#charlotte is so rude geez

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 2

Episode 5: Captain Man Goes On Vacation

~Junk-N-Stuff~

Ah, geez. It was a stressful time right now for the Man Cave's resident lovebirds for several reasons. 

Firstly, Ray was supposed to be going on a trip for his cousin's wedding and that meant he'd be away for a few days, which, in turn, meant that Henry and Charlotte had to be on hand to help (y/n) through a few days of pining and misery. She knew it was a family event that he couldn't miss and she wouldn't dream of keeping him away from what little family he had left, but that didn't mean she wouldn't miss him. Even the thought of him leaving was enough for her heart to ache and her energy to be sapped. 

Ray felt a similar way about the situation. He knew he had to go to his cousin's wedding. He couldn't fail to show up after he RSVP'd, it would be unbelievably rude and he wanted to stay in his family's good books. But it didn't feel right to go to the event alone, he felt in his heart that he was leaving behind the one person who truly felt like family to him. 

In his mind, he should walk into that reception room with (y/n) on his arm, so he could send his gossiping aunts into whispers. He could perhaps introduce her to his father, even though they hadn't spoken in years. With all his heartache in mind, he was doing everything in his power to stall himself. If he missed the plane, he wouldn't have to leave her, right?

Well, technically no, but his slowness irritated his teen assistants and stressed out his helper. How could he be so nonchalant about his lateness? (y/n) was nervously pacing up and down the Man Cave's floor, thinking about the disaster that would unfold if he couldn't attend the wedding. Her jumpy personality meant that she took pride in being organised and was nearly always on time for things, a trait that she tried to rub off on her friends. 

"Where is he?" (y/n) asked the kids, looking up to the sprocket where Ray was meant to be. He should've left like ten minutes ago.

"Ray, come on, you're gonna miss your plane!" Henry yelled to the man, who was currently struggling down the sprocket corridor with his king-sized mattress in his grasp.

"I'm coming!" He yelled back, shuffling through the sprocket and tripping over the mattress as he tried to move it.

"What is he...?" Charlotte looked at her friends in confusion as (y/n) and Henry groaned. They didn't have time for this.

"Ray, what are you doing with that mattress?" Henry asked his boss, who had lifted the thing over his head so he could walk down the steps. (y/n) was nervously biting her lip and checking the time on her phone; at this rate, she'd have to kick him out of the door.

"Taking it on my trip." Ray answered struggling to stop himself from falling over.

"Oh, sweet cheese, you can't take a mattress on a plane, doofus." (y/n) facepalmed, not believing how stupid he was being. It was like he didn't want to leave.

"Yeah, you're right." He sighed, knowing his girl knew best. He slammed the mattress down on the floor in frustration, making the woman walk over to him.

"What's wrong?" She asked, straightening out his jacket and hair. Her soft touch only made his heart hurt more, he couldn't bear the thought of three days without her.

"Maybe I shouldn't go." He said quickly, dashing over to the supercomputer so she wouldn't see his yearning eyes.

"See, I knew it!" Henry exclaimed, having had a sneaking suspicion all along that his boss was terrified of leaving (y/n) alone for a few days. He couldn't be there to protect her, to provide for her. What if some criminal came along and kidnapped her? Or worse, what if some cute guy came along and stole her heart? The notion of him coming back and finding her in love with another made him feel sick. It would be best if he stayed.

"Ray, you can't blow off your cousin's wedding." Charlotte scolded him as (y/n) put her hands on his shoulders, hoping he'd turn around and face her.

"He'll be so disappointed if you're not there." She told him, making him stroppily turn around in the chair.

"I know, but most marriages don't work out. I'll just go to his next wedding." He told them, leaping up from his seat and trying to run away. (y/n) was too quick for him though, and used whatever upper body strength she had to hold him back. 

"Just admit that you're afraid to leave town 'cause you think me, Charlotte, Schwoz and (y/n) can't handle things without you," Henry called him out, making sure he didn't add in the bit about his boss not wanting to leave (y/n). That would open another can of worms.

"Well, what if there's an emergency?" Ray asked the three. He was nervous to leave Swellview, thinking that even though Henry was a skilled fighter and he had three amazing people working in the Man Cave, they wouldn't be able to keep the city safe.

"Henry will blow a bubble and Kid Danger will deal with it." (y/n) pointed to the boy over his head and he and Charlotte nodded in agreement.

"What if he suddenly gets that disease, huh? Nu-nu-numb tongue and you can't blow a bubble?" He looked at his friends who squinted at him with puzzled faces.

"Numb Tongue?" Henry reiterated.

"That's not a thing." Charlotte rolled her eyes as the elevator door opened and Schwoz started to walk over to them.

"You're chatting shit. People don't talk normally one second and then all of a sudden, blerughhh, bleur, bluh, blergh!" (y/n) acted like she couldn't speak properly, not seeing that Schwoz was behind her.

"Uh, oh, does she have Numb Tongue?" The genius asked, making the woman turn around so she could glare at him.

"See?" Ray exclaimed, his presence making Schwoz check his watch.

"Hey, shouldn't you be on your way to the airpoot?" He questioned in his funny accent.

"Yessss!" Henry elongated the word as he and (y/n) grabbed Ray's arms and began to lead him over to the elevator.

"Whoa, whoa, wait, I need my suitcase." He wiggled out of their grasp.

"Bork! Hey, Bork, bring it over here." Ray instructed the large, muscleman, who was carrying an enormous trunk. He dropped it in front of the group, the impact of the extremely heavy box making a loud noise and causing the ground to shake.

"Thanks, buddy." Ray gave Bork a piece of meat as a reward, the guy taking a bite out of the steak as he walked away.

"What the hell have you got in here?" (y/n) asked her best friend in disbelief as she tried to move the trunk with her leg, but it wouldn't budge.

"Just stuff I might need, like, cotton swabs, shampoo...and non-cotton swabs. You know what, let's talk about all the different kinds of swabs." Ray smiled at the teens.

"Stalling!" Henry exclaimed, him, Charlotte and Schwoz gesturing to (y/n) who was too busy looking at the box to notice. 

"It's just--" Ray tried to give them an excuse as his cheeks blushed, knowing he'd been rumbled.

"It's only three days." Charlotte butted in, not needing to hear some lame excuse.

"We can handle it," Henry added as (y/n) looked at her friend.

"Me and Schwoz have all the experience and Henry knows how to fight. And if there's some cataclysmic disaster, I can whip out my emergency super suit and give him a hand." She told him softly, ignoring how teary she felt at the prospect of saying goodbye. She didn't want him to go and find the girl of his dreams in some other city, she'd have no hope of convincing him that she'd been there for him all this time.

"Okay...after one last hula dance with Leilani." He smiled, thinking of anything that could make him stay a little longer. He didn't see the way (y/n) faltered at his words, the Hawaiian girl being exactly the type of girl she was afraid of. Beautiful, elegant, perfectly capable of capturing his heart and making him forget all about her. 

"No!" Henry and Charlotte protested together, already afraid of what (y/n) would turn into after he left. They didn't need him stoking the fire with references to pretty hula girls and whatever else he did to distract himself from his love for her. Ray growled in frustration and flopped face-first onto the mattress he had left on the floor before swiftly getting back on his feet.

"Okay, fine! But you better not let any bad guys get away with crimes while I'm gone!" He told Henry in a childishly stern voice, the ache in his chest making him crabby.

"Stop being a child and grab your huge box-trunk thing!" (y/n) instructed him firmly, jabbing her nail into his chest like a mother scolding her petulant son. Not wanting to leave on a sore note with her, Ray grabbed the trunk's red strap and tried to lift it, but he had filled it with so much junk that he couldn't lift it, even with all of his super-density strength.

"Well, too heavy, better stay here!" He gave up easily, walking rapidly towards the sprocket so he could hide in his bedroom. 

"No, wait. I'll get the anti-grav!" Schwoz thought on his feet, rushing off to grab his invention so Ray could leave on time.

"Anti-grav?" Charlotte queried, she hadn't heard of that gadget before.

"Yeah, it's a device you attach to really heavy things to make them a lot lighter." (y/n) explained, grabbing the large man's hand so she could steady her nerves and stop him from running away. Schwoz dashed back over with a long stick-like device that he attached to the trunk. He pressed a few buttons and activated its gravity-defying effect.

"There!" He backed off with a flourish, letting Henry step forward to test it out.

"Whoa, man! It works!" He smiled at the adults, marvelling at how the box simply floated up in his hand. 

"Hey, what do these do?" He looked at some glowing buttons on the side of the devices and pressed them before anyone could stop him.

"No, no, no, no, no, no!" Ray, (y/n) and Schwoz cried, but it was too late, he had already started to fly up to the ceiling. It seemed like Ray would never get on that damn plane.

~The next day~

It had been a difficult goodbye for (y/n) and Ray. After getting Henry down from the ceiling, they had given each other a tight hug, not wanting to let go. He had buried his nose in her hair and took in her perfume for the last time for three days. God, he hadn't realised how small she was until he had had her in his arms. He felt like a giant next to her and he couldn't help but want to pin her down and ravish her in a sinfully delicious way. If only he had time to stay and the courage to do so.

Still, she had soldiered on and had been monitoring the supercomputer when an emergency had come in. Putting down her mug of tea, she flicked on the hologram machine so she could call Henry. Whilst waiting for him to pick up, she sent a quick text to Charlotte so she'd get to work ASAP; what was going down was serious and she'd need an extra pair of hands around.

"Hey, (y/n/n), what's up?" Henry's little hologram appeared on the computer as he opened his whiz watch.

"There's a robbery going down at that eyeglass store in Midtown, uh, what's it called...Specs in The City." She told him as she checked what little information she had on the monitor.

"Okay, I know where that is, I'm on my way," Henry replied, popping a gumball into his mouth in preparation.

"You better hurry up. We need to prove to Ray that we're not completely useless when he's not here." The woman urged him as Schwo and Charlotte walked up behind her.

"Hey, Henry, look, it's me Schwoz!" The genius jumped in front of her so he could say hi to the sidekick.

"I got no time for you, Schwoz!" Henry snapped and closed his watch, effectively ending the call. Well, it was up to him now.

~Specs in The City Shop~

Two thugs were threatening the owner of the store, who was fearing for his life.

"Come on, man, hurry it up!" A robber with a leaf blower said, pointing his odd choice of weapon at the owner.

"Look, why do you just s-steal my m-money and get your glasses made wherever you want?" The terrified storekeeper asked, willing to let his money go so he could keep his life.

"No! This place has the best reviews on Yarp! So you're making my glasses!!" The other criminal shouted, pointing a hammer at the owner. The threat was definitely real now. However, the criminals' attention was stolen when Kid Danger cleared his throat and made his presence known.

"I don't think so, jerk," Henry told them, pointing to his eye as he made a pun.

"Kid Danger! Thank god you and Captain Man are here!" The storekeeper praised god that his salvation had come, now these criminals would get a taste of justice.

"Uh, actually Captain Man's at his cousin's wedding in Cleveland," Henry told them, which piqued the criminals' interest.

"Captain Man ain't here?" One of them smirked, thinking that if they didn't have to face Swellview's superhero, then taking on his sidekick would be easy.

"No," Henry said nervously as the criminals returned to threatening the man behind the counter.

"All right, you just keep making my glasses, and those lenses better be progressive!" The hammer-wielding thug yelled, sending his victim into an obedient panic.

"Hey, man, you love your mother?" Henry asked the criminal, confusing him.

"Yeah." He answered honestly.

"Then freeze, mother lover!!" Henry quipped, pulling out his laser control, but the criminal wasn't very scared.

"NO!" He hissed and moved to whack Henry with his hammer, but the kid just shot him with a laser, sending him unconscious. 

"You should've freezed..." Henry smirked at his sleeping body, quickly switching his attention to the other goon when he fired up his leaf blower.

"Hey!" Henry tried to shoot the second criminal too, but he used the leaf blower to blow his weapon out of his hand, the strong wind making Henry stumble back.

"Oh, what?" Henry groaned as he tried to keep the glasses on the displays, not wanting to clean everything up after he was done here. He struggled against the wind and put his hand over the blower's nozzle, forcing it into the man's face as the two began to battle. Using his strength, Henry punched the man on the nose and took the leaf blower off of him and used it to blow him into a wall. Some shelves collapsed on his head, rendering the man unconscious like his partner. 

"Well, sir, looks like I just saved your life," Henry told the delighted owner as he threw away the leaf blower and leaned on the counter. However, it seemed like someone didn't have any faith in him.

Captain Man dropped down from the ceiling, ready to fight since he thought that his sidekick couldn't deal with a simple robbery on his own.

"I'm here," Ray announced, much to the owner's happiness and Henry's shock. The nerve of this guy.

"Captain Man!" The owner cried as Henry looked at his boss in horror.

"Captain Man?" The kid asked in a hurt voice. He had lied about leaving?

"Just a moment..." Ray growled and lifted up the man who had the hammer. He punched him in the face, despite the guy not being a threat anymore, but he wanted to act like he had been instrumental in ending the fight.

"There, you're safe now," Ray told the owner, who excitedly came out from behind the cash register as Henry spluttered in confusion.

"Thank you, Captain Man. Oh, I gotta go tell my wife what you did." The man said, running off to report Captain Man's actions, even though he hadn't done anything useful.

"What are you doing here?" Henry asked Ray.

"Fighting crime!" He replied, kicking out his leg as he smirked.

"No! You're just here because you don't trust me and Charlotte and (y/n) and Schwoz to handle things while you're away." He called him out, feeling extremely irritated.

"You don't have my experience." Ray hissed, keeping his voice down since the storekeeper and his wife were close by.

"I don't have your enormous ego." Henry snapped back.

"That too!" 

"I've been doing this job for over a year and I can handle things for three stupid days without you. (y/n) can help me—you're just scared some other guy will date her while you're not here." The boy pointed out, his anger meaning he couldn't keep a lid on his feelings.

"Oh, really? Like you handled this crime? And I'm not scared of (y/n) dating. She can...date whoever she wants." Ray swallowed as he said the words, the idea of his girl with someone else making him feel tremendously sick. Not that he'd let Henry see that.

"Yes, I completely handled this crime. And you're totally afraid of someone else taking her." They argued back and forth.

"Yeah, I guess, I mean, you handled this, like I can handle (y/n) with a boyfriend who's not me," Ray said moodily, making Henry roll his eyes.

"Dude, you can't be jealous if you won't even try to ask her out." His sidekick berated him, not wanting to let him escape from the fact that he wanted the young woman, but did nothing to make her his girlfriend.

"Okay, fine, I'll go." Ray whinged, walking out of the door until the voice of the storekeeper stopped him.

"Captain Man...this is my wife, Nancy." The man introduced a smiling woman, who was beyond excited to meet the hero.

"Oh, hiiiiiiii." Ray smiled back, hoping this would give him an excuse to stick around.

"Out! Before I call her and let her know you're still in town!" Henry threatened his boss, making him briskly walk out of the store before he could let (y/n) know he had lied to her and had not caught his flight. Seeing her hurt and upset because of him would break his heart.

~Later that evening~

Needing to get (y/n) out of the Man Cave, Henry and Charlotte had taken her to a milkshake bar for a much-deserved break. She felt 'floopy' without her soulmate and kept pouting and plodding around the room. Seeing that she desperately needed a pick-me-up, they bustled her out of Junk-N-Stuff, trying their best to make her laugh and take her mind off her absent hero. It worked; (y/n) had perked up after they told her their best jokes, and being with her friends made her feel a lot better.

The three of them stepped out of the elevator as they entered the Man Cave again, feeling refreshed for work again. Only, Schwoz had taken advantage of their absence and had turned the hideout into a discotech. 

"AHHHHH!" Their laughter was stopped by the loud music and odd characters that were dancing all over the furniture. What had Schwoz done? His cousin was dancing around, his pig was in a paddling pool, people were playing around in the tubes, the place was in pandemonium and (y/n) was pissed off.

"What is going on?!" Charlotte yelled over the music, as she took in the party scene.

"I don't know!" Henry shouted back as (y/n) seethed beside him.

"I know exactly what's going on. Come on!" She growled, walking over to the small man jumping on a mini-trampoline as he laughed with Bork.

"Schwoz, you little fucker!" She hissed, separating the two men and dragging Schwoz away from the trampoline.

"Welcome to the party. Charlotte, what's happening?" The man greeted them happily, thinking they were here to party with him.

"How could you have a party without Ray's permission, or me knowing?" (y/n) asked him angrily, furious that he had done this behind her back.

"Easy! He's not here and you were drinking milkshakes! Hahahaa!" Schwoz chuckled, irritating the woman more.

"You know, we promised Ray we'd be responsible!" Charlotte reminded him as (y/n) rubbed her face in frustration.

"What's gonna happen?" Schwoz scoffed, not worried about any consequences.

"Oh, I don't know, how about a criminal in Mongolia hearing this damn music!" The woman shouted as Bork grabbed Charlotte and lifted her over his shoulder, not liking how everyone was being a party pooper.

"Henry!" She yelled at her friend for help.

"Hey, Bork. Charlotte is not a toy, put her down!" The boy scolded the freakishly tall man, but he was distracted as Winnie, Schwoz's sister poked his shoulder. Bork then started to swing Charlotte back and forth with Larry, Schwoz's cousin, which terrified the young girl.

"Who did that?" Henry asked, spinning around to see the neighing woman.

"This is chaos! Come on, Schwoz, I have to live here!" (y/n) tried to calm everything down, but between Charlotte's squeals and Schowz's laughter, her efforts were useless. She or Henry couldn't even hear the emergency alarm go off. Ah, geez, Ray was going to kill them.

~The next day~

After a whole night of partying, Henry, Charlotte and (y/n) returned to the Man Cave to see what had become of Schwoz. The young woman had crashed in a downtown hotel for the night. There was no chance of her getting any sleep with the blaring music and numerous weirdos dancing around outside of her bedroom. They stepped out of the elevator and holy cow, they were greeted by a mess.

Schwoz was passed out on the floor, much like his guests, who had all partied the night away. There were decorations, streamers, food, trash and confetti littering the floor and the sight of the destroyed room made them all groan in disgust. It was normally so well-organised and tidy in there, thanks to (y/n)'s diligence, but after one night of Schwoz and his friends living it large, it looked like a bomb had hit it.

"Sweet cheese." (y/n) breathed out as she hesitantly stepped into the Man Cave, cringing as she heard bits of confetti and crumbs crunch under her sneakers.

"This place looks disgusting." Charlotte gagged, choosing her steps carefully so she wouldn't step in anything gross.

"Yeah. So does Schwoz." Henry grumbled as the three of them walked over to the genius, who was sleeping on his trampoline, a large rubber ducky tucked under his arm.

"Hey, Schwoz, sleepy times over. Come on, wake up." Henry tried to get him to wake up, even going as far as slapping him about the face with a slice of cold, slimy pizza, but it was useless. He just mumbled something in his native language and snuggled back into his ducky.

"Okay... WAKE UP, YOU ASSHOLE!" (y/n) screamed at the top of her voice, startling the man into consciousness, his pale face looking around in alarm. Even the kids winced at her sharp tone.

"How long did this party go on?" Charlotte asked him as he yawned.

"Uh, we broke up around 6 AM. Oh, look. My sister, Winnie, fell asleep. So peaceful, so beautiful." Schwoz mentioned wistfully, looking at his snoring, horse-like sister, who had fallen asleep standing up, just like an actual horse.

"Uh-huh."

"Yeah." The three replied in unsure voices, not certain that what they were looking at could be classed as peaceful or indeed beautiful.

"Right, Schwoz, I'm going to be very clear about this. You better clean all of this crap up before..." (y/n) tried to be stern, but her words trailed off as Henry nudged her arm and pointed to emergency alarm, which had been flashing all night. Oh, god.

"Oh, shit, shit, shit. The crime light." She cursed as she, Henry and Charlotte dashed over to the supercomputer, worry etched onto their faces. 

"How long has that been flashing?" Charlotte asked Schowz, as (y/n) scrolled through the databank.

"Since 9:37 last night!" She cried, thinking about what catastrophe could have unfolded when no superhero turned up.

"Dang-dangit, Schwoz!" Henry groaned, squishing a balloon into the control panel and making it burst. However, the loud noise made Winnie wake up in alarm and she started to whinny and buck around the room, like a startled horse.

"Ah, you spooked my sister!" Schwoz panicked, trying to calm down his sibling as she trotted across the room in fear. He finally managed to subdue her with a carrot and a pat to the head, confirming that she was probably more horse than person.

"What are you guys doing?" Henry asked the girls, who were working on the computer.

"Since no one answered the emergency call, we're checking to see if someone left a message," Charlotte told him as (y/n) checked their inbox. Pressing play, they listened to the latest voice message.

"You have one new emergency voicemail: Hello, Captain Man? This is Carlos from Sushi Dushi." The message began, the three listening carefully.

"It's Carlos from Sushi Dushi," Henry repeated, despite his observation being completely pointless.

"How'd you figure that one out, Holmes?" (y/n) sassed him sarcastically before resuming the voicemail.

"There's a guy robbing us right now. He's locking us in the fridge so he can steal a huge tuna fish." It continued.

"He's locking them all in the fridge." Henry pointed again, his deduction again being useless.

"Yes, thank you, Henry." (y/n) rolled her eyes with Charlotte.

"Where's the tuna fish?"

"Captain Man, Captain Man, save us!!" The message ended with the criminals intruding on the recording and Carlos begging for help.

"What are you thinking?" Charlotte asked her fellow teen and he stayed quiet and looked thoughtful.

"The robber's voice sounds so familiar." Henry pondered, his thinking making the girls wonder too. 

"I know." Charlotte agreed, suddenly feeling like she had heard that voice before.

"(y/n/n), can you cross-check it against the national voice database?" Henry asked the young, who smiled softly and nodded.

"Sure, easy-peasy, squeeze the lemon." She said, inputting a clip of the message into the databank and waiting a few seconds for the feedback. The computer came back with two matches.

"Ah!"

"Okay!" The kids smiled, glad that their plan had worked out.

"So, the robber's either Jeff or Miley." Henry studied the two pictures carefully, even though the answer was pretty obvious.

"I'm thinking it's Jeff." Charlotte theorised, knowing that it was ludicrous to suspect that Miley Cyrus would rob Sushi Dushi for a fish.

"Ugh, Jeff. He's such a moron." (y/n) groaned, smiling fondly when she remembered how she and Ray scattered him off to jail last Halloween. Ah, good times, apart from when he kept calling her "pretty lady", ew.

"Well, you better find him and arrest him or Ray's gonna fire us all," Charlotte stressed, not wanting to lose her job. She needed the money.

"He wouldn't fire his best friend, 'cause...y'know...he likes (y/n)," Henry argued with her, choosing his words very carefully as Charlotte raised her eyebrows and subtly nodded at (y/n). Luckily though, the true meaning of his words flew right over her head.

"Yeah, I'm not sure that even I'd get away with this." She joked, not realising how she could get away with murder when it came to Ray. One puppy-dog gaze from her and he was putty in her hands.

"Then I guess I'll chew some guy and fight some scum." Henry quipped before blowing his bubble and transforming into Henry Danger. The loud noise of him popping the bubble and snapping into his costume made Winnie kick off again, much to the annoyance of Schwoz.

"Ah, you did it again!" He yelled as his sister brayed and kicked.

"Just go, go go!" (y/n) told Henry, knowing he should go fight crime. They could deal with Schowz's weird sister, hopefully, they just needed some sugar cubes and carrots. Yeah, lots of carrots. 

~Jeff's Apartment~

Henry arrived at the building where Jeff still rented the same apartment that Captain Man and Miss Danger had fought him last time. He really needed to get brainier. Deciding to make a Captain Man-style entrance, Henry kicked a hole through the door, confusing the criminal inside. Not that it took a lot to confuse Jeff.

"Hey, hang on, someone's foot just came through my door." Henry heard Jeff tell one of his potential buyers on the phone. Squatting down, Kid Danger looked through the hole he had made and scanned the room, checking to make sure he had the right apartment. Seeing an irritated Jeff sat across the room, he poked his hand through the gap and unlocked the door from the inside. 

"Looks like you're gonna need a door-hole repairman, Jeff." Henry snarked, trying to be all tough after his clumsy entrance.

"Ah, crud. Hey, it's Kid Danger and Captain Man, can you, uh, come bail me outta jail later?" The dumb man said to whoever was on the phone.

"It's just me, Jeff. Captain Man's outta town." Henry smirked, feeling proud that he was being a cool superhero by himself.

"Okay, so after you come pick up this tuna, do you wanna see a movie or something? I heard that the sequel--" Jeff's complacency was cut off by Henry grabbing his phone, the boy having been offended by Jeff not seeing him as a threat.

"Dude!" Jeff grumbled.

"The only movie you're gonna see is the one in jail...on movie night...if they even have that. Now, stand up or get zapped!" Henry rambled, threateningly pointing his laser control at Jeff, who was very intimidated.

"I'm gonna slap that thing outta your hand." He told Kid Danger.

"I'd like to see you try slap--" Henry was cut off as Jeff did what he had said he would, showing a blatant disrespect towards the kid. He was shit scared of Captain Man, but Kid Danger? He could take him easily.

"Okay, that really hurt my hand," Henry whined, but the phone he had confiscated from Jeff started. to ring.

"Oh, it could be my tuna buyer, give me my phone." The criminal asked.

"Oh, you want the phone? This thing right here?" Henry teased him.

"Yeah. Are you playing Keep Away From Me?" Jeff frowned at the teen superhero.

"Yes, I'm playing Keep Away From You," Henry replied in a mocking tone.

"All right, that does it!" The stupid criminal growled and began to chase Henry around the tuna fish. Henry leapt through the kitchen hatch and Jeff tried to follow him, but he was too slow and fat to get through. He fell off the counter and onto the floor, huffing and groaning from the strain. He continued to chase Kid Danger around the room, his breathing laboured, unlike Henry's. The boy could do this for hours. After running around so much, Jeff bent over a chair as his gasps for air became very wheezy.

"Are you all right?" Henry asked the criminal. Yeah, he didn't like him, but that didn't mean he wanted Jeff to have an asthma attack. Jeff was too wheezy to respond.

"Hit the table twice if you're all right." The teen instructed him, but when Jeff raised his hand to smack the table, the rickety old thing collapsed under his weight. 

"Okay, was that one or two?" Henry asked, unsure if he was okay. At least it would make taking him to the jailhouse easy...

~Junk-N-Stuff~

"But I'm pretty sure Jeff meant to knock twice," Henry told his friends upstairs in the store. Charlotte was listening intently, but Ray was rather preoccupied with the girl on his knee. His arms were around her waist and his nose was tucked behind her ear. It had been an emotional reunion and they had spent the last half an hour in each other's arms. (y/n) snuggled back into his chest, happy to let his warmth settle in her bones and the scent of his cologne engulf her. God, she'd missed him.

"Anyway, thirty minutes later, he was in jail and the huge tuna fish was back at Sushi Dushi," Henry told his boss, who smiled at the kid proudly, as did (y/n). Sure, there had been some mishaps, but what Ray didn't know wouldn't hurt him. 

"You know, I'm proud of you guys." Ray smiled at his friends, squeezing his arms around his girl's waist, making her blush as his biceps tensed around her. He felt so big behind her and she smiled bashfully at how she felt like he was protecting her.

"Aw, thanks, Ray."

"Thanks, man," Henry and Charlotte returned his smile, delighted that he was proud of them.

"And I'm proud of you too, sweet girl. You really came through for me." Ray praised (y/n), pressing a sweet kiss to her temple, making her face really flush. How was she supposed to stay calm when he said stuff like that to her? The teens smirked at their bosses as the young woman squirmed in Ray's lap, her hips rolling against his.

"I bet those employees at Sushi Dushi were thrilled when you finally let them out of that fridge," Ray told them shakily. He was striving to keep his voice steady as the girl in his lap unknowingly ground her ass into him in wickedly passionate waves.

Henry, Charlotte and (y/n) went quiet at his assumption, realising they had forgotten something really, really important. Those poor Sushi Dushi employees must have been in the refrigerator for hours.

"Yeah, yeah." Henry choked out, his face paling.

"It was a magical moment." Charlotte smiled nervously, hoping Ray wouldn't see her clammy skin.

"We did some good work..." (y/n) stammered apprehensively, not knowing that Ray was praying that she wouldn't notice how her movements were affecting him.

"Well, fantastic work guys," Ray told them, lifting (y/n) off his lap so he could make a quick exit with his growing predicament.

"Now, I'm gonna head down to the Man Cave and install a mirror in my shower!" He smiled at the kids, ignoring (y/n)'s puzzled expression.

"Should I even ask?" She grinned at her best friend's antics, swallowing at the thought of him in the shower, wet, naked, oh, geez.

"Have fun!" Charlotte called after her boss. He dashed to the elevator so he could find sanctity in his room, where he could find relief to the fantasy of a girl with (y/c/h) hair and voluptuous curves.

"I gotta go get those people outta that fridge!" Henry panicked, taking out his gum tube and shoving a gumball in his mouth.

"Bring sushi!" Charlotte told him, as he briskly walked to the door.

"If they're alive!" (y/n) added, hoping the kid wouldn't be greeted with the gruesome sight of chilled corpses.

"Will do!" Henry waved them goodbye and ran off into the night. A hero's work was never done.

[dipplie]

Temporary list of my stories and OC’s until one day I make a comprehensive and well made list:

Blinded:

Polli: My oldest OC and fun fact was my persona till she become edgy and I wasn’t 12 anymore. Everyone’s favorite yes yes I’m aware. Yellow, energetic, eats dirt and bugs, I can’t tell if she’s evil because of a wisp possession or just crazy. Breaks the 4th wall. Is she a Mary Sue???????? Who knows.

Melody: NOT Polli’s girlfriend despite Polli’s delousions. Has an abusive mom :(. Only has one eye and then no eyes and then robot eyes or smthn idk she becomes a badass when she gets older. But otherwise trembling in her shoes all the time.

Melodys Mom/Sharren: Bitch. Okay well all I’ll say is she’s old and grumpy and probably smells bad.

Louise: Total hotty, rich kid, FtM, got bullied as a kid for his weight. Had a squad of fans basically in high school. Lived with his mom after his parents got a divorce but his mom was semi abusive, projected her femininity onto him, and wouldn’t have been supportive of his transition, so between middle and high school he went to live with his dad and got his sex change and testosterone. His best friend in elementary and middle school stopped talking to him after his transition, and became his competition for the most attractive and sought after boy in school (except Louise is a sweetheart while his friend Tommy is a dick and really gross) His dad runs a company that specializes in technology, and after meeting and falling in love with Melody (even after all her abusive trauma and losing both her eyes) he has his dad and some of the developers create a way to get her vision back and I mean honestly I love him how could you not love him he’s so perfect.

Watching:

Fick: Big nerd boy with thick glasses. I feel like he’d use Reddit but don’t quote me on that. Big crush on Vivinya. Boy don’t wander into the woods- oh look dead body with a curse on it don’t touch it- aaaand now he has a wisp that makes him kill people, way to go kid. Panic attack central.

Vivinya: True crime girl, yucky yucky. Probably had a knife collection. “uwu I’m insane” except she actually is and starts using Fick to kill people for her and treats him like her “Yandere boyfriend” or something cringe and gross oh god. She deserves jail. JAIL. Needs to learn guys need to give consent too. Just overall sucks 1/10.

Tommy: I mentioned him early to be Louises ex best friend and rival. He used to have a crush on Louise actually but that don’t excuse being a BITCH!!!! Also needs to learn people gotta give consent he is just as gross as Vivinya. Cheats on all the girls he gets with because he’s again, a bitch. Idk if he deserved to get murdered though I mean he was still a teenager but it’s fine. Thinks of the song Seventeen from Heathers actually this story does feel a tad reminiscent of heathers with vivinya being a crazy and wanting to off a bunch of students. Huh.

Suzannie: Tommy’s older sister who’s a detective. What a coincidence. Monotone and depressed. Probably because her little brother got murdered. Gets real awkward when she’s talking about her brothers murder(s) to Fick and Vivinya like “when I find who did this to him they’ll regret being born”. Kind of really pretty actually.

Adolescents (there isn’t actually a story here yet but don’t worry about it shhhh):

Nelson: HIMBO HIMBO H- Jock stupid idiot big dork god he’s so awkward and his main personality trait is having a crush on Naomi and being a dork when talking to her. Probably could benchpress you.

Naomi: Gamer or something and a nerd geek. Her main personality trait is having a crush on Nelson and also being a dork when talking to him. Probably a weeb and fandom dweller. Can’t draw but she commissions artists to draw. She does write copious amounts of fanfiction though.

Andrés: Ohhh the school bad boy babyyyy. Baseball bat with nails in it or something. There’s like... A thing between him in Charlotte and he wants to be a thing but she’s being difficult and makes it hard to talk to her or about her and ugh.

Charlotte: Princess, high school princess. She’s actually pretty nice when you get to know her- but she’s a diva. Ballerina after school. Best friends with Naomi and doesn’t know what she’s talking about when she mentions ships or OTPs but she listens anyways because she’s a good friend. There’s like... A thing between her and Andrés but she doesn’t know if she’s super into him but geez he’s really hot but she gets such mixed responses when she asks her friends about it and what if it doesn’t work outttt.

Marlon: They/Them but they’re okay with either pronouns they aren’t sure yet, he or she is okay... Box boy box boy. Autism... He doesn’t want to admit He’s attracted to men but he’s totally attracted to men. He lives alone which is probably illegal for his age but somehow he manages. Everyone thinks he’s “the quiet kid” and he’s really sad about it no don’t make jokes like that please guys ahh-

Sing for Me:

Kat: The color pink, addahadda(adhd), angry and loud and short. For being only like 10 and being an adorable little lesbian dressing in sparkly pink dresses she actually likes screaming a lot and would totally sing heavy metal if her producers let her. Loud and mad but gets so soft around her girlfriend. “If anything happens to Brie I’m killing everyone in this room and then myself”.

Brie: French... Birds and stuff. Loves her girlfriend even though she is so loud. So fast. So much. Likes to write pretty things. Is only like an inch taller than Kat. Filled with so much love for everything.

Elliot: The girls manager. Lots of coffee. Stressed out of his MIND please help this man. Probably gay. Seems like a smug dick but he is just a tall and lanky dork that loves puppies and wants nothing more than for Kat and Brie to be happy. Accidentally brands them as sisters and then Kat kisses Brie and- oh fuck oh shit oh no what has he done. Hides the fan and non fan responses from them. Poor guy.

Horror Hosts:

Ichabod: Hot demon who’s the son of the current ruler of hell or something. I mean he’s hot, smart, and royalty, what more do you want. I very specifically hear the dub voice of Kyoya Ootori from OHHC as his voice don’t @ me. Goat legs????? Yeah??? Don’t be rude.

Barnabie: Ohhhhhhhhh big orc teddy bear I’m crying I love him????? He puts up a more confident ploy and the given stereotypical personality orcs supposedly have but he’s just a shy boy that wants to give girls flowers and call boys pretty. Help him.

Garrison: Gary Burger. Fat hairy gay man. I mean werewolf. Wouldn’t it be funny if I made the whole werewolf thing backwards and made him transform into a HUMAN only on the full moon??? Party animal, pun absolutely intended. LOUD AND FUNNY he’s a dork. Bites. Horny on main Garrison please you’re supposed pamper and flirt with the guests but not quite that much.

Vincenzo: Token Vampire but he’s Italian because I felt like it. Talk and lanky of course. Bitch face. Blood coffee? Yeah lots of coffee. Tired. Let him sleep in Ichabod. Steps on people. Can summon and reanimate corpses but has a bitter attitude towards them because they get annoyed with him as much as he gets annoyed with- everyone else. He does have a soft spot but idk where it is. When he’s talking to guests he’s more suave and sexy though.

Kai: Genderfluid haha get it because slime fluid-... I’ll stop. Probably objectively the hottest because they can look anyway they want and shift their vocals to sound like almost anything, also probably objectively the best in bed (if you’re okay with the texture of Jell-o) and honestly come on save some for the rest of us it’s not fair. This boy can SING oh my god seranade me and whisper in my ear baby. Spunky and sassy.

Hallvor: BABY OCTOPOD BOY OHHHHH I LOVE HIM HE’S SO SWEET AND IS AN ANGEL DARLING BOY SO EMBARRASSED SO SHY SOFTEST VOICE OHHH- ohhh nooo he’s got a knife ohhhhh Hallvor baby don’t be like that ohhhh... Used to work in hentai actually (I wonder why) but quit because of immoral practices and good for him we love that. Okay he’s not actually a yandere or whatever but he DEFINITELY wants to squeeze you a little too hard and has those crazy eyes.

Carla: Main character of this OHHC monster clone. She sucks I don’t like her because listen listen she kills monsters as a living and when she tries to kill our boys here, Ichabod catches her and goes “no” but then the rest (not knowing her murderous intent) fall in love with her and Ichabod is like: “shoot well I’ll keep you alive and around but I’m watching you” and blah blah romance and feelings and character development and wow she seems like she’s grown to care about them... So Ichabod removes a curse he put to prevent her from harming them or leaving... AND THEN SHE STABS THEM ALL IN THE BACK IM CRYING. I mean she might have an extra reason for needing to kill them but I haven’t decided if I want to actually put it in the story yet so.

Fingertips:

Maria/Marianna: Was this goth angry chick and the head of these losers but after a failed heist, fire, and being betrayed and dropped from a window on a 3rd or 4th story down into flames, and going to the hospital and changing her name, she changed totally and become a soft pretty girl... And then the next three boys went “HEY BOSS WE FOUND YOU” and she went “oh no” and now she’s just an anxious wreck like “no no no no no I don’t shoot people in the face anymore no no no no no” And has a fear of hands. Also was Diamontés best friend in primary school and yes all these characters went to the K-12 school all the other characters do/did. Pretty voice. The story is mostly about her being anxious around all the other characters because who was it that betrayed her and dropped her into the flames below? Find out next week on th-

Nikki: He’s that character that you see and immediately go “oh he’s gross and is angry and is a bitch” and you’re right he is and has a cockney accent and screams a lot and probably swings a knife around a lot, but he’s got a sweet interior (somewhere in there... somewhere) Screamo heavy metal. Him and the rest of these character briefly talked about having a band and then they didn’t and then at the end of the story they do and although he plays guitar mostly, if he does do lead vocals he screams a lot. Bitch.

Anthony: Pretty boy but like the “was in the army” pretty boy vibe. Probably played football in highschool. Pyromaniac. Punches Nikki a lot. Almost gives himbo vibes sometimes, almost. Kind of likes the old timey cozy aesthetic. Plays the piano sometimes but “oh I’m not very good at it” Plays extremely well

Diamonté: TALL. Purple goth boy aesthetic hellll yeahhhh. CRAZY EYES AND THEY SPEAK VOLUMES WATCH OUT. Drums. The scary kind of quiet because he just smiles at you. Crowbar. Okay but he’s actually really sweet though. Secretly loves watching Anthony and Nikki get into fights so that’s why he rarely puts a stop to it. I think he’s a sadist. Can be a gentle giant, but can also be a not so gentle giant. The only time he’s really talkative is after copious amounts of booze.

Unnamed/Undesigned 1: Literally a pimp and he’s pretty gross. Blonde hair and pink and white clothes.

Unnamed/Undesigned 2: Chick that likes to throw knives and be angry and threatens Marianna a lot but in a quiet and monotone way, Marianna is pretty scared and hopes that these are just shallow threats uhhhhh.

Unnamed/Undesigned 3: Sells guns (without a lisence of course) and wears a bandana over his face a lot. Tired. Grumpy.

Unnamed/Undesigned 4: Like Marianna, was cold hearted and cool but then got caught in the fire and got all soft. He only has one eyes but how sweet his eyepatch is a heart. Recoved along side Marianna and they are good friends good friends tha- wait Marianna are you going back with them oh god you can’t do that oh dear oh no oh-

(I don’t have a story or name for these two but they’re my comfort ship OC’s and my current hyper fixaction right now):

Rodriquéz: I literally designed him with almost all the traits I find attractive in a guy other than freckles so as you can imagine I find him super HOT. I also designed his personality on what I find attractive from a guy so as you can imagine I find him super GREAT. But anyways he’s grumpy and closed off and monotone and smug. I really could go on for hours about how I want him to step on me I’m so sorry guys. Both him and Samantha give the “21 and having immature fun” vibes. They’re a thing but they like going to bars together and splitting off and doing their own thing (or doing someone else’s thing if you get what I mean haHhahHhahGahGhaha-) But so help them if anyone doesn’t oblige by the “no” from one of these two, someone’s gonna get beat up.

Samantha: (She literally just my personality shhhhh don’t tell anyone it’s a secret) Bubbly, energetic, a little shy by extroverted, bombshell blonde or something? It took me way too much time and effort to design her but I’m really happy with how I finally designed her, I love her outfit. She could kick me in the face and I’d say thank you. Girly drinks at the bar. Got that trauma and anxiety™️ secretly though. Skips and jumps a lot. As I’m typing this I keep looking up at the drawing of her and more and more I would want her to also step on me.

(Space Story I don’t have a nice title for):

Unnamed/Undesigned 1: So... Funny story this story originally was with me and uh... My ex I guess... So I gotta replace the MC’s... Whoops ahaha... Awkward. But anyways the MC is a robot and a girl and is a slight tsundere or smthn.

Unamed/Undesigned 2: Has a space ship, works for this organization in space that protects the galaxy. Is cocky, lazy, sly, oblivious, and an idiot. The love interest- obviously. Probably accidentally committing space crimes. (Like space pirating hAHAHA-) Kind of cool when he wants to be.

Dandelion/Dandy: CAT. WITH A JET PACK. Kind of an asshole. Fun fact used to be Polli’s cat but then when the Second MC crash landed on earth she was like “fuck this noise I’m going with space boy laterz” (okay she can’t talk but she thought it).

Zizii: Lesbian alien? Yeah???? Okay but I mean her main character trait is being a dorky back alley doctor and engineer obsessed with the MC because they’re a sentient robot with emotions and a lazer arm and rocket boots WOW!!!!!!!!

Story I want to revive:

So I had a story I started writing a long time ago about this tech theatre kid that had a crush on this other theatre kid character, but in a play that other character has to kiss another person for the show, and as the story progresses the MC convinces themselves that it isn’t just a play and that their crush actually loves and is kissing that other kid. And in the play, that other character is supposed to die. Show night comes along and they die, but like actually, and by the hands of the MC (Idk maybe like a light falls on em or smthn). So it’s a grotesque scene the audience sees as just an act. (Mutters I dunno I think my idea’s cool...) So I’ve been wanting to design these characters and work more on the story but I’m busy being obsessed with Rodriquez and Samantha so. (And the Horror Host Club too I love them too still).

Other Characters that either don’t have a specific story or are kind of like background characters:

Jacqueiliquinne Merril: Sara Berry vibes from 35mm (go look up The Ballad of Sara Berry, maybe like an animatic idk the first one that comes up is nice) But otherwise rich, pretty, popular, bitch. Tries to like, steal Louise from his squad and it’s like bro that’s unnecessary who hurt you that’s so rude. She gives Nui from Kill La Kill Vibes too. Oh she knows her name is long and annoying but you have to say the whole thing.

Brianna: Jaqueiliquinne’s sister. Big titty goth gf??? She’s pretty popular too and kind of a bitch too but to a much lesser degree. Her and he sister throw hands a lot when no one is around, you know, “THEY GIRLS ARE FIGHTINNGGGG”.

The Louise Fan Club: 4 characters I haven’t named yet. One writes fanfiction of Louise and shares it with the others and with him sometimes and although he thinks it’s a bit weird he also finds it a tad endearing and supports her. One is an aspiring photographer and is constantly asking Louise to model for him. One is an artist and draws Louise all the time. And one is an aspiring musician who writes songs based of Louise’s relationships which again he finds a little weird but endearing and supports her.

The Jacquiliquinne Merril Fan Club: Genderbent-ish (I say ish because one of the characters is a little bit less defined gender wise) versions of the Louise Fan Club. Yes I’m lazy, and no they don’t get along with them, infact they hate each others club with a passion. 

Unnamed/Undesigned: I wanna make some hacker kid just because I wanna have one.

Unnamed/Undesigned: I also really wanna have a super cutesy magical girl and then a really super duper generic boring character probably like star vs the forces of evil idk I never watched that show but it looks cute.

Me: I exist in the universe fukc you I can do what I want it’s my story and I get to chose the who also if you wanna be in the mess of a universe go ahead draw yourself with my OC’s I allow and encourage and appreciate it. I literally made the Horror Host Club as a sort of Harem story and you are absolutely allowed to make out with them if you’re a monster fucker DO it GO ahead it’s canon.

and that is ALL I have FOR now Knowing me I’ll make like 12 more characters by July, and I mean I need more characters for the high school anyways so...

[devilsnwitches]

SSDD - Ch2 - Witchy Instincts

AO3 <Link - Written by Me & @lynxtigerwritings

Tags = AU Canon-Divergent / Canon-Typical Behavior

Pairings = Vergil-OFC / Dante-OFC / Nero-Kyrie / V-OFC

Note - READ LOVE’S SACRIFICE IT’S V PROLOGUE - Pairing V/OFC

“So I knew about Lysander one,” Dante said as he leaned back into a chair, a magazine on his lap. Vergil was out cold, and Charlotte decided to go downstairs and rest since she stayed up most of the night. For someone that promised a “watch”, she took more than her fair share. It was practically daybreak now, and Yvette had to do a combination of shove her sister down the stairs and tuck her securely into a couch to make sure she’d never move again. “I hate to say it, but I didn’t know there was a Lysander two that took on the family business.”

Startled from getting lost in her own head, Yvette blinked at him for a second before his words clicked and she nodded, “Yeah, sorry. Lotty and I don’t do every job together, a lot of the time splitting up. I also run my own little ‘at home’ business, so there’s that. I’m not always out there slayin’ monsters, but I’m always available if Lotty needs me.”

“Lotty huh? How did she get that nickname?” Dante never heard of Charlotte’s nickname, but now that he had it...he was pretty certain he was going to get shot for it. Regardless, he was still curious about it. “What at home business do you do?”

“Well, I’m younger by two years and when I was learning to talk I couldn’t say her name properly. I called her Lotty and she calls me Vetty when she’s being sentimental or upset about something. As for what I do? I go to people’s homes, businesses, or whatever and I sage cleansing and purification. Sometimes it sparks a demon attack, sometimes it doesn’t. I also offer meditation sessions and crystal massage.” She grinned, “I’m a nut for shiny rocks.”

“Lysander witches, makes sense.” Dante nodded. “Vetty’s adorable. Kind of reminds me of a puppy.”

“Lotty and Vetty could both be pupper names,” Yvette snickered, “Though honestly, that’s a first. Dunno how she’d feel about being called a puppy. She’s more like a moody cat.”

Dante could see it. “My brother’s the same way. They get along well. At least, as well as one can get when someone is literally burning the poison out of you.” His eyes wandered to Vergil’s sleeping form. They were pieces of work. Both of them. “He’s been gone for seven years. I wasn’t really expecting him to come back.”

“Geez, seven years?” she toyed with the silver spinner ring on her left thumb, also watching Vergil, “I can’t…” she shook her head, “I can’t even begin to imagine what seven years without Lotty would be like...I mean, if she’s gone longer than a week on a demon mission I get worried sick.”

“Well, in honesty my brother and I aren’t exactly heart to heart types of people. To be frank, I didn’t even know Vergil even had a woman, let alone a kid for a long time until I randomly dropped in during a bad time.” Dante sighed, kicking his legs to cross them the other direction. “Nero was the one that told me about the seven-year thing. We...tend to stay out of each other’s business. The only common connection we have is Nero. He’s the one that might take over Devil May Cry when I get ready to retire or some shit.”

“‘The family business, saving people hunting things’...oh my god my nerd showed I’m so sorry.” Yvette smacked her hand over her face.

“Supernatural?” Dante snickered. “You have to admit, they come up with some really interesting ideas. I wouldn’t mind fighting some of the demons they’re hunting, but I’m not too sure they can handle ours.”

“Two different worlds, that’s for goddamn sure. They’d shit themselves seeing our demons, I wholeheartedly agree.” Yvette blew her hair from her face, “What was it like? Finding out Nero was family?”

“Insane,” Dante admitted bluntly. “Vergil’s not the type that goes after women, let alone a longstanding relationship. But they seemed to have lasted...for a while. I wouldn’t blame her if she walked away. Our lives are difficult. Hard. Vergil, more so.”

“If Vergil’s not the type to pick a woman lightly, she wouldn’t have walked.” Seeing the way he relaxed under Charlotte’s touch gave plenty away, and Dante’s explanation helped solidify that idea. “What would make more sense to me is if she met the same fate as my parents because you’re right, this life’s hard. Dangerous as fuck. Dog-eat-dog world and all that.”

“Well can’t blame me for hoping that she was smart.” Dante sighed, “But you’re not wrong. Missing for seven years and coming back looking like that? He must have gone after her, or something happened in the Underworld and didn’t want to tell me about it. We have our differences about it. It’s caused us both a lot of pain.” He stretched. “Enough with the depressing talk. Nothing’s gonna get fixed if we mope about it.”

“Yeah, that was harsh. Sorry.” She eyeballed him, “Stiff?”

“Nothing I can’t handle, Yeti. You’re good. Stiff? Yeah, a bit.” Dante agreed. “It’s from sitting in uncomfortable places for too long, I’m sure.”

“I’ll give you a surprise if you never call me Yeti again.”

“Where’s your sense of adventure? I thought you were the less stuck up one.”

“Rude. Fine. Close your eyes.” When he arched a brow at her she did the same until he stubbornly obeyed. Standing up she went around and wiggled and stretched her fingers before she pounced. This was what she really enjoyed doing, giving massages. Taking into account his thick coat she adjusted pressure and slid along his muscles smoothly.

“Oh god, that hits the spot.” Dante groaned as she got right into a good knot. “Damn.”

“Take this off and it’ll get better.” Yvette’s grin went from ear to ear as she tapped his shoulder and lifted her hands long enough for him to shrug his coat, draping it back over the seat and she went right back at it. This time she even worked along his neck, back and forth creating gentle friction, then along the back neck tendons, behind his ears to his temples, back again, working his shoulders and repeating. Even though she’d been awake forever by now, doing something she loved made her giddy and woke her up.

As she worked on the knots around his neck and shoulders, he felt himself relax completely into her hold. It wasn’t often he let himself go like that, but this was a safe spot and he knew the Lysander reputation well enough to know that if they had his back on the battlefield, then they’d have his back here as well. He wasn’t even aware when he started purring deep in his chest.

Biting her lip to keep herself in check, Yvette took a breath through her nose and calmed down, instead focusing on the rhythm of it and eventually her own body rocked to the movement. She didn’t hum like her sister, so the only sound was the soft ‘scritch scritch’ when she went through his hair, his purring and soft groans when she did something particularly good. Eventually, her wrists and fingers started to cramp and she gave him a couple of pets to smooth his hair down after messing it up, “I think he’ll be fine if you wanna crash,” she whispered in his ear so not to startle him from his reverie.

It sounded like a good idea, but Dante decided against it, shaking his head minutely and then pulling himself out of the trance. “Nah, but thanks for the moment.” He told her sincerely. “It’s been a while.”

“More than welcome,” she looked at the window. Sunrise. “You cool if I do, then?”

“Go for it,” Dante assured. “I got this.”

X

It was much later in the afternoon. Nico wasn’t at all surprised to know that the apartment was still crowded as hell from the appearance of a couple of witches and Vergil coming back from wherever the hell he was. It was enough of a crowd that made her go back into the garage to fix the damn van that they used for mobile calls. She wandered out, cigarette already in her hand and ready for a lighter when she noticed a shadow coming across the garage.

Great, it was going to be Nero and Vergil all over again, wasn’t it? “Hey psycho!” Nico called to the shadow that paused. “Stop loitering! Either get yer ass in here or leave.”

Here’s the thing, Nico was expecting a demon. She was expecting someone to go under the door, weapon out and she would have to call for Nero to save her dumbass and Nero would never let her live it down for weeks. What she wasn’t expecting was a curvy goth pinup girl. She was a gorgeous piece of work and Nico could appreciate it when she saw it. “You lookin’ for something?”

“Not really a something.” The girl said, her voice soothing. Nico wondered who would out mom the other: this woman or Kyrie. “I’m looking for someone that runs Devil May Cry. Is that you?”

“Girl, you came to the right place with a bunch of us hoarding around a coffee table. Only you also picked terrible timing since one of us is down for the count and we’re all losing our heads over him.” Nico said, bringing the cigarette to her mouth to inhale and then exhale the smoke. “What did you do? Summon a demon you can’t get rid of? Pretending you’re a witch?”

The pained expression on the woman’s face told Nico that she hit some nails on the head, but not all of them. “Not me.” The girl said, and now that Nico was getting a closer look at her, damn. This girl knew how to put on makeup.

“Your eyeliner looks like it can cut a bitch.” Nico complimented. “Come upstairs. I’ll get the morons.”

“Thanks.” The girl smiled, and Nico snubbed out the cigarette before guiding her back up to the apartment.

“So, what’s your name?” Nico asked conversationally as she shoved the door open.

“Alexina.”

“How many nicknames you got outta that name?”

“I’m still counting to this day.” Alexina sighed.

Nico whistled. “Lucky I only get the one. Oi! Loser!” She called into the apartment. “I got a job for you hot shit!”

“Be more specific on the ‘loser’ part, Nico-nee,” Yvette chirped and Kyrie smacked her chest with the back of her hand. The two lighter brunettes were indeed sitting ‘round the coffee table.

“Customer?” Kyrie eyed Alexina and immediately she frowned, “What do you take? Coffee or tea?”

“Don’t know if customer’s the right word, but uh...I normally take a coffee.” Alexina said turning towards Kyrie. “Thank you.”

“OI!” Nico shouted again.

“I HEARD YOU THE FIFTH TIME!” Nero’s voice rang through the apartment and Alexina blinked as the boy in question walked down the stairs. His hair was short, and he looked...young. Younger than Alexina thought he was. Maybe they wouldn’t have a clue. Maybe this was a bad idea after all. He glanced at the girl that was standing beside Nico and gave her only a once over. “Sorry about my mechanic.” He said. “She’s usually better trained than this.”

Nico casually flipped him off. “I’m goin’ back downstairs in case the van’s needed. Y'all let me know where I need to head.” She said as she walked off without another word.

If there was one thing Nero couldn’t do, it was talking to strangers. Customer service was not his thing still. Kyrie could handle them so much better, and Dante was probably heading down here since Charlotte was taking over watching his dad.

“So,” Nero said slowly as he sat down on the coffee table, leaning a bit forward. “How may I help?”

“It’s more or less a question that I have,” Alexina said slowly. “Do you know anything about demon summoning.”

“I am not summoning a damn thing,” Nero said bluntly.

“I’m not asking you to, I’m asking if you knew anything about it.” Alexina held her hands up. “As in. Do you know to reverse a deal.”

Yvette was intrigued, but she didn’t want to steal Nero’s thunder so she simply listened. Kyrie was bustling about getting coffee in the coffee maker, but she peered over her shoulder, “We might be able to answer that better if you explain to us what happened.”

Nero watched the woman for a moment. The way she lifted her hand up to the tooth that was around her neck. How she fingered and played with it as she thought. “Someone close to you made a deal huh.” He didn’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to figure that out. “That sucks.”

Her lips twitched. “It was my fault.” The bluntness of the statement took Nero back a bit. “I was sick. He thought it was a good idea. The only idea. Summoned a demon and now he’s the one suffering. Apparently, his energy and demon energy aren’t...he’s not a witch. I at least don’t think he is. I don’t know his bloodline, he’s an orphan, see. Clearly, something’s going wrong with whatever the deal was.”

“How?”

“Best way to describe it is that he can force the energy to create familiars. I’ve only met two of them, but there’s three.” Alexina said softly. “Griffon’s alright. Mouthy and a bitch, but he’s alright. Shadow’s a huge cat, and I don’t have any problems but...I don’t know it’s a bad feeling in my gut that tells me something’s wrong.”

“If I may?” Yvette piped up, looking at Nero for permission. It was never a bad thing to follow Char’s rule about not sticking their noses in the business of Devil May Cry, but ‘witch’ and ‘demon deal’ in the same breath of conversation wasn’t a good sign.

“Go for it.” Nero gestured.

“Did your friend happen to mention to you that a summoning for a normal person isn’t supposed to work?” Yvette went right to the point.

Alexina sucked in a sharp breath. Nero had a feeling that the friend probably glossed over that fact, but Alexina was a sharp cookie. “I figured as much.” She said after a moment. “I study the occult for fun.”

“I bet your friend does, too,” she rubbed her forehead, “An orphan, yet you’re sure he’s not a witch. It’s rare as fuck, but not unheard of for a modern witch to start a new line. There was a lot more magic and raw force and energy back when my bloodline started. Could you tell me more about him so I can piece this together?”

“Admittedly, I’m the bookworm when it comes to the occult. He’s more of the...poet. Literally. I met him back in high school.” She sat down on the edge of the couch, smoothing out her skirt. “We have one of those friendships where you can ask us how we met and we’ll have several different stories. What I do remember was that he stood out and blended in. Quiet. Honest. But only if you ask. Only if you even try.” She rubbed her lips together, smearing the dark raspberry color around but nothing too rough. “Mom died after we graduated. We moved in together since we were the only family we had left. But then I got sick.” There was a long pause. “He thought I was going to die.”

Kyrie listened as Yvette only hummed at first as she went quiet, sinking into her chair, forefinger over her mouth and spinning the ring on her thumb. Putting together the coffee, taking Alexina in and making a good hard guess on how she liked it, she brought it over, “He had a purpose.”

“My life means more to him.” Alexina agreed as she took the coffee cup. “I called him out on it when I was in the hospital, but...he was adamant it was the only way and that he wasn’t going to...walk away. He was ready for me to. Griffon told me that later on when he wasn’t around to overhear. I know it’ll mean my death.” She looked at Nero firm. “But I’m a fighter. I’ve been around chronic illness all my life, I can do it again.”

Nero looked over at Yvette.

“If there’s a reverse I’d have to research it and ask my sister to help, but in all actuality, it may not be as much of a pressing matter as you think.” She tapped her chin, “He’s a poet so he’s eloquent. Had a strong definite purpose. Was no doubt willing to accept death if you lived. That’s the problem a lot of modern wannabes don’t have the solid willpower. A sliver of doubt at any given moment during their attempted rituals and it fails. Or they summon something and it doesn’t end well. He’s still around and here you are, healthy as all can be. Then there are his familiars. They sound kind. Protectors. What he did was profound. That’s more than a success. That’s a triumph.”

“As much as you’re singing praise,” Nero couldn’t help this part. “You’re talking about an untrained witch running around with three familiars that we don’t know what they can do. As well as, what price did he pay for it?”

Yvette smacked her forehead with the heel of her hand, “This is why Char is around. I’m hairbrained as fuck. Thanks and sorry. Yeah, a brand-spankin' new witch is sure to draw attention. Where the hell do you guys live?”

“Across town, on the outskirts of the city.” Alexina nodded her head towards a direction. “We like the quiet.”

“I bet you do,” Nero muttered. There were hardly ever any attacks on the outskirts. Not a lot of humans, not a lot of chaos. Now that there was a witch there, he could expect that to grow. “It sounds like me to it’s not much a reversal, but we can do something to help with his powers. That’s a start. While he harnesses those, it might slow down whatever price he made right?” He looked at Yvette. “Or do you think that’ll speed it up?”

“No, no, you’re on the right track. Smart kid,” Yvette beamed at him, “Training helps strengthen the spirit as well as the body. Being a poet will end up being useful if he wants to learn spells. Hell, his favorite poems could be spells if he damn well wanted them to be.”

“He’s stubborn enough I’m sure,” Alexina said dryly. “I’m not sure how to bring him here without him getting suspicious. Hell, he’s probably wondering where I’m at as we speak.”

“You didn’t tell him you were doing this?”

“He didn’t exactly ask me for my permission when he summoned a demon so I think this is more than fair.” Alexina shrugged.

“Yeah, definitely fair. You say you live crosstown? I kinda live in the middle of there and here, and if you’d like you could make up some bullshit story how you heard about my little cleansing business and I can drop by your place?”

Without another word, Alexina pulled out her phone from her purse and tossed it to Yvette. “Type in your number and I can text you the address. I’m on Seaside.” At her confused look, Alexina frowned. “You know, past the intersection of Dwight and Morningstar?” Another confused look. “You are terrible with directions aren’t you.”

“That’s why Charlotte’s my GPS.” Yvette deadpanned but she fiddled with Alexina’s phone and put in her contact information as well as her sister’s for good measure, “Pay me for gas and it’s all good. Curiosity's got me too good for me to care much about pricing.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Alexina assured as she set the half-drunk coffee cup onto the table and she looked at Nero. “I hope whoever’s injured is feeling better soon.” She said gently as she stood up. “I should take my leave before I get a phone call and Griffon squawking.”

“Yeah,” Nero said watching her leave the apartment and he turned to Yvette. “I never heard of anyone summoning a demon and living to tell about it. Either this friend of hers is a witch, or he’s part-demon of some sort.”

“I’m voting neither, but he did make himself a witch with the summoning. Believe what you want, kiddo, but I’m gunna go with my witchy instincts on this one.”

“Go for it, at least it’s not my job. I’d fuck this all up.” Nero shrugged as he got off the coffee table. “I’m going to check in on father and Charlotte. I bet she’ll be curious too. About this mysterious friend of Alexina’s that can summon a demon and get familiars out of it.”

“Might as well tell Dante there’s coffee,” Kyrie smiled at him, “I’m sure he’ll appreciate it after not sleeping all night.”

“I’ll bring him a cup.” Nero agreed as he went to her side and pressed a kiss against her cheek before heading to the kitchen to grab that cup of coffee that Kyrie made and go back upstairs where people were.

It bothered him to no end really. He’d do the same for Kyrie, no question if their situation had been the same as those two. Yet, he couldn’t shake off this feeling that her friend was going to be a lot more dangerous than any demon he saw yet.

He should’ve taken the time to ask Alexina what she even knew about demons. Oh well.

X

So far, the constant pain and agony had mostly gone away. His back was the source of it, still soaking in the antidote, but his body ached. Charlotte had been kind and brought him a glass of water, so his throat wasn’t parched and feeling like a desert, either. Propped against the pillows, Vergil had his ankles crossed in front of him and his personal book in his lap Dante had retrieved from his coat. Not for the first time and certainly not the last time he was grateful for his demonic healing, though he wouldn’t be fully well for at least a few more days.

Charlotte had taken refuge in a seat, curled into a ball that looked uncomfortable but she made no noises of complaint and she barely spoke, though sometimes she’d leaned her head towards Vergil when she heard him mutter a line under his breath, but never asked to repeat it or to speak up. The door opened and she looked up. “Hey, Nero. Dante’s in the shower.”

“I figured.” Nero sighed as he handed her the coffee instead. “You get this then.” He watched her take it from his hands and curled up even more with it. “How are you doing, pops?” Nero turned his attention to Vergil.

“Being weak is not something I enjoy, but…” Vergil examined the same hand that had reached out to Nero yesterday in the garage, no longer grey and black-veined, though he was still too pale for anyone’s liking, “...I am doing well. Charlotte’s antidote is working on  healing my back now.”

“That’s good,” Nero said as he looked at his father. He looked a lot better than yesterday, but the image still burned into his mind. Of the flecking skin, and the black veins. He turned towards Charlotte. “So I got a question for you. Know anything about demon summonings?”

“I’ve done a few in my lifetime.” Charlotte pulled her shirt down to show a long scar down her neck and chest. “I learned my lesson. Why?”

“You’re going to go on a wild trip with this one. Apparently, there’s a girl who has a friend, not saying names here cuz she didn’t give me any, who not only successfully summoned a demon but made a deal with it, too.” Nero clicked his tongue. “Vet’s playing detective.”

“Of course she is.” Charlotte sipped the coffee.

“A common occurrence?” Vergil turned his head only slightly to look at her, “You don’t seem at all concerned.”

“It’s Vetty.” Charlotte turned towards Vergil this time. “The only time I need to get concerned is when she bites off more than she can chew. Otherwise, it’s if there’s a big demon she’s probably near it.” She turned to Nero. “I get the feeling that “successful demon summoning” line has a story behind it.”

“Yeah. Friend’s not a witch until now.” Nero concluded.

“That’s where everything goes to hell.” Charlotte sighed. “Whoever the friend is walked over my grave.”

“That is an interesting turn of phrase.” Vergil drawled, his attention seemingly returning to his book, “So will you be off, then? Duty’s done, after all.”

“Hmmm.” Charlotte shrugged. “I’ll let my sister suffer. Give her free reign. See what she comes up with.”

“A damaged car and a broken ego.”

“See if Vetty was here to hear that, you’d be window flying right now.” Charlotte gestured towards the window using her coffee cup, grinning at Nero. She looked over at Vergil. “I’ll stay here and be back up for once.”

Nero looked between the two of them, made a soft noise and then headed out towards the door. “Tension is tension. I know where I’m not needed.”

Vergil knew everyone wanted answers, and he was secretly surprised that Charlotte had decided to stay. “I know not all sibling relationships are like mine and Dante’s. You do not have to remain here, the danger has passed.”

She turned her attention towards him and she sipped on the coffee once more. “Is this you asking me to leave, or is this you wondering why I’m staying?”

“Stay because you want to, not because you feel you should.” Vergil answered instead, flipping the page of his book even as his eyes read not the words, “I only have a problem if it is unnecessary, but I cannot stop you from doing what you please, same as I cannot stop Dante from eating pizza morning noon and night.”

“Stick pineapples on it and olives.” Charlotte unfolded herself from the chair. “I’ll go ahead and take your advice then and come by later. I’m stealing Dante’s cup of coffee regardless.”

A whisper of a smirk graced his face, “That’s more like it.”

“I can be a mastermind of evil too.” Charlotte grinned as she walked towards the door. “You owe me a page of reading though.” She grinned wider as she shut the door behind her.

X

“Xina. What did you do?” While their lives didn’t necessarily have a rhyme or reason, Vitale liked to believe he knew this particular woman like the back of his hand. The first tickbox that alerted him something was out of the ordinary was her long absence. He knew when she visited her usual haunts. Since making the deal, feeling her energy stretch at different distances had fascinated him and gave him an odd sense of comfort. Today, however, she had gone far enough out of reach it nearly set him into a panic attack and Griffon’s constant stream of words had been his only distraction. The following tick box had been her attitude. Aloof might be the best word he had at the moment.

“V almost had a heart attack because you went too far.” Griffon echoed his thoughts exactly, appearing without being commanded to and landing on Xina’s shoulder. “Shakespeare didn’t know if you were going to go be gone for good this time or what!”

“Sorry.” Alexina reached and scratched Griffon’s back, letting him ruffle his feathers before turning towards her best friend. “I went to the city.” She promised. “You know. Looking for answers.” She looked over at her friend. He looked exhausted, tired circles were gentle around his eyes and he was holding himself up well, but she could tell that he wanted to topple over. She felt guilty that she had made him worry so much. She felt her heart sink into her stomach as she watched him watch her. A long time ago, Alexina wouldn’t have to question what was going through his mind. Now, she felt as though she was reaching and feeling the air.

“Answers...about me?” V pressed his hand to his chest, brow pinching. He was well aware all of this still bothered her, even three, nearly four months later and his attempts at comforting her didn’t always work. “I’m still here, Xina. Life still goes on.”

Instead of answering, Alexina closed the distance and threw herself into a hug. Griffon let out a cackle as he flew upwards and away from the two lovebirds. At least, he knew they were. Griffon watched as V slowly brought her closer against his chest, letting her in. It’s been months since the summoning, and Griffon was starting to tell that something was on the brink of changing. Whatever Alexina did, it was either bad or good and Griffon wasn’t about to say a word. Let V figure it out.

He was still here. She could practically squeeze the life out of him since he was so skinny and bony. He always had that type of body, but with the deal, she wondered if one day he’d turn into dust and disappear on the wind. She pulled away, trying to find her courage, her bravery. He was here for now. Life would go on as normal, but she had to obey her instincts. Nothing about this was normal. Normal people can’t summon. What he did was a success, a triumph. “I won’t lie to you. I found a witch.”

Griffon let out an uncomfortable sound at that.

V’s eyes found Griffon’s, “Is that supposed to mean something?”

“It means pretty boy that she might’ve found a way to go back into that coffin in the grave you’ve been keeping her away from.” Griffon translated.

“Not yet.”  Alexina gave Griffon a dark look. “What it means is that I might have found someone that we can talk to. Someone for advice.”

“Not yet means you’re thinking it.” V frowned, “Good people for advice? What advice do you believe they have for me?”

That was the question, wasn’t it? She reached for his hand and took it into hers, biting her lip as she tried to find a way to explain. “They were impressed that you were able to gain familiars and to do a successful summoning. That has to mean something, V.”

“She’s not wrong there pretty boy,” Griffon concluded. “We already established, sweetheart, he’s not a witch.”

“No, but what if he’s the start?” Alexina turned towards Griffon. “Or what if there’s a lineage somewhere that we don’t know. Yvette was pretty sure that was the case.”

“Oh boy,” Griffon shuddered. “Lysander Sisters are back. More trouble.”

Of course, Griffin would know them or know of them. V squeezed Alexina’s hand back, albeit not very enthusiastic, “Should I be concerned for you, Griffon?” He wasn’t about to give up his deal, and he would protect his familiars as he swore to protect Alexina.

“Awww Shakespeare, you’re melting my stone cold heart.” Griffon chirped. “They’re strong witches, but nothing that we can’t handle. No, I’d worry more about Hathaway over there. They can help you, pretty boy, but they’ll toss her to the fire. Try to get her to be a demon hunter or some shit.”

“Demon hunter?” V muttered. He wasn’t entirely sure how he should feel about that. Letting out a long sigh he looked down at Xina, “Did you have plans with the witch you found?”

“I didn’t say anything about them showing up but they might?” Alexina offered.

“Lysander’s don’t believe in schedules. They do what they want.” Griffon ruffled his feathers. “They’re no worse than the Sparda family. Show up, do their thing, walk away with property damage. Do you two have insurance? 'Cause you might need that. Especially if little Lysander’s going to be coming over.”

“She’s not that bad,” Alexina assured quickly. “Don’t listen to him, V. Yvette’s not...that insane.”

Unfortunately, V was more inclined to believe Griffon on that one, but he nodded to Alexina anyway. Might as well see how it would go and make his own conclusions.

[spikycharlotte]

:0 all of them

y’all better strap in

four jews in a room bitching / what’s your favorite stereotype for your religion?

haha i don’t really identify with one in particular? so i’m not sure.

a tight-knit family / who do you consider family?

i for sure believe “blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.” while i do have family members whom i do love and am proud to call family, i don’t think the question is calling for that.

my best friends are like family to me, and i’d do anything for them. i also have a mentor/teacher, and he and his wife are like second parents to me.

love is blind / what makes a healthy relationship?

C O M M U N I C A T I O N ! ! ! you should NEVER be lying to your s/o!! and if your s/o does something you’re not comfortable with/makes you upset, TELL THEM! you shouldn’t be stewing, but also don’t enter the conversation angry and accusatory. and on the flip side, if your s/o comes to you with something you did, LISTEN TO THEM. apologize and explain yourself, even if it was just a misunderstanding! avoid becoming defensive. 

the thrill of first love / what’s something you’d kill for?

answered here!

marvin at the psychiatrist / do you ever feel like no one is listening to you when you talk?

i used to feel this way all the time, but i’ve recently become comfortable with saying, “excuse me, i was speaking” when i’m spoken over. also i find myself in lots of leadership positions in my day-to-day, so i’m pretty good at making myself heard.

my father’s a homo / could you/would you want to be president?

the idea (a loud, genderqueer, butch lesbian with the conscience to do the best for others) sounds great, but i’m not the person that fits that description to be president. i’m infj, so i’ve got the teacher personality, and that’s what i want to do!

everyone tells jason to see a psychiatrist / do people nag you consistently about something? if so, what?

this is such a #relatableteen answer but my room is a goddamn mess and my mom nags me on the daily to clean it (something i never do)

this had better come to a stop / what’s something people do that infuriates you?

i talked about this a little bit, but when people come to me with relationship issues and the issue could resolved so easily if instead of coming to me and telling me, they just went to their s/o. a problem cannot be resolved through outside sources.

i’m breaking down / what makes you crazy/pushes you over the edge?

answered here!

please come to our house / what was the last thing you did to help someone?

ummm to fit with the “therapy” theme of this the other night i helped a friend when she needed to vent about some crappy home things. 

jason’s therapy / what’s the worst advice you’ve ever been given?

i resent this question being with this song!!! i think mendel’s “feel alright” advice (while flawed) at its core is actually kind of pure and good! of course the way he gives it is bad (ignore your problems!)

but worst advice i’ve ever been given was i asked a friend towards the beginning of my last relationship if i should continue it and she said i should, and it ended much later and i was very unhappy throughout most of it. so that was pretty shitty. (i now have a very wonderful girlfriend who is currently having me answer all of these questions :-))

a marriage proposal / how would you want to be proposed to?

actually something very similar to how mendel does it! something private and lowkey, and just having someone word vomit their love for me sounds very cute and endearing.

however i always thought of myself as the one who would propose, so there’s that

a tight-knit family (reprise) / are you satisfied with what you have in life, or do you want more?

well as a student in high school it’s kind of hard to be satisfied, because there’s so much i want to do but i can’t as my student-ness prevents me from doing so.

but considering my place in life, i think i am quite happy!! i have a great gf, great friends, and i’m kind of excited for this school year!

trina’s song / what’s the worst interaction you’ve had with the opposite gender?

every interaction i’ve ever had with a male human being ever in my life. i could go on and on. but one that comes to mind is how one time a dude went on this huge rant during a teacher’s lecture about freud’s psychosexual theories about how homosexuality is an unnatural choice, all while continuing to glance at me to make sure he got his desired reaction

march of the falsettos / who’s the most immature person you know, and why?

um i know plenty, but the worst are some of my younger very intelligent female friends who are more focused on their boyfriends than their academics, which while i love and support them infuriate me to no end.

trina’s song (reprise) / have you ever settled for something better than you’d expected, but not as good as you’d hoped?

while this worked out for trina, as she soon would realize that mendel would be as good as she hoped, settling for less than you hope is never a good thing. 

i’ve always thought this, so i can’t really think of any examples

the chess game / what’s the most petty thing you’ve ever done?

perfect question for this song, op. 

i’ve done a lot of petty things in my life, bc i think everyone does. very recently though a girl was annoying the hell out of me trying to get me to tell her the answers for our summer hw and i gave her the entirely wrong answers.

making a home / how different are you in public than in private?

my personality is very much the same, but i’m obviously more in public. i don’t swear as much. and in private i talk to myself and sing loudly all the time which doesn’t make much sense to do in public

the games i play / do you ever wish you were doing more than you currently are?

constantly. i’m in high school so my options are grossly limited. i’m super excited to go to college and begin my teaching career. i just really want to help people!!

marvin hits trina / have you ever hated someone for being happy?

before i was in a better place like i am now, i really resented my best friend for getting a boyfriend for a while. but now i’m fine and very happy for the both of them.

i never wanted to love you / have you ever liked something you knew was bad? have you stopped?

um in middle school i liked sup/erwhol/ock despite the problematicness of them all (the other two more so than d/octor w/ho), if that’s what this means.

father to son / what is your relationship with your parents?

i love my mom a lot, she’s great. she had me in high school, and my bio dad split when he found out i existed, so i’ve never met him, but i also have no interest in doing so. i love my (step) dad a lot, but our relationship is kind of strained bc i don’t think he fully understands my being gay (even though he’s not rude or anything about it)

falsettoland/about time / do you use labels?

i actually quite like labels ? i like legitimizing my identity by finding out that other people feel the same way, and therefore have worked to put a name to it.

that’s also why i kind of like the femme/butch scale even though it was initially a joke, bc it acknowledges that not every lesbian is lipstick OR stone butch, and idk i kinda like it. but i do hate when nonlesbians ,,,,,, use it ,,,,,,, to describe lesbians,,,,, bc,,, it’s not for them…..

year of the child / when was the last time everything was about you?

idk prob my birthday parties… i don’t like being the perfect center of attention, i feel uncomfortable

miracle of judaism / what’s the last significant decision you had to make?

oh geez idk. i don’t make a lot of those… i can’t think of one right now.

the baseball game / do you play/like sports? which ones?

i do not like them really… i like badminton tho… that’s more of an activity and not a sport though

a day in falsettoland / what’s your daily routine like? 

during the summer, i wake up and fart around on the internet, unless i have somewhere to be. all the while texting maggie all day

everyone hates his parents / what was the last thing your parents did that pissed you off?

my mom is a really bad backseat driver. like swearing and anger is her brand of backseat driving. so it makes me super anxious and angry hearing someone constantly bitch while i’m trying to drive

what more can i say? / are you in love? have you ever been in love? what is it like? 

answered here! 

something bad is happening / do you get frustrated when you don’t know something?

yes i do. its a problem, especially as i’m on academic team

more racquetball / are you a sore loser/winner?

yes yes yes. mariokart comes to mind in particular. if i lose it was lagging or too many items were unfairly sent my way, or if i win everyone else sucks and i’m the best

holding to the ground / how do you react when things don’t go as planned?

i’m not the best. i’m a huge control freak, so when things don’t work out perfectly i freak out

days like this / are you an optimist, a pessimist, or a realist?

i think i’m like an.. optimistic realist? like i’m a realist, but with that i’m more likely to say “the worst case scenario is this, so at least that’s not happening”

canceling the bar mitzvah / how do you react under pressure?

i get stressed, but i also get my work done, so good and bad

unlikely lovers / do you have any friends who are extremely different from you?

yeah, a lot actually! i have one friend who listens to hard core rock stuff and has a bunch of piercings and has never listened to a musical in her life and i also have friends super into gymnastics and cheerleading and stuff. i love my friends!!

another miracle of judaism / if you could have anything right now, what would it be?

maggie, next to me

something bad is happening (reprise) / have you ever had to deliver some really bad news? how did it go? 

i had to explain to someone the oak/great comet drama, which was not fun. but i don’t think i’ve ever had to break super terrible bad news, especially not like what charlotte had to tell her best friend

you gotta die sometime / are you afraid of dying/death?

i don’t know…? the idea of nothingness is for sure daunting

jason’s bar mitzvah / what was the last big event you attended?

the other day i went to the first practice of the year for academic team! theres a lot of us and we had pizza and played and whatnot

falsettoland (reprise) / what do you want your legacy to be?

i just want people to remember me as someone who did their best to help others