#ch:reagan

[brisfindings]

Reagan Dixon didn’t cry…

Reagan Dixon didn’t cry because crying meant you had feelings and feeling something was a weakness.

At least that’s what the blonde told herself as she power-walked across the quad in the middle of campus, her head bowed low as she avoided eye contact with those she passed in her time-sensitive mission to return to the quiet of her room before the tsunami of tears managed to push past her bottom lashes and prayed that she wouldn’t run into anyone she knew. This wasn’t a Reagan that appeared often and it was one she didn’t want people to come to know. It was far easier to allow the sarcastic, witty and questioning girl to take the center stage, the one that wasn’t afraid of anyone or anything. It was far easier to hide behind a carefully crafted façade than to admit there was a soft and rather sensitive center behind all that bite. No one needed to see that side of her, and she doubted anyone wanted to anyway – because she certainly didn’t.

The walk felt more like she’d run a marathon than a trip from one dorm building to another. Her books felt like cinder blocks as she released them on top of her desk, ignoring the way the smaller ones on top clattered to the floor, her hands already preoccupied as she raised them to her face, sucking in deep breaths as she paced the worn carpet, still willing herself not to cry. She wasn’t going to cry, not over her.

”She’s not worth it…she’s not worth tears.”

The whispers to herself were quiet as she dropped her hands to her sides, staring at herself in the mirror she’d propped up in the corner of her room. Her pale features made the way they red rimming her eyes that much more noticeable or the way her cheeks were flushed pink like she’d spent an hour standing and facing the wind and she hated every bit of it.

Reagan wrapped her arms around herself as she stepped closer, thinking about how she hated everything that love had done to her, the way it had softened her edges, the way it had left her so vulnerable. Vulnerable, she all but made a face at the word. How she loathed that word and everything it brought with it. Since childhood the young woman had taught herself to build up her walls high enough that no one could get it, high enough that the hurt couldn’t get in. Emily had changed everything though. Emily had been the one to scale her walls, left her the hope that someone cared enough to even try. In the end, Reagan had only been left disappointed, she’d been left hurt and vulnerable, the three worst things you could ever be.

Now she was left to wander alone in the quiet of her room what she had done….or perhaps what she hadn’t done to drive Emily into the arms and the bed of another girl. The thought brought a new wave of fresh tears forcing their way past her eyelashes as they splashed across her cheeks. Reagan didn’t fight them this time, she was too defeated to fight anymore as she sank to the floor, pulling her knees to her chest as she finally allowed herself to cry, really and truly cry as she buried her face against her thighs.

Reagan Dixon had been in love and all she’d been given in return was a broken heart.

Reagan Dixon didn’t cry…

But just maybe this was an exception.

[talesofalionheart]

Characters: Reagan, Nico, and Grace

Title: You & Me

“Nico, hurry up!” Reagan called over her shoulder.  An amused smile formed on her lips while she looked back at the love of her life. He carried all the shopping bags in his two arms, while Reagan only carried the baby in her womb. Nine months was about to come to an end, and she would be able to call the new baby her own. Still they didn’t know if it was a boy or girl, wanting to be surprised when the day would come. But she was at lost for names, unsure what to call their soon to be baby girl or boy.

“I’m coming! You try carrying all these bags,” Nico grumbled, trudging after her. Even if he didn’t show it right then, Nico was excited and anxious and nervous for the baby’s coming. He was excited he would be a father, anxious on the experience, and nervous if he could be a dad the baby could be proud of. In fact, he was frightened. Could he live up to the responsibility? Would he fail their baby boy or girl? Would he fail Reagan?

“Sorry. Can’t. I’m already holding a load here!” Reagan giggled, rubbing her enlarged stomach while they walked up the hill to her cabin. Although Nico insisted she stay with him in his cabin for the time being, Reagan didn’t like the thought of not being able to see where she was walking while in that state. So her siblings built a special room for Reagan under their cabin where she could stay there during the nine months and it can be turned into a nursery for the baby, until things were settled with Chiron.

Nico sighed, and kept walking after her. Reagan only giggled, until she felt the liquid trickle down her legs. Then an intense pain filled her, electrifying through her entire body. “Nico…” she said in a panicked voice.

“Yes, dear?” Nico said, still in his stubborn state of mind.

“Nico!” Reagan exclaimed louder.

It only took a few moments for everything to change drastically.

-

“Nico, shh, she’s sleeping,” Reagan whispered, looking over the crib sides. Down beneath, laying peacefully in the crib was their baby girl sound asleep. It was a week after she was born, and she hadn’t been too much trouble yet: sleeping, feeding, changing… Well, it was nothing for Reagan. On the other hand she had to teach Nico how to change a diaper.

“Nico, come here and help me!” Reagan called across the room.

“No. I’m fine right here, away from- oh god, is that small coming from that diaper?! Reagan!”

“Well, come here so I can teach you how to change it and it won’t smell anymore!”

“But Reagan! You’re doing such a great job. Why do you need me? You handle diapers, I handle… anything else but that.”

“Do you hear dad, Grace, daddy is scared of a whittle diaper?” Reagan said to Grace who laid across the changing table. Grace giggled in response, her eyes gleaming up at her mother. She had her father’s eyes, but Nico always claimed she had the same smile as her mother. Truth be told, she looked a lot like both. The only question was who she would grow up to be when she was older.

The news of the newest third blood had spread like a wild fire. Many people had came to visit the newborn from Cassidy and Elijah with their twin boys, to Aphrodite and Hephaestus. It was exciting, because third bloods hardly were born in camp. Though everyone who came couldn’t say she wasn’t an angel.

“Nico, get over here, or I’ll throw the diaper at you!” Reagan threatened, as she started to change Grace when Nico wouldn’t cooperate.

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Wanna take your chances?”

“......Yes,” Nico said unsurely, a hint of nervousness in his voice.

“Suit yourself,” Reagan smiled, a devious glimmer found on the edge of her lips. She started to finish cleaning up Grace, and placed the diaper on the side. All Nico could do was stare at the devil’s item. How could such a small, sweet, little baby make such a thing? He could swear all the gods and goddesses looking down at him were laughing, while his father only shook his head. He asked, “Aren’t you going to throw that away?”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because… y’know… It’s a diaper.”

“Oh, Nico!” Reagan cooed.

“Uh-oh,” said in realization.

Reagan picked up the diaper and gave him a pointed look. All Nico could do was widen his eyes in fear and the next thing Reagan knew a dark mist replaced where he stood. She laughed and threw away the diaper, returning back to Grace, picking her baby up. She kissed her forehead, “Maybe next time, right, baby girl?”

Grace giggled, a smile on her small delicate face, as if she knew what she was saying.

“Sorry,” Nico chuckled, coming up from behind Reagan. He wrapped his arms around her waist, looking over her shoulder looking at his little angel. “She’s so peaceful.”

“Looks a lot like you.”

“More like you… Hence she is a girl.”

Reagan rolled her eyes, “You know what I mean” and kissed his cheek.

One of the only people who could make him smile a genuine smile. “You know someday all the boys will be after her, right?” He told her. Reagan raised a brow, “And?”

“Let’s just hope they can run, because they won’t be able to hide.”

“Or are immune to fire…”

“It’s you and me, Rey. And now Grace as well.”