#changed my profile pic to remember why i'm here

[solemntitty]

my traitorous hand, after farming for venti, holding itself over the wish button for neuvillette banner: you could go for xingqui cons and see what happens

[airbendertendou]

CHERRY TiNTED! ♡ chifuyu matsuno

synopsis : timeskip!chifuyu learns something about you from the past... it changes things.

cw : non-sexual bathing together , mutual pining but theyre both DUMB

if you have a blank blog [no bio, no user, no header or profile pic, nothing reblogged, etc] do not interact with my content. you will be blocked.

"It's too bad," Hinata speaks as she picks at the frosting on her cake. Her lips poke out absentmindedly as she scoops a glob onto her fork. Takemichi tilts his head with a tap to her shoe — Hinata jumps, as if remembering he was with her. "That [Name] is leaving. That Chifuyu never felt the same. We became close friends and now..."

Takemichi blinks, memories that don't feel like his racing into his head. Flashes of you — a friend of a friend that Kazutora vouched for — and the pinkened, lovey-dovey eyes you always had set on Chifuyu popped into his mind. Along with the pining — from the other side, it seemed. "What do you mean?"

Hinata takes a sip of her drink. "[Name] never made a move because Chifuyu was always going on dates with other people. Took the hint, you know?”

"There was a chance," Takemichi blinks dumbly. Hinata sits up in her chair. leaning closer as her own eyes widen. "Chifuyu has a crush on [Name]. Always has."

The red-head sits frozen for a second before she sinks into her seat, closing her eyes in defeat. "What idiots."

——♡——

Bloody, bruised knuckles greet Takemichi when he comes back. He's panting and staring up at the sky, then at Chifuyu. The blond holds his hand out, pulling Takemichi up with a grunt. "All good?"

"Yeah," Takemichi breathes. His memories come back with a blink — past him decided to run his mouth again and couldn't put up a fight. "Thanks. Did I win?"

"Oh, yeah," Smiley pops up. His grin seems to widen — Takemichi thinks he's laughing at him. "Won big time. Always do."

Chifuyu clicks his tongue, looking away before slinging an arm around the timeleaper. "Let's get patched up. See you later!"

It's with alcohol stinging his cuts and a cold, pre-boiled egg on his eye that Takemichi remembers. There was a drink — your favorite that Chifuyu always brought home ; there was an ice cream — one that matched the color of your eyes.

You — he couldn't fight well, but maybe he could change your future. Make sure your heart is accepted ; your pining and Chifuyu's finished.

“Chifuyu.” Takemichi holds onto his shoulders. The blond blinks, eyes wide and confused. Michi sighs, “you have a chance with your roommate. You always have.”

He walks away, leaving Chifuyu confused. “Roommate…?” Something must’ve happened in the future, he thinks with a finger held to his chin. Chifuyu nods to himself, I’ll stop it!

——♡——

The shower is running when Chifuyu finishes getting ready. He waits on the spritz of his favorite cologne — he waits, for what, he's not sure. His shoes stay by the door — socks fresh on his feet as he runs a hand through his hair.

"[Name]?" He taps on the bathroom door softly with his knuckles. "I'm heading out now."

"Sure you don't want to join me first?"

It's something you always say — sly, flirty invites that he always denies. Chifuyu smirks, tugging on the sleeves of his shirt. Little did Chifuyu know, the sound of the shower muffled your sniffles and hiccups. He didn’t know then, but now—

Takemichi’s voice echoes in his head.

Turning on his heel, Chifuyu welcomes himself into the warm, steamy bathroom.

The curtain slides open, revealing you with your mouth agape, staring in shock. Chifuyu slots right under the shower, the water drenching him and his clothes. He lets out a sigh, cupping your cheek. “Why are you crying?”

“I’m not,” you deny. Your nose scrunches as you sniffle, “s’the water. Why are you in here with your clothes on?”

Reddened, lithe fingers shake as they unbutton the top he’s wearing, slinging it onto the bathroom floor with a plop! His pants and underwear go next — you avert your eyes quickly. Chifuyu chuckles, “why are you so shy now?”

“Didn’t think you’d actually get in here,” you mumble. Blinking as his hands latch onto your hips, you frown. “What about your date?”

Chifuyu doesn’t think as he says, “want you more.” He’s fighting the urge to bury himself into your neck and take a nibble — your body wash smells so good and you look divine.

“What?”

“[Name].” It’s said with a loud, exasperated laugh as Chifuyu’s head falls back. “Do I have to spell it out for you?” One hand shoots to your cheeks, gripping them softly as he connects your eyes. “I like you — so much. I want to share a room and go on grocery store dates and get so lovesick it’s annoying. Got it?”

Your eyes are wide and almost pink as you speak through puffed cheeks. “Got it.”

——♡——

something short nd silly to post!! thank you for reading ♡ if youd like to b tagged / untagged in any tokyorev content, let me know! ♡

🍓 TOKYOREV TAGLIST : @night-shadowblood-writes2 @chrofeisnightmaregf @natsumesakasakisupremacy @emperorsnero @hajimeseyo

airbendertendou © do not copy, plagiarize, repost, or translate my content on any platform. if you see my content under any other name than my own, let me know. i only have this tumblr and an ao3 account under the same name.

[bluebelly-sun-serpentine]

Hello! Some info about this blog:

COMMON TAGS:

#bluebellyphotos (original photo posts)

#bluebellytalks (text posts and reblog comments)

#flora (plant and landscape photos)

#fauna (animal photos)

#arthropods (bugs and friends)*

#invertebrates (includes slugs and bugs and other critters)*

#scenes from my father's garden (a little series)

#us politics and #usa politics for your blocklist

*For spiders I also give content and trigger warnings in the tags. You can block spider posts by blocking #cw spiders or #tw spiders. I try to be responsive to reasonable content warning requests so send me an ask if there's anything else you want me to add to my tags.

FAQ:

What camera and lenses do you use?

I use a Sony A7Riv (a mirrorless digital camera) and most often I am using a 35mm prime lens (the FE 1.4/35 GM) or the less fancy but still serviceable 85mm prime (FE 1.8/85). I bought them all used off KEH, which I really recommend for anyone in North America trying to spend less money on gear. The majority of the photos posted here were made using that camera body and one of those two lenses, although I do occasionally use converters and lenses from old analog SLRs. I don't post my film work to this blog, but if you want to know about analog cameras and film photography, shoot me an ask.

Where was this photo taken?

After deliberating for a long time, I made a decision to not share geolocative information with my photos unless I was making a larger text post about the area and its history. I remember the world before geotagging and instagram, and I have really mixed feelings about – on some level – reducing the landscapes and lifeways I cherish to their aesthetics. While I do trust most of you to treat the places you visit with care, I've also seen a lot of trampled superblooms and summit queues for that one perfect shot. So if I'm going to tell you where something is, I also want to include information about why that place is so special. Unfortunately, most of the time I am too tired to write something long enough to do the place justice.

How do you edit your photos? Do you use presets, and if so, which ones?

For years this has been my workflow: I import everything into Adobe Lightroom Classic, which I like for its organizational capacity more than anything else. I built my own presets, each for specific lighting conditions, weather conditions, and landscape types, which I apply as photos come in. Then I do a second pass and make adjustments on each photo. I may share preset packages at some point – I just have to get around to it. I delete a lot of work, because the Sony a7riv files are enormous. I export everything for tumblr at or below 2000 pixels on the long edge, so the file sizes you guys see are comparatively small (want a larger file for some reason? send me an ask). I do work with photoshop as well, but generally not for the photos I post to this blog. I have been considering moving everything over to Darktable, which is open source.

NEW FOLLOWERS:

I get a lot of bot followers. If your blog has a profile pic, a header image, and some text in your info section that was clearly written by a human I’m much less likely to accidentally block you. I don't need you to list identity information or post a picture of yourself (I am glad you protect your privacy). Even just changing your blog’s colors can help signal you are human to other tumblr users, but if you get blocked it's almost certainly because you looked like a bot and I was going through the motions of clearing them out. If I notice your blog posting AI content I will block you even if you appear to be human and friendly. My only real aim with bluebelly-sun-serpentine is to encourage us all to pay attention to the world around us and to celebrate what that attention can do to connect us to all kinds of life, and I feel like ai is just kind antithetical to that, so I do my best to keep it off my dash.

[therentyoupay]

Hey kris! I’ve followed you for a long long time now and am so happy to see you doing your thing and active on tumblr rn. I was really really active a couple months ago and am now on here when time permits. Seeing you pop up on my dash again made me realize I don’t think you’ve ever changed your profile pic since like idk 2012 when I started following you. is there any significance behind the and symbol? I hope you’re enjoying the beginnings of fall ☺️☺️

HELLO, NONNY. 😭🙏💕💕 thank you so much for your lovely lovely message!!! i'm also so sorry that you sent this three days ago when i have actually been super absent from tumblr for the past week or so due to ✨life obligations✨🤣😭🤣!! you and i are in the same boat! super active on tumblr when we can be; otherwise.... we swing by, when life allows. 🤣

thank you so much for your question! you are correct!! 🤣 i started writing fic at age 11 on FFNET through another penname (bonus points if anyone here actually remembers what it used to be, 2001–2011 👀?) and it was a really big deal when i decided to ✨rebrand✨ after ten years! the rebrand to therentyoupay started in december 2011 (long story short: a reviewer left such a nice comment on my FFNET dramione story that it kickstarted me into actually continuing it! comments matter!!) and at the time, ampersands (&) were all the rage, and i was definitely one of the basic bitches obsessed with them. 🤣 (no millennial-"&" tattoo but i did consider it lmao. maybe I'll still get one, one day, so y'all can try to identify me in The Wild lmao.) therentyoupay is from one of my favorite quotes. 🥹🥹🥹💕💕 (does anyone know? 🤣)

so, that following summer in 2012, lok came out and i was lured into making a tumblr! unsurprisingly, my avatar/icon slid over from FFNET/ao3 into tumblr, as did my penname, and i will likely keep it for the rest of my life 🤣 therentyoupay/kris(which isn't my real name👀)/TRYP have now all been associated with this account and my fics for so long that it would cause great confusion and, quite probably, losses in the community i've built over the years!! so TRYP i shall remain forever 🤣

i also personally get so confused when long-term friends on tumblr change their icons and URLs... it's like i no longer recognize them! i have a spreadsheet with everyone's URLs over the years, their names, etc., so i can keep track... but i was also off tumblr for three years during the pandemic 😅😅😅 so i have lost track of a lot of people 🥹 that's why i always really appreciate when people leave a note in their profiles/pinned posts about their previous URLs and a name to call them by! (whether it's a fake name or not lol) otherwise i don't have a name for them–they're just their URL lol, and their "face" is just their icon. 🤣

and yes, i totally am!! 🍁🍂🍃🍁🍂🍃🍁🍂🍃 i'm feeling so lucky and so grateful for all the amazing things happening in my life right now 😭🙏 if only 2012!kris had any idea what was in store for her.... 🤣💕💕💕

LOVE YOU, NONNY. TAKE CARE AND HAVE AN AMAZING REST OF YOUR WEEK. 💕💕💕💕🙏🙏🙏🥹🥹🥹🥹💕💕💕 thank you so much for this beautiful ask!

[cidthesquid]

How the npc's helped me irl - Style Savvy : Styling Star! (bonus post)

[Previous Post]              [First Post]              [Next Post]

Alright, so right off the bat, This is going to get a little personal, And because of that, this is not 'Style Savvy : Styling Star Post #2', That will come later, so feel free to skip this, or just check out the pics

I believe I've mentioned a few times in the past, how much I enjoy the fun and quirky NPCs in the style savvy series, In most fashion games, customers are just basically 'orders' to fill, No personality, no drive, and once you help them they're gone forever But in style savvy these are portrayed as individual characters.

While I'm not going to argue that these characters are super realistic, or even all that fleshed out, the fact that they put effort into making them all distinct, often with reasons for 'why' they're coming from the shop, This made it feel like offering a suggestion for a friend, rather than just blindly generating outfits. And seeing them again was always fun, even if I did not remember what they were up to last time.

And with each new entry, the community aspect grew! And with the 3rd entry (Fashion Forward) character profiles were more fleshed out, with their jobs and hobbies. You could also explore your town to meet new customers and chat with old, and some would even invite you to events outside of town, wearing the outfit you made! And I don't think I ever fully appreciated just how much this adds to the experience.

I already talked about this a bit in my Fashion Forward recap, The game's environment felt like a 'safe' play for me to experiment with fashion, without having to worry about my choices effecting others, or being judged for it. It may sound like a bit of a silly concept for some, And I've already discussed the idea of how I though others could perceive a guy being into fashion games. (creepy/controlling) And how playing around in a closed-off environment, let me experience a version of fashion were actively helping people But I don't really think I touched as much on a different idea I was struggling with at the time, Mainly some of the other 'more negative' aspects related to fashion, that I could be (unintentionally) contributing too.

I don't really know how much detail I want to get into, As I'm sure it's a sensitive subject for some, And I don't think Style Savvy is doing anything wrong. But growing up around family members with strong opinions on how women have been portrayed in art and various media. I have become painfully aware that some people are (rightfully so) disappointed when they see only one body type presented, when makeup and fancy clothing as described as a required way to make someone 'beautiful', and people often remark that some people are "more attractive than others". And while I do agree that there are a ton of problems, and I can see how these things could put unrealistic expectations on women, I think the way these ideas were presented to me was a bit unhealthy. Even to this day, (at 30+yrs old) I've literally never complimented anyone's appearance or attire, out of fear, that that would infer that I care more about how they look, than about them as a person. I would never try to claim that I'm the real victim here, or anything, but the way they presented it was less of a "The world needs to change", idea and more of "Being attracted to women in any way is objectification" kinda deal. And now I'm starting to learn that maybe that's not really helpful either.

And this caused a conflict when I first started with Fashion games, I was never really taught how to handle feeling on other's appearance, Just given tons of examples of how others have done it wrong, And since I did not know anyone with any interest in fashion, the only reasoning I was ever given for why some people dress different was "Oh they just want attention!", or "They feel they have to dress that way because that's what men expect", The idea of clothing as a form of self-expressions was not even a possibility. And that's one of the reasons I felt so guilty about messing around with fashion in games. I'd be perpetuating a 'bad situation' and objectification.

And ofcourse now I know that's, not exactly how things work, But back then I only really felt okay with starting Style Savvy, as I thought of it as a *"loophole"*, I'd just be selling clothes to people specifically based on what they asked for. But in the early days it still felt a bit weird, and I'd feel a little guilty whenever I though, "wow that looks really good on them", even if it was as simple an outfit's color/style that really complemented their skin tone or makeup, I felt that i was not allowed to feel that way. But over time, talking with customers, I started to learn that they actually enjoyed dressing up, and had actual reasoning behind their outfit choices, even if it's as simple as "I wanted to try something new!"

So I was starting to learn that while, yes, people's fashion choices can be influenced by other (external) factors. Possibly someone just wants to look Cute, Cool, or even flashy! There were even examples of people asking for clothes to actually help change their mood. It took a while to internalize the idea, but that combined with the "I'm helping" idea helped me push forward. And in Style Savvy, all the messy real-world politic around fashion did not exist, So I could just enjoy making outfits and helping people look how they wanted. Free of any external influences.

However, this still left the idea of 'objectification', This is not really a topic I feel I'm qualified to talk about in detail, But the remaining through process was still related to aspects of that, even though I was playing a game targeted toward women, by me making outfits I though looked nice, Or making choices for my own or other characters in terms of makeup and hairstyles, was me deciding how to make them more attractive And somehow "enforcing my own standards of beauty on them", After all, who was I to say they did not look good already?

And this idea took the longest to deal with, as in, I just put the final touches on starting to deal with it, this morning. Again, we're dealing with video game characters here, not real people, But this did not really ease my tension, as it felt like I'd still be in the same negative mindset. And I really don't want it to sound like I'm telling anyone else, how to think or feel! (feel free to disagree in the comments, I read all of them) I've spent a ton of time online researching the topic, speaking with you guys in the comments, and hearing some VERY strong opinions online, the final idea I came up with was 'focus', and mostly 'Intent',

What's the intent of the work, and what's being focused on. With style savvy, and it's well flesh out NPC's you're helping people express themselves, and I enjoyed doing that, I listen to their stories, and aided them the best I could. And I actually enjoyed doing that, even though they were virtual, I was treating them like real people. (That's not to say everyone needs to do this, But that's how I felt most comofrtable when getting started.) I enjoyed walking around the town, and was happy seeing them in outfits i picked out for them, upon reflection I can see that I actually enjoyed the procedural aspect of putting an outfit together, and seeing them try it on and happy accept it. Same for hairstyles and makeup, when working on them, I did not honestly think, "Ok how can I fix this person", it was more, "how can I bring out the X look they're going for?"

And when making my final trendsetter's gallery, I looked through my screenshots and saw just how many outfits I'd made over my time with the game, I began to see that even in this 'E' rated Nintendo published game, I just purely enjoyed the act of making outfits. It's crazy how long it took me to understand that! If the main goal was not treating people like objects, then in a way I had already been proving to myself that I'm capable of that. So turns out it was possible for me to like how someone looks and still care about them. they're not mutually exclusive. There are of 'Fan Service' game out there that don't have much to go on other than how the character looks, Little to no thoughts towards giving them a personality, or even decent gameplay, Instead just focusing on simply showing off parts of a character, without any other real intent than 'eye candy' I'm Not saying this type of game is 100% 'bad', And I have tried a few, but 'showing off' a character is diffrent than what's happening here. With Style Savvy the 'intent' is just having fun with fashion, and it focuses on multiple different aspects of that. And things that's what really what got me to stick with the series, It was not simply about cute characters in cute outfits. The focus is clearly on the character as a whole, rather than indiculal parts,and how changing aspects of their outfit change the image they present. And positive intent is also show in how you're not trying to *"Fix People"* or *"Make them beautiful", it's framed more in a way of helping them express what their already feeling, or try something new! And for my own character, it's pure self-expression, whatever I think looks good, as it's not being pushed on anyone else real or digital.

There's still things left for me to figure out in terms of how I deal with how I think about fashion. (Including internalizing this new line I've come up with) Again, this is me not saying "I've solved the idea of caring about people vs how they look", just that in some (even small) part , apperaince is not the only thing that matters too me! And now I have my own (personal) way to mesure that! I'm not really sure if this story will really help anyone else, as it's pretty tied to how my specific brain works. (I'm also not really sure if this is the healitiest path to acceptance :-/ ) But the realization finally clears up a long-standing issue I've been dealing with, (even if it's only one small slice), and it's a HUGE relief knowing I have a way to explain it to myself, and start fighting back! I'll be the first to admit, my situation is by no means perfect, and there's still a ton I need to figure out on the IRL side, including figuring out my potential contributions to the negative systems at play. But at the same time, maybe my negtives don't define who I am. Anyways, I think I'm on a positive path, and style savvy's fashion sandbox continues to be helpful with figuring things out!

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-Thanks for reading! This one was kinda embarrisng to write out But I hope reading it provided some form of insight or benifit. (Click here for Post #2)

As always, all comments, questions, and suggestions are welcome!

You literally can't bother me, (unless you go out of your way to be a jerk), so post whatever you need to say!

[mr-shrimp]

It's September now, and I wanted to write about r*ssian schools, and I even had a draft about it, but I deleted it accidentally :(

Btw it's not a big deal, so enjoy this bullshit from typical r*ssian student <3

I want to do this bc I'm pretty tired of this, and I just want others to know that.

This post gonna be smth like QA format, bc it is a lot of easier to write ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Russian school core(I guess). Let's go!

First things first. How long do you need to study?

-> Well, if we talk about ordinary school, then you can study 9 years or 11 years(this is optional). In year it's 9 months for studying and 3 for rest(nice joke). After 9th grade you can go to the high school or go to the college and then to university as well. After 11th grade you can go right to university(but here is option to go to college after 11th grade). In university system is not different from European with Bachelor degree, but as I know in this year or maybe in the next one they want to remove this and make only specialty degree. It sucks bc your specialty diploma will be invalid in countries with Bachelor degree. And with specialty degree you need to study about 5-6 years.

How old must be child?

-> In most of the cases it is like 6-7 y.o. Some schools have pre-school studying, here children are about 5 years. In the end of your execution in school you may be like 15-16(9th grade) or 17-18(11th grade)

Does children also have such a fucked lessons table?

-> Nah, they have like 3-5 lessons about 35-40 mins. First 4 grades are such a relax, hah

What about exams?

-> in the end of the 4th year you need to pass two exams(as I remember): rssian language and math. In the end of 9th grade you need to pass 4 exams: rssian, math and two optional disciplines. And in the end of the 11th grade you need to pass at least 3 exams: rssian, math(base or profile), and 1-5 optional. Maybe now max number of optional exams has changed, but I don't care.

Which exams did you choose?

-> I gonna write biology and chemistry in any way, bruh. Maybe sociology, too, bc I also into law(not new laws they are bullshit) and this kind of thing. Or maybe I should be a designer, I like money and I like to draw:) my doodles pretty cute hah

What about rest? Holidays? Weekends?

-> Okay, this is pretty interesting. In most of moscow schools we have 5-1 system, which means 5 weeks of studying and 1 week of holidays. Also, we have a lot of holidays for all country such as new year holidays or may 1st and may 9th. It is really a lot of holidays in r*ssia, tho. Although I said it is 3 month of holidays, but for real you need to study and here. Why? It's pretty complicated. You need to read a lot of books, you need to practice all disciplines, you need to prepare to your exams and smth like this, bc if you not gonna do it... well, it would be sad. Weekends don't exist in rssia you just sleep. Really, you tired as fuck after this weekly five-day-in-a-row executing. And you even need to do your homework, but all that you can is sleeping.

What about study program?

-> It's hard. Really. I'm at the last grade, and this is my lessons for every week(in two versions, look at pics below). And if you want to know, math in r*ssian schools is like math in a lot of math universities in America or England or any of European countries. And it is not about math only, it is about all disciplines. Like, in 10th grade we learning about sinuses and logarithms(fckng bllsht)

-> In mscow schools we have special programs like medicine class(here I am), IT-class and more more others(Pic below, translate it by yourself). They call it "project classes". And for every project class it is its own main disciplines. For example, in medicine class it is chemistry and biology, but they added prof math for some hecking reason and I hate this shit, but BTW.

-> As for daily classes table, this is really tough. We starting at 8:15 a.m. and ending at 3 p.m. or even at 4:40 p.m. This is NOT optional. You must go for all classes even if you don't need physics or prof math. You just MUST. We have lessons every for 40 mins and breaks for 20 mins. And no, we haven't any special long break for eating. If you late to your classes you gonna be scolded, bc "why can't you eat faster???". Oh well, maybe because I just can't hah? Anyway you need to go from cabinet to another cabinet and try to eat if you want. And the most absurd that we have special breaks for eating, but they also lasts 20 minutes.

-> As for holiday, you can't relax either, bc this is a lot of homework. For example, my friend(from IT-class) in last year had about 400 mathematical equations to solve for homework for 1 week. Wild, isn't it? Ofcourse not all teachs like that, but anyway. Our literature teach said to write essay about 400-500 words(okay ngl she like to make us write it even if it not holidays).

What about food?

-> Oh yeah cockroach it my oatmeal and juice with water, love it. Not gonna lie, we really have cockroachs in our dining room at school. And I guess teachs like "well until cockroachs not fall from ceiling to children food it's alright"(no, it's not). I really like to eat, even if it just an apple, I like food, and food at school is really bad. You have a choice: first to not eat, second to eat at dining room, and third to bring your homemade food. In any case you don't have time for really enjoy the food :(

What about "ins" of school?

-> in mscow schools pretty okay, in my school we even have green room with a lot of plants, we call it "winter garden". Cabinets are okay, but light is bad like they older then me. But in other regions it like very old house that may fall at every second. And some of them don't have bathrooms. I didn't joke. Or it is a toilet like a.. erm.. hole in floor? Yea, something like this I guess. And some regions(villages, for example) don't have schools.

-> As for lessons, it is just very strict teachs and really hard program. Okay, let's talk about "conversation about important things". As you all know in 2022 rssia started a w*r with Ukraine, and from this moment in all schools started this shit. In short this is something like patriotic lessons where they just lie to you how good our country is and how good that we live here and how bad another world is. Well, smth like this was at ussr time, too, as i remember this right. But you know, this lessons are necessary even if they don't have marks for it. You just need to know that all people in the world are bad and only rssia are innocent and saint(/sarc). Fucking bullshit.

What about project classes?

-> Well, Idk for other classes, but in medicine class we have pretty hard program. You need to know all chemistry and biology, make an individual project, go to medicine college(uh um hello I go to high school bc I don't want to go to college guys what's wrong with u), go to lessons in university like RUDN, Pirogov RNRMU(rssian national research medicine university) and etc. And this is all after your ordinary classes, ofcourse :)

And what about college?

-> Nothing special, we just were riding the subway there 1 hour, then studied for 3 or 4 hours at college and were riding the subway back for 1 hour. And for sure it sucks, bc I returned home at 9 p.m.(or even 10 p.m.) every Monday. And our teach said that we were lucky bc they could make our college classes at Saturday. And in the end we can get our diplomas in the end of the 11th grade. Why? For what? Idk.

What about program? You always say this is hard, but why?

-> So, biology(molecular, botanic, anatomy, ALL biology), organic chemistry, prof math, probability theory, physics and more other. All this university level. And a lot of home work after which you don't even have strength for yourself.

What about attitude towards mental health? And health as well?

-I have diagnosed severe depression and I'm still studying full-time education program. No one cares if you can stand, even if you have a fewer. But at least tech can send you to nurse or back to home. In rssian schools no one really cares about your mental health, your pronounces and other individual things. Well not all teachers stop bulling towards kids, and some of them are bullies themselves. I think that's enough to understand this.

Well, that's all, I guess. It is really a lot of issues that I didn't say. Please repost or reblog as much as possible. As for living in rssia it is like, you know, living in "1984", just read latest news and new laws in 2022-2024 period and add to this w*r with innocent country.

And stay safe all of you♡

Yes somewhen I make this rq please don't beat me :(

[puptoy]

Milk Management Day 2 <3

responding to your texts from this morning!

That's a very nice mental image, having your head squeezed between my thighs while you serve my cunt and big, drippy tentacle cock. You know I'd make you suck it too, right? Lick and drool over every little suction cup, worship your mistress.

(Got it! I know you like comparisons. It's 8 inches long, so I have you beat there. Thinking about an rp where I'm an alien broodmother / queen and I've got you as my pet drone... I have to get you ready to breed and well-trained by having you lick pheromones off of my cunt and my "stamen" (or whatever it's called in alien-talk) so that you're prepared to put a litter in me <3 Could also include having you drink my saliva. So I'm still training you as a stud/drone, but I have an excuse to make you lick me lots. Could incorporate some dumbification / mind control elements with this, where the more your body changes and prepares to breed me, the more you feel biologically compelled to obey the queen...)

The pictures you sent me were very cute and desperate. You love being told what to do, don't you? It reminds me of a dog who keeps bringing his owner toys, trying to get some playtime. You're so needy for attention. Only two days of saving up your cum and you're already such an attention whore!

I think it's hot that my clit is bigger than you'd think, too. You've seen the diagrams, haven't you? It has a whole internal structure, and about 10,000 nerve endings! (About double of what you have in your big dumb dick.) My orgasms are for my pleasure, and I can cum as much as I want without interfering with my ability to have sex or conceive. In fact, it makes it easier! On the other hand, your orgasms are for service. If you waste them touching yourself, you'll start shooting blanks. Doesn't it seem lke that means your supply is limited? That's why you're being managed, sweetheart.

Ranking your dick pics:

The one in side profile. If you cut your messy hair back, it'd be even easier to see how long you are. It looks bigger than normal, even. Taut and hard. You must be really desperate. The curves are graceful and I want to lick that vein. Your body looks hot, too-- I can see some of your abdomen and thigh. Boys need to remember that a good cock pic isn't just about having a big dick, it's about the rest of your body, the angles, and making a pleasing composition! 10/10

The one where your cock is pointing up and I can see your slutty little waist and thighs, showing off the pink spots from when you punished yourself. I like this one because you're being so obedient. Showing me you can follow orders. And I like that you're hard because I punished you. But something about the foreshortening of your dick means it doesn't look as big as it does in #1.... 9.5/10

The one where you're still half-hard. I like that I can see a spot from when I punished you, and I love seeing that drip of precum sliding down from the tip of your foreskin. This one shows me that you stopped touching when I said so. Good boy! I want to work my tongue under your foreskin and suck off all the pre, make you shiver and whine 'cause it's too sensitive. 9/10

The one of you in your underwear with that spot of pee. It's cute that you pissed yourself a little after just one day of orgasm control. It's really pathetic! You couldn't even control that by yourself. You're so lucky you have a smart owner to decide things for you. 8/10

The one looking down, showing your pants around your ankles. I just think your half-soft cock looks cute here. It's nice and swollen but it's hanging down, not getting any attention! Are those drips on the floor your precum, or did you spill your piss, dummy? 7/10

The one that looks like #2, but your cock isn't pointing up as much. You hadn't punished yourself enough yet! And your dick doesn't look as big. Plus I can see a bit of the toilet in the background. Careless, not as good as the other version, but it's still cute seeing you try to punish yourself for me. 6/10

The one where you're comparing the tip of your cock to the red spot you pinched on your thigh for me. Nice and obedient, but not very artfully framed. Did you mean to include the piss in the toilet? Flush, dummy! It's so funny when boys send dick pics with their rooms all messy in the background. This is the kind of thing girls will show to their friends to laugh at, y'know. 4/10

Getting more into the "laughing in the group chat" section of things... you sent me three pictures where you couldn't get your whole dick in the frame! It's just your pubes and shaft hanging down, maybe half of the tip getting cut off by the bottom edge. "Circumcision by camera," maybe? This is silly. Put in some effort if you want my attention that bad. It's kind of hot that you couldn't fit the whole thing on the frame, but then again... framing is photography 101. Very poor composition. The only reason these three aren't scoring last place is because there's two that are even worse! 3/10

The one looking straight down, with your shirt lying on the floor. Yes, sure, you're long. But there's nothing to compare it with, careless hand placement, looking straight down... No art to the posing here. It's not enough to just have a decently sized dick and act like you're God's gift to women. 2/10

You accidentally photographed your nuts with no cock. I can see a toilet lid between your legs. Did you take this photo on accident? Fail. I'm only giving you one point because I think it's funny. 1/10

<3

[babyppsthoughs]

Lacey Cat (2024) #1

Where do I start?

I have lost count but I think it’s been over a year since I’ve last dressed up. Many reasons for my loooong break, so let’s just leave that for now and talk about why I did it again instead.

I suppose the main reason, at least that’s what I told myself, is that I had been losing weight. I am now lighter than I used to be back in Hong Kong. Regardless of the reasons or if it’s a health issue, I just thought I might as well take advantage of it.

I felt like my tummy is now flatter. It was one of the parts I was unhappy about, but frankly, the list of the flaws on my body is so long anyway, I could always find reasons to stop myself from showing any skin if I wanted to. I guess I’m taking whatever little bonus or victory I’m given.

Secondly, I had been posting on redgifs for a few weeks now, just to scratch the itch a little. It was helpful that their interface is quite simple and I have some old short vids lying around. It sucks that there’s no comment feature, but I don’t suppose I would’ve gotten many anyway, I’m not even getting too many likes so far.

You need to get verified if you want to increase exposure, and verifying requires the same old "holding a paper with your url on it" photo. So yer, had to dress up to do that unless I wanted to show my guy face.

I did that during the session. But sadly, then I found that besides the pic, you also need to provide at least 1 link to your profile on one of the listed platforms, like onlyfans, manyvids, chaturbate, etc. I was kinda expecting that all those sites require real ID verification themselves, which I don’t plan to do. But, pornhub was also on the list, and I have a pornhub account, so I thought, that’ll do.

But the truth is, a user account on pornhub wouldn’t do. You’d need a creator account, which means real ID verification just like the other sites. So there you go, half of my reasons to dress up and take pics gone, together with my plan to get verified on redgifs.

Still, pics have been taken, videos shot, and I'm not gonna pretend that I didn't have plan to post them online anyway.

Now with that out of the way, let's talk about the session next time.

Edit: Changing and adding some pics as I remember that I should be including all the pics here. XD

Continue to Part 2:

[dumelax]

shit I can write before the title uh, anyways

THE BIG TUMBLR ADVENTURE

wha happen

Jesus it's a story. I created this account... god I don't remember when Hold on, how do I check that OKAY I found an email from May 23rd, 2021 asking me to verify my email, so I guess I've been dormant for two years huh why did I join again I don't know why I joined. But I am HERE! And I actually know why I did. Twitter crashing down, so my good pal COOKIE (hello cookie 👋🏻) showed me this website, with the lot of awesome things you could do with it. Including writing walls of text! Which I LOVE to do! Anyone who knows me knows I do!

The step after that was kinda funny. See Cookie (wassup cookie ✌🏻) was nice enough to welcome me in a voice call to teach me the ins-and-outs of tumblr. I do not think either of us expected what followed. I definitely remembered having an account, but the first challenge was just about to rise: remembering my PASSWORD ⛈ (it was actually okay- I remember those). The most difficult part was actually entering it in the browser. For some reason Firefox does not like showing the part that comes after entering your email address. Trying to clear the cache and tweaking settings for half an hour, I finally decided to switch browsers, but then... THEN!

The cone of shame! And a bland background picture! These two were assigned to my profile. I tried to change them, but for some reason, tumblr wouldn't let me... Leading our investigation further in my account's settings, it appears my blog was flagged as “explicit” (reminder: I've been as useful and active as a rock for the past two years). Action had to be taken.

Much better, right? All it needed was aesthetic colours and definitely not suspicious looking titles. We actually had a lot of fun setting these. I tried to understand the basic features that Cookie (how r u cookie 🤟🏻) explained to me to the best of their ability as my account was very restrained, it took one email to user support and three weeks and VOILÀ! I'M FREE kind of a mistake but THANK YOU nonetheless tumblr support ❤

what now

oh my god I can select F.O.N.T.S. and play with sizes I mean you've probably seen it many times in many places already but MAN this is NEW to me And it feels really good too!! I've always loved to scribble and write down shit for no reason note: I'm scared to swear because of the recent flagging I've been a victim of 😨 (<- scared emoji) I have no idea what I'll write how long I'll write it if I'll write more?? You're witnessing the live production of my tumblr discovery

what's next?

I want to do many things I want to do... everything 😩 no but for real I think trying to find a nice layout for a first could be nice. Like a theme and all. Ideally something similar to what cookie (hey cookie 👉🏻) cooked, someday :3c I'm also gonna follow all the cool artists I saw around (like Sirope who's the one who drew my current profile pic she deserves your love (and your money)). Tumblr feels more like a place for friend with lots of MAYHEM! while I like to use Reddit for games and communities, and Twitter for a bit of both. I like making friends and following game accounts there, but for Tumblr I wonder if that would work... I guess I'll dig deeper and see for myself!

Right now, this is the start of a NEW ADVENTURE! ⛵ Until next time,

take care and drink some water

[treehouse-void]

New stuff

So you may have noticed, if you're a long time follower of this blog, that there have been some changes to it. For starters, an actual profile picture. Yes I have finally upgraded to an actual profile pic rather than the default tumblr one, and it's actually made on picrew. No I don't remember which one but if anyone does I'll mention it and give credit to both the person who made the one I made this picrew on and the person who figured it out.

Next on our list is why I'm now using on my main a username I used for my side blog. Well for starters, this is something I've been meaning to do for awhile now. I've been wanting to rebrand so to speak for at least a couple months or so maybe. Idk how long but it has been awhile. So this was really a long time coming.

What else should I mention? Don't be afraid to ask any questions you have for me and/or Kitty, I might not always be on so bear with me, I have way too many ideas to count, check out my other social media which will be listed below. I can't think of anything else, but if you want me to mention something let me know.

Have fun, and yeah make sure to check in to see what all I've posted if anything.

Tumblr: you are here. Congrats!

Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/user/treehouse-void

AO3: Wouldn't be surprised if at this point I need to start over with the account making process since I haven't been on it for awhile, but I'll post here a link when I have one. Update here's the link, and yes it's supposed to be blank too as of making this: https://archiveofourown.org/users/treehouse_void

YouTube: There's nothing on it but if for whatever reason you want it here you go: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCF4iE78hN0Se9us5sTrL3AQ

[jack-bytez-genuine-corner]

Dear Tumblr diary

I'm still scared of sleep and it's a hard act to do. My brother bullying me my entire childhood sadly still sticks with me I guess.

Brain fog sucks. I sometimes lose track of time and it's absolutely terrifying. I'm trying to adapt in my own way but the next time I see a doctor I guess I'll see if there's anything that can help. I don't like the realization of me missing time. I'm being a bit overdramatic as it only happens for short bursts but it's just awful as it is never consistent in how bad it is.

I don't understand why I write these as I don't even know if I want a response. I guess it's calming to send my thoughts into the empty void that is the Internet.

I wrote a letter to myself while delirious from sleep deprivation on how I can make a tech fairy outfit for cons and for fun. I don't remember what is in the letter I wrote two+ hours ago. I hope I was nice to myself in it, I think I was. If the outfit turns out bad or good I'll be happy, I deserve to fail or succeed at sewing, a thing I used to do as a wee lad. It'll be fun, period.

I cried a lot thinking about games that sincerely changed my life today: The World Ends with You when I was a depressed teen that helped me relearn how to like other people and even be vulnerable with them. That game helped me to expand my world, appreciate others even if I don't know them or share any similarities with them and that the world truthfully does end with you. Then Hi-Fi Rush now which honestly helped me realize that it's ok to be a loser with low / no prospects or accomplishments, because living your best life and struggling towards a dream, any dream is important. If I get a tattoo I'm getting Mr Mew and 808 cause simply remembering those games makes me all emotional. I need to not feel like a failure just cause I'm still in college at 25 years old and still a loser, cause I have people who care about me, I have a lot of the world to learn from and listen to their noise, I can still let people in. Basically it's ok to be a loser and to fail.

I helped some med students get ready to draw blood today. My husband is going there as well, but he got all his arm pokes in so I was just there to make sure others got theirs in as well. I talked to a lot of them but I don't think people feel that comfortable when I'm so honest and forward with stating what I'm feeling. I used to use a mask for every social interaction, but now I try my hardest with everyone to make sure I'm being authentic, so I'll just flat out state that I'm grateful for talking to them, that I'm excited for them, that this or that thing of them is brave, that their clothing or mannerisms are cool. I try as hard as possible to be so overtly kind cause I don't want to "Fake" it anymore, I just want to be that way. To me, I know I mean it, but I worry if I'm coming off as not genuine. I don't need them to say "Oh thank you for being you" but I just don't want to be seen by others as a loser even if my outlook of myself is that. Side note but I'm extremely thankful for the students bringing home cooked, authentic food to the potluck as a thank you for friends and family getting poked. Some of it is clearly home recipes passed down in different cultures. I'm only regretting the fact I didn't question them for a history lesson on the food they made as I really want to know the story behind the food.

I do that online too and I don't know if people like it or get it. When I got that art commissioned I went out of my way to tell the artist repetitively how much it meant to be, and how pretty their art is, and I meant it 100%. They deserve to know that info and l, btw, think the model is practically perfect and I've never been so happy to see something that I could only describe in my brain be real. I need to change my profile pic on here and the blog title, but it feels different or wrong to do that at this moment. Similarly if I reblog your art with those types of compliments, please know I mean it. I don't want to lie and I want to be an honest man, and every single person deserves kindness and honesty from strangers.

I hate that US society is so dehumanizing and selfish centric. We ignore other cultures to an extreme, are extremely paranoid and it's always about me - me - me, but never we. I really wish I got to live in a society that's more level headed, a little more kind, and a little more stable. I often have to fight myself because of this: When I get real disillusioned at the state of things and can't see the good in people I just revert to edgy, suicidal teen me that views everyone and everything as a falsehood and a threat. Person walking their dog down the street? Will actually kill you for fun. Happy couple? Complete lie, happiness isn't real. That "Me" wasn't healthy and still isn't, but when I see how the US treats minorities , treats the poor it just kills my want to live and experience life. It's like I just want to become a hermit who experiences nothing. Thank goodness I was fortunate enough to be in a position for therapy, because I don't want that to be my outlook: I want to live in a world with hope and I want to believe good things will happen because I think they can and will, it just sadly takes time. That disillusionment has been happening more recently, but I try real hard to make sure I remember that good things can still happen and that I can be good for the people in my community, I can be their hope like they are mine. The strength of Trans people, Black people, Natives, women, progressives, etc, is awe inspiring to me and they're what gives me hope that things can be better. And if anyone not in the US is reading, you also give me hope, cause I can always look elsewhere and see good people doing good things just to do so.

I finished my classes this semester, my Python programming class I got over 100%. I should feel really accomplished but I just don't feel that. I love programming, don't get me wrong, but I still hit a roadblock daily on allowing myself to feel good about myself. I just remember things I've said to random strangers online or things I've done in person and I put myself at below where I would situate others: I can forgive people for those things, but I can't forgive myself. Maybe it's trauma from my bro, maybe it's my illogical brain, but I really should try to take pride and joy in doing good at things. If others deserve that, don't I as well?

This post keeps getting longer but I just have more of my guts to spill I guess. I really dislike the feeling that the body I always wanted is pretty much permanently out of reach and was never in reach to begin with. It's dysphoria but I'll never be a thin shouldered Twink and that's ok. I like my beard, I don't mind balding at 25, i think my wide shoulders and heavy weight are tactical advantages. Still, I hate being 250~ pounds permanently. My weight hasn't changed for such a long time and my build has always been the same. It doesn't matter what diet I try or what years long lifestyle changes I make, shedding down the pounds might as well be impossible. Other than my fibromyalgia and post COVID brain fog I'm healthy as an ox so I'm very grateful for that. I'm also thankful for that doctor and therapist who aided me with my eating disorder crap, without them I might be dead and that's no good. Maybe that's why I'm a furry? Who knows.

The other day I got to call a beekeeper to come and save a swarm of bees. It's was very exciting and I got to learn a lot about the process as I saw her vacuum up the whole swarm. A junior beekeper tagged along and brought her kid. The daughters name started with a T, she has her 13th birthday and she was having trouble with her Spanish teacher who is really busy business focused, likes gymnastics and her favorite insect is the honey bee with her least favorite insect being the killer bee. I talked to her and hopefully helped her to not take out her frustrations with her teacher on the idea of learning / speaking Spanish. From what I gathered I think she understood it. To me, language is extremely precious and unique, with any and every single one being worthy of preservation and respect so I'm glad it seems like she won't let one stern teacher stop her from learning Spanish. I am very grateful I got to see a kid be very excited about bees. Side note but if my situation was better / more stable I'd love to adopt, it's a travesty that many kids just get tossed around the foster system and don't get a loving home. And if I do adopt, I really won't be picky as all kids deserve a loving home. If we adopt a Black kid or Native kid I'll have to figure out how to make sure they aren't denied that cultural heritage as those are extremely important things, and perhaps the right answer is not too cause I'm not a white savior so to speak? It's honestly a complex moral question to me.

I feel at odds with my close friend group. In my eyes, their family and come first but I think I'm viewed more as an afterthought. Regardless of that I still need to remember to send them love. When it isn't 3 in the morning I'll make sure to send them a nice message on discord as they deserve it. Is a cat meme too cliche?

My cat is a little space heater, and even though he annoys the crap out of me he cares for me to such an extreme degree that I should always remember him for being there to watch my back, to comfort me when I cry like a baby, and the fact that he basically discusses things with me.

I still don't understand blogging but I don't think I want too. Similarly I don't understand mutuals but I'm glad people have them on here. Closing message is to remember to be kind to yourselves, that you don't need a reason to live past being alive, and that you have value innately. You matter.

(Why did I even write this for an hour?)

[justjohn4now]

I deleted my old Tumblr because it was made when I was at probably the lowest point in my life. I was in a relationship with someone that I gave my absolute everything to. I did everything for her and her kids. I always stayed broke just so they could have what they wanted. All they did was take. And it changed me. I loved her more than anyone. I wrote soooo much and it still stings. My heart was ripped out, mangled, and shoved back into my chest. I've never hurt that bad. I thought the problem really was me. Everything was my fault. It got so bad that I actually started to see a therapist. Tim... Super nice guy. I learned a lot. Was getting my shit together... Starting to get back on track. We tried to make it work again. Same result. Each time was worse. I kept trying to make it work. I kept giving my all. It broke me. I wanted to give up. Even now as I write this... The tears are coming. There are sooo many more details and things that happened. But we are going to skip ahead...I was able to save what little of my heart was left. Things were looking up. Back to getting money, having fun, new job, cars, get myself back. The awesome guy that everybody loves. And I made it. So I started getting back into the dating scene...which is not fun these days. One day I clicked like on someone...on her profile it said to add her on snap...I did. She ended up adding me back and I felt like a creep kinda. Liking her things and we haven't really talked. Thinking... How many other thirsty ass dudes are doing the same. I have no chance. I commented on something one day and she actually wrote back asking who I was. I remember thinking that she's probably going to be annoyed because I'm creeping all her shit. But she was sooo cute. Thick... Super cute... Short... I was partially hooked. I needed to know her. Talking was hit or miss for a while. She had some car issues. I offered to help... Finally talked her into bringing her car to me. That was our first time meeting. We had been talking for a lil while. But I was in. She just needs to meet me. I got this. She gets here and has her daughters with her. They hang out in my garage while I check it out. Her kids were soooo cute. And both totally different. But her... 😍😍 She was shy, super cute, actually looked like most of her pics, and she was funny. Her smile is my absolute favorite. Her teeth arent perfect... Her lips look sooooooo soft🫦.(I found out later that they are.😏) Got the car figured out and talked a little bit. I kinda played with the kids a lil. Then they left. I have to know this girl. I am hooked at this point. But I tell myself to slow down. My last relationship still pops into my head sometimes. But I told myself that my next relationship will be my last. She actually messaged me first after they left. We talked. Her kids liked me and turns out... She does too.😁 It was all downhill from there... Fast. Everything was awesome. I loved this girl. We were sooo happy, sex was absolutely rediculous, we liked food, music, a lot of the same things but she was different also. I met her family, she met mine. My mom loved her and that's huge!

Then one day I'm at her house things are awesome as always and then she picks up my phone and starts to go through it.... Nooooo not this again! Why! Immediately I am sooo upset. Things were never the same. That hurt. My heart was soooo close to being back to normal then this. Fuck. It hurt and I did not know how to react. I did not expect it at all. Immediately the walls around my heart started to go back up. It happened 3 times total. Now I'm scared, hurt, worried. I can't let it happen to me again. I did nothing to provoke this. I was all in and it's happening again. Tried to save it but I locked up. Couldn't let my real feelings out... Couldn't talk anymore. I felt betrayed. I still stuck around.... I wanted this to work and I know she has had bad relationships in the past. Then I had issues with my daughter and her mom. Starting this whole custody battle. It was hard... Soo much happening. I couldn't talk to her because what if my thoughts and feelings weren't safe with her. She doesn't trust me. To her I am just a liar. It was sooo hard. We drifted apart... She tried for a while and I stayed back. I have to protect my heart. But I fucking love this girl. 💔💔 I told her I can't do it. But I couldn't tell her everything. I'm expecting her to just leave. She can't possibly really care. I kept pushing her away...not making her a priority. Biggest mistake ever. I fucked up....

We are no longer together...I found out she was talking to someone from an acquaintance of mine that just happens to be friends with this new guy... Small world. She never said a word about it and here I was still being loyal and faithful to this girl that I still loved but couldn't let back in while she was talking to other guys already and I found out that it became official late Nov. Early Dec. She never fucking told me... My heart is now falling apart. I try talking to her telling her I'm sorry and how much I love her. She is supposed to be the one. She is already moved on... That shit hurts sooo bad. How could she be over me after all she has said about me? I love her and wish her the absolute best. I wish I could go back and change some things. All my feelings are still there. Nothing is changed except this huge ache in my chest.

💔❤️where ever you are, what ever you are doing...I wish you the best. You will forever be in my heart. Keep your pretty lil head up. Keep moving forward. Never let anyone tell you you can't do something. You got this. I love you and miss you more than you will ever know. If you ever miss me just remember....I'm only one call or text away. Always.❤️💔

[whoseafraidofliloleme]

I like everyone of your smaus but i think my favorite would be unexpected partners...

I generally like stories that are (kind of) slice-of-life but that can easily be boring, but what i like about your stories is that there are quirks that makes them more interesting and easier to read... By that i mean quirks of the characters like how annoyingly blindsided or mean jungwon, jay, and hiyyih were or how much of a simp y/ns siblings and friends are towards her

I also like that in alot of your works are y/ns or ocs that are independent or are actually able to look out for themselves and take care of their friends and that they have something they're good at and actually likeable

Another thing would be that you have a good general sense of what would make a story or synopsis interesting.. like although you have a lot of discontinued (?) smaus id think its because you can generally tell whether there is an actual idea or goal to that story and decide to either change something up to make it more interesting or to drop it and create a new one... And i think its impressive how you can make up a lot of stories

And i also really like how you sometimes add the things we mention or the 'what-if' scenarios we say

The only thing that bothers me would probably be that sometimes the profile pic and the names or the one who's supposed to say it are different... It's just cause it usually pay attention to the profile pic rather than the name and it can sometimes get confusing for me

Of course these are just my opinions, and i know its not much of a constructive criticism rather just me saying what i like abt your works... But i still wanted to share them with you :]

-😾 (i actually forgot whether or not I used 😾 as my anon thingy already or this is the first time I've done it)

Hi 😾,

Honestly I can't remember if this is the first time you've used it or not 😂. This might be the first time you've used it 🤷🏽‍♀️.

Aw thank you for liking all my smaus, that means everything to me honestly.

When I was writing Unexpected Partners, I didn't expect it to blow up the way it did. But I think the idea that you have to love yourself before loving someone else is very universal and it resonated with readers which was great.

YBWM, I really did want to show the character growth, how they went from people who had so much prejudice against each other to friends or in ynwons case lovers.

I just love making different characters simps for yn 😂, that's my favourite thing to do honestly.

I love that you've noticed that, it's something I love doing, independent YN's is important and making sure each yn is different to others. The only similarity is that all my YN's are swifties 😂. I tried with YBWM for a bad girl type yn but I think she ended up being more endearing than anything else 😂.

Yeah when I think abt it, I do have a lot of discontinued smaus 😂, I think i get the ideas then get too excited and start posting about it before I've thought it through. Or Ive got it thought out but I don't think too far into how I want the story to go.

Going into my process here, I get the idea and I write that down, most of the times the idea is linked to a member so that's the summary and pairing sorted, then I figure out the characters, friends groups, then the profiles and all are made.

Generally I have a vague idea of where I want to go with the story and that's kinda why so many stories have been discontinued, because I've gotten to the third or something chapter and I don't know where the story goes from there so it gets discontinued.

I like having more than one story at once cause I like having different ideas to work on. Just focusing on one smau seems boring to me 😂. Like if I'm struggling on the next chapter for one smau, I can jump and go to another story until I get an idea for the one I was struggling on.

Oh I love adding reader ideas, most of the time they are better than what I originally planned or like with Call It What You Want, where yn made what I thought was a offhand comment but everyone was quite shocked that she'd say something like that and so that got me thinking and I addressed it in the next chapter which I hadn't planned to do but it worked out nicely and readers appreciated that I did that.

Adding What If scenarios is my favourite thing to do. I love how just one choice/convo can change the trajectory of a whole story. What If scenarios fascinate me and I'd love to write a whole choose your adventure type smau, I think that would be so much fun. A lot of work on my side but I think it would be worth it.... And now I'm thinking of how a good idea to do a choose your adventure smau 😂😂..

Ah I see and hear what your saying. I hate not taking full responsibility but it's really not my fault, it's the app I use 😂. Memi Message that glitches on me 😭, it confuses me too cause I'm like this isnt the person whose meant to be talking 😂. I don't know how to solve this but worry not, it annoys me immensely and I'm trying to find a way that it happens less or atleast doesn't happen when I take screenshots.

Thank you so much for taking the time to send this ask. I love a long ask so I've had lots of fun answering this. I hope you carry on reading and enjoying my smaus and any fics I write. I would not be adverse to more asks but that's up to you.

I hope you have a amazing day/night wherever you are 🫰��🫶🏽.

[sreegs]

Whats up with tumblr ads?

With the recent spate of dirty feet pics filling my dash claiming to offer an effective method to rid my body of toxins, I wanted to write about something I've put off for a bit since I distanced myself from tumblr. I was an employee from 2015-2021 and witnessed it change hands from Yahoo to Verizon to Automattic from inside the belly of the beast. What follows is a holistic explanation for why tumblr ads are so bad. I'm not going to (and incapable of) providing you with the details, but after reading many outsiders' theories about tumblr ads, I wanted to offer an unofficial explanation.

1. Tumblr doesn't collect much info from you

On signup, tumblr collects your age and email. That's about it. From there, tumblr does build up a profile used to try to categorize you for advertisers, but it's trying to pull information from post and engagement history that's messy at best, anemic at worst. Tumblr's foundations are rooted in an era when sites acquired as many users as they could first, then monetized later. The problem is that those foundations were based on anonymity, before more unscrupulous covert methods of data collection were the norm.

You may have seen some ads on tumblr that are, indeed, incredibly specific to you, but those are ads that are served through an ad provider that recognizes your browser's cookies and then serves you a relevant ad. I'll explain this in a bit, but this is not based on any tumblr browsing data they have on you. It's merely a cookie thing, most commonly known as cross-site tracking.

Tumblr's anonymity has actually been a thorn in the side for developing features that users need. Like account recovery and such. This can best be verified with two-factor authentication, but that requires you to give up your phone number. You can do this now, but many users don't use it or don't even know about it.

2. Tumblr's ads are mostly a bunch of third-party ad services bidding for your views

The way advertising works on Tumblr, and most other websites other than Facebook and Google, is you scroll until you're just about to see an ad. In those few milliseconds, the ad is determined by checking a series of ad providers, one by one, in order, until one of them a) has and ad to show you, and b) bids high enough to show it to you

The thing about using third-party ad providers is they mostly suck. Facebook and Google offer decent ads, but they often require you to be providing FB and Google thumbprints from the users' cookies. And people who advertise on those platforms get to be more scrupulous over where they buy ad space. Providers other than FB/Google become bottom of the barrel ads, real fast. These are where the weird ads come from. Weird products, obvious scams, and the more nasty political ads (which tumblr tries to avoid).

These third party platforms are trusted to provide a certain level of quality and follow a certain set of rules. Often, they do not, and it's not in their best interest to do so. They want to serve as many ads as possible so they get their cut. So they'll find ways to get around limits based on repetitive ads, or skirting/ignoring rules of the types of ads the site wants to show. In order to remedy problematic ads, tumblr must contact the ad provider and tell them to stop fucking around. Their responses are often slow, begrudging, or sometimes noncompliant. Since tumblr needs money, they shrug their shoulders and say they tried, and the foot ads continue until the ad provider finally does something.

3. Tumblr's first-party ads had a rough history

If you've been here since 2013-2016 you may remember a time when Tumblr ads were alright. This is the era of Dennys, Tostinos, Gushers, etc making ads that looked like they belonged on tumblr. This was when brands on social media acting like people was just seen as mostly-innocent "how do you do fellow kids" weird humor and not just another sign of late stage capitalism.

Tumblr's own ads required a sales team to sell them. This meant salespeople went out and talked to companies to have them buy ad space on Tumblr. This is quickly becoming a bygone practice, as it's slower than programmatic ad buying and costs more in overhead. However, it ensures better quality ads show up, and more people actually clicked on them.

I can't tell you the whole story, but in summer 2016, tumblr's ads had the rug pulled out from under them. Tumblr was doing really good with their ads. I mean, actually good. During this era, tumblr's niche appeal also attracted celebs for their answer time, which in turn made the platform appealing to advertisers. I remember seeing the Black Pather cast walk by my desk during a tour of the old office. I got seats to a talk from Bruce Campbell and the cast of Evil Dead. Benedict Cumberbatch was there once, and I definitely ran into William Jackson Harper in the elevator.

Yahoo took notice of how trendy tumblr was and decided that it was time or tumblr's sales team to stop working exclusively for tumblr and move under Yahoo's sales team. To pour salt on the wound, the welcoming from their new boss was incredibly condescending. This resulted in most of tumblr's sales team resigning, taking their clients with them.

While this wasn't the only nail in the coffin, it was a pretty big one. If you had the opportunity to see tumblr ad revenue graphs from before and after 2016, you'd see a steady rise, then a very sharp decline. It was demoralizing for the whole company.

4. Holistically, tumblr's unappealing to advertisers

All of the above factors contribute to this point. If a site doesn't have a lot of good ads, good advertisers choose to serve ads elsewhere. Tumblr's traffic is miniscule compared to other platforms, so that too, drives down the appeal. And tumblr's remaining first-party ads are high-touch, expensive, and more difficult to organize than the more predominant way of advertising these days: bidding automatically on ad space right about to appear before the user's eyes.

This, by the way, is true for most sites outside of FB and Google, and to some extent Twitter (they're on the slide, though). Online advertising is a fucking hellscape and I wish we could un-open pandora's box.

It was really depressing to watch this slide from the inside because I care about the people who use tumblr, and I knew that advertising is a necessary evil if you can't pay for your site in any other way. I don't know if they'll find the answer before the money runs out but here's to hoping they do.

[navalcriminalimagines]

Match

Fic inspired by this scene (S17xE15) and @specialagentastra ❤️(gif and pic are mine)

Tags: @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @madamsnape921 @specialagentastra @ncisfan

Get Started.

Leroy Jethro Gibbs isn't sure what got into him. How did Phil Brooks manage to get him to do it? He hates everything about online dating, about smartphones, about technology. Why did he press the button? Sure, he still can change his mind, erase his profile (if he ever find how) and forget all about it.

But the truth is...he's lonely. For many years, he lied about it to everyone, saying that he wasn't if someone asked. But he is. Very much so.

Plus, online dating doesn't involve into anything, right? He's just going to see women's profiles and that's it. "Swipe left if you don't like her. Swipe right if you do." Phil told him. God, how he hates smartphones.

But Gibbs is smart. He hates those things and never got interested in them, but as Phil and Tobias show him how to use his new phone, he starts to get it. He just doesn't know more than what they show him.

Changing his picture profile was one of those things. "If you don't like the one I choose for you, here's how you can change it."

It's not that Gibbs doesn't like the picture, but he thinks that the less we see of him, the better. So, instead of the one Phil took, he puts one that was taking by Tobias while they were fishing. He can be seen from afar, holding the fish he just caught. That seems right to him.

Gibbs doesn't spend much time on the app. Sometimes at night, he hears the phone buzzing and he checks. Women swiped him to the right. He swiped to the left.

Maybe he's being picky. Or maybe he just doesn't how he supposed to value someone through a picture or two and not many more information about them. It feels so impersonal to Gibbs. He hates it.

"Have you match with someone?" Phil asks one night.

"No."

"Gibbs, come on!" His friend spots the phone on the coffee table and grabs it. "Let me do it for you." And he does.

For what feels like an eternity for Gibbs, Phil swipes either left or right, while the Agent is annoyingly looking at the western movie on his old tv.

"Crap, look at her!" Phil holds the phone right under Gibbs's nose. He doesn't have his glasses on, so the screen appears blurry to him. With a smile, Phil offers him the glasses with his free hand.

Still very annoyed, Gibbs grabs them. "Too young." He says when he sees the age.

"But pretty as hell!"

"Too. Young."

"Too. Late." he uses the same tone as Gibbs's. "I swiped right!"

"I hate you."

"You'll thank me when you'll have a date with--" Phil checks the name. "Y/N."

* * * * *

Online dating has never been good to you. You've been on it for about year, after a bad breakup, and until now, you've only matched with weirdos. None of those match led to an actual meeting and you were getting tired of it.

You barely pay attention when a new notification from the app comes through. You focus on your book, forgetting about it until your curiosity gets the best of you.

"Leroy Jethro Gibbs," you read out loud. "Dude, you seem good looking but a fish holding picture? Seriously?" yes, you're talking to your phone.

There's nothing much to this Leroy's profile. And the picture definitely doesn't get your interest, it's quite the opposite actually. You put your phone aside without locking it and return to your book.

A few minutes later, another notification comes through.

Leroy: Hey :)

How? How did he manage to send you a text? You didn't swipe. Or at least, you thought you didn't, but after checking, you realized that you did swipe... to the right. Damn.

You're too nice, you don't want to leave him on read - you know how terrible that is - so it's better you answer and eventually tells him the truth, or something close to it.

You: Hello.

Leroy: How are you?

You: I'm fine, thank you. You?

Leroy: Better now that you swiped right.

You: Smooth.

Leroy: I'm not really used to this. Are you?

You: More or less.

Leroy: I'd prefer to meet someone face to face.

You: Why are you on a dating app, then?

Leroy: Didn't you read my bio?

You: I did. But that friend didn't put a knife on your throat, did they?

Leroy: Nope. But if he did, I know how to fight anyway.

You: Right, former Marine?

Leroy: Gunnery Sergeant.

You could have stopped the conversation as soon as it's started, but somehow, you went on and on, all night long.

* * * * *

"What the hell are you still doing on that phone?" Gibbs asks his friend.

"Still talking with Y/N. I think she likes you."

Gibbs disappeared in his basement hours ago, leaving Phil is the living room. He knew that Phil sent you a text as soon as you matched with him, but he didn't except for it to keep going for that long.

"That's not me talking to her. It's you."

"I know you well enough to know what you'd say."

"You don't know me well enough to not do things like that to me."

"Stop complaining and get ready for a date this weekend."

* * * * *

Gibbs is still not sure how he got into this. But somehow, he finds himself at the diner on a Saturday night, waiting for a young and beautiful woman to meet him.

Is he nervous? No.

Maybe a little.

Okay, he is.

He read all the texts you exchanged with Phil - thinking that it was actually him - to make sure he wouldn't miss something. But it doesn't feel right anyway. It feels like he's lying to you before he even met you. That's not how a relationship can start and work.

Although, the chance of this turning into a relationship are close to none. "You know, you could just take her home, spend the night with her and the next morning--bye-bye." Divorce really changed Phil.

Gibbs is facing the entry, and checks everyone who’s coming in. He’s on his second coffee when he finally sees you.

Phil was right, you’re pretty as hell. But still very young, Gibbs doesn’t understand how you can even get interested in an old man like him.

But he doesn’t have to overthink it as you softly introduce yourself to him. He stands up and shakes your hand. You sit across the table and for a moment, none of you talk. You both feel awkward. “I don’t really know how to—“ he starts saying.

“Me neither.” You chuckle. “You’re actually the first match I’m meeting.”

“Really?” He looks at you, extremely surprised.

“Well, yeah. You know those weirdos I talked with…”

Gibbs vaguely remembers that part of the texts. But to avoid saying the wrong thing, he asks you what you want to drink. “Coffee’s fine.”

He calls for the waitress and orders your coffee. “People usually doesn’t understand how I can drink coffee at night.”

“Same. But with or without it, I don’t sleep much anyway.”

That’s how it started. Once you were talking, everything went smoothly between you two. You’re very interested by him, just like he’s by you. “You’re very nice, Leroy. There’s something I need to tell you.”

“I’m listening?”

“I didn’t mean to swipe right. It was mistake—but I’m really happy I did. You’re not a creep,” you warmly smile at Gibbs, he feels his heart melting inside his chest.

“I appreciate your honesty. I guess I should do the same.” You raise an eyebrow at him. “I wasn’t the person you talked with. My friend did it for me.”

Well, what you did was a honest mistake. What he did was... weird. You looked at him, confused and a bit disappointed. "I just ruined it, didn't I?" he asks for the look on your face.

"I talked with a man and met another one... that's--strange, Leroy."

"Look, this whole online dating-- that's really not my thing. And Phil, my friend, just wanted to help." he explains. "What do you say we start all over?"

Despite the other people talking around you and Gibbs, there's a long silence between you two. Gibbs just stares at you, unsure of what you're going to do.

You're thinking for a moment, before finishing your coffee. You stand up and to the man's surprise, you smile at him. "I'm gonna sit at the counter. Come talk to me like none of this happened."

He deserves the benefit of the doubt.

[thiserichann]

cookies and cream - lee jeno

reader x jeno

genre: smut, strangers to fuck buddies, humor if you squint hard enough

word count: 4k-ish

warnings: recklessness (she met with a stranger online, don’t do it kids) excessive lying, 18+ scenes that includes: oral (f receiving) face riding, soft dom!jeno?

This is merely a work of fiction and is not meant to hurt the image of Jeno and NCT. Again, don’t be as reckless as OP. This was just a fantasy of mine that I’ve been dying to get out of my system.

Holy fuck.

That's the only word that you've managed to utter when you decided to check your messages that morning.

You got bored in the middle of the class and decided to sneak a peek on your phone to pass the time. The class is recorded anyways so you can always just go back to the parts of the lessons that you've missed.

But holy fuck.

You never expected to see THAT so early in the morning.

"Miss Y/N?"

You snapped back to reality and stopped malfunctioning for a second when somebody called your name. Everyone including your professor remained quiet and all eyes are on you.

"Oh. Sir what’s the question again?"

You answered nervously as you tried to review your notes and backtrack on what he is discussing a few moments ago.

"I see that you're distracted in the middle of my class again. Mind sharing what you're occupied with?"

"Uhm. I was watching KPOP fancams, sir."

"Fancams won't get you into law school, Miss Y/N. Phones off please."

You tucked your phone back to your pocket and never picked it up again since. The professor started blabbering again but no information is being retained on your head. It stayed that way at your other classes.

You wished you were looking at some KPOP fancams earlier. You’ve watched fancams at class before and got away with it unscathed.

Oh no. It was a goddamn dick pic.

A good one, too.

It was from a guy that you met in a kink site a few days ago. You created the account out of boredom and expected nothing to come out from it. It’s all the flirting and sexting without all the unnecessary commitment

It only took you a few minutes to set up an account. For some privacy, you made a random birthdate and a random nickname, because like hell would you share your real information to these people. You also picked a racy picture of a lady that looked a bit like you and passed it off as your own.

Within minutes, your inbox is flooded with messages. Most of them, however, are from men who are old enough to be your father.

Well, you were bored, so you entertained everyone and then went on back to your boring, vanilla life. A few political history and theory books later, you went back to see which ones messaged you on the site.

And that's where you've met him.

The most gorgeous piece of meat alive.

He seems like a nice guy. He introduced himself as LJ and your age aren’t that far off from each other. LJ is the only one who actually engaged in conversation besides "want to fuck?" or "are you horny?"

As soon as you started messaging back and forth, you scrolled on his profile to see what he looks like. The only thing is, his profile looked a whole lot like those high fashion male underwear photoshoots.

It was an array topless pictures (presumably his, you just can’t be bothered to check if it is actually his). It featured his sculpted abs and biceps, cropped up all the way to his full lips. Despite not seeing his whole face, you knew very well that he’s a hunk. To say you were intrigued is an understatement.

Since then, you've been talking back and forth through Snapchat (your secret one because you're not stupid) and sent him actual pictures of yourself, completely omitting the face. You took one from your bed, your bathtub, and probably every part of your house that you felt is sexy enough to be included on the pics.

You can't tell him if it's him or the repressed sexual urges finally manifesting itself after more than a year of not getting laid, but every text to and from him made your heart race. It was something that you looked forward to every hour everyday.

Hours went by that you totally forgot leaving him on read. You climbed up to your bed to rest your back to the headboard and opened your unread messages.

You: Hey svlr. School stuff.

  He opened the chat and started typing right away.

  LJ: Oh good. I thought I did something wrong to upset you.

You: Not at all. I loved the pic by the way. It literally knocked my socks off.

LJ: Just the socks?

You: You can take the rest of it off yourself ;)

You scoffed. The flirty banter has always been there ever since you started talking but nothing really came out of it.

LJ: If only I could :(

You: I know. Covid’s a bitch.

You set your phone aside for a second to go to the bathroom. On your way, you picked up some snacks at the fridge and sat back down to your bed, only to find your phone blowing up.

LJ: If you're down maybe we could meet

LJ: It's totally fine if you don't want to

LJ: I just made it weird, didn't I?

LJ: I'm so sorry I brought it up in the first place

LJ: I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable

LJ: Hello?

LJ: I'm really sorry

You: Chill. I'm right here

You: I just went to the bathroom

LJ: Oh

You: I'd be lying if I said I don't want to meet you as well

You: Well... I wouldn't write off the idea

You: But with the Covid

LJ: Thoughts?

You: I don't think it's a great idea

The screen says Seen right at the bottom but it took him a couple more minutes before finally replying.

LJ: I understand

LJ: But in case you change your mind, I'll leave the time and place up to you

LJ: I’ll take care of the rest

LJ: Deal?

You: I'll sleep on it.

You: Speaking of sleep, I gotta go. Morning class.

LJ: Okay. I guess this is good night then

You didn't, in fact, talk to him the day after.

You'd be lying if you said that you didn't want to see him and his abs in real life. But as someone who overthinks a lot, you just can't shake off the risk.

You: Good night. Talk to you tomorrow.

What if he's not really the guy in the pics? Or he’s psycho in real life? What if he's infected the virus?

You sighed.

Why must some global pandemic ruin your sex life?

You waited until the end of the day before you finally replied to LJ. The last thing that he texted was a brief good morning from earlier in the day and nothing else. He’s actually a pretty sweet guy, totally not worth ghosting, and you actually liked talking to him as a friend that you can share your sentiments with.

With your guilt finally eating you up, you took a break from your assigned readings and sat back at your bed to rest for the day. Your fingers hovered over the keyboard for a minute, thinking of something to say to him. It took you a few tries before finally hitting the send button.

You: So, I thought about it

LJ: And?

You: I need to know I can trust you

LJ: Okay. How?

You: I don’t know. Send me a proof that you’re real. Get tested?

You: Is that fine with you?

Within a split second, he sent his reply.

He actually did it.

You couldn’t believe it but he actually did it.

LJ: Consider it done.

He got tested for physical, including the virus test, and passed with flying colors. He even sent you a vid of him inside a medical clinic.

He just sent the uncensored results this morning where you can clearly see his real name.

Lee Jeno.

LJ.

Seems legit.

Well, the uncreative nickname shouldn’t matter now because the results meant only one thing.

You’re gonna have to push through with your promise.

You got ready around noon that day. You can’t remember the last time that you actually got ready to meet someone that’s not a delivery guy or a relative passing on something to your family.

As someone who overthinks a lot, you actually got everything covered. You picked a place near a restaurant to eat. The police station is just a few blocks away just in case something happens, and right in front of a library…

“Where’re are you off to?”

You raised your backpack to show to your mother.

“I’m off to the library. I needed to get these renewed. Maybe pick up a novel or two.”

She looks at you from head to toe, eyeing that incredibly loose hoodie, faded denim jeans, some worn out sneakers that looked like it’s supposed to be thrown away years ago and a medical mask that covers about ¾ of your bare face. It’s just your usual attire whenever you go out for errands.

She just nodded and went back to watching her favorite soap opera.

“It’s nice that you’re out of your room for once. Take some cookies from the kitchen so you’ll have something to eat in case you get hungry.”

… as an alibi to get away from your strict parents.

As soon as you left the door and made sure that you’re out of sight, you found the nearest public toilet and grabbed a whole other outfit from your backpack. The hoodie is replaced by a white, ruffled see-through blouse and you ditched the jeans for a tight skirt that’s at least four inches above your knees. You tousled your hair a little bit and put on some powder and tiny hint of lipstick before putting your facemask back on again.

It’s been a while since you’ve done an elaborate scheme like this. Your skills got a little bit rusty, but they always work.

Sometimes you wonder if you’re really meant to be lawyer or a criminal instead.

You stepped out of the toilet and blended right back into society.

Now all you have to do is find wherever the hell LJ is.

Jeno sat anxiously as he waited for you right inside the café. He’s on his fourth cup of coffee but it didn’t do anything to calm his nerves down (geez I wonder why).

You: I’m almost at the café.

He’s been staring at his phone the whole time. Once he received your message, which is a pic of you in the bathroom after the outfit change, he almost choked on his drink.

This message sent him on a panic as he turned his camera on to see how he looked. He did some minor adjustments to his hair and he wiped off his eyeglasses clean with the sleeves of his hoodie (which did nothing for him by the way) and then casually sat down and played it off cool like he hasn’t been waiting for you for over an hour.

On your perspective, you walked inside the café and looked around for LJ. Fortunately, there was only guy inside the café, twiddling with his phone on his hands and as he kept on peeking through the glass windows as if he’s looking for someone.

From afar, he actually looked really cute. His appearance, a shy, nerdy dude with glasses, looked way off from the fuckboy image that you expected him to have in reference to the messages that you’ve been getting from him.

It’s always the quiet ones that are kinky. You should know, you are one.

You walked over to his table and tapped his shoulders to get his attention.

He froze for a moment before he finally managed to turn around and face you.

“You’re actually here.”

“I know. I’m just as surprised as you are.”

tap tap tap tap

The room is so quiet that the only thing you can hear is the sound of your heels tapping against the tiled floor. You can say that that is one of your observable annoying habits tapping your foot on the floor when you're a nervous wreck.

Sighing in retaliation, you removed your hoodie, fanning yourself as you tried to relax and get comfy on the hotel couch (which should be comfortable enough since you paid a shit ton of money on that room), switching the TV on to get your mind off of things. The lackluster array of shitty sitcoms didn’t distract you at all, but it instead reminded you of the reasons why you’re in that room in the first place.

Having nothing to do to pass the time, you paced back and forth in the room, finally sitting down once you realized that it looks way worse than you just tapping your foot. You folded your arms right across your chest, looking at the watch from time to time but the hands of the clock seem to be moving slower the more you stare at it.

Quarantine started almost a year ago and it's been very hard for you. Sexually. It's been almost a year since you've been touched by a man and you’re more than ready to jump on anyone’s dick at any this point,

Too bad that that dick is taking his sweet time in the bathroom.

tap tap tap tap

Your foot found its rhythm once again, only this time, you’re not nervous anymore. Your patience is wearing thin.

As if summoned by the constant tapping, the guy comes out of the bathroom, just casually drying himself while wearing nothing but the towel dangerously hanging on his waist and a boyish smile on his lips.

No biggie.

"Hey."

Suddenly, you’re not tapping anymore.

Head empty, just thoughts of a hot guy patting down a towel all over his toned body.

“I hope I didn’t make you wait for too long.”

He spoke, tossing aside the towel on his hands on the sofa, finally giving you a full view of him and all his glory.

You must admit, you’re skeptical at first. The guy that’s been sending you faceless thirst traps just days ago, telling you how he’d fuck you senseless looked a lot different from the guy who entered the hotel room just a moment ago.

He came in wearing those black oversized hoodies that did a great job in hiding his best features. His hair was a bit long for your taste, covering half of his face while the face mask hid the other.

But this man right here in front you, he’s Adonis.

You unconsciously bit your lower lip, earning a chuckle from the guy.

“I’m guessing that you’d like to start now?”

You nodded, the tension and awkwardness rendering you unable to speak.

He smiles as he takes the remote from you, turning off the television because the main show is about to start.

You started to tense up again, eyes wide as you realized that he’s now right beside you, wrapping his arms around you as soon as he sat down. He leans over, soft lips coming into contact with your exposed neck and shoulders, landing small pecks all over.

You sat there breathless as he slowly ran his fingers to the side of your thighs, tracing circles at it while giving small, reassuring kisses on your neck and shoulders. It’s as if he’s asking you for your consent, waiting for you to open up to him before he makes a move.

He got his answer when you turned around to face him, running your fingers into his cheeks before cupping his face, your lips finally touching his. He moved in the same pace as earlier, slow and calculating. You got a bit impatient once again, biting his lower lips gently to let him know that he can do more.

He grabbed you by the waist and successfully placed you on top of him. The kiss got even more sloppy as you ran your hands through nape, then into his soft locks. His hands travelled once again, finger running through legs again, stopping as soon as he reached the hem of your skirt, flipping it up to reveal the thin lace material that barely covered your core. You took that as initiative to remove the towel on his waist and grinded against his growing member, the friction and heat enough to earn a groan out of him.

He held your waist once again, firmly this time, halting your movement completely.

You broke away from the kiss, staring him in the eyes to read his face.

“Something wrong?”

“Hold tight.”

You were about to ask about what hold tight mean, but your arms cling unto him involuntarily as he lifts the both of you out of the sofa.

Jeno laid you gently in the bed, making sure not to break eye contact as he does so. He looked like he's about to eat you alive, which is enough to send flush to your cheeks.

“I would’ve loved to bend you over that sofa, but I think it’s just proper that our first time will be on the bed.”

"God. You're beautiful."

He then ran his fingers towards the thin fabric of your blouse, feeling every part of your torso like he's memorizing every detail of it. His hands then travelled in your chest, squeezing the swell of your breasts on each hand, fingers shaking as he does so. It felt like an artist admiring his delicate work of art.

He situated himself between your legs, taking a moment to admire you first before doing anything else.

He started to run his hand on your cleavage and stopped on the uppermost button of your blouse, taking his time to remove all of them and placing a kisses at the exposed skin. After all of the buttons are taken care of, you lifted your body up and slid off the fabric. Your black lacy bra finally made its appearance. You took the liberty of taking that off too, as slow and as you possibly can.

 Jeno just stared at your body in awe, breathing heavily as his eyes scanned your naked glory.

 "Gorgeous."

He said under this breath before leaning down to claim your lips once again. You're turned on by how much attention he's giving your body now. You're usually loud in bed but his gestures are making you bashful. You've never felt this beautiful before.

You can feel his hands trembling as it travels all over your body, his kisses getting even more needy. There was moans of satisfaction every time he would lick your lips. Jeno was kissing you like you were oxygen and he needed to breath.

His hands travelled south, running across your thigh and your now aching core. You're about to remove your skirt and underwear but he stopped your hands midway.

"Keep it."

He took your hands away from your skirt and placed them just above your head.

"Just sit there and relax baby. Let me treat you."

You did just like he told you and gave him full control of your body.

"Good girl."

His lips brushed your ears, whispering sweet nothings about how beautiful you are under him. His kisses then went down to your neck, using his tongue and teeth, marking everything he can get his mouth on with his saliva. Meanwhile, his hands finally touched you down there, massaging your still clothed wetness.

His middle and index finger felt your slit, moving it in swift motion in search for your clit.

"Oh my god. That's it."

You gasped as his fingers finally hit the right spot, tossing your head back as his fingers made circles at your bundle or nerves.

You opened your legs more, leaning on your arms on your back, head tossed back and eyes closed as you feel your impending orgasm.

He dipped his hand inside your underwear and collected some of your essence with his fingers. The mental picture of him licking his fingers deliciously is enough to get you off for weeks.

It didn't take long before he took your panties off and his ducked his head down. He opened your legs once again and licked one long stripe on your core, making sure to taste all of you. You sat there and watch as he hungrily takes all of you in his mouth, acting like your pussy is a full course meal and he's been starving for years.

Within moments, you've become a moaning, toe curled mess. You ran your fingers to his blonde hair, guiding him on how to move his tongue and fingers on you. At one point, he bit some of your sensitive skin, making you scream a string of curses under your breath.

"Stop stop stop."

You grab a fistful of his hair and he paused from what he was doing. You pushed him gently away from you, leaving him staring at you confusedly. The confusion didn't last long when you flipped your current position, you're now on top.

"Can I ride your face?"

At this point, you're bold and horny enough to use your words and ask him. He just nodded, sliding himself from underneath you and went back to eating you like a champ. You grabbed his hands and placed them across your chest, squeezing your breasts to send him a message. He was quick to pick up and followed suit, pinching your nipples right in between fingers while your ride his face to orgasm.

"Shit. I'm coming..."

  You writhed from above him as you come undone. Your body felt cold all over. Your eyes are ringing, feeling dizzy as you almost passed out while you bucked your hips a few more times to milk your release.

You didn’t have time to recover when you heard your phone ringing from outside. Your legs felt a little shaky and you almost tumbled and hit your head in the wall if Jeno didn’t help you get up. You  sat down on the floor, butt-ass naked as you frantically searched for your phone from under all of your stuff before you finally pressed the answer button.

“Yes mom?”

“Where have you been? Your father’s been looking for you at the library. He’s picking you up on your way home.”

You buried your head on the couch to shake off the buzzing feeling on your head. You placed a pillow on your body while you searched for your discarded clothes all over the hotel room.

“Oh yeah. I went to the café and got something to eat. Tell Dad I’ll meet him outside the library.”

“Okay sweetie. Can you pick up some groceries on your way back? I’ll text you the list.”

“Yeah mom. Bye.”

You breathe a sigh of relief as you started putting on the outfit that you wore when you left home.

“Where are you going?”

Jeno reluctantly got dressed as well, his shy demeanor came back as soon as he wore his glasses and fixed his hair.

“I got to go, Jeno. I’m sorry that I’m leaving in such a bad time…”

You went over to him and placed a sweet kiss on his lips.

“I promise to make it up to you next time, okay? I’d love to meet you again.”

You grabbed a paper bag from your backpack and handed it to him, waving as you bolted out the door.

After fixing his things, he sat down for a moment and took a quick peek inside the package that you left him.

It was a ziplock bag of full of cookies and a whole other treat.

You left him your two-piece lace lingerie.

To be continued.