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penkura · 6 months ago

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knowing [6/8]

Summary: Sanji knew you were the one the moment he met you.

Pairing: Sanji x Reader

Warnings: None really. Normal One Piece stuff I guess.

Note: Its Whole Cake Island time!! :') This arc made me cry, I really like it at a lot. Sanji finding his raid suit is different than the canon, because I forgot how he found it. :)

[Ch. 1] ● [Ch. 2] ● [Ch. 3] ● [Ch. 4] ● [Ch. 5]

Arriving at Zou with the rest of your crew, you wanted nothing more than to see Sanji, hug Nami, and take a nap on Sunny. Bartolomeo's crew and ship were fine, but they weren't your home or family, it was hard for you to sleep without Sanji nearby and knowing Nami wasn't directing the ship and knew exactly where you were going. A few times you were afraid Bartolomeo's navigator was going to get you all lost on your way but eventually you made it, climbing up after everyone else and sticking close by Robin once you'd made it to the top.

The Minks eventually helped bring you back to everyone else, but Nami hugged you tightly after she'd hugged Luffy, whispering an apology that confused you.

"Nami, what–"

"Sanji's gone, I'm sorry. I couldn't…couldn't stop it."

Your head was starting to spin, you couldn't get any words out. Nami took your hand and dragged you away to the room the Minks had let her stay in, she explained everything.

Capone Bege's crew had shown up saying something about being there to retrieve Sanji, an arranged marriage between him and one of Big Mom's daughters being the cause. Nami told you even Sanji was shocked, but he chose to go with them to settle things and return to you all. He'd told her, Chopper, and Brook he never meant to hide anything from you all, and made her promise to give you a note he'd quickly written, which she did after she finished explaining, hugging you again while you sat frozen in place.

Sanji was being forced into an arranged marriage and you hadn't even been there to go with him or to stop him from going. The way it sounded, he wouldn't have even let you go with him, but you would have fought to do so. But, what did this mean for you two and your relationship? Only three of your crew members knew, what if he decided to stay and marry this girl, to leave you? Zoro and Nami would probably kill him if he did so and broke your heart, but you had faith in Sanji. You were certain he'd return to you, to the Straw Hats in general.

You were his family, not whoever these people who were forcing him into marriage were.

Nami left you alone a few minutes later so you could process what was happening and read the small note from Sanji, even though it ended up making you cry and hate yourself for staying in Dressrosa while he went to Zou.

[Y/N], my love,

I WILL come back to you. I'm not going to marry anyone that ISN'T you, I swear.

+!+

A while later, you heard a knock on the door that woke you from the small nap you'd fallen into. Thinking it was Nami, you didn't bother to check and told whoever it was to come in, being slightly surprised to see it was Zoro.

Not that surprised though, he'd made it clear to everyone, by his actions, that he thought of you like an older sister, and wanted to be sure you were all right.

"You okay? You never came down after Nami."

Sitting up a bit, you nodded and started brushing your fingers through your hair. You didn't want to talk much about the stuff going on with Sanji, but figured Zoro knew that when he came over and sat beside you.

"That idiot cook is in love with you, he's not gonna marry that girl."

"I know that." You passed the note over to Zoro, not caring if he read it. He did so quickly before handing it back to you, making you wonder if he really did read it or if he didn't care enough about Sanji to bother. Zoro, instead, ended up pulling you to him, which made you start to cry again. Not at all his intention, but you were so tired, physically and emotionally, that you couldn't help it. You'd been so looking forward to seeing Sanji, the last two years had been long enough away from him; now he was gone and on his way to try and get out of an arranged marriage, leaving you behind without being able to say anything in person.

Zoro was the only one who knew about Sanji's intentions to marry you. About the ring he'd bought in Dressrosa for you. There was no way he was going to let some stupid arranged marriage keep you two from getting married. Zoro knew that.

"You're going with them. Nami, Luffy, Chopper, and Brook are going after him, they're taking you along."

"O-Okay…" You nodded and sniffled a bit more, trying to calm yourself so you could go back to everyone. You could hear what sounded like a party going on, probably thanks to Luffy making friends with the Minks. "What a-about you?"

"I'm going on to Wano. You show up without that curly brow and I'm going to find him and kill him."

"Zoro, you can't just kill him."

"He hurts you and I will."

"Oh my gosh, you're the worst brother ever."

+!+

The next morning, your group split off from Zoro's group to head for Whole Cake Island. You thought the name sounded funny, but also were worried about entering the territory of one of the Four Emperors of the Sea. You'd heard Big Mom could be fearsome, and were terrified of meeting any of her numerous children for the same potential reason.

When you landed there finally, sticky from syrup rain and tired, you had no time to rest as Luffy and Chopper ended up eating an entire chocolate building, completely horrifying you as what appeared to be the police of the area appeared and were chastising them, until a girl with brown hair in pigtails showed up and played along that she'd asked them to do so.

She took you all to another building, introducing herself as Charlotte Pudding, the girl Sanji was supposed to marry in a few short days. Hearing her talk about him and how kind he was made you grip the hem of your dress tightly, biting your tongue until it hurt. You didn't want to feel jealous, Sanji's was yours, but you couldn't help it.

Pudding was pretty and perfect, and seemed more like Sanji's type than you. You wouldn't blame him if he agreed to marry her, but you knew he wouldn't. He'd never leave you after the amount of time you'd been together and how much you loved each other.

He…he wouldn't…right?

"He said he'd marry me if he could, but he wanted to return to his crew, and there was someone else he'd given his heart to."

While everyone else was shocked Sanji turned down a girl, Nami glanced over and caught you gritting your teeth, your lips pressed in a thin line. She knew you and Sanji were together, you'd told her and Robin after the events at Water Seven, and she hated seeing you this way. So worried and jealous at the same time. You should have been relieved to hear he told Pudding you had his heart, but it just scared you for some reason. Like it would be used by Big Mom or one of her numerous other kids as a way to hurt Sanji more than hurt you.

Nami reached over quietly and grabbed your hand under the table, squeezing it to let you know she was there. You gave her a small smile, which she knew was fake.

Once Pudding gave you all directions to the Seducing Woods and you were on your way, you stayed out on Sunny's deck, just watching the cotton candy clouds roll by.

"It's kind of pretty here." Nami hadn't startled you, you nodded at her when she spoke and came to stand beside you. "You've been lost in thought for a good while. Care to share?"

Shaking your head, you continued to stare at the sky, wishing none of this was happening.

"Hey, it's going to be alright. We'll get Sanji back and you two can go back to being grossly cute and in love with each other."

"What if he changes his mind?"

"Hm?"

"What if he changes his mind and decides he wants to marry Pudding? She's so pretty, how do I compete with the daughter of Big Mom?"

Rolling her eyes, Nami sighed and hugged you a bit. Of course you'd feel insecure about everything happening, Pudding really was pretty, but Nami knew that didn't matter to Sanji when it came to you. He'd always thought you were the most beautiful girl he'd ever met, but actually getting to know you over time, he'd told Nami he fell head over heels for your personality and your soul, your looks were secondary to everything else. Sanji loved you because of who you were, not what you looked like, despite his initial attraction to you being based on looks.

"You're not gonna compete with her. She said she wasn't going to marry him, right?"

"Yeah, but–"

"No buts, she said it's not happening. So unless she's lied to us, your relationship with Sanji will be fine. We'll get him back, don't worry."

You hugged Nami back and agreed with her, but still had a feeling of fear and worry in your heart. Nothing was right about all of this, you just had a feeling that something was wrong, but you weren't sure what it was. You didn't want to find out, you hoped your instincts were wrong, that the fear and worry would go away after a bit more information came to you.

You hoped for it, but also accepted that it was likely not going to happen.

+!+

"Sanji!!! Hey!!"

After being tricked by Pudding to the Seducing Woods, Luffy fought against one of the Sweet Generals, Charlotte Cracker, through the night. It took hours after you were separated from Brook, Chopper, Carrot, and Pedro, you and Nami safely atop one of the Homies thanks to Lola's piece of Big Mom's vivre card. Once he'd finally defeated him, the Homie you were on carried the three of you towards Totto Land, and you'd made it just in time to catch the carriage taking Sanji and his family to the castle.

But the look Sanji gave when he saw Luffy, then Nami, then you, you'd never seen such a horrified look on his face. Luffy flung himself to the carriage, catching Sanji up on everything that had happened since he was taken by Bege's crew, and you had some hope it'd bring him back to you all.

Until Sanji kicked Luffy from the carriage.

"Get lost…you miserable, inferior pirates!"

Your heart clenched, and you barely strained out his name.

"My name…is Vinsmoke Sanji."

A last name. You'd never known. Anytime you asked Sanji about his family or where he was from, he'd smile sweetly and tell you he wasn't at a point where he could talk about it yet. You accepted that answer, not wanting to push him into something he wasn't comfortable doing or talking about. You always figured you two would sit together one day when he was ready and he'd tell you everything. Never did you expect or want to find out this way.

"And I'm…a prince of Germa Kingdom!! Forgive me for hiding this from you!"

Please, [Y/N], I didn't want you to find out this way.

"Sanji, please." You stepped forward a bit, wanting him to stop and just come with you all.

I didn't need to know!

"If I had told you, it would only have made you self-conscious. The difference in status between us is obvious. Here, I have all the money, soldiers, and servants I can use!"

This isn't you. What have they done to you in a matter of days?

You hated it, every bit of it. This wasn't the Sanji you knew, it wasn't him at all. He never cared about money or anything like that. He'd always told you his past didn't matter, because all he could see was a future with you and the Straw Hats. Something had happened, in the few days you'd been apart, that changed the sweet, loving man you knew. What it was, you didn't know, you just knew something was wrong.

"If my choice is between returning to you and your chuckle-headed crewmates, and living in luxury here with Big Mom's beautiful daughter as my wife…which do you think will make me happier?!"

Nami was angry on your behalf, on the behalf of Luffy as well. For Luffy, because he'd been the one to recruit Sanji and convince him to go with you all.

For you because of your relationship with him, and the insecurity you'd felt after meeting Pudding. Your face was blank, but the tears welling up in your eyes made her even angrier.

"There's no comparison! Stop taking that letter seriously! I'm not going back!!"

Just leave, please! I can't have your blood on my hands!

You didn't want to hear another word, you actually wanted to take Luffy and Nami, leave and forget about this whole retrieval mission. At least, you thought you did, until the next thing Sanji said.

"I don't even know if you really can become king of the Pirates! I'm through playing pirate with your rag-tag crew," Sanji looked over at you, trying his hardest not to flee the carriage and pull you to him, he had to do something to keep you safe and even hated the next words out of his own mouth, "and I'm tired of playing romance, we're done."

"Sanji!!"

Luffy took it upon himself, of course, to try and fight Sanji to force him back. You stayed with Nami, Sanji's words replaying over and over in your head. You barely paid attention to the fight, even after Sanji returned to the carriage and Luffy yelled out to him that he'd never eat anyone else's food because Sanji was his chef, how he couldn't become king of the Pirates without him.

You felt a rush of adrenaline and ran up beside your captain who had just fallen to the ground, and took your turn shouting at the departing carriage.

"Sanji!!! I don't care what you said, I love you! You know I do!! I know we weren't just playing romance! I'll wait for you to come back too!!"

You didn't know if he actually heard you, but you hoped and prayed he did, while you collapsed by Luffy, the exhaustion of the last two days hitting you finally, along with the aching in your heart.

+!+

"Playing romance?? Is that what you've been doing as a pirate? Ha!" Yonji laughed at your shouted confession, while Sanji continued to cry over everything that had happened.

Luffy was determined to get him back, despite the fact he'd tried to drive him off, forcing you all to leave.

Nami slapped him which he knew he deserved, he'd hurt his closest friends and the pain from that was far worse than her slap.

And then you. You, his sweet, kind, patient, loving girlfriend, how could he do that to you, of all people? He was certain his family didn't know whether he looked at you or Nami, but when he locked eyes with you, the tears starting down your face as he just broke up with you, claiming it was just playing romance when he'd never do such a thing to you, it hurt him worse than anything else that had just happened.

Your yelling didn't help, he'd heard every word. You revealed your relationship on purpose so he knew you still loved him.

He didn't know how you could, of course feelings won't go away that quickly. Every day you'd tell him you loved him with a smile, sometimes that you hoped you'd have the chance to get married one day.

Sanji never understood why you truly loved him, why you wanted to marry him. He always refused to tell you about his horrendous family life growing up, but you always accepted it and said he could whenever he was ready. He told you he loved you first, and was surprised when you cried and told him the same, throwing your arms around him and kissing him.

He didn't deserve you, he knew that. He didn't deserve to have his thoughts be about marrying you, his late night wonderings about what your kids would look like. No, Sanji believed that now, he didn't deserve a life with you. Now you could go find someone who did deserve you, you weren't tied to him anymore. Maybe if you'd all go to Wano, you'd meet someone else, or even fall for Law or hell, he'd even expect Usopp.

Whatever was next, he thought you'd be better off without him.

She deserves better than a failure like me anyway.

+!+

"I can't believe you're letting him go like that." Nami tried to be angry as she sat beside you and Luffy, but she was struggling to even pretend. That bout he and Sanji just had was enough to cause her to slap the blond, out of frustration for Luffy and you. It didn't make her feel any better, but she thought maybe it would help you a little.

"I can't be mad at him." You admitted quietly, pulling your knees to your chest and setting your chin on them. "Could you see it? Did you hear his voice?"

"Of course I did! He just insulted Luffy and broke up with you in front of everyone that was here!"

"He's not doing it because he wants to!"

Nami was a bit surprised you shouted, but Luffy wasn't. He'd noticed the same as you did, the way Sanji looked at him in feign hatred that was really shock you'd all shown up, the way his voice wasn't normal, it almost quivered as he stated he'd become tired of playing romance with you and he'd chosen to quit being a pirate and accept his royal heritage.

"Everything was a lie, Nami! Everything that just happened, he doesn't want to do this to us!" You had hoped the syrupy rain would cover your tears, and it did, until you choked out a sob. "He's trying to protect us, I get that! It does hurt like hell to hear him say what he did, but…but he's keeping us safe as best he can."

Nami quickly moved over and hugged you tightly, apologizing for being upset about what had just happened. She knew that you knew Sanji better than any of them at this point, and your relationship may have been revealed to Luffy in a way you didn't want, but she was sure you and Sanji, if you could get him out of this arranged marriage, would be okay.

On the other hand, Luffy laughed a bit, giving you a big smile. "You're right! We'll get him back, and you guys can get married instead!"

"Sorry you found out this way, Luffy."

Shaking his head, Luffy just grinned with a giggle. "Don't worry about it. If you guys are happy, that's all good! You guys gotta get married on Sunny though!"

"If he ever wants to even think about marriage after this, I'd be glad to." Laughing as well, you knew it wouldn't be long before someone from Big Mom's castle came to capture you, and you would accept that for now. It might place you closer to Sanji in the end, for all you knew.

Luffy would rescue him, he just had to.

+!+

"That sneaky, conniving, little bi–"

"Hey, watch your language!"

Nami couldn't believe how angry you were, she'd never seen you so ready to harm yourself in order to get to someone else. Of course, the fact that Pudding just told the three of you the true intentions of this wedding, that she was going to be killing Sanji tomorrow, didn't help at all. You were struggling to get free from the nail-like candy trapping you in a cell, just as Luffy was though he was twisting himself to a point you feared he'd never come back from. Your anger was too much, you rarely ever swore and now Nami had heard you call Pudding and the rest of the Charlotte family a colorful array of names in about thirty seconds.

"How dare they! They think they're gonna kill the love of my life and get away with it?!"

"What about his family?"

"I don't care about them!!"

"You're gonna be a great daughter-in-law."

You stopped your attempts to escape and sent Nami a slight side eye, which made her roll her eyes. You'd never do anything to her, and she understood you didn't seem to be a fan of your possible future in-laws, but you really needed to calm down before the jailer caught wind of what you and Luffy were doing.

You hated how weak you felt, especially when Opera went to take Nami to get Lola's location out of her, but you were beyond glad when Jimbei showed up and freed the three of you, before you or Luffy could hurt yourselves further.

You followed your captain into the castle to try and find Sanji, but found yourselves pulled into another room and face to face with his sister, Reiju. Once she informed you that Sanji knew the truth about the next day, Luffy thanked her and jumped out a window to go to the spot he promised Sanji he'd be waiting at, but you stayed behind.

You really wanted to talk with Reiju.

"And you are? I know you were on the ship when I saved your captain."

"I'm [Y/N], I'm Sanji's girl–" you had to stop yourself, biting your lip and shaking your head. "I'm a member of the Straw Hats like Sanji."

You two were technically broken up at the moment, whether you accepted that or not. It felt like you couldn't call yourself his girlfriend right now, no matter how much it hurt your heart to stop yourself.

"Oooh, I see," Reiju smiled a bit at you, and you started to calm down. "You're the girl he told me about."

"He-He did?"

She nodded, still smiling at you. Once they had discussed the assassination plot, Sanji ended up telling Reiju a bit about you, and how he felt like garbage for breaking up with you the way he did, where he did. He'd even admitted he wouldn't blame you if you didn't take him back after all of this. He thought he was completely unworthy of your love now, you'd never take a failure like him back, and he just somehow knew he didn't deserve your forgiveness or love.

You deserved better than him, in Sanji's mind.

"He did, probably not everything but some things. Said you were the prettiest girl he'd ever met, and he was so in love with you."

Your heart clenched and you reached up to grip the necklace he'd found and bought for you in Water Seven. The little silver heart still made you happy anytime you looked at it.

"He hates what he did to you, and hoped that you'd take him back if he got to return." Reiju's smile softened as you started to cry, both hands tightly wrapped around your necklace now. "He thinks he should die with us tomorrow, but you need to help your captain get him out of here. The bracelets he's wearing are duds, he'll be fine if you leave with him."

"I…I'm so glad!" Your sobs were silent this time, while you started to smile so no one got suspicious of who was with Reiju. "The thought of Sanji marrying someone else has made me so sick to my stomach! But…just knowing he still loves me…is more than enough for the moment!"

You really did believe what you told Nami, that Sanji did what he had to in order to protect you guys and Zeff, to keep you from coming after him, but a part of you feared it was all genuine. That he didn't love you anymore, he didn't want to be a pirate or a cook anymore. It was just a small, nagging fear in the back of your mind, but now it had been squashed. You were no longer afraid or worried he had fallen out of love with you, cooking, or the sea.

He was still Sanji. Nothing had changed.

You thanked Reiju for the information, deciding to go find Nami again and leave the castle, when she stopped you and asked if you wanted to know about their childhood, how Sanji ended up in the East Blue, and about their mother.

Truthfully, you desperately did want to know, but you shook your head at her offer with a small smile.

"Sanji will tell me when he's ready."

+!+

You did find Nami and Jimbei, joining them in fighting to get out of the castle before you were dragged into the Mirro-world by Chopper and Carrot. Pedro was back with you as well, and you didn't fully understand why Big Mom's daughter Brulee or this guy named Diesel were with you, but if it helped you accomplish your goals, you figured it was ok. Your next task was to find Brook, and you did, nestled in Big Mom's arms as she slept, treating him like a stuffed animal. A few rescue attempts later you had him back, and he'd even gotten a copy of her Poneglyphs for Robin to read later.

Once you were all together, the only ones you needed were Luffy and Sanji, and you were lucky enough to find shards of the mirror that was destroyed in the place Luffy said he would stay. You were all able to get into contact with the two, everyone else cheering that Sanji was back while you held back your tears when he said your name, asking if you were there and all right.

"I'm here. I'm okay, don't worry."

"Oh, mon amour, I'm so, so sorry, I–"

"Sanji, we'll talk later. For now…leave things as they are. We have other things to do."

Hearing his soft agreement hurt you a bit, but you couldn't have such a talk with everyone else around. Not now, not here. Chopper and Brook asked you what was going on as you all headed for Capone Bege's place, and all you told them was that you and Sanji had been dating for a couple years, but were broken up for the moment due to the circumstances. They were both shocked you'd keep such a relationship secret, but also sad for the two of you to be in the situation you were in. You were certain everything would be alright once this wedding was stopped, once the assassination plot was ended, but until then, you'd keep your relationship status as broken up, despite the thought hurting you even more.

+!+

Upon arrival at Bege's place, you, Nami, and Carrot went off to take a much needed bath, Nami speaking and connecting with Chiffon thanks to her having been friends with Lola for the time you all were at Thriller Bark. Carrot was enjoying the bath greatly, and you were glad to be able to wash away the gross feelings of the last two days, but you weren't really looking forward to seeing Sanji yet. You wanted to hide in the bath the whole time, making Carrot nervous as you sunk down further, letting the water come up to your nose so you could still breathe. Nami wasn't that concerned, she knew you were still upset but you weren't going to do anything to yourself. You'd be fine after some time, once you and Sanji could actually talk.

You did eventually leave the bath, changing into the [f/c] dress that Chiffon had left for you. It hit about your knees and had long sleeves, but you did think it was a nice dress for the time being.

When you were on your way to the room Chiffon said this brief alliance discussion would be taking place in, you caught sight of Sanji about to go into the room himself, before he saw you. His eyes lit up and he told Luffy to go without him, turning and walking towards you, hoping you'd let him explain quickly.

"[Y/N]. I've missed you so much." You let Sanji hug you, returning it tightly and saying the same thing. It'd been far too long, you two hadn't truly been around each other since your arrival in Dressrosa, and that was a few weeks ago now.

You really had missed him.

Releasing you, Sanji took your face in his hands and placed his forehead against yours, making you start to tear up just because you had missed him terribly the last few days, you missed being so close to him, missed just holding his hands and talking to him, and were glad he was in front of you again.

"I'm so, so sorry. I didn't…I never wanted…"

"I know. It's okay, I understand, you were trying to protect us."

"It doesn't justify what I said to you," he shook his head, making sure you were looking him in the eyes so you knew he wasn't lying, "It's not just playing romance with you, you know that, right? You know I'm serious about us."

You nod, removing his hands from your face to just hold them, staying as close as you can be without hugging. "I know, but it's okay for the moment. We don't have the time to talk about this, but, once we're back on Sunny, we should sit and talk, all right?"

Nodding, Sanji agreed with you. There was no time to work this out right then, so you'd have to put it on the back burner and wait for now. Wait until this sham wedding was stopped, Big Mom would potentially be assassinated, and Sanji would be free from having to deal with his family ever again. You'd make sure they stayed away, even if it killed you.

"I love you. Only you, now and always."

"I love you too, Sanji."

Everything would be okay. Just a bit longer, and you'd all be back on Sunny and heading for Wano.

+!+

The assassination plot against Big Mom had failed, but so had hers against the Vinsmoke family, she was never going to have the technology from Germa now. Once the wedding cake had been ruined, her hunger pangs began and she started a rampage, but by then, you all had moved back to the Seducing Woods where Sunny was waiting, this time with Sanji alongside you. He'd rescued his family, before disowning his father who accepted that to your shock, and now he was wondering why you kept giving him odd looks.

"What's up?"

You just kind of looked him over, making him slightly nervous before you shrugged with a slight frown.

"You look better in black. White doesn't suit you as well."

"That…THAT'S IT?!" Sanji was only shocked for a moment before you giggled, saying he still looked handsome but black was definitely more his color. He'd thought something was wrong! It made him glad to hear that the 'problem' was just the color suit he'd been forced to wear.

You all were interrupted by a flying carpet carrying Chiffon and Pudding, the latter of the two wanting Sanji to go with them to make a cake that could satisfy Big Mom's cravings, even though she kept switching between seeming lovestruck by Sanji and wanting to kill him still. Despite your comment and reiterating of love for each other, you two hadn't properly reconciled your relationship, so for the moment, you were willing to let Sanji go if it meant stopping Big Mom's rampage.

Sanji, though, wasn't so keen on the idea of leaving you again, even though you would be with the rest of your crew, but you promised him you'd be fine. You knew how to fight, you'd throw a few shuriken and some kunai with trip wire or paper bombs to stop whoever came after you all. He gave you the quickest hug, holding your hand while he promised he'd be back as soon as possible, making you laugh.

"You'd better not be lying to me."

"Never in a million years, mon amour."

You barely took notice of the way Pudding looked at you until Sanji joined her and Chiffon on the flying carpet. She was looking at you like she knew, the entire time, that you were the one he'd told her he'd given his heart too. You never confirmed or denied it when you spoke with her the first time, but it seemed like she could tell. You didn't say a word to her, just nodded and followed everyone else back to Sunny.

You felt you could trust Pudding for now.

+!+

Luffy had disappeared into the Mirro-world with another of Big Mom's children, Katakuri, and you could assume a fight had taken place. Sanji had left with Chiffon and Pudding to recreate the wedding cake to stop Big Mom from rampaging through her own kingdom.

The rest of you had been able to get on board Sunny and away from the shore, now just trying to stay away from anyone that came towards you as you attempted to reach Cacao Island to reunite with your missing captain and chef. It took longer than you personally liked, and Big Mom had attacked Sunny as you all went on, Nami being the one to temporarily stop her by discharging lightning from a cloud Homie named Zeus, who she promptly captured as her own.

You'd all made it to Cacao Island in time for Sanji and Luffy to almost be thrown to the ship, making your getaway surprisingly with the help of the Germa fleet to keep Big Mom's fleet of ships from you.

It'd been a while since you were able to successfully escape from Big Mom and Totto Land, you sat relieved on the Sunny's deck, thankful to be on the way to Wano and to have Sanji back finally.

Luffy was laid out on the deck too, his stomach started growling after a bit which made you laugh.

"Hey uh," it was weird to hear Sanji sound so unsure as he spoke, but still it made you smile, "I could…make you a meal?"

He didn't have a chance to run before Luffy, Brook, Chopper, and Carrot were nearly mauling him at the thought of having his cooking, making Sanji ask if you all had eaten while he'd been gone. All of you followed him to the kitchen where he prepared food for you, making you the happiest by seeing him in his element, doing what he loved.

Of course, you two would need to sit and talk, but you'd already asked Nami to place you on the first night watch so you and Sanji could have a talk uninterrupted.

Once you finished eating, you quietly snuck out to go to the crow's nest and wait. You were sure Sanji would want to clean the kitchen and wash the dishes before he even thought about bed, so you had time to think about what you wanted to say.

Sanji noticed you were gone not even five minutes later, hoping you still weren't upset over everything that had happened.

"Where–"

"She's on the first night watch," Nami smiled at Sanji when she knew what he was about to ask, "She said she'll be waiting for you."

Nodding, Sanji turned back to the stove to finish the next batch of food Luffy had asked for. He'd definitely join you once he was done, but he'd worry and stress over what to say, how to explain himself if you'd let him until then. He prayed you'd take him back, that you wouldn't still be upset with him. He'd tell you everything, no matter how much it hurt him personally, you deserved to know what you'd gotten into with him.

Please….please just accept me still.

+!+

The sound of the hatch to the crow's nest opening woke you from your light nap, you quickly rubbed your eyes before looking to see who it was, grinning when you saw exactly who you'd been waiting for.

"Sanji!" He barely entered the room before you'd jumped up from your spot, fully awake now, and threw your arms around him, kissing his face while he tried to keep from falling with you.

"Hey, hey, calm down! You're gonna drag us to the floor!"

"Who cares?!"

He was able to stay upright with you holding onto him, setting you down after a moment. You smiled and once he'd closed the hatch, you dragged him over the bench with you, making him sit right next to you while you held his hand. There was no way you were letting him go again, not until you got to Wano at least. You also didn't want this conversation to last too long, you were sure he wanted to get out of that white wedding suit as soon as possible.

You were both quiet for a while, neither of you sure where to start, but you decided to break the ice by leaning closer and kissing Sanji on the cheek with a smile.

"I love you."

"How could you still love me after all of this?"

Humming a bit, you furrowed your brow seeing Sanji wouldn't look at you. He'd told you he loved you just the night before at Bege's castle, and you responded the same. Did he think you'd really stop loving him simply because of his family, because of this arranged marriage crap? All in a matter of a day?

"Sanji," you held his hand tighter, using your free one to make him look at you, smiling softly at him, "none of it was your fault."

"Of course it–"

"No, listen to me. Nothing that happened the last few days was your fault. You were being used by people who don't care about you like we do," you stopped to kiss him briefly, which caused Sanji to hug you so tightly, "they don't love you like I do especially. Nothing could stop me from loving you, Sanji."

Sanji severely did not want to start crying to you, he didn't want you to feel any kind of pity for him. You never would, he knew that, but it was just a small fear. He still was determined to tell you about his childhood, hoping you'd still want to be with him after you heard everything, after you learned how he ended up in the East Blue and working with Zeff at the Baratie.

But he knew deep down that you'd never leave him just because of what he was subjected to. You might want to go back and kill his brothers but you wouldn't leave him.

"I love you. I love you so, so damn much."

You hummed lightly with a soft smile, hugging him tighter and kissing the top of his head. "I love you too, Sanji; so much more than you'll ever know."

Sanji fully believed you. He knew you loved him and wouldn't leave him. You'd stay with him and continue to help him move on from his past, continuing to help him heal and plan a life with you instead.

He hoped you'd like that idea.

+!+

"Sanji, what do you want to do with this suit?"

"Burn it for all I care."

You laughed, halfway expecting that answer while Sanji got ready for the day. You two had spent your entire night watch talking, he'd told you all about his childhood and apologized too many times for your liking, but it all ended up all right in the end. When Nami came in to take over, you'd both fallen asleep and if Zoro was there, he and Sanji would be having an argument, but since it was Nami, she gently woke you both and told you to go downstairs and sleep. Sanji ended up picking you up bridal style once you two had made it down to the deck, making you giggle and hug him around his neck. You kicked your legs like a child and while he smiled, Sanji told you to be careful so he didn't drop you, but you knew he'd never. He had taken you to the women's bunks and was going to leave you in your bed to go to his own, but you grabbed him before he could go anyway and asked him to stay, which he gladly did so.

Now you were getting ready to continue onward to Wano, and you just wanted to know what to do with the suit he'd worn the day before. There really wasn't anything wrong with it, apart from the memories that would be attached to it and the fact you had said he looked better in black, Sanji didn't want to keep it at all.

You dug through the pockets to make sure he hadn't left his lighter or anything in them, before finding a strange black item with a 3 on it.

"What's this?"

"Hmm?"

Eyes widening at the item in your hands, Sanji stopped brushing his teeth and almost choked on the toothpaste in his mouth before spitting it out and snatching the item from your hands.

"How the hell did this get here?"

He didn't tell you a thing and started walking out to the deck, leaving you to follow.

"Sanji, wait! What is it??"

"Trash is what it is!"

Luffy and the others were on the deck as you two walked out, and when he saw the item in Sanji's hand he used his Gum Gum powers to stretch out and take it.

"Is this a raid suit like what your family had?!"

"A raid suit?!" Chopper's eyes lit up into stars, and he and Luffy started begging Sanji to try the raid suit, but he adamantly refused. He figured that his brother Niji must've been the one to give him the suit, saying he was the only one to actually have contact with him and Luffy when they were escaping Totto Land. Luffy and Chopper continued to whine and beg Sanji to try the raid suit, the two wanted to see what cool transformation would happen, but Sanji absolutely did not want to have anything to do with Germa's science.

"You might be able to shoot lasers!!!"

"Look, we don't need another person that can shoot lasers! It's enough that we've got Franky! I don't want that Germa science near me! In fact," he gave them both a small glare, "Don't ever say the words Vinsmoke or Germa around me! Both are forbidden!"

While the two whined, Nami brought up how she uses science herself, showing off Zeus who had made his new home in her climate baton, having chosen food over loyalty, when Carrot jumped down with the latest Coo News.

"It says here that Luffy, Sanji, Jimbei, and Bege attempted to assassinate Big Mom, and that Luffy was the ringleader!" She flipped the pages and a few bounty posters fell out when she did so. "Oh, new bounty posters."

You and Sanji both caught sight of one of them, you were excited and he was surprised.

"Ah!"

"Your bounty went up, Sanji!!"

You were so happy for him that you couldn't help it, you threw your arms around his neck laughing! No point in hiding your relationship now, not after a shouted confession and having to explain the situation to Chopper and Brook. The only ones who didn't know yet were Usopp and Franky, and you intended to tell them as soon as you met up with them in Wano.

"It's 330 million berries! Wait, what's the moss head's bounty?!"

"I believe," Brook answered before anyone else had the chance to, "it's 320 million."

"Yes! In your face, moss head!!" Sanji grinned and finally hugged you back, twirling just a bit with you, asking if you were proud of your super awesome boyfriend who had a higher bounty than Zoro. All you did was laugh and nod, you truly were proud of him!

"Oh hey," Chopper held another bounty poster in his hands and held it up to the two of you, "[Y/N]'s bounty went up to! It's 120 million now!"

"What?!" Your face went red as you took the poster from Chopper, absolutely shocked yours went up at all. You didn't think you'd been mentioned in the article, so you didn't expect this! "Why did mine double?!"

"Who cares, you should be proud!" Taking your face in his hands, Sanji kept smiling with heart eyes and rubbed his nose and cheek against your own. "My beautiful girlfriend is so strong!! I'm so proud of you!!"

"Sanji!!" You blushed even worse, not used to being able to show affection so openly, but you'd get over it at some point.

"Ah young love, yohohoho!"

You ignored Brook while Sanji got another look at his poster, instantly becoming depressed when he realized his bounty likely only went up because of his family and Germa, due to it having his last name on it.

Carrot brought the paper over to you, telling you to check the article again. Doing so, you read through and your face went pale reading a few sentences stuck in the middle.

"'The assassination plot was aided by another Straw Hat pirate member, by the name of [L/N] [Y/N], a young kunoichi from Yume Village, an offshoot of Wano. She's believed to be in a relationship with Vinsmoke Sanji.' I…are you freaking kidding me?!"

Instead of being depressed you became angry, realizing it was most likely because of your relationship that your bounty went up, not really because of anything you did. You almost wanted to hide the rest of the day, but decided it wasn't worth it in the end. Your bounty had increased, your relationship was out in the world, you'd just have to accept it.

Luffy became depressed himself, reading his new poster and believing it said his bounty had dropped to 1.5 million berries, before Brook read it aloud and corrected him.

"Your bounty isn't 1.5 million berries. It's 1.5 billion berries!!"

"WHAT???!"

Everyone was so shocked, you had to read the poster for yourselves, to make sure it was accurate, and it was! Luffy had such a high bounty now, you all were excited for him; you personally were a little concerned, but Luffy was strong so everything would be all right!

Instead of there being any kind of concern, Luffy laughed and was glad his bounty hadn't gone down. Nami nearly smacked him on the head for being so nonchalant about it, before Sanji suggested he could start on breakfast, which everyone agreed to.

"Let me help you!"

You grabbed Sanji's hand before he could step away, and he gladly agreed to let you help him make breakfast. He placed you on your usual task of chopping vegetables for the omelets that he'd decided would be perfect to start the day with. It was quiet for a while, both of you focused and working on your tasks, Luffy coming in every few minutes to ask when breakfast would be ready before Sanji kicked him out and told him soon. The last time it happened, before even turning back to his own work, Sanji stopped and hugged you from behind, making you giggle.

"I love you, [Y/N]."

"I love you too, Sanji!"

I'm gonna marry you one day, I swear it.

#one piece x reader #reader insert #sanji x reader #blackleg sanji x reader #knowing fanfic #fem!reader #black leg sanji x reader

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jjungkookislife · 7 months ago

Text

The Nanny [Ch. 4]

pairing: lawyer!seokjin x nanny!f.reader

genre: established relationship, parents au, fluff, 18+

summary: Jin needs a nanny for his son, but when he hires you, he gets that and so much more.

wc: 7.9k

warnings: pet names (baby, love), implied smut, angst, miscommunication (this was the scene I was stuck on for years), self-doubt, make-up sex, unprotected sex, creampie

date: May 4, 2024

The holidays come and go in your new home, ecstatic to decorate with Dae and Jin. Your family and his get along so well, and everyone dotes over Dae-Hyun, who shies away from so much attention.

With his birthday coming up soon, he’s due to enroll in pre-school and it leaves your heart feeling heavy. You weren’t ready to part with Dae just yet, your life had been nothing but him for almost 2 years, and the idea of sending him off, even if it was just half a day—left you sad.

Seokjin was faring much better though, he was used to leaving Dae at home when he had to go to work, and even though it was rough, he was having to come to terms with the fact that he wouldn’t get updates as often from his new preschool teachers. However, Dae needed to socialize with his peers, make new friends, and learn in a school setting to prepare him for Kindergarten in the fall. Seokjin wasn’t looking forward to that either, the thought had anxiety brewing in his belly.

“What if I homeschool him?” You asked as you stroked Dae’s hair while he slept between you and Seokjin.

Seokjin sighed, shaking his head. “He needs to go to school, baby. We can’t be his only friends.”

“But he’s my little buddy,” you pout.

“We’ll meet his teacher tomorrow and see how it goes. Nothing is set in stone just yet but he should at least go to get acclimated before school starts in the fall. We won’t be there to hold his hand and guide him,” Seokjin reasons as he places his hand over yours.

“I guess you’re right,” you acquiesce, biting your lip before you settle into bed.

“It’s gonna suck,” Seokjin chuckles and your frown deepens. “But it’ll be good for him, I promise.”

“I trust you,” you say, muffling a yawn but Seokjin notices it.

“Go to bed, baby. We'll handle this tomorrow,” you nod, yawning as you pull the covers over you, making sure Dae isn’t covered from the shoulders up.

“Good night.”

“I don’t like it,” is the first thing you say when you step into the large brick-stone building with Dae clutching your hand. Seokjin shakes his head, trying to hide a disbelieving smile.

“It’s been two seconds,” he giggles as he places his large palm on your lower back. He grins when you reach the front desk and your heels click against the marble floor. Portraits litter the wall and a giant bouquet of fresh flowers sits on a table in the middle of the foyer. Chairs that must cost a fortune line the walls in the sitting area, and Dae clings to your side as a few adults walk from one end of the hall to the next.

“It’s so big,” Dae whispers as he looks around. He squirms at your side and you hope he’ll be okay coming here in a few weeks without you. The thought sours your mood further.

“Hello, I’m Kim Seokjin. We have an appointment to tour the grounds and meet my son’s new teacher,” Seokjin says to the secretary as you debate carrying Dae-Hyun and making a run for it. You take a step back and Seokjin turns to face you, raising a dark brow, jaw taut as he eyes you with a firm glance almost daring you to even try it. He lifts the car keys with one long finger and you huff.

“Of course, Mr. Kim. Your family can have a seat, and I will page the teacher up front. It’ll just be a moment,” the secretary informs him and motions for the chairs lining the wall. Seokjin thanks her before he tilts his head in the direction of the chairs.

Ruefully, you lead Dae to the chairs and pull him onto your lap. You squeeze him in a hug for a second as Seokjin sits beside you.

“Baby,” he starts, sighing heavily before licking his lips. “It’s an excellent school with great reviews, and I did background checks on everyone. He’ll love it here.”

“I have to come here?” Dae asks his dad with wide eyes.

“This is gonna be your school, buddy. We’re gonna meet your teacher in a second, okay?” Seokjin asks and Dae nods but looks at you for assurance. You plaster on a smile and thankfully don’t have to say anything as a woman walks up to the three of you, introducing herself as Mrs. Hart.

Dae-Hyun shyly introduces himself, his manners overcoming his shyness, and you couldn’t be prouder. You set him on the floor before rising, linking your hand with Jin’s as you follow Mrs. Hart.

The tour starts with a history of the school, but you don’t pay too much attention as you walk down the hall. You skimmed the brochure on your way here and stuffed it in the crease of your seat before getting out of the car.

Dae-Hyun holds his father’s hand as he walks, marveling over the art that litters the walls on the way to the classroom. The four of you come to a stop at room A-1, and Mrs. Hart opens the door, allowing you inside before she follows.

The classroom is rather large, with three tables separated by bookshelves stuffed with books, coloring boxes, and art supplies. On the opposite end of the room is a large rug, a few bean bags, and more shelves containing toys and books. There’s a play kitchen and a science center with a giant fish tank that immediately gets Dae’s attention.

Mrs. Hart is happy to show him around the room while you stay back with your boyfriend.

“What do you think?” Seokjin asks you in a soft tone, to not get the teacher’s attention. You take in the room, there is nothing too extravagant that stands out. It was a typical classroom, more modern than any you had ever taught in before but it was nice and it appeared clean.

“Where are the kids?” You muse as you see the names of children written on the cubbies.

“They’re out in the playground with my assistant, Miss Daisy. We can go out and meet them if you’d like?” Mrs. Hart chimes in and Dae-Hyun nods before asking his father if it’s okay.

“Sure, Dae,” With Seokjin’s consent, the four of you go out the back door and down the steps that lead right to the playground. There are a lot of children running around but Miss Daisy is accompanied by two other assistants to watch the children as they run and climb on the playground. A few kids look over curiously and two come over to say hi.

“Do you wanna play?” One of them asks and Dae looks at Seokjin, who nods. Dae smiles as he runs off with the kids and Mrs. Hart introduces the staff.

“He seems like a wonderful child,” Miss Daisy comments as she sees Dae already laughing and playing with more children.

“He’s a little shy but he seems to like the playground.” you keep a watchful eye on Dae-Hyun, never losing him in the array of children.

“Is this his first time at school?” Miss Daisy asks and Seokjin nods. Mrs. Hart explains the transition process, going into great detail about their rules and policies and the assessments to see where he’s at.

As much as you don’t like the thought of being away from Dae-Hyun, it eases your heart to see him having so much fun already. He pouts when it’s time to go back inside, talking your ear off as Seokjin handles the paperwork.

“Can I come back soon?” Dae-Hyun asks you as Seokjin shakes Mrs. Hart’s hand once they’re done.

“Of course,” Mrs. Hart smiles at Dae. She motions for him to join her, taking his hand and leading him to a cubbie. “This will be yours when you come back and see me. We’ll have your name right here and we’ll have all your stuff ready for you, Dae-Hyun. After your birthday, we’ll have you here with us!”

“Yay!” Dae-Hyun cheers before returning to Seokjin, who picks him up in his arms. He was getting a little too tall to keep doing so but Seokjin would carry his son until he couldn’t anymore.

“We’ll see you in a few weeks,” Seokjin says as he starts to say his goodbye.

“We look forward to it!” Mrs. Hart exclaims, clapping her hands together.

“Bye!” Dae waves at his teacher, who waves back. Seokjin heads into the hallway as you take one last look around, maybe it wouldn’t be too bad.

“We look forward to seeing you soon. You have such a lovely family, Mrs. Kim,” Mrs. Hart says with a wave. You thank her before following Seokjin, your heart fluttering in your chest.

Mrs. Kim.

“What did you think?” Seokjin asks you that night when he gets into bed beside you. He’s already sleepy but still wants your opinion on the school. You couldn’t talk freely until Dae had gone to bed and showers were taken before bed.

“It’s a nice school,” you say. “I think Dae will like it. It’s just hard to let him go.”

“Trust me, I know. But it’ll get a little easier,” Seokjin assures you. After all, he is his son so of course, he’d know. You just weren’t used to leaving Dae, much less after moving in with them.

“It’ll take me a bit to get used to. What am I supposed to do while he’s gone? Mrs. Jenkins already does the cleaning and packs his lunch,” you frown.

“You could go to the spa, or maybe meet up with your friends,” Seokjin suggests as he wraps you in his arms. “You’ll have more time for yourself. I know you haven’t had much lately.”

“But I like caring for Dae. That’s why you hired me in the first place,” you look at him over your shoulder.

“And now things have changed, baby. You’re still just as important as you were, just with more free time. How about we open a joint account tomorrow so you have some more spending money?”

“Seokjin,” you sigh. “I don’t want more money.”

“Okay, a car?” Seokjin suggests and you huff. You know he’s just teasing you, you’d denied every attempt of him buying you a new car. Yours worked perfectly fine and it’s not like you did a lot of driving now that you lived with him. Seokjin preferred to drive and you loathed it, so it didn’t matter much to you.

“Don’t stress about it too much, baby. You don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. I’m sure you’ll find ways to occupy yourself. Besides, we need to plan Dae’s party starting tomorrow, and if you want,” Seokjin grins mischievously. “We can work on making another baby.”

“That’s a big decision, baby. Are you sure?” you ask, sitting up to look at your boyfriend. He sits up as well, taking your hand in his.

“I’m sure, love. You’re the only one I’d even consider as the mother of my children. I don’t want anyone else,” he leans in, capturing your lips with his, guiding you to the bed where he kisses you until you’re crying out his name.

The next morning is filled with ruckus. You’ve got the kitchen island in disarray as you look over notebooks and business cards, a tablet opened to a party planner, a laptop displaying your idea outlines, and Dae-Hyun on your lap telling you about all the things he wants for his party this year.

Mrs. Jenkins hovers nearby, knowing it’s no easy feat to plan a party, especially with a child on your lap. She offers to take Dae from you but your sweet boy will have none of it.

“And a bounce house,” Dae-Hyun finishes as he places his head on your shoulder. “We need one of those.”

“So you want dinosaurs,” you pause as Dae roars with his arms high in the air, hopping off your lap to stomp around the kitchen. “And a dinosaur cake?”

“Please,” Dae smiles as he gets back on your lap with your help.

“Sure, baby,” you kiss his cheek as you show him a few pictures on the tablet, liking anything he shows excitement over. Seokjin has given you a budget with promises to help here and there but he knows you enjoy planning events and schedules, so this is your domain.

Last year, Seokjin had thrown a small Paw Patrol party with cake and goodie bags before calling it a day. This time, there would be more children attending, including the ones Dae met at school.

Dae-Hyun loses interest after a while and you continue to plan his party and take notes while Mrs. Jenkins gets Dae-Hyun his lunch.

Slightly overwhelmed by all the options, you decide to bookmark your favorites before setting your tablet aside and having your lunch. Soon it’ll be time to put Dae down for a nap and Seokjin had promised to get off work after lunch. He should be home any moment now.

Just as lunch is wrapping up, the front door opens and Seokjin sings, “I’m home!”

Dae-Hyun grins giddily as he dances in his chair when his father walks into the kitchen. Seokjin greets Dae then you with a kiss on the top of your head.

“You’re home!” Dae claps in excitement and Seokjin nods.

“I left early to see you,” he states as Mrs. Jenkins finishes washing the dishes. Seokjin allows her to end her day then if she’d like and she thanks him before rushing out the door with a see you later.

Seokjin shoots you a confused look and you chuckle. “Dae’s been excited over his p-a-r-t-y.”

“Oh,” Seokjin laughs. “What’s the theme this year?”

“Dinosaurs!” Dae shouts as he roars, and Seokjin pretends to be terrified.

“This little Dino needs a nap,” you state as you pick him up in your arms, and a pout forms on his lips.

“But Daddy,” he cries softly.

“I’ll be up in a second, bud. I’m just getting a drink,” Seokjin assures his son as you head up the stairs to Dae’s room.

He yawns, rubbing his eyes as he goes to grab his pajamas, heading to his bathroom to change and potty before coming to his bedroom.

“Daddy and I will be here when you wake up,” you say as you pat his bed. Dae nods as he steps closer to you, rubbing his eyes.

“Nap time!” You sing as you scoop Dae up in your arms. He finally squeals, laughing as you press several kisses to his cheek. His mood lifted.

“Mommy! Stop!” he squeals, kicking his little feet. You pause, eyes wide as your heart races. You weren’t a stranger to being called mom, mommy, or any variation of it in your field. After all, it was easy for kids to get confused and when they trusted you as much as their parents.

However, this was the first time Dae had called you mommy, and you weren’t sure how to feel. You simply smiled, kissing his head as you asked him what story he wanted you to read. Seokjin lingered by the doorway, a frown on his lips.

“And they lived happily ever after,” you read, closing the book shortly after only to see Dae-Hyun fast asleep clutching his teddy bear. You plant a kiss on his forehead and wish him sweet dreams.

Seokjin is waiting for you in the hallway, with the baby monitor in your hand as he motions for you to join him in his office.

When you enter the office, Seokjin is already in his chair, his face hidden in his large palms, and your heart immediately sinks to your stomach. You haven’t seen Seokjin this distraught since his failed blind dates set up by Namjoon.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” you ask, setting the baby monitor on the desk before going around to your boyfriend. He sighs heavily before raising his head.

“He called you mom,” he spits the word like it’s vile.

“Jin, this happens often with children. I’ll talk to him when he wakes up,” you assure him, but Seokjin shakes his head.

“You’re not his mom and he’s calling you mom. This isn’t right,” Seokjin huffs, a hand carding through his hair.

You step back.

“I may not be his mother, but I love him as if he were my own. Seokjin, what is going on?!” You can’t help but be hurt. Hadn’t he said he wanted a family with you? Shouldn’t this be a good thing? You weren’t trying to replace his mom, nor would you ever abandon Dae, so what was going on?

“I just don’t want Dae to get confused,” Seokjin says sharply.

“I thought you wanted us to be a family? Wouldn’t you want him to see me as a mother figure?”

“Baby-”

“No, you obviously don’t know what you want. You can’t tell me you want me to have your kids and then get all out of sorts when your son calls me Mommy. What is it you want? Because I can’t take your mixed signals, Jin! Either you want us to be a family or you don’t! I already said I’d talk to him, but what’s so wrong with him calling me his mom? I’ve been here for him for half his life now and I don’t plan on going anywhere! What’s wrong with you?” You can’t help but hiss, stepping out of his office.

“Baby!” Jin calls after you, but you ignore him, heading to Dae’s room to cuddle him. He may not be your biological child, but that didn’t mean you loved him any less.

It’s awkward.

It’s been two days since your discussion with Seokjin. Your feelings are still hurt by his harsh words and tone. You’d tried your best to be normal around Dae, but you could tell he was noting the tense atmosphere.

You’d taken to sleeping with Dae or in the guest room, something Seokjin had protested the first night, but let it go when you glared at him.

Seokjin felt bad, and he apologized when Dae had gone to bed that night, but you couldn’t forgive him just yet. He’d hurt you and you needed some space. You tried your best to plan Dae-Hyun’s birthday party, spending your days planning and calling businesses to book them for the day of his party.

“We’re going to my mom’s for a bit,” Seokjin announces when he walks into the kitchen with Dae-Hyun in his arms. For a few seconds, Dae wiggles in his father’s arms before Seokjin sets him down. His son doesn’t hesitate to run to you, your arms open and ready to welcome him in.

“Come here, baby.” You press a kiss on his head. “Are you gonna have fun tonight?”

“Can you come too?” Dae asks as he hugs you close.

“Not this time, buddy. I got secret birthday stuff to do,” you whisper, kissing his cheek as he giggles.

“It’s almost my birthday, right? We’re having a party!” He exclaims as he runs back to Seokjin. He takes his dad’s hand, waving as he talks about his party and the cake.

Seokjin gives you one last look before he heads out of the kitchen with his son. You watch them go, sighing as you shake your head in a poor attempt to clear it.

Papers lay scattered on the kitchen island, most of them were the final decisions for the party. You’d chosen invitations with Dae, showing them to Seokjin for approval, but he had said he’d love whatever you chose for the party.

The little T-Rex on the sample invitation stared back at you, Five-a-Saurus.

Cute.

Sighing, you hope you can have a serious discussion with Seokjin to find out where you both stand. You had honestly believed you were heading toward marriage and what about all that talk about being a family and expanding it? How would that work if he didn’t want Dae to see you as his mom? Had you done something to make him think you weren’t up to par?

You needed to get this cleared up as soon as possible.

Seokjin’s been at his parent's home for an hour now, making small talk and whatnot until his father takes Dae to the backyard to play. Seokjin waits until his son is completely distracted before turning to his mother.

“I don’t know what to do, Mom,” Seokjin sighs, his chin resting in the palm of his hand as he watches his son through the glass door playing with his dad. He had explained the entire conversation with his mother over text this morning, nearly in tears as he asked to come over to see her.

“You can’t let one bad experience haunt you for the rest of your life, Jin. So what if Lena didn’t want to be a mom? It’s her loss. She can’t keep you from loving someone else. Has Y/n ever given you a reason not to trust her?” Seokjin’s mom asks.

“Well… no?”

“She loves you and Dae so much. Anyone could see that. She loves both of you so much, and that’s all I could ever ask for. It broke my heart when Lena walked out. She left Dae without a mother and then Y/n walked into your life like a breath of fresh air. There’s no doubt about it, son, she’s in it for the long haul. She treats Dae like her own, and she loves you immensely. Even I can see that,” she chuckles, placing her hand over her son’s.

“I fucked up, didn’t I?” Seokjin asks, feeling remorseful.

“Language!” His mother exclaims but nods. “You fucked up.”

Seokjin knows it must be true. This is the first time he’s ever heard his mother cuss, so he knows he totally fucked up, and now he’s got to fix it.

“Can you keep Dae for tonight? I’ve got a lot of groveling to do.” Seokjin rises from his stool, the stool screeches against the floor.

“Sure, call when you can,” his mother calls after him as he rushes out to the backyard, kissing his son’s forehead and promising to get him in the morning.

Dae is ecstatic to be spending the night with his grandma and grandpa, knowing he’s in for a day of being spoiled and maybe ice cream for dinner.

“Baby, I’m home!” Seokjin calls as he shuts the door after him, careful with the bouquet he had picked up on his way home.

“In the kitchen!” you call back, sending the last email you needed for Dae’s party. Dates were confirmed with the bakery, the party supply store, and the caterer. You felt lighter now that most of the party is taken care of and despite your fight with Seokjin, you’re hoping he’ll like everything you’ve picked out for Dae.

Seokjin is timid as he steps into the kitchen. You glance up from your laptop, raising a brow when you see the bouquet in his hands.

“What’s up?” you ask cautiously.

Seokjin bites his lips. “I wanted to apologize for how I reacted the other day and for what I said. I was out of line, and you’re right, I was sending mixed signals.”

You remain silent, shutting your laptop to give your boyfriend your undivided attention.

“The truth is, I got scared.” Seokjin pauses, licking his lips as he crosses the room. He lays the flowers on the kitchen island. “Dae’s never called anyone mommy, and I got scared you’d leave like she did.”

“Seokjin,” you start, but he stops you. He shakes his hair out of his eyes as he inhales deeply. You rise from your seat, going around the island to take his face in your hands, his eyes locked on yours.

“I’m not her, Seokjin. I love you and I love Dae. I’m here to stay, but I need you to be in this with me. You and Dae can decide what he calls me. He can call me mom or he can call me by my name. I love him as my own and I want to give him siblings someday, but I need you to be sure of what you want, Seokjin. I know I’m not Dae’s mom, I know. I’m here to be your partner, to be there for Dae, and to build a life with you if you’ll have me. But we need to be on the same page, Jin.” you say as you stroke his cheeks.

Seokjin nods, a hard feat when you’re cradling his face in your hands. “I’ll talk to him, baby. I’ll do what he says and I am sorry for what I said and for the way I reacted. I do want us to be a family and you’ve done nothing but love us from the get-go. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Jin.”

Seokjin hadn’t taken your fight lightly. That same day, he had scheduled an appointment with a therapist to work through his issues. He didn’t want to start a marriage (in the future) with doubts and insecurities hanging over his head.

He’d allowed Dae to stay the night at his parent’s house while the two of you went over his birthday party timeline. You were excited to show off everything, giggling when Seokjin would say he liked what you picked out.

That night, Seokjin takes you out to dinner, apologizing again as he holds your hand in his. He delicately strokes your ring finger, imagining what it would be like with an engagement ring. He flushes. He truly was lucky to have you in his life, and he wouldn’t let this relationship fizzle because of him.

“Tomorrow we’ll pick up Dae and ask what he wants to call you,” Seokjin whispers as he leads you to your bedroom, his hand in yours as he loosens his tie.

“I think that’s a great idea,” you agree as you take your earrings off and place them on the dresser along with your pearl necklace.

Seokjin approaches you, looking at your reflection in the mirror as his arms wind around your waist. His lips press a kiss on your shoulder and you move your hair out of the way to allow him more room.

“I love you,” he murmurs against your soft skin. His large hands grip your hips and squeeze. “You’re the best thing to ever happen to us. You know that, right?”

You smile. “You know I feel the same way, right?”

Slowly, Seokjin kisses his way to your neck. His hands move over your body to your zipper, where he pulls it down enough for your dress to fall forward. He’s pleasantly surprised to see you’re not wearing a bra when he meets your eyes in the mirror.

“Oh?” he raises a brow as his fingertips brush your skin.

“Figured there would be make-up sex,” you shrug with a smirk as you turn to face him. Seokjin wastes no time in kissing you, his hands cradling your face as your fingers work on taking his tie off and unbuttoning his shirt.

Fiery kisses meet your neck as his hands grip the back of your thighs to lift you onto the dresser. Your fingers run through his hair, tugging on it to pull him into a kiss that leaves you vibrating. His tongue pushes past the seam of your lips and you moan softly against him.

You want to savor him, take things slowly but you’re also in need of a rough, quick fuck that makes your eyes roll back.

Panting, Seokjin presses his forehead to yours, almost as if reading your mind when you get off the dresser.

Turning you quickly, your palms grip the edge of the dresser as Seokjin hikes your dress up to bunch at your hips. With a lightning-like quickness, Seokjin is undressed and the head of his cock is pressed to your wet folds.

“Oh, fuck,” he curses. Seokjin’s forehead rests on your shoulder. Your eyes meet his in the mirror and he stares intently at you for a moment before he turns your head and his lips capture yours in a deep kiss that leaves you breathless when it ends.

Seokjin grips your hips, moaning into your skin as you tighten around him, his hand between your thighs rubbing your clit.

You tremble beneath him, his name escaping you repeatedly until you’re falling apart for him.

“That’s it, baby. Come all over my cock,” he grunts, moaning your name as he cums right after you.

“Fuck,” you groan as you try to hold yourself up on shaky hands. Seokjin chuckles, kissing your shoulder before he pulls out.

“I love you,” he states as he looks at your reflection in the mirror. You lace your fingers with him, squeezing them. “I love you too.”

You were running around the house like a chicken with its head cut off, a weird expression but it seemed to fit the mood.

Dae-Hyun was at his grandparents' home. He had spent the night so he wouldn’t see the preparations for his birthday party in a few short hours.

Seokjin had a therapy appointment in the morning but he would be back in plenty of time to help set up and welcome the caterer and decorator. You were handling the cake delivery, moving everything in the fridge to make room for the three-layer cake you had ordered.

You hadn’t slept much last night, too stressed about everything going right today. You wanted everything to be perfect for Dae-Hyun.

“Baby, I’m home!” Seokjin calls as he shuts the front door and you inform him you’re in the kitchen.

He appears moments later with a grin and a large bouquet. “I knew you’d be freaking out over the party so I got you these.”

Your heart melts, thanking him with a kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you, babe. It’s my first party for Dae and I need everything to be perfect for him,” you pout.

“It will be. Relax,” Jin chuckles. “Just let me know what you need me to do.”

“Have a look at the cake,” You tell him as you grab a vase and fill it with water for your flowers. Seokjin does as he’s told, grinning when he sees the dinosaur cake sitting on a shelf.

“Oh, he’s gonna love it! Hell, I love it! That’s the coolest birthday cake I’ve ever seen!” Seokjin is smiling from ear to ear. He knew you’d throw an amazing party for Dae and he hopes as the day goes on, you’ll be able to enjoy it.

“Guests will be here in three hours and Dae in one. Your mom will get him dressed and he’ll have time on the bounce house before everyone shows up,” you inform Seokjin.

“Awesome,” Seokjin nods. The doorbell rings and the decorator shows up with her team. They get to work and in less than two hours, your home is decorated to the brim, the main focus being the backyard and kitchen.

The caterer shows up shortly after and Seokjin finishes preparing the last of the goody bags.

Dae-Hyun comes running straight to your arms and you cover his eyes with a laugh.

“You little Rugrat,” you scolded playfully. “You weren’t supposed to come in here yet.”

“He’s a quick one,” Mrs. Kim chuckles as she enters the kitchen with her husband. A gift bag is looped on her wrist and she sets it on the gift table at the opposite end of the kitchen.

“I wanna see,” Dae whines and you exchange a look with Seokjin as you both head out into the backyard. Excitement fills your body as you count down from three and move your hand off Dae’s eyes.

“Wow!” Dae is in awe as he looks around the backyard. There’s a giant bounce house and decorations all around. There’s an area where the kids can dig for “fossils” and another where they can learn about dinosaurs and make their dinosaur masks. And of course, Dae’s playground where kids can run around all day.

Dae grabs your hand, pulling you to the bounce house. Seokjin follows the two of you, laughing when Dae urges you into the bounce house with him. You hold his hand and jump with him for a bit.

“Mom!” He squeals and you grin. After your talk with Seokjin. The two of you had sat down with Dae-Hyun and allowed him to choose what he’d call you. Dae had immediately wanted to call you mom, and that was that. Seokjin was grateful he hadn’t ruined your relationship with his panicked outburst and he was working on his issues with his therapist. He was doing well and he knew someday he’d want you to be his wife. To spend the rest of your lives together.

“Come on, Dae, Mommy has to go change!” Seokjin exclaims and Dae pouts.

“Do you want Daddy in here while I change?” You ask Dae as you stop jumping. Dae nods and Seokjin looks at the bounce house entrance.

“Babe, I don’t think my shoulders will make it through,” he states with worry.

You cackle, dropping to your knees to open the entrance a little more for your boyfriend’s wide-ass shoulders. He thanks you as he slithers in with a grunt from the struggle.

“I don’t think this was made for adults,” he comments as he tries to stand and ends up falling and bouncing Dae in the process. You shake your head, scooping up Dae-Hyun.

“You watch out for Daddy, okay?” You press a kiss on Dae’s forehead before heading out. Dae stomps to his father, who is struggling to stand before giving up and sitting in the middle while Dae hops from one end to the other, his laughter filling the bounce house.

By the time the party is in full swing, you’re busy playing host while Seokjin tries to get you to enjoy yourself. His parents have taken the time to help out and yours have arrived shortly after. They both dote on Dae-Hyun, and he hugs them tightly before he runs off with children from his preschool.

You’ve met a few of the parents, speaking more to the ones whose children have taken an interest in Dae. A few of the mothers eye Seokjin longer than necessary and you bite back your jealousy knowing he’s yours. Nobody would take your little family away from you. You wouldn’t allow it and neither would Seokjin.

When it’s time to cut the cake, Dae-Hyun is speechless as he sees Seokjin carefully carrying it outside to the table. Dae stares at it with huge eyes, fingertip gently touching one of the dinosaurs. He claps his hands when Seokjin lights the candles and you make sure none of the kids are close enough to ruin your son’s moment. You guard him, and Seokjin bites back a smile as he stands beside you. Mrs. Kim is taking picture after picture while her husband films on his phone.

“Make a wish,” you whisper to Dae, who closes his eyes and makes his wish before blowing out the candles. Cheers and applause fill the backyard as Seokjin cuts the cake, handing the first slice to his son before the caterer whisks the cake back into the kitchen to cut it and her staff serve it to the guests.

Dae-Hyun takes off running with his friends after he’s had cake and you're wary as he enters the bounce house.

“That seems like a bad idea,” you whisper. Seokjin agrees as he scoops his son out of the bounce house with his friends. They protest but are soon occupied with Mr. Kim in a T-Rex inflatable costume as he chases the kids around the yard.

You laugh as you watch from the sidelines with Seokjin at your side, his hand on your lower back. He kisses the top of your head, “Thank you for doing this. It’s the most I’ve seen him smile.”

“I’ve got bigger plans for next year,” you admit with a shy smile. Seokjin shakes his head, smiling. “I knew you would. Care to share?”

“Nope,” you stick your tongue out at him and he rolls his eyes playfully.

“Ever the tease,” he snickers, kissing your cheek.

“I think it’s time we handed out the goody bags and sent everyone home,” you state as the kids start falling asleep on their parents' lap after a while.

“I think you’re right, baby,” Seokjin agrees as he steps away to thank everyone for coming. A lot of the parents are grateful, taking their children who are worn out from all the fun and sugar to go straight to bed.

Your parents and Seokjin’s are the last to leave, offering to help clean up but you’ve got a cleaning service stopping by tomorrow to take care of it. Dae comes straight to you, his head on your shoulder and his eyes barely open.

Seokjin kisses his cheek, smiling when he wipes some frosting off his son’s face. “Well, he’ll be sleeping through the night.”

“Definitely,” you agree as you take him upstairs to bed. You change him into his pajamas, promising to open his presents in the morning when he’s more alert. He dozed off within minutes and soon you’re back downstairs with Seokjin.

“Is he asleep?” He asks as he places the leftover food in the fridge. He had encouraged the guests to take home plates of food and cake but there was still a bit left over.

“Passed out. He ran around a lot today. He can use the bounce house tomorrow for a bit before they come to pick it up,” you inform Seokjin.

“He loves that thing. Me? Not so much,” Seokjin grimaces as he rubs his shoulder.

You walk closer to him, your arms draped over his shoulders. “Does it hurt?”

“Nothing you can’t fix with those pretty lips of yours,” Seokjin teases. You smack his back lightly and his laughter fills the kitchen before he turns to face you.

“Thank you for today. Dae-Hyun had the time of his life,” Seokjin says seriously. His hands grip your hips as he holds you close.

“You don’t have to thank me, babe. I would have done it regardless. I love him,” You respond as you take his hands in yours. “I love you too.”

“Come on, let’s go to bed.”

“But I’m not tired,” you protest.

Seokjin smirks. “Neither am I.”

“Nope! I h-a-t-e it!” You cross your arms over your chest as the car stops.

“Baby, come on,” Seokjin whines as he unclips his seatbelt. “He’s gonna know you’re nervous.”

You sigh, sucking it up as you get out of the car with a frown. You allow Seokjin to get Dae-Hyun out of the car, taking his hand to lead him into the school.

You stomp your way up the front steps after them, not wanting to leave Dae-Hyun alone all day.

“He’ll be fine,” Seokjin assures you as you walk down the hallway to room A-1. Dae is bouncing with excitement, eager to see his friends again after his party.

Once you reach his classroom, Mrs. Hart welcomes you with a bright smile as she greets Dae. Shyly, Dae greets her before she walks him to one of the tables where his friends sit, all of them waving and greeting him cheerfully. They're having breakfast at the moment and you wish you could stay by his side all day.

“Come on, love. We can’t stay,” Seokjin reads your mind and you sigh. You blink back the tears that burn at the corner of your eyes and wave gently at Dae. Seokjin is faring slightly better but he clears his throat and takes your hand in his before leaving at Mrs. Hart’s suggestion.

“We’ll call if we need to,” she promises as she sends the two of you off.

In the hallway you lose it, stopping near the entrance to cry. Seokjin holds you to his chest, rubbing your back.

“It’s okay, baby. You can come get him at 2. He’s gonna be okay,” he assured you and you cry until you can’t anymore. Seokjin leads you to the car, grabbing some tissues from the glove box to dab at your eyes. You blow your nose and sanitize your hands after.

“I miss him already,” You pout.

“It gets easier,” Seokjin promises. “I miss him too but he can’t be isolated. Me, you, and Mrs. Jenkins can’t be the only ones he sees, baby. He needs his friends.”

“I know you’re right but that doesn’t change the fact that I miss my little buddy,” you sniffle as Seokjin pulls out of his parking spot. He’d taken the morning off for Dae’s first day of school but he’d be back in the office in an hour or so.

“You know,” Seokjin muses as he drives further and further from the school. “I always thought when this day came, I’d be the one sobbing my eyes out.”

“Don’t make fun of me,” you whine pitifully and he smiles.

“I’m not, baby. I just think it’s sweet you care so much about him,” he states as he brings your hand to his lips. “But no, you can’t take him out early on his first day.”

“How did you-?”

“I can read your thoughts, baby,” he laughs as he drives you home. You use the ride home to calm yourself but you’re frowning the moment you walk through the door and realize you’re on your own.

“It’ll be okay. It’s just a change in routine,” Seokjin assures you before he’s heading out for the office. You sit on the couch after he leaves, turning the TV on and placing your phone on your lap.

You count the hours until you can pick Dae up.

“Mommy!” Dae squeals when he sees you at pick-up. You hug him tight as you take his backpack and carry him out of the classroom.

“Did you have fun?” You ask as you take him to your car. Now that Dae was in school, Seokjin had suggested he get you a new car and the more you thought about it, the more you considered it. Besides, if Seokjin had plans of making you a (biological) mother, you’d need more space. Which was why you’d be going car shopping this weekend.

“Luke and Max are my friends!” Dae exclaims as he tells you about his day while you situate him in his car seat. You place his backpack in the footwell and get in the driver's seat. You immediately lock the doors once you’re inside the car, looking in the rearview mirror before you pull out of your spot to head home.

“And tomorrow we get to play outside!” Dae cheered.

“That sounds fun!” You exclaim as you turn into your neighborhood. “Do you want a snack when we get home?”

“I ate at school,” he assures you as he tells you what his snack was as you pull into the driveway. You listen intently, helping him out of his seat before grabbing his backpack and leading him inside the home. He greets Mrs. Jenkins, filling her in about his day at school. She listens intently, asking questions about all his friends while you sit on a stool and text Seokjin.

[You]: got my little buddy back!

[Seokjin 🥵]: good! I’m wrapping things up here so I’ll be home soon. We can get dinner later

You agree before placing your phone down. Mrs. Jenkins ruffles Dae’s hair before he runs off to the living room to play.

Mrs. Jenkins gives you a warm smile. “It gets easier.”

And it does get easier as the days turn into weeks and months. You still get sad when you drop him off and you’ve been picking up new hobbies now that you’ve got the time but none of them seem to stick.

Pilates and yoga weren’t for you. You tried jogging, archery and badminton. Tennis, soccer, volleyball, and hockey. Jujitsu, Karate, and kickboxing, that one was Jin’s least favorite. He hated seeing you bruised after a few sessions.

You then switched to knitting, embroidery, painting, and pottery but you quickly realized you weren’t good with your hands outside the bedroom. So you turned to baking and decorating but that proved to be a challenge and you soon ended up back on your tablet and TV, binge-watching every show you could find to keep yourself occupied.

Seokjin tried his best to help find something you’d enjoy that wouldn’t put you in harm's way but everything seemed to be challenging and you quickly lost interest.

“What about party planning?” Seokjin suggested one night while Dae was asleep on your chest.

“Party planning?” You asked, puzzled.

“Yeah,” Seokjin nodded. “You did a fantastic job with Dae’s. What if you did it part-time on the side? Start small with friends and family and build yourself up from there if you’d like.”

“I don’t know,” you answer honestly. “I wouldn’t have a lot of time for Dae.”

Seokjin blinks before laughing, stopping when his son stirs in your hold.

“My parents' anniversary is coming up. I’m sure my mom would love some help,” Jin offers, and you give in.

“I’ll give it a chance,” you agree hesitantly.

And slowly you build your little business. It starts with a few parties, but soon word of mouth gets you booked and busy. You only work when Dae’s in school, and limit the amount of weekends you can attend the parties you plan to make sure they run smoothly. You’re not sure if it’s a career you want to do long term, but you enjoy it when Dae’s at school.

“We’re going away for the weekend,” Seokjin announces on a Friday evening.

“Last minute?” You ask as you grab a duffel bag. Seokjin nods.

“I think we should go to the beach house. My parents have one nearby and Dae can stay with us or them if he chooses.”

“Hmmm?” You muse as you pack your bag. “Suspicious.”

Seokjin laughs. “How is that suspicious? You said you wanted to go back with Dae?”

“I do, but It’s out of nowhere,” you reply as you grab your toiletries.

“Work has been a bitch,” Seokjin admits. “I just want to relax at the beach with my girl and my son.”

“Fair enough,” you give in as you finish packing your bag. Seokjin has his ready to go along with Dae’s and he’s soon carrying them down the stairs and into the car.

Your new car is a shiny black SUV with 3 rows of seats that you insisted were too many. Seokjin, however, had pulled you aside and promised to fill every single one with one of your babies. You bit your lip and met his smoldering gaze, thighs pressed together as heat flushed over your body.

Seokjin smirked knowingly, licking his lips as he stepped away to talk to the salesman. And that had been that.

“Do we have everything?” You ask as you get into the passenger seat. Seokjin straps Dae into his car seat, nodding as he finishes and gets in the driver’s seat.

“Yes, baby. I got the sunblock and all his toys and extra clothes, just in case. Anything else we can buy,” Jin assures you as he starts the car. “My parents left this morning so they’ll be there already.”

“Okay.” you yawn as you lean against the window. You try your best to stay awake, but soon you and Dae-Hyun are asleep.

<< previous // next >>

#seokjin fanfic #seokjin x f. reader #seokjin fanfiction #seokjin fluff #dilf!seokjin #the nanny!seokjin #seokjin x reader #jin x you #fic: the nanny #seokjin smut #seokjin au

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feyhunter78 · 3 months ago

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HOTD Masterlist

Aemond Targaryen:

OC fics: Poisoned Tears and Scorched Tongues Series ⇾ Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6, read the rest of the chapters here!! Look of Love 💕 Reader Inserts: But Darling (I'd Still Die For You) The Prince and His Musician 💕 Tourney Injuries and a Proposal Study Sessions You Know Other Men??🔥 💕 Fantasies and Restraint🔥 Spy!Aemond Headcanons The Despair of a Dragon's Wife💕 Liquid Lust🔥 Sub!Aemond🔥 Y/N's Birthday🔥 The Prince's Chambers🔥 Think I'm Gonna Call it Off ⇾ Cregan Stark X Reader X Aemond When the Night Turns From Dragon Shores🔥 Multichapter: The Scar on Your Palm (and the One on Mine)💕 Pt 2💕 The Innocent's Folly Masterlist (Finished!) The Trial of Tributes Masterlist (Finished/find on AO3)

Helaena and Jacaerys:

Moonflowers Series💕 ⇾ Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6, Ch 7, Ch 8, Ch 9, Ch 10, Ch 11, Ch 12, Ch 13, read the rest here! Soulmate AU ⇾ Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6, Ch 7 (Finished!)

Jacaerys Velaryon:

Reader Inserts:

The Servant who would be Queen 💕

Aegon II Targaryen:

Hold My Heart (Between Your Teeth) ⇾ Masterlist (on hiatus)

Reader Inserts:

Perils of Kindness and Lust🔥 Pt 2🔥 The Maester's Assistant 💕 Angel in the Marketplace 🔥💕 A Maid's Obsession 🔥

Multi Characters:

Apprentice!reader ⇾ Masterlist Bowling with the Modern!Targs HC Arcade Games with the Modern!Targ boys HC Sex Pollen with the Targ Boys🔥 Turn of the Tide, Call of the Sea ⇾ Masterlist (on hiatus)

Long Fics:

Targaryen Inc, Modern Au💕 ⇾ Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6, Ch 7, Ch 8, Ch 9, Ch 10, Ch 11, Ch 12, read the other chapters here!!!

The Dowager Queen ⇾ Preview, series masterlist💕 Orange Blossoms (Alicent x Criston) Ch 2, Ch 3 (find more on my AO3) Vervain and Wolfsbane - Vamp AU ⇾ Ch 1, Ch 2 (find more on my AO3)

#meg's masterlist #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen x y/n #jacelaena #aegon targaryen x reader #jacaerys x reader

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areyouwell · 2 months ago

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Necrophobia

Noun: An extreme and irrational fear of death. Those with this condition will do anything to avoid their own death or the death of somebody they love. But in the end, death is inevitable.

Ch.8, Ch.7, Ch.6, Ch.5.5, Ch.5, Ch.4, Ch.3, Ch.2, Ch.1 <–

Ch.9

Pairing: Mutant!Reader x Logan Howlet

Warnings: strap in and strap on folks, it's gonna be a long one... MDNI

Word Count: 29.7k (y'all wanted this as one chapter sooooo)

A/N: i actually can't believe this is it. like, this is the end of Phobophobia... how crazy is that? thank you all so much for the love and support on this series, it's been a while since i got back into fic writing so it means so much that you've all been reading along. i read and cherish every single one of your comments and reblogs, and now the only thing left to say is LET'S. FUCKING. GO.

Taglist: @badbishsblog @reidsworld @idioticstar @toogaytofunctiondangit @ghostyv @wolviesgirl @over-bi-the-wayside @justice4billiam @holyhumorliteraturelight @cxptainbuck @sseleniaa @sadslasher13 @yallgotkik @whyamistillontumbler @maddiedinosaur @bethexo07 @pwpwppeepeoor @y08h

It would be two days later before you and Morgana could convince Erin there was no threat here, and that she was safe. Another day for her to be comfortable enough to let Charles come anywhere near her, let alone bring her memories back.

“Give her time, darlin’. She’s terrified.” Logan would remind you, only to fuel your frustration. You didn’t have time. You needed her help to get Rowan and the others back, and the longer she refused to restore her memories, the more danger he was in.

You sighed heavily after the umpteenth time Logan reminded you, leaning on the balcony overlooking the gardens. He’d found you pacing back and forth, clearly trying to remind yourself that Erin was just how you were before you had your memories. She was scared and alone and you didn’t know how to convince her she wasn’t. Erin was never your speciality. Atlas usually could get through to her, but he was still with Kreva, like Rowan, Joes and Naji.

Logan took his position by your side, leaning his forearms against the stone wall of the balcony, his bicep brushing against yours as you leaned your head on his shoulder, exhaling a breath. “I know she is. We all were. But fuck, this is taking too long, Lo’. We haven’t even started planning for the mission and it’s already been too long. I just…” you trailed off, gazing into the middle distance as your mind wandered back to your brother. He would always seem so big and protective outside the experiments, but you couldn’t count how many times you had to act out to protect him when the white, overhead lights hummed to life in those observation chambers. How many times had you taken the hits for him, just for him to be used against you as persuasion?

Logan’s arm lifted to wrap around your shoulders, tucking you safely into his side. “I know, but Kreva won’t kill him. If anything, he’ll use him as bait to lure you back.” The idea had his stomach churning, because there was very little that could convince you to return other than to save Rowan, and he was almost certain that’s why Kreva sent Joes to retrieve just him. Because the bastard knew you wouldn’t leave him behind. He knew you’d go back for him. If it was just Naji, Joes and Atlas, perhaps you would trust their rescue to the rest of the team. But Rowan was your brother. Your flesh and blood. He’d been with you since the start.

You weren’t going to abandon him. Everyone knew that.

“Would you lock me away if I said it would work?” You asked with a half-hearted smile, and he pressed a lingering kiss to your temple, rubbing his hand against your shoulder.

“Most likely.” He responded, revelling in your little bubbles of laughter. Just the weight of his arm around you was enough to ease some of the anxiety that had been your constant companion since waking up, the ever-present fear of what was going on beyond the walls of the school keeping you up at night. But Jade was right about one thing.

You weren’t alone. Not anymore. Almost every waking moment Logan was by your side, keeping a watchful eye and jumping at the opportunity to provide for you. His warm embrace kept you sane even into the wee hours of the morning, never failing to stay awake with you when you had trouble sleeping. And these last few nights hadn’t been the most restful of your life.

He could see it. Just how exhausted you were. You still had to regain the muscle you’d lost in the last two months, but that wasn’t what concerned him most. It was the dark purple bruises beneath your eyes that had him staying up with you, stroking your hair and engaging in murmured conversations until you’d finally fall asleep. Only to wake up an hour or so later, and take yet another lifetime to fall back asleep, by which point it was already morning and time for the two of you to start the day.

It was how he’d spent the last two nights with you, with you settled against his chest, staring at nothing in particular, talking about absolutely anything. It was a delicious slice of normalcy, certainly, but it worried him how little you were sleeping. And how hard you were training to get back to your muscular physique of before. He hadn’t seen you cook once, either. Though he supposed it had only been a few days, and it wasn’t like you had buckets of time to spare, between your lack of sleep, nutrition and overexerting yourself…

He didn’t really know what to do. What issue to tackle first.

“You think any louder and Charles is gonna wonder what the hell’s going on,” you prodded lightly, nudging his side with your elbow. “How’re you holding up? We’ve spoken a shit ton about me but now it’s your turn,” Logan opened his mouth to tell you it didn’t matter, but you instantly cut him off, a glare sharpening your typical gaze of adoration. “And don’t lie. I mean it, Lo’. Let me in.” You placed a hand on the centre of his chest and he sighed heavily, clutching it in his own calloused palm.

“No lies?” He asked with a raised brow as if asking whether or not you really wanted this.

“No lies.” Your determined nod solidified that you were there for him, that you wanted to know how he was doing in the vague, possibly slightly selfish hope that it would make you feel a little better, or that perhaps there was a way you could help in some way, which would also make you feel better.

“Total honesty?”

“Logan!”

“Okay, okay,” he huffed a laugh at your incredulous tone. He was stalling, to be completely honest. He didn’t want to open up about how this whole thing had affected him because he was so damn scared of making you feel worse, or, god fucking forbid, that you weren’t worth it. But he also knew you couldn’t stand lies. You’d had enough of those in your life, so the one thing he could give you now was honesty. Raw, weeping honesty. “I uh– It’s rare that I’m scared of anythin’. It’s happened, sure, but not often,” he ran a hand through his hair, and your thumb smoothed soft caresses against the centre of his chest. “But I don’t think I’ve been more afraid than when I thought I’d lost you for good,” his words came out a jumbled, murmured mess, but you caught them nonetheless. “An’ this ain’t over yet. We gotta go back for the others and ‘m fuckin’ terrified it’s a trap.”

“Logan…” you breathed his name with a sigh, resting your cheek next to the hand you held over his heart. His arms encased you in a home of pine-scented sinew, warmth seeping into your very bones.

“I don’t wanna lose you.” He whispered into your hair, and your heart cracked a little.

“I can’t say you won’t, because I don’t know what’s going to happen and I don’t wanna lie to you. I don’t know what we’ll find when we go back or how things will go down,” you paused, raising your head so your chin pressed into the dip between his pectorals. “But I can say, it’s certainly not my intention to die sooooo–”

“That makes me feel so much better.” He rolled his eyes, sarcasm dripping from his tone as the vibrations of your laughter invaded his chest, causing a chain reaction within his soul.

You let the hushed silence of the clouded late afternoon blanket the two of you, content to bask in his presence after being deprived for so long. He was everything to you. He’d been by your side ever since you’d laid eyes on each other, even if you weren’t the easiest person to get to open up. He’d forgiven you for lashing out. He’d forgiven you for trying to kill him. He’d forgiven you for everything you’d done before. You didn’t think there was anything you wouldn’t do for him, and his actions towards you proved the same.

“Besides,” you continued after a little while, flexing your fingers ever so slightly, the shadows on the ground responding with obedience you hadn’t experienced in a long time. “I got all corners of my mutation back, so I’d like to see Kreva try anything, the sleazy little fuckstick.” From the silhouette of the balcony rose one of those figures Logan had seen you conjure in your sleep, though this time it wasn’t looking at you with any kind of intention. Rather it seemed to be waiting for your command, standing unnervingly still, shadows rising like smoke from its corporeal body.

“That’s one less thing to worry ‘bout. Not gonna wake up to you having dissolved on me.” He shrugged, watching intently as the figure raised its hand ominously toward the two of you. Logan bristled, holding you tighter and turning you slightly, his teeth bared. He thought you had control of your mutation now, why the fuck was it–

That extended fist rotated to the side before giving him a thumbs up.

“Gotcha.” You grinned wickedly, the figure dissipating back into the shadows and Logan looked down at you with utter disbelief, the smirking satisfaction on your face singing to his very core. Wordlessly, he picked you up, delighting in your squeal of surprise, holding you suspended above him like he would a misbehaving puppy.

“Jail time.” Was all he said, holding you firmly as you squirmed in his grip, breathless bubbles of laughter bursting from your chest.

“Put– put me down, Logan. M’not– a dog.” You managed to gasp through fits of giggling, reaching down to hold his arms to steady yourself.

“I could just drop ya.” He mused, unable to stem the smile pulling at the corners of his lips.

“Don’t you dare.” It was tricky to glare at him when thrilled adrenaline coursed through your system and you could barely stop laughing. Logan quirked a brow, pretending to debate whether or not it was a good idea to just let you go and watch you hit the floor, before his slight smirk grew to a full-blown grin, and his hands disappeared from your body.

You barely had a second to register your stomach launching into your throat, a frisson of excitement spiking through your system as you lurched down. Though you didn’t fall far until his arms caught you beneath your thighs, your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist, elbows hooked around his neck.

“Gotcha.” He mimicked your exact tone from not moments ago, and you huffed a breath against the side of his neck, still clinging on. Not out of fear he would drop you, but just because you could. You were here, you were back, and you remembered every perfect detail of the eight months you’d spent with him before Kreva snatched you away.

Withdrawing from the side of his neck, you brushed a stray dark hair from his forehead, glowing as he leant into your touch, your hand sliding to cup the side of his face, fingers gently scratching through his beard, drinking in every peak and valley of his features, the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled, the quirk of his lips, the pinch of his brows. You devoured his visage as if it were the first time you laid eyes upon him.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” He murmured, and you felt your heart swell three times its size. You didn’t know just how badly you’d missed him. Only since waking up again did you feel an empty ache in your chest in the rare moments he wasn’t by your side, only feeling whole again when he returned. It was overwhelming, your sheer love for him, your insides squeezing to make room for the remarkable amount of adoration you held for him.

Logan panicked slightly when your eyes started to sparkle with unshed tears, fearful he may have said the wrong thing, or something that reminded you of the two months with him you’d just lost, but his heart settled when your lips moulded against his, your thumb smoothing his cheekbone with every languid movement. He held you tighter, his arms crushing you against his body as if at any moment he’d wake up, you’d be gone, and this was nothing but a dream.

But you didn’t disappear, not as your lips parted for him and you sighed into his mouth, your arm shifting back around his neck to meet him with equal strength, your nails combing the back of his hair soothingly as if you could read his mind just as easily as Charles or Jean, feeling his fears and reminding him you were here. You were back. And you weren’t leaving him anytime soon.

Pulling back a fraction, your breaths fanned his lips with each exhale, before your hushed words had his whole world igniting.

“I love you, Logan.” Your eyes shone with earnest as his gaze flickered between them as if searching for the indication that this really was nothing but a dream.

He thought he’d have to die before he heard those words again.

Fearful that his voice would crack if he responded, he set you down so he could thread his fingers through your hair and kiss you again with as much love as he felt in his soul, gasping through his nose when your fingers grazed up the sides of his ribs, muscles tensing beneath your tickling touch.

“Sorry to interrupt your disgusting display of a happy relationship,” Logan almost growled in irritation at the sudden intrusion, reluctantly pulling away from you to raise eyes of daggers at Morgana’s smirking face, her arms folded across her chest as if she’d just caught two teenagers making out behind the bleachers at school. “But we’re gonna try again with Erin, not to convince her of anything, just to talk to her. Need your help,” she paused, gesturing to the both of you. “If you’re all done here, that is.”

You snorted a laugh at Logan’s irate furrow of his brow, and you knew it was taking a lot of his self-control not to bare his damn teeth at her. You placed a placating hand against the centre of his chest, feeling is heartbeat settle a tad before nodding to the redhead. “Sure thing. I’ll be right there.”

Satisfied with your answer, Morgana cast one last faux disgusted glance in the minimal space between you and Logan, before turning on her heel, her hair bouncing as she returned back inside.

“The hell you will,” he seethed, his grip shifting from the side of your neck to your waist, holding you tightly. You flashed him a crooked smile, patting his chest gently.

“I doubt it’ll be a long conversation. Besides, I’ll see you for dinner, kay?”

“You’ll see me before dinner, darlin’.”

“Is that a threat or a promise?” Your smile twisted into something a lot more mischievous, and Logan almost groaned aloud at the thought of what he’s now definitely going to do to you later.

“Why can’t it be both?” He responded, matching the lust dusting your tone. You bit your tongue behind your teeth, taking a step back before you cracked beneath his gaze and offered yourself to him then and there.

“You’re filthy, Howlett.”

“You love it.”

With a subdued chuckle, you turned away from him intending to follow Morgana to help her with Erin, before Logan’s broad hand wrapped around your wrist and tugged you back into him, not even giving you time to blink before his lips were on your in a lingering, passionate kiss.

“I love you too.” He whispered, and you didn’t even try to tame your smile before he let you go, choosing to stay out in the fresh air a little longer, mainly to cool himself off. You had such a gift in riling him up that it was always difficult to hold himself back when he couldn’t have his way with you, so he opted to remain outside, erasing the risk of following you and throwing you over his shoulder to take you upstairs.

“See you in a bit.” You pecked the corner of his mouth briefly before actually managing to get more than two steps away from him, the buzz of anticipation fading in your veins as you headed back through the doors inside, only half expecting him to race after you and do exactly what he promised.

“Surprised I could pull you away from your man for longer than three seconds.” Morgana grinned as you strode down the hallway, seeing her waiting outside Erin’s room, leaning against the doorframe with her arms still folded. You rolled your eyes dramatically.

“We’re not joined at the hip, but I was robbed of the last two months with him so excuse me if I’m a little clingy.” You shot her a faux glare, cut short by the way her face split with a toothy grin.

“I’m messing with you. It’s real nice actually. I only ever saw snippets of you like this with Jade before you’d revert back to whatever emotionless shell you needed to be so I’m not complaining. Just jealous he got there before I did,” she winked and you slapped her arm with a light chuckle.

This was the usual dynamic between you and Morgana, having lighthearted, occasionally flirty banter whilst living your ‘lives’ until you’d be taken for experiments. It was rare Kreva would take the both of you, but when he did, you always gave him one hell of a fight back.

Maybe that was why he would usually separate the two of you. “So,” you continued, leaning opposite her against the doorframe. “What’s the plan this time? Since the last fifty conversations with her haven't worked, you got a new special approach? Or is this just gonna be failure number fifty-one?”

Morgana placed a hand on her heart dramatically, her mouth falling agape as if you’d just insulted her meticulously preened appearance. “Okay, first of all, we’ve only tried like, what, five times max? Second of all, did you really think I’d drag you from your boyfriend for no reason and risk waking up with several claws stuck in my stomach? Fuck no. Of course I have a plan…” She paused, and you narrowed your eyes suspiciously. “Or… I will have a plan. When I think of one.”

“Morgo…” you sighed tiredly, dragging a hand down the side of your face.

“Look, I can’t do this by myself. If Atlas was here, we could just hand this whole thing over to him and be done with it. But he’s not here, and we need Erin’s help to get him back. And Rowan. And Naji and Joes. And we don’t exactly have a cheat code when it comes to her like we did with you.”

“The fuck do you mean ‘cheat code’?” you asked defensively, a little insulted at the way she looked at you as if it was obvious. “Oh Logan is not a cheat code, that’s so unfair!” you protested avidly, pouting when she gave you another one of her looks.

“We can talk about your complete lack of self-awareness at a later date,” you had half the mind to slap the girl. “And about the fact you somehow managed to back one of the most gorgeous men I’ve ever seen in my life. Your descriptions did not do him justice, by the way.” She wiggled her brows and you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“Can you stop thirsting over my partner, please?”

“What’s sex with him like?”

“Morgo!”

“Okay okay, I’ll stop,” she held her hands up in surrender, though her wicked grin didn’t fade in any way. “Fucking gatekeeping, so mean. Throw a girl a bone here… literally.”

“Oh my god.” You groaned, pushing up from the wall to slap your hand over her mouth. Unfortunately, she anticipated and nimbly stepped back before you could even approach her.

“I can hear you guys outside… if you’re going to come in just do it already,” Erin called from behind the door. The poor girl sounded utterly exhausted, and your heart broke as you imagined her inside, most likely curled up in a corner, surrounded by nothing but hard, dead wood. Useless for her mutation.

You cast Morgana a sheepish glance, an expression she mirrored, before unlocking the door and stepping through a little hesitantly. They’d made special precautions with her the same way they had with you. A lack of windows meant she had no sightline to the copious greenery beyond the mansion’s walls. All and any plant life had been removed from the room just to make absolutely certain she had no way of escape. It hurt, but you knew it was necessary.

Necessary evils. How many times have you heard that phrase and genuinely believed it?

“Hey Woods…” Morgana uttered quietly, hoping in vain not to startle the girl. Not that either of you had even seen her yet. She seemed to be hiding somewhere amongst the furniture, or maybe under the bed. It hadn’t been the first time she’d hidden from either of you. “We don’t wanna try convince you of anything. We just wanna chat…” she continued warily, creeping around the side of the bed to where you both assumed she’d curled up. “We’re your friends, Erin. We don’t wanna– huh?”

Morgana stopped when she peered around the double bed to see nothing but empty space. You sidled into the ensuite, nudging open the door a fraction only to once again be met with nothing. “Erin, where’re you–”

You were cut off by the sound of hurrying feet behind you, the slamming of the door, and the click of the lock, barely having enough time to whirl around before you registered your absolute idiocy.

“You’re fucking joking…” Morgana spat, crossing back to the door Erin had just locked behind her. “Very funny Woods, glad to see you’re feeling better. Now let us out.” She huffed, trying not to let her irritation seep through her voice. Though nothing but silence greeted her from the other side. Morgana tugged at the door a few times, but the oak refused to yield. Defeatedly, she took a step back, throwing you an apologetic glance, before her foot collided with the centre of the panels.

“Fucking ow!” She recoiled to your inappropriate amusement. She shot you a look darker than before. “I’m not the brawler okay? I don’t tackle shit as strong as this.”

Rolling your eyes skyward, you flicked off the light switch before placing a hand on her shoulder wordlessly. Morgana’s eyes widened as panic flooded her face. “Nononono I hate it when you do this. Can’t you just sift outta here and unlock the door for me?” She pleaded, already skittish before you’d even partially dragged her into the shadow with you.

“Nope. Don’t have the time. It’ll only be two seconds. Promise.” You actually had no idea how long it was going to be, seeing as most of the mansion was drenched it light around this time of the afternoon, but you knew which room this was. And you knew the room above it.

And it was rare that the room had much light in it at all.

Not giving her a word of warning, you kept a firm grip on her shoulder as you pulled the both of you into the shadows, pulling on the strings of darkness to keep her consciousness with your own.

With the corporeal world nothing but the stark contrast between light and shadow, you felt your way upwards, through the little cracks between the ceiling and the floor above, weaving up through the crevices in the floorboards. You weren’t expecting the room to have so little options for where to materialise again, your consciousness writhing with the surprise of the bedside lamp being on. But you chose the dark corner by the wardrobe, pulling both yourself and Morgana through the various shadows across the floor and into the sizeable darkness against the wall.

“Jesus Christ!”

The last Logan had heard, you’d followed Morgana in the hopes of convincing Erin she wasn’t in any danger here. So he couldn’t contain the shock you gave him when you melted into his room from the corner, a dishevelled-looking redhead by your side. Were you trying to kill him?

“Nope, just me. Sorry Lo’, didn’t mean to scare ya.” Though from the subdued grin pulling at your lips, he knew you definitely found no small amount of amusement in taking him off guard.

You managed to suppress your light chuckle at his incredulous expression, choosing instead to tend to your friend who seemed to be struggling majorly with a bad case of motion sickness.

“Ugh… I don’t understand how you do that so often… I think I’d off myself if that was my mutation…” she managed to grit, holding her stomach as if she was about to throw up. You pointed her toward the bathroom just in case as Logan stood from his extremely comfortable position on his bed.

“Though you were talkin’ some sense into Erin. What went wrong?” His first instinct was that, immediately upon entering the room, Erin had most likely thrown something at the two of you and you’d retreated to rethink a strategy.

Though the silence after his query was deafening.

“She uh, she got out.”

Oh. Nevermind. This was a deafening silence. Logan swore he could hear your blood cells in your veins the room fell so quiet. “Whaddya mean ‘she got out’?”

“Oldest trick in the book. One of the ones I tried and failed on you. Told us to come in, hid behind the door and bolted when we were far enough in the room.” You explained flatly, lifting Morgana’s hair from the back of her neck in an attempt to stem her queasiness.

Logan swore lowly, instinctively checking you for injuries despite the fact you’d just reformed yourself from the shadow. He couldn’t stop himself. “Does Charles know?”

“The whole mansion will know in a moment. If she’s managed to get outside, it’s only a matter of time until–”

Almost as if Morgana was speaking the circumstance into existence, the entire room started to shake. No. Not just the room. The whole school seemed to shudder and groan, the sound of splitting wood resonating throughout the hallways and dorms, and you dragged Morgana back as a huge, knotted vine bloomed up from the corner, leaves sprouting as the vegetation started its takeover of the space.

“Shit…” You hissed, bolting to the window and seeing the cause of the destruction. Greenery thrived around Erin, her arms outstretched towards the mansion, dolphin-fins of roots rising and resubmerging into the ground toward the building, veins of gnarled ivy spiderwebbing up the outside of the walls, sneaking in through the cracks between windowpanes and brickwork, before growing exponentially. The realisation hit you like a ton of bricks.

She was trying to bring down the school.

You flipped up the latch of the window before throwing open the panes and shoving your head through the leaves, your skin itching slightly as you realised it was no regular ivy. Not with the three-lobed points on most leaves, the slightly waxy texture of the surface. It was fucking poisonous.

Of course it was.

You managed to set your jaw against the instant discomfort, pushing your way through until you could see the ground beneath. Shrouded in shadow. Good enough for you. You pulled back, only to feel a slight constriction against your throat from a snaking vine around your neck. You hissed at it tightened, flexing your tendons as if you could break free with sheer strength alone. But you succeeded only in tightening its hold, your airways becoming dangerously closed off. Thrusting your arms back through the new forest of the window, you held out your hand in desperation, instantly feeling the rough, calloused palm of Logan grasping your wrist.

You hadn’t given him time to ask what the hell you thought you were doing before you’d been completely shrouded in greenery, and the moment he saw your hand back through the expanding knots of vines, he was by your side, claws slicing through his knuckles as he started to slash and swipe at the writhing snakes. His arm wrapped around your middle, the razor tip of his claw dangerously close to your jugular as he tried to surgically remove the constraint, only to find himself being pulled in with you, itching leaves winding up his forearm and over his bicep.

Breathing became difficult, the lack of oxygen making your brain hazy and your movements slow. You felt like you were trying to inhale through a straw after running a marathon, every part of your exposed skin itching and burning from even slight contact with the leaves, red rashes already rising around your face and neck. You hadn’t really thought she’d try to kill you, or anyone for that matter. In all honesty, you saw this as a desperate attempt to stall everyone before she made a run for it. Not kill everyone inside the goddamn school. Your oxygen-starved mind sluggishly thought to the kids in their classrooms, how terrified they must be, and you fucking hoped Storm or Scott had already started evacuating them as your vision started to tunnel slightly, your mouth agape in a futile attempt to draw breath.

“C’mon…” Logan groaned with effort as he managed to wrench his arm free of the vines, nicking the side of your shoulder with his claws as he did. He didn’t have time for the instant, overwhelming feeling of guilt before he started desperately slashing again to get you free. Silver clashed with emerald with each savage claw until a soft hand got in his way, blood splattering across the wall.

“Fuck! Those things are fucking sharp!” Morgana cried out, scarlet leaking from the deep slice across the back of her hand. Logan looked at her as if she’d completely lost her mind.

“The fuck’re you doing?!”

To his chagrin, she just rolled her eyes, before the rivulets of blood running down her arm started to rise and expand, weaving through the now all-consuming wall of poison, staining the beige vines deep red. In his panic, he’d completely forgotten her mutation. It was deliberate. Her getting in the way. It had been on purpose. Understanding her plan, he sheathed his claws and wrapped his other arm around your middle, his grip like steel as, all at once, a sheet of blood exploded from just beyond the window, slicing through the snaking tendrils, useless ends falling lifeless to the floor.

Like a drowned man rescued from the water, you gasped a deep inhale, feeling yourself be tugged backwards from the crimson display and into a tight embrace that was, whilst unhelpful for your breathing, extremely helpful for your panic. You’d have been humiliated if you’d survived everything Kreva had put you through only to die became Erin was too fucking stubborn for her own good.

“Y’okay?” Logan asked, concern dripping from his voice as he smoothed your hair from your face, wincing as he caught sight of the angry rashes around your neck and across your collarbones, winding up to frame the sides of your cheeks and brow. You couldn’t stop your nails dragging across the unholy itching in an attempt to soothe it, pulling loose bits of skin as you scratched fruitlessly.

“Shadows…” your voice was raspy, and you felt like you’d swallowed a bag of nails, a bolt of pain shooting through your vocal cords as you tried to speak again. “Need shadow.”

Logan shifted into the path of the lamp and you dissolved into his silhouette instantly, returning only a beat later looking no worse for wear, though fury furrowed your brow and had your jaw tense.

“Y’okay?” He asked again, only this time he felt a sense of calm seeing you unhurt. Your rage intimidated him only a little, but at least you were breathing this time.

“M’fine. Fucking bitch. The fuck does she think she’s doing?” You seethed, casting a glare out the now-covered window as if you could kill her with your mind. Morgana huffed abruptly, still in control of the stained glass made of her own blood.

“What exactly was your plan there? Or was almost suffocating to death a way of trying to get her to see what she the consequences of her actions?” She asked savagely, sliding her now glowing eyes to you and you could feel her irritation at your actions.

“I was trying to see if I had a quicker way down to her. And I did, until she tried to fucking kill me.” You braced your hand around your throat as if you could still feel the constrictions around your neck.

Seeing your phantom discomfort, Logan brushed the back of his hand against the one on your throat, a silent reminder that you were safe again. You laced your fingers between his, another silent way of communicating your gratitude, before once again returning to look beyond Morgana’s barrier.

Unspoken agreement passed between the room, Morgana leading the way as the three of you sped down the stairs, shouting to any passersby to use the passage and get the hell out of there. You almost collided into a panicking Artie, clutching a small stuffed toy in his hands as he looked around desperately for Jubilee. At least you assumed he’d be looking for Jubilee, she’d taken on the role of protector for the boy, though not being that much older herself.

You crouched and enveloped him in a tight hug, relieved to see he was unharmed. Though through the rushing crowds, it was difficult to make out specific faces. Until a shock of white hair bobbed through the heads of students, Storm managing to fight her way through the throng and in your direction.

“How did this happen?” She asked by way of greeting, taking Artie from your arms and tucking him into her side. Shame and guilt tightened your gut. You couldn’t help but interpret her question differently. How could you let this happen?

“She got passed us,” Morgana stepped in, placing a hand on your shoulder and no doubt feeling exactly the same as you. “We weren’t careful enough. But we’re gonna fix it. We’re gonna fix this. We just need to get out there.” She nodded to the covered window where you knew the source was. Ororo sighed gravely.

“There’s only two ways this can go. Make sure it’s option one.” Was all she said, before guiding Artie down the hall and disappearing into the thinning crowd. At least most students had managed to get out, though you could only pray none of them had touched the leaves. You clenched your jaw, Storm’s words sinking in.

She was right. There were only two possible ways this could go. You could convince her she was safe here, and that you all really were trying to get back and rescue the others.

Or you had to kill her.

A glance at Morgana told you she’d realised the same, her eyes staring unblinkingly at the floor as she processed what the two of you might have to do if you couldn’t get through to her. “It won’t come to that.” You tried, but it was hard to sound convincing when you weren’t entirely convinced yourself.

But she went along with your false confidence, choosing instead to gaslight herself right alongside you. “Yeah… it won’t.”

It broke Logan’s heart to see your desperation to fix things. To see the guilt etched into the crease of your brow. Broke him further as he watch the both of you understand that you might really have to kill her. You were torn between trying to save your old family and protecting your new one, he could feel it in his own damn soul.

You couldn’t be battling with yourself like this right now. You didn’t have the fucking time. People were getting hurt and it was your own damn fault. And the familiarity of the situation flipped something in your brain. All at once, the hesitation you’d been feeling disappeared. Concern faded away. Fear locked up. You had a damn job to do.

“Cut through the vines like before.” You instructed Morgana, steel icing your tone as you weaved through the stragglers, making a beeline for the double doors that normally would have led out into the gardens. Only right now they led into a wall of vines.

“I uh– yeah, s-sure.” Logan watched recognition dawn on Morgana’s features, a deep sadness flickering in her eyes as she used her fingernail to reopen the wound on the back of her hand, hissing slightly at the hurt, before blood rose from the gash and seeped beneath the door, solidifying and slicing the climbing vines at the base, creating an opening for you.

With a flick of your wrist, eight separate figures rose from the shadows around you, gliding to your side and waiting with obedient anticipation. Logan’s stomach dropped as darkness slid up your leg, across your abdomen and settled over your face, solidifying in a glassy, thin mask. Morgana gasped weakly, shaking her head at your new visage in a way that had a kernel of concern bubble in Logan’s chest.

“I’m sorry if I have to kill her.” There was nothing apologetic in your tone. If anything, it sounded like you were completely devoid of emotion, lacking both empathy and compassion for your best friend as you stepped through the threshold and onto the balcony, your shadows following like dogs.

“Is this–” He started before Morgana cut him off.

“How she was before? Yeah…” She confirmed quietly, splitting her concentration between maintaining her mutation and watching you jump nimbly from the balcony onto the grass, striding toward Erin, your shadows in tow. “This was how she coped. All those missions. All those victims. This was how she kept going. It wasn’t solid, and she would break sometimes, but she’d just get better at it. And who’s better at hiding than someone who’s made of the dark?”

His chest constricted with the realisation that, in the relief and disbelief that he really had you back, he hadn’t truly processed everything you’d remembered. You hadn’t been given the time before you launched straight into trying to help the girl you now might have to kill. And when you released your emotions again, when you let down that wall and they all flooded in, he couldn’t stand by and watch as you relived the moment you ended her life.

He promised he would keep you safe, and he failed. He promised he wouldn’t leave you, and he’d failed.

But he’d promised he’d find you. And he promised he’d protect you. Even if that meant from yourself.

“Stay here, help them in any way you can.” He told her, before following where you’d leapt from the balcony. If he could save you the emotional turmoil of having to kill Erin, he would. And if that meant he had to kill her himself and have you hate him forever, he’d be okay with that. But you’d been through enough shit, you’d been made to feel like a monster because of the things you were forced to do.

Not this time.

“ERIN!” Your voice echoed off the trees, bouncing back to you as you strode toward her, eight smoky figures fanning out behind you, the manifestation of each member of your family. Their heads twitched skittishly as if understanding their purpose in the situation, waiting for the command to rip. To tear. To wreak havoc.

Erin’s outstretched hands faltered, her eyes focussing back to you as the snakelike roots halted, the blooming of flowers and weeds around her feet stalled. She bit back a bitter laugh.

“All this time. You’ve been tryna convince me they helped you. They saved you. But look at you. You’re worse now than when we were back with the others. You tell me Kreva did some fucked up shit to us, which I can fucking smell is bullshit, but look at what they’ve done to you.”

Her words fell washed over you like water from a duck’s back, ignoring every pathetic attempt to make you feel bad about what you were. You felt the pull on the threads of your puppets, felt their yearning to make her suffer for what she’d said, but you held them back, tightened their leashes until they came to heel.

“This was always who I was, Erin. I’ve only changed from your perspective because you don’t know who you are. Who any of us are. Not really Do you really think we spent the last ten years living in harmony? Going to work, coming home, meeting the neighbours, drinking and watching movies? People like us don’t get to have that life.” You were losing patience already. If she wasn’t going to calm down and come to her senses, you’d have to neutralise the threat. The figures shuddered with excitement.

“Do you know how fucking crazy you sound? When you’re trying to tell me the last twenty years of my life have been a lie? Naji replaced all our memories? He wouldn’t do that,” She shouted desperately, roots and vines around her feet snaking and writhing in response. “Whatever happened to the flat… what happened to Atlas… I can’t explain it. But if we go back, if we go back and just talk to whoever that was, he’ll set them free… He has to…” she pleaded, and you took a steady step forward. “That’s why I have to do this. I can’t abandon him. I have to help them, but I have to help them now. I don’t trust these people. I don’t know these people. Look what they’ve done to you. To Morgana. I can’t let them do the same to me. Not whilst he’s still in danger.”

You tensed your jaw against the sudden wave of melancholy that broke through your walls, pushing it back as hard as you could, your face falling neutral again behind the mask of shadow. “What do you think we’re trying to do here? He’s got Rowan, Erin. He’s got my fucking brother. And I know the kinds of things Kreva will do to him because I remember. That’s what we’re trying to help you to do. To remember so we can form some kind of plan. But if we have to do this without you,” You paused, raising your hand slightly. “So be it.”

Before you can flick your wrist, a large, calloused hand wrapped around your palm, stopping you in motion.

“Don’t,” Logan growled lowly, though there was no threat in his voice. You clenched your jaw again, testing his strength only to find your wrist held fast in his grip. “This is not what we do.”

You shook your head. “No. This isn’t what you do. You wanted to know what would change when I remembered. Here it is.” You raised your other hand, quickly flicking your wrist before he could catch it, and eight figures walked forward, heads twitching as they went.

“Call them off.”

“She’s a threat.”

“Call. Them. Off.” He urged, eyes hardening. “Now.” He could see your eyes flicker behind the mask as if something was fighting to get through. You glanced back to where Erin had crouched, arms outstretched in preparation to fight back. She was a threat. The mansion was under attack.

And it was all because of you.

“I have to put a stop to this.” Your steely voice started to bend, cracks peaking through the shell. Logan caught it instantly, tugging on that small thread you’d left exposed.

“Not like this. You don’t wanna do it like this. Call them off, Firefly.” He heard your breathing stutter, eyes widening as the mask from your face melted away. He dropped your hand, his palm sliding up the side of your neck to cup your face, acutely aware of how close the shadows were to Erin’s location. “Not like this.” He muttered softly, and your resolve shattered. You lowered you hand, splaying your fingers as the figures dissolved into nothing, returning from their positions back up the balcony and through the door where you pulled them from.

“I–”

“It’s okay. I know. I know.” He pulled you in, cupping the back of your held to hold you beneath his chin, his fingers coursing through your hair, a strong sense of comforting calm soothing the sudden, immense wave of guilt.

“This is real… isn’t it?” Erin asked quietly, her own resolve seemingly breaking apart. You cracked your eyes open, pulling back ever so slightly to look at her exhausted form, nodding in confirmation.

“Yeah. This is real. We haven’t lied to you, Erin. We wouldn’t lie to you. Not about this. Not about your life. Who you are. You’ve had enough lies told to you. And Charles can help you sift through what was real and what wasn’t. Just let us help you.” You implored, stepping from Logan’s embrace and toward her, holding out your hand in an entirely different way to before. “Please. You’re my family, Erin. Let me help you.”

Her toxic green hair fell in front of her face as her head dropped, small sobs shaking her shoulders, and you were by her side as her knees buckled, arms around her frame before she fell to the floor.

“It sucks. I know. We both know, me and Morgana. We know, but it gets easier. It’ll get easier once you remember. I promise.” Despite the horrors of your own past, it had gotten easier once you were restored. You knew who you were, and you’d come to terms with the things you’d done. You know Morgana had too. And you knew Erin would be the same.

“‘Morgana and I’…” she corrected weakly, and you raised a brow.

“Huh?”

“It’s Morgana and I. ‘Not me and Morgana’.”

You chuckled slightly. “Well excuse me grammar police.” Your heart soared as she hiccuped a laugh, raising her head to look at you, her eyes shining, tears staining the sides of her cheeks.

“I’m sorry…”

You offered her an empathetic smile, your brows creasing. “I know. We all are. For everything. Remembering isn’t easy, and it’ll fuck you up for a few hours, but you’ll be okay.” You brought her into your embrace, soothing gentle caresses against her shoulder. “We all will. And we’re gonna get the others back too. I promise.”

“You make a lot of promises now.”

“Cuz I know I can keep ‘em.” You felt her laugh again, sniffing into your collar before removing herself from your arms and standing up.

“Guess I should probably do something about that…” You turned back to where she was looking at the mansion, overtaken with greenery and wrapping vines, briefly catching Logan’s proud gaze on you.

“And easy fix. Don’t worry. We have telekinetics for this kinda thing.” You shrugged, getting to your feet as Erin raised her palms, the school creaking with relief as the invasive vines snaked back into the earth with a slight hiss. The moment they disappeared from the doorway, Morgana came sprinting out, racing down the stone steps.

“Everyone okay!?” She called out, her footsteps pounding on the grass as she all but tackled Erin into a hug, the girl barely able to maintain her footing.

“We’re fine, Morgo. Just an intense reality check.” Erin responded from where she’d been buried in Morgana’s hair, spitting out small strands as she spoke. “I uh… I’m sorry for causing such chaos. I was just scared, I guess.” She explained meekly, and Morgana only tightened her grip.

“It’s okay. We both did the same. Not mansion-crushing poison ivy kinda same, but we weren’t exactly quiet either.” She responded brightly, placing both her hands on Erin’s shoulders. “You ready to remember?” She asked, and Erin nodded slightly.

“Think so… need to see Charles, right?”

“Right. He should be downstairs keeping track of the students. They’re probably on their way back now actually.”

“Way back?”

Morgana scratched the back of her head, almost sheepish to admit what Erin had caused. “We uh, sorta evacuated the school. Ya know, poison ivy and stuff. Not great for kids.”

You watched them continue their conversation, Morgana’s arm tucked tightly in the elbow of Erin’s, the two girls seemingly thrilled one of them wasn’t trying to kill the other. You smiled slightly before it faded with the realisation of what you almost did. What you almost robbed the both of them of.

“‘M prouda ya,” Logan said, tucking you safely against his chest. But you just sighed, resting your temple against the beat of his heart.

“I almost killed her, Lo’. Not sure that’s something you should be proud of.” You retorted a little savagely, clearly shamed by your actions. Logan’s heart clenched.

“But you didn’t. You snapped out ‘ve it and chose option one.”

“And if you weren’t here, Erin would be dead and Morgana would be devastated. And I don’t even wanna think about what it would have done to me…” You closed your eyes as he tilted your head up to look at him, lids fluttering open when his thumb smoothed your brow.

“Then it’s a good job I’m here, isn’t it?”

“And if this happens again?”

“I’ll be here for that too. Not gonna let you go, darlin’.” He murmured into the top of your head, pressing a kiss to the crease between your brows and you felt the tension melt from your bones.

“Thank you.” You whispered, your arms winding around his neck when you felt his lips graze yours, mouth parting instinctively for him. His arms settled around your waist, holding you tight not dissimilar to the way he held you earlier, before this whole thing.

Fuck, how did he breathe the last two months you weren’t with him?

‘I hate to interrupt,’ You both exhaled an irritated sigh as Charles's voice echoed in both of your minds. ‘However, once Erin’s memories are restored, we have a meeting and I would like the both of you to be present. We start planning today.’

Though the intrusion had been unwelcome, once again, a buzz of anticipation flooded your veins. Finally, you’d start forming a plan to get the rest of your family back. Finally, you could start thinking about getting Rowan back. You didn’t have to pace anymore. You didn’t have to think about what he was going through at Kreva’s hands anymore.

You were coming for him. Coming for all of them. And you promised yourself you’d make Kreva wish he was never fucking born.

The meeting didn’t go as planned at all. Two weeks. Two fucking weeks. That was how long Charles had said it would take to gather significant intel and stage a rescue mission. It was too fucking long. Who knows what Kreva would be capable of in two weeks? Two weeks! Fuck’s sake.

You threw open the door to your room, rage burning through your system. You were ready now. Fuck, you were ready two fucking days ago, before you’d even got your memories back. You couldn’t wait another two damn weeks. It was too long. Far too long.

Maybe you could head out on your own. Take Morgana and Erin with you and just go there yourselves. No plan, no backup, just the three of you. You didn’t particularly like the odds, but it was better than just sitting around and waiting. You were back to pacing, back to laying awake at night thinking. Worrying. Two fucking weeks.

“These things take time,” Logan attempted to placate from behind you, softly shutting the door as he watched you restlessly march back and forth, your hands tangled in your hair.

“Is that what they told you when it was me they were looking to rescue? Is that what you convinced yourself when it was my life on the line?” You spat back, tone savage as your mind spun, uncaring of how cruel you sounded. You couldn’t tame your tone. Couldn’t tame your fury. And whilst in the back of your mind you felt bad Logan was the one taking the brunt of it, there that feeling stayed. In the back of your mind.

He sighed, understanding perhaps more than anyone how difficult this was. “No. I was thinking the exact same things as you are now,”

“Oh yeah? Didn’t know you were a telepath. What ‘m I thinking then?” You barked, barely pausing long enough to shoot him a glare before you resumed your fruitless pacing.

“That you should just head out yourself. That it would be easier to do this alone. That they’re being too fucking cautious and you should just storm the place yourself, nobody behind you.” He explained exactly what was running through your head, almost word for word. Huh.

Maybe he was a telepath.

Or maybe you were just two halves of the same soul.

You huffed a sigh, sitting heavily on the edge of the bed, your leg bouncing with pent-up energy. “I’m assuming you didn’t do that.”

He shook his head, taking his rightful place by your side, a broad hand settling on your bouncing thigh. “No. ‘cause I knew the best chance of gettin’ you back safely was to wait. It fuckin’ killed me, don’t get me wrong, but it was worth it. ‘Cause I did get you back. It worked and you’re here now because of it, not in spite of it.”

You rested your head atop his shoulder, trying to calm the electric adrenaline coursing through your veins. “I’m scared, Logan. The things Kreva did in the two months… it felt like a punishment. I’m fairly certain it was a punishment. And now I’ve escaped him, I know he’ll be taking it out on Rowan.” You closed your eyes, fighting against the images flashing through your brain. Bloodied scalpels, exposed organs, your own arms tearing at the restraints on your wrists.

“What did he do…?” He asked quietly, his hand squeezing your thigh slightly. You shook your head.

“I’ll spare you the details, but it was some fucked up autopsy kinda thing. Only we were alive. And fully conscious. Ya know, average Kreva things.”

Fury curled in his gut, and he tensed his jaw to keep from snarling. The moment he got his hands on Kreva he’d delight in tearing him apart. He hated the way you said it so nonchalantly, though he knew it was a way you coped. You had to normalise it in your head, at least for most of the time.

“Christ…”

“Yeah… so I got a few new scars to commemorate the occasions. Fun, huh?” You nudged him gently, and he rolled his eyes. He didn’t quite have the same devil-may-care attitude as you did to your scars, both mental and physical, but he could appreciate the way you managed to find humour. No matter how dark it may be.

“You’re insane.”

“Mhm? You spend almost a century with psychopaths prodding and poking you, see how sane you turn out.” You provoked with a small, mischievous grin, and he genuinely found himself wondering how you managed to be so fucking perfect for him. His body hummed with yearning, fingers dancing across your thigh and he watched your eyes grow heavy-lidded, turning your head to inhale into this side of his neck. “Logan…” you whispered, and he could hear that exact same yearning he felt in his bones against the shell of his ear.

His fingers inched towards the crease between your thighs, your body heating up in response to his delicate touches, your lips peppering kisses against the side of his neck. He suppressed a groan when your nails dug into his forearm, leaving little crescents that quickly faded.

Becoming impatient with his teasing, you swung your leg over to straddle his lap, settling yourself on his growing arousal, your fingers dragging lines of flame up the muscles of his back, scratching beneath the white singlet.

He couldn’t stifle his reaction to your touch, mouth falling open with a quiet moan, his hands coming to either side of your waist, holding you down as you slowly rocked onto him in a vain attempt to ease the ache between your thighs. You hadn’t had sex with him yet since your memories were restored. If Logan was being honest with himself, he was a little afraid of triggering something for you, but the way you panted softly against his lips showed him you wanted him just as much as he wanted you.

“You sure?” He murmured, inhaling your scent from the dip between your shoulder and collarbone, shuddering as your familiarity washed over him, combining with the sweetness of your arousal. How did you always smell so fucking good to him?

“Do I not seem sure?” You shot back teasingly, pinching the shell of his ear between your teeth and tugging a little deviously. Logan huffed a heated breath against your temple as your hands placed firmly against his chest, pushing him until his spine settled against the comforter atop your bed. You teeth sank into your lower lip, your hands skirting up beneath the white singlet, mapping the plains and valleys of his abdomen with your fingertips, scratching down the sides of his ribs, his muscles contracting and relaxing with you exploring touches. You wanted him so fucking badly. You had been wanting him so fucking badly for the last two days, but you respected his self-control to hold back. You knew he was waiting for you, and you were eternally grateful for his consideration. However, the amount of times he’d unintentionally left you high and dry was driving you up the goddamn wall.

You stood from his lap, hooking your fingers beneath the hem of your t-shirt and making a show of pulling it from your body. It didn’t matter what you were wearing. Whether you were dressed to the nines or hanging out in your sweats and a hoody, Logan always made you feel hot as fuck. The way his eyes would shamelessly roam your body, scars and all, made you feel like you never needed to hide from him. Everything about you was desirable to him. It was part of the reason you loved him so fucking much.

Discarding your t-shirt to the floor, your fingers deftly pulled down the zipper of your jeans, swaying your hips as you tugged them down. How you managed to elegantly step from the pool of tight fabric would always be a mystery to him, but a mystery he would attempt to solve at a later date when you weren’t standing before him in nothing but your underwear. You weren’t kidding earlier when you told him you had a few new scars. His mouth watered with the need to run his tongue down the newest one starting from just above your left breast and finishing beneath the right-hand side of your ribcage. He didn’t even want to know how you got that, but he assumed it might have something to do with the live autopsy you were talking about earlier…

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” You quipped cheekily, placing a hand on your hip as if to pose for him. Left in just your bralette and bikini pants, Logan had to check himself to make sure he wasn’t fucking drooling as he sat up, shrugging off his plaid shirt and pulling his white singlet up over his head, dumping them both at the foot of your bed.

“C’mere,” you squealed as he lurched forward, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist to tug you between his spread legs, his cock already throbbing for you, calling needily for attention he would ignore. “You’re so fucking gorgeous, ya know that?” He murmured against your stomach, nipping sharp little marks into your skin, his tongue tracing that new scar up to where it disappeared behind the fabric of your bra. “S’in my way.” He muttered almost to himself, a hint of irritation lacing his tone as he shoved it to bunch up above your breasts. Your snorted a laugh before pulling it up over your head, tossing it to the small pile of clothes you’d left on the floor.

“Better?” You asked, amusement woven through your tone. Logan shook his head, the tips of his fingers tracing the elastic of your underwear, making you shiver.

“No. Still in my way,” he snatched the hem with his teeth, pulling it back before letting it go with a snap against your hips, leaving you gasping for something more. With a sly, wicked smile, Logan released the constant tension he had on his claws, letting one slip through the gap in his knuckles, tracing the back of the warm metal along your inner thigh. “Didn’t forget about this…” he whispered against your skin, eyes torn between concentrating on what he was doing and watching what it did to you, your back arching toward him as he slotted his claw in the apex of your clothed cunt, biting back a grin as you all but ground against the blunt edge.

“Such a fucking tease.” You hissed, your fingers winding into the soft, brown locks of his hair, nails digging into the top of his head, pulling a low groan from the back of his throat. You grinned to yourself, tugging harshly on the threads woven through your fingers, earning yourself yet another wanton growl. If he was gonna tease you all damn evening, you’d be damned if you weren’t gonna tease him right back.

Logan angled his claw down slightly, giving you further room to grind down against it simultaneously making sure he wasn’t in any danger of cutting you at all. That wasn’t something either of you had explored yet, and whilst he was okay with you toeing the line of danger, he wasn’t quite open to hurting you. Not yet. Not when he just got you back. Hurting you was the last thing on his mind. “C’mon princess, use me.” He encouraged lowly, his other hand guiding your hips in slow, languid strokes, pressing his thumb against your hip bone. You whined at his words, sandwiching your lips between your teeth to deliberately deprive him of your sounds. You knew he fucking loved it when you moaned for him, you knew he loved it when he could hear just how well he was treating you.

Not today. Not if he was going to do nothing but fucking tease you.

He could feel the heat from your soaked cunt, feel every slick movement as you soaked the crotch of your bikinis. All that from the slightest pressure from one of his claws. The implications had his mind spinning. He had an inkling you were locking your sweet noises away from him on purpose, but Logan was nearly always up for a challenge. Removing his claw from your apex, he deftly sliced through the elastic of your pants, growling a chuckle as you gasped again. Sliding to his knees, his palm grabbed the meat of your thigh, shamelessly throwing your leg over his shoulder, exposing your glistening centre.

“Gonna make you fuckin’ scream, darlin’.” You barely had time to think of a witty quip back before his tongue gently nudged between your folds, hot pleasure spiking through your veins as his nose nudged your swollen clit. You sucked in a harsh breath, your fingers tightening their hold on his hair, twisting through soft locks to hold him in place. Logan’s eyes rolled back behind closed lids, lapping up your sweet nectar with his tongue.

You couldn’t hold back your guttural moan when his mouth settled over your throbbing pearl, sucking gently against the sensitivity. Your spine curled around his head and you had a front-row seat to the way the muscles in his back tensed with the effort to not throw you on the bed and pick you apart. He snarled hotly when one of your hands left his hair to claw up those same tensing muscles, earning yourself a harsh suck against your clit, vibrations from his voice sending little waves of ecstasy through your system.

“Logan…” you breathed airily, your tone pitching with a whine when his hand skirted up your inner thigh for his fingers to tease your slick entrance, seemingly content to feel you gush against his fingertips before slowly burying his middle finger inside you.

He revelled in your gasps, your moans, knowing that no matter how hard you tried, you could never hide just how fucking good he could make you feel. It stroked his ego, your wordless praise going straight to his throbbing, leaking cock. That mixed with the natural aphrodisiac of your essence had him gripping your outer thigh tightly in an attempt to ground himself and keep his shit together. But it was becoming increasingly more difficult the moment you arched into him as the rough pad of his finger reached that little bundle of nerves deep within your silken walls.

Oh, how he fucking yearned to replace that finger with his cock.

Your back bowed as liquid pleasure flooded every fibre of your being, unable to stop your desperate grinding against his face, sharp nails clawing into the meat of his shoulder, feeling his soft laughter beneath your palms. He had you. He knew he had you. Exactly where he wanted you. And if you were being honest with yourself, you were all too happy to accept that if it meant he wouldn’t stop.

“Fuck! Fuck Logan…” You whimpered, hips undulating onto his tongue as he introduced a second finger, scissoring you open before exploring deeping, once again finding that little spot that made your eyes cross and stars dance in your vision. The tension in your gut started to become unbearable, every breath laced with a pitched moan of his name, repeating it like a prayer to the skies above as you threw your head back.

He wasn’t lying. He was going to make you scream.

Nimble fingers curled inside you repeatedly, massaging your inner walls whilst his tongue continued to lap at your clit, beckoning you further towards that cliff, dangerously toeing the edge when his lips wrapped back around your pearl of pleasure and sucked long and hard.

A quiet scream tore from your throat, somehow still mindful of the fact you were in the mansion and screaming any louder would definitely alert your poor neighbours of what was going on inside the walls of your room. Heated lightning flashed behind your eyes as your arousal crested into sheer ecstasy, your thighs clamping around his head to hold him right there whilst your orgasm shook your very core, your muscles contracting with every endless wave of pure, hot rapture.

Logan groaned long and deep into your cunt, using his own voice to heighten and lengthen your orgasm before it became too much for you and you were forced to tug him back, faced with his glistening visage of proud glee. You guessed two months of no sex had been building your sensitivity to a crescendo, your thighs still trembling slightly though you were by no means done. Fuck you wanted to devour him.

“Jeans. Off. Now.” You managed to pant darkly, watching his eyes sparkle with the unspoken promise as he wiped your slick from his mouth, maintaining your gaze as he lapped at the back of his hand. Christ, he was fucking filthy sometimes.

“Yes ma’am,” he quipped back, slowly lowering your leg from his shoulder, making certain you could still stand on your own before he rose to his feet, capturing your lips in a brutal, passionate kiss as he passed your face. You gasped into his mouth, tasting yourself on his tongue, your own hands flying to the buckle of his belt, flicking open the steel and tightening the leather around his waist briefly, a small display of assertion, before removing it entirely and looping it around your hand. Oh, you had plans tonight, plans to show him just how much you’d missed him. To show him you had no intentions of letting him go.

Dexterous fingers popped open the brass button atop his jeans, carefully dragging the zipper down before shoving both jeans and briefs from his hips, leaving him to handle the rest whilst your coal-hot palm circled his pulsing length.

Logan’s jaw fell slack as he kicked off the fabric, brows pinching as you slowly pumped his cock, your thumb dragging along the prominent vein running down the underside of his length. The clinking of his belt in your other hand had his eyes drifting down, his mind straining to form a coherent thought as you looked at him questioningly.

“What’re you thinkin’?” he managed to grit, having to wrap his fingers around your wrist to stop your motions before he lost himself again. You pursed your lips, dragging your leather-bound hand across his chest and up to his shoulder.

“Honestly?”

“Honestly.”

You paused for a moment, a wicked glint gleaming in your eye. “I wanna wrap this around your neck and pull on it whilst I suck your fucking soul out of your cock.”

Logan almost choked on his own gathering saliva, and he should really be ashamed of how fucking hot you just made him, his cock throbbing at the mere thought of your intentions. “And you said I was filthy… fuck darlin’. Might’ve been the hottest thing you’ve ever said.” He breathed, delighting in the downright villainous look in your gaze. Holy fucking shit.

“Yeah? Want me to collar you like a dog?” You had no idea where any of this was coming from. Sure you’d had fantasies of tying him up and worshipping him the same way he’d done to you, but all this dirty talk? You had no damn clue.

“Fuck yes.” He hissed, and your lips split into a devilish grin.

“Sit.” You instructed, and he did just that, no questions asked, legs spread for you to kneel between, his cock twitching needily. “So obedient.”

His chest inflated as you rose on your knees, twirling the length of the belt from your hand and winding it around his thick neck, feeding the end through the buckle and pulling until it was snuck against his skin. All the while he nipped sharp bites wherever your wrist was in reach of his mouth, his palm holding your arm still so he could trail his teeth up to the crease of your elbow.

You gave the belt an experimental tug, admiring the way he gasped at the leather tightened briefly around his neck, pulling his head back from your skin. You felt his cock nudge your stomach with the slight buck of his hips in response to the sensation.

Settling back down to sit on your heels, you kept the end of the belt clasped tightly in one hand, the other returning to palm his cock, admiring the way he gasped loudly as the centre of your hand circled his sensitive tip, spreading clear pre-cum up and down his shaft. You leaned forward, savouring the bite in your knees as your hot breath fanned the underside of his length, your tongue only gently grazing that same vein you ran your thumb down earlier.

“Fuck…” he sighed, his head tipping back, bracing one hand behind him and the other atop your head, fingers scratching at the roots of your hair. It had been too fucking long since he had you like this, and the tightening leather around his neck only served to further his heightened sensitivity.

Opening your mouth, you wrapped your lips around his leaking tip, your tongue lapping against his frenulum, tugging at the belt as his hips bucked into your mouth, craving more. He hissed, baring his teeth in a silent snarl as you hollowed your cheeks, sucking in time to the rhythmic pulsing of his length, your other hand dragging teasing nails up and down what you hadn’t fit in your mouth yet, before all at once, you tore your hand away, opened your throat and swallowed the rest of his cock.

Logan’s back arched, a stuttered moan tearing from his chest as your nose buried itself in the course hairs at his naval, gasping raggedly as you gave the belt another harsh tug, cold leather digging into the straining tendons on the sides of his neck, pressing against his prominent adam’s apple and constricting his breathing for a moment. The second it loosened, a hot wave of ecstasy coursed through his veins as he inhaled, honey-laced lightning filling his lungs when you pulled back from his cock, only to run your tongue down the underside of his length again as you sucked him off.

“Shit… shit sweetheart. Feel so fucking good…” he groaned as you worked him, every drag of your hot mouth pulling him closer to his high, every small gag tightening your throat around his throbbing cock. Tears lined your eyes as you took him as deep as you could once again, your hand bracing against his hip as he bucked sharply, uncontrollably, into your mouth. He gasped to the ceiling as his head fell back, tightening the leather as you held the end in a death grip, not providing any slack for him. Brows pinched, mouth agape, Logan felt himself cresting the pinnacle of pleasure, hand grasping your hair as he failed to still his grinding hips.

“Gonna cum baby, f-fuck, gonna cum…!” he rasped a warning, only encouraging you to hollow your cheeks further and bring him over the edge in a similar way he’d done to you only moments ago. Your tongue danced against his pulsing vein, nails digging into his hip bone as you sucked long and hard, tugging the belt sharply and sending him into trembling ecstasy.

A throaty, drawn-out roar wracked his throat as he tumbled head first into his orgasm, mindful to tear his hand from your head as his claws ripped through his knuckles, shooting rope after copious rope of cum down your throat, his thighs shaking with each delicious wave. He couldn’t find it in him to care for the tearing of fabric as he ripped clean through your comforter, powerful tides of liquid hedonistic gratification sending his mind spinning and clouding his senses.

You didn’t stop your ministrations, swallowing every drop you pulled from him before continuing to circle the back of your tongue against his increasingly sensitive tip until he was bucking to escape the heat of your mouth. You had half the mind to tug on the belt once more, to get him to behave, but the fresh ache in your cunt was loud enough to release him, wanting nothing more than to feel him quake inside you.

Pulling off with a soft pop, you delivered a few kitten licks to his still leaking slit before looking up to admire your work, Logan’s blissful, fucked out visage doing nothing to satiate your building desperation.

When you said you’d suck his soul out, he didn’t think you meant literally. Basking in the afterglow of his orgasm, Logan had to check himself to make sure you hadn’t somehow killed him, his heart racing with the force of his high, chest heaving as he fought for breath. You loosened the belt slightly and he groaned lowly with the sudden intake of oxygen, yet another wave of pleasure forcing another bubble of milky cum from his tip. Softly, you unhooked the belt from the buckle, sliding it from around his neck and discarding it to the floor along with the rest of your forgotten clothing, your hands cradling the fading bruises on either side of his throat.

Cracking his eyes open, he genuinely had a moment where he did think he was dead because you looked otherwordly above him. A seraphim. Or a succubus. He couldn’t decide which.

“I’d say that was a successful addition, wouldn’t you?” The audacity you had to expect him to respond right now was unbelievable, your soft arms wrapping around his freshly healed neck as you went to straddle his settling thighs, mindful of his overly sensitive cock. You knew it wouldn’t be too long until he was ready for another round, so why not spend that time teasing him a little?

“Fucking hell darlin’...” he managed, his claws sinking back between his knuckles before his hands came to cradle your waist, finding enough strength to pull you with him as he shuffled back onto the bed, propping himself up against your pillows and headboard. “You tryna kill me or somethin’?” he grinned, a brow arched at your wicked little giggle.

“Wouldn’t be a bad way to go.” You retorted, winding your hands into his hair soothingly, moulding your lips to his so he could taste himself on your tongue, your own essence still lingering in his mouth.

“What’s that then? Attempt three? Four? On my life?” he asked, pulling back a fraction to watch you roll your eyes playfully.

“Who’s counting?”

Logan shook his head fondly. All the fear of losing you. All the pain of failing to protect you. The agony of waiting. It was all worth it to see you here, now, with him. He still couldn’t quite believe he had you back in his arms. “Fuck I love you. So fucking much, Firefly.” He murmured against your lips, your eyes widening slightly before pouring every ounce of adoration in your heart into a fierce kiss.

“Want you, Logan…” you breathed, feeling his cock already hardening against your cunt, grinding your hips to catch your clit on his balls.

“You have me, sweetheart.” He responded, bracing his hands against your back to switch positions, your world spinning for a moment before you nestled back into the pillows, strong arms caging you in. “You have me.” He repeated, teasing the head of his cock through your slick folds before slowly breaching you.

Your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, ankles crossing at the small of his back as he filled you, the desperation of before having shifted to something more sensual, more passionate. He didn’t just want to fuck you. He wanted to love you.

Your brows pinched, eyes closing, an airy gasp floating from your lips with the familiar stretch of his length filling your perfectly. He stilled as he settled to the hilt, basking in the feeling of your tight walls clenching around him, shaky breaths fanning your temple as he fought with himself not to cum on the damn spot.

“Look at me…” he urged softly, your lids fluttering open to meet his intense gaze, watching his jaw slacken when he pulled out to the tip, before rolling his hips back into you, mesmerised by every micro-expression you made. Your thighs tightened around his waist, heels digging into the base of his spine as you encouraged his movements. He kept his thrusts slow and deep, reaching every inch of your inner walls, grazing deliciously against that bundle of nerves he was teasing with his fingers before you had him in your mouth.

“I love you.” You whispered, hands holding onto the sinewy muscles of his shoulders, welcoming him into your quivering cunt with every rhythmic pulse of his cock breaching your glistening entrance. Logan huffed a gravelly groan, soft eyes searching tracing every detail of your features, the way your mouth fell open, the way you fought to keep your eyes open when his length bushed that little spot of pure ecstasy inside you, the crease in the centre of your brows when they pinched. He committed each little expression to memory, before losing himself completely in your silken heat.

Logan increased the pace of his movements, pleasure coursing through his veins as you shuddered around him, your nails piercing the skin of his shoulders, desperation fuelling the clawing across the top of his back. Your pitched moans went straight to his cock, urging him to bury his face in the side of your neck and inhale your sweet scent, driving him to give you as much as he could.

“C’mon baby… can feel you clenchin’ round me. Let go,” he instructed, savouring the way your thighs trembled, your spine arching. “Cum f’me darlin’. Show me how good it feels.”

Your symphony of moans climaxed along with your body, the shadows in the room quivering and whipping out as you struck your high, cumming in long, drawn-out waves and creaming on his pulsing cock. Logan tensed as he refrained from spilling into your for as long as he could, determined to prolong your ecstasy before he reached his own. But the moment you surged up to bury your teeth in the side of his neck, he came undone.

“Sh-shit! Fuck!” He growled your name through grit teeth, heaving gasps as he lost control of his hips for the second time that night, bucking into you with renewed desperation as his muscles contracted, rapturous nectar pulsing from his cock as he pumped into your waiting heat, your walls gripping and milking him for all he was worth.

Phantom tides of lightning caused his length to twitch within you, and it took nearly all his strength not to collapse and crush you beneath him, rolling to the side, your legs still wrapped around his waist, keeping him nestled inside you.

Logan pulled your into his sweat-oiled chest, his heavy breathing calming slightly as you nuzzled into the hollow of his throat, your own hot breaths fanning his already heated skin whilst the two of you basked in the floating afterglow, his scruff scratching lightly against your forehead as you buried your face in his neck.

He held you as you came back to earth, untangling your legs from his waist, hissing as he pulled out and lifted his side for you to remove your other leg from where he was essentially holding it hostage with his weight.

“Where the fuck did that whole belt thing come from?” he asked with no small degree of humour in his voice once he remembered how to think properly. He felt you shake with laughter, tilting your head up to gaze into his mirthful hazel eyes.

“Been wanting to do something with that damn belt since the first time we slept together. Maybe the first time you kissed me, actually…” you hummed thoughtfully, and he cocked a brow. He remembered that first morning you woke up together, your confession over leaving the belt somewhere within reach just in case.

He always wondered what the case would have been. Now he knew. And it was the single hottest thing you’d ever done.

“Such a freak.” He mumbled, gently hitting his nose against yours as you rolled your eyes.

“You’re saying that as if you didn’t cave the moment I suggested it. I asked if you wanted me to collar you and you responded, and I quote, ‘fuck yes’.” You did your best to imitate his voice, failing miserably as you couldn’t reach that low or gravelly. Logan rolled his eyes, shoving your head back into his neck where you couldn’t see just how wrapped around your finger he truly was.

“That was a shit impression.”

“Whaddya mean, bub?” You did it again, earning yourself a sharp pinch to your waist before you devolved into fits of giggles.

“Stop.” He fought back a grin, refusing to show you how amused he truly was by your antics. “You’re a hundred-and-five years old, act your age.”

“Logan if I acted my age I’d be dead. And so would you, for that matter,” you quipped back, earning yourself a snort of laughter above you.

“Good point well made.”

“Speaking of which…” you raised your head from his neck once again, propping yourself up on your elbow. “I never did thank you, did I? For not telling me how you found out my birthday. Guess I never got the chance but– thank you. I know you don’t like lying to me so it means a lot that you did.”

You watch him struggle to accept your gratitude, clearly battling between the guilt of not telling you at the time and the want to keep you in the dark to stop you from dwelling.

“How long’ve you known?”

“Since Charles restored my memory. After my freakout. It was the first thing Jade showed me. My birthday in the cabin,” you responded softly, idly tracing the muscles of his bicep with your fingers. “We gotta go back, by the way. I think I left my gift there.” You admitted sheepishly.

“It’s here.”

Your eyes shot back to his face, and he couldn’t have recreated your expression of surprised awe if you had given him all the art lessons in the world. “It’s here?”

“Yep.”

“Wh- h- what? When? How?” your pitch increased with each question, your brain working overtime to try and remember when he would have had the time to pick it up in the rush of both packing and leaving that night two months ago.

“Remember you forgot ya purse?” He asked, a fond glint dancing in his eyes.

“Well yeah but–”

“Grabbed it on the way out. It was on the mantlepiece next to that ridiculous picture you took.”

“I like that picture!” You defended avidly, remembering the day you took it. It was a freezing autumn afternoon, though there was nothing but sunshine in the sky. You’d wrapped a scarf around his neck as he worked on the bike outside, snapping a sneaky pic of him all snug. It was one of your favourite pictures, and you’d got it printed and framed without him even knowing about it. How you managed to do any of that behind his back you wouldn’t say, but he let you display it because it made you happy.

“Besides the point. It’s uh– in my closet.” It was his turn to sound a little guilty, soft tones laced with culpability.

“Your closet? Why? It’s gorgeous.” You tilted your head as much as you could with the awkward position, struggling to understand why he would shut away such an incredible display of his woodworking skills.

“I couldn’t look at it…” he confessed, and you inhaled a micro gasp of understanding. It was a reminder of what he’d lost for the last two months. You hadn’t really taken the time to contemplate just how hard things had been for him. In a way, having your memories completely readjusted had worked in your favour. You couldn’t miss what you didn’t remember. But Logan? He remembered all of it. And he’d spent the last two months wondering if he’d ever see you again.

“Logan…” you murmured, your hand leaving his arm to cup the side of his face, heartbreaking as he leaned into your touch a fraction, the scruff of his beard tickling the heel of your palm. “I’m so sorry.” You didn’t quite know why you were apologising. Maybe for having it easier with not being able to miss him the same way he missed you. For not truly understanding what he went through. For being so focused on yourself and your brother, you hadn’t taken a moment to think about his experiences. Sure, you’d asked how he was holding up, but it didn’t seem enough.

“S’okay. You’re here now.” It was a reassurance for himself more than anything else, you could see it in the way he savoured your touch, your thumb dragging gently back and forth over his cheekbone.

“I’m here now.” You affirmed, nudging his nose with yours before resting your forehead against his. “I’m here.”

“I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, firefly.”

Your eyes blew wide, searching his face for the deception you knew you wouldn’t find. “What…?”

“Not a proposal or anythin’, don’t worry. Just wanted you to know. Come far too close to losin’ you to not say shit like this, I guess.” He tried to play it off like his heart wasn’t in his damn throat, watching every micro-expression you made, looking for any sign of rejection. But the way your eyes watered slightly, lips splitting into a smile of sheer, unadulterated joy, told him that there would be no such thing from you.

“I wouldn’t be mad if it was, but I am yours. For however long you’ll have me.” You continued to trace his features, the creases at the corners of his eyes as his mouth quirked into a soft, fond smile.

“So ‘til one of us keels over. Might be some time.”

“I think I’m okay with that.”

The rythmic tapping of nails against oak occupied your mind as you started blankly at the presentation screen ahead of you, details of the latest draft of the search and rescue mission glowing faintly on the screen. But you finding it difficult to concentrate on Scott’s authoritative voice when his plan didn’t make any goddamn sense.

“Wasn’t that the entrance you used last time? Fairly certain Kreva would have worked that out by now…” Morgana offered with uncertainty, and you grunted in agreement, your leg bouncing in growing irritation as once again, the meeting was going fucking nowehere. Logan’s hand settled on your thigh, his thumb caressing soothing circles onto the top of your sweatpants.

“There’ll be twice as many guards there than there were last time, if there were any there at all.” You followed up, speaking through where your teeth chewed at your cuticles, your tapping nails ceasing to settle you other palm atop Logan’s knuckles, a silent gesture to reassure him you were alright.

“Guards won’t be a problem.” He snarled quietly, resisting the urge to prove his point by releasing the tension in his knuckles. You bit back a smile.

“We also gotta remember,” Morgana continued, flipping her hair back behind her shoulder. “Kreva will also be expecting something from us now. Especially since he grabbed Rowan for this exact reason. He’ll be expecting you.” She turned her attention to you, and you frowned in acknowledgment. You knew that. You all knew that. And you’d lost count of the amount of times people had tried to convince your to stay here and not head out with them. Each conversation ended fairly abruptly, with you telling them to fuck off.

“And he still has his trump card, Naji.” Erin chimed in, her cheek resting on her palm as if she was bored out of her mind, her other hand mindless tapping on her phone. You knew she was actually listening pretty intently, her brain working overtime to come up with creative solutions to the problems that just wouldn’t stop arising. She wanted to get Atlas out with as little risk as possible, and she was also one of the people who had tried to convince you to step back, but backed down when you promptly mentioned she wasn’t the only one missing someone she loved deeply.

That shut her up pretty damn quickly.

“I thought we’d decided Jean would take care of Naji?” You couldn’t keep the frustration in your voice as you were once again having to go back over issues that had already been resolved. Why the fuck was this being brought up yet again? And awkward silence blanketed the room, Jean, Scott and Charles exchanging quick, uncertain glances.

“We did… but we decided it wouldn’t be a good idea,” Scott said, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms, already defensive. As he should be.

“What? Why? Who else better to engage in a mind battle than a fucking telepath? And I’m not being funny, but I’m assuming Charles isn’t coming, correct?” You turned your head to the Professor as he nodded in confirmation.

“I’ll be there in Cerebro.” Was all he said, and you looked back to Scott pointedly.

“Exactly. So why the hell wouldn’t we send Jean to Naji?”

“It’s too dangerous.” He stated simply, and you fought the urge to lunge across the table and slap the shit out of him.

“Of course it’s dangerous. This is dangerous for all of us! But Jean agreed, right?” You tnow turned to her, desperate for her to confirm what had already happened. But she too looked hesitant.

“Yeah, I did.” She sighed, and you gave Scott a look of ‘fuck you, asshole’. But he only tightened his jaw.

“So why are we now deciding that sending a telepath after a memory manipulator is a bad idea?”

“Perhaps we should adjourn this meeting for later?” Hank offered after being all but silent the entire time.

“No, fuck that. This is important. Do you guys know what’s at stake here? I’m assuming Logan wasn’t the only one to read the fild, right? You do know what Kreva did to us, yes?” You asked the room to to yet another chorus of quiet, confirming your fears. Barely anyone in this room knew exactly what they were up against. “You’re fucking kidding me…” You breathed, trying to focus on Logan squeezing your leg to help ground your fury.

“She’s right,” he chimed in, and your heart surged. No matter what, you knew he would fight your corner. He always did. “Pretty sure the only ones here who can fight against mind battles are Jean and Charles. None of us can put up those kinda defences and if that fucker snatches up one of us, the whole plan goes outta whack.”

“And what will you be doing?” Scott shot from across the table, and you felt Logan tense slightly.

“What I do best.” He responded flatly, and you got the distinct feeling this meeting was about to become a lot more heated.

“So whilst you’re running around carving through carrion, Jean will be fighting the real battle, that right?” Okay, now it was really taking all your concentration not to smack his glasses off his fucking face. What the hell did he mean by real battle?

“I think Hank was right, maybe we should–” Kurt began awkwardly from the corner, clearly already hating the growing confrontation. But he was instantly cut off by you, rising to Scott’s challenge.

“Oh I’m sorry, is keeping your girlfriend safe by taking out hundreds of gunmen not enough?” You bit, venom dripping from your tone. Scott scoffed as the rest of the room shuffled anxiously, Ororo pinching the bridge of her knows between her fingers as if this whole conversation was giving her a headache.

“‘His girlfriend’ is in the room.” Jean placed a hand on her hip, her eyes hardening as she looked between the two opposing sides. But it seemed neither Logan, Scott nor yourself noticed.

“My girlfriend is the only reason you made it out that damn place with your mind still intact, and the only reason you didn’t go ape shit and kill the rest of us like you did Jade.”

“Scott!” Storm barked, but it was far too late. The damage was done. Your head tilted to the side, shadows in the room rippling and writhing as your control over the threads inside you started to slip.

“The fuck is wrong with you?” Logan snarled, his hands balling into fists as he too engaged in the same battle to keep control.

“Just because you got a new girlfriend Logan doesn’t mean you can throw mine into the fray. It wasn’t so long ago you were eyeing her up at every opportunity,” he turned back to you. “I’d be careful if I were you. Wait ‘til the next pretty girl waltzes into the school, you’ll be old news to him.”

The following silence was so thick it tasted like bitter resentment. You swore it was only two months ago Scott was congratulating the both of you on your newfound relationship. Why the fuck was he acting like this.

It didn’t matter anyway. He’d said what he’d said and you slowly stood from your seat. The room watched you with prey-like caution, Scott’s fingers dancing across his glasses, Ororo’s hands flexing in anticipation. They were still scared. Still scared of you. And you couldn’t help but think it was with good reason, because the way you were currently feeling, you could have drowned this whole room in darkness without hesitation.

But you wouldn’t be who they saw. Only Morgana and Erin seemed at ease, Erin with that same bored look, tapping away on her phone, and Morgana looking as if she’d just watched the latest episode of the juiciest TV show.

“Meeting adjourned.” You said with deathly quiet, before stalking from the room, hearing a sharp ‘the fuck was that Scott’ from Ororo as you let your feet carry you away. You refused to feel insecure in your relationship with Logan. It wasn’t that long ago, maybe a week or so, he was saying how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. You knew Scott was bitter about the way Jean had behaved, and the man placed a lot of the blame on your partner, despite the fact she was the one who’d lead him on. Gave him hope where there wasn’t any. Not that any of that mattered now. It was in the past. Old news. And news you’d already been told, by Logan himself.

That wasn’t even what got to you. It was his comment about Jade. Whilst you’d put your self-hatred and guilt to bed, it still didn’t mean it wasn’t easy for it to rise again. You felt the all to familiar waves of regret wax and wane in your chest, the memory of her death playing on repeat in your head, through your own eyes. You clenched your jaw against them, trying to remember that she had forgiven you for what you’d done. She didn’t hold it against you, and the locket currently bouncing against the hollow of your throat was a testament to that.

You didn’t even realise you’d made it outside until the sharp winter air seeped through your bones. At least the sky was clear, clusters of stars blinking down at you, but rather than finding peace, you instead felt judgement. Which was ridiculous. But you felt it anyway, in the passionate deaths of a million fireballs light-years away from Earth. You sucked in a deep breath, allowing the icy air to soothe the burning in your chest, letting your bubbling rage settle into a gentle stew.

You heard him before you saw him, heavy footsteps crunching on gravel before a large, warm jacket settled atop your shoulders, bathing you in the comforting scent of whiskey and pine. You stayed silent for a moment, Logan’s hand finding yours subconsciously.

“Did you kill him?” You asked by way of greeting, and you heard a soft huff of small laughter by your side.

“Not yet. Want me to?”

“I’m real good at hiding bodies.”

“That I don’t doubt.”

Logan felt his gut twist as you continued looking skyward, hoping you were finding some kind of solace in the feeling of unimportance when faced with the rest of the universe. Feeling small was something Logan was too familiar with, but when staring into the infinite, glittering void above, he found a comforting sense of mortality, despite thus far proving to be immortal. But then he remembered Scott’s scathing comment, and he was brought back to the issue at hand. “You know it’s bullshit, right?”

You blinked for a moment, failing to understand what he was referring to. “What’s bullshit?”

“The whole thing about the next pretty girl…” he clarified quietly, his fingers flexing and squeezing between yours.

“Oh, pff, that? I’m not worried. Like I said, I’m real good at hiding bodies.” You grinned slightly, and you watched his face relax in relief. Was he really worried about such a petty comment? It soothed your aching heart to know he was.

“Good.” He murmured to the top of your hair, his hand leaving yours to wrap his arm around your shoulders.

“Good that I can hide bodies?”

“That too.”

You hummed in contented agreement, basking in the warmth of his presence, returning your gaze to the night sky. “You okay? That was quite a shot fired from Scott.” You quieried, craning your neck further to look at his side profile, his eyes still trained above.

“‘M’fine. After you left they got into an argument so that was kinda cathartic to watch.”

“Who? Scott and Jean?”

“Mhm.” He hummed in confirmation, and you snorted a laugh.

“What was she saying?”

“That he needs to stop treating her like she can’t handle herself, that she isn’t made of glass.”

“Sounds familiar.” You lightly elbowed his side and he raised a brow down to you, deftly flicking your forehead before you could pull away in time.

The quiet of the night invaded the space between you, settling comfortably atop unspoken affection. “What he said about Jade…”

“I’m fine, Lo’. Sure, it kinda caught me off guard, but I probably should have expected it. Especially since I was questioning his fragile authority.” You shrugged, but Logan knew the depth of the wound Scott had cut. He didn’t think there would be a time when digs about Jade wouldn’t resurface those feelings of fear and liability.

“I love you, ya know that?”

You sighed warmly. “Yeah, I know.” You responded, once again letting the silence settle for a beat before you inhaled a breath. “Jean? Really?”

Logan groaned in response, it was the same conversation you’d started when he’d first told you about that whole situation. “Yeah, I know. Don’t.”

“But like, okay she’s hot, and a red-head so like, double whammy, but she’s kinda creepy. Feels like something’s going on under the surface, ya know?”

“Look, she was the first person who’d shown me any kind of kindness for a long time, a’ight?”

“Okay but like, if someone helped you across the street, would you fall in love with them, too?”

“What am I? Eight-five?”

“No, you’re hundred and thirty. Eighty-five’s pretty sprightly in comparison.”

“And that’s enough talkin’.” He wrapped both arms around your shoulder, hiding your face beneath his chin to muffle your voice, your rapid breaths of laughter fanning his neck. “It wasn’t the same, anyway.”

“Hm?” You tried to pull back, only to be met with resistance from Logan’s hand against the back of your head.

“It wasn’t the same, how I felt ‘bout her. To how I feel ‘bout you. Never was ‘n never will be.” He didn’t need to say it. You both knew he didn’t need to say it. But that’s why it meant so much more that he did. Your soul sang within the centre of your very being, to be so loved after all you’ve gone through, you never thought something like this would be possible, let alone allowing yourself to love someone back. Even with Jade, you felt as if you didn’t have the right to love her.

But Logan? He made you feel so safe.

“I know.” You repeated into the home you’d made in the crook of his neck. Logan exhaled a hum, Adam’s apple sending soft vibrations through your nose as he simply held you for a moment, before sniffing the air twice the combined scent of earth coated iron had his lips pulling into a slight smile.

“She’s all yours.” Logan stole a glance behind him to where both Erin and Morgana were standing silently, respectfully waiting for the sweet moment to naturally come to a close. When you pulled back this time, he let you, his hand falling to your waist before pecking your lips with a honeyed kiss.

It was only when he stepped back from you did you realise you had company, too wrapped up in his presence to hear their shoes on the gravel. He offered you a nod of reassurance, and you offered him a warm smile in return before he turned his back and heading back inside, his jacket still hanging snugly across your shoulders.

“That was cute,” Erin began as she tucked her phone into her back pocket, the two girls coming to stand on either side of you, both of them looping their arms through your elbows. “Scratch that. He’s cute. Can’t believe you’re actually dating that gorgeous hunk of a man. So unfair.” She pouted slightly, and you chuckled.

“I know right? We escape for seven years and what do we do? Become strippers and gardeners. You escape for seven years and find yourself a partner, a family and a team. Talk about bullshit.” Morgana chided with a cheeky grin, her eyes flashing in the low light.

“Yeah well… I did also kill the woman I loved so it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows.” You admitted, watching their expressions morph from cheeky to melancholic in a heartbeat. You guessed they still weren’t quite used to that fact yet. You’d had longer to come to terms with it, at least after Charles restored your memories. They’d only found out a week ago. It was still a hard pill to swallow. Jade was gone. For good.

Your breath clouded in front of your face as you returned to look skyward, finding less judgment in the stars and more comfort. If nothing else, they’d been a constant in your life. Whether you were out killing for Kreva or out fighting for your family. They’d always been there above you. Keeping you company on the long, difficult nights.

“I’m gonna miss her,” Erin whispered into the night, her arm tightening around yours. “She was–”

“Fun.” Morgana finished, casting a glance at her two sisters by her side. You huffed a laugh.

“We were fun. Whilst we weren’t being fucked up. We had a lot of fun.” You felt a slight burn in your eyes. It was only just dawned on you that your lives together were coming to an end. When you got Atlas, Rowan, Naji and Joes back, what would happen to Nimlo? Would you all stay together? It seemed unlikely. Erin didn’t seem all too comfortable in the mansion, and you had an idea that once she was back with Atlas, that would be it for the two of them. They’d go their separate ways. Rowan would stay by your side, maybe get a job here at the school teaching physics or something. Joes could never stay in one place for very long, always flitting between rooms for a ‘change of scenery’ he would say. Naji would most likely become a recluse, not that he was particularly social, to begin with.

But Morgana? You had a feeling she was directionless. Torn between different paths. You knew she could stay here. The team would welcome her with open arms, and you’d seen the way she got on particularly well with Kurt, the two of them cracking up in the corner after one of them made some stupid joke. But there was no guarantee that, after this, you’d ever see many of them again.

“You remember when we graffitied that guy’s wall?” Morgana broke the silence, her voice thick with a similar emotion to yours.

“And Joes had to distract him by telling him the longest, most elaborate story about the time he went to get his ass checked out by a doctor only to realise he just had pin-worms?” Erin continued, clearing her throat slightly so she could speak without her voice breaking.

You cracked a broad grin, shoulders shaking with teary laughter as you remembered that night vividly. You were all a bored band of misfits with a can of paint and an idea, drawing a dick and balls on one of the neighbourhood’s walls before being caught with a flashlight in the middle of the act. Joes rushed into performance mode, telling this poor man the story of his completely fabricated visit to the doctor’s in graphic detail. He was so stunned it gave you precious few moments to make a break for it, sprinting down the side streets to the disgruntled shouts of an angry man. You vaguely wondered how he was doing now, before remembering he never existed.

“Or when we stole that woman’s car after being caught shoplifting.” You chimed, looking at Morgana pointedly. She gaped in mock offence.

“I refuse to take the blame for that. Atlas was supposed to be on watch but somehow got distracted.” She sent a faux glare across you to Erin, who’d done her best to craft a mask of complete innocence.

“I had nothing to do with that! You wanna talk about poor lookouts? How about we never put Rowan on scout duty ever again? Why did we think it was a good idea to put the damn light-weaver on lookout, at night time?”

The two girls both turned to look at you. “Hey! Why ‘m I getting the blame for that? It was Jade’s idea! She said to ‘let him have a go’, so don’t you look at me like that!” You couldn’t suppress your wicked smile, feeling a little at fault but honestly, not giving a rat’s ass. “Is it my imagination or did Jade shift into a hamster and hide herself in the pet shop just to bite the finger of the guy who cut her off that one time.”

“Oh my god no she did! I remember that! She came back with a shit-eating grin saying she ‘got the fucker’ and we were all so confused!” Morgana cackled, the three of you reminiscing over the time Jade had returned from shopping only to find out she’d been pretending to be a hamster for the last four hours in the hopes the motherfucker who cut her off on the road would somehow waltz in. How she managed to actually pull it off blew your minds. How she even knew he’d come in at some point that day was even more impressive.

Bubbles of rapturous laughter died away as reality settled in your chest, the silence of the night overtaking you once again. “What happens after this…?” You asked quietly, slightly fearful of ruining the moment. But the two girls by your side just sighed, having clearly been asking themselves the same thing.

“Who knows? We gotta get them back first.” Morgo replied with equal quiet, the looming mission now growing ever-present. “But Erin, for the love of all that is both holy and unholy, will you please tell Atlas you love him? Don’t know about the others, but I’m getting real sick of the constant glances of longing between the two of you. Makes a girl lonely, ya know?” She emphasised her point by shoving you in her direction, in turn sending you colliding with the green-haired girl by your side. She shoved you back into the redhead, and you had to tighten your arms around theirs to get them to stop. You weren’t a damn weapon!

Well, not in this context anyway.

“Yeah yeah, alright. Probably would be a good time anyway, with heightened emotions and all that. But we do realise they're not just gonna waltz out of there with us, right? Kreva’s probably done to us what he did to Jade and just forced them all to forget about us.” Erin spoke your fears into reality. It had been on your mind, the idea that Rowan wouldn’t even know who you were when you saw him again, but that was a bridge you were going to have to cross when you got to it.

“Then we’ll just do what they did last time. Bamf them the fuck out of there with Kurt.” Morgana explained plainly as if it were the easiest solution in the world. When, in reality, it would only most likely work for Atlas. Joes could also teleport and Rowan could disintegrate into the light the same way you could through the dark. Naji would hopefully be too caught up with Jean to notice he’d been snatched away, but that plan was still apparently a raging debate.

“Can Kurt do that? I mean, he could only do it a few times before all hell broke loose before,” Erin raised, her fingers fiddling the hem of her oversized hoodie, and you shrugged in response. Honestly, you didn’t know what was going to happen, though you knew one thing was certain, and that was getting Rowan back.

We’ll stay in touch, right? After all of this? Like, we’re not just gonna go our separate ways and never speak again. Like, we’ll still talk to each other…? Right?” You could hear the broken uncertainty in Morgana’s voice, another unanswered question. You wanted to. Fuck did you want to. These people were your family. You didn’t want them to leave just yet.

“Yeah… yeah. Course we will. Right, Erin?” You prompted her awkward silence.

“Erin?” Morgana leaned to look across you straight into the girl’s avoiding gaze.

“I… I don’t know. I’d like to. But it’s just… ya know, we’ve been through so much. We should learn how to exist without each other. How to live our own lives.”

She had a point. Ever since restoring your memories, all you’ve thought about was getting NLMO bacl together. But what if not everyone wanted to be together? What if, like Erin had just said, some of them wanted to grow apart? Start their own journeys that didn’t involve experiments or toruture or co-existing with people who could be taken and fundamentally changed at any minute.

“I get that…” You offered quietly, earning yourself a look of indignation from Morgana and a look of gratitude from Erin. “Myself excluded, it’s hard to imagine any of the others lead extremely fulfilling lives in the seven years after the facility was destroyed. Maybe Erin has a point…” you paused, turning to Morgana’s thoughtfully hurt face. “Maybe it is the time for us to find our own ways. Obviously, that doesn’t mean we won’t be in touch with each other.”

“Exactly!” Erin encouraged with a broad smile, nodding emphatically as Morgana’s expression lightened slightly.

“I guess so. I just… I don’t really know who I am outside of Nimlo. I’m sorta–”

“On the outside?”

Kurt’s voice chimed from above you, and the three of you looked up to see him swinging like a large, wingless bat from one of the windows. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt. I could hear you from my room. But I understand, Morgana.” Using his tail, he slowly lowered himself so he could drop to the floor, not wanting to startle the three of you any further by disappearing and reappearing in a cloud of smoke. “I uh– I know what it’s like to be on the outside of things…” He admitted quietly, almost sheepishly, and you cast a glance at Erin, who in turn wiggled her eyebrows at you.

“Yeah? What did you do?” She queried, looking the mutant up and down in a way that was just shy of innocent.

“I stuck around here. Found my purpose. My purpose was with these people. Perhaps you find yours too.” You suppressed your knowing grin, the man’s shy smile making you almost giddy as Morgana pretended to think it over, placing her fingers on her chin theatrically.

“Huh… Thanks for the advice, elf-man. I’ll think about it.” She winked in true Morgana fashion, and you gently tugged on Erin’s arm to leave the two of them out in the starlight, letting them have their moment the same way they let you have yours with Logan.

“They’d be cute…” Erin mused, and you snorted a laugh, shrugging off Logan’s jacket as the warmth of the mansion made you almost sweat beneath the leather.

“She’ll eat him alive.” You responded flatly, opening the door to the kitchen only for your eyes to land upon three mugs atop the table, the one in the centre you knew all too well, and the aroma of hot chocolate greeting your nose. Marshmallows slowly melted atop the surface, and you let yourself hum a smile as you lifted your mug to read the little, crinkled piece of paper beneath it, a brown circle staining the paper.

‘Cold out there. Warm up before coming to bed. I don’t mean you, Morgana. L. xx’

“I think I’m in love with your boyfriend,” Erin stated with a wry grin, lifting one of the three mugs to her lips and savouring the sweet treat. You sighed wistfully, letting the rich aromas warm you soul with the tenderness of the gesture.

“Yeah. I love him too.”

“Who are we collectively in love with?” Morgana asked, not too far behind the two of you having finished her conversation with Kurt. You didn’t exactly know what the two of them spoke about, but there was an extra kick in her step that hadn’t been present beforehand. You guessed, whatever it was, her life had some kind of direction now.

“Logan.” You and Erin replied in unison, and Morgana nodded in exaggerated understanding, her eyes too falling on the sweet treat with an even sweeter meaning.

“Was this him?”

“Yep.” You answered proudly, leaning against the counter, both hands cupped around the heat of the mug.

“Oh girl you got it good. Do you know how good you got it? Cuz you got. It. Good.” Morgana hummed into her drink, and you really didn’t know how she managed to guzzle down half of the mug’s contents considering it was still scalding hot. But the way she sighed in satisfaction had you chortling. “Why can I have a smoking hot boyfriend who makes hot chocolate for me?”

“Because yours is busy pining from the room upstairs,” Erin commented over the steam of her drink, and you clamped your lips tightly shut, eyes widening as you knew Morgana definitely would have heard her.

“Aaaaand that’s my cue. Have a good night you two. Please try not to kill each other, it’s so tricky to get bloodstains out of this flooring.” You grinned, opening up one of the top cupboards and stealing a packet of smoked mixed nuts before you left, still clutching your hot drink in both hands. There was no way Logan would already be asleep by the time you joined him in bed, and you also knew there was no way he would say no to having a little pre-bed snack. Usually, that meant he’d lie between your thighs for hours, but you didn’t think you had the energy to let him have his way with you tonight. The mixed nuts were more of a distraction tactic than anything else.

“Night girlie!”

“Sleep well, and please don’t be too loud if you have sex!” Morgana called after you and you sniggered under your breath. No promises, Morgana. You were making no promises.

Maybe you were the kind of person to bite at your cuticles and pull at the skin of your lips. You never thought you were, but more recently you’d found yourself with loose skin clutched between your teeth that you’d torn from your body. The air in the Blackbird was thick with anticipation, with silence accompanying the low hum of the jet engines and the constant roaring of blue flame. With Morgana and Kurt opposite you, Logan and Erin on either side of you, and Ororo, Scott, Jean and Kitty each taking up one of the seats, you’d all assembled that morning to finalise the plan of attack. It had taken Scott another few days after that argument to finally come around and agree to the idea of Jean occupying Naji whilst the rest of you set to work evacuating, and whilst he still wasn’t keen on the idea, Charles had managed to placate him with the reassurance that he would be right there with her from Cerebro. Nobody was going to be left on their own during this. You all knew you had somewhat of a battle coming up, and none of you were about to leave someone behind.

It wasn’t in the nature of the team.

Your leg bounced slightly, every situation playing out in your head, what you were about to be faced with turning in your mind like a carousel of anxiety. Rowan. Rowan. What state would he be in when you saw him again? It had only been two weeks, but in all honesty, it had felt like months since you’d escaped again. It was highly likely all memories of you would have been replaced, but that didn’t mean you were ready to see the look of unfamiliarity on his face. Was this how Logan felt? The time he came for you? Or did he not have any ideas?

You glanced to where he’d settled his hand atop yours. You found it endearing, how he disguised his own comfort as providing comfort for you. You knew he didn’t like flying. He’d told you as such months ago. It freaked him out, being thousands of feet in the air with nothing but physics and steel standing in the way of plummeting to death. Well, some of you would die. If you landed in the middle of a field during the day, you’d be screwed for sure.

Twisting your wrist, you intertwined your hands, slotting your fingers between his knuckles and squeezing gently. He raised a brow, turning from where he was looking out beyond the cockpit to where you were focused on tracing the patterns of the steel on the floor. A thumb brushed gently across the back of your hand.

“Y’okay?” He murmured, and you took a deep breath, quickly debating between being truthful and everyone on the ship knowing how little confidence you had in this plan, and lying to him, which you really fucking hated doing. You knew he hated it too, but you didn’t know if you could face the uncertain looks that were bound to find their way to you if you were honest.

“Fine…” but you let him see right through to your soul, your eyes crystal clear as you showed him just how not fine you really were. You were terrified. Of seeing Kreva again, of seeing Rowan again, of something going wrong. And there were so many things that could go wrong.

He responded by wordlessly pressing a kiss to your temple, the scruff of his beard lightly scratching the side of your face as you leaned into him, his hand leaving yours to wrap around your shoulders, resting his chin atop your head. You sighed into him, closing your eyes to bask in his scent. In his touch. This was home, for you. Wherever he was, that was home. Logan was your home.

You hoped he knew that.

“Landing in five. Everyone ready?” Scott called from the pilot’s seat, flicking various switches above his head as you heard the clunk of the landing gear beneath your feet, the world around you fogging up as you dipped below the cloud cover, Scott engaging the cloaking device the moment you all saw the twilight ground beneath. Your heart leapt into your throat as you peeked around Kitty’s seat, the telltale lights of the ‘environmental research lab’ illuminating acres of land in the darkness. From the outside, it really did look innocent. Somewhere that was focused on saving the world through renewable energy. But you knew what lurked below. You’d hidden the skeletons in the closet for Kreva too many times to count.

A bubble of rage curled in your gut. You’d thought long and hard about what you wanted to say to the man who’d orchestrated so much agony in your life. There was nothing you could do about his great grandfather, the fucking genius behind the whole idea, but you sure as hell could make his grandson wish he was never fucking born.

In fact, you intended to.

Erin secured the various pockets on her cargo pants, each labelled with a different symbol for different plants. Morgana skillfully flicked about the butterfly knife in her hands, before slotting it back into the guard at her left wrist. It was the perfect position for a quick slice to her palm.

You guessed everyone was ready, from the grim looks they gave each other. You suppose you were too. Or at least,a s ready as you could be before facing the horrors of your past once again, hopefully for the last time. With a nod to both Erin and Morgana, the three of you stood, taking a collective deep breath.

“We got this,” Morgana said with more confidence than you felt, but you nodded along anyway. If you didn’t truly feel it, you supposed you’d just have to gaslight yourself into feeling it. This was the first stage of the plan. Draw them out. Since Erin had said Kreva apparently needed all of you to convince the government his experiments have yielded helpful results, you knew he wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to get the three of you back in one fell swoop whilst assuming he has the upper hand. That was when Jean, who would remain on the ship, would take hold of Naji, and Kurt would start the evacuation. Scott, Ororo and Logan were mainly backups to keep the guards from interfering. But it was too simple, which was why your mind was working overtime to try and plan for every eventuality.

Honestly, if he knew, Scott would be so proud of you.

“‘Course we do. Easy stuff in comparison to what we’re used to. This is nothing.” Erin grinned, and you honestly couldn’t believe she was so relaxed, considering how close she was to getting Atlas back. You would have thought she would have been a little more anxious, but you were glad to see she was holding herself up pretty damn well.

“Hey,” Logan uttered your name, inhaling a long breath as you turned back to him. This was the part he was least looking forward to, not that he was particularly looking forward to any of this. But simply having to watch you walk into danger, willingly, he knew it was going to tear him apart when it was first agreed upon, and now the moment was here, it was a shock he was able to keep himself together. “If anythin’… goes wrong, call f’me, ‘kay?” he braced both his hands on either side of your neck, his thumbs positioned beneath your jaw as if you would even try to look away from him. “I’ll hear ya. No matter where you are. I’ll always hear ya.”

Your arms snaked around his neck, fingers winding into the soft locks at the back of his head. “I will. I promise.” You vowed, gasping sharply as he fixed his lips to yours in a kiss you wished could last a lifetime. His mouth moulded passionately against yours in long, languid movements, as if he had all the time in the world. Your heart cracked slightly, refusing to entertain the possibility that, if something goes wrong, this could be the last time you hold him. But you quickly shoved all and any thought like that to the back of your mind. You wouldn’t let that happen, and you sure as shit knew Logan wouldn’t let that happen.

You parted breathlessly, whispering his name against his lips, you lashes fluttering open to find him already looking down at you, eyes brimming with shattering adoration. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

Logan shook his head, resting his brow against yours. “Don’t need to. Said you’re mine for as long as I’ll have ya.”

“Til one of us keels over.” You recalled, a small smile pulling at your lips. “We’ve got time.”

“I know.” He breathed, though he was still reluctant to let go of you. He knew he had to, for the sake of this one last mission, but he found himself hesitating.

“I love you.” You whispered against his lips, and he hated how it sounded like a goodbye. It wasn’t, of course. He’d go through hell and back to make sure it wasn’t, but it still tugged at his heart.

“I love you too.” He responded with another press of his lips against yours. The ship shook slightly as the gear touched the ground, and Logan finally released you from his embrace, stepping back as if he had to physically keep himself from bolting after you the moment you left the hold. You knew how he felt. It was taking all of your concentration to walk away from him, every step feeling as if cement had filled your legs, heavy boots thumping against the ramp as you, Erin and Morgana stepped out into the cool night breeze, the whispering of trees left you feeling slightly unnerved, as if nature itself was alerting Kreva of your presence.

Taking the lead, with two members of your old family flanking both sides, you steeled your nerves, flicking your wrist to summon three figures of shadow to tail further behind. They were a signal for the others. If one disappears, things have gone to plan. Two meant standby. And if all three disappeared…

It meant things had gone terribly, horrendously wrong.

You broke through the lining of trees, the glass double doors looming above you as your boots cracked and crunched against the gravel car park for guards disguised as employees. It was no wonder nobody did much research into this place when on the outside it looked so inconspicuous. There was a slight whirr of movement atop the left-hand side of the door, a white security camera twisting and zooming in on your location. You knew exactly who was watching you, and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t make your skin crawl.

“KREVA!” You shouted, your voice echoing through the trees, several crows flying out from the canopy behind you. Shadows whipped and writhed around your feet as you stood just outside the cone of light from the interior, Morgana’s blood floating above her hand where she’d nicked it with her knife, Erin’s hand buried deep within her pocket, her fingers no doubt tightly wrapped around a cluster of seeds.

A crackle of static slashed through the resulting silence of your own shout, and you looked to the other side of the door where two orange lights fluttered beneath two small speakers.

“Well well well, I’d love to say what a surprise, but that would be a lie.” Kreva’s smug voice resonated through the car park and you bristled instantly, your lips pulling back into a snarl. “I’ve been waiting for you, Eight. Quite patiently, might I add? I could have just come and raided that quaint little school again, but where would be the fun in that? It’s much more fun to watch you deal with the betrayal when you realise what’s really been going on.”

You had to remind yourself not to ask questions. You couldn’t appear clueless, that way he would know for sure he had the upper hand. The thought of being behind on intel scared the shit out of you. How could he possibly be ahead of you? You’d been gathering information for two weeks, and you knew Kurt was extremely careful. So how the fuck could he possibly–

Your blood froze as you felt the slightest brush of something against your boot, and looking down you could feel your face drain as tiny, scattered seeds littered about your feet. Before you had a chance to whip back, a shoulder collided with the centre of your back, sending you sprawling into the light, several heads of giant Venus Fly Traps surged towards you. With a desperate flick of your wrist, you released the hold you had on the three figures back at the ship, and you knew Logan would notice immediately before a sharp pressure across your chest squeezed the air from your lungs. Morgana’s screech of fury was cut dangerously short, and you refused to let the fear of her death consume you, your hands bound by your sides by the furious clamping of teeth.

Erin stepped passed the two of you and watched Kreva appear from within the facility, the doors of a lift opening from inside the lobby, the gangly motherfucker almost waltzing as he approached the double doors. Craning your neck, your eyes met Erin’s, and you could see her internal battle between explaining herself and staying silent.

“I didn’t have a choice…” she said after a while, tears lining her eyes. “He only needs you and Rowan. That’s what he said. He didn’t need us. And if I handed you over… he’d set the rest of us free.” She finally explained, and your throat tore with a scream of rage. How fucking stupid could she be? Did she really not know, after all this time, Kreva was fucking lying?

“And Morgana?” you strained, watching grief pass across Erin’s features, her eyes flickering with sorrow.

“She wouldn’t have understood. But you always wanted to protect us, right? And this way, you can protect us and set us free at the same time. I… I’m sorry, about Morgana. But this was the only way.”

“I should have– fucking killed you!” You hissed, writhing within the jaws of the Fly Trap, crying out as one of the teeth flicked back and pierced your arm, heated blood flowing down your elbow.

“Now now, Eight. That’s no way to talk to your family now is it?” Kreva held out his arms as if he expected Erin to run and embrace him. But at least she had the good sense to hold back, eyeing the man suspiciously. “I know what you’re thinking. How could Six have possibly told me what was going on?” He jeered, spinning where he stood as a familiar roar echoed in the distance. Your breath petrified in your chest

“Logan…” you rasped, desperation clawing at your limbs as you fought to tear your arm from the Trap’s teeth, uncaring whether the plant tore through flesh and muscle. You’d endured worse.

“You know what’s just so darn wonderful about the age of technology? It’s that nobody really notices how much or how little time someone spends on their phone! And when we received that first call from Six, oh you can just imagine how excited I was!” Your eyes flew wide as you remembered. It wasn’t something you had particularly took note of, and it wasn’t like Erin had been glued to her phone, but there had been a few instances you thought she was on it at inappropriate times.

Like in planning meetings, for example.

“We had a deal, Kreva. Eight for Atlas. I don’t care about the others, just give me Atlas and I’ll turn her over.” Erin clenched her fist and you grit your teeth against the mouth of the Fly Trap tightening around you, spots swimming in your vision.

“Yes yes, alright. Five!” Your head spun as you watched your brother materialise from the light, Atlas’ elbow held tightly in his grip as he brought him through too. You watched his golden eyes fall on you, recognition flaring in his irises and you thought for one small moment Kreva hadn’t messed with his memory.

That was before his expression darkened with fury and he extended his hand, a blade of glowing light forming around his arm, the same way you could create one with shadow.

“Take a breath, Five. I know. But revenge is a dish best served cold, especially against one’s own family. I remember the day she abandoned you without so much as a glance back. Do you?”

So that’s what Kreva had replaced you with. Memories of abandonment. You opened your mouth to scream again, only for Kreva to place a finger to your lips, Erin’s hand squeezing even tighter. “Shh, shush now. I haven’t even got to the best part yet. You see, I know of the little backup squad you have in the clearing over there. I didn’t just want Six’s betrayal to tear you apart, Subject Eight. I wanted to break you down, for everything you’ve done to me.” Quivering rage seeped into his voice before he took a breath, that same condescending smile pulling at his lips the moment after he composed himself. “So I sent Naji after your boyfriend. I’d be powerful with both you and Five on my side, but with The Wolverine as well? I’d be nigh on unstoppable.” He whispered, and terror replaced every furious fibre of your being. You hadn’t heard anything from the rest of the team since Logan’s roar. That was until heavy boots crunched through the undergrowth accompanied by the sound of something weighty being dragged along.

“Who needs an army when you have The Wolverine?!” Kreva called out to an invisible audience as Logan lumbered through the tree line, a body slung across his shoulder and another two dragged behind in each hand. A sob wracked from your chest as you noticed his dark eyes, no trace of the fond warmth you’d come to find in those hazel irises. Covered in blood, Logan threw the two bodies at his feet, before carefully lowering the third from his shoulder. Naji, with a singed hole punctured through the centre of his chest, lay still on the gravel.

“Shot him ‘fore I could do anythin’. Rest’re dead.” He growled and grief shattered your fragile heart. In one fell swoop, everything you loved had been ripped from beneath your feet and you felt yourself plummet, falling completely limp in the jaws of the Venus Fly Trap as the cold realisation settled in your gut.

You’d lost. You’d lost everything.

Kreva sighed dramatically, kicking his heels against the ground as he crossed to nudge Naji with his foot. “Shame. Would have been useful to readjust her memories. Not to worry though, we’ll figure something out. Who’re these lovely specimens?” He asked, crouching low next to a blood-soaked Ororo and an unconscious Scott.

“That’s the shit-stick who shot One. That’s the bitch who fried Three.” Logan responded the complete lack of emotion in his voice dragging you deeper into disparity. Joes was dead too, it seemed. What had happened to Jean? To Kitty? You didn’t want to think about it. You already knew the answer. The crimson dripping from Logan’s knuckles told you all you needed to know.

“You see, Eight? Things could have been so much smoother. Nobody had to die but now look. Everyone you’ve ever loved is either dead or against you. And I can’t force you to forget about it because One is dead too. We’re now the same, you and I. We both have to live with the consequences of our actions.” He spoke in mock mourning, and your eyes slid from Kreva to Logan as he was escorted to your side.

“Please…” You whispered thickly, whether you were begging him to remember or begging him to kill you, you honestly didn’t know. But a hollow void opened in your chest when you couldn’t see any trace of recognition in his eyes. He didn’t know who you were.

Now you knew what it felt like.

“Kreva.” Erin prompted with steel lacing her tone. “Our deal.”

“Right, right, yeah. Uhm, actually, no.” Before she could react, Rowan took a swift step forward and with a swipe of his blade, cut a clean slice through her throat. Erin gurgled a gasp, her hands slowly reaching for the fresh wound, thick rivers of blood staining her pale skin, leaking down her neck, soaking her shirt. She fell to her knees, eyes wide with shock, the Fly Trap loosening its grip around your body as it died alongside her, shrivelling and sinking into nothing.

You hit the ground with a soft thud, rolling slightly before bracing your body up on your elbows. You couldn’t turn around. Couldn’t turn and face everything you’d lost. Morgana was dead. Erin was dead. Kitty was dead. Scott, Ororo, Jean, Joes, Naji…

And the Logan you knew, the Logan you loved, he was gone too. The sharp tip of a blinding blade sliced a thin line beneath your chin, tilting your head up to look into the eyes of your brother, eyes burning with loathing and betrayal. How ironic it seemed.

You could let him do it. Lean forward and let the blade pierce your throat, die gurgling as Erin had if your body didn’t dissolve first. But you knew you couldn’t. Your subconscious strength to survive against all odds wouldn’t let you.

With the slight crunch of gravel, Kreva crouched down before you, tucking a grimy lock of hair back from your face with disgusting care. “I’ve spent too long orchestrating this to let anything happen to you. Now, I know it will be harder without Naji to adjust that irritating little memory of yours, but you need to come back to us, Eight. We need you. Your brother needs you,” he murmured with the viper venom of an unfaithful lover. You didn’t fight it. You couldn’t. You let the yearning to be needed, the yearning to save consume you, and despite all the pain, all the agony Kreva had caused, you nodded slightly. “You were always my favourite subject, Eight,” he whispered, before turning back to Atlas and Rowan, the former’s eyes still trained on Erin’s lifeless body. “Deal with the bodies in the clearing. Wolverine, if you would be so kind.” He gestured back to where you hadn’t moved from the floor, and Logan stepped over you, roughly hooking his hands beneath your arms to tug you to your feet. An hour ago, you would have melted into his body, found comfort in those very same arms.

Now all you felt was fear. Icy terror trickled down your spine where once you’d felt warmth. And whether it was because you still hadn’t processed everything you’d just lost in a heartbeat, you couldn’t discern, but your shattered heart felt the slightest phantom caress of his thumb against your bicep, the ghost of a reassuring squeeze.

The same gesture of comfort he’d give you if you were anxious in a meeting, or stressed before a class.

Kreva glanced from where he was watching Atlas and Rowan stalk into the trees back to you, his brows raising as his eyes settled at the hollow of your throat, the golden locket glinting in the low light. With a tilt of his head, he took a step toward you, reaching out to where it rested against your neck.

“Firefly.”

Your spine straightened, breath caught in your throat as you realised. You hadn’t imagined the touch. It wasn’t some fucked up production of your overwhelming grief. With a swift slash of steel and a thick, wet crunch of splitting bone, there was a beat before you registered what had happened.

Kreva’s outstretched hand twitched on the gravel, blood staining the stone, no longer connected to his arm. There was a deafening scream of agony from the man before all hell broke loose. Shock had locked your limbs as you were shoved back, the crackle of lightning and resonating boom of thunder split the sky overhead, blasts of red energy igniting the treeline as a pitched ringing pierced your eardrums repeatedly.

“Morgana…” You whispered, finally coming back to your senses and almost falling over yourself to get to the red-head lying limp on the floor. Sharp stones and pebbles bit into your knees as you skidded to her side, desperately rolling her onto her back to assess the damage. Her neck was swollen badly, bruises blooming around her throat. With two shaky fingers, you held them against her wrist, praying you’d feel something, anything that might even resemble a pulse.

You waited, whilst various screams and roars echoed around you, you waited with bated breath, trying to concentrate on just feeling for her, your own panic rising the longer it took.

“C’mon Morgo… c’mon!” You breathed frantically, pressing harder into her wrist as if you could pull a pulse from her arteries yourself. You tried to take a deep, calming breath, your own racing pulse getting in the way of feeling one for her. Quietening your mind, if only for a moment, you focussed, heart, leaping the moment you felt the slightest push from her wrist. Faint, slow, but there.

A cry of relief tore from your throat as you gathered her in your arms, pressing your brow against hers. The rapid crunch of feet against gravel caused you to snap your head up, arms tightening around her body protectively, baring your teeth as Atlas raced towards you, his brows pinched.

“It’s me, it’s me!” He held his hands up in surrender, and you blinked at him, confusion clouding your mind.

“Wh–– How? I don’t–”

“I don’t remember everything. Not like you do. But after you escaped, Kreva was so focused on Rowan that he almost forgot I was here. By the time he remembered, I let him think Naji had already worked on me. He showed me what I needed to know, that this was all a fucking lie.” His hands started to glow that healing blue, glowing particles flowing from his palms to wrap around Morgana’s neck, entering through the layers of her skin and repairing whatever it was Erin had broken.

Erin…

Oh fuck.

“Altas, I–”

“I’ll get to her in a second. Just… just give me a moment.” He hissed, the bruises around Morgana’s neck fading quickly as if they were never there. You still didn’t understand. Less than a minute ago, you were drowning in helplessness, forcing yourself to accept that you’d lost. Kreva had won. And now, as you finally raised your head to the chaos around you, you watched as he retreated into the facility, alarms blaring, crimson lights flaring.

And Logan, bloodstained and heaving, looking back to meet your eye. With one last glance to Atlas and a quickly healing Morgana, you struggled to your feet, taking a shaky step toward him. Then another. And another.

Logan hesitated as he saw the trepidation on your face, his claws sinking back between his knuckles when you paused before him. He knew what you were searching for, your exhausted gaze flickering across his features and he let you see. Let you see that none of it had been real. Jean was alive and working on an unconscious Joes. Scott and Ororo were okay, Kitty by their side after securing the car park, all and any guards now buried beneath the ground suffocating. Kurt was alright, currently by Morgana’s side after bamfing onto the scene, his concern etched into his pinched eyebrows.

“It was the only way we could get to you…” he explained softly, his voice bringing you back from the depths of suspicion, your features falling slack as you surged forward into his arms, and he wasted no time in wrapping you up, securing you against his chest.

“I thought I lost you,” You whispered raggedly against his neck, allowing the paralysing fear to leech from your heart. “I thought Naji–”

“He tried,” Logan interrupted tenderly, his fingers winding through the back of your hair. “But Scott got to him first. I’m sorry, Firefly. I’m so sorry. Joes is okay, Jean’s working on him now, but there wasn’t anything we could do for Naji…” He explained quietly, and you nodded a little numbly. In the face of losing everything, you guessed this was the best outcome you could have hoped for.

“Where’s Rowan?” You asked, leaning into Logan’s touch as he cradled the side of your face, pulling you from the crook of his neck to look into your eyes.

“Still with Kreva. Bastard disappeared the moment Storm lit the place up. I think he’s lookin’ to burn everythin’ to the ground…”

Your breath hitched, remembering that this was Kreva’s backup plan. If he couldn’t get you back, he’d destroy everything and leave no evidence. Only the words of those who’d survive.

If anyone would survive.

“I have to stop him. Rowan will destroy himself.” You explained, panic solidifying into determination as several muffled shouts echoed through the car park, torchlights waving erratically in the darkness and body upon armoured body flooded the entrance to the facility, three rows of masked guards pointed guns towards you and Logan. A low snarl left his lips, and he subtly moved you behind him, removing his hands from your body before his claws split through his skin.

A delicate hand on your shoulder made your head turn, Kitty’s steely smile telling you all you needed to know. She could get you there. Phase through bullets and bodies and get you to Rowan. To where you needed to be.

“Phasers forever, right?” She grinned, and you felt your own mouth split into a smile. Ororo flanked her left side, Scott sliding to a stop by Logan’s right. You knew this was it. This was the make or break. Either you succeeded here or you failed but no matter what, everything ended tonight. Right here. Where it all began.

“Hey… freakshow!” You whipped to look behind you at the croaky, strained voice of Morgana, looking a little worse for wear but nonetheless on her feet. You sobbed a laugh of disbelief. “Give him hell for me, yeah? Fucker gets what’s comin’ to him.”

You grit your teeth, sending her a solid affirming nod, before turning back to the ranks in front of you. The back of Logan’s hand grazed your fingers, and it warmed your heart when you realised, even when faced with countless adversaries, he was still mindful not to hurt you with his claws. You brushed your thumb over his raised knuckles, bending your knees in preparation for the sprint of a lifetime, adrenaline coursing through your veins.

“Let’s fucking go.” You hissed, taking the first step forward.

And that was all that was needed for gunfire to reign supreme, bullets passing through your body thanks to Kitty’s touch on your shoulder, racing harmlessly through the prattle of shrapnel, Storm’s lightening striking the earth in front of you, Logan’s roar of pure, unfiltered rage fueling your every step. A burst of blinding hot energy exploded the front of the facility, rubble and brick crashing down in front of the door just as you stepped through the threshold, the immediate cacophony of battle muffling the moment you emerged on the other side.

Pulling out of Kitty’s grip, you raced back to the ruined doorway, desperately pulling away rocks and wood. You needed to see him. You needed to make sure he was okay before you followed Rowan and Kreva. A loud thump rattled the remaining broken glass and you jumped back, watching as blood pooled on the floor, seeping through the remains of the porch.

“We gotta go. They’ll be fine, okay? But they won’t be if you can’t stop Rowan.” Kitty urged, her hand returning to your shoulder to placate your panic. You knew she was right. You knew she was, and you knew you had to let it go. You trusted him. Of course you did. You trusted he would be okay. You’d seen him heal multiple times from so much worse than this. He’ll be okay.

He’ll be okay.

With a deep breath, you nodded, and she pulled your shoulder slightly in the direction of the elevator. It was surreal to think that, all this time, whilst you were screaming and suffering, this was above you. It looked no different to any other kind of research facility. Banners with cartoon images of trees hung from the ceiling, the words ‘Renewable Energy!’ plastered on every available surface. If you had the time, you would have looked around a bit to see just how the Kreva’s had managed to cover their tracks so damn well. But urgency pumped through your blood as you reached the elevator doors, almost punching the button through the damn wall.

But there was no response. No telltale ding. No little light. The power had been completely shut off.

“Fuck’s sake!” You cursed, your eyes frantically searching for a shadow to slip into. But it was difficult to see with the crimson lighting constantly revolving in circles. This already wasn’t exactly going to plan, and with more voices dancing along from various forking hallways, you knew you were running out of time.

“Okay, I got a plan,” Kitty stated confidently, crouching low to the seam of the doors and sticking her hand through the solid surface. “So, predictably, the elevator isn’t up here. But, I’m thinking that it’s gonna be real dark in the shaft, right?” She explained and you caught on quickly. “So I get us in there and you get us to the bottom without breaking either of our legs. Sound good?”

“Works for me.” You shrugged, sending one last look to the raging battle beyond the rubble. But when Kitty didn’t move, you looked back at her, raising a brow of confusion. “What?”

“Nothing… just wasn’t expecting you to agree, that’s all. Was kinda waiting for you to tell me you’ll figure it out yourself so yeah, a bit shocked…”

“Now is not the time.” You huffed, grabbing her wrist to place her hand back on your shoulder. “We’ll talk about my teamwork character arc later, ‘kay?” Kitty smiled wickedly, sticking half her body through the doors.

“I’ll hold you to that.”

One moment you were in the lobby, the next you were falling through the elevator shaft. She was right above one thing. It was almost pitch black inside. Taking advantage of the low lighting, you gripped her tightly, releasing the threads on your body and pulling her into the shadows with you. The wind in your ears died instantly, and the feeling of gravity pulling you to your death ceased. You were nothing. You weighed nothing. You were a concept. Consciousness. A sense. You flowed like water and flew like time.

And it took less than a second to drag yourself and Kitty down to the ceiling of the elevator below you, reassembling your molecules and knotting the threads of Kitty back together for her. She took a deep breath, her voice echoing up the shaft as she shook herself out.

“God it always feels so weird! Does it feel weird when I phase you like that?” She asked, wiggling her fingers in front of her face to make sure they were all still there. You shook your head with a small chuckle, cracking your neck to the side.

“Not really. Sure, it’s kinda weird to have shit pass straight through me, but not in this kinda way, I guess.” You shrugged, letting her gather herself back up before phasing the both of you through the ceiling of the elevator and through the closed doors.

Now this was the facility you remembered. The images struck you like a ton of bricks. Clinical white hallways, bleached ceilings and walls, blinding lights on every damn surface. The stench of chemical cleaner and stale blood sent your empty stomach roiling and you had to fight the urge to dry retch. You knew where he’d be. At least, you could hazard a guess. There was always a room reserved for you and Rowan. It was your special little chamber where Kreva liked to run his experiments. A wall splitting the two of you, one drowned in shadow, the other illuminated with light.

Steeling your nerves, you let your feet walk you down the world’s worst memory lane. For a place that had been destroyed seven years ago, they’d rebuilt it as if nothing had ever happened. Each corner was exactly the same. Each observation room was perfectly curated to mirror what it had been like before everything went to shit. It was all hauntingly familiar.

“You okay…?” Kitty asked slowly, her eyes flickering across each laboratory you walked passed, and you didn’t have the heart to tell her you knew exactly what each and every room was for. You knew exactly what instruments lay where and what they did. You didn’t need her to know any of that. It wasn’t her burden to bear.

“Yeah… ‘m okay. S’wierd being back here, but I’m okay.” You responded truthfully, surprising yourself with how well you were taking it. It didn’t matter that every damn second you had to remind yourself you weren’t trapped here, and you were free and had been free of Kreva for the last two weeks, and the last seven years before that. You were okay. You would be okay. This was where everything ended. After this, you could do whatever the hell you wanted.

With Logan by your side.

You rounded the corner and stopped as you came face to face with your past. Two doors stood opposite you. One for Five, and the other for Eight. For you. Kitty hung back as you squared your shoulders, taking the next few steps and using every ounce of faux confidence you could muster as you entered the code into the keypad, the one you’d seen Kreva or TS8 do so many damn times. With a hiss of machinery, the door slid open, and once again you had to remind yourself you were okay. He didn’t have you. You were free of him.

The same table taunted you from the centre of the room. Worn leather straps lying limp on each four corners. You remembered every little detail of the steel. Every faded mark on the floor. You’d counted every little hole in the paneled ceiling and traced the round light above you as you waited for whatever experiment Kreva was about to run to start. What you never realised until now, however, was the one-way mirror across the far side of the room. You always assumed it was so you could watch whatever they were doing to you, simply yet another form of torture. But it only now occurred to you this was where the Kreva’s would watch from. This was where they would note down everything they discovered.

That was where he was now. You could almost fucking smell him.

With a flick of your wrist, eight figures rose from the shadows in the room, each of them awaiting your command, twitching with apprehension. You didn’t need to say anything. You never did with them. Wordlessly, they each stood facing the mirror, arms raised, shadows writhing about their hands until they solidified into spiked maces.

As one, eight shadows of your past shattered the glass effortlessly, shards of reflection scattering about their feet, revealing the observation room behind, the stench of fresh blood permeating the lab.

Dissolving into the shadows, you reappeared beyond the window, finding a sick sense of satisfaction as you watched Kreva desperately clamber behind a console, papers and electronics clattering to the floor. You said nothing, those eight figures coming to stand patiently behind you, heads glitching and shifting.

“I made you what you are.” He spat, blood dribbling from his mouth, his glasses shattered and sitting askew atop his nose, scarlet stump clutched against his chest. “This world would have torn you to pieces. I saved you from that. I harnessed your power. Everything I did was in the name of creating a better world!”

You stalked forward with deadly quiet, letting the shadows overtake you and flank either side of the man whose family name had tortured you for over eighty years. You truly didn’t know what you would say to him if this moment ever came. You hadn’t let yourself think about it because you never thought it would.

But standing here, with all the power in your hands, a stark contrast to the rest of your life, you smiled. Not that warm, comforting smile you reserved only for the people you loved. You smiled like the edge of a knife, slicing through tender meat. You smiled like the adder before striking a rodent. You smiled like the shark after a meal.

“You tortured me,” you began, one of the shadows lunging forward with clinical precision to land a blow through Kreva’s shoulder, relishing in the scream of agonised terror. “You tortured my friends,” another white-hot slice to his other hand, that same sick crunch of splitting bone as his hand flopped onto the floor. “You came for the people I care about,” a void-like hand thrust through his calf, blood and tendons exploding as the figure solidified its limb within his body, pieces of muscle and marrow splattering over the console and wall. “You tried to take the man I love,” you remembered vaguely Jade’s request, and though you didn’t command it, one of the shadows sent its foot straight into his crotch and Kreva doubled over, unable to scream through breathless agony. “And that very power you say you harnessed. That very power you nurtured,” you paused, crouching low and lifting his face akin to the way he’d done earlier at your lowest point. “I’m going to watch as it tears you apart.” You hissed, dropping his head to take a step back as every single on of those figures sank into his body, hiding within the shadows of his absent heart.

“Every part the demon I made you.” He gurgled, choking on his own blood.

“And so much more.” You responded as black tendrils entered his bloodstream, staining his veins, spiderwebbing up the side of his neck, invading his eyes before they rolled into the back of his head. You’d given them free rein to do what they wanted. You would let the shadows of your broken family get their revenge in any way they chose.

Kreva convulsed on the floor, his back bowing as if possessed, limbs twitching and locking, foam gathering at the corners of his mouth as his death was elongated, pain creasing his eyes, mouth agape in a silent scream as your shadows tore apart every fibre of his being,

On a molecular level.

He fell silent for a moment, stilling on the ground, before there was a loud, earsplitting crack, and you barely had time to raise a solid wall of darkness before entrails and tissue painted every surface crimson, white sharks of bone piercing into the walls, embedding into the ceiling.

The wet dripping of pulp falling from the ceiling was the only sound in the following silence, the weight of the moment settling on your shoulders, forcing you to your knees.

He was dead.

Kreva was dead.

The man who’d caused so much pain. So much terror. Who’d forced you to commit the worst acts of humanity, the sole reason for the overwhelming self-hatred…

He was dead.

You felt a sob rise in your throat, and you set it free, your shoulders shaking from the sheer force of your cries. Every moment of torture. Every fibre of agony released in your earthshaking screams, your voice scratching, tearing at your throat. You knew the moment couldn’t last. You knew you still had to find Rowan. But with Kreva dead, your chances of getting him back had just increased tenfold.

Bracing your hands against the cool floor, you let yourself tremble under the weight of freedom, feeling the ghost of shackles around your wrists and ankles fall away, the claws around your neck releasing.

“You killed him…”

You drew in a shaky breath, the familiarity of that voice tugging at the threads of your heart. Struggling to your feet, you turned to face your brother, Rowan standing in the shadows of the room made for you, his eyes wide with an emotion you couldn’t quite read.

“Yeah. It’s over, Rowan. You’re safe now. We’re all safe now. You can come home with me,” you breathed, extending your hand toward him through the shattered mirror. “You don’t have to hurt anymore. I’m here. I’m here…” you reassured, taking a step toward the gap between you with the intention of drawing him into your arms.

“You killed him…” he said again, his expression shifting to something you recognised all too well. “You abandoned me here, to suffer at the hands of these demons, and you killed the only man who showed me any kindness…”

You blinked as the lights on the console flared slightly. “No… that’s what he made you think. That’s what you remember because it was a memory he put there. But it isn’t real. Come with me. I can show you. Please… I can show you everything.” You begged, suffering the slice to your hand as you slid through the shattered glass of the mirror, now standing opposite him, arms open. “It’s okay… you’re safe now. He’s gone. You’re–”

You didn’t have time to finish your sentence before a flare of pure light from the hallways beyond blasted you to the side, your spine cracking against the wall, head splitting with the impact. Your vision blurred slightly, pain exploding in your mind as you struggled to regain your breath. Through the swimming haze, you could see Kitty’s arm on the door through the doorway, the rest of her body lying still on the ground beyond.

“You took everything from me.” Rowan loomed over you, glowing wings of light flaring wide from his shoulder blades. “Now I’m going to take it all back.”

Logan heaved a snarling breath as he retracted his claws from the helmeted head of yet another faceless guard, casting a calculating glance at the bodies littering the ground, some fried, some missing various limbs, but all dead. Soaked in blood, he watched as Scott sent another beam through one of the last men standing, Ororo sending another flying over the treetops with pinpoint accuracy.

The car park fell still as the final assailant was annihilated, falling headless to its knees, body twitching before falling still. It was eerie how silent the night felt after so much bloodshed, but Logan’s thoughts immediately turned back to you. You were down there somewhere, stopping Rowan however you could. Was Kreva still alive? Or had you already dealt with him?

A darker question entered his head, and it drove him to move.

Were you still alive?

“Scott, I need a doorway,” was all he said, pacing over to the crumbled ruins blocking the door. Surprisingly, there was no flood of protests from Cyclops, only a sharp nod of agreement before a beam of white-hot energy sailed through the rubble, melting rocks and burning wood effortlessly. Logan breathed a quick “Thanks,” before breaking into a run, mindful to avoid the liquid fire Scott had created before he was jogging through the lobby, red lights reflecting off every surface. It was the perfect representation of his mind when his ears twitched, catching a distant scream from below.

He breathed your name, panic sending his heart racing as he spared a quick glance to the rest of the team behind him, Ororo immediately picking up on his change of demeanour.

“Go. We’ll clean up the rest here.” She urged as more torches pointed down either side of the hallway into the lobby. How many more of these fuckers were there? But he trusted they could handle it. He had to trust them if he wanted to get to you. With a sharp nod of gratitude, Logan turned back to the elevator, his claws sinking through the surface and cutting out a square large enough to fit through. He couldn’t look back, not as the prattle of gunfire started up again.

With his heart in his throat, Logan plunged into the darkness, slicing his claws through either side of the steel walls to slow his descent, sparks and the pitched squeal of slicing metal accompanied his fall until his feat touched a solid surface. Crouching low, he sliced through the top of the elevator, jumping through the gap before repeating the same thing on the double doors. He remembered the last time he was here, the familiar panic as he searched for you, hoping that you’d be okay, praying that you’d still be alive. He felt that same urgency now as he raced down the hallways, the lights above flaring and dimming erratically.

Rowan.

It had to be.

There couldn’t be any other explanation.

The thought had him moving faster, enhanced hearing picking up every clash of power, every hiss of shadow and burst of light.

Every pained gasp.

You panted heavily, blood leaking from your nose as you once again rose to your feet, shadows swirling around your finger on one hand, your other cloaked in a blade of darkness as you faced your brother.

No, this wasn’t your brother anymore. This was Solaris. This was your equal and your opposite. A similar rivulet of crimson flowed down over his lip, the result of the harsh punch you’d thrown at him before, his nose now sitting at a crooked angle. The wall between your rooms had been obliterated, dust and rubble littering the ground where he’d thrown you through into his assigned lab. Darkness in the light. Light in the darkness. You opposed each other, twin wings flaring threateningly.

You couldn’t talk him out of this. You needed him to back down of his own free will. You couldn’t teleport him out of here like you could the others. But you knew he was too far gone. You knew you couldn’t get him to stop.

But you couldn’t fail here.

A sharp call of your name distracted you for a moment, your black eyes widening as you saw Logan in the doorway, his expression frantic as he looked you over, from the tip of your blade to the claws of your wings.

Solaris looked between you, a roar of betrayed agony tearing from his lips as he lunged forward, his own blade of light swinging in a high arc above his head to split your skull. You met him blow for blow, parry for parry, fighting to ignore Logan’s presence in the door. With a stray gesture, you raised a solid wall of shadow before him, an immovable, impenetrable barrier between him and your brother.

Logan stepped back as a solid wall of darkness rose from the ground, pressing his hand against it to test its durability. What the hell did you think you were doing? Why were you stopping him? He pushed against it, finding finding equal resistance. Pushing again, he was met with his own strength coming back at him. His breath caught in his throat. Through the shifting shadow, he could see your silhouette standing against Solaris, the two of you having separated for a moment before trading blows once again. Logan sent his fist colliding into the wall, feeling the crack of bone before his hand quickly healed and he tried again.

With half your concentration focused on keeping up the barrier protecting the man you loved, you received the point of Solaris’ blade through your abdomen, your gut twisting with pain as you strained a gasp, hearing Logan’s roar of despair fueled rage from behind the now flickering wall. Solaris pulled his blade back, his eyes nothing but pits of blinding light, the opposite of your own.

“You can’t save them. You will burn.” He spat, taking a step back as you fell to a knee, pain consuming your system as you tried in vain to cover the wound with your hand, crimson blood flowing through your fingers like sand.

But he was wrong. He was so wrong. Golden light started to flare from the centre of his chest, erasing every shadow from the room, and bleaching the surfaces of darkness. All shadows bar one.

All shadows but your own.

Charles’ words echoed through your head. ‘She cannot disappear into her own shadow or she will be lost.’ ‘That’s why we called you back. We’ve been lucky so far.’

Closing your eyes, you let a stray tear slip down your cheek, and Logan’s heart stilled in his chest.

“No… No, no NO!” His voice ripped through his throat, claws slashing at the wall of darkness you managed to maintain. “Don’t– Don’t do THIS PLEASE! DON’T… don’t do this.” His words diminished as you turned to look through the barrier, a small smile of acceptance pulling at the corners of your lips, blood staining your teeth.

You could save them. You could save them all.

And all it would cost was your life.

“Til one of us keels over…” you offered him one last promise before you surged forward to where Solaris burned bright, and he barely had time to scream your name as your own shadow flared up around you as you leapt into the blaze, your body disintegrating into shadow.

Logan watched as darkness consumed the glow, a visceral battle between shadow and light, your mutation finally releasing itself around your brother, dragging him into the void with you. The wall fell away, fading back into nothing as he lost you to the very thing you were training against.

A prison of your own making hummed where you’d leapt forward, a sphere of glassy void, both you and your brother locked away safely where he couldn’t hurt anyone…

And he could never see you again.

An ever-changing cell of light and dark.

He lunged forward, vocal cords ripping in his throat as he screamed your name again and again, punching against the surface until his knuckles bled and blood splattered across the floor. Breath singed his lungs as he sobbed. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. This wasn’t supposed to happen. He was going to spend the rest of his life with you. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with you.

So why was the rest of your life taken from you? Why did he have to spend the rest of his life alone? Why was he always fucking alone? He only just got you back.

And you were gone again. This time, for good.

You saved him. You saved him from so many sleepless nights. So many times he’d wake up to find comfort in your slow breathing next to him, placing the side of his head against your chest, feeling your breaths, listening to your heartbeat. You saved him. But the price of doing so was losing you.

Strength left his body as he crumbled to his knees. This had been your choice. You’d sealed yourself away in a cell of flickering light and swirling shadow, imprisoning Solaris along with you for the rest of time. You’d disintegrated into your own silhouette like Charles had constantly warned you against. And you’d done it to save the people that you love.

Logan placed his hand against the buzzing wall of light and dark, pressing his forehead against the incarnation of your mutation, hoping against hope that somehow, somewhere, you were still in there. Your whispered name fell from his lips, tears falling ceaselessly to darken the floor in droplets, his head bowed low. The light from within flared and faded rhythmically, glowing inside the empty black of shadow.

Much like the light of a firefly.

“Please…” he whispered. “I love you. I love you.” His chest was wracked with silent sobs.

“Logan!” Ororo’s voice echoed through the chamber as she slid to a stop in the doorway, a gasp flying from her lips. “What…?” She could barely comprehend what she was seeing. “Where is she?” She asked quietly, her footsteps too loud in the grieving silence of the room. He couldn’t find his voice through the choking heartbreak in his throat.

“Logan…?” Morgana stepped carefully through the doorway, a badly injured Kitty supported by her shoulder, blood leaking from a wound on her head. The redhead fell silent as she realised what had happened. “She did it…” she whispered, melancholy lacing her tone. “She did it.”

A new wave of grief suffocated his chest as her words struck his heart. You had. You’d done it. But in doing so, you’d sacrificed everything.

“No…” Kitty whimpered, struggling to free herself from Morgana’s hold to get to you. “That’s not her… it’s not her!” She cried, staggering forward only to fall to the ground a few steps later, a yelp of grief-stricken pain piercing the air. Logan looked back numbly, his eyes meeting hers as she looked at him pleadingly. “Tell me… tell me it’s not her…” she begged, her voice thick with emotion. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t tell her it wasn’t you. And the longer his silence lingered, the more hope drained from her eyes and she sobbed into her arm.

It was all he could do to go to her and drag her into his arms, listening to his own heartbreak shatter in every single one of her cries. He screwed his eyes shut, letting her shudder in his arms.

“I’m sorry…” he whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

He knew there was nothing he could have done. You’d sealed him out for a reason. You’d shut him away because you knew this was what you’d have to do. And you knew he would have stopped you. He would let the world burn for you, but you wouldn’t allow it. Because living with himself after would have been impossible.

You saved him from that. You’d saved him from himself.

“She's gone…?” Scott asked softly, joining the grieving group and reading the room. Morgana nodded in confirmation, and his jaw tightened. It was then Logan knew this wasn’t what he wanted. He spoke the truth when he’d said all those months ago he didn’t want you gone. He didn’t want you neutralised.

“She saved our lives…” Ororo offered quietly, as if fearful her voice would break if she spoke any louder. Logan turned back to the sphere of shadow and the light pulsing within.

You’d saved so many people in your life. A sharp contrast to how many you’d hurt. But he knew you’d be happy with this. You were okay with this. Your last act was one of saving, not hurting. So he would live for you. He would live in a way you’d be proud of. Placing his hand back against the surface of your mutation, he let the promise seep through his palms as if somehow you could hear his intentions.

“See you soon, Firefly.”

#wolverine x reader #logan x reader #logan howlett x reader #james logan howlett #logan howlett #logan x reader smut #logan smut #x men logan #logan howlett smut #the wolverine x reader #the wolverine #wolverine smut #x men wolverine #wolverine x you #logan howlett fanfiction

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deus-ex-mona · 6 days ago

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winter 2k24, huh~~~~~~ _(:3 」∠)_

#aaaaaa it’s coming out just a few days before the major compilation album huh……#amz.jp preorders have already started huh… man.#im gonna wait till the inevitable ani.mate preorders start… i want the (inevitable) bonus comic aaaaaaaaaaa #i hope the bonus will be relatively(?) wholesome… unlike what’s probably in the actual manga u m.#i wonder if there will be another delay between the physical release and the digital release though…#anyways place your bets what do you think the cover of vol 2 will look like?#im guessing it’d be a redraw of one of the other chorus stills from the mv #maybe the one where she’s putting on makeup? since the flashback arc’s in this volume and all?#or maybe the ‘serves you right lol’ from the chorus with her fists by her chin?#(the second guess is mainly bc i think the series is gonna be 3 vols long and so one chorus still for each vol cover checks out right~?)#highly unlikely though lmaoooo since there are tons of good stills to pick from… she’s too cute #bc idk i really dont see the series dragging out for longer than 3 vols. esp since the flashback arc is already here #like. the protag’s flashback arcs usually appear some time around the climax of the story right?#so with the flashback in vol 2 that leaves enough time for a proper resolution in vol 3.#here’s to hoping that the chizuchan manga is able to have a better ending that whatever nonsense we got from the [redacted] anime lmao #i d k i just want to see chizuchan vibing with her friends and some resolution with renren and concon in vol 3 is that too much to ask—#then again this is the same manga that had the events of ch 4 and the first 2/3 of ch 5 take place #so there’s really no telling what’ll happen next…#in any case!!!!!! i’m terrified for ch 6 region lock release at the end of the month!!!!!#but… 160 pages long… hmmmmmm. does that mean that ch 8 (at least) will be short? ch 5 alone takes up a little over 1/4 of the pages…#and ch 6 was released in 4 parts on li.ne manga (like ch5)… so that’s prolly a long one too…#at this rate i think vol 2’s gonna come out before ch 7’s individual release… but… aaa.#i think i have the chizuchan manga’s on the brain a little too much for my own good. i should start charging it rent up there #a n y w a y s kimikawaii mv surpassed lxl’s hallokiss mv in views yayyyyyyyyy keep it up nagisakun down with lxl!!!!!!#aight that’s all from me for now. i think. i hope. yup. byeeeee #chizuutan chizpost

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minus-plus-zer0 · 15 days ago

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The Bakusquad Gaming Group - Ch. 4 - It's Official

| Masterlist | The Bakusquad Gaming Group Masterlist | | Previous | Next (TBD) | ♡ Genre: Fluff, suggestive ♡ Pairing: Gamer!Bakugou x Gamer!Reader ♡ Tags: Crossover (MHA x multiple franchises), gaming AU, Quirkless AU, aged up

Many Let's Players, including yourself, marked the upcoming gaming convention on your calendars several weeks in advance.

You and the Bakusquad were both set to attend, but you were only welcomed as a visitor. The Bakusquad became big enough to host their own live panel with Q&A, set on the first day of the convention. You didn’t get one because you didn’t have a big group like theirs, but your fanbase was still hyped for your own attendance. Many commenters clamored for more interactions between you and Bakugou at the convention, and people expected you to visit their panel specifically. Your fans often asked when you would officially join the Bakusquad, to the point of irritation.

The Bakusquad secretly planned to have you join them on their trip to the convention center. You wanted your appearance at their particular panel to be a surprise for the fans, so you never confirmed any of the fan's theories as to whether you would or wouldn't visit the Bakusquad panel in particular. You just informed everyone that you would be attending the upcoming convention, and left it at that.

The Bakusquad shared their panel schedule with you. The entire group would be sitting at a long table in front of the audience with their leader Bakugou standing at a podium leading the event. First, they would start with introducing their members, after that they'd show some skits they put together, then they'd proceed to announcements for future projects, videos, and merch, and finally they'd get to the Q&A section where fans would line up to ask them questions. They planned for you to be the first audience member in line for Q&A disguised as a fan and from there, you'd surprise everyone by joining them on their panel table. But they weren't sure of how exactly this would work. You'd figure it out later.

All the Bakusquad members (besides Bakugou himself) would be vlogging throughout their trip and posting it all later on their shared Bakusquad channel. Your appearances in these vlogs would be your first appearance on their shared group channel, though nobody knew the Bakusquad had invited you at all. The videos wouldn't be posted until after you left the convention. Your continued collaborations with the Bakusquad in the several weeks leading up to the panel only built up the hype for how the group would handle your eventual convention appearance.

Over the past months that you've known the Bakusquad, you chatted with all their members over numerous streams. This would be your first time seeing your friends in-person. The group already planned to meet you at the airport shortly before the convention started. From there, you'd travel to the convention center together.

The day before the convention, you landed at the airport, prepared to join the rest of the group. Bakugou's head was on a swivel until he caught sight of you, then he flagged you down.

You rushed over to the Bakusquad, carrying your luggage and waving at them. Ashido gave you a big hug when you finally reached them, with Bakugou scrutinizing you two from the sidelines.

"I finally get to see you in-person!" Ashido cried. "You're so much different than what I imagined!"

"But you've seen me on my facecam..." you said, as you and Ashido suffocated each other in the hug.

"It's probably your height," Sero said. "Nobody imagines height correctly." Kirishima nodded.

"You're different than what Bakugou said you'd look like!" Kaminari chimed in. "He told me--"

"I didn't tell you jack shit," Bakugou snapped. "Raccoon Eyes, let 'em go. Don't wanna see you two snuggling the entire damn trip."

Ashido released you. "What? Afraid I'm gonna steal her from you?"

"You couldn't steal candy from a fucking baby!"

"Let's not fight!" you said. "This is supposed to be a happy occasion, right?"

"Have you met us?" Jirou asked. "We're not exactly a group that's known for getting along all chummy and shit."

You pouted. "But I like being chummy... and shit."

Bakugou patted your head. "Don't get too chummy with the wrong crowd." He glared at Ashido, who didn't care at all. "Don't worry about them, worry about yourself. We can go over the convention plans in the car. Let's move, people."

You spent the day hanging out with the Bakusquad. It wasn't so different from your chats online except that the group was much more chaotic in-person. They loved to rib one another, and sometimes it felt like it was every man for himself. For example, Jirou teased you for getting emotional and sensitive in your last dating sim and Bakugou nearly ripped her to shreds on the spot. You held Bakugou back before he could land himself in prison.

But the group members also supported one another, including you. They always made sure to include you in conversations and it felt easy to talk with them as you did before online, like they were still your same old friends. Bakugou chatted with you most of all.

"Never heard Bakugou talk this much before outside of streams," Kaminari said, as your group walked around town. "It's weird seeing him semi-friendly."

"That's a blatant lie," Bakugou snapped. "You've known me for how long?!"

"Come to think of it," Sero said, "this is my first time hearing Bakugou speak. I usually just tune him out automatically."

"I thought he was mute!" Ashido said, shrugging.

Once again, you had to hold back Bakugou from committing murder. This continued several times throughout the day, with the other members sometimes using you as a human meat shield against their leader.

The group eventually got too accustomed to you reigning in Bakugou, soon growing cocky and taunting Bakugou even more than before. They accused him of being overly fluffy, committing various crimes, and being unable to hide his fondness for you. That last one embarrassed you so much you couldn't hold back Bakugou anymore, and the entire group ran away to avoid a raging Bakugou. You were left in the dust until Bakugou led you back to where the group hid.

Afterwards, your group ate out together at a restaurant and then finally retired to a hotel. You shared a hotel room with Ashido and Jirou, each person with their own separate bed. Bakugou had his own hotel room and the other three guys shared a room with only two beds, which was quite strange. You didn't know if two of the three boys shared a bed, if one of them brought a sleeping bag from home, or if one of them just duct-taped themselves to the ceiling for a place to sleep. You didn't ask. Ashido giggled every time you mentioned it, though.

Around late evening, Ashido and Jirou left your shared hotel room to get some late night snacks. You texted Bakugou that you were terribly bored being alone, and he texted you something intriguing.

"Come over."

It almost sounded like a command, though you knew he'd respect your rejection if you didn't want to go. Still, you went.

His hotel door was open when you reached it. "Bakugou?" You popped your head inside.

"Yo." Bakugou sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for you.

You locked the door behind you and approached him, a little jittery. "I'm so excited for this convention. It'll be my first, you know?"

"Mine too," he said, as you sat down beside him. "First time being on a panel, anyways."

"I'm so proud of you," you said. "Don't forget about me after you grow eternally famous."

"...'Course I won't. Remember what we planned. And don't get too nervous, alright? 'Cause I can tell you're nervous right now."

His hand stroked your face briefly. He smirked. You bit back a smile, but it still appeared nevertheless.

"It's not really our planned surprise that's making me nervous," you admitted. "I think it's more your doing..."

"How bad is it?"

"It's keeping me from sleeping for sure."

"Why don't you go to bed?" Bakugou asked, his voice almost a growl.

"I'm already here, aren't I?" you said, innocently.

Bakugou drew closer to you, your noses almost touching.

"That's exactly what I meant..."

Your phone rang. You both jumped back. You scowled at the wretched incoming call. It was Ashido. You glanced at Bakugou before taking the call.

"Hey!" Ashido cried. "Where the heck are you?! We have your snacks right here!"

"Yeah," Jirou chimed in. "Get the fuck back here. We're getting real hungry and we might start eating your portion. Or do you want us to hunt for you?"

Jirou must've known exactly where you went. Maybe Ashido did too. You couldn't let them find you here.

"Um, gimme a second, okay? I'm kind of busy!"

"Busy with what--"

You hung up on them. Bakugou was still staring at you the entire time. His expression was unreadable.

"Sorry," you said. "I don't want them to find me in here. They'll think--"

"I know exactly what they'll think."

Your heart was still beating out of your chest, and so was his.

"I'm sorry," you said. "I have to go. I just--"

"Go."

"Okay. Alright. Goodnight."

"Night."

You didn't get to talk to Bakugou about your little tryst the following day. You felt it was your fault for leaving, but you didn't think you could convince Ashido and Jirou to stop searching for you even if you were blunt about your situation.

The group would soon start preparing for their panel and there wasn't any time to waste. As the group's leader, Bakugou would make sure that the Bakusquad got through all their panel segments on time and generally keep the other idiots in line.

You worked overtime to help manage the group, even though it wasn't officially your job. Like a true parent, you kept everyone fed, stopped numerous fights, and made fun of them even worse than how they made fun of each other. You caught Bakugou snickering at some of your teasing.

The turnout for the Bakusquad event was much bigger than anyone expected, and the audience almost filled out the entire room. Every single one of the Bakusquad members was pretty nervous. It showed in a number of ways, like fidgeting or chattiness. Bakugou was quieter than he usually was, separate from the rest of the group. Nobody else seemed to notice.

Bakugou reassured the group throughout the day that they'd 'give the audience hell' and would 'show them what they're made of'. But you still worried about him.

You found some alone time with Bakugou before the show started. You started stroking his arm rhythmically to calm him down.

"...Are ya doing this for me or more for yourself?" Bakugou asked, quietly.

"A bit of both," you said, resting your head against his shoulder. "I know you're a big scaredy cat deep down."

"You're the scaredy cat..."

Bakugou pulled you against him for a hug. You could hear how fast his heart raced inside his chest. You buried your face in his chest, trying your best to soothe his worries. You weren't sure if you were making him more or less relaxed.

"We start in a few minutes!" Kirishima called out in the distance.

You abruptly pulled away from Bakugou. You saw him mentally snap out of his reverie, and you wondered what he was thinking regarding your hug just now. But there' wasn't time.

"Got your fill?" you asked. "It's starting soon. I know you'll do great out there, trust me. So break a leg!"

"Will do." Bakugou walked away, never breaking your gaze. "And thank you, I mean it. Watch me while I'm up there, alright? Don't take your eyes off me."

You nodded. Bakugou walked out onto the panel, where the other Bakusquad members sat at a lengthy table in front of the audience. You scurried off to your reserved seat in the audience area, putting on a unicorn mask to disguise yourself. For now, you'd pretend to be a normal fan. From your seat, you checked up on Bakugou, who still seemed to be flustered from your earlier interactions.

Many audience members wore the Bakusquad's merchandise. Most members wore Dynamight's merch, with his iconic explosion logo and faceless designs. He once told you in private he hated the idea of people wearing his face, and you always laughed at the thought of it.

Some other fans wore your merch too. There was a large overlap between your fanbases nowadays. Online, there were numerous fans asking if you were present at the convention right now. The girls sitting next to you were even reading fluffy Bakugou x You fanfiction to pass the time... You hoped none of these people would recognize you now that you were disguised as a beautiful latex unicorn.

Bakugou scanned the crowd for you and spotted your unicorn mask soon enough. You gave him two peace signs that he definitely saw. He could barely tear his eyes away from your silly disguise until Kirishima reminded him to start.

Bakugou straightened the microphone on his podium, the rest of the group sitting at a long table facing the audience.

"Yo," Bakugou said. "I'm Bakugou Katsuki, aka Dynamight, the leader of the Bakusquad. And these are the lackeys that do my bidding."

"You wish," Jirou said.

"We're more like his personal group of bullies!" Ashido said. The others nodded.

"Our videos never exactly go to plan due to this type of behavior," Bakugou said, with a sneer. "In case you couldn't fucking tell, we're a gaming group. We vlog, and we enter competitions, and all that shit. You guys wanna introduce yourselves?"

The rest of the Bakusquad members introduced themselves as Bakugou asked to varying levels of applause. Bakugou garnered the most applause by far, while the rest gathered less applause, along with more formal canned reactions. You wondered how many people would applaud for you.

After their introductions, they moved onto announcements and the skits they produced. Most of the skits were just them dicking around, and often had nothing to do with video games. But the audience liked seeing the Bakusquad get into trouble. Occasionally Bakugou glanced at you to check your reaction and he looked pleased to catch you giggling. You shooed him away if he stared too long.

Finally, the Q&A section started and fans started lining up to ask questions. You got in line first before anyone else. Many of the Bakusquad members glanced at your unicorn mask waiting in line, thinking about the question you'd love to ask them as a 'fan'.

You kind of knew what you generally wanted to ask, but you didn't form an exact script. Bakugou would be handling the questions, so you'd have to improvise a bit on the fly. You walked up to the microphone set up for the Q&A fans, facing the Bakusquad with your unicorn mask still concealing your face.

You asked them a question that Bakugou knew was coming, something that fans already asked them a million times on social media.

You asked about yourself.

"When is that pink gamer girl gonna show up at your panel?"

The audience groaned at your annoying question. Some even glared.

“I dunno." Bakugou grinned. "When are you?”

You took off your unicorn mask. The audience gasped.

"Everyone, meet our newest Bakusquad member!"

You took off your unicorn mask and walked up to the stage. The audience's groans transformed into cheers upon seeing you. The fans wearing your merchandise shrieked and you high-fived them as you walked past. Even so, their cheers were not enough to rival everyone's cheers for Bakugou from earlier. You took an extra seat besides Bakugou's podium at the long table, the bright production lights almost blinding your eyes. You overheard some audience members talking about you. "Dynamight's girlfriend joined the Bakusquad!"

"She's gonna be a permanent part of our videos from now on," Bakugou said, looking happy to have you by his side. "And since she's now officially part of our group, you can start bugging her with questions too."

"Now you guys can finally stop asking us when she'll join," Kirishima said. Some of the Bakusquad laughed at that.

"But don't go asking any shipping-related shit!" Bakugou said. "That stuff's banned from Q&A. Onto the next question."

Some of the crowd looked disappointed by the shipping ban, but most were still hyped. You were nervous, and didn't know what questions to expect.

The first real fan approached the microphone after you left it, wearing a Dynamight T-shirt.

"Um, hi!" the fan said. "Just wanted to say I'm excited to meet you all, including the newest member." The crowd let loose a few cheers. "So my question is kinda weird. But it's something I ask at every panel. Uh, how did you guys sleep last night?"

"Oddly intrusive question," Jirou said. "Me and Ashido I barely slept at all, we were up gaming."

"Did you guys know that these three boys slept together?" Ashido gestured towards Kirishima, Sero, and Kaminari. "And yet they only had twoooo beds! What's up with that?"

"Speaking of which, how did you sleep last night?" Sero asked Kaminari in a sultry tone, complete with bedroom eyes.

"I slept great, thanks to you..."

"Fucking shut the fuck up!" Bakugou said, slamming his hands on the podium. "I don't wanna hear about your creepy ass love lives!"

"Clearly someone does," you said, side-eyeing the audience. "I think it's cute."

"At least we have a love life!" Kaminari cried. "What do you have? A single hotel bedroom, all to yourself?"

You and Bakugou shared a quick glance at each other. Nobody actually knew that you visited his bedroom the other night, and you sure as hell weren't going to reveal anything here.

"My bedroom is my business," Bakugou said.

"Bet there's no 'business' going on in there," Ashido said. Jirou whooped and high-fived her. The audience laughed with them.

"Fucking shut up, all of you." Bakugou glared at the audience. "All of you."

"Aw come on you guys!" you said, desperately trying to save Bakugou's dignity. "It doesn't matter if Bakugou's got nothing going on. It's okay to be single, don't you know?"

"You're making things worse," Bakugou said.

"Wait hold on a minute! Hold on a minute!" Everyone (except Bakugou) turned to Kirishima. "So you're agreeing he's got nothing going on? Even you? 'Cause by the way the shippers talk I thought you'd--"

"Don't mention the damn shippers!"

Some of the audience cheered and shrieked, and you knew exactly which part of your current audience was the shippers. It was those people in particular.

"I thought the shipping ban was for the fans only?" Kirishima asked. "I don't ship anybody..."

"No, the ban is for everyone!" Bakugou said. "For her sake, we're not mentioning any 'shipping' for the rest of the panel." Bakugou briefly glanced at you. "No shipping questions and no shipping talk from these traitors. Or else I'll fucking 'ship' you to Africa."

"I slept fine by the way!" you said, cheerfully.

The next few questions were directed to the other Bakusquad members. You drank some water as you tried to calm down, wondering when you would be asked a question. Finally, a new fan stepped towards the microphone, his question addressed to Bakugou and you.

"Is it true that Dynamight and the new girl went to university together?"

"We actually did!" you said. "He was apparently the star quarterback on the university's sports team. Made headlines and everything. But we never talked to each other."

"It's a shame I never even saw you once," Bakugou said.

"I wish we would've met back then," you said, smiling at the boy. "Apparently you had a different haircut back in uni. Less fluffy."

"Think he would've had the same personality though," Kaminari said. "The same, awful personality."

"Shut your trap!" Bakugou snapped. "The question doesn't involve you."

"Hey, I was just kidding!"

Bakugou sighed. "Anyways, if we did meet back then, our channels probably would've turned out differently."

"Oh absolutely!" you said. "The audience may not know this, but Bakugou was a huge fan of my channel before we met. We both binged a lot of each other's videos like, all the time. And he actually modeled his channel after mine!"

Bakugou averted his eyes from you, embarrassed. Still, he didn't deny what you said.

"But your content is completely different..." Jirou said, twirling her hair. "Bakugou's never done tea time with his chat members."

"Not yet!" You wiggled your eyebrows at Bakugou.

"Not ever. Next question."

A few more fans passed around questions to various Bakusquad members before the final fan addressed you, one more time. It was one of the girls reading Bakugou x You fanfiction that you saw earlier.

"Not a shipping question, but what do you and Dynamight like most about each other?"

This question was definitely toeing the line of 'shipping', but you couldn't call it out. You didn't want to be rude to your fans. So you tried playing it off as a joke, with both you and Bakugou suddenly scrutinizing each other.

"Is there anything I like about this guy?" you asked yourself, stroking your chin.

"If you don't like me, why are you always hanging out with me? Huh?"

The audience fawned over your interaction with a suggestive "Ooooo!" You really didn't mean to flirt in front of everyone, but perhaps that was how they interpreted it. Even the fan at the microphone got excited.

"You're not gonna answer the question?" Bakugou asked.

"You first." You really had no idea how to salvage this situation.

Bakugou groaned. "I don't fucking know... I really love your hair. Happy?"

You cringed internally. Couldn't Bakugou choose a trait that wasn't tied to your appearance? You glared at him but he wasn't looking at you or anyone. The man appeared suspicious as all hell.

"Well I like your temper," you said, with a lackadaisical flick of your hand. "Makes it easy to rile you up for views."

The audience also fawned and squealed over that comment, which you didn't interpret as suggestive at all. You didn't know what ran through their minds, and you didn't want to know.

Kirishima leaned over and quickly whispered to you, "You're both really awful at this, you know that?" You couldn't even snap back a response without alerting everyone in the audience watching you.

"That's one way to fucking end things," Bakugou said. "We're officially outta time for Q&A."

"And thanks to everyone else who came!" you cried. "To the rest of you still in line, we're so sorry we couldn't take everyone's questions. We really had a lot of fun today!"

The rest of the Bakusquad thanked the audience and said their goodbyes. After the panel, your group stuck around to sign autographs and take photos with the fans. Bakugou held back unless you specifically joined him in the fan's photos. Otherwise, the boy was ready to call it quits with the panel event to explore the rest of the convention. Bakugou's eyes kept shifting back towards you every now and then.

Even after the panel finished, you wondered about Bakugou's comment. Was your hair really your best trait? Or was he hiding the real answer from the audience and you? You needed to know. After all, your own answer wasn't entirely honest. You didn't hate his temper and you did enjoy teasing him, but it wasn't your favorite trait of all time. The first positive thing about him that came to mind was his appearance, but blurting that out wouldn't have helped either.

Maybe you should've denied the fan's question entirely. Maybe you should've gotten media training prior to the panel. You didn't know.

The rest of the group split up to explore the other panels at the gaming convention. You found yourself alone with Bakugou in a courtyard close to the convention center, with fewer people around. Your heart skipped a beat.

"So... you like my hair?" you asked, a hand on your hip.

"Don't read into it," Bakugou said, quickly looking away. "I had to give 'em something."

"Couldn't you give them something that wouldn't feed the shippers?"

"You fed them too! Fuck, they would've been fed off of anything we do! If we stood next to each other, they'd assume we're married! Worry about it when we get even more famous."

"Guess so... Say, what was your real answer to their last question?"

"You're asking what I like most about you?" Bakugou folded his arms and grinned. "I dunno. Guess you're pretty cute when you're all worried like you were on stage."

You pouted. "It was a normal amount of nervousness! You were nervous too!"

"Not as much as you. Probably 'cause you helped calm me down earlier. I also love it whenever ya argue with me."

"That must be why you love pestering me," you said.

"Maybe... But if I'm being honest, there's a whole lotta other stuff I love about ya."

Bakugou stroked your face. You held still, not pulling away from him. The few other people in the courtyard didn't notice you two.

Bakugou gulped.

"So what was your answer?" Bakugou asked.

"My answer? Hm... It's probably your hair that I like most. Just so soft."

"Is that all ya like about me?" Bakugou looked at you, seriously.

"No, there's so much more than that..."

"...Guess we're the same."

Bakugou leaned in and kissed you, exhaling through his nose. His lips were warm like his body, somewhat chapped yet still inviting. His hand still cupped your face, tilting your head slightly so he could deepen the kiss better. Bakugou groaned into your mouth, kissing you like a starved man. You loved the kiss but you couldn't reciprocate with half as much pressure as he was giving; the boy wanted to immediately transform his first kiss into his first makeout session. His lips wouldn't waste this rare opportunity of getting to kiss you.

Bakugou pinned you against a nearby courtyard pillar while you were all too aware of the people nearby. You broke away from his kiss, the both of you catching your breath.

"You're lucky nobody saw that," you whispered.

"Don't care," he said, voice rough. "Wanted ya so bad."

Somebody turned towards your direction and you straightened yourself, trying to act natural. Bakugou followed your lead, scratching the back of his neck to hide his face from others. A few more people poured into the courtyard from the convention center and you couldn't resume your intimacy with an audience.

You pulled on Bakugou's arm. "How about we enjoy the convention center together? I promise we can save all that other stuff for later..."

"Oh we're definitely picking back up again later, dammit!"

Still reeling from his first kiss, Bakugou followed after you like a lost puppy. You spent the entire day with Bakugou. It honestly felt like a real date, though neither of you two said anything directly about your kiss. You didn't know where your relationship was. You didn't know whether you or Bakugou wanted to be public about your relationship yet.

Throughout the entire day, you couldn't get the image of you and Bakugou nearly making out from your mind's eye. You wondered if Bakugou was the same; he kept peeking at your lips every now and then. When he held your face with one hand, his fingers brushed dangerously close to the edges of your mouth. But you two never got another private moment to kiss with all these people around. Bakugou made sure to protect you and your privacy.

You soon reconvened with the rest of the Bakusquad. Bakugou certainly wouldn't spill any juicy details to them, instead acting cagey whenever the group members inquired on your time together. Over lunch and later dinner you two didn't have much alone time to yourselves. Bakugou kept trying to invite you somewhere more private, but you never got the chance.

It wasn't until nighttime that you saw Bakugou alone again.

Overnight, all of your members kept trying to prank and mess with each other while people tried to sleep, which led to no one getting any sleep at all.

Bakugou was the best at staying unharmed, since he had his own bedroom as well as the only key to its lock. You were the only one allowed inside because Bakugou got you an extra key for his room.

You saw the opportunity to strike, and you took it.

It was late at night, far later than when Bakugou usually slept. Ashido and Jirou already caught you sneaking out of your shared bedroom, but they didn't stop you. If anything, they pushed you out into the hallway. It was very encouraging.

You knew that even though Bakugou wanted to see you alone all day long, he couldn't possibly stay up this late just for that. His old grandpa genes wouldn't let him. So you crept into his bedroom without issue.

Bakugou's room was entirely dark and you quickly closed the door behind you to prevent too much light from getting in. You snuck over to him and you could hear the lazy rhythmic breathing of his body. It was so cute.

You were dead tired from staying up this late, but you needed to prank him as this could be your only chance during the convention. You gave him one test poke. Bakugou moved and your heart leapt out of your chest, but he only rolled over to the other side of the bed. He still looked asleep.

Frustrated, you got onto the bed to get back within poking distance of the beast. You giggled quietly as you prepared your real attack.

Then, Bakugou grabbed you by your waist. You shrieked and shrieked but he wouldn't let go.

You tumbled backwards and managed to turn on a lamp. His arms had an iron grip on your waist, alongside a devilish grin on his sleepy face, as he caught you right in the act.

"Where do ya think you're going?" he asked, bags under his eyes.

"How long have you been awake?" you asked.

"Since you opened the door. If you wanna prank me, don't make it so damn obvious!"

He clung to you tighter, pulling you back onto the bed. Then he rose up on his knees, grabbed a pillow, and smacked you with it (softly).

"Stop!"

He smacked you again (softly).

"Hey stop!"

You grabbed the pillow before he could hit you and you both played tug-of-war with it. With your free arm, you grabbed a different pillow and them smacked his face with it, forcing him back. You sat upright, your new pillow locked and loaded.

"Did ya come here just to kill me?" he asked, still grinning.

"No, but that option isn't exactly off the menu."

"What else was on the menu?"

You were about to answer his unanswerable question until you heard footsteps and a voice outside.

"Who's making all that noise?" someone called out.

Both of your heads snapped to the front door, and you saw that it was still unlocked.

"You didn't lock the door!" Bakugou said through gritted teeth.

You shot him an apologetic look and rushed over to lock it properly. Once you did, you turned back to him, still wielding his hotel pillow as your temporary weapon-of-choice. But you didn't want to risk making anymore noise, not while there were still footsteps outside. And you couldn't return to your bedroom with people searching outside. So that left one option.

"You wanna actually sleep for once?" you asked, holding your pillow behind your back.

Bakugou slammed his pillow back into its proper place. "That's what I was fucking doing before you arrived!" He looked a little nervous before he voiced his next thoughts. "...C'mon back over, if ya want. They might catch ya if you try to leave."

You walked over to him, shyly. He didn't take his eyes off you as you approached.

Once you got near the bed you lightly pushed his shoulder. "Um, move please."

"Move where?"

"...Back to where you were originally sleeping..."

He raised an eyebrow at you and then did so, climbing under the covers while scrutinizing you. "This is the only time I'll let somebody boss me around."

"No it's not," you said, smiling. You put your pillow back into its place and climbed into bed after him, with his eyes never leaving you. His eyebrow raised the tiniest bit the closer you got to him, his body stiffening.

"Hi." You gave him a small wave from your side of the bed, which wasn't that far from him.

"Fucking hello, I guess," he said, waving back. He gulped. "If you're comfortable with this, don't be so damn formal..."

He yanked you over (a little too quickly) to his side of the bed. You squealed. You were almost nose-to-nose now, your arms defensive against your chest but your face beaming up at his. He looked down at you softly, still gripping your arm a bit too firmly before finally remembering to release you. You both looked dead tired, and you felt it too.

"Thanks for sharing your bed with me so I wouldn't get caught," you murmured slowly.

"Thanks for stealing it from me with my permission," Bakugou said, groggily. Bakugou yawned despite himself and he looked even more tired afterwards. "Stay as long as ya want. I'd never kick you out, so you're safe with me. Don't ever feel like you need to leave." He poked the tip of your nose. "Just don't try to kill me in my sleep or whatever..."

"No promises..." you said, your eyelids doing the same.

Bakugou stared at you for a few seconds, as if contemplating his next move. Then, Bakugou tentatively pressed his lips against yours, his breathing a bit stilted. When you reciprocated the kiss, Bakugou pushed further with growing confidence, making sure to get his fill of love for the night before sleeping. Giggles bubbled out of you and you pulled away from his long-held kiss to peck his face several times. Bakugou grumbled then pecked your own face double the amount times you pecked him, just to prove a point. When he finished, he was staring down at you again, his eyelids drooping.

He looked at you like you were the most precious thing he'd ever saw.

"You're so pretty," he said, his voice somewhat slurred. "But are we actually gonna sleep now? Or what?"

He looked somewhat desperate, like he wanted you to say no. You weren't sure what you wanted.

"You tell me..."

You wrapped your arms around his neck, waiting for his next move. Bakugou stilled, his movements stiff as his arms wrapped around you in return, holding you even tighter than how you held him. Bakugou gingerly kissed you on the lips.

If your fans could see you two now, they'd have much more ammo for their fanfiction...

(The moment when you join the Bakusquad is based off of a real life gaming group moment, if anyone gets the reference! A lot of this story is based off of real life Let's Players but especially that part. Also holy crap it took me so long just to make this chapter, it got extremely long but I am satisfied with it for the most part!)

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