#char: gordon cole

[hearteyespierce]

unfriendly reminder

(gordon cole says trans rights 🏳️‍⚧️)

[new-berry]

Instead of reading my 37 open tabs I thought I would share a short fic with you. So NSFW. M/F and implied M/F/M Anthony / Kieran / Charlotte work of fiction untrue etc etc

In case you don’t follow her Instagram here is Charlotte. You know what the other two look like by now. Also this is about porn. Not spelling. Although I did go back and fix a few bits which messed with the formatting a touch. Just look at Charlotte! It’s fine!

“Who’s that?” Cole obnoxiously crunches a peppermint right in Anthony’s ear. It makes his breath almost spicy as it blows past Anthony’s nose.

“Get off.” Anthony shrugs his shoulder but it only half dislodges Cole from his determined perch with his chin on Anthony. “It’s from Kieran.” He finally says when Cole gets bored of waiting to be answered and starts to poke him in the side. “You have bony fingers.”

“I don’t get nagging messages from my Captain. What did you do wrong? Cole looks down; “want a mint?”

“I’ve never done a thing wrong in my life.” Anthony says in his best attempt at a posh voice to make Cole laugh. “And Jamaal’s the club captain,” Anthony tells him, eyes on the text: C has a message for you. Check your emails after training. “But yeah. Gimmie one.”

They are incredibly hot and just about make his eyes water, Cole makes fun of him the whole session.

Anthony doesn’t think about Kieran’s message. He’s helped by the training and the media duties and catching up with people he normally plays against. When he closes the door to his room the text slides into the front of his mind finally taking centre stage.

He checks the door is locked, then checks again just in case, then he feels like an idiot and opens his emails leaning against the door.

There is spam and England team messages and seeing them sends a burn of excitement through him still, and four down: char-t123 has shared a movie with you.

Anthony checks the lock again and walks over to the bed, then for good measure pulls the curtains closed like anyone could see in on the this floor.

He texts “be there in 20.” So E and Cole don’t bother him, mutes alerts and kicks his shoes off as he climbs on the bed.

The screen is a still shot of someone’s back in a dimly lit room while the movie downloads, and then it starts. It’s five minutes and thirty seconds long. When it begins a man’s voice picks half way through a sentence “…here gorgeous.”

The person in front of the camera, probably a phone Anthony thinks, eyes intent on the screen walks forward. It’s a she, in a black and white Newcastle strip with Gordon and number 10 on the back.

All the blood from his brain to his fingertips goes straight to Anthony’s cock. The woman has red hair and the shirt must be a kids size or cut off because it’s sitting above her naked backside. It’s a great backside, and Anthony knows it from memory and touch.

Her ass sways as she walks forward. She pauses for a moment and moves to the side. The angle of the phone shows someone laying on the bed, leg’s bent at the knee and he’s stroking his cock. His face isn’t visible.

Anthony scrambles his clothes off, eyes fixed on his phone, he’s not going to wank off on the three lions on his first day at St George’s.

The woman puts her hands up to pulls her her hair out of the way, to show off his name and the line of her neck and she lets her hair tumble out of her fingers.

It brushes the O and R of his name. Her movement pulls the shirt higher up and her ass is sort of glistening, she teases taking the shirt off, inching it up her side, turning her hip to the camera showing off the curve of her stomach, but with her chin tilted up so her face can’t be seen.

It’s dragged up her side slow, showing the bottom of her breast and the silky looking white skin of her side. Anthony sucks his lips in, bitting them closed, breathing harder through his nose, jerking himself off hard. He spits down on his fingers to make the glide of his hand smoother.

“Leave it on.” The man on the bed says and the red haired woman drops the shirt down. Anthony isn’t sure if it’s his hand in his cock or the other man’s making the slick dirty sounds but he wonders for a moment if he can turn the sound up but decides against it. There are a couple of rooms past his on this floor.

The woman puts one knee on the bed, her red hair hitting the top of her shoulders, and Anthony chokes down a moan, one knee on the bed and her wet pussy with a few brown curls is showing, slick and ready for someone’s mouth or cock, but it also shows off the green jewel from the plug in her ass.

Anthony can feel his mouth drop open as she crawls slowly up the bed, legs spread to show how wet and ready she is.

The other man shuffles down the bed a little and Anthony can see his cock where it slides into the redhead’s pussy. There is the wet soft sound of them kissing. Then she sits up a little to rock back and forward slowly. One of the man’s hands, with a hint of tattoos at the wrist, reaches around to tug the plug slowly out of her ass. When he pushes it back in Anthony’s number twists on her as she arches her back, sending her hair tumbling around his name as she moans low and dirty.

“You need someone else here to fill you up.” The man says and she agrees high and breathy, still shifting backwards and forwards as the plug is worked on and out of her ass slowly.

The video ends and Anthony scrolls back to her crawling in the bed, his name picked out in red, her wet cunt and the shiny lube on her bum where the plug has been worked into her.

He watches her walk in her knees to the waiting man two more times before he’s coming over his fist and gasping in the empty room.

“Fuuuuuck.” Anthony lays back for a minute quickly checking the time and stumbling off to wash his hands.

In the elevator to meet for dinner he sends a message back to Kieran. “I’ll thank C in person.” He wants to send an emoji of a tongue but he can’t guarantee Cole won’t snoop on his phone again. He has no luck putting the video out of his mind at dinner. But it’s all right if he’s quiet he’s the new guy here.

[heart-walker-600-blog]

I can totally imagine Cole going on Master Chef (or MC: Junior) and getting the shiz roasted out of him, as well as being a complete dingbat.

WARNING: CRINGY READ AT YOUR OWN RISK (my sis and I came up with this)

{Situation}

Cole: *Pulls 50 lbs weight out of his pocket and just puts it in the oven on high. Gordon Ramsey doesn’t notice and Cole just stands there, possibly contemplating his life choices then gets yelled at cuz of course.*

GR: WHAT THE HE|| ARE YOU DOING?! STANDING AROUND?! GET OFF YOUR A$$!!!

Cole: *Looks at him and walks away to get a plate. Then puts the plate down and the timer goes off. He puts on some stupid pink oven mits and pulls it out, putting the weight on the plate, charred and black. Then the plate breaks into pieces under the weight of the, uh, weight and Gordon Ramsey just facepalms.*

[At the end of the time/Presentation]

Cole: *Brings the weight up to the presentation counter in one hand, the smashed plate in the other and just puts the weight down on the table and crunches the plate shards in his hand, sprinkling them on top.* Enjoy.

GR: WHAT THE FYCC IS THIS?!?!

Cole: Its my specialty dish. And besides, I assumed you could eat this since your basically the living embodiment of Satan himself.

GR: FYCC OFF!! *Throws the weight through the wall and it smashes through the entire building before hitting Jay in the face and they hear him scream in his girly voice.*

Jay: COLEEEE!!!!

Cole: *Holds out his arm and the weight returns to him Mjolnir style and he just curls the weight.*

GR: GET TE FYCC OUTTA HERE!!!

Me: *laughing hysterically* This is stupid. How did I come up with this?!?!

[aiweirdness]

The neural network will name your next band

An important part of starting a new band is choosing an appropriate name. It is crucial that the name be unique, or you could risk at best confusion, and at worst an expensive lawsuit.

The neural network is here to help.

Prof. Mark Riedl of Georgia Tech, who recently provided the world a dataset of all the stories with plot summaries on Wikipedia, (enabling this post on neural net story names) now used his Wikipedia-extraction skills to produce a list of all the bands with listed discographies - about 84,000 in all.

I gave the list to the Char-rnn neural network framework, and it was soon producing unique band names for a variety of genres. Below are examples of its output at various temperature (i.e. creativity) settings.

Temperature 1.1

This is about as high as the creativity setting can go before most of the band names are unpronounceable jumbles. These are some fine band names, highly suitable for whatever the heck their genres are supposed to be.

Spice Green Robinson Gloome Schronnana Boofpas The Freights Nighty Daggers The Loveburners of Internal Watch Foxettes Ratimot Secret singer band The Dougloco The Theps Choconard Leach Rhoudemsquat Terrerssky? Flemz Mighty Chipping Baker Bop Gray (band)

Temperature 1.0

With the creativity turned down a bit, the band names are still weird, but a bit more plausible. Their genres can sometimes be identified.

For example, I think these are probably traditional Irish bands?

The Durks of Audun Green Sherry of Shinking Feavan The Shurping Laudst

And these might work as metal bands:

Rabidass (band) Killerlet (musician) Brokin's Killer Flish Lipe Supervillin Girl Dead

These are perhaps a bit less scrutable.

Dr Overhard The Arce (band) The Tree Misters Reilling Ef (rapper) Flim Brothers Ching Mage Nan Edwards (folk singer) Nittle Bizzy The Dinlakoposseps Skins of Space Michael Porker The Lost singers The Nutlet Band The Rogue Orchestra The Fuman.A.I.((band) Vervoly Brown (urtist) Boohalloid (group) The Ballening Birds Lice Stepley

Temperature 0.9

With the creativity turned down a notch further, the band names become even more plausible. You could probably convince me that these exist.

No Andrew Newson Fuzion (band) The Wurfywinders Clay Fights Berry Stitcher Something Rothers The Awl The Thingsons Switch's Rich Lug Pond Billy The Hums (band) Northern Prince (Indian band) Staff Killer

Temperature 0.6

Turn the creativity down another notch, and we start to edge toward the neural network’s idea of the most quintessential band names. Note that they’re still pretty weird.

Dub Arts Sheet Rose Heart Coil Elliot Horse Big Love The Mothers (band) The Time Stars Hulls of Girls Sucken (band) Electric Sing Show The Pans Symphony No. 3 (Dinish band) Hell Staple (band) Peter Parker Bad Head The Out Cookers Flower Shankar The Hat Coles

Temperature 0.3

Now at a creativity setting of only 0.3, almost all the band names are variations on “The [Noun]”.

The Shines The Deaths The Dance (band) The Livers (band) The Stone Choir The Shake Man (band)

Another strange thing happens, which is that the proportion of sharks goes way, way up. Apparently the neural network thinks that if you’re going to name a band, you can’t go wrong with sharks.

Johnny Shark The Shark Charles Shark Rander The Shark (band) Nicole Shark Shark Gordon Shark Taylor (musician) The Shark Singers Tony Shark

Temperature 0.01

And now we come to the lowest temperature setting, where the neural network’s output consists of the most-quintessential band name, repeated over and over. Throughout most of the training process, this name was “The Stars” and occasionally “The Brothers”, but there was one generation where the neural network repeatedly insisted that there was nothing… nothing more fundamental to music than the banjo-playing skills of:

Steve Martin (musician) Steve Martin (musician) Steve Martin (musician) Steve Martin (musician) Steve Martin (musician) Steve Martin (musician) Steve Martin (musician) Steve Martin (musician)

[wavenetinfo]

Subscribe to A Twin Peaks Podcast: A Podcast About Twin Peaks �� on iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts – to unwrap the mysteries in EW’s after-show every Monday during the Showtime revival.

“Who’s Dale Cooper? Who’s Laura Palmer?” Beverly Paige might live in Twin Peaks, but somehow she’s never heard of the two most famous characters in the Twin Peaks mythology. For anyone frustrated with the Dougie-centric pace of the last few episodes, Part 7 must have felt like a return to some extremely relative form of “normalcy.” We saw some more familiar faces, experienced serious momentum in this season’s various mysteries, and even received a full mid-episode recap of the season 2 finale (thanks Hawk!) My podcasting buddy Jeff Jensen’s full recap will be live in the morning, but for now, here’s the key points from Part 7.

Laura Palmer’s Diary Strikes Again! Like me and every other dimestore Peaks scholar had theorized, Hawk discovered a few missing pages of Laura Palmer’s diary. Those pages contained a message familiar to anyone who has seen Fire Walk With Me: “The good Dale is in the lodge and can’t leave.” Sheriff Truman continued Hawk’s investigation by speaking to the two men who saw Dale Cooper after he left the Black Lodge. One man was unavailable – and given Sheriff Frank’s dark response to his phone call with brother Harry, we can assume our beloved original Sheriff Truman’s health problems have only gotten worse.

So Sheriff F. Truman called the other man who met the Bad Dale: Doc Hayward, played via Skype by the late Warren Frost (to whom this episode was dedicated.) Doc Hayward told an eerie story from that night long ago. Dirty Cooper was last seen leaving the hospital…apparently after visiting a comatose Audrey Horne.

The Bad Dale and the Good Diane. What did Dirty Cooper do to Audrey? The possibilities are horrific. We checked in on Dale’s dark doppelganger, who received a visit from an old friend. It’s clear that Diane didn’t want to see Dale, but Gordon Cole convinced her to take a plane flight to Yankton. On that flight, we received photographic evidence that Dirty Cooper spent at least part of the last 25 years living like a bad guy from the early Fast & Furious movies.

Face to face with Dirty Cooper, hard-edged Diane appeared horrified. She asked him if he remembered their last meeting – at Diane’s house. Diane saw something terrifying in this man, who remained eerily still throughout their conversation. “That is not the Dale Cooper I knew,” Diane assured Gordon.

Something to ponder: Was Diane visited by Dirty Cooper? Or: Was this “last meeting” something that took place between Diane and Dale before he went to Twin Peaks? (Probably not) (Who knows) (I bet Jensen knows) (We’ll discuss it in the podcast this week!)

Gordon told Warden Murphy to keep The Man Who Isn’t Dale locked up. But Dirty Cooper knows all about Mr. Strawberry and some other old skulduggery perpetrated by the Warden. By episode’s end, Dirty Cooper was free, with his accomplice Ray, driving into the night.

You’ve Lost Your Head, Major! Lieutenant Knox arrived in Buckhorn to help our beloved Buckhorn PD with what we have to assume is the single weirdest crime they have ever investigated. Knox was stunned to discover that Major Briggs’ fingerprints came from Major Briggs himself. Alas, that is Garland Briggs’ headless body – a body that is eerily unaged in the last quarter-century. Did Major Briggs spend some time in some far-flung dimension outside time? Did Dirty Cooper have his body on deep freeze this whole time? And who was that strange charred figure, last seen in a Buchorn prison cell, now walking the halls of the police department?

This is all too depressing to ponder. Alas, Poor Major! Here’s a picture of the greatest character in TV history on some unknown throne in some Edenic shadow of a galaxy beyond galaxies.

The Reborn Identity. The police visited Dougie, scaring away his crooked colleague Anthony. (The three policemen were all members of the same family, apparently. They were the Fusco Brothers? Which is also a comic strip? Question mark?) Fortunately, Dougie was flanked by Janey-E and Bushnell Mullins, and he withstood the cops’ questioning. The Joneses were setting off back home, when they were attacked by assassin Ike. Dougie/Dale went full Jason Bourne, recalling long-lost FBI-guy moves. (He was helped by a little talking tree – maybe the Arm, maybe the Arm’s doppelganger.)

Meanwhile, Back At Twin Peaks… Ben Horne and Beverly tried to find the source of a strange humming that has filled the walls of the Great Northern. Maybe that humming has something to do with a recently-arrived key from back when hotels still had keys: Room 315, where Agent Cooper was shot long ago. (Or maybe it’s poor Josie Packard, still trapped somewhere in the wood.) Ben and Beverly seemed on the edge of flirting – a fact that would certainly make Beverly’s ill husband Tom feel even sadder than he already does.

Meanwhile, at the Roadhouse, the Renault family’s history of northwest criminality continues. Jean Michel received a phone call about a couple fifteen year old straight A students, apparently employed in the world’s oldest profession.

And Deputy Andy investigated a local man, who had a very familiar-looking truck. Andy had questions about the truck, but the man begged him to meet later – at 4:30. (“Remember,” the Giant said way back in Part 1, “Four Three Zero.”) Later, Andy hung out nearby Sparkwood and 21, a location with momentous history in Twin Peaks. The man didn’t arrive — we saw his door, open. But also, the biggest mystery of the episode: ANDY HAS A ROLEX????

MVP of the Week: Sheriff Frank Truman’s computer.

MAKE SURE TO CHECK BACK TOMORROW FOR JEFF JENSEN’S FULL RECAP OF PART 7. AND SUBSCRIBE TO A TWIN PEAKS PODCAST: A PODCAST ABOUT TWIN PEAKS FOR MORE OF EW’S TWIN PEAKSCOVERAGE!

19 June 2017 | 2:00 am

EW Staff

Source : Entertainment Weekly

>>>Click Here To View Original Press Release>>>

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