#certified-demon

[vaggieslefteye]

Appreciating Hazbin Hotel's Character Expressions ↳ ᴀʟᴀꜱᴛᴏʀ in 1x08 - "The Show Must Go On"

[themainspoon]

I keep seeing polls made for people unfamiliar with a piece of media to ask them to try and identify the thing that does not happen in said media, and I always thought those looked like a lot of fun! So, I decided to make one, and I already knew the perfect franchise for one: The World of Darkness (WoD) TTRPG franchise. The WoD is a franchise containing several different TTRPG’s about playing as monsters, and it has some of the most unhinged lore I have ever come across.

Almost everything above is heavily simplified for the sake of fitting into the poll boxes btw. Also, I promise that this is not a trick. Ten of the Eleven options presented above actually are a part of this franchises seemingly infinite Metaplot. I’ll schedule a reblog containing the answer and some much needed context for everything above.

[staticymaticyyourlifeisatravesty]

You know since Fulgrim became this snake thing, how much do you wanna bet he has a habit of swallowing things whole and then just not eating for the next week or so that it takes to digest his meal? I bet you anything he's eaten space marines whole and got a horrible stomach ache from it. Why he thought it was a good idea is anyone's guess.

Anyway, I am slowly learning to love Fulgrim as much as I do Sanguinius. They're both super cool and it's very sad what happened to Fulgrim. I wish I could fix him. Also, Snake. You have no idea how much I fucking love Snakes. His scales are so pretty!!!! I wonder how hard shedding is for him. He must have times where he doesn't really eat much or seem interested in doing anything aside from rubbing on this rock because skin is very itchy and tight. I also realize this would imply Fulgrim is literally just getting bigger and longer. He does not need to get any bigger. He will become a mountain of a snake man if allowed to grow continuously. Probably more likely shed if he gets hurt or has parasites like regular snakes do. Might shed every few hundred years or thousand depending. As big as his sheds would be, imagine how pretty they'd be!!!

[valerie-is-in-the-cupboard]

My boyfriend, a certified Alastor hater, just dropped one of the best Alastor headcanon I’ve ever read😭😭😭😭😭😭

[allastoredeer]

Ya know what's odd to me? That vast majority of hazbin/helluva ships have the taller partner bottom anyway. HuskerDust, Stolitz, Chaggie, StaticMoth, even CherrySnake! So, what's the hang up on Alastor not being allowed to be the pillow-prince he was always meant to be? Or, more specifically, why the insistence under Bottom!Alastor posts that "he would never"?

The man needs that break from stress and responsibilities or he'd go on more rampages!

And, like, here's the thing. When people say they can't "see" Alastor bottoming. Cool, that's fine. Not everyone is going to see a character in the same way, nor should they. You're allowed to have your preferences.

It's when they say he "would never" that it starts getting on my nerves.

He would never bottom? Never? Well, my permit here says otherwise.

[lint-beetle4]

hello! Can I get a request of the new lego monkie kid season five character?

Xiangliu x reader smut

Like xiangliu hhaving a bad day and he needed to find Y/N to satisfy himself :)

Warm Embrace (Xiangliu X Reader Fluff and Smut)

Every demon is subject to have their bad days

It's a normal part of life for everything to just suck

Unfortunately, Nine was feeling just that--shitty

Being one of the ten kings was a difficult process

Not because it was a hard job or anything, but because those pompous demons were just so strict

It was tiring going through the motions, all he craved was freedom to be rid of a destiny that had everyone caged

The only good thing to come around was you

You weren't in the other cycles--but with one simple act of well placed defiance, you came to him out of the blue

See, you were interesting, you weren't expected, but here you were

On days like these, you were the light that Nine sought, the warm glow of discovery that he could return to

He was lucky to have you, and he wanted to show just how much he appreciated you as you became a part of something bigger

Xiangliu stumbled into his shelter, a lavish palace that the 10 kings stayed in when the night grew long and the voices of the damned softened.

The consort knew exactly who he needed, and he wasn't going to be stopped--job be damned, Xiangliu needed a release.

"My love?" Your voice was a blessing in every way, and Xiangliu turned to you, nearly running to your ready embrace. "Why do you come here looking as if you fought heaven and back?"

"I might as well have," the snake demon chuckled sadly. "Those fools know nothing--they are simpletons at best..."

"I'm tired, my dear." Xiangliu admitted softly, sinking his head into your shoulders. "I simply needed to see you, to take my worries away from this nonsense."

"My prince, I'm so glad you've come back." Oh, he loved you. How your hands rubbed his back and soothed the invisible ache away from his body.

He wanted to feel you more, all of you.

Xiangliu felt a snap in his brain, something wild wriggled deep in him, and his lips crashed into yours with a ferocity you'd never seen before. Yet, you allowed his hands to explore your body, his tongue to wrap around yours and his eyes to bore deeply into you with a hidden message.

You smiled as your lover lifted you into his arms, rushing into your private quarters before nearly tearing your clothes off. Xiangliu was a patient demon, never one to be exceedingly impulsive--this was a new sight to behold, something only your eyes would ever see.

With another pleading look in his eyes, you simply gave a nod, feeling his scaly hands travel down your body, fondling you ever so tenderly as he made slow and steady movements to prepare you. You bucked into his hands, feeling those expert fingers untangle your nerves with blasts of pleasure.

Xiangliu was inside you before you knew it.

Oh, how that demon kept thrusting into you, pounding into you as if you were only thing that could cure his troubles. You moaned loudly, hips grinding into the duel sensation of the demon's cocks. They filled you up so wonderfully, enough to have you on edge within mere moments.

Xiangliu lowered his head as his movements became staggered, jerking desperately. You felt his teeth sink into your neck, sharp pain radiating from the abused area as you felt his cocks pulsating into you. You clenched onto them, listening to beautiful melody of your lover moaning and whimpering your name as he roughly pounded into you, gripping onto your hips with a final thrust as he came with a pathetic whine.

You pet the wilting snakes on your lovers head, some twisting around your hand gently. Xiangliu nuzzled up into the crook of your neck, his cocks soft inside of you.

"Thank you, my darling."

[dollypopup]

"But everything Lady Whistledown wrote was true!"

. . .does it matter?

Is the price for cruelty truth? Does it cease to be unkind if it is honest? Was the bullying many of us were subjected to swept away simply because it was, in some ways, objectively true? Because I have been fat all my life, and the people who weaponized that against me were 'just being honest'? When it took me longer to answer a question due to my processing with ADHD, were people right to call me 'slow' and laugh just because it was true?

Are rumors okay to spread if they're 'true'? No matter how much they harm others? Is the hurt someone experiences at the hands of gossip inconsequential because it happens to be private information made public against their will- but is still, at the core of it, genuine?

Can we out queer people, just because it's true? Can we reveal locations?

Do the ends justify the means? How much blood is okay to spill in the name of honesty? Who asked for Brutal Honesty to knock on their doors? Or is it allowed to come into our homes unwarranted simply on the basis of existence?

Where is tender honesty? Compassionate honesty? Empathetic honesty? Gentle honesty?

My issues with Lady Whistledown, and thus Penelope's actions and how people defend them, do not rest upon the truth of them. They rest on the unkindness. They rest on the fact that Penelope wants to 'be better' but is still, at the core of it, revealing information that is not her business or right to reveal. That she herself was at the bladed end of that experience and cried and cried and cried- and still chose it. That she knows the pain she can cause, and does cause, and yet cannot let it go for the sake of the power it holds.

It's not all her fault. She lives in a sexist society. She is a woman who has been made powerless because of misogyny and then snatched that power back. In some ways, it's impressive.

But we have to acknowledge the cruelty of it. That the people who pay are predominately woman. Those she cares for. The disenfranchised. That she herself has paid. That Colin has. Eloise has. Marina has. Kate, Edwina, Daphne, Cressida, modistes, and countless staff who came under scrutiny have paid.

I just want her to grow in Season 4. I want her to recognize she can pursue her passions without gossip and rumors. I want her to write stories and go traveling. I want her to make new friends outside of what she can provide for them with the power of her publication. I want her and Colin to be in love knowing they're moving forward together, instead of him being a mirror for 'her light' as she burns herself out.

I want more for her than 'brutal honesty'.

[what-have-i-unleashed]

ok some freaky scenario in my head right now...

(cw: exhibitionism kink, lemon writing (not detailed but still))

maybe it's after a mission and killer and dust are in the same room idling around. then killer gets bored and glances at dust with a particular look on his face. killer does a kabedon on dust and it's super effective! killer is all smarmy like "hey babygirl~" and dust wants to punt him so badly but also he cannot lie - this scene is kinda doing something to him.

and dust's hands bunch around killer's shirt, twitching, unsure if he wants to push killer away or pull him close. after some time, with much of killer's incessant dirty talk, dust finally pulls him in. and they just start having freaky sex against the door right there and then, both panting and moaning and dust trying to keep it down because they're still in a public space.

and then there's a knock on the door, and dust freezes in place, making killer stop too. it's horror on the other side, grumbling, "killer, you done in there or what?"

"almost," killer replies, his voice breathy and his eyes still trained on dust's face. "give me a few minutes and i''ll finish."

and killer starts moving again inside dust, slowly but surely, regardless of their other teammate just on the other side of the door they're having sex against. and dust just stares at killer in disbelief, but he can't help the arousal building in him. he covers his mouth to stop his moans coming through.

"you got what nightmare ordered?" dust can hear horror's voice travel through the wooden layer.

"yup. just need to clean up a bit here. have some other business to attend to."

dust can't understand how killer's voice can remain so cheerful and stable despite the act they're in right now. a particularly hard thrust has dust let out a tiny squeak and the door gives a thump as he whimpers.

"... what's that?"

"just banged my leg against the desk. nothing to worry about, handsome~"

there's nothing but silence on the other end. then sounds of shuffling. and then everything is quiet again. killer leans into dust's face, whispering.

"figured he's gone?"

dust removes his hand away from his mouth. his chin and his hand are covered in saliva. he glares half-heartedly at killer.

"... fucking... asshole..."

killer hums, "yeah, i'm fucking you right now, dustbunny," killer gives a thrust that almost leaves dust unbalanced on his toes. "also, don't think i didn't notice how tight you were gripping onto me earlier. someone's got a kink~"

whatever protests dust have is swept away in his moans and little breathy 'aah-aah' sounds, increasingly louder as he feels killer hitting his spot. his hands grab onto killer's jacket from behind, trying to force him move closer, harder, faster. killer happily obliges, burying his face in dust's neck as he nips at the bones there.

they go at it for a while, becoming more frantic and desperate, uncaring of the open space surrounding them. dust can feel it so close. so close already. he opens his mouth, ready to urge killer to-

"you guys done in there or what?"

horror's bored voice echoes through the door, making dust tense up and see white little stars in his vision. he gasps, trying to come down from the high as he feels killer release inside of him and purr contently against his chin. dust's legs feel like jelly, and he would fall over if not for killer's tight hold on him.

"coming, big guy~" killer cheers. "we're done here. hope you got a great show."

"it was okay."

"just okay?!" killer gasps, all fake indignation. "didn't know you have such high standards for entertainment. maybe dusty can show you some next time."

dust has never wanted to hit killer's smug face so hard right now. but, he has to stop his bodily tremors first, still sensitive in its aftershock. and then, he'll have his revenge on killer the moment he least expects it. for sure.

[actuallycassidyiambusy]

Luffy (nonchalant): So, what are you? One of those incubi that are sent to trick me into falling for my darkest fantasies?

Buggy: Pfft. What? No, why?

Luffy (panicking internally): 'oh shit oh fuck'

Buggy (grinning like a smug bastard): WHY?

[vaggieslefteye]

out for blood ⇌ out for love

[spacedoutman]

Gene Simmons - 1976, August 20th, North Hollywood, Cali ✨

Pictures originally uploaded by u/feralangel2000 on the Kiss subreddit

I only reloaded them because Gene looks like a stripper

[themainspoon]

If you are a WoD fan and you aren’t aware of how fucking wild White Wolf’s strategy for marketing Demon: the Fallen was, that changes right fucking now, get ready.

So, the year is 2002, American Culture is still moving past the Satanic Panic, and your job is to market a Table Top Role Playing Game where you play as literal demons who were aligned with the Biblical figure of Lucifer. The book has a big ass pentagram on its cover, and is filled with information on fictional demons and their demonic powers.

How do you market this?

Well, isn’t it obvious?

You satirise Chick Tracks by making a fake one about how the game you’re supposed to be promoting is satanic. I’ve linked it below, it’s only 23 pages long;

But you may be thinking: “Ok, that’s a funny concept, but why is this such a big deal to you?” Well, buckle the fuck up kiddo’s, because I want you to look at that last panel again:

Do you notice anything about it that could prompt further inquiry? What about that URL?

You see, the chick track was only one part of this little marketing stunt.

And so, I ask again, how do you market Demon: the Fallen?

You create an entire fake Evangelical church website called the Eternal Grace Evangelical Church, and write a fake sermon in which you claim that the brand that hired you is producing games that turn children into drug addicts and sexual predators, also claiming that Vampire: the Masquerade was involved in real world murders including the fucking Columbine School Shooting.

Below is a link to the site from the Internet Archives Wayback machine, the main bulk of the interesting stuff is in the sermons section.

Quick note, they used EVERY part of the evangelical bullshit playbook to make this site look legit, they went hard on this. So, the site is satire, but it still feels like it would be a good idea to mention that they satirise everything about Evangelicals, including their homophobic, transphobic, anti-catholic, and anti-pagan beliefs.

https://web.archive.org/web/20031205191032/http://www.father-ramos.com:80/

If you don’t want to read it yourself, here are some actual quotes from this fake Evangelical site that was, and I can’t stress this enough, MADE BY WHITE WOLF TO PROMOTE DEMON: THE FALLEN: (above disclaimer applies here too)

“Eternal Grace Congregation Church is a community of Christians who seek to love, worship and praise Him and to communicate the Word of the Gospel to the world around us while exposing the lifestyles and and recruiting prctices of those deviants who would make this world a place of horrors. Among these are homosexuals, gamblers, drug addicts and role-players.”

“You may find it useful to tell role-players about the Dallas youths who were burned to death in the steam tunnels of Southern Methodist University (of course it was the Methodists) while exploring them for treasure. Tell them about the syphilis-related insanity of Jimmy Cox, a Tennessee teenager who used role-playing games to build around him a coven of homosexuals. Tell them about Michelle Sikes, the Montana role-player who had a sex-change operation. The more perversion you can ascribe to involvement with role-playing the better. You may even wish to fabricate some of your own, to better illustrate the point to your specific at-risk individual.”

“Listening to accounts of the role-players’ games is either the height of tedium (it must be said, pardon my air of judgment) or evinces strong feelings of pity, […] Invitations to participate, if accepted, place the individual in a precarious position himself, and will probably expose him to the scourges of drugs, fornication, homosexuality and Catholicism/paganism in many cases.”

“point out to them that the activity borders on delusion (“You are not an elf, Tommy!”) and heresy (“If God intended for you to act like a demon, he would have made you a demon, Jenny”).”

“In addition, rumors (which is why I relegate this to a side note instead of including it in the main body of my discourse) link the activities of the Columbine high-school “trenchcoat mafia” with Vampires Masquerade.”

“As good Christians, it is obviously our duty to prevent our youth from learning the corrupt ways these books and games teach. Sex, suicide, drug abuse, homosexuality, “golden showers” and many other behaviors proscribed by the Lord and the Good Book come as a result of players taking their games too far. In particular, the moral execration contained with the Demon book takes these aberrations to new levels by openly encouraging players to act in the interests of Satan (or Lucifer, as he is depicted herein).”

“Additionally, role-playing games teach that violence is an acceptable and even admirable way of solving problems. Significant portions of their rules are devoted to combat and weaponry. Demon, for example, also contains systems by which the satanic characters can attack or use magic upon their enemies, with dark arts spawned from Hell itself. These are not unlike the gay community’s reactionary “straight bashing” in response to the more physical efforts of their loving fellows (but loving in the Lord’s intended way) to bring them back into the fold.”

“This Week: Pastor "Father" Ramos discusses the Catholic Church and the 68 Million deaths its evil has caused throughout the world! You won't read this in the history books! Father Ramos also discusses why he has chosen to reclaim the Holy tile"Father" from Catholocism.”

White Wolf was frequently quite edgy, and often wasn’t great at dealing with social issues (you could argue this is still true of the modern World of Darkness in some cases). But honestly I think this is a fun stunt. It mocks evangelicals for all their insane bigoted beliefs, and for basically giving all the stuff they call satanic free advertising. No matter what though this is an unhinged marketing stunt, and it is so wild that they actually did this.

[incorrect-mxtx-quotes]

Jin Chan, Probably: “Just like, don't be an orphan. Just have parents.”

[allastoredeer]

A cute radioapple headcanon to rid any remaining bad vibes that hater was trying to spread!

Early into living under the same roof as each other, one of the few things Lucifer and Alastor could really agree on is that television is garbage. However! Lucifer is willing to make exceptions for two things. The first is animation. 2d, cg, ESPECIALLY stop-motion, if it's animated and has a decent story/script, it automatically gets a pass. The second depends on if cinema is being lumped in with television here, I can't remember if Lucifer and Alastor dislike movies and films as well. But if cinema and television are being lumped together, then the second exception is The Princess Bride. I can see Lucifer just absolutely adoring The Princess Bride and for good reason it's literally the perfect film nothing else past or present even compares fight me.

So imagine Lucifer manages to talk Alastor into watching The Princess Bride with him (and maybe everyone else, perhaps they're all having a movie night or perhaps Lucifer and Alastor are just watching it on their own) and Alastor finds himself actually enjoying it FAR more than he expected to. And he either begrudgingly admits to Lucifer that it wasn't the worst thing he's had to sit through, or he lies and says he hated it just to get caught later rewatching it by himself and having to eat THAT humble pie😚😚😚

I will not fight you about The Princess Bride being the best movie ever. You're right. I only fight liars.

Hehehehe I can see Alastor claiming to still hate it - but depending on where their relationship is at, Lucifer knows he's lying. He knows.

But it makes it SO much better if he gets caught watching it on his own later 😂 "Lucifer! It's not what it looks like!"

Looks like you're enjoying a bit of modern television, bud (or as modern as it gets for him considering the Princess Bride came out in 1987 LMAO)

[clonedchaos]

Bendy Comics

Hehehe kicking my legs back and forth because I just read the little Bendy’s Crack-Up Comics Book and here are some of my thoughts while reading it:

This image of Bendy. Tempted to make this my pfp ngl.

I like the cat one, not just bc my batim toon oc is a black cat—

Also I need the goats in the main line game stat.

Also also, Boris and Alice are adorable :3

Alice! Boris is dying! Alice!!!!!

“I see you are a man of culture.”

This one was just cute. Bendy deserves all the pies, the lil guy.

Okay, calm down there, Dr. Eggman.

“You’re too late, Bendy! I am now FORKLIFT CERTIFIED!”

Alice is such a mood in this book, she’s my spirit animal.

The moon comic is so strange out of context. Bendy and Alice get arrested and Boris eats the moon.

Also as for the Bendy charm line, Bendy 100% tries to max out his charisma stat in dnd and that’s canon now.

He’s gonna do a crime.

Projectionist cameo? Also Spinel is in this? Neat. (I also very much need her in a mainline game plz and thank you)

Just this entire page. “We didn’t wake up and choose violence… But the children did.”

Edgar appreciation. He’s the littlest guy.

More Alice appreciation because she’s iconic.

[ryomaandgundhamkin]

it takes me like… one doodle/sketch of an AU for anything and I can somewhat fully style emulate. usually the first most canon sketch is the best out of all of them- the second one not so much.

(my autistic artistic self was chatting with cai and the bot I was using had a really cool photo- and then I MANAGED to find the artist/art for it! so yeah it’s from an AU so uh… I doodled it a lot😭 BRO I SWEAR I WAS SO BORED THAT I DOODLED A LITERAL CAI BOTS PFP CHARACTER-)

dying because I drew them-

help it’s not even done?! but it looks good and it’s the first time I drew this artstyle

average yapping session (don’t ask what I wrote in- there’s a way I write when I’m bored and I did that😭 helppp