#cheating. his first appearance is just his feet so 978 it is | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

taerseok · 4 years ago

Text

i wait. | m.y.g.

↬ pairing:. boyfriend!Yoongi × reader

↬ synopsis:. you've changed. And Yoongi's attempts at confronting you are failing.

↬ word count:. 978

↬ genre(s):. angst, angst, and more angst

↬ rating:. pg-15

↬ warning(s):. toxic relationship, (hinted)cheating, mentions of low self-esteem and depression

↬ song rec(s):. I wait - Day6

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

▪ Wowwww, okay, my first drabble I hope you enjoy, also, thank you soo much to my wonderful beta-reader Barby @barbyisafangirl for helping me fix this thing because some screws were certainly loose-

▪ Also thank you to Eris @bangtan-dreamland and Lillia @moccahobi for giving me feedback on this, i love youu!

How many days has it been since he last saw you? Three? You've been gone, again. Yoongi had been trying to talk to you but you just seem to not be here anymore.

He was sick of it, tired of your relationship. It was like he was moving in endless circles, the cycles were never-ending, and left his heart only hurting more each and every try. As much as he loved you, as much as he was willing to keep waiting for your return, you'd always go running back to him.

Hearing the front door open, he climbed off the couch and ran to you. You looked better already, perhaps Jimin had given you more advice on how to deal with relationships. Your disheveled appearance, swollen lips… it all ignited a new wave of nerves for him. Shaking his head a little, he took a deep breath. He had to confront you now, try once more.

Maybe you were going to leave the house again. Maybe this time, you wouldn't come back for days.

Maybe even then, he'd still wait for your return.

“Y/N. We have to talk.” His voice was serious, but with the way you looked so bemused, he doubted you were taking it seriously. And that was one thing he hated about you; you didn't take this relationship seriously.

“Whenever I try to confront you, you go back to Jimin,” your ex. Your childhood best friend, who you were still close to. Countless nights were spent with no comfort, in loneliness, in cold sheets. He didn't deserve it. You didn't deserve him. “I know you think I'm a rebound,” your raised brow pierced through him. Silence. So you didn't even consider to give him an explanation, did you?

A part of him wanted you to deny it. But you didn't.

He waited for days, for weeks, sometimes he even considered leaving you, but how could he? He loved you. It made him loathe himself. You hurt him. Made him feel like he wasn't enough for you. Why did he have to be dragged into this hell with you? He didn't deserve it all, but still, here you were, treating him as if he was garbage at your feet.

For a second, that's what he thought he was. A toy to be used. But he could do so much better than you.

“Okay, so?” your slurring voice breaks the silence. “So I… I want to know why you're doing this to me. I can't handle it anymore.”

“If you can't handle it, then break up with me.” Your words were daggers to his heart. “You know I can't!” his voice rings out through the empty house.

You weren't all bad, and neither was the relationship. You had a lot of sweet moments together. Except till it came to Jimin, always hanging out with you and making Yoongi feel like he wasn't enough. That's where the problems struck. It tore him apart that you weren't taking a stand against it, not telling him that you loved him, not making him feel like he was good enough to be worthy of you.

Instead, you had been ice cold. His heart was the only one blazing in flames, turning into nothing more than ashes and pain, caused by the toxicity of your love. It was eating him from the inside out. Slowly killing him, each time you left through the door.

“Why can't you?” he heard you ask.

The question was ridiculous, the answer easy enough to figure out. It only further proved your ignorance. But if it meant being stuck with you in these crippling walls that were your relationship, then he was all for it. Yet he keeps quiet. Would you think it was too illogical of a reason? When has love ever been logical in the first place? Why must he be the only one hurting?

“Because I love you,” he said meekly. You still took him for granted. He was left unloved for so long, he couldn't think of anything but you. The heart desires what it can never get, and his yearns for you, your touch, your voice, your love, your everything.

Then when his heart finally does get it, it's already cold and crude, and he keeps wondering to himself, why he even desired it in the first place. This cycle had been going on for three months now. Maybe you were done with him, but he wasn't done with you.

This was the furthest he had gotten. He was surprised you weren't leaving him again tonight. While the urge to touch you, to embrace you lingered, it felt impossible, too strange for another thought, too far away. You felt too far away.

He was tied to you and he couldn't even deny it. In an invisible wall, you had him suffocating with your cold laws.

“I'm going back to Jimin's,” his shoulders dropped. You didn't even answer with an ‘I love you’. Just tell him you weren't interested, let him go. Why were you torturing him?

Every time you left, you gave him hope instead. That maybe there was something he could do to save you, to save your relationship. But even he knew, deep down, in the trenches of his heart, that there was no way out except one.

“W-When will you come back?” he stammered on his words slightly, lost and desperate.

“I dunno,” the door closed again, and you were out of sight.

He felt like breaking down on the site again. Tears brimmed in his eyes, breath hitching, heart-burning. Last night, you had left him just like this. How much longer would confronting you take? Sometimes he wondered if he could ever break out of your cage, ever be free.

Maybe the answer was never. But at least for tonight, it remains the same as yesterday.

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