#ch; benji mahmoud

[pluresque]

@hostiae | sc.

so like her nephews, he is. or so she thinks. now, when pandora thinks of them, she imagines faces not their own; features lost to time. but she remembers the simple joy of watching them grow — a joy that can never be experienced, with him.

it was wrong. it should not have been done. had she known, before it was underway— there many things that she tells herself. it cannot change anything, now. there are other things to think about — and she supposes he must be coping, in his own way. however that might be; it remains mysterious to her. ❝ i don't understand, ❞ she says, frowning gently, perplexed. ❝ will it be ... on the radio? ❞

[pluresque]

daniel doesn't know what he was expecting out of benji, hearing all this. defensiveness, maybe, or the same probably-practiced nonchalance he's just heard about being yanked into a horrorshow as a preteen.

not this. not really.

❝ yeah. wild's one way to put it — i'd give you the don't-do-drugs lecture, but i'm pretty sure d.a.r.e.'s probably not that relevant to you, these days. ❞ besides, he's getting more than an inkling that the blur of his twenties had less to do with drugs than it did something else entirely, if the weird fucking dreams he has some afternoons are anything to go by.

he shrugs a shoulder; it was fucked up, sure, san francisco. he can't really seem to access the part of him that should be more upset about it — and not even because he's dead now. even in dubai, it'd been a flash-in-the-pan kind of anger, one fucked-up moment in a bigger fucked-up string that daniel just cared a hell of a lot more about unravelling, once he knew he was part of it.

❝ i was dying. ❞ not what benji'd asked, but in daniel's admittedly pretty limited experience, it's the easiest thing to lead with. ❝ i mean— obviously. everyone's dying, right? but yeah, i wanted a way outta that. back in san fran, too, so— ❞ he interrupts himself, whistles lowly at the sight of the building. ❝ so you're not the demographic worrying about rent in the city. ❞

❝ you're a publicist's nightmare, huh? ❞ he asks, taking a drag from his cigarette, releasing the smoke in a soft laugh. oh, he's sure whatever team daniel had behind him was in over their head — particularly now.

as daniel recounts his relationship with armand, however, benji gives a long whistle. that's intense, he means to say. for all his love of armand, however, it tracks. just like the book's retelling of the paris coven, benji's never felt like the monstrous sides of armand were a secret. the creature that killed fox might have been terrifying if fox wasn't more of a monster. and while he worried about armand in the aftermath of his relationship with louis, with the release of the book, he also knows that to reach him is decidedly easier than it is for daniel. he wasn't cut off by the maker and fledgling rules.

❝ sounds like you really got the whole 70s experience, ❞ it's a joke to something that sounds decidedly dark. ❝ i hear it was a wild time. ❞ he takes a moment though, to add a more serious afterthought, dark eyes more sympathetic as he glances to him, stopping only for the crosswalk ahead.

❝ but for what it's worth, that sounds markedly shitty. ❞ it's a condolence, so to speak, waiting for the walk sign to flash to cross. ❝ did you want it — i mean, being a vampire. i can say he doesn't take it lightly, i know that much. ❞ as long as he'd known armand, he was deadset against making others. he'd watched him, with all the confusion of a child, when he grieved his and sybelle's transformation.

but even with daniel's explanation, it's still confusing. ❝ look, i'm as confused as anyone about what he gets up to. whatever he's thinking, welcome to our undead family. ❞ as he begins to cross, he points upward towards the skyline, to where he can see the outline of their building. ❝ that's where we're headed. ❞

[pluresque]

whoever's taught benji how to handle himself — riccardo won't kid himself, he's certain that he knows exactly who it is — they've done a good job. something far-off from the fear of strangers that everyone seems to have in this age, but a healthy amount of suspicion.

fair enough. riccardo has not exactly made himself unsuspicious, tonight.

❝ real friend, ❞ he promises. ❝ — you could say we grew up together. ❞ it would only be half-true, but there are stories behind the whole truth that riccardo isn't about to tell tonight. most of them aren't his to tell, in any case, and he has no idea what armand's said about any of it, anyway.

hands out, placating, riccardo smiles. ❝ i've been out of the world for a little while, ❞ he admits, chagrined. ❝ my social skills aren't what they were. but there's a twenty-four hour café i think i passed on my way here, if you'd like to go someplace that isn't by a dumpster. ❞

he's certainly not about to invite himself into benji's home. that would be too presumptuous, and riccardo's isn't a complete fool.

❝ it's your choice. ❞

he'd learned caution young although, admittedly, there were times it had trouble sticking. he'd been a kid with responsibilities for as long as he could remember, a child that maneuvered in and out of dangerous situations, who thought he knew better than most ( until he didn't ). at times, he still struggled, no matter how much time passed, no matter how old he was mentally, it was as if the impulsivity and recklessness had a way of overriding common sense now and then.

being a vampire was like getting all the strength against human predators and discovering that other vampires were creature to fear. but, with armand as a protector, with the endless protective energy between himself and sybelle, he was okay. and the ancient blood? yeah, that helped too.

❝ riccardo, ❞ he repeats, arms remaining folded as he maintains a careful distance from the vampire. it's when he says he's a friend of armands, however, that his eyes soften curiously and that he relaxes a little. maybe he's a little too awkward to be a threat.

❝ so real friend? or enemy looking for him, because i don't know where he is. ❞ he believes him, but he's showing caution. ❝ but you've got a point, i'd probably be a little alarmed if you showed up at my door. it's just surprisingly new, meeting someone at a dumpster like this. ❞

[pluresque]

❝ like i care about what social media thinks. ❞ never has; it's why his agent officially confiscated his twitter account back in 2020, when he wouldn't stop picking fights out of sheer unadulterated boredom with right-wing morons, and started tweeting from daniel molloy's team instead. no great loss, there, daniel figures — although maybe he should get back on there now, see what everyone's got to say about the book.

it'd be entertaining, if nothing else.

benji's question gives daniel pause, though, because— yeah, well. isn't that the million-dollar one. what is all that about? it's something that daniel's been turning over in his mind, too, ever since dubai— ever since he woke up dead and his brain suddenly found its own skeleton key and started unlocking all kinds of doors for itself.

❝ good question. ❞ he pauses again, takes a long drag of his cigarette while he thinks about it. ❝ officially? he spent a week in the seventies maiming me, and then wiped it all outta my head, and then fifty years later i blew up his relationship and he turned me into a vampire. ❞ one of the things the talamasca'd wanted out of the book — looked too much like a conflict of interest, they said, and it'd compromise the rest of his bibliography. no problem. what's a little worrying is figuring out when, exactly, all these opened doors in his head lead to. he figures it might be possible this isn't even the first time he's met benji. it's kind of unnerving. ❝ unofficially, though? ❞ daniel shrugs, gives benji a wry look. ❝ your guess is probably better than mine, these days. ❞

show off, he hears, and soft laughter lifts in the night air, smoke exhaled from his lungs.

❝ if you can do it, why not? my powers were like a trick or treat bag, mostly worthless, but a couple of good things. ❞ and he's had the last couple decades to try to hone them further. there's some things, he thinks, that are naturally harder and that he's limited in doing because of the age he was made. if it weren't for the ancient blood in him, he imagines he'd be even weaker. but the fire gift had been where he excelled the most, surprisingly and startlingly so the first time he recognized what he was capable of.

there's a reason kids shouldn't be vampires and benji doesn't think it has anything to do with some archaic laws written in the book.

❝ i didn't even have to pull out the shameless pleading or good old, what will social media say if you say no? ❞ he jokes, amused, but also grateful that it sounds like he's agreeing. he's an amateur podcaster compared to a well-established reporter, but nowadays, he thinks, it could be just as good. ❝ you seem to be doing alright with those tv appearances, ❞ he compliments, though pauses, thoughtfully. ❝ so you and armand, what's that all about anyway? ❞

[pluresque]

daniel doesn't point out that there's a reason they never met. seems kind of impolite, right now, and if benji's read the book — which he obviously has — then he already knows exactly what that reason is, anyway.

show off, he thinks, the mental equivalent of muttering it under his breath; loud enough that benji can probably hear it, anyway. he might not be able to set anything on fire just yet, but daniel's got the mind shit nailed, second-nature like breathing isn't anymore. feels like a pretty fair trade-off.

he doesn't say it out loud, because he's too busy laughing, surprised — caught off-guard for the third time, tonight, having the kind of déjà vu that makes him feel like he's looking in a fun-house mirror. jesus— armand must love this kid. ❝ wow, you're a natural, ❞ he says, following after benji and working through his cigarette. ❝ feel like i should warn you, though, reporters make the worst interviewees. ❞

benji knows that he's thrown a wrench into what daniel knows. it's not contradictory, he thinks ( though he hardly knows what all he knew that hadn't been put to paper ).

❝ yeah, ❞ he agrees, though he really only knows as much about claudia through daniel's book. for good reason, it was a touchy subject and not one he'd approached with anyone following what he'd read. ❝ kind of wish we could've met. not too many like us out there. ❞ and it was better that way. there shouldn't have been kids like him. but it would have at least been someone that understood it a little better.

when he takes the cigarette, benji's smile reappears. it's kind of like an olive branch, right? taking one of his own, he pockets the pack and lights it effortlessly, habitually even, with his mind. he might not be able to make other vampires and he isn't sure he has the physical strength to fight even those younger than him, but there were some powers that had been almost innate — fire was one of those.

❝ follow me, ❞ he offers, taking a drag of the cigarette, starting off down the sidewalk where he'd originally been coming from. ❝ look, if you're ever interested in talking to believers — i've got this podcast, we talk about all kinds of shit, vampires, ghosts, your book. ❞

[pluresque]

daniel feels like he's on a goddamn tilt-a-whirl of information. none of it sounds like anything he'd gotten out of dubai, either, and it's not that daniel doubts what benji's saying — if anything, he figures benji has less of a reason to lie to him about any of this than literally anyone else he's talked to about it. including louis, whether he knows it or not.

same old song and dance.

he wonders if the reason benji never got himself shoved into a coven or subjected to the great bullshit laws was because of claudia in the first place. ❝ yeah, i obviously never got to know her, but from everything i've read, it sounded like she'd kill— ❞ some extremely specific people, ❝ — to have that. good to know you didn't have to deal with any of that shit. ❞

and he means it, too. daniel takes a cigarette and lights it — with a lighter, because there's some shit he's still working on — because, what the hell. he'd say this night can't get any weirder, but he's really gotten out of the habit of assuming that kind of thing. just feels like tempting fate, now. he blinks. case in point. ❝ ... sure, why not. ❞

benji has to stop himself from attempting to root around in daniel's head at his reaction. ❝ yeah, yeah, thirty-something and i look twelve. it's fucking crazy, i know. but the look on your face when i came up to you — worth it. ❞ he could use his age to his advantage, just as he'd been doing all his life. as much as he's interested in who daniel is, he also doesn't want to get into a discussion about what sucks about being a child vampire. that's something he's kept in a neat box for himself for a long time.

❝ looks like i'm older and younger than you at the same time. ❞ when mentions norms though, benji can't help but laugh again, dark eyes practically shining with amusement. he'd read the book a few times now, so he has a feeling he knows where this is headed. tucking the book under his arm, he fishes around his pockets for his cigarette pack, flipping it open to offer one to daniel first.

❝ claudia, right? is that what you're thinking about? i don't know about social norms. it's frowned upon, i guess. but i think our situations are different. i didn't have to join a coven to learn about vampires. i have a freedom i don't think she had. ❞ at least, from what he'd deducted from what he read. he can empathize with some of her struggles, whereas other facts about her were far more vexing.

❝ my sister and i have a place here in the city, if you want to continue talking somewhere other than the street. ❞

[pluresque]

oh, okay. so that's about a million worse than what daniel'd been worrying about, actually. not the part about him being armand's first, because that makes something in his chest do a complicated little twist. it's everything else that's something out of a fucking nightmare.

because here he'd been, blissfully assuming that armand's maker really had been set on fire and was a pile of ash somewhere by now. should've known the universe wasn't that kind of place; instead, it's the kind of place where apparently that asshole gets to turn some kid into a vampire. as if he didn't sound bad enough coming from louis's second-hand stories.

❝ jesus fucking christ. ❞ it's pretty much the only thing daniel can think of to say about all that — or, more honestly, it's the only thing he can think that isn't a fucking tirade that this kid didn't ask for. ❝ ... so you're, what, thirty-something? ❞

it's a hell of an easier question than how much past ten were you. daniel's not sure he really wants to know the answer to that one, anyway. ❝ isn't that, y'know— i only ask 'cause i just got to hear all about vampire social norms, and there was a whole thing about that. ❞

❝ after all the work it took catching you alone, no chance, ❞ he assures him, but takes the book when he hands it back. he knows how confusing it must be for him — but if he's honest, it was part of the fun. still, he should probably take some pity on him. as he goes on about wanting to hear from armand, however, benji frowns sympathetically. while he could call out to the vampire and while he's sure that he'd come for him or sybelle, he likewise knows he probably wouldn't be too happy if he tricked him into seeing daniel.

if he's being as avoidant as it sounds like he is.

❝ i'll give it a shot, if i see him. can't guarantee anything — he's hard for me to pinpoint right now. ❞ and he does worry about him. as long as he'd known armand, as long as he'd been a vampire, he'd known him to be with louis. he knew him to be deadset against making another vampire too — shit, he'd cried when he and sybelle were made. frankly, it could only mean there was something special about daniel. it's half of why he's curious about him ( other than the fact that he'd just published a book on their kind ).

when he asks if he's his maker though, benji laughs, shaking his head. ❝ armand? no, i think you're his first. he wouldn't make me, so his maker did. ❞ it's nonchalant, despite how much more he understands now. being twelve forever sounded fine when you were twelve. ❝ that was over twenty years ago. ❞

[pluresque]

❝ you gonna disappear if i hand it over? ❞ it'd run in the family— but daniel doesn't even know what the hell the family is, right now. he's not worried about armand reading his mind about this conversation, but— should he worry about him reading benji's mind?

jesus. if armand ran off and turned a kid, after everything, louis'll probably set him on fire or something. and despite whatever it is vampire bonds do, daniel's not even sure he'd be able to stop him if he did. he hands the book back over.

❝ well, listen, if you ever do get around to telling him that you got my autograph, could you throw in that it wouldn't kill him to say hi every now and then? y'know, maybe come to a signing or something? i'm feeling kinda offended, honestly. ❞ he's not. he's— something else. not the loneliness louis had talked about lestat talking about, not exactly. but bothered, sure; starting to verge on worried. over what he doesn't know. he can't stop himself from asking: ❝ ... he's not your maker, is he? ❞

benji frowns when he doesn't hand the book back over. his hand remains outstretched, however — expectantly. he figures that what he says is at least a little revealing to who he might be talking about. there were plenty of names in the book, but he doesn't think it's bias that tells him that armand is a clear answer as someone who didn't want to be written about.

❝ would you really be surprised if he did? ❞ he asks, because he doesn't think that there's any surprise that armand might read the book, despite having objections to it. benji heaves a sigh at his questioning, ❝ the autograph's real, ❞ he says and it was, even though it was also a front. he wants it signed, but that wasn't the extent of the approach.

❝ it's not phone tag either. in fact, the less he knows about our meeting, the better. ❞ he doubts he'd be pleased if he knew he was tracking down daniel. though, he couldn't stay away either, not once the book was published and not after learning that he'd been turned. ❝ least for now. ❞ pausing a moment, he adds, ❝ mind if i have the book back? i think we both know who i'm talking about. ❞

[pluresque]

❝ riccardo. ❞ he'd offer a hand, but it doesn't seem like benji's especially interested in getting too close, for the moment. fair enough; it makes him a lot smarter than riccardo was, at his age.

instead, he dips his fingertips into his pockets, and rocks on his heels. ❝ ... i'm actually a friend of armand's. ❞ no need to beat around the bush about it; it's not like he has anything to hide. not on this front, anyway; and it's better, riccardo thinks, to be upfront about this sort of thing. he'd rather not instigate a fight, or breed any further mistrust, if he doesn't have to.

❝ — i'm sorry, i know this isn't exactly the most polite way to introduce myself. ❞ in other cities, there might be conventions to it; track down a coven, make nice, get formal. but that doesn't seem to be the case, here.

good.

❝ i thought it might be better than knocking on your door. ❞

easier said than done when when he's been startled by a stranger. he's more prone to believe him only because he imagines a threatening vampire would have already made it known that he had ill-intent. why play games in the alley? thinking that, he considers might also be naive. benji takes extra caution, arms folding defensively.

❝ if you say so, ❞ he replies, when he says he's not there to start a fight. benji leaves the dumpster behind, a few careful steps taken in riccardo's direction.

❝ a friend? ❞ it's possible he knows those he's already met before, that their circle of vampires overlaps, but as he tries to consider it, he finds himself with more questions than answers. ❝ does my new friend have a name? i'm benji. ❞ even though he's receptive to him, he's still on high alert. to take him at his word would have been foolish on his part, but given that benji doesn't want to try to fight the other vampire, he's willing to hear him out. besides, his curiosity would never let him rest if he simply fought first and asked questions later.

[pluresque]

okay, what the hell. this is starting to feel less like a fan encounter and more like someone who's about to tell him that they think his book's bullshit and here's why.

there aren't a lot of options about who benji could be talking about, here. well— sure, lots of people get mentioned in the book, but the unwanted talamasca edits imposed on the thing pared things way the fuck down. daniel doesn't hand the book back over, just yet.

❝ but he got his hands on a copy anyway? ❞ yeah, there's exactly one person in there that'd object to being in there in the first place and still get himself a copy of the book. the question is, why he's sending some twelve year-old to track daniel down. for an autograph. who's the closest thing to— what the fuck. ❝ so is this some kind of phone-tag, or is the autograph thing real? i woulda sent an advanced copy, but, y'know, if that's who i think you're talking about, i don't actually know where he is. ❞

he knows what it looks like. if he hadn't planned it, if he hadn't been good at playing it up, he might have had more trouble not letting his amusement bleed into his expression or his voice. he approaches daniel with the boldness of a 12 year old fan ( though he doubts he really has many or any of those ), the smile plastered on his face, nodding.

❝ yeah, what you think i'm gonna sell it on ebay or something? ❞ he jokes, ❝ it's benji, ❞ he tells him, pausing only to give him enough time to sign it. it's a good cover to approach him with, but he'd also like the book signed. better to make sure he has that moment before answering the bigger question, the one that he can't help but chuckle under his breath about.

❝ mm, well, no ❞ he says with a touch of uncertainty, as if searching for the right words for how he got his hands on it. though, there would have been no barring a 12-year old from picking it up at a bookstore or library. however unfamily friendly. ❝ my — closest thing to — i don't think he's a fan, of the book anyway. not real big on being committed to the page, you know? ❞ he shrugs, ❝ at least, i'm sure you do know. ❞ he holds his hand back out for the book in question.

[pluresque]

he's just a child.

one of them, of course, and that makes him different than any actual child, but— still young. too young to have been turned; not just by the edicts of the covens, but by any measure. and young in the blood, too, if riccardo isn't much mistaken — no matter whose blood it might be.

❝ you can relax, ❞ he says aloud, easily, pitching at an angle and leaning his shoulder against the alley wall. ❝ i'm not here to start a fight. ❞

that doesn't, of course, mean that one won't get started anyway. but riccardo hopes he'll at least get heard out first. ❝ i'm a— friend, you could say. ❞

he senses riccardo almost immediately, alarms raised when he can't recognize him. while benji feared little, age had at least brought some caution around other vampires ( though impulse still won more often than it didn't ). dark eyes search the alley and quickly, he slams the dumpster shut on his recent kill and hops down from the other side and back to the concrete.

❝ don't give me trouble,❞ his thoughts reach out in warning — a premature threat was better than appearing weak. ❝ and i won't give you any. ❞ his fangs are still extracted, as if to remind he's no child, but a vampire, a killer the same as any other.

while benji doesn't consider himself particularly violent ( he feeds on evil men, rather than the innocent ), he knows the nature of vampires. he knows that he wasn't made with survival of himself in mind, but he's had good teachers.

@pluresque liked for benji a starter !!

[pluresque]

it's not the first time someone's come up to him cold like this, looking for an autograph or a quote or just for him to listen to their unsolicited review of whatever book of his they've got strong opinions about. a lot of it's been the climate change shit — but not all.

this is for sure the first twelve-year-old who's done it, though.

❝ ... you've read it? ❞ he blinks. this whole thing feels— weird. off, somehow, in a way daniel can't put his finger on — other than the obvious. or maybe he's just hungry, still. ❝ uh, no offense, and i'll take a fan any day over a critic, but— it's not exactly family-friendly reading. what, d'you nab it from your parents? ❞

he takes the worn copy anyway, pulls out a sharpie that he'd gotten shit for carrying around from his agent once — kind of arrogant, no? — and opens up to the cover page. ❝ —anyone i should make it out to? ❞

❝ mr. molloy! ❞ he calls out, a hooded jacket protecting him against the biting new york cold as he approaches the journalist once he's on the sidewalk. he's spent the night tracking him, attempting to take care to guard his thoughts, to hide his presence. he's not sure it's worked, but it won't matter much longer.

typically, he doesn't approach other vampires in new york ( at least those he didn't know ). despite having ancient blood, he's aware of his limits. child vampires weren't given the strength of their adult counterparts.

gripping a copy of his book in his hand, he jogs to catch up with him, purposely human in speed, coming around to stop in front of him. ❝ hey, would you mind signing my copy? i'm a big fan. ❞ he offers a boyish smile, his attempt at being as disarming as possible. the book itself is at least a little worn, he'd read it a few times already, had analyzed it on his podcast, pretending the names meant nothing to him. he'd been biding his time, waiting for the right moment to meet him.

@pluresque liked for a benji starter !!

[pluresque]

❝ weird shit, ❞ pandora echoes, a bemused little expression flitting across her features. she certainly knows all about that, having found plenty of weird shit online while rifling through the world's catalogue of music. conspiracies about everything from things from her mortal lifetime to the state of the skies above them.

fascinating, to join them among the unsolved mysteries that seem to captivate mortals so much.

❝ you'll tell everyone about us, on there? ❞ there are some who won't like that at all, she thinks — but pandora admires the audacity of it. why not? mortals aren't likely to believe it, not after everything. ❝ ... will other people be on the show, like radio? ❞

as she frowns, benji's smile grows. he's pleased to have her interested, and frankly, there's a touch of excitement that she's entertaining the idea at all. it's sometimes difficult to comprehend the lifetimes they've lived ( the lifetimes he could live ) and he imagines that all the knowledge and change is probably overwhelming. like thousands of pictures all at once in their memories alone.

he knows that he's sometimes seen with pity. every year that passed, he's become more aware of the shape he's stuck in, the consequences of his existence. but he's becoming king of blowing it off, focusing on what he can control.

❝ kind of, well, no. it'll stream online. digital signals, not analog. and pre-recorded. radio, you kind of have one shot. but we record it and people can listen whenever they want. as much as they want. you know, without old-schooling it with a cassette and a record button. they love the weird shit — like us. ❞