#chaewon morality crisis!!!!!!

[rkchaewon]

hold on.

        word count: 449. +3 charisma points. rkcharity.

chaewon is happy to be back in seoul - she’s starting to think that next year, if she even ends up celebrating the holidays at all beyond getting absolutely sloshed, she probably won’t go back to london for christmas. it’s becoming more and more obvious that her old friends have moved on. 

she used to be the most important, and the most interesting. chaewon would argue that she’s still the prettiest to this day, but that’s about all she’s got on them now. after the initial pleasantries and confirmations that she looks well, that her new blonde hair suits her, the conversation quickly petered out. what gossip chaewon picked up from instagram stories simply hadn’t been enough to keep her in the loop. she missed the city itself though. it was her one friend that was still there for her, even after she’d been gone for so long.

but chaewon’s childhood house still felt too cold and too empty to call home anymore. 

if it weren’t for sophie’s kind invitation to her home in brighton, it would have felt truly like a wasted trip from start to finish. 

now that she’s as close to being home as she imagines she’ll get, chaewon is feeling the need to do something good - it’s an unfamiliar feeling, but it’s not totally unwelcome. her motivations are ultimately still self serving. she doesn’t want to be good for others, chaewon only wants to be good to make herself feel better. ultimately, as far as chaewon’s concerned she’s still volunteering so her intentions didn’t matter that much at the end of the day. 

either way, she’s still standing there in the freezing cold with a donation bucket in her hands, shaking around its contents so far to try and encourage more people to give money to the children’s ward’s refurbishments. chaewon’s made a promise to herself not to check her phone for the duration of her two hour shift, but it’s making the time pass so slowly, especially when nobody seems to be biting. people are too busy trying to get through the big hospital doors to see loved ones or make appointments - they don’t care to see what the tiny blonde’s bucket’s writing says.

by the time someone comes to take over from her, chaewon practically shoves them with the force she hands the bucket over with. she goes inside and collects her handbag from the receptionist, expecting to see her saviour suffering just as badly - but no, not at all. they have a whole gaggle of people surrounding them, wallets open. what was she doing wrong? chaewon barely spares them a second glance.

maybe being good just wasn’t her thing.