#cheesiest title of the year award

[theflowerofhumanity]

Written in the Stars

“Miss Grayson?”

Amanda felt a small hand tugging at her skirt. Tearing her gaze away from the very animated tour guide who held the rapt attention of the rest of her third-grade class, she looked down to see a mess of blonde curls and a pair of huge, pleading brown eyes. She was nearly as interested to hear what the guide had to say as the children, but she smiled down at him and said, “Yes, Micah?”

The child hissed “Igottagotothebathroom” through semi-clenched teeth without pausing between words. Amanda almost laughed, not at the antsy little boy but at the urgent and earnest way he delivered the information. “All right, buddy. We’ll find one. Hold on for a just few more seconds.”

She didn’t want to interrupt their tour or call Micah out in front of his classmates by announcing his needs to everyone else. Besides, there were only so many places for a group of twenty nine-year-olds to get lost in the heart of the government district of downtown San Francisco. They were all pretty good kids, and they were listening very attentively despite the somewhat dry subject matter. In the classroom, Amanda sometimes struggled to engage them about such riveting subjects as the Charter of 2161, but field trips imbued almost anything with some magic. So she took Micah’s hand, saying in a conspiratorial whisper, “Come on. I kind of have to go, too,” which made him grin just like she’d hoped it would.

The Federation Council building happened to be the one nearest to them. After just a moment of hesitation and second-guessing herself, Amanda marched inside, Micah in hand, with more confidence than she felt. Fortunately, the lobby was bright, airy, and somewhat empty. When she inquired at the reception desk, a polite middle-aged woman pointed them in the right direction with no judgment. She felt silly to have worried. Weren’t they Federation citizens? Why shouldn’t they be able to pop in here for a bathroom break?

As they washed their hands in the bathroom, Amanda noticed that her student’s reflection looked suddenly glum. “Why the long face?” she asked. Micah shrugged.

“Aren’t you having fun?” 

Another shrug. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Hey...you were so excited to come!” Amanda crouched down so she could look him in the eye at his own level. Like approximately half of her students both past and present, Micah was convinced that he would not only work in outer space when he grew up but that he’d someday attend Starfleet Academy and subsequently captain a starship. “What’s wrong?”

The boy gave a furtive glance around the empty bathroom, chewing his bottom lip. Then he lowered his voice to a whisper. “It’s just...we haven’t even seen any aliens here,” he said. “No Andorians...nobody!”

Fighting the urge to laugh again, she nodded. A smile spread slowly over her face. “No...but the day isn’t even half over yet! Don’t give up hope that easily, starman.”

Micah looked skeptical, but he considered her words and then nodded too. “Okay.”

“Okay,” she agreed. “Now let’s go find everybody else...before they leave us behind!” He was almost out the door before she could even stand up straight, and she finally gave herself permission to laugh softly. Moments like that made teaching worth it. She crossed her fingers in hopes that Micah’s wish for an alien sighting would come true.

Maybe that innocent superstition worked too well. As she emerged into the sunny lobby, she heard Micah exclaim: “Miss Grayson, Miss Grayson, you were right!” He was nearly bouncing up and down in excitement. She followed his gaze to a group of three tall, dark-haired men in long robes standing several yards away, and her eyes widened. There were his aliens, sure enough, but they weren’t Andorians—and she didn’t think they would be very amenable to being interrupted by an exuberant human child.

Before she could say so, however, or even reach for his hand again, Micah dashed eagerly in their direction. “Micah, no!” she breathed. The color drained from her face. Seeing no other solution, she took off after him.

Micah had made a beeline for the man standing somewhat apart from his companions but stopped short of running headlong into him. Intimidation had won out over his curiosity at the last second. He was just a little boy, after all. But Amanda, being considerably taller, was less lucky. Even as she realized that Micah had stopped and tried to do likewise, her momentum carried her farther—right into the robed figure in front of them.

Amanda’s cheeks flamed bright red with embarrassment, and she stumbled back. “I am so sorry,” she said in a rush. When she lifted her bright blue eyes to his face, her words died on her lips. “I was just...”

Of course she’d seen Vulcans before, though mostly in passing or on film, and like many girls, she found their exotic features rather attractive. This man was at least ten or fifteen years younger than any picture she’d ever seen, much less any she had encountered in person. He was also cute. Well, maybe cute wasn’t the right word, especially since she’d just tripped right into him, which was probably much more offensive to Vulcan sensibilities than a human child doing so. If so, well, it was too bad that she wasn’t a nine-year-old boy, and she refused to be intimidated. So she straightened up to her full five-foot-four, lifted her chin, and gave the handsome young Vulcan her most dazzling smile.

“I apologize. My student’s never met an outworlder, and he got pretty excited. Say hello, Micah.”

“H-hi,” Micah squeaked from behind her.

@multirptrash

[kingyeoms]

no one compares to you

request:  i was wondering if i can request dom!seokmin the night that he won an award (up to you) and the reader had worn something really revealing in his perspective? if you can maybe he has like an impreg kink or a praising kink?

pairing: lee seokmin x reader (f) genre: smut warnings: jealous!seokmin, dom/sub themes, slight(?) overuse of pet names, spanking, oral (receiving), swearing, slightish(??) praise, impreg, creampie, unprotected sex (use condoms pls)  word count: 3,139 reminder: this is purely fictional. don’t let your s/o tell you what you can and can’t wear!! a/n: this took forever i’m sorry i’m the absolute worst, but we already know that. also thank @yoontothemoon for the cheesiest title that i couldn’t come up with :’) ♡ best read on desktop, use mobile browser if you can’t read under the cut ♡

your boyfriend being nominated for best leading actor in a musical required you to set aside your typical leggings and sweatshirt duo for the black cocktail dress you bought for your cousin’s bachelorette party two years ago. you slipped it on, the dress barely clinging to the curve of your ass. much shorter than you remembered. you bit your lip, glancing at yourself in the mirror before checking the clock on your phone. there was no time to find another dress. seokmin was already waiting for you downstairs.

you knew the dress would be too short for seokmin’s liking, but it was the only thing you had in your closet that was suitable for an event this upscale. you tugged it down as much as you could, slipping on a pair of heels before locking the apartment door behind you.

seokmin leaned against the hood of his car, glancing up from his phone to eye you up and down, licking his lips at the sight of you hurrying towards him. he wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you into a brief kiss before his hand trailed down to your ass, his fingers tapping your bare skin, “you look absolutely stunning princess. how come i’ve never seen you in this before?”

“it’s been a couple years since i’ve worn it. it’s definitely shorter than i’d like it to be, but we’re late and i don’t have another dress, so it’ll have to do,” you grinned, pecking his cheek before adjusting the collar of his dress shirt, “let’s go?”

safe to say, seokmin never let you out of his sight the entire night. you first noticed when you were talking to jihoon, asking him about how his upcoming album was going, seokmin’s hand stealthily finding its place at your hip, pulling you closer to him. you shot him a confused look, since seokmin usually wasn’t this touchy, especially around the other members. his fingers tugged down the hem of your dress. ah, right. the dress. to be fair, despite the protests of the stylists, he offered you his suit jacket multiple times. you politely declined every time, not willing to admit that maybe you actually enjoyed seeing this side of your boyfriend.

in all honesty, he should’ve just glued his hand to your ass. every time seokmin’s eyes turned to you, his fingers immediately tugged on the hem of your dress. the other boys were starting to notice, soonyoung and mingyu’s eyes wandering to your thighs. if anything, seokmin was making the length of your dress even more noticeable.

the awards ceremony was packed with practically everyone from the entertainment industry, you being able to recognize at least 60% of the attendees from various television programs and films you watched. however, you were relieved to find that your table mate wasn’t a stranger, but rather an old family friend of yours, memories of drinking strawberry milk in the backyard and squabbling during christmas parties coming back to you. you grinned, “moon taeil, what on earth are you doing here?”

“i could say the same for you, y/n. long time no see,” he laughed, nodding a regards to your boyfriend, “you look absolutely stunning. by the way, congratulations on the nomination, seokmin.”

the two of you exchanged stifled giggles and quiet conversations in between presentations, seokmin chiming in here and there, his hand comfortably steady on your thigh. seokmin wouldn’t dare verbally tell you that he was perhaps, a tiny bit jealous of the attention you were paying to taeil, but it was evident in the way his fingers dragged across your bare skin, tapping incessantly to the rhythm of the loud music.

when they finally announced, lee seokmin, best leading actor in a musical, you were absolutely over the moon. your face beamed, watching your boyfriend walk onstage, his usual glowing radiance shining brighter than usual. you were too ecstatic to remember to pull down your damn dress. luckily for you, taeil noticed that every time you stood, seokmin would tug your dress to a more conservative length. 

“y/n, your dress,” taeil mumbled, amidst the thunderous applause and blasting music, noticing the amount of cameras that were pointed in your direction. you raised your eyebrow, trying to decipher what he was trying to say. “fuck it,” he cursed under his breath. his fingers immediately took the hem of your dress, pulling it down as quickly as possible. you shot him an apologetic look, mouthing a ‘thank you’ before focusing your attention back on seokmin.

from the stage, the only thing seokmin saw was taeil’s hand reaching behind you.

the rest of the night was silent, seokmin half-responding to you and the other boys, his grasp on you tighter than usual. after he got back to his seat, he absolutely insisted on you wearing his suit jacket, claiming that you were bound to get sick in this weather. he tied the sleeves of the jacket around your waist, effectively fixing your short dress problem. despite the rest of the boys insisting you all go out to celebrate, he shook his head, lying through his teeth, “sorry guys, we’re gonna call it a night. gotta wake up early tomorrow.”

the car ride home was no different, the air thick with tension as his fingernails dug into your inner thigh. you attempted to make small talk, joking about something the hosts said earlier in the night, only to get a half-assed nod in response. you glanced over at him, his eyes hooded, pupils darker than usual. his fingers trailed up your leg further, his lips pressed tightly before muttering, “wait until we get home.”

“seokmin, what’s wrong? you’ve been quiet all night and i do-” his lips crashed into yours, pinning you against the back of the door. he pushed the fabric of your dress up to your hips, the heat of his palms against your bare skin sending chills through your body. he trailed hot, wet kisses up your neck, rubbing the thin lace of your underwear in between his index and thumb.

“how are you gonna let taeil touch you like that?” he growled against the nape of your neck, teeth digging into a soft patch of skin.

“seok, he just p-pulled my dress down,” you whimpered, seokmin’s lips sucking purple bruises where he left kisses seconds prior. your fingers tangled through his hair, his half-hard cock pressing against your clothed core.

“god, when i saw you from the stage,” he struck the palm of his hand against your ass, fingers grabbing fistfuls of your stinging skin, “i wanted nothing more than to fuck you right then and there.” 

you pulled him into a kiss, his bottom lip slipping between your teeth. a free hand found its way to your hair, fingers at the base of your scalp as he deepened the kiss, his tongue swirling with yours. he hoisted you up, hands gripping your thighs as your legs immediately wrapped around his waist.

“god, we shouldn’t have gone tonight. we should’ve just done this earlier,” the two of you barely made it into the bedroom, your mouth still pressed against his lips, puffy and cherry red.

“you won an award though,” you moaned against his mouth, “we couldn’t miss it.”

“princess, you have no idea how badly i wanted to fuck you all night,” seokmin purred, his fingers tracing the curves of the dress, tugging the fabric up further and further, “take it off for me.”

he sat at the edge of the bed, licking his lips as he watched you sway your hips, your fingers slowly pulling down the fabric. he undid his belt buckle, tossing it to the floor as he palmed his bulge through his pants. the dress fell to the floor as you stood in front of seokmin in your matching black bra and panty set. he eyed you up and down as you walked towards him, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“of course taeil wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off you,” his voice muffled against the curve of your breasts, leaving a trail of soft kisses on your skin, his hands gripping your lace covered ass, “look at you baby, you’re so fucking beautiful.”

your cheeks flushed as he pulled you onto his lap, your fingers first frantically unbuttoning his dress shirt, then helping him slip out of his pants, licking your lips at the sight of his cock bulging in his underwear.

“but at the end of the night, i’m the one who gets to take you home, right?” you nod as his lips latched onto the skin of your breast, fingers fumbling to undo the clasps, your bra slipping off your shoulders. his thumb trailed to your nipple, rubbing circles around your hardening bud.

his fingers curled around the thin fabric of your panties, tugging them off before rubbing his palm against your bare cheeks, murmuring against your chest, “across my knee, sweetheart.”

you scrambled to adjust yourself to get on your knees, laying yourself across seokmin’s lap, the feeling of his hard-on pressed against your stomach stirring your heat. his fingers traced up and down the curve of your butt, “fuck, you’re so damn beautiful. wanna count for me, baby?”

you nodded, only for seokmin to strike his palm against your skin, a mewl leaving your lips as you squirmed in his lap. he smirked, kissing the top of your head before murmuring in your ear, “how many was that?”

“o-one,” you stuttered, wiggling your ass in the air higher, only for him to smack it one more time, his hand soothingly rubbing the skin soon after, “t-two!”

“such a good girl for me, aren’t you princess? keep counting for me, sweetheart,” he cooed, continuing his punishment — hardly one at all, judging from the way your slick began to drip down your inner thighs and the way seokmin’s cock began to throb against your stomach. his palm was tender against your skin, caressing the red marks that were sure to linger in the morning, “your ass is so pretty, darling. and all mine, right?”

“all for you, seokmin,” you purred, absolutely delighted when seokmin’s fingers brushed against your soaked panties.

“already so wet? be a good girl and spread your legs for me, will you baby?” he kissed your shoulder before laying you against the plush sheets, sliding your panties off, seokmin licking his lips at the sight of your glistening core. you spread your legs for seokmin, watching him slip out of his dress shirt and boxers before positioning himself in between your thighs.

“look at you,” he smirked, dragging an index finger painfully slowly up and down your entrance, “all nice and wet for me, aren’t you? what can i do to satisfy you, my darling?”

“s-seok, p-please,” you bit down on your lip, watching the way seokmin hummed against your thighs, teasing you with his fingers.

he glanced up at you, his index and thumb softly pinching your clit, “use your words, y/n. tell me what you want me to do.”

“n-need your t-tongue, i-inside me.”

“that’s my sweet girl,” his lips left a trail of sloppy, wet kisses up and down your inner thighs, licking a long stripe against your slit, nose rubbing against your clit. your fingers tugged on his curls, arching your back against the sheets, driving seokmin’s tongue further deep inside you.

“p-please, s-seok,” you twisted and turned your neck, cries muffled against the cotton pillows, “don’t s-stop!”

seokmin grinned, eyes gleaming at the sight of you, absolutely fucked out, and all for him. his hands spread your hole open, tongue flicking against your clit. if you were to ask seokmin what his version of heaven was, he would confidently say eating you out, your legs thrown over his shoulders, his tongue swirling around your bud, fingers curled deep inside of you.

“nobody else can make you cum like this, right baby?” you shook your head into the mattress. seokmin pulled away from your pussy, amused at the pout on your face and the whine that left your lips, “tell me, y/n,” he crooned, thumb pressing against your clit, “you think taeil can make you cum like this?”

“n-no he can’t,” you stuttered, seokmin raising an eyebrow, “you’re the o-only one who m-makes me f-feel so good, s-seokmin. only one w-who can f-fuck me until i c-cum.”

he grinned, content with your answer, returning his mouth to its rightful position: on your clit.

you struggled to wrap your legs around his head, thighs shaking, seokmin taking one hand to steady you. the other, pushed one finger into your folds, the sound of your stickiness absolute music to his ears. he stretched you with one finger, then two, finally three of his digits plunging inside you. he pushed his thumb above your sex, driving his fingers knuckle deep as you cried out a string of obscenities and his name. his mouth worked your clit, licking and sucking until you felt your legs give out, your grip on his scalp tightening, “f-fuck, s-seok!”

his tongue swirled your skin, lapping up the sticky sweet that dripped down your thighs. he sucked his fingers clean, pushing his hair back with his other hand, scooting up to meet your lips, “you wanna taste yourself, sweetheart?”

you nodded, seokmin’s tongue sliding against yours, the salty sweet taste of your own arousal filling your mouth.

“you taste so fucking sweet, princess,” he groaned, “even if i ate you for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, i still wouldn’t be satisfied.”

“s-seokmin,” your fingers wrapped around his cock, thumb spreading precum around the head of his shaft, “want you to fuck me, p-please..”

“what was that princess?” lips pressed against the base of your ear, having heard you loud and clear, “what do you want me to do?”

“s-seok,” you whimpered, hand sliding up and down his length at an uneven pace, “need you to f-fuck me, want your b-big cock inside me, p-please?”

“f-fuck, i wanna pump you full, sweetheart. will you let me? you wanna have my babies, y/n?”

you whimpered into the crook of his neck, thighs squeezing tight at the thought of seokmin filling you up until his cum leaked out of your holes. “seok, please,” you were begging at this point, “p-please f-fill me with y-your c-cum, pretty p-please?”

“your cute little pussy is gonna look so good with my cum dripping out of it,” he groaned, rubbing the tip of his cock against your folds, “i’m gonna fill you up until i can see your pretty little belly all swollen, full of my cum.”

your nails dug into his skin, dragging thin red lines down his back as he aligned his hips with yours, his name leaving your lips in a muffled cry, your teeth sinking into his shoulder. he slid into you with ease, seokmin taking a moment to look at you, his palm caressing the curve of your cheek before placing a soft kiss on your forehead, “you’re doing so well for me, my love. look at you, so beautiful, and just for me.”

“s-so g-good,” you moaned, eyes rolling to the back of your head, wrapping your legs around his waist, “need you so badly, p-please?”

he kissed you again, drawing himself back before pushing his length into you, fingers digging crescent shaped bruises into your hips. he cursed under his breath, your walls squeezing around every inch of him as he pumped himself in and out of you. your fingers scrambled to grip his wrists tightly as he began to pick up speed, the sound of his skin slapping against yours filling the room. you arched your back against the sheets, the warmth of seokmin’s cock filling you up, making you mewl and moan his name. his thumb reached down to rub circles on your nipple, fingers curling around your breast as he groaned, “s-so fucking tight for me, princess. you’ll let me cum inside, won’t you? gonna keep all of my cum inside of that pretty little pussy of yours, isn’t that right baby? make sure none of it leaks out, fill you up until you’re pregnant, yeah?”

“s-seokmin, want you to fill me up p-please? been such a g-good girl for you, just w-want all of your c-cum,” at the pace that seokmin was slamming into you, it took every fiber of your being to even make out a coherent response, your lips only able to form garbled mumbles of his name after that.

your hands wrapped around his neck, pulling him in to swirl your tongue against his, the kiss hot and sticky. he groaned against your lips, teeth tugging on your bottom lip as you ran your fingers through his hair, before whimpering, “w-want to c-cum w-with you.”

seokmin took your wrist, pressing your thumb to your swollen bud, guiding you to trace tiny little circles on your clit, “you wanna cum baby? be a good girl and touch yourself for me, yeah?”

you let out a whine, your index and thumb nipping at your clit while seokmin fucked you hard, pulling your hips up further towards him. your thighs clamped tighter around his waist, the sensation of your pussy clenching around his cock just enough to drive him to climax, his thrusts getting more sporadic but harder.

“f-fuck, princess.. i’m g-gonna c-cum,” he groaned, stuffing his cock deep inside, shooting streams of thick, pearly white into you while you felt yourself release soon after. your fingers sunk into his forearms, digging fainted streaks into his skin while you rode out your high, galaxies swirling in the back of your head, unable to keep your eyes forward.

seokmin slowly pulled out, pleased to see the way your stomach bulged out a bit along with his milky seed leaking out of you, your folds painted with his creamy cum. he dragged himself back up to meet your lips, brushing away the stray hairs that stuck to your temples, grinning at the sight of you nuzzling into his neck, “pumped you full, didn’t i, princess?”

“like you always do,” you nodded, still in a dazed state, reaching down to scoop some of his seed into your fingers before sucking them clean, “tastes good, too.”

he smirked, smoothing the skin of your waist before kissing your temple, “i’m the only one who gets to fuck you like that, isn’t that right?”

you rolled your eyes before the corners of your mouth curled into a grin, playfully slapping his chest, “i’m never wearing that damn dress again, i swear.”

seokmin’s laugh rang through the room, pulling you into his arms while your head rested on his chest, “i definitely think you should wear the dress more often. just make sure i’m the only one who gets to see you in it.”

[purplesurveys]

655

Can you name a uniquely named crayon in the Crayola 64 pack? The one color name I have never ever EVER forgotten in the last 15 or so years I’ve been aware of Crayola 64, is macaroni and cheese. I used it a lot solely because of its name. Carnation pink was also pretty unique to me, and I remember being bothered as a kid as to why they didn’t just name it pink lmao. What kind of car did your parents have while you were growing up? We used to have a sky blue Mitsubishi Lancer that was around for a little over a decade. Do you tie your socks together or roll them up? I roll them up and put it in a ball. I am not aware that tying up socks is a thing. When's the last time you had peanut butter? Ooh, safe to say it was many months ago. I don’t really like peanut butter as a filling; I like peanut-butter flavored food more, but I haven’t had those in a while, either. What was your last bad date? It’s been a while. My girlfriend and I barely see each other, so we try not to fight in the 1-2 times a week that we get to hang out.

Do you ever wish your birthday was on a different day? In 2019 I certainly wished it was on a different day, because my birthday then was on the same day as Easter and none of my friends were available to celebrate with me – save for Angela who went great lengths to make sure she at least had dinner with me and made me feel less sucky. What holiday would you want to have your birthday on? I’d never want to have my birthday on a holiday again, if that last answer wasn’t clear enough. Have you ever gone snorkeling or scuba diving? I’ve gone snorkeling in Boracay and Palawan, and that one time we went on a beach trip for biology class in high school. I’ve never tried scuba diving, and I’m a little anxious to give it a shot if ever because I feel like it’s a little more complicated to follow than just snorkeling.

If yes, what's the coolest thing you've seen? Allow me to be a kid in answering this, because the genuinely coolest creatures I have ever seen are the Nemo and Dory kinds of fish :)))))) Do you sunburn easily? As a kid yes. They used to hurt a lot too. I don’t sunburn at all now but I do get very tan. What's your favorite filling in chocolates? Peanut butter. When's the last time you had a smore? Sometime in senior year of high school. I had a brief phase of liking smores, but then I ordered it too much and I got tired of it quickly. Have you read the Twilight series? More times than I could count. Does your best friend have any phobias? Not really a phobia but Gabie doesn’t like being in malls as they are closing because she gets scared of the sound of the roll-up doors getting pulled down. She says she feels like she’ll get trapped inside the mall hahaha. What's the last thing you said to your mom? I asked her if she wanted a kind of snack I know she likes, since I’ll be passing by the store that has them. Why couldn't you go to sleep the last time you were up all night? This doesn’t happen to me, fortunately. If I can’t sleep, watching YouTube videos while in bed would do the trick. What breed of dog do you find the most annoying? Fucking chihuahuas. I care for them whenever it’s necessary e.g. if I hear a story about an abused chihuahua, but in the grand scheme of things I do not like them at all. Do you prefer the taste of lemon or limes? Lemon. What do you think about Sarah Palin running for president in 2012? I don’t have much knowledge or opinion of politics of other countries. What would you name your firstborn son? I’d definitely insert a tribute to my significant other’s dad as a second name, but I’m still not 100% sure on a first name. Do you cook anything you don't like eating? I can’t even cook food that I do like, lmao. What's the last picture you colored? It’s a photo of a group of houses, which is a page in an adult coloring book that I own. Do you make out sentences out of the little Vday candy hearts? No. What is the cheesiest way a guy could propose marriage? Idk, anything can be cheesy/sweet as long as you pull it off.

Do you watch any reality shows on MTV or VH1? I never did. Would you have a better chance of surviving in the Sahara or Alaska? Sahara. I’m in a tropical climate, so I feel like I’d have some survival hacks somewhere hot. I don’t know how winter works at all, and what to prepare for it. When's the last time you pet a cat? Last night, when I played with the only kind cat in my college. Were you missing your front teeth as a child? My front teeth were the first ones to fall out, so for a time I was missing them, yes. They grew back after a few months though, as did my other teeth. Do you remember Eureka's Castle on Nick JR? I always encounter the title but I don’t think I’ve actually seen it or if it aired here at all. What's the last song you hummed to cuz you didn't know the lyrics? The new songs Hayley Williams put out AS A SOLO ARTIST!!!!!!!!!!!! that I have yet to memorize – Sudden Desire, Creepin’, and Cinnamon. What would you say is Paris Hilton's occupation? She’s a businesswoman. And a successful one at that, lmao. If you could have a body like any celebrity's, who would it be? Idk I don’t find myself wanting anyone’s figure. If you could have any celebrity's baby, who would it be? Now this is just creepy. Do you know anyone whose name starts with Sh? Yeah, I have an orgmate named Shealea, a co-member in the graduating batch committee named Shaira, and a high school batchmate named Shela. I’m sure there are more but they’re the first ones I remembered. What's the worst Christmas present you've ever received? I don’t rate my gifts from best to worst. I’ve loved all my gifts. Are you wearing a necklace? Nopes. Do you have any noticeable moles or birthmarks? I have a birthmark behind my left shoulder that’s visible when I’m wearing a sleeveless top, and a mole on my right arm. Is there a salon you religously go to for beauty care? No. Quite the opposite situation actually - I haven’t been to a salon since 2018 :/ Count to ten in another language. I know two other languages (Filipino and Korean), so I’ll just give both of theirs haha. Isa, dalawa, tatlo, apat, lima, anim, pito, walo, siyam, sampu; and hana, dul, set, net, daseot, yeoseot, ilgop, yeodeol, ahop, yeol. Do you feel uncomfortable telling friends they have boogers in their nose? Yeah, but I don’t encounter this situation a lot. What do you remember from sex ed class when you were younger? We weren’t given sex ed, we were just taught the female and male reproductive systems in Grade 5 and that was it. I didn’t know how babies were made until I was in Grade 6, and before that I just thought all women who got married got pregnant automatically, as if the body knows.

What's the first instrument you ever played? That I don’t necessarily know how to play? My best guess is the piano. My mom took photos of me when I was a year old playing the grand piano at my aunt’s house, so that was probably the first. Are you a mommy's child or daddy's child? Daddy’s girl, for sure. What's the last thing you wore around your neck? A lanyard holding my car keys. My ID used to be attached to the lanyard but I’ve since lost it, so now it’s my keys that hang from it. Would you ever eat rhino meat? Like once, just to try it out and because I’m more of an adventurous eater. Who do you think deserves an award? Me, after finishing the shitstorm that was last week lol. Have you ever had a friend break up with a bf/gf for you? No. Do you own any books with a red cover? Yeah. Chris Jericho’s second autobiography Undisputed is predominantly red.

[lagilliland]

press release - RiffTrax Live:2019

Fans of mystery science theater should enjoy this live-via-satellite series.

A Trio of Super Cheesy B-Movies to Be Grilled on Big Screens Nationwide with ‘RiffTrax Live: 2019’ Series 

DENVER – March 25, 2018 –RiffTrax’s Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy, and Bill Corbett (of Mystery Science Theater 3000® fame) are back in cinemas to celebrate the 10th anniversary of RiffTrax Live with three all-new riffs on what are sure to be fan favorites with “RiffTrax Live: 2019.” Join Mike, Kevin and Bill as they take on B-movie classics: the guy-in-a-rubber-suit creature feature “Octaman,” the Casper Van Dienspace odyssey “Star Raiders,” and new HD transfer of the MST3K favorite “Giant Spider Invasion.” 

Since first partnering in 2009 with “RiffTrax Live: Plan 9 from Outer Space” the RiffTrax and Fathom Events partnership has resulted in the screening of 29 unique titles, over 49 play dates, in an average of 616 movie theaters per title, with more than 1 million tickets sold for a total gross box revenue of $13.8 million (not including the 2019 events). 

Tickets for the three “RiffTrax Live: 2019” titles can be purchased at www.FathomEvents.com and participating theater box offices. For a complete list of theater locations, visit the Fathom Events website (theaters and participants are subject to change). 

“RiffTrax Live: Octaman”Thursday, April 18, 2019 at 8 p.m. EST/ 7 p.m. CST/ 7 p.m. MST/8 p.m. PST (live)Wednesday, April 24, 2019 at 7:30 p.m. local time (rebroadcast) 

Deep in the Mexican jungle, a legendary creature lurks in a radioactive swamp. Is it a man? Is it an octopus? No, it’s OCTAMAN! Okay, it’s a man in an octopus suit, but he’s really angry and decides to go on a light killing spree. 

A scientific expedition sets out to study this atomic mutant and stop it before it kills again. They’re not very good at it, since Octaman kills quite a lot — probably because THE DUMB SCIENTISTS KEEP STEALING ITS BABIES! It seems there’s no stopping the monster until it develops a crush on the plucky lady scientist Susan Lowry (Pier Angeli) and does what all mutant sea creatures like to do - it knocks her out and carries her away. Will the rest of the team be able to rescue Susan before Octaman picks them all off one by one? Looks pretty doubtful! 

Directed by the writer of “Creature From the Black Lagoon,” and featuring costumes and effects by a young Rick Baker, Octaman is a wonderfully awful rubber monster B-movie. Join Bill, Mike and Kevin live as they risk life and limb to deliver the laughs from the clutches of Octaman! 

“RiffTrax Live: Star Raiders”

Thursday, June 6, 2019 at 8 p.m. EST/ 7 p.m. CST/ 7 p.m. MST/8 p.m. PST (live)

Tuesday, June 11, 2019 at 7:30 p.m. local time (rebroadcast) 

It’s the year 2762. The galaxy is plagued with warring factions using hokey special effects to destroy each other. Out of this chaos a hero rises: the dashing, exquisitely bearded Captain Saber Raine (Casper Van Dien). Saber and his elite squad of commandos (other actors) embark on a dangerous quest to save the Prince and Princess of an unnamed planet from the clutches of the Evil Overlord Sinjin - an overlord so evil HIS VERY SKULL IS FILLED WITH CHERRY JELL-O. 

Can our heroes fend off Sinjin’s army of mutant androids and rescue the Prince and Princess? Probably! After all it’s Space Opera, but you never know! Join Mike, Kevin and Bill for an unforgettable Sword-And-Laser Swashbuckling-ly fun time, beamed to theaters nationwide! 

“RiffTrax Live: Giant Spider Invasion”

Thursday, August 15, 2019 at 8 p.m. ET/ 7 p.m. CT/ 7 p.m. MT/8 p.m. PT (live)

Tuesday, August 20, 2019 at 7:30 p.m. local time (rebroadcast) 

The “Giant Spider Invasion,” one of the most popular MST3K movies ever, is coming to a theater near you along with the mighty men of RiffTrax! 

There’s a monster in Wisconsin, and it’s going to slowly, VERY slowly, strike TERROR INTO YOUR HEART! Sure, your grandma could outrun it, but TERROR is more fun! When a fiery meteor lands in the woods, strange things begin to happen in this small Wisconsin town — even weirder than usual, and that’s a pretty high bar! 

While the townspeople are picked off by spiders of varying sizes, two esteemed scientists ramble around the countryside in a late model sedan, where they find friendship, romance and a big mechanical spider built on a Volkswagen Beetle chassis! 

Starring Alan Hale Jr, the (Skipper from Gilligan’s Island), Barbara Hale (Perry Mason, and no relation to the Skipper) and Robert Easton, who’s been in more movies than a No Smoking disclaimer, Bill Rebane’s “The Giant Spider Invasion” explodes across the screen in a pristine new digital transfer. Join Bill, Mike and Kevin as they serve up the cheesiest cheese America’s Dairyland has to offer, LIVE in movie theaters nationwide. 

RiffTrax Live, a theatrical comedy experience, is best enjoyed with friends, and so RiffTraxians, MSTies, and comedy fans will meet up in theaters to enjoy the show, live on the big screen. Mike, Kevin, and Bill perform their ultra-funny commentary ("riffing") in front of a live audience, with the resulting hilarity beamed via satellite to cinemas across the nation.

“Fathom is proud to be celebrating a funny and fruitful decade with the RiffTrax crew,” Fathom Events CEO Ray Nutt said. “We look forward to continuing our partnership and bringing their unique and hilarious events to fans across the nation.

About Fathom Events

Fathom Events is the leading event cinema distributor with theater locations in all top 100 DMAs® (Designated Market Areas) and ranks as one of the largest overall theater content distributors. Owned by AMC Entertainment Inc. (NYSE: AMC); Cinemark Holdings, Inc. (NYSE: CNK); and Regal, a subsidiary of the Cineworld Group (LSE: CINE.L), Fathom Events offers a variety of unique entertainment events in movie theaters such as live performances of the Metropolitan Opera, top Broadway stage productions, major sporting events, epic concerts, the yearlong TCM Big Screen Classics series, inspirational events and popular anime franchises. Fathom Events takes audiences behind the scenes for unique extras including audience Q&As, backstage footage and interviews with cast and crew, creating the ultimate VIP experience. Fathom Events’ live Digital Broadcast Network (“DBN”) is the largest cinema broadcast network in North America, bringing live and pre-recorded events to 975 locations and 1,578 screens in 181 DMAs. The company also provides corporations a compelling national footprint for hosting employee meetings, customer rewards events and new product launches. For more information, visit www.FathomEvents.com. 

About RiffTrax

RiffTrax is an entertainment company featuring the stars of the Emmy-nominated, Peabody Award-winning show “Mystery Science Theater 3000.” Comedians Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy (Tom Servo) and Bill Corbett (Crow T. Robot), bring their funny running MST3K-type commentary to movies of all kind. From riffs on the biggest Hollywood blockbusters to the worst B-movies, RiffTrax has a library of over 500 titles available at RiffTrax.com and on digital platforms everywhere. RiffTrax has also produced five prime time television specials for the National Geographic Channel. RiffTrax releases a newly riffed movie, short film or TV program each week, and performs the RiffTrax Live comedy series four times a year where a movie is riffed live and simulcast into over 700 theaters across North America. Our brand-new RiffTrax app on iOS and Android magically syncs our Riffs to the biggest blockbuster movies like Star Wars, Twilight and Harry Potter. RiffTrax was founded in 2006 and is headquartered in San Diego, CA. To find out more about RiffTrax, visit www.rifftrax.com/aboutus.

[blessed-but-distressed]

#FindEmmaSwanAFriend

Feeling left behind by her more successful, settled friends, Emma Swan moves to Scotland on a whim. Sure, she’s winning at Instagram, but something is still missing from her new life. Fortunately, her friends back home are on it. #FindEmmaSwanAFriend goes viral. Enter Killian Jones, reluctant columnist, who is on the hunt for his newest subject, and may just have found her. CS AU.

also on ff.net

Tagging: @katie-dub , @wholockgal, @kat2609, @whovianlunatic, @optomisticgirl, @ladyciaramiggles, @the-lady-of-misthaven, @emmaswanchoosesyou, @ilovemesomekillianjones, @biancaros3, @cigarettes-and-scotch-whisky, @ms-babs-gordon, @ab-normality, @andiirivera, @fangirl-till-it-hurts and whoever else asks me.

Thank you to @lenfaz, for the being a fantastic cheerleader and @wholockgal for the guidance. Sorry this one took so long, guys.

Killian

Liam was not happy, to put it mildly.

The staff meeting had not gone well. In fact, to call it a fucking fiasco wouldn't have been too far off the mark. Normally, Killian was content to doze through the daily briefings, only too happy to tune out as his colleagues attempted to outdo each other in a race to churn out the cheesiest puff pieces they could. It was a race to the bottom, as far as Killian was concerned.

Alright, so his own copy was not exactly what you would call hard-hitting. Friendless Americans were hardly in the same realm as child soldiers, or Ebola. It certainly wasn't going to win him any awards any time soon. But at least he didn't spend fifteen minutes that morning boasting about bagging an interview with a second-tier novelist who was still content to tread the same tired ground Ian Rankin had first broken… thirty years ago.

No, Killian's usual method of coping through the morning briefing was to drink his subpar coffee in subdued silence, wishing he were still in bed. Or better yet, dead. And he might've continued in that vein, if he hadn't been busy scanning the newest copy edits to drown out the droning, and seen the hatchet job on page 7.

What came next, well... perhaps Killian could have handled things better. But in summary, no, Liam was not happy.

"For chrissakes, Killian," he said, one hand pulling his office door closed behind them, the fingers of the other pinching the bridge of his nose. "You can't keep doing this."

"Me?" Killian asked in disbelief.

"Aye. You. When I said I wanted you to become more engaged in the staff meetings, this is hardly what I meant!"

"I didn't-" Killian began, but Liam cut him off with defeated sigh.

"Did you really have to call her a dopey bint?"

"Three different misspellings of the word 'bureau'!" Killian countered. "Three! In an article that's barely 500 words long! Not to mention what she did to the title of the Edwards piece-"

"It's not about the typos!" Liam interrupted, slamming his palms down onto his desk with such force that the ornamental cup of pencils on his desk rattled in their container. "It's about the conduct. Your conduct. And honestly, I'm sick of making excuses for you!"

Liam rarely shouted. His weapon of choice was usually a look of quiet disappointment, one which he wielded with deadly intent. To see him properly hot under the collar… Killian felt like a chastened child, the first stirrings of shame warming his cheeks.

"Is that what you've been doing?" Killian responded softly, the words tripping off his tongue with a vulnerability that made him cringe inwardly.

Though he regretted his tone, it did at least seem to take some of the wind out of Liam's sails, his brother's expression morphing from anger to something more stricken.

"I didn't-" Liam began, holding his hands up in a placating gesture, "I didn't mean it like that."

"No?"

"Dammit, Killian," Liam groaned, sinking into his office chair with an audible squeak against the leather. "I'm trying here, okay? You think it's easy, running this place? With all the sniping and poor formatting, and Ingrid breathing down my neck 24/7, just waiting for an excuse to close us down?"

"Close us down?" Killian repeated, momentarily sidetracked. He knew things had been difficult, but... "I thought the entire point of a family enterprise was she wouldn't do that?"

Liam's laugh was hollow as a drum. "Maybe if we were remotely profitable…" he responded bitterly. And then, as if realising for the first time the significance of what he just uttered, he straightened, and gave Killian a meaningful look. "You didn't hear that."

"Of course not," Killian scoffed.

"Look," Liam began, pasting on what Killian liked to think of as his reasonable face. "I know this isn't what you want to be doing. And I know Lindsay can come off as a barely literate braggard. But honestly? She's the best we can afford. So can't you just work with me here? Swallow your pride. Apologise to the lass. I don't have the budget to send you out for workplace sensitivity training, and I doubt it would take anyway. So can you do that? For me?"

Momentarily stunned at finding himself drawn into his brother's confidence, Killian could only nod at first. "Aye," he said, when he'd finally recovered himself. "I'll do that."

He could almost see the physical weight of it lifting off Liam's shoulders as he said the words. "Thank you."

"Anything to keep the ship afloat," Killian said with a mock salute to his captain.

At the flippant gesture, Liam's eyes narrowed. "You will make the apology convincing, won't you?"

"Of course."

"It will require a little more than your usual flowery language and empty platitudes, brother. I'm talking about a sincere apology."

Killian tapped his temple with his prosthetic fingers. "Leave it to me."

Did you get my email? KJ

I'm not joining a mariachi band, Jones. ES

It wasn't a mariachi band. It was a flamenco dancing class. KJ

Yeah, either way I'm not coordinated enough for that. And then there's the ruffles... ES

Oh? And pray tell, what did ruffles ever do to you? KJ

Homecoming, 2003. ES

Oh really? KJ

Goodwill dress. Body glitter. Crimped hair. The works. There aren't any pictures. I know you would have liked that, but my foster brother burned them all. In hindsight, probably the nicest thing that little shit ever did. ES

...So ruffles are out. KJ

Ruffles are out. ES

He was nearly home, the train just leaving Haymarket when his phone began to vibrate in his inside pocket, the chorus of American Woman bursting out through tinny speakers. Ignoring the woman opposite scowling at him over the top of her copy of Metro, he answered it.

"This is a surprise. Are you rethinking the ruffles, lass?"

At first there was just silence, and he wondered if the call had dropped out. But then at last, there was a deep intake of breath. "Uh, hi. Look, I know this is really weird to ask, but is there any chance you're, I don't know, nearby?"

Killian thought he'd seen Emma Swan in a few different modes by now, but the voice on the phone was an entirely new proposition. Small. Uncertain. If he didn't know any better, he might think she sounded apologetic. Not a setting he thought Emma Swan came in.

"Nearby to... where, exactly?"

"Oh, uh, my place. In Newington. Next to the old Jewish cemetery?"

"I'm not familiar. Is that near The Meadows by any chance?"

"A couple of blocks South. I'm sorry. You're probably busy. I'll just figure it out myself. I'm sorry to bother you."

Two sorries in as many seconds. Second guessing herself aloud. Alarm bells were ringing in Killian's head. Something was not alright with Emma Swan. Without giving it much thought he made a grab for his laptop bag beside him with his false hand and looped it over his shoulders.

"Just text me your address."

She was sitting on the curb out front of her building when his taxi pulled up, hugging her bag to her chest. She made for quite the pitiful looking figure, illuminated as she was by the sickening yellow glow of the streetlight.

She looked almost surprised to see him emerge from the back of the black cab, as if she'd never called him in the first place.

"You didn't have to come," she said, rising to her feet, her eyes not meeting his. "I'm fine."

But whatever else she was, Emma Swan didn't seem fine. In fact, she seemed to be shaking.

Killian had his jacket off in a moment, draping it across her shoulders. It was harder for her to avoid his scrutiny at this distance, and he could see the quiver of her lip. The tell that meant Emma was only just holding it together.

"My apartment," Emma said, gesturing vaguely at the building in front of them. "They tossed it."

"They?" Killian doubted very much Emma had been the subject of a visit from law enforcement, but it was good to be sure.

She just shrugged, and it was the most helpless gesture he'd ever seen from her. Just your garden variety criminal, then.

"Have you phoned the police?"

She shook her head, fingers reaching out to pull his jacket tighter around herself. "I tried to call 999, but then I remembered it wasn't an emergency, and I tried to google the right number but my fingers felt like jelly and I just-"

She was almost in tears by this point, so Killian did what anyone in his situation would do. He took a step forward hugged her.

She resisted at first, her spine stiffening and he couldn't bring himself to be entirely surprised. Whatever else Emma might be, she did not strike him as much of a hugger. A childhood in care would do that to you. But she didn't push him away, and Killian didn't let go.

Instead he held her against his chest, his one hand travelling up and down her upper arm in what he felt was a soothing manner. And then before he knew it, Emma Swan the stoic was gone, and the real Emma Swan, replete with all the usual human fears and vulnerabilities, was hugging him back.

They waited at a kebab shop down the street until the police were done doing whatever it was they did in such circumstances. Dusting for fingerprints, taking photographs, disturbing Emma's neighbours for potential eye-witness accounts. They weren't optimistic about an arrest.

It was only once they'd finally left a little after midnight that Killian trailed Emma upstairs, to see the damage for himself.

They'd done a real number on the place. Furniture overturned. Drawers tossed, their contents strewn about in haphazard piles. Cupboard doors left open to reveal broken crockery. The only saving grace was Emma hadn't stumbled upon them while they'd been at it, stuck in an evening lecture.

Killian gave a low whistle. "Any chance you've renter's insurance, Swan?"

She gave him a level look that told him exactly where he could stick his renter's insurance.

"Phoned the landlord?"

Emma shrugged. "She's in Tenerife, apparently. Along with like half of Scotland. I left a voicemail."

"Locksmith? I know a good one. So do you, come to think of it."

"I do?" she asked, momentarily shaken from surveying the devastation.

"Robin. From karaoke? Best in the business."

"Really? Locksmithing? I would not have picked that. He seems so…"

Killian could feel himself smile at her floundering. "Well-spoken?" he offered.

She blew out a breath. "Well, yeah."

"He went to one of those schools," Killian explained. "You know, with the straw boaters, and the latin? The kind that likes to spit out Prime Ministers and investment bankers? It's been a lifetime, but the accent's hard to shake."

"Like Hogwarts?"

Killian snorted. "If you like."

"So what?" she asked. "He's the black sheep of the family?"

"On the contrary. It's his father that's been a guest of Her Majesty's Prison Service these last twenty five years. Ponzi scheme. Cheated rather a lot of people out of their life savings, as it turned out."

"Holy shit."

"Aye," Killian agreed. "He's not had an easy time of it. And now with raising his son on his own. But despite it all, he might just be the best man I know."

"And a hell of a locksmith?" Emma ventured.

He smiled. "Aye, that too. But it's getting late, and the little lad would be in bed by now. I doubt he could make it here tonight." He grimaced, shooting a glance at Emma's front door where the thieves had kicked it in. He doubted it would even stay closed, the state it was in. "I think it'd be best if you slept elsewhere tonight, lass."

He should have known that Emma Swan, the stoic, would make her return at some point. But he still groaned inwardly when she saw her cross her arms over her chest in that infuriatingly familiar way.

"It's just one night," she reasoned. "It'll be fine."

He was amazed how so few words could set his blood to boiling. "Are you bloody mad? You can't stay in here with your door hanging off the bloody hinges. Clearly the building isn't secure. Pack a bag, and I'll drop you at the nearest Travelodge."

Emma gave a scornful laugh. "You think I can afford a Travelodge now someone's ransacked my place? Academics really don't get paid nearly as much as you think they do."

Killian groaned. "Stay with me, then. There's plenty of room, and Elsa would love a female presence to counteract all the testosterone."

"Honestly, Killian. I'm fine. You think I haven't been in tighter spots than this? There's no need to put anyone out. It's not like they're coming back."

She was a stubborn lass. He'd always known it, but it was somehow so much more frustrating when she was working against her own self-interest. It was time for Killian to do a little arm crossing of his own. "I'm not leaving you here."

Emma rolled her eyes. "It's not your problem."

"No? My column does rather depend of you being whole and healthy for the full year. I'd say it's entirely my problem, you putting yourself at risk like this."

"I'm not leaving," she said, her tone defiant.

"Well, then neither am I," Killian replied, with some defiance of his own. Then, to further illustrate his commitment to the cause, he settled himself down on her couch, raising one challenging brow.

Emma gave an exasperated groan, dropping down onto the couch beside him. "You're infuriating, you know that?" she said, turning to him.

"I'm aware."

"Look, I know I'm the one who called you. But I swear, it was just a momentary freak out when I saw the place. I'm fine now. I'll put something in front of the door. A dresser or something. I know you're trying to be all noble or whatever, but I'm not some damsel in distress. I can take care of myself."

"Has it ever occurred to you, Swan," Killian said, scratching at his beard with mild irritation, "that perhaps it isn't so much about me thinking you weak, quite so much as you being deserving of someone's help?"

Emma hesitated.

"At least let me help you tidy the place up," he offered. And then with a sly smile in her direction, "Or are you worried leaving me in your flat too long, I might take the opportunity to rifle through your unmentionables?"

He got an elbow to the kidney for that, but she didn't technically shoot down his offer. So he set about to make good on it, reaching over to pick up a lamp that had been knocked to the ground. He could feel Emma watching him, wordlessly, as he bent down to retrieve a stack of books that were scattered on the floor.

"Problem, Swan?"

But instead of a proper response, she just threw her hands up with an exasperated, resigned sound and stalked off into the other room.

They were into the wee hours before the place was mostly set to rights, a pile of rubbish bags by the door fit to bursting with ruined or broken things. The thief or thieves in question had certainly not been gentle in their search for Emma's more valuable possessions.

"About done?" he asked, as Emma shuffled back into the main room, clutching a broom.

"Done!" she announced, flopping down onto the couch with clear exhaustion, letting the broom fall to the floor with a clatter.

"So what's the final damage bill, then?" Killian asked, coming over to perch on the edge of the coffee table. "What did they get?"

Emma emitted a small sound from where she lay face down, but quickly righted herself, giving Killian her full attention. Her hair was askew from where she had lain on it, a glorious mess, and Killian found himself smiling softly despite himself.

"Well, the good news is they didn't take my laptop, since I had it with me. And they never found the emergency stash I keep under the sink, because men never think to check inside boxes of tampons. But apart from the broken dishes, it's mainly just jewellery and stuff. My phone charger, which is a hassle. Some DVDs. They're Harry Potter fans, apparently..." Emma mused.

"So all perfectly replaceable then?"

At that, Emma frowned, her gaze fixed on the carpet by her feet. "Yeah, mostly."

"Mostly?"

Emma glanced back to him, her fingers unconsciously grazing the skin below her throat. "There was a… a keychain. With a swan on it? It's not worth much or anything, but I don't know... It has sentimental value, I guess."

Killian wasn't sure what to say, so he nodded to show he understood. It wasn't as if he could promise its safe return. He'd written enough articles to know items stolen during your average burglary were rarely recovered. And truth be told, it bothered him, that this was something he was powerless to address.

"So," he began, stretching his legs out with a yawn. "It being somewhere between too early and too late, are we sleeping or are we staying up until we can give Robin a call?"

"We?" Emma repeated. "You don't have to stay. Believe me, you've done plenty. Go home. Go to sleep. Don't you have work tomorrow?"

Killian shrugged. "It's Saturday. There's nothing pressing." Truthfully, he'd agreed to watch the boys that evening, while Liam and Elsa had dinner with the dreaded Aunt-in-law. But he could sleep before that. Or he could just put on Monsters Inc and doze during...

Emma regarded him for a moment, before seeming to come to some internal decision. "Okay, fine. I'll put some coffee on. What's your stance on Netflix?"

Killian grinned. "Pro."

Have you ever noticed that running tights only come in shades of Mountain Dew iridescent green or Barbie hot pink? ES

What would you prefer, fire engine red? KJ

You have ONE red jacket and suddenly you're typecast... But seriously. Who wants to be that visible? I mean, you're running. You're not a poisonous frog. ES

What exactly is your sudden fascination with lycra exercise wear? KJ

Okay, umm… don't freak out, but I joined a jogging group. ES

-Killian Jones calling-

Emma

The array was dazzling. Rack after rack of form-fitting, garishy patterned tights that she couldn't imagine wearing in a million years.

Things had changed since the last time Emma gave the exercise thing a shot. Whatever happened to sweat pants? Muted colors? Leaving the house without looking like a packet of Skittles? If this selection was anything to go by, incognito was out this season.

Emma was intimidated, she could admit that much. And couldn't bring herself to be entirely surprised when Killian appeared, magical-like, just as she turned into the sports bra aisle. She should have known, just by the way he'd sounded on the phone.

How sad was it, that Killian Jones was more enthusiastic about her own social life than she was? Then again, he was extorting money out of the situation. So there was that.

"A jogging group?" he repeated breathlessly, his good hand still clutched to his side, as if he'd just taken Princes Street at a run, Trainspotting-style. Yep, he was far too enthusiastic about this.

"As I said on the phone..." she said pointedly.

"I thought exercise was the devil?"

Yeah, she'd said that. And at the time she'd meant it. Hell, Emma wasn't sure she didn't still mean it. She hadn't pulled on a pair of sneakers since high school. She'd thought in waving goodbye to Ms Garrett, the sadistic gym teacher with her equally sadistic whistle, she'd also been waving goodbye forever to the world of incidental exercise.

It turned out 'forever' was a strong word.

It was easy enough to make excuses when you were neck-deep in your PhD and subsisting off coffee and a stipend that barely covered rent. It was somewhat harder when you were for all intents and purposes a grown ass woman with a job, and a 401K and at least three pair of jeans in your closet that no longer fit.

Especially now she'd discovered they stocked Lucky Charms in her nearest Sainsbury's, and she was up to three bowls a day.

Even so, she hadn't gone out looking for it. Them. Her prospective running mates. She'd been more preoccupied at the time with just getting out of the apartment. And also maybe a little about her reputation on Instagram.

She had to admit she hadn't been having the easiest time getting to sleep in the apartment, post-break in. Even with that shiny new deadbolt Robin installed, she still overreacted to every noise and squeak. Every rattle of the plumbing through her bedroom wall.

She didn't even really like her apartment. Hadn't even bothered to personalize it, or make it feel like home. But it was still an invasion, and it still bothered her. Imagining them in her space, rifling through her things.

Even now she felt her fingers reach up to the hollow of her throat, absently stroking the skin where her swan should have rested, dangling on its chain.

In a way, she was glad it was gone. The last reminder of him. Now she was free to forget. Like it never even happened.

On the other hand, that seemed dangerous. Forgetting him also meant forgetting the greatest lesson he ever taught her. And Emma wouldn't be caught dead making the same mistake again. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…

The Meadows were only a short walk from the apartment, a flat expanse of wet green grass emerging out of the early morning fog. Haar, Killian had called it, rolling in from the Firth of Forth like an extra in a bad B-movie.

The park was a favorite for students napping between classes, soaking up as much Vitamin D as the Scottish spring would give them. When Emma crossed it on her way home it was usually full of determined dog walkers and fitness bootcampers, lying spent on the grass.

At this time of day though, it was almost eerily quiet, without so much as birdsong to punctuate the silence. She could see some early morning joggers further on, ghostly figures in the mist, but they were barely there, intangible to her in her quest.

It was the cherry blossoms she'd come to see. It was the cherry blossoms that she was hoping would catapult her number of Instagram followers into four figures.

Everybody loved cherry blossoms.

They were a limited time engagement, and Emma had timed it just right. The cherry trees lined both sides of the avenues as they cut across the park at 45 degree angles, creating a canopy overhead of pretty pink flowers that wouldn't have been out of place in Mary Margaret's more ambitious pre-wedding scrapbooks. Paired with the fog, the haar, they looked like something out of a gothic fairytale.

Until, that is, the pair in the neon running gear came barrelling through the tunnel of trees, excitable chatter punctuated by necessary breaths. It wasn't a gothic fairytale, so much as a strange juxtaposition. Emma took the picture.

The girl on the left, a pretty brunette in a ponytail, noticed Emma and slowed down as they approached.

Emma took a quick step back, averting her eyes down to her phone, hoping to avoid a confrontation.

But the girl wasn't angry. On the other hand, she seemed way too chipper for not even six in the morning. "Oh my god, did you take a picture? Can I see? I bet it looks so cool with the blossom out."

Emma glanced at her, and then at her companion, an Asian girl with some serious muscle definition peeking out from the sleeve of her T-shirt. The girl gave Emma a look, one which almost pleaded to humor her. So Emma did. She turned her screen around to show them, and the brunette gave a delighted squeal, clutching her companion's arm.

"It's so cool! Please, can you send me it?" And then before Emma even knew what was happening, the girl had Emma's phone in her hands, and was inputting her phone number into contacts, unbidden.

Emma shared a look with the other girl, who only shrugged apologetically, as if this was par for the course.

Once she'd handed it back, she glanced down at the name she'd programmed into her phone.

"Aurora?" Emma repeated.

"That's me," the girl confirmed, flicking her ponytail over her shoulder with the kind of maneuver that would leave a lesser woman with whiplash. "It's a really good picture. Are you like a photographer or something?"

"Or something," Emma admitted. And then, without giving it too much thought, she took a step forward. "I'm Emma."

"Nice to meet you," Aurora smiled. "And this is Mulan," she said, poking a thumb in her friend's direction. "Usually there's more of us, but I think the fog scared them off."

"Or the getting up before dawn…" Mulan offered, with a barely concealed yawn. "Not my idea," she mouthed, once Aurora had turned her back.

Emma found herself warming to the pair, and Emma never warmed to anyone.

"You do this a lot, then?"

"Four times a week," Aurora chirped. Mulan made a face behind her, and Emma fought to maintain her composure. "During semester anyway. Most of us go home in the breaks."

"You're students?"

"Postgrad," Mulan cut in. "Theoretical Physics. That's how we met. You?"

Theoretical Physics. Well, that wasn't intimidating at all.

"Oh. I uh… I'm a lecturer. Undergrad American History."

"Wow, you look so young to be teaching," Aurora said with something like awe. Emma liked her already.

"I'm still getting my sea legs," Emma admitted. "This is only my first year here. I was teaching back in the States before."

She expected the pair to feign interest, like most people did when she started talking about work. But as far as she could tell, she still had their undivided attention.

Was this really happening? Was Emma's real life actually passing the Bechdel Test for once? And what was she willing to do, to preserve that feeling?

"So," Emma began, clearing her throat a little. "Is your running group like a private thing, or are you open for new members?"

"You run?" Aurora asked, her tone immediately overeager. Behind her, Mulan rolled her eyes at her friend's new-found, almost evangelical, zeal.

"Not really," Emma confessed. "But I'm thinking of giving it a shot."

Aurora held out a hand. "Welcome to the team, Emma."

"Swan?"

At the sound of his voice, Emma's mind crashed back into the present, back into the basement of Sports Direct amidst a sea of neon sports bras, and Killian giving her a funny look.

"Sorry, spaced out for a second. What were you saying?"

"You mean you're doing this of your own volition?" he repeated. "No undue coercion? No one is holding a gun to your head?"

"Don't be so dramatic," Emma sighed, moving further into the section, in the hopes he might be scared off by the plethora of practical lingerie. But if anything, the opposite was true, Killian keeping pace with her.

"I'm just trying to understand."

"Well it was either that, or wait for you to force me into taking up swing dancing or racquetball or something. I figured I'd take my chances. Besides, they're nice."

"Nice?" Killian repeated, almost disbelievingly. "Who are you, and what have you done with Emma Swan?"

"What? I don't hate all people."

"Just most people."

Emma frowned, turning to face him. "I thought you'd be happy. I thought this is what you wanted me to do? Put myself out there, yada yada yada."

"Are you kidding? I'm ecstatic."

Emma let her eyes rake over him, taking in the distinct lack of ecstasy. "Sure you are."

"I will be ecstatic when I have my first coffee of the day," he corrected. "For right now, let's just pretend I am."

"Right."

"So, are you going to model any of these for me?" Killian asked, reaching out to grab a strappy black number off the rack, holding it against his chest with a suggestive smirk. "I've been told I have excellent taste."

Emma snatched it off him. "In your dreams, Jones."

Then she looked down, considering the item in her hands. "Okay, so this one is kind of nice."

Out of interest, do you know of any way to remove chewing gum from hair WITHOUT chopping it off? Ideally before his parents come home and find him like this... KJ

Wow, that takes me back to 6th grade. Try olive oil. ES

Thank you. KJ

Which nephew got gummed? ES

Lachie. Of course. Though I suspect Callum put him up to it. KJ

Being an Uncle sounds like a blast. ES

That's certainly one word for it. KJ

Emma was dying, of that she was certain.

Everything hurt. Everything. Her legs were like jelly and her heart beat so fast she was half worried it was going to burst straight through her chest, Alien-style.

Running was a stupid idea. She saw that now.

It was a shame, because she quite liked Aurora and Mulan. Even a few of the others were kind of nice, when they bothered to show up. And no one ever thought to pepper her with questions when she was running, not while she was busy making dying cow noises at the back of the pack. That was a bonus.

But on the whole? Running was the worst.

If only she hadn't spent so much on her new, stupid running clothes, she might've been able to justify quitting. But how could she? And make herself look like an idiot in another one of Killian's columns? She just knew he'd seize on this. Another early failure for their project. Another excuse for him to bring out the big words to describe her utter inability to gel with the general population.

Screw it. Screw him. She wasn't giving up. She wasn't flighty, or inconstant or whatever else he might think to call her. She was a serious, determined person, and running was a learned skill. She hoped. Killian could take a flying leap.

Naturally, it figured that who should appear around the next bend, reclining on a park bench with that infuriating devil-may-care grin, but the man himself?

"Whoa," she called, to the group in front of her, before collapsing down onto the grass in an undignified heap, chest heaving.

He stepped into her line of vision, leaning over her sprawled body with an amused expression. "Water?" he asked, pulling a bottle out of somewhere.

Emma could feel herself salivating. She made a pathetic grab for it, but he pulled it out of her reach just in time.

"I hate you," she moaned weakly.

"I know," he smiled, lowering the bottle into her hands.

She didn't waste any time, tearing off the lid and guzzling it down all at once.

"Space yourself," he cautioned, but she ignored him, tipping the bottle back further until the last of its contents poured down her throat.

"I like the tights. The red is a good look on you," he said, coming to sit on the grass beside her. Emma threw the empty bottle at his head, but he caught it before it could make contact.

"Such violence," he chided, tossing the bottle up in the air in a casual flip, and catching it again. "And here I thought exercise might help you to temper that latent aggression."

"You thought wrong," Emma said deadpan, before taking another deep lungful of cool, delicious air. "What are you doing here, anyway? Don't you have work soon?"

"Aye. I do. And since I'm not permitted into work this morning without making a grand and effusive apology to a woman who scant deserves it, I thought I might delay it a while. Plus I have something for you."

Emma pulled herself up into a sitting position to better look him in the eyes. "For me?"

"For you," he confirmed. "But not here. How do you feel about breakfast? The Pantry?"

"But that's in Stockbridge!" Emma whined.

"Aye. But their avocado toast is excellent. And I really have no desire to get to the office before noon."

"Speak for yourself. I have a lecture at 11."

"We'll cab it," he pulled a black card from his pocket, and fanned his face with it. "I've got the company card, and you could rightly argue that this is a work excursion."

Emma snorted, but he still let him pull her to her feet. Just in time for the rest of her running group to appear around the bend, having completed another lap

They clustered around Emma, and she could feel a few interested glances shot in Killian's direction. Of course.

"You did great!" Aurora said, coming over to envelop her in a sweaty hug. "That's one more lap than last time. I knew you'd get the hang of it!"

Emma didn't feel like she was getting the hang of it, but nevertheless, she hugged her back. "Thanks."

She heard a few of the girls whispering to each other, and she knew it was better to address the elephant in the room.

"This is Killian," she said, batting him with her elbow. "He's my… columnist," Emma finished lamely.

Mulan shot her a quizzical look, but Emma just shook her head. "I'll explain later. We're about done, right?"

Without waiting for the chorus of vague agreement, Emma already had Killian by elbow, dragging him away from his newfound admirers.

Killian was right. The avocado toast was excellent. Nearly worth the extortionate prices they were charging for it. Nearly.

"So you said you had something for me?" Emma prompted, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Oh yes," he said, and then to her surprise, he reached behind his neck and unclasped the chain he wore around his neck. "Hold out your hand."

Before she could think too much about it, she did so and he dropped a silver medallion into her open palm. The metal was still warm from where it had lain against his skin.

"Uh, thanks? I didn't realize we'd reached the "gift giving" portion of our partnership. Especially jewellery with…" She squinted. "...religious iconography?"

"It's Saint Anthony," he explained, leaning forward to swipe a slice of tomato off her plate. "Patron Saint of Lost Things."

Emma shook her head. "But I'm not Catholic."

"Nor I. But for a couple of years we had some nuns looking after us. Some things tend to linger. I thought it might help you find that stolen keychain. Outside of that, I thought it might make a good placeholder, in the event it wasn't recovered."

Emma looked down at the medallion again, something curiously like tears burning at the corner of her eyes. It was a thoughtful gift. Really thoughtful. Emma couldn't remember the last time someone had given her one of those.

"Thank you," she said, glancing up so he knew she meant it.

He gave a small smile, and then as if sensing the strange tension that was fast filling the room, he cleared his throat. "You know, there was a Saint Killian."

"Was there?" Emma asked, drawing back her hair with one hand.

"Patron saint of rheumatism sufferers," Killian said softly, leaning forwards to take her hair between his fingers so she could secure the medallion herself.

"Catchy." Why were her fingers shaking?

"He has a feast day on 8th of July. I tried to convince everyone to leave me presents on that day in tribute, but no one went for it."

Finally, the clasp was secured, and Emma let the medallion fall between her breasts. She saw Killian's eyes follow the movement of it, then travel back to her face, cheeks coloring slightly.

"Funnily enough."

He cleared his throat again. "Except for my brother. Liam. He used to leave me a Galaxy bar on my pillow, every July 8th. Still does, in fact."

"I don't know what that is, but it's still cute."

Killian looked floored. "You've truly never had a Galaxy bar?"

"No?"

"Christ, Swan. I thought you Americans were at the forefront of all things confectionery."

"Funny."

Then suddenly Killian was rummaging around in his pockets for the credit card, and gathering up his coat.

"Uh, are you going somewhere?"

"Why, to get you a Galaxy Bar of course," he said, shrugging on his jacket. "Aren't you coming?"

[5hfanfiction]

Amnesia Ch. 04

Lauren

After spending hours at the cafe, the girls brought me to my apartment. They said I moved into it just before the accident. They didn’t say why I had moved out by myself, just that I had my reasons at the time.

With much protest from the girls, except from Camila–she seemed relieved for some reason–I was now alone sitting in front of my laptop googling Fifth Harmony.

Ally made sure I was okay before I had waved them out of the apartment wanting to be alone while I went on YouTube. Camila had mentioned that most of our lives were on the internet and until she said that, I never would have thought to go on there to check.

I first went onto the Wikipedia page for Fifth Harmony. 

Fifth Harmony is an American girl group formed on the second season of The X Factor US in July 2012.

My eyes scanned over the next few words.

In January 2013, they signed a joint deal with Syco Music, owned by Simon Cowell, and Epic Records, L.A. Reid’s record label, after finishing in third place on the show.

We finished in third place but still got a record deal? Sweet.

Following their exit from The X Factor, they released their debut single “Miss Movin’ On”, which was certified gold by the Recording Industry Association of America(RIAA). Its music video won the group the MTV Video Music Award for Artist to Watch. Their debut extended play (EP), Better Together (2013), had a first week position of number six on the US Billboard 200.

As soon as I read about the single Miss Movin’ On, I went to search for it on YouTube. The first video that populated on the page was the music video for the song. I clicked on it and it began to play.

Throughout the video I was in awe of each second. I couldn’t believe we had done a music video, let alone that there was an EP and that I, Lauren Jauregui, was a part of it.

I fangirled over the whole video, over myself, over the girls. This was a dream come true. This was than I could ever dream of.

From Miss Movin’ On, I watched Me & My Girls to BO$$, Sledgehammer and Worth It. I watched myself grow up in the videos and become this complete stranger.

I was not the Lauren from 4 years ago. I had transformed into I guess a better looking version, maybe even sexy? I don’t know. I just knew waking up, my body was much fuller in all the right places.

As the video finished for Worth It, I saw a recommended video that said, Fifth Harmony Auditions HD. I clicked on it, eager to see if it was the auditions for The X Factor.

I watched through Ally’s rendition of On My Knees by Jaci Velasquez, through Normani singing Chain of Fools by Aretha Franklin. Dinah sang If I Were A Boy by Beyonce and I sang If I Ain’t Got You by Alicia Keys. 

The video ended and I was stunned into silence. I couldn’t believe that I had auditioned for The X Factor.

I wished I could remember what I felt, what thoughts were running through my mind. I must have been exhilarated and overjoyed to have a dream come true.

I reflected back on the video and realized that Camila was not part of the audition video. I opened up the details section of the video and saw that Camila’s audition was never released because they never had the rights for Respect by Aretha Franklin.

What? That was some bull. So I wouldn’t be able to find it because of not having some rights. This was stupid.

I looked for my phone, looking for her contact. She was under Camz. Huh. There was that name again.

I clicked on the phone icon to call when I noticed in the recommendations a video titled, Top 30 Iconic Camren Moments.

Camren? Why were Camila’s and mine faces on there? And what was Camren. Curiosity getting the best of me, I clicked on the video, forgetting about calling Camila.

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

What was this? Did this really happen? Did Camila and I really have a relationship?

Was this what Camila had been talking about? It couldn’t be. The numbers kept counting down and I paid attention especially to number 23 which was unnecessary touching according to the person who put the video up.

Dumbfounded, I watched as there was a clip after clip of Camila and I being close with each other. We would hold hands or our arm would be draped over the other’s shoulder. One of the clips showed me nuzzling into her necking and her reaching over to hug me in close. I reached for her hand, and held onto it in an affectionate way.

But one scene caught my attention quick. It talked about Camila’s nicknames. Proudly I said I was the only one who called her Camz while the rest of the girls called her Mila.

_______________________

“Lolo. I think that best suits you since you’re such a teddy bear.” Mila was giving me her cheesiest smile and of course she was wearing her ostentatious bow on top of her head which just made her adorable in my book.

“Why am I a teddy bear?” My lips were pouty as I ushered the words out, pretending that to be hurt over being a teddy bear but I absolutely loved it coming from Camila.

“Because you’re so cuddly when we’re watching movies. It’s the best.” The answer so simple but it was her truth. Her smile didn’t falter at all during her reasoning and she seemed to blush after her words had been said.

I laughed. “Why are you blushing Camila?”

“Because I’m embarrassed.” She put her hands over her red cheeks. “Don’t laugh at me.”

With her hands on her cheeks and her smile fading into a pout, it looked like she was trying to make the chubby bunny face.

“Aw Camz, you’re so cute.” I couldn’t help but blush myself after calling her Camz for the first time. It rolled off my tongue better than saying Camila or Mila. I liked the ring it had to it.

I don’t know where the nickname came from but I for sure was going to keep calling her that if it made her as happy as she was now.

Her eyes had widen slightly at the nickname, but her smile grew and grew until I saw all her pearly whites. She forgot about her blushing cheeks, which if I was not mistaken, were redder now than they were before.

My heart was gushing at her cutesy self.

“Camz?” She wrinkled her nose and quirked an eyebrow my way. “I like it.”

______________________

I don’t know how long I was blacked out from the real world, but when I came to, I was breathing hard trying to come to terms with what had just happened.

That was a memory. It was a memory of when I started calling Camila, Camz.

I just had my first memory. I couldn’t say when it happened; the year or what month but I could tell it was at the beginning of when Fifth Harmony began.

A memory, something that wasn’t promised to me.

“Camz. I named you Camz.” I spoke the words out loud, even though I was the only one who could hear them.

Silence ensued after my words had finished. I wasn’t sure what to do. But I did notice, once I had gotten a grasp on what happened somewhat, that the video had finished.

I clicked on the restart icon and watched the video from beginning again, hoping another memory would take me by storm, but nothing else flashed through my head.

Camren. Camren was the mash up of mine and Camila’s names. Camren was the relationship Harmonizers thought we had. Not just a friendship but an actual relationship of which I had no recollection. Camren was evident in all the clips that were displayed on the video. 

Had we been more than just friends? There seemed to be enough proof from the video to indicate that there had been. But how could I say it was real when all I could remember was the nickname I gave Camz?

Only one person could tell me and she was not here. I grabbed my phone again, this time going through with the phone call.

Here’s to hoping she still had the same number.

“Hello? Lauren? Is everything okay?” Her voice was cute and groggy. Had I caught her sleeping?

“Hey, yeah. I–Did I wake you?” I bit my lip, feeling nervous for having called her at all.

“No, not at all.” I heard a yawn.

I laughed. “Why do I get the feeling that you’re lying?”

“I’m not-” She yawned once again. “Lying. Okay maybe I am but I don’t mind that you called.”

So adorable. I don’t know what it was, but this girl had me calling her things that I had never really called a girl before. Or at least from what I could remember.

“You sure everything is okay though?” Her tone turned serious. “If you need me to come over–”

“Please,” I whispered. “I know it’s past midnight, but I need your help.” Desperation laced my voice, pleading her to come here. 

“I’m on my way. Be there in 30.” She hung up the call.

I had 30 minutes before she was here. What else could I do to pass the time?

I put my phone back on the table next to my laptop. My eyes skimmed over the YouTube page I still had opened.

Camren.

I could click on another video…

Should I? Or should I not? Maybe I shouldn’t until Camz cleared it up.

But the next title was so tempting…

My finger had a mind of its own and clicked on it before I could second guess myself. I watched all of it, surprised by how the fans had captured moments between us like we had a relationship or something more than a friendship.

None of my childhood friends had been that close to me before. I had never been touchy feely with them to the point that it looked like we were an item.

But I had to wait for Camz to confirm if it was the truth or not.

And yet I couldn’t stop watching videos waiting for her to come here. I could sneak one more in…

And maybe another…

What??

Camren is real? 

Oh shit.

It’s true?

Shit.

Caught up in the video and how it had ended, I was not prepared for the abrupt knocking on my door.

I flew off the couch, my cheeks red and for some reason puffing air out hard from my mouth.

Well, fuck. Camila was here.

I quickly closed all the tabs on my computer and shut it down.

“Coming!” I yelled out once I had made sure there was no incriminating evidence of what I had been doing.

Though I had called her over here because of Camren, I did not want to her to know I had been doing my own little research on the subject.

I walked over to the door to my apartment, stopping to check through the peep hole before opening the door. Had to make sure it was Camila there before assuming and opening up to a stranger.

I opened my door wide and there was Camila. Not the Camila I had seen in most of the videos. This version of Camila had lost her baby fat and she was stunning. She was now beautiful. Well she had been beautiful before, but she had grown into a beautiful young woman.

Oh God. I sound like a mother in my head. I should stop. I really should.

“Uh hey? Did you want me to come in?”

Oops, I was too focused on my thoughts.

“Yeah, sorry. Come in.” I moved aside to let her in. As she passed by me, I ran my hand through my hair trying to figure out how to act around her.

Camren wasn’t a secret for me now. I knew about it. Well as much as the internet could tell me. But the question now was: did Camren exist or did it ever exist?

“Lauren? Lauren? Are you okay?”

Camila was waving her hand in front of my face trying to get my attention.

“Sorry Camz.” I apologized.

“Camz?” She crinkled her nose just she had in my memory. Even had her eyebrow quirked at me. “Did you remember something?”

Should I tell her? 

Nah…

“No. Um I just said it earlier and you didn’t say no to it so I assumed it was okay to call you that?”

Such a good excuse Laur. Very believable.

“Oh. Uh I don’t mind it.” She had been looking at me and then she looked away briefly, before coming back to look me in the eye again.

“So…” Why was it so awkward? Why did I feel so awkward being here with her? I hardly knew her. I mean I knew her, but I didn’t know her at the same time.

I didn’t remember what she liked or the things we had done together but she was familiar.

“Is everything okay? I was worried the whole way over here. You sounded funny on the phone. Your mom would never forgive me if I let something happen to you. Please tell me everything is okay.” The words were rushing out her mouth, faster than my brain could comprehend.

“Woah, Camz. Slow down. Don’t sound so worried. Nothing to worry about, okay? I’ve got all my limbs and my mind. Maybe no memories as of yet, but I’m in one whole piece.”

I spun around to prove to her I was completely fine. Face to face with her again, I noticed she was biting her lip.

“Then why am I here​ Lauren?”

“Well…” How could I break the news that I wanted to learn about Camren? Maybe running my words all together? “IwanttoknowaboutCamren.”

“Huh?" 

The words spewed out of my mouth again, in a jumbled mess. "IwanttoknowaboutCamren.”

“Did you say Camren?”

Oh God. Here we go. 

I nodded my head, confirming what she questioned.

“How–when–why–I’m–” Words were few and she looked like she didn’t know what to say. Could her reaction mean it was true?

“Is it true?” I whispered my words, finally asking the question I’ve been dying to have answered.

She started pacing in front me. Her expression was unreadable the moments when she faced me. What was she thinking? What was so hard to say?

If she was reacting this way… Camren is real. It was, is a real thing.

Wow.

Harmonizers were right. That’s why we were all touchy and giving each other looks through the videos.

From the few videos I had seen, I always gave her my undivided attention while she spoke and she to me. It was like she was my whole world in those moments and vice versa when it was her staring at me.

“So it’s real? Camren really does exist?”

She stopped pacing at my words.

“What? No." 

"But-”

“Is this really the reason why you called me over at–” She looked around for a clock. “3:12 in the morning?”

“No, not at all.” I waved off her suspicions. Though I’m sure she knew that was the truth. And I knew she knew that my words were a lie.

“What have you been up to since we left, if that’s not the reason why I’m here?”

“Uh, just watching some TV.”

I turned away after saying those words. I didn’t want to give away that I was lying. I had watched something but not any TV shows or movies.

I walked into my kitchen, leaving her in the living room. Having spent the last 7 hours watching videos and caught up in researching things of my past, I had forgotten to eat or even have some water.

“Lauren Michelle Jauregui. Don’t you walk away from me. You and I both know you’re lying.”

“Am I really? How can you prove that?”

For having been gone for a year, my fridge was stocked up on a bunch of things I liked. I grabbed a water from the fridge before closing it.

I leaned up against the sink counter which was next to the fridge, watching Camz as she spoke again.

“Because if I were to go to your laptop which is on coffee table in your living room, I bet I’ll find your browsing history interesting.”

Fuck. I knew there was something I had forgotten.

“Aha. I knew it.” She had a smug look on her face.

So she had caught me in a lie we both knew about. But she was here and now she could honestly tell me if it was real or not.

“So…is Camren real?” I asked quietly.

“No. When we first started out in the group, you and I were really close. Naturally our fans saw it as an opportunity to create a ship of us.”

I was disappointed at the words spoken. I don’t know what I was really looking for or wanting her answer to be but I guess I had wished for it to be real. It seemed so beautiful to me the way the fans saw us.

“So it’s never been real?”

“As a friendship yes, but you and I in a relationship, no. We never had a relationship.” She didn’t hesitate or flinch while telling me this. It must be true. Other than me, Camila would be the only one to know this right? Or would the girls know?

“Okay. I was just um… Well I was doing some research. I wanted to see if it would help me remember something but it didn’t.” Total lie. I did remember something but I had this feeling deep inside that I shouldn’t tell her that I had remembered when I gave her the nickname.

“Is that where you got the nickname Camz?”

“Yeah.” Sure let’s go with that. It was better than going against my gut feeling.

We were silent for a few moments, almost in a staring contest. I couldn’t turn away and it looked like neither could she.

Her eyes were the purest version of brown, so rich in color. They could draw you in easily and it was hard to break her stare once she locked eyes with you.

“Did you know I had or have a nickname for you?”

Camila was the first to break the silence between us.

I smiled in response, knowing already what it was. “No, what is your nickname for me?”

“Lolo or Lo. We came up with the nicknames during our time on The X Factor.”

I hummed, recalling my flashback I had earlier where she had told me I was a teddy bear.

“Am I the only one who calls you Camz?”

She blushed, “Yeah. I am the only one who calls you Lolo and you’re the only one who calls me Camz.”

“Camz, will you tell me more stories about our times together…please?”

I gave her my best pouty lips. It was late, way later now then when I had called her and we had to be up in a few hours to start on a new album.

I walked a few steps closer to her by the kitchen island.

“Maybe another time. It’s late and we have to be up in a few hours. Please I still have to get back home.”

“Stay. You can sleep in my bed with me tonight and while we’re laying there you can tell me at least one story. Please, Camzi?” I reached out for her hand and squeezed it. I really want to know more. I wanted to recall all those memories she had of me and the moments we had shared as friends.

“Um…”

“Pretty please?” I grabbed her other hand squeezed it as well. Standing face to face, I watched as she gulped visibly. “I’m sure this isn’t the first time we’ve slept in a bed together.”

“Um, yeah. Are you sure about this Laur? I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. As much as you look like the Lauren I knew, you don’t remember everything that has transpired between us. And I just don’t…I don’t want there to be regret…in the morning.”

“No regrets. Promise. If morning comes and I remember everything, it won’t matter because I already forgave you.”

“You say that now…” I don’t think I was supposed to hear that as she had mumbled it softly. “Okay, let’s go to bed.”

“Thank you!” Unexpectedly, I threw my arms around her pulling her in for a hug.

_________________________

“Your hugs are the best Camz. They always make me feel better when I’m feeling down.”

Her arms were wrapped around my waist and mine were wrapped around her neck. I was comfortable in her arms during these hugs. She had magical hugs that when I was having a hard time dealing with my emotions or thoughts, made me forget.

Everything in that moment was just​ about Camz and I.

________________________

“You know, if you hold onto me any longer, I’ll be assuming that you’re trying to feel me up.”

Sheepishly I let go of her and stepped back. 

My intentions were to only give her a hug. I never meant to remember something, no matter how small of a memory and hold on longer than necessary to her body.

“Sorry. I got caught up in the moment. Come one let’s go to bed.” I was going to walk off but I realized something. This was my apartment but I didn’t know where my room was or if I had sheets or whatever.

“What’s wrong?”

“Um well, I don’t know if my room is clean or I I have sheets. I just came to conclusion that I haven’t been here in over a year yet the place looks spotless.”

“Oh uh, I kept up with the place for you.”

I tilted my head to the side, surprised by her answer.

“Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me.” Her lips formed a lopsided grin, which I couldn’t help but find adorable.

“Lead the way, Camz.” I stepped off to the side and extended​ out my right arm in a gesture to lead me away.

She walked forward and once she walked by me I started walking behind her. My eyes wandered up and down her backside, checking her out. Don’t ask me why my eyes started doing that, they just did and I couldn’t help but notice her luscious behind. It was so big and out there. Made you want to slap it a little.

And there were those thoughts again. Did I like girls? Or was it just with Camz?

I missed the cue to stop walking because all of a sudden I was smashed up against Camila.

“Lauren, are you okay? Did you not see me put the brake lights on?” She had a playful smile and she was laughing lightly.

“Brakes?” What did she mean? “You have brakes? Like a car?” I was confused.

“Oh God. It was my attempt at a corny joke. I guess you lost your sense of humor for my jokes.”

Oh. My bad. “Sorry, I didn’t get that. My mind was somewhere else.”

Yeah, thinking about that booty she had and all the things that could be done to it.

“Okay. Well your room is here. I don’t know if you fit in any of your clothes from a year ago, but they’re in your closet. Do you mind if I borrow some pjs?” She was rambling and it was cute.

My eyes were staring intently at her lips. They were full and plump.

Oh these had to stop. Camz was my friend. And I wasn’t sure about my sexuality. Well, you know, from what I knew.

“Right, yeah. I don’t care. Wear what you want.” I was sure that I wouldn’t even have an idea what was in my closet. 

“Okay.”

I walked in, slowly guiding my eyes over everything in the room. The decor was something I liked. The bed had a blue comforter and the pillows were yellow. I had a mirror hanging from the wall. The walls had pictures of people. Getting closer, I saw pictures of the girls, with my parents, my siblings and other childhood friends.

Through all of that, I didn’t see many pictures of Camz and I and if we were in a picture together, it was with the other girls. If we were friends why didn’t I have pictures of only us?

I saw Lucy and I saw Alexa. I had pictures with just them. But…

“How come I don’t have pictures with just you and I on my wall?”

I turned around looking for Camz. She was turned away from me, her backside exposed. She was in a pair of black lace panties. I could see her tanned back.

I gulped. Did not expect her to be changing in front of me or with me in the room.

I continued to stare taking in how well sculpted her body was and the way her underwear hugged her hips and ass.

Subconsciously I must have started walking forward because before I knew it, if I stretched out my arm, I would be able to touch her skin.

I bet it was soft.

Shit. 

Fuck.

I turned away. “Uh Camz? Did you hear me?”

“What?”

When I turned around this time, she was dressed in a sweater and some boy shorts.

“Nothing.” I randomly grabbed some clothes out my closet. “I’m gonna change in the bathroom.”

“I don’t think jeans are going to be comfortable to sleep in.”

I looked down on the choices I had selected.

“Whoops.” I grabbed a pair of shorts and threw the jeans back into the closet.

I quickly looked for the nearest bathroom and changed. Once I went back into the room, Camila was laying down on the bed, looking at her phone.

She looked up briefly when she saw me. “You ready for bed?”

“Yeah, uh just the shorts are a little tight around the hips. I don’t know if it’ll be a problem if my lower half is just covered in underwear?” They were a bit too tight. I guess I must have grown in the last year. Due to me gaining weight or actually getting fuller in my hip area, I couldn’t say. I don’t know if I left my bed in the hospital for a year.

She had gone back to looking at her once I started speaking, but I noticed her reaction to the words that came out of my mouth. She was surprised, but something else lurked in those eyes. What it was? I had no idea.

“Sure, you do what you need to do.” Her voice was low and it cracked towards the last word she said. Huh…

I walked over to the bed, turning off all the lights as I went. Sitting down on the bed spread, i gently pushed the shorts off and hid under the covers. 

For a few moments, Camz and I laid there silently. There was a gap between us, plenty of space for both of us, but it didn’t feel right. It felt like we needed to be closer. So I adjusted myself inching a little closer to her.

I took the moment to look over to her. She had her phone still in front of her. What was she doing on there that was so important? Basked in the light of her phone, I could see her unbreakable concentration on whatever was in front of her. She had her tongue between her lips and her face was scrunched up a little.

“Camz?”

“Yes Lolo?” Hearing her call me by her special nickname, I felt a small shiver run through my body. That was a new development.

“What if I never remember? What if I can never remember all these amazing memories from the past 4 years? What happens then?”

I was scared. I bet all the memories were lovely whether I was happy or sad or angry. Those moments were a part of me I could never get back if my brain couldn’t get over the trauma. Sure I had two memories as of right, but I had no guarantee I would regain more or none at all. It was scary to think of the what ifs.

“Lauren, whatever happens, I’ll be here and I’ll make sure to tell you about all our memories and moments you experienced with us. I’ll tell it to you in a way where you’ll feel like you remembered it all. I promise I’ll always be here for you, through the good and the bad.”

Her phone was gone and I couldn’t see her face, but it sounded as if she was going to cry.

“Thank you.” My hand found hers in the darkness and I felt just a little better knowing I would have her by my side.

“We should try to get some sleep. We have to be up in…” The light from her phone appeared. “3 hours. Janelle will kill us if we’re late.”

“Okay. One last thing…” I hesitated to ask her if she would hold me. I had a feeling it would make me feel better and I would be able to fall asleep faster.

“What is it?”

I whispered. “Hold me.”

The sheets moved and I felt her come up behind me. I heard a small gasp from her.

“Maybe…um maybe I shouldn’t as you’re in your…underwear.”

“Please Camz?” I begged.

“Okay.” Her body molded into mine and I relaxed into her arms. She draped one over my stomach and I could feel her fingers lightly move up and down in a soothing gesture.

It was such a nice feeling. I…that sense of familiarity settled over me once again. Had we been in this position before? 

My body started drifting off to sleep not allowing me to continue questioning the moment. But just before I lost consciousness, I heard her say, “I wish I could say this wasn’t my fault…” Not being able to fight sleep any longer, I made a mental note to ask her about it in the morning.

[haleyfury]

November has been what feels like both the longest and shortest month of my year. This month was even more filled with school assignments- four research papers due the first week in December- and related things. I fortunately had some really fun experiences with my friends and family this month. I plan on doing a If We Were Having Coffee: The Fall Semester edition in December, filling you on some in real-life happenings of mine over these past few months- and some very exciting things planned for the new year!

Returning to bookish and fangirl things, I’ve so far read 5 books this month while still completing Schitt’s Creek. Given how crazy school life was in November, I’m both content with the amount of books that I read and wish that I had read more. With my winter break approaching, I’m really excited to have more time to unwind and dedicate to reading and blogging next month.

All-American Muslim Girlby Nadine Jolie Courtney | 4.5-/5 Stars

All-American Muslim Girlwas my surprise favorite and a new contemporary favorite for me this month. It took me some time to settle in, but I absolutely adored the character development and emphasis on family and faith.

 When the Stars Lead to You by Ronni Davis | 3/5

When the Stars Lead to Youwas unfortunately my most disappointing read of the month. While I appreciated that it handled some heavy issues, I wasn’t a fan of its execution.

The Toll (Arc of a Scythe #3)by Neal Shusterman | 5/5

I am here to admit that I definitely neglected those four school research projects for a few hours at a time this month to dive into the 625 page beast that was Neal Shusterman’s The Toll. And it was worth it!

Renegades by Marissa Meyer | 5/5 

I officially cannot believe that it took me over two years to pick up Marissa Meyer’s Renegades because I loved it so much!

The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren | 4/5 

I finally read The Unhoneymooners! This was such a fun and flirty read and would make for the perfect one-sitting read over your holiday break.

Schist’s Creek S2-S5 (PopTV/Netflix) – Schitt’s Creek was  the best kind of stress relief this month. I’ve completely fallen in love with this show, and while I’m sad that I’m all caught up, I cannot wait to dive into its final season come January.

Let It Snow (Netflix)- The third weekend in November officially marked the start of my Christmas-celebrating this year, starting with the Netflix of adaptation of Let It Snow, Although there was a number of changes from the book (it’s been a while since I’ve read it, but I had it next to me while watching), I thought this was a really cute Christmas movie and brought the book’s spirit to life. I’m so excited that Netflix is acquiring more and more YA titles!

Holiday in the Wild (Netflix)- After an especially long week, I collapsed into bed one Thursday night and unwinded in the best way possible: with a Christmas movie! My inner Leslie Knope had to watch this Christmas movie starring Rob Lowe aka Chris Trager and Kristin Davis. Holiday in the Wild is definitely the cheesiest Christmas movie I’ve watched this far, but I still really enjoyed its humor and atmosphere.

Last Christmas– It’s been such a long time that I’ve seen a Christmas film in the movie theater, so add in Emilia Clarke and Henry Golding and I was sold on Last Christmas. Last Christmaswas definitely one step up form a Hallmark Christmas movie, but I enjoyed its lightheartedness and cast.

Encore! (Disney+)- While, yes, I had time to watch four seasons of a TV show this month and read a 625 page book, I haven’t dived into Disney+ too much yet. However, one show that I’ve been hooked on each week is Encore!. With a touch of reality TV show, I do appreciate its somewhat seriousness, as high school alumni reunite to recreate the musicals they put on as students.

Noelle (Disney+)- I’ve unfortunately been spending some of my Thanksgiving break working on final papers, but I distressed after a long Monday of paper writing by watching Noelle. While it was a tiny bit more fluffy than I was expecting, I still loved the cast and there were plenty of laugh-out-loud moments.

Reviews

WINTER MOOD READ: Winterwood Review

When the Stars Lead to You Review & Favorite Quotes

ALL-FAVORITE READ: All-American Muslim Girl Review

HOLIDAY MOOD: 10 Blind Dates Review & Most Anticipated Christmas Movies 2019

Bookish & Fangirl Fun 

Five Star Predictions Results: 2019 Release Edition

Top Five Wednesday: End of 2019 TBR

My Favorite Fairy Tale Retellings: Inspired by Sea Witch Rising

Top Five Wednesday: Favorite 2019 Book Covers

Highest Rated Goodreads Books I’ve Read

MORE 2019 TBR PLANS: End of Year Book Tag 2019

My Disney+ Watchlist

Since I’ll be talking about some IRL stuff in my If We Were Having Coffee post next month, I’m just going to be focusing on some bookish and fangirl happenings that caught my attention.

Taylor Swift at the AMAs- If there was one reason that I had to watch the American Music Awards this year, it was Taylor Swift’s Artist of the Decade performance. I absolutely loved how she started the performance with “The Man” and I loved all the songs that she chose. I am also obsessed with the “Lover” First Dance remix. I’m really hoping that she will announce more Lover Fest tour dates soon.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Updates- Brooklyn Nine-Nine will be returning to NBC for its seventh season with an hour-long episode on February 7th. Even though S6 wasn’t my absolute favorite season, I’m still so excited to be diving back into this show that gives me some Parks and Rec feels. It was also announced that B99 was renewed for an eighth season– which I think calls for another Lin-Manuel Miranda guest appearance!

                The Elementae series on hold– A.C. Gaughen replied to a reader on Twitter that there are currently no plans for books 3 and 4 to be published in her Elementae series. I’m so especially bummed over this news because I love Reign the Earth and Imprison the Sky so much.

Unfortunately, currently there are no plans to publish books three and four in the series. 😞 Im so sorry for readers left in the lurch, but the series hasn’t gotten the traction it needed to survive. 😩😩😩 https://t.co/earzn0fqwr

— AC Gaughen (@acgaughen) November 18, 2019

  What did you read and watch in November? What books do you want to get to in December? Share in the comments!

READING & CHRISTMAS MOVIE-WATCHING: November 2019 Wrap Up November has been what feels like both the longest and shortest month of my year. This month was even more filled with school assignments- four research papers due the first week in December- and related things.

[davidrsmithlove]

Six Links Worthy Of Your Attention #379

Is there one link, story, picture or thought that you saw online this week that you think somebody you know must see?

My friends: Alistair Croll (Solve for Interesting, Tilt the Windmill, HBS; chair of Strata, Startupfest, Pandemonio, and ResolveTO; Author of Lean Analytics and some other books), Hugh McGuire (PressBooks, LibriVox, iambik and co-author of Book: A Futurist's Manifesto) and I decided that every week the three of us are going to share one link for one another (for a total of six links) that each individual feels the other person "must see".

Check out these six links that we're recommending to one another: 

Honest Theatre Awards - Allison Page - Medium. "I love me a good list. And I'm pretty sure this would be a much better awards ceremony than most of what's on TV today." (Alistair for Hugh).

The Repressive, Authoritarian Soul of Thomas The Tank Engine And Friends - The New Yorker. "Take a trip down a rabbit-hole where this beloved children's classic is a totalitarian regime. It's actually pretty convincing. 'Sir Topham Hatt ... looks like Monopoly's Rich Uncle Pennybags but with eyes that have almost surely witnessed murder.' Ouch." (Alistair for Mitch).

The Isolated Vocal Track Of The Beach Boys Singing 'Wouldn't It Be Nice' Is A Master Class In Harmony - Trendingly. "The title says it all." (Hugh for Alistair).

What is Anchoring in Negotiation? - Harvard Law School. "This is more for me than for Mitch (I've got some negotiating to do over the next year), but I hear there's a certain unmentionable-in-our-shared-links famous political figure in the USA who's a big user of this technique, so it's fascinating how it all works." (Hugh for Mitch).

Break-Up - Act One: Dr. Phil - This American Life. "Earlier this week on Facebook, I asked people for an admission. My post was: 'What's the cheesiest song that you simply love and can never get enough of? Mine's: Arthur's Theme (Best That You Can Do) by Christopher Cross. Your turn...' I got a lot of great answers. It's funny how music affects us in so many different ways. Someone posted that Phil Collins' Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now) was their top indulgence. It reminded me of this incredible segment on This American Life about breaking up, songs about breaking up and more. In short, the journalist decides to write their own ballad to get over a break-up, and reaches out to Phil Collins for advice. Candidly, I think Hugh may have put this on my radar back in the day. It made me take a re-listen and want to share it here. Take a listen (start at Act One - Dr. Phil). This is brilliant!..." (Mitch for Alistair).

A French chef's plea to relinquish his Michelin stars is proof success can be truly soul-crushing - Quartz. "There is a lot to unpack in this article. From how we define success to how to move on to other levels of success to excess and attention. There's also a powerful statement about perceptions. It's not often that we have a leading chef with 'success' who is so candid and emotional in a profile. That's my favourite part, candidly. Words like 'serenity' are not the kind of words we typically see in profiles like this. It's refreshing. And, hopefully, will open up a much broader dialogue around how we all feel - as people - about what happens when success does its thing. Just love this." (Mitch for Hugh).   

Feel free to share these links and add your picks on Twitter, Facebook, in the comments below or wherever you play.

Tags: advertising agency against all odds alistair croll allison page arthurs theme bit current bit north book a futurists manifesto brand business blog christopher cross complete web monitoring digital marketing digital marketing agency digital marketing blog disruption facebook gigom harvard business school harvard law school hugh mcguire human 20 iambic j walter thompson journalism journalist jwt lean analytics librivox link bait link exchange link sharing managing bandwidth marketing marketing agency marketing blog medium michelin star mirum mirum agency mirum agency blog mirum blog mirum canada mirum in canada mitch joel mitchjoel monopoly negotiation pandemonio phil collins press books quartz resolveto sir topham hats six pixels of separation social media solve for interesting startupfest strata success the beach boys the new yorker this american life thomas the tank engine tilt the windmill trendingly wouldnt it be nice year one labs    innovation  wpp