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[fairyhaos]

❍ the 2k event: seungcheol + luxury

alternative title: what makes you happiest?

pairing: seungcheol x gn!reader

genre: non-idols au, angst, hurt/comfort, husband!cheol

word count: 1340

warnings: curse words, pet names

event taglist (send ask to be added): @slytherinshua @rubywonu @pepperonijem @amxlia-stars @weird-bookworm @hannyoontify @my-moarmy-heart @suminsfav @minhui896 @haocovr @lockburn-castle @sweet-like-caramel @horanghae8 @graybaeismytae @karionice @hopetiger10 @shuabby1994 @yonabutnotyuna @lvlystars @k-drama-adict

It’s dark when Seungcheol manages to get home, and he’s utterly exhausted.

The moment he opens the door and takes off his shoes, however, the lights flick on and he sees you standing in the hallway, arms crossed, and he sighs.

“Y/N,” he greets tiredly, standing there in the doorway. You’re here for a confrontation, and he’s not going to try and fight you on that. He’ll always give you what you want. Even in situations like this. “Hello.”

You’re in your pyjamas, the worn cotton dragging against the floor as you shift your feet, leaning on one hip. “You’re home late. Again.”

Seungcheol sighs. He’s so tired, having gone through probably a thousand meetings that day, having to reject and approve countless different projects, sitting there and unpicking and redoing all of his spreadsheets because his useless assistant was good for literally nothing. He’s late home, yes, but he’s always late, and he wonders why that’s such a big deal today.

“I know,” he says simply, rubbing his face. “Y/N, I know I’m late. Why are you up, anyway? It’s almost midnight.”

Your eyes widen, and a look of disbelief crosses your face. “Why am I up? Cheol, what about you?”

Seungcheol blinks, and then frowns. “I don’t understand. This is when I normally get home on a weekday.”

The disbelief is replaced by sadness, and anger, and upset. You bite your lips, fists clenching where you have your arms crossed, and you lean on your other leg. “And don’t you think that’s not right? Why do you think I’m up, Choi Seungcheol? Why do you think I’m here, right now, standing at the door and waiting for my husband to get home even though it’s well past midnight?”

“I… I don’t get it,” Seungcheol says, and he knows it’s the wrong thing to say because your eyes ice over and your knuckles go white. “Y/N, come on, this happens every day. Why are you so upset today?”

“Because you’re never fucking here!” you burst out, throwing your hands into the air. You scream in frustration, days and months of pent-up frustration and utter loneliness manifesting itself in a matter of seconds as you scream again, wringing your hands together. 

Seungcheol flinches, surprised, but he keeps his gaze on you as you breathe heavily, eyes burning.

"I wake up every morning, and you're not there beside me. The bed is cold, Cheol, by the time I'm awake. That tells me you've been gone hours before me. Do you know how shitty that feels?" You hold up a hand when Seungcheol opens his mouth, barrelling on. "No, no, you're going to listen to me. I know you said that it's for work, that you're just so busy these days, but God forgive me if I just want to feel loved for once! You couldn't spare a minute to write me an adoring little note, to send me a text when you go, to do something to reassure me?"

Seungcheol purses his lips, willing the tears not to spill over from where they’d sprung up, startled, in his eyes. He tries to keep his voice steady as he says, “I’m sorry. I’ve been so busy.”

“I know,” you say, raking a hand through your hair, teeth gritted, trying not to scream at your husband more than you ought to. “I know that, Choi Seungcheol. But you’ve been staying out later and later, and I know it’s for work, but I barely see you these days.” You hold out your hands to him imploringly. “I just need to know you love me. I just… I feel like the Seungcheol I love doesn’t even exist anymore. And like I don’t exist to you anymore.”

Seungcheol frowns, the thought of you not knowing how much he loves you grating on his nerves. He’s still so exhausted, forcefully having to push the cogs in his brain to get them to work, but he knows that isn’t right. That he’s doing everything for you. Always for you.

He crosses his arms. “That’s not true,” he says. “Y/N, that’s not true. It’s because of me that you can have everything you want, at any time you want. It’s because of me that we have this house, the one you love so much. You can’t say that I don’t love you when I’m working my ass off every day just for you to have everything in the world.”

“Have you considered that maybe I don’t want all of this?” you spit. 

“Of course you do!” Seungcheol fires back. He’s infuriated now, upset that you think so little of him. “You asked for this!”

You laugh, but the sound is high and mocking. “We really don’t know each other at all, do we, dear husband? I said I wanted all of this with you! This means jack shit to me if I don’t have you by my side! Because it’s you who I love so goddamn much!”

Seungcheol reels back, shocked.

“I don’t want a life of luxury if I can’t have it with you,” you say, and now there are tears in your eyes, glistening bright and crystal. “I just… I miss you so much, Cheol. I don’t—I’d go back to living through our college days in a heartbeat if it meant I could have you back, dream house be damned.”

You take a deep breath, and the anger drains out of you as you exhale, shoulders slumping. You look as tired as he feels.

“Sometimes, on really bad days, I don’t even see you,” you say, voice cracking. “You’re gone by the time I wake up, and I fall asleep before you get back. Do you know how lonely that is? I married you not because you’d make loads of money, but because you’re Seungcheol, and because I love you. And I—I don’t even get to see the love of my life anymore. It’s like I’m married to a ghost.”

The tears fall down your cheeks now, eyes all blurred, and you don’t even look at him, gaze fixed on some point past his shoulder, and you look so sad and broken and alone and Seungcheol realises just how much he’s been hurting you.

“Y/N,” he says softly, stepping forward, reaching for you as you collapse into the plush carpet, kneeling down in his work suit, letting you cry into his shoulder. “Y/N, my love, I’m so sorry.”

You’re trying to speak, but he won’t let you, the remorse and guilt forcing words out of his throat, trying to apologise over and over again.

“I’m so sorry, it’s all my fault,” he whispers, cradling you against him, wrapping his arms securely around you, keeping you safe in his embrace. “I’ve been inattentive, I haven’t been around enough lately, and I’m so sorry.”

“I—I just keep thinking—wh-where did we go wrong?” you manage to say, before dissolving into sobs again, shaking. 

“Shh, I’m sorry,” he says, again, because there’s nothing else he can say. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise. I should have known that this was hurting you.”

You take a shuddering breath, and he hushes you gently, rocking you back and forth, your thighs wrapped around his waist as he hugs you securely, tightly. 

“I just wanted you to be happy,” Seungcheol says thickly, swallowing his own tears as you cry harder. “I thought that giving you all of this would make you happy. I didn’t—I didn’t think about how you might want something else. I’m so sorry. I just wanted to make you the happiest.”

“Idiot,” you choke out into his chest. “I’m only going to be happiest if I’m with you.”

He laughs, the tears spilling over, his heart feeling so full and so empty and squeezing so wonderfully painfully as he holds you in his arms, blindly pressing his lips to the top of your head. “You’re all I need to be happy, too.”

“So stay home then, Cheol. Stay with me.”

And he does.