#chibitalia holding a gun

[koriauditore]

Chibitalia holding a gun is my religion.

Extra doodle of Luciano being a fucking emo and hating his life😔💔

[anime-dub-transcripts]

Hetalia: Axis Powers Episode #9 Transcript

This episode has the second Allies meeting and Chibitalia teaching Holy Roman Empire to paint.

America: Okay, so I’ve, like, designed a really sweet attack plan which I’m calling Attack Plan Alpha, like alpha dog. Woof! I think it makes use of our strengths in the best way possible. Britain goes in suicidal! It’s your Charge of the Light Brigade routine!

Britain: Huh?

America: France gives up without a struggle!

France: Oh?

America: And for Russia, just keep sending us your cannon fodder! You’ll draw the guns away from me!

Russia: Hold on. Question. What are you going to be doing, America?

{Text on blackboard #1: England --- Back me up}

{Text on blackboard #2: France --- Back me up}

{Text on blackboard #3: Russia --- Back me up}

America: Good question. I’ll do what I always do best, and that means…I’m the hero!

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{Text on blackboard #1: England --- Back me up}

{Text on blackboard #2: France --- Back me up}

{Text on blackboard #3: Russia --- Back me up}

Britain: No thanks, I’ll not be part of another of your half-wit schemes.

America: Why do you hate me? Are you still pissed off about that whole Revolutionary War thing?

Britain: Since you’re illiterate and not our leader, mostly my mind wanders while you’re speaking. Like recalling how we burnt your capital to the ground in 1814.

America: AWH!

Britain: Sometimes I picture you as the diabetic fat person you’ll likely be in a few more years on your strictly hamburger diet.

America: OAH! Since we’re all sharing our feelings, those pastries you served me when I visited your house the other day…

{Caption: Scones}

America: They tasted like petrified couch stuffing!

Britain: BASTARD! Those scones were a recipe passed down by my mumsie!

Russia: Hehe!

{Caption: Those things (Scones)}

America [choking]: Those were supposed to be scones?

{Caption: This is how the meeting of the Allies begins}

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America: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

America: I’m gonna kill your pompous---

France: When you two are done releasing sexual tensions, we have got a meeting we need to finish!

Britain: That’s weird.

(America: What?)

Britain: France actually made a rational point.

America: Uhuhn, sorry, that was childish and things got out of hand.

Britain: That’s no fair! It’s my job to be mature!

France: Seriously, you two! We have more important things to worry about before settling on our world plans! Like what to do about those tacky military clothes!

{Caption #1: Tacky}

{Caption #2: Tacky}

Britain, America: THIS IS WAR! AND YOU’RE WEARING A CAAAAAAPE!

France: It’s a cloak, non?

(Non?: No? → French)

{Caption #1: Super showy}

{Caption #2: It’s said that he was so showy that he was easily spotted by enemies and kept getting knocked around}

{Caption #3: Bright blue}

{Caption #4: Bright red}

France: Ohonhonhonhonhonhonhonhonhonhon!

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France: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

Britain: Pipe down! Your country once surrendered to a Boy Scout troop on holiday!

{Caption: Weak}

France: That was years ago!

China: Shēntǐ hǎo ma?

(Shēntǐ hǎo ma?: How are you? → Chinese)

China: Oh great, Britain, France, and America are fighting again over nothing. Why can’t you just dominate your people with a totalitarian government, really?

{Text on blackboard: Subject 2 If we win, what will we do with their lands?}

China: Here, let me show you how things are decided using ancient Chinese fashion. Now, seems simple enough! China take all! You can go home now.

Britain: I don’t think so! What gives you the right to take all the land yourself?!

China: Because I’m the oldest! AOH!

France: This is worse than trying to manage a bunch of Italians!

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China: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

France: Just wait! I think we should all sit down and rework the plan.

{Text on blackboard: Let’s calm down a little}

Britain: I hate to say it, but he’s right.

China: And he smells.

America: You guys don’t like my plan?

Britain: It’s more you, personally.

{Text on blackboard #1: Kraut}

{Text on blackboard #2: Wop}

{Text on blackboard #3: England}

{Text on blackboard #4: France}

{Text on blackboard #5: Japan}

{Text on blackboard #6: Russia}

{Text on blackboard #7: China}

Britain: If we divide them based on geography, we get this.

America: Somebody forgot to include Mr. America!

Britain: Eugh…fine, you can have Japan. That way you’ll at least be staying out of Europe.

America: Old Japan…let’s find out where that is.

{Text on paper: America’s World Map}

America: Um…it’s not on the map!

{Text on paper #1: America}

{Text on paper #2: America}

{Text on paper #3: America}

France, Britain, Russia, China: Typical American.

{Caption: That’s Americans for you}

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{Caption #1: Hetalia}

{Caption #2: Chibitalia}

Narrator: Chibitalia.

Holy Rome: Hey, Italy…um…would you…teach me how to draw, please?

Chibitalia: Of course I will. But I didn’t know that you liked to draw.

Holy Rome: Poop! My rabbit look like junk!

Chibitalia: No, it’s good. Which part don’t you like? Oh, the leg. Like this!

Holy Rome: Huhah! Ah…ah…ah…ah…I’m going home now!

Chibitalia: Uhuah?

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France: Hey, Russia, you smiled a lot during that meeting even though it was just yelling. How do you stay so calm?

Russia: That? It’s easy. I like to listen to all the loud noises you make together. I grow up very different. My home is very large and very cold and people hate each other quietly. So noisy foolishness is fun to me. My only friend growing up was a yak.

France: Oh, that’s right. Your emotions were buried by soul-crushing weather and a totalitarian state.

Russia: True. But soon I might probably get to say goodbye to everyone.

France: Ahuah?!

Russia: It make me pleasure smile to think how they will all be destroyed by my overwhelming power.

France: Uhahahahahaha!

{Caption: Next time…}