suggested that Nagumo follow you outside when everyone was occupied at the pub.

Finally, he slipped one last time, assuring everyone that he didn’t see anything when he was supposed to call you both back inside, even though he saw the two of you leaving together. Taro mused, “Akao, looks like I win this round.”

All those slip ups kept Nagumo’s gears turning.

During those early years, he clung onto a slender thread of hope, believing that it must have meant something. Maybe you hadn’t meant what you said, and perhaps you did feel the same way about him. He wrestled his thoughts for countless nights, feeding off that tiny glimmer of hope from that detail, until it became too heavy to carry.

Maybe he should have confessed sooner? He had planned to tell you that he liked you during that afternoon walk from school, a week after his birthday. As he strolled along with you, his long legs moved deliberately slowly, trying to savor every moment he had with you. When you insisted he had to walk you home because you had “something for him”, he feigned annoyance, even though he secretly enjoyed the extra time with you.

“My mom’s not home yet. Do you want to come in for a bit?”

You spoke so casually as if inviting him in was a completely natural thing for you to do. Though he tried to keep his cool, his heart betrayed him as it pounded inside his chest.

“Here… I baked you sweets for your birthday.”

“But my birthday was like, last week?”

“Take this as my apology for the stunt I pulled that day,” you mumbled, a faint blush on your cheeks.

“Oh, that…” he replied softly, “It’s okay. You can tell me anything.”

You swallowed before responding quietly, “Same here.”

He asked, his voice barely above a whisper, “Anything?”

You nodded, “Anything.”

A sudden silence descended, and you found yourselves looking at each other without uttering a word. Finally, you broke the stillness by playfully shoving a cookie into his mouth, aiming to lighten the heavy air between you.

“Now eat it and tell me it’s good!”

Of course he playfully acted like he was resisting just so he could hold your hand, but eventually conceded, leaving crumbs all over his cheeks and the corners of his lips. Then, there it was, the most delightful sound to his ears—your laugh.

He almost confessed at that very moment, and you nearly did the same. Yet both of you were content with how things stood, each hesitant to take a leap and face uncertainty. The chances kept coming after that but neither of you took it, unsure about each other’s true feelings, scared of each other’s what ifs.

He left your house that day with his head in the clouds and a smile playing on his lips as he remembered that moment with you. You had suggested he share them with Akao, but he secretly decided to keep them all to himself. He always had a sweet tooth but these were especially different, he almost didn’t want to eat it. It was so sweet, maybe a little too much just because you made it for him.

He continuously replayed those details in his mind, analyzing the gaps in timing, wondering what he could have said and done differently or if he should have said anything at all, just for him to come to the conclusion that you were always meant to leave, constantly seeking a means to escape, and he resented it.

“I want to get out of here. Buy myself a house big enough for me and the cats I’ll pick up from the streets. Somewhere quiet and close to nature. In the countryside or a house by the beach, maybe?”

“What about dogs?”

“Dogs? Uhh… I’d love to have dogs too but… They’re too…clingy. They follow you around, and demand a lot of affection. Plus… I’d feel bad leaving them for work or doing my own thing, you know?”

“And cats are not? You could have both and they’d keep each other company.”

“But what if they fight while I’m gone? That poor dog doesn't have claws as sharp as cats.”

“They’re loyal and they form deep bonds… That dog will forgive the cat, just so they can cuddle again after, don’t you think?”

“Hey, cats do that too in their own way! They’re just… subtle about it. But alright, point taken, Mr. Animal Planet. Where is this going?”

“Just looking for ideas.”

“About what? Pets?”

“Ha-ha, very funny. I mean ‘ten years from now’ kind of ideas.”

“Tch, you’ll be fine. You and your big brain have a whole life ahead of you.”

“Don’t you think there’s something missing with yours?”

“What do you mean? I just told you everything.”

“So that’s it? That’s your master plan?”

“Hey! Now you’re being mean!”

But he wasn’t trying to be mean. He hated how he wasn’t a part of it and couldn’t do anything about it. He hated it so much that pieces of him died when you left. He just had to convince himself that you were both too young, and what he had for you was simply a foolish teenage infatuation with shared trauma just to lessen his misery.

“What could I possibly do?” He repeatedly told himself, like a mantra of denial.

He tried to tell himself that keeping his feelings under wraps would be as simple as focusing on studying and sports, but fragments of you and the sound of your voice seemed to follow him everywhere. During late nights spent studying for exams, he found himself dwelling on your face, the way your eyebrows scrunched together when he used to help you with homework and how your face lit up—he just had to look away—when you exclaimed, “Ah! I get it!”

Going to college made everything a bit bearable. Being away from home and meeting new people gave him the chance to start over. Romance wasn’t something he was initially interested in but it came easy with the way girls threw themselves at him. Some for fun and some with the willingness to make it last. However, he was caught in this constant loop of wishing for a different reality, something familiar, somewhere with you in it.

Some distractions that were supposed to take his mind off things, brought forth memories of cozy sleepovers with you, Rion and Taro—staying up in the wee hours of the night to watch horror flicks with chips and popcorn scattered all over the carpeted living room floor. He was jealous of the pillow you tightly clung onto that he pretended to be scared just so he could squeeze himself next to you. But no horror movie could ever prepare him from the shock he felt when you got startled and snaked your arm around his own.

He frequently reminisced about the time he followed you to the kitchen to help you cook a mountain of instant noodles while the two were immersed in a game. Seizing the moment, he viewed it as a chance to get to know you more, perhaps dig some secrets just the two of you could share. He asked jokingly, “How about we play a game too? 21 questions?”

Caught up in the moment of reaching for each other’s hearts through fits of laughter and lingering stares hidden behind questions and answers, you and him couldn't help but fall silent when your chopsticks hit the bottom of the stainless steel pot and realized you had eaten the entire thing meant for the four of you. Together, you fabricated an excuse that he had unintentionally tipped the noodles into the sink.

“All of it?” asked Taro, with disbelief in his voice.

Nagumo confirmed, “Yes, all of it.”

Rion smirked, her arms crossed, “Why the swollen lips?”

“It was spicy!” You panicked and exclaimed.

Rion nodded, feigning ignorance, “Oh? I thought you two were making out.”

“So you two ate it all,” Taro deduced, before you could deny it.

“Alright, fine. Half of it spilled.” Nagumo grinned, his focus shifting to your increasingly reddening ears. Holding back a chuckle, hoping that Rion’s guess was the case.

Who would’ve thought what was initially driven by curiosity, will turn into a secret starry-eyed crush, and turn into something way deeper than that? While you thought you were seamlessly blending in the background, he could easily spot you in plain sight, like the moment he saw you again years after high school.

He was strolling along the shoreline, his hair dancing with the wind and his feet sinking into the soft sand as the waves rolled in and out of the beach. He paused periodically to capture photographs of the natural beauty around him—the sunset, the waves, until his viewfinder settled at an old couple sitting together. His smile widened as he examined his shots.

Contemplating whether to take another snap, he zoomed in. Something caught his eye. At first, he didn’t quite grasp what it was. But when he finally lowered the camera from his face and looked with his own eyes, time stood still with his heart stuck in his throat.

There you were, in his eyes, all the beauty surrounding him was compressed and stored within you alone.

How could he mistake you? Watching you from a distance was all he had known.

You were radiant as ever with your hair flowing effortlessly with the wind while the sunset painted soft kisses on your face of blush pink and orange hues, wishing it was him kissing you.

All the emotions and feelings that were interwoven with memories of you that he thought he had drowned, surfaced like it all happened hardly a day ago, making the illusion of time completely irrelevant—he could feel as if his life was starting again.

His heart raced in his chest, his breathing caught in his throat. He wanted nothing more but to go near you. But one of his colleagues called out to him, “Let’s go, man. The clients wanted to discuss something for tomorrow’s wedding over dinner.”

Nagumo mumbled reluctantly, “I’ll catch up in a bit.”

He didn’t want to go. He wanted to come over to you, to ask you how you’ve been—has life been kinder to you these days? Did your plans work out the way you wanted to?

However, his thoughts were briefly interrupted again when they spoke once more, “Can I borrow your camera? It's a pain to head back to the hotel to get mine.”

He handed it over without much thought, wanting them to leave as quickly as possible.

As he gradually moved further away from the sea, he continued gazing at you, unable to tear his eyes away. You still had this pull on him—reminiscent of how the shore effortlessly tug the ocean waves back to it as if it belonged there—you had him all along.

He reasoned against moving any closer to you. You looked like you were at peace and he didn’t want to disturb you. Given all the intertwined memories you had with him, he wasn’t sure if you would be happy to see him. If only he could grasp what was going through your mind at that very moment.

He wished he could take a photo of you again. The one he had of you was outdated and hidden away. The one he took moments before his first kiss, where he foolishly believed he had messed everything up.

Luckily, he happened to have his instant camera tucked away in his pocket. But your face wasn’t in the frame anymore. This’ll do, he reassured himself as he immortalized you once again.

Interestingly enough, in the same year, an opportunity to see you again emerged. He wasted no time and rushed back home. What were the odds? Life is full of tricks, so why not make his own? He walked by a jewelry store at the airport and had an impulsive thought.

While he was well aware of the rumors circulating about him being a married man within his social circle, he neither confirmed nor denied them. He took satisfaction in keeping people on their toes. He hadn't anticipated that the whole charade would come in handy someday so he purchased a ring. He wanted to test something.

First, he had to keep his cool and keep a certain distance, he had it all planned out. Only for your face to light up in his presence, melting his facade away. Perhaps some things never change, but maybe some do—he has grown brave enough to not look away from the glow you didn’t know you had in you.

Then, he got to embrace you as you cried your heart out. He felt everything all at once, it was bittersweet. The sweetness came from you leaning onto him, but also the bitter realization that you were still broken and dealing with the pain. Still, you were unfolding your arms and letting him in, and he thought of all the trouble he was willing to go through for a second time if it meant he could hold you like this one moment more.

You mentioned the idea of leaving so he secretly slipped the picture he took of you in the pocket of your coat. He wasn’t prepared to say goodbye, but you changed your mind and he caught a glimpse of an expression he had seen from you before, something he had grown to learn—your silent calls for help. But it had become so loud, as though you were finally begging him to be drained from the pain you’ve soaked yourself in. He doubted himself for a moment, could this be a dream? But your face said otherwise, causing all the years of bottled up emotions to come pouring down in front of you.

All his feelings and pent up desires once were hidden away, now laid bare. He was now able to touch you and when your touch mirrored his own affection, he was forcefully flung back to the days of being a lovesick sixteen year old boy. He relished himself with the feeling of being truly needed by you. Except he wasn’t a boy anymore, he could only do what little he could back then. He was now willing to carry the weight with you, to bleed alongside you should you allow him.

Heaven always seemed so out of reach, but suddenly it came crashing down, knocking the breaths out of your lungs. Like a suffocating gray cloud finally freeing the two of you with its rain. What he couldn’t say, he showed. And it was desperate, like a fervent orison, hoping you could see yourself the way he sees you. But for a moment in between, greed overcame him—could it truly be unacceptable for a thought to cross his mind, that maybe, just maybe, if he clipped your wings, it’d keep you from leaving?

But the last thing he wanted was to hurt you. Even if you asked him, he wouldn’t be able to. He wanted to be your solace, not a means of escape and not someone you felt compelled to flee from. He’d squeeze himself through the smallest eye of a needle if it meant he could fix whatever it was that needed mending, but he was just as broken as you. Perhaps you could be two torn pieces next to each other and he’d just stitch himself with you.

He held onto you tightly, whispering sweet promises while you slept. But just like sand, the stronger he grips, the faster you’d slip between the gaps of his fingers. That’s bullshit—he mused, while slipping the ring on your hand—You can leave but I’ll never let you forget about me.

He was awake when you left, unable to sleep a wink. And before getting out of bed, he rolled over, inhaling your scent on his pillow and sheets, his fingers clutching to nothing. He had already mourned the possibility of you leaving without returning when he was watching you softly and delicately sleeping next to him. You broke his heart once, he’d let you do it again, thinking he had always been yours, although it seemed like you were never his.

That was why when he opened the door after he heard a few anxious knocks, he was taken aback seeing you return, panting like you had been running. His eyes still swollen and his voice hoarse, he uttered, “You’re here.”

You’re here.

Those were also his words when he saw you again at the reunion, hoping you’d remember when it was you who said that during that one summer evening by the shore. It was close to midnight and he was feeling restless, so he decided to go for a walk. His mind wandered to earlier, thinking what could have been if he approached you. And as if his feet had a mind of its own and knew where to find you, he saw you once again. But this time, it didn’t feel like yourself, you were drunk out of your mind and dangerously close to the sea.

He rushed over to you and pulled you into his arms, your eyes squinted to get a better look at his face before letting out a soft giggle. He frowned, his frustration evident, “What do you mean ‘you’re here’?! Do you even know who I am?”

You leaned your entire weight onto him, almost hugging him with your hands clutching the back of his summer polo. Your eyes were closed with your cheek squished against his chest as you slur your words, “Of course, silly. Can’t forget that face even if I wanted to.”

His expression softened, his voice calmer, “Really now? And if I take advantage of you, then what?” murmuring how drunk you are.

You giggled, voice sounding slow, “You wouldn’t dare… You’re the sweetest…ever.”

He breathed deeply to calm himself and took everything in him to not take you back to his hotel room to keep you all to himself.

So he asked, in a firm manner, “Which hotel are you staying at? I’ll take you back there.”

“…purse…keycard…” you mumbled, grunting in between.

“What? What purse?”

Before he could get an answer you had already passed out, covering yourself with vomit in which he swiftly dodged. He grimaced, overwhelmed with disgust but quickly replaced with concern.

He was practically drenched in sweat when he reached your suite. With every step, he muttered to himself, “What the fuck am I doing… really…”

He tended to you gently, changing you out of your summer dress and wiping you down. There you were, right in front of him, and yet he couldn’t even speak to you. The thought of you not remembering him when you woke up almost sent him over the edge.

As he gently rested your head on the pillow, he took a moment to gaze at your sleeping figure. You were quiet and looked so calm while frustration welled up inside him, like something was conspiring to keep you apart. He frowned, his eyes distant, thinking, “Why can’t it just be normal between us?”

His heart ached at your words as he was pulled away from his thoughts, “Don’t go,” you murmured half asleep.

He ran his fingers through your hair, reasoning with himself that he has an early shoot the next day. Staying the night wasn’t an option either, worried that you wouldn’t be too happy about it if you woke up next to him. He spoke quietly, careful not to disturb your slumber, “I’ll be back as soon as I can, okay?”

You nodded, making his heart squeeze. He cooed, “Will you wait for me?”

A short soft hum escaped your lips as you succumbed yourself completely to sleep.

However, the next morning came and you were spooked as you tried to made sense of the situation. You had woken up wearing a fresh bathrobe, your surroundings tidy and when you stepped inside the bathroom, you found your dress from the night before, damp and hanged properly. All the empty bottles of alcohol and the sleeping pills intended for overdose were all gone.

Confused and disoriented, you left immediately without knowing Nagumo was with you that night and saved your life.

///

Your words trailed off as you took in his words, revealing everything to you, “My god, that’s a lot. I don’t- That was so embarrassing. I’m sorry-” your mind reeling with realization, you continued, “I didn’t realize… I don’t remember.”

Unconsciously, you grabbed the knife sitting on the table when he set a round vanilla cake adorned with strawberries in front of you.

He gently placed his hand on top of yours, guiding you to cut the first slice. He comforted you with a soft smile, reassuring you, “It's alright.”

The two of you held your gaze at the slice of cake in silence as he slid it in front of you before asking, your voice quiet, “Aren’t you tired of doing this, Yoichi?”

He swallowed the lump in his throat as he questioned, “Doing what?” thinking, here we go again.

With a faltering voice, you said, “This. Everything. This isn’t fair to you.”

He closed his eyes in resignation, before opening them again and asking, “When was it ever fair?”

You finally looked at him and leaned closer, almost begging, “You’ve been so good to me and all I do is- You know, with Rion and you saw it, right? You saw what was happening to me and—”

He interrupted you with a huff, his tone almost humorous, yet his expression said otherwise, “You’ve already done damage, there's nothing to ruin here anymore if it isn’t obvious already. I’m not even trying to fix you if that’s what you think this is. Maybe I’m just as fucked up as you are at this point.”

Caught off guard by his passive aggression, you paused, carefully considering your words before speaking again, “What if I get worse? You’d realize halfway you don't want anything to do with me.” You reached out and touched his forearm resting on the table, gently nudging him, the cake remained untouched.

His gaze finally met yours, frustration and sadness welling up in his eyes as he stated firmly, “Be as messed up as you want to be and I'll stay right here. I’ve seen it all and wanted you just the same, if anything, I want you even more. There’s nothing you could do to push me away anymore.”

You retracted your hand and covered your face with it, tears threatening to spill over, “It’s gonna be hard… I’m difficult. You saw it first hand and you’d eventually hate me for it.”

He shifted and pulled your chair closer to himself so he could fully face you. He gently removed your hands from your face as he lowered his voice to a gentler tone, “So what if you’re difficult? When was it ever easy anyway? It was already hard being away from you. Why stop now? We can be two fuck ups together. Is that what you want? Will that make you stay?”

Your shoulders slumped as he held both your hands, you whispered, “No, Yoichi. You’re doing great and I’m so so proud of you… I mean, look at this house and everything that’s going for you. Last night was a mistake, I’ll just make you unhappy and unsatisfied, and you don’t deserve that…”

He sighed, dismissing your concerns, “Can you for once not think about what you think is good for me, and quit being a hypocrite? You say this to me and you show me something completely different. I can’t keep doing this with you.” Taking your hands, he held them against his cheeks, leaning into the comforting warmth of your palms. With a pleading expression, he softly uttered your name, “I know you felt it, I know I did. You wanted it just as badly even though you believed I was married.”

You avoided his gaze, his last word lingering in the air. He was right. You looked at the slice of cake resting prettily on the table, contemplating the uncertainty of the situation.

He interjected, “See?” his voice seeking your eyes once more, pleading, “That didn't stop you then, so why do you keep lying to yourself?”

You smiled in reply, your lips trembling, “I have a life back there, and you have yours here. I can’t just stay here with you.”

His thumb traced comforting circles against the back of your hands as he gently reassured, “I know you’d say that. You don’t have to worry about that.”

You laughed softly, “I don’t even wanna know what you mean by that.”

He responded with a firm squeeze, his tone serious yet laced with mischief, “If you’re planning to get away from me again, I’ll follow you to the ends of earth.” Playfully, he glared, “Consider it a warning.”

A tearful chuckle escaped you as you wondered aloud, “You’re an idiot… What am I gonna do with you?”

His expression softened as he said quietly, “We can…” he then released you, carefully scooping up a small spoonful of cake and gently placing it in your mouth, gently wiping away your tears with his thumb.

“We can figure it out together. Laugh about it like we used to. And if you ever feel lonely, you can squeeze beside me. We can be lonely together… until we no longer are. Hm?”

You pondered for a while before asking him, “Don’t I have a say in this?”

“Nope, you’re out of turns,” He answered almost immediately, shaking his head with a grin, “I already let you have your way and I didn’t complain, and it went shit.”

“So you went ahead and tricked me instead?”

“Well,” he shrugged, back to his usual smug grin, “You always fall for it.”

You scoffed at him before chuckling as you playfully pushed a spoonful against his nose and then shoved it straight into his mouth, both of you sharing a hearty laugh with tears in your eyes.

Despite the fact of it being familiar, you never really acquired the taste for desserts. But as you let the smoothness melt in your mouth, you pondered—you can always learn to love the sweetness of it, to get used to it. And then indulging yourself and giving in to it may not be so bad after all.

ACT ## (extras)

INT. COFFEE SHOP – SUMMER

OSARAGI is scrolling through instagram, enjoying iced coffee with SHISHIBA on a hot afternoon.

OSARAGI

(gasped)

Hey, I think Nagumo just got married.

SHISHIBA

(skeptical)

Is that so?

OSARAGI

(showing her phone screen)

Look, he never updates his instagram. This is his first time ever, so it must be real. And oh, a beach wedding.

OSARAGI (CONT’D)

(cringing)

There's also a ridiculously cheesy caption under it, claiming he has finally found his ‘my heart’s only beat’ on a tropical island.

SHISHIBA

I didn’t see him as the type to say such… clichés.

Everyone, even Nagumo, believed the news. The exception being Sakamoto.

a/n: if you made it this far, idk what to tell you but congrats???for putting up???with me???? (esp with the first two chap…i cringe to some parts of it but ehhhhh oh well lmao) and thank you so so so so much for reading. ♥︎ the amount of revisions i did for over a month fried my brain a little methinks…yeah please kiss me on the forehead…platonically? romantically? sexually??? i don’t mind

epilogue? maybe. when? idk. therapy? YES (─‿‿─)

PS. if you see me getting manipulated by a 6’3 tall dude with jet black hair and tattoos, don’t save me. i’m right where i want to be.