#character: iry resseneb

[benmiff]

A Letter To Anubis

Been meaning to write up some stuff for the post-game for the Ancient Egyptian-ish Numenera game I was in for a little while, and finally gotten around to the first piece. As the title suggests, this is a letter that Iry has written to Anubis pretty soon after settling in to his new role as advisor to Tu, an unfinished responsibility he has to address (and one he hopes can be resolved happily, though ultimately that is up to Anubis.)

Anubis,

I have been trying to find the right words for what I need to say to you for some time now. I appreciate that there is an irony in a priest of Thoth having difficulty in finding words, but conveying the full scope of what has passed is difficult with the limitations that language imposes. Still, I have to be honest with you, have to be honest with myself and those I care about. This is something I have to say, and I need to believe you know what I mean where there are things that won’t fit in this letter; you must surely know the feelings I speak of, and the nature of what you have done, even if they cannot be completely detailed here.

It’s important that you know I’m not angry with you, not really. No, I’m just disappointed in you, and sad that you seem to have lost your way. You are one of the gods that laid down the laws of man and gods, and yet you are in breach of your own rules. You say that you should be able to truthfully claim that you have not acted with arrogance, and yet you have decided what is best for another without any consideration of what they wished. You say that you should be able to truthfully claim that you have not done less than your daily obligations require of you, and yet you have foisted your duty to oppose Ramesu onto Tari and let her take the costs of that duty. You say that you should be able to truthfully claim that you have caused no wrong to be done to any workers, and yet your influence has led to the death of someone who followed your guidance faithfully. And you say that you should be able to truthfully claim that you have not caused the shedding of tears, and yet you have caused Tari to die and those who loved her to believe in her betrayal. Your deeds are not in keeping with your ideals – you took an innocent, and you used her in ways she did not deserve.

I admit that I am not blameless in this endeavour either, and I know that I have my own reckoning waiting for me when I face Ammut and Thoth for their final judgements. I should have seen that Tari was hurting; with my abilities, I should have felt that she was hurting, should have reached out and made her feel less alone. Perhaps if I had she would have come to me or Seth or Tabiry and confided in us, and all of this could have been avoided, but I was too wrapped up in my own trials and burdens to realise she needed my help. That is something that I will have to bear for the rest of my nights, true, but it does not absolve you for your deeds in this affair.

You knew Tari was vulnerable. You knew she needed someone who would show her that she could trust us and that would show her that together we could stop Osiris and Ramesu, that there was no need for her to sacrifice herself. But it was easier for you to keep her isolated and to use her vulnerability. It was easier for you to let her sacrifice herself rather than extend yourself. Easier, though, is not the same thing as right or good; such a choice is never truly the better choice, for though the decision was simpler you have only delayed the costs of your actions until a later time. You have to live with yourself afterwards, knowing that you betrayed what you should have protected. Perhaps you think you can live with that price, but over time you will find you have changed, and there will be a day where you cannot face who you were in those moments. Please, trust me when I tell you this – I am speaking from experience that was most painful to learn, and if you learn from this it will spare you the same suffering.

Sadly, this was not even the end of your misdeeds. You had the rare chance to alleviate a good amount of the pain and suffering that you caused when you manipulated Tari into dying for you. But you didn’t take that chance, and instead chose to use the opportunity to earn at least some forgiveness as an opportunity to extort further benefits for yourself. Love is a powerful thing, and there are few who would not pay any price if it meant that a loved one is returned to them. I have no issue with spending a time in your service – in truth, I feel that I will need to remain near you for a time to bring you back to being the honourable god you used to be and can be once more. I doubt you will often want to hear my advice, but I will give it anyway, and in time I will no longer need to act as your conscience as your own should have returned. However, I am not the only one you forced into service – you also extorted both Tabiry and Seth, and that is unjust and cruel. Release them from the binding to serve that you laid upon them; such a deed would at least start you on the path back to redemption.

As I have said, I write none of this out of anger or hatred. I want you to come back to us and the people of Egypt as you once were, and I hope you do so willingly. However, I know that it would be easy to reject what I am saying, more comfortable to believe that you know what you have done is right and just and that you have committed no sins that could not be excused. However, it is the kind of easiness that you will pay for in the future, as you lose sight of who you should be and the things you should care about. I do care for you, much as I care for all the gods, but I fear that my concerns alone will not prove sufficient to say you from the path you have chosen; as such, I have sent copies of this letter to Thoth and Ammut as well so that your closest allies can also help to bring you back. We will be here for you, and we will not let you fall – none of us want to see you become another Osiris, reduced to a pitiful shell of what you once were with centuries of painful work needed before there is any hope you are returned to the side of light. I’m afraid for you that you seem to be on such a road and steadily heading towards darkness – please, turn around before it is too late.

Yours in faith,

Iry Resseneb.